1 00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:04,009 ("High" by NEIL FRANCES and Paw Paw Rod playing) 2 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:07,814 (patrons chattering) 3 00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:09,582 Jackie: Midnight to 6:00 in the morning. 4 00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:12,918 Well, I was shocked, shocked! 5 00:00:12,954 --> 00:00:14,854 You said yes to breakfast. 6 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,421 Oh, yeah. I'm like a supermodel. 7 00:00:16,457 --> 00:00:18,024 -(Carrie laughs) -"I never get outta bed 8 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:19,692 for less than $10,000," 9 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:20,963 or Carrie Bradshaw. 10 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,029 -One or the other. (chuckles) -Aw, shucks. Well... 11 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,265 anyway, I wanted to keep a promise 12 00:00:26,301 --> 00:00:29,305 that you probably don't even remember me making. 13 00:00:30,872 --> 00:00:33,105 Dude, did you dedicate your book to me? 14 00:00:33,141 --> 00:00:36,477 (laughs) No, Jackie, I did not. 15 00:00:37,177 --> 00:00:41,614 But you said you wanted a personally signed copy when it came out. 16 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,149 -There you are. -Oh, thanks. 17 00:00:43,184 --> 00:00:45,451 This is gonna make me look hella smart on the subway. 18 00:00:45,487 --> 00:00:47,053 Ooh, well, I don't know. 19 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,887 (groans) No. 20 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:52,058 I just broke my no-Hollandaise- before-noon rule. 21 00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:53,659 -(stomach bubbling) -Fuck! 22 00:00:53,695 --> 00:00:55,364 Sorry, excuse me. 23 00:00:56,565 --> 00:00:57,563 Godspeed. 24 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,365 (phone chimes) 25 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,405 (light, cheery music playing) 26 00:01:03,738 --> 00:01:04,737 Hm? 27 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,775 (indistinct chatter) 28 00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:11,680 Carrie: Hm? 29 00:01:15,884 --> 00:01:19,585 Oh, E-- (chuckles) Enid. Hi! 30 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,754 -Carrie. Hello. (chuckles) -Yeah. (chuckles) 31 00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:25,190 I thought I recognized your highlights 32 00:01:25,226 --> 00:01:28,360 and fairly certain it was your shade, 33 00:01:28,396 --> 00:01:30,729 but I couldn't bring myself to say hello. 34 00:01:30,765 --> 00:01:33,265 -Oh, why not? -Well, I felt terrible 35 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,067 about what happened to your husband. 36 00:01:35,103 --> 00:01:37,030 And then I was mortified 37 00:01:37,066 --> 00:01:39,505 that I hadn't written a condolence card-- 38 00:01:39,541 --> 00:01:40,539 That's okay. It's okay. 39 00:01:40,575 --> 00:01:43,571 The truth is, I had my own death. 40 00:01:43,607 --> 00:01:44,844 I'm sure you heard. 41 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,907 My God, no. Who did you lose? 42 00:01:46,943 --> 00:01:50,082 Me. After 34 years at "Vogue," 43 00:01:50,118 --> 00:01:52,785 and then six years before that at "Mademoiselle," 44 00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:54,453 may she rest in peace. 45 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,785 Condé Nast gave me the golden parachute, 46 00:01:57,821 --> 00:01:59,525 if you can believe it. Me. 47 00:01:59,561 --> 00:02:01,193 No, honestly, I can't. 48 00:02:01,229 --> 00:02:02,594 But if it helps to hear, 49 00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:06,132 I'm really enjoying your "Ask Enid" newsletter. 50 00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:09,135 I mean, you must know it's wildly popular. 51 00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:11,304 Yeah, it is. It-It's rivaling "Goop." 52 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,741 Oh! 53 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:14,773 What are you reading? Something wonderful? 54 00:02:14,809 --> 00:02:18,444 Oh, well, I hope so. It's, um, it's my new book. 55 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,579 -Oh. -Actually, I had s-sent you an email. 56 00:02:21,615 --> 00:02:23,916 It was-- I-I don't-- It was a while ago. 57 00:02:23,952 --> 00:02:25,117 I don't know if you got it. 58 00:02:25,153 --> 00:02:26,289 No. 59 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,653 Yes. 60 00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:31,156 Y-You wanted me to blurb your book. 61 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,292 Congratulations, by the way. 62 00:02:33,328 --> 00:02:36,462 Well, obviously, the blurb ship has sailed, 63 00:02:36,498 --> 00:02:37,934 but, um... 64 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:44,637 if you... ever felt inclined, you know, to mention the book 65 00:02:44,673 --> 00:02:46,505 in "Ask Enid," 66 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:47,773 I mean, I don't have to tell you 67 00:02:47,809 --> 00:02:49,808 how tough publishing is these days. 68 00:02:49,844 --> 00:02:52,578 You know, Carrie, if I mentioned your book, 69 00:02:52,614 --> 00:02:56,315 I would have to mention everyone's book and then-- 70 00:02:56,351 --> 00:02:59,517 Oh... does everyone have a book? 71 00:02:59,553 --> 00:03:01,920 Well, I don't. (chuckles) 72 00:03:01,956 --> 00:03:06,258 Mostly to avoid embarrassing situations like this. But, listen, 73 00:03:06,294 --> 00:03:07,960 I'm having a thought. 74 00:03:07,996 --> 00:03:09,999 I like it already. (chuckles) 75 00:03:11,732 --> 00:03:16,769 I'm launching an online magazine called "Vivante!" 76 00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:19,471 -Oh! -That's French for "alive." 77 00:03:19,507 --> 00:03:23,508 -Yes, yes, of course, of course. -It's focused on women our age. 78 00:03:23,544 --> 00:03:27,946 Women our age are grossly underrepresented in the media, 79 00:03:27,982 --> 00:03:30,015 so I-I'd love it if you could get involved. 80 00:03:30,051 --> 00:03:31,283 You're perfect for it. 81 00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:34,452 Oh, oh, my gosh. Well... thank you. 82 00:03:34,488 --> 00:03:35,722 -Thank you. -(phone ringing) 83 00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:37,022 Enid: Oh! Excuse me. 84 00:03:37,058 --> 00:03:40,558 This is my new beau. He's really something. 85 00:03:40,594 --> 00:03:43,729 I'll send you the "Vivante!" info. 86 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,866 -Okay. -Enid: Hey, handsome. 87 00:03:46,902 --> 00:03:49,868 Tippleton Lake Camp! Final boarding! 88 00:03:49,904 --> 00:03:51,703 Harry: Okay, this is it. 89 00:03:51,739 --> 00:03:54,173 Charlotte: Baby, I'm gonna miss you so much! 90 00:03:54,209 --> 00:03:55,574 It's only four weeks, Mom. 91 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,009 I will see you visiting day. 92 00:03:57,045 --> 00:03:58,544 -Leila: Lily! -Leila! Love you guys! 93 00:03:58,580 --> 00:03:59,912 -Harry: Bye. -Charlotte: Sweetheart, love you! 94 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,547 Summer fun is boarding now! 95 00:04:02,583 --> 00:04:05,084 -I love you, I love you, I love you, baby girl! -Charlotte: Bye, you guys! 96 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,647 Did you remember to pack my retainer? 97 00:04:06,683 --> 00:04:08,887 I am 95% sure. 98 00:04:08,923 --> 00:04:11,089 -Hi! -That leaves a 5% window of error. 99 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,658 I don't like those odds. 100 00:04:12,694 --> 00:04:14,526 -Lisa: Bye! -Be good. Bye, baby. 101 00:04:14,562 --> 00:04:17,362 -Did you pack your deodorant? -Yeah, yeah. 95% sure. 102 00:04:17,398 --> 00:04:18,930 -Lisa: Ha! -(Herbert laughs) 103 00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:21,267 What are you guys gonna do with all your kid-free time? 104 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,270 Both: Oh... work. 105 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:24,306 Kinky. 106 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,604 No kids, no interruptions. 107 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,006 And now that my film is in Tribeca, 108 00:04:28,042 --> 00:04:30,509 I have a zillion polishes and clearances 109 00:04:30,545 --> 00:04:33,212 that I can do without any guilt. 110 00:04:33,248 --> 00:04:37,116 I've got a huge backlog of pro-bono things I wanna dive into. 111 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,084 -You two? -Yeah, um-- 112 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,688 -Things we're behind on, too. -(kids saying goodbye) 113 00:04:42,724 --> 00:04:45,328 (parents saying goodbye) 114 00:04:46,061 --> 00:04:48,728 Lisa/Charlotte: Aww. 115 00:04:48,764 --> 00:04:51,764 (parents cheering) 116 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,966 -Okay! Bye, guys! -All right, bye! 117 00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:57,635 -Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go! -Okay, okay, okay! 118 00:04:57,671 --> 00:04:59,438 -(Lisa laughing) -They are definitely gettin' it on. 119 00:04:59,474 --> 00:05:01,473 I don't think I've ever seen Harry run. 120 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,542 Don't forget our 20th anniversary party! 121 00:05:03,578 --> 00:05:05,577 -Charlotte: Okay! -Harry: Okay, okay. Go, go, go. 122 00:05:05,613 --> 00:05:09,981 So, I've invited my dad to the party. 123 00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:12,245 -Your father and my mother in the same room? -Yeah. 124 00:05:12,281 --> 00:05:14,452 Have you learned nothing from Gabby's baptism? 125 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:17,556 Don't get upset. The kids are gone. 126 00:05:17,592 --> 00:05:20,196 (repetitive pounding) 127 00:05:30,206 --> 00:05:31,040 (sighs) 128 00:05:41,316 --> 00:05:43,319 (pounding continues) 129 00:05:44,853 --> 00:05:47,056 -Good morning! -Morning. 130 00:05:52,828 --> 00:05:54,026 Good morning, honey. 131 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,165 We have to be there at 1:00. 132 00:05:57,633 --> 00:05:59,265 Do those headphones work? 133 00:05:59,301 --> 00:06:02,100 Obviously not if I can hear you. 134 00:06:02,136 --> 00:06:03,135 Charlotte: Right. 135 00:06:03,171 --> 00:06:05,174 (pounding continues) 136 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:11,580 We're due at therapy at 1:00! 137 00:06:17,052 --> 00:06:19,055 (sighs) Oh, fuck. 138 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:24,893 -(phone dings) -(gasps) 139 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,731 (chuckles) 140 00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:32,001 (sighs) 141 00:06:35,102 --> 00:06:39,671 -Hey, do I present as a 75-year-old retiree? -There you are. 142 00:06:39,707 --> 00:06:43,708 -Be honest. -Why on earth would you ask that? 143 00:06:43,744 --> 00:06:48,748 Well, my former boss and mentor, who is in her 70s, 144 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:53,686 alluded to us being the same age 145 00:06:53,722 --> 00:06:57,150 not once, not twice, but thrice 146 00:06:57,186 --> 00:06:58,924 the other day when I ran into her. 147 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,660 -I counted. -She wishes you were in her group. 148 00:07:01,696 --> 00:07:02,828 You're not. You're in my group. 149 00:07:02,864 --> 00:07:04,997 We're sophomores, not seniors. 150 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:07,199 Just stop using the word "thrice." 151 00:07:07,235 --> 00:07:08,668 Don't get me wrong, the woman's amazing, 152 00:07:08,704 --> 00:07:10,536 but now she wants me to write for her 153 00:07:10,572 --> 00:07:13,004 online magazine, "Vivante!" 154 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,742 (chuckles) If you need a magazine to remind yourself 155 00:07:15,778 --> 00:07:17,376 that you're alive... 156 00:07:17,412 --> 00:07:18,711 you've got bigger problems. 157 00:07:18,747 --> 00:07:20,178 Well, now I've got a bigger problem 158 00:07:20,214 --> 00:07:23,850 'cause she invited me to attend her start-up. 159 00:07:23,886 --> 00:07:27,322 God bless, but a retirement magazine? 160 00:07:27,721 --> 00:07:29,921 -I'm not there yet. -Well, I'll never be there. 161 00:07:29,957 --> 00:07:32,524 Trust me, I'll be pushing penthouses from the grave. 162 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,860 I mean, I just started the second book of a three-book deal. 163 00:07:34,896 --> 00:07:36,461 I still have friends that call me "dude." 164 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,297 Exactly. Just ignore her, dude. 165 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:41,467 Who is this sad, desperate woman anyway? 166 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,939 She was my editor at "Vogue." Enid Frick. 167 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:48,741 Okay... (sighs) we have to start this whole conversation over. 168 00:07:48,777 --> 00:07:50,209 The woman's a legend. 169 00:07:50,245 --> 00:07:52,310 -Mm. -Do you subscribe to "Ask Enid"? 170 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,279 I will literally buy anything she recommends. 171 00:07:54,315 --> 00:07:58,083 Yes, exactly, which is why I shamelessly asked her to plug my book. 172 00:07:58,119 --> 00:08:00,285 Brilliant move. They'll fly off the shelves. 173 00:08:00,321 --> 00:08:01,587 No, no, no, no. She said no. 174 00:08:01,623 --> 00:08:02,822 If she plugs my book, 175 00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,123 she has to plug everyone's book. 176 00:08:04,159 --> 00:08:05,724 "No" is the opening offer. 177 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,792 Everything's a negotiation. In my business, 178 00:08:07,828 --> 00:08:10,062 it's, "Throw in the custom loveseat, it's a yes." 179 00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:12,597 In yours, it's, "I came to your old lady start-up 180 00:08:12,633 --> 00:08:15,271 and you plug my book in 'Ask Enid.'" 181 00:08:15,803 --> 00:08:20,440 -Can I do that? -You have to go to that old lady event and work it. 182 00:08:20,476 --> 00:08:22,478 (phone chimes) 183 00:08:23,478 --> 00:08:25,982 Another text from this guy? 184 00:08:27,449 --> 00:08:29,581 That's a beauty. The car, not the man. 185 00:08:29,617 --> 00:08:33,252 "Wrong number." What is happening? 186 00:08:33,288 --> 00:08:37,525 -Was my life recently hacked by the AARP? -(phone chimes) 187 00:08:37,891 --> 00:08:42,962 Oh, not wrong number. "Carrie Bradshaw? Marlon Shaffer. 188 00:08:42,998 --> 00:08:45,531 A little birdie gave me your number." 189 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,634 -Who's the "little birdie"? -Who's Marlon Shaffer? 190 00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:52,504 -And where does he buy his yellow sweater? -(Seema laughs) 191 00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:54,974 Charlotte: Ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 192 00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:56,541 -Oh. Oh yeah. -Like that. 193 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,976 -Yeah, just like that. -You are so fuckin' hot. 194 00:08:58,012 --> 00:09:00,145 Ooh, you are so fuckin' hot. 195 00:09:00,181 --> 00:09:02,347 -I'm close, baby. -Ooh! H-Harry, Harry, 196 00:09:02,383 --> 00:09:04,015 do you wanna come on my tits? 197 00:09:04,051 --> 00:09:05,885 -It's not even my birthday. That's a birthday thing. -Oh God! 198 00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,654 I know, but it's like birthday 199 00:09:07,690 --> 00:09:08,954 and Hanukkah and Christmas 200 00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:11,390 all rolled into one. Let's do it! 201 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:14,059 Okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 202 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,128 (moaning) 203 00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:18,025 Ooh, ooh! 204 00:09:18,061 --> 00:09:19,832 -Ah! -(moaning) 205 00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:21,400 -(Charlotte giggles) -(Harry exhales) 206 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:22,869 -Woo! -(Charlotte exhales) 207 00:09:22,905 --> 00:09:26,341 Oof, we still got it, babe... We still got it. 208 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,777 -(Harry exhales) -Do we? 209 00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:32,845 Harry... 210 00:09:32,881 --> 00:09:35,381 did you just fake an orgasm? 211 00:09:35,417 --> 00:09:37,583 What? No. 212 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,255 Why do you think-- 213 00:09:40,555 --> 00:09:41,557 Where is it? 214 00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:45,323 And then, there was nothing there. 215 00:09:45,359 --> 00:09:46,593 And according to Harry, 216 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,061 the orgasm was very present 217 00:09:49,097 --> 00:09:52,097 and powerful, just invisible. 218 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,933 So, it's Casper the Friendly Cum? 219 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,500 (laughs) Oh, my God! 220 00:09:55,536 --> 00:09:57,003 Don't you dare call him that. 221 00:09:57,039 --> 00:09:59,004 Why're you lookin' at me? She's the potty mouth. 222 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,400 Excuse me... 223 00:10:00,436 --> 00:10:03,008 can I ask how you made this discovery? 224 00:10:03,044 --> 00:10:05,443 Well, normally, he would come inside me. 225 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:08,547 -Uh-huh. -This was just a special treat since the kids are away. 226 00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:12,619 -Aw. -So, who knows how long it's been going on. 227 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:15,287 And this is a problem why? 228 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:18,257 I-I mean, I-I haven't been with a man in a while, 229 00:10:18,293 --> 00:10:20,525 but jizz-free sex sounds like an upgrade. 230 00:10:20,561 --> 00:10:22,361 Guess that should've been our first clue about you. 231 00:10:22,397 --> 00:10:24,797 -(Anthony laughs) -Why, do you enjoy it? 232 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,866 I've never given it any thought, 233 00:10:26,902 --> 00:10:30,097 literally until this moment, 234 00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:32,675 but to me... jizz... 235 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,208 jizz... 236 00:10:35,244 --> 00:10:37,776 jizz... 237 00:10:37,812 --> 00:10:41,646 jizz is like an old friend that gets on your nerves. 238 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,216 -Miranda: Mm. -You know? I think I'd miss it if it were gone. 239 00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:45,784 Aw, that's sweet. 240 00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:48,554 Miranda: Anthony, as the sole ejaculator in the group, 241 00:10:48,590 --> 00:10:51,090 can you shed any light on this particular phenomenon? 242 00:10:51,126 --> 00:10:52,758 Thank you, Rachel Maddow. 243 00:10:52,794 --> 00:10:55,461 I believe the clinical term is "Dust-Balls." 244 00:10:55,497 --> 00:10:58,330 -Oh. -I have no personal experience with this, 245 00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:00,332 either as a cum-er or cum-ee. 246 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,801 I'm like a milking machine, if you must know. 247 00:11:02,837 --> 00:11:04,002 -'Scuse me. -Waiter: Yes, sir? 248 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,270 -Little mayo, please? -Waiter: Right away. 249 00:11:05,306 --> 00:11:07,306 See? I've never been a fan of mayo, either. 250 00:11:07,342 --> 00:11:08,468 -Another clue. -Carrie: Hm. 251 00:11:08,504 --> 00:11:11,610 Well, I've always been a fan of mayo. 252 00:11:11,646 --> 00:11:14,774 It's like the confetti at a parade. 253 00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:18,784 It's like the finale of fireworks on the 4th of July. 254 00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:20,352 I love you so much right now. 255 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,855 Me too. Who knew you were a cum-slut? 256 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,627 Hey, don't cum-slut-shame her. 257 00:11:25,026 --> 00:11:26,792 That is gonna be your new name in my phone, though. 258 00:11:26,828 --> 00:11:28,761 -(Miranda laughs) -Okay, shh. 259 00:11:28,797 --> 00:11:30,860 And the children, just in time. 260 00:11:31,194 --> 00:11:32,832 It is 10 o'clock. 261 00:11:32,868 --> 00:11:34,299 -Yeah. -We are not begging 262 00:11:34,335 --> 00:11:35,868 one of our children to go to bed, 263 00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,269 we are at The Mark, 264 00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:41,273 we are having a nightcap after a long day's work. 265 00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:44,176 Do you realize that we are having an actual conversation 266 00:11:44,212 --> 00:11:46,012 -without interruptions? -Hm. 267 00:11:46,048 --> 00:11:47,446 We are listening to each other 268 00:11:47,482 --> 00:11:50,549 -and getting things done. -What can't we do-- 269 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,817 Both: With the kids away. 270 00:11:51,853 --> 00:11:54,055 -(Herbert chuckles) -Lisa: Mm. 271 00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:56,722 After FedEx-ing Gabby's retainer, 272 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,490 I walked by the Mark Kasabian Gallery 273 00:11:58,526 --> 00:12:00,026 and realized I wanted him to come to the party 274 00:12:00,062 --> 00:12:01,293 so I invited him, he's coming. 275 00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:03,162 -Is that okay? -Of course, it is. 276 00:12:03,198 --> 00:12:06,197 -You know why? -Both: Because the kids are away! 277 00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:09,235 -(Herbert chuckles) -Oh, and thank you for handling the party invitations. 278 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:10,836 I was happy to take it off your plate. 279 00:12:10,872 --> 00:12:12,341 Your hands are more than full now. 280 00:12:13,342 --> 00:12:14,907 In fact... 281 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,508 (sighs) you know that run 282 00:12:16,544 --> 00:12:18,678 I've been mullin' over for City Comptroller? 283 00:12:18,714 --> 00:12:20,146 Oh, you mean threatening? 284 00:12:20,182 --> 00:12:23,186 Well, this morning, when I was workin' out, 285 00:12:23,719 --> 00:12:25,721 I decided on a bit of a re-think. 286 00:12:26,087 --> 00:12:28,588 I think it would be too much, especially now. 287 00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:29,687 Are you sure? 288 00:12:29,723 --> 00:12:30,923 -(Herbert sighs) -I mean, I know how much 289 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,558 -you wanna do for this city. -Yeah, I do. 290 00:12:33,594 --> 00:12:36,829 But there'll be time for that when the kids are older, but not now. 291 00:12:36,865 --> 00:12:38,864 And we both know with my campaigning, 292 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:42,001 it would all fall... on you, 293 00:12:42,037 --> 00:12:44,203 and I think that would be unfair. 294 00:12:44,239 --> 00:12:47,940 I love "no kids" us so much. 295 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:48,811 Mm-hmm. 296 00:12:50,278 --> 00:12:52,611 Shall I order two more espresso martinis? 297 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:55,948 So that we can... be wide awake to go home and-- 298 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,384 -Work more? -Yeah. 299 00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:58,417 Yeah. 300 00:12:58,453 --> 00:13:00,085 Hm. 301 00:13:00,121 --> 00:13:03,459 -Nothing to worry about. -Oh, good. Good! 302 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:07,429 Excuse me about the power bar. Busy day, low blood sugar. 303 00:13:08,262 --> 00:13:10,396 (mouth full) Um, you just had a "dry orgasm," 304 00:13:10,432 --> 00:13:12,434 or retrograde ejaculation. 305 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,503 Your semen went into your bladder instead of your penis. 306 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:20,773 -Why would it do that? -Um, Dr. Chang, once this starts happening, 307 00:13:20,809 --> 00:13:23,246 is there any way to-- 308 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,046 -Redirect traffic? -Yes! 309 00:13:27,082 --> 00:13:30,783 Sure. Right now, your muscles are not well-coordinated 310 00:13:30,819 --> 00:13:32,217 with your pelvic floor. 311 00:13:32,253 --> 00:13:34,653 -I have one of those? -Dr. Chang: You sure do. 312 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:35,925 Ever heard of Kegels? 313 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,891 Heard of it? It's all I eat during the High Holidays. 314 00:13:38,927 --> 00:13:41,954 Honey, not kugel. Kegels. 315 00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:44,662 They're exercises to strengthen the muscles down there. 316 00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:48,267 I'm an expert. I can teach you. It'll be fun. 317 00:13:48,303 --> 00:13:49,902 I bet not as fun as kugel. 318 00:13:49,938 --> 00:13:54,506 Okay, we're gonna lift and squeeze the sphincter. 319 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,508 But remember, it's not your butthole. 320 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,143 You are not trying to hold in a fart. 321 00:13:58,179 --> 00:13:59,344 ‘Cause I already know how to do that. 322 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,780 Yes. So, remember what he said, 323 00:14:01,816 --> 00:14:04,517 "Think of your penis like an elephant's trunk, 324 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,319 slurping from the river." 325 00:14:07,355 --> 00:14:10,589 -Okay, slurp it up! -Oh, baby. 326 00:14:10,625 --> 00:14:15,127 -Come on now, slurp! Let's see it. -Yes, ma'am. Slurp. 327 00:14:15,163 --> 00:14:17,930 (Harry slurping) 328 00:14:17,966 --> 00:14:20,432 -Slurp. -You call that a slurp? 329 00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:22,301 Ugh. Give me your hand, feel mine. 330 00:14:22,337 --> 00:14:23,836 Miss, we hardly know each other. 331 00:14:23,872 --> 00:14:24,937 Harry, get serious. 332 00:14:24,973 --> 00:14:26,771 Do ya ever wanna come again or not? 333 00:14:26,807 --> 00:14:28,501 I do. I-I wanna, I wanna shoot all over you. 334 00:14:28,537 --> 00:14:30,346 Okay then, let's do this. 335 00:14:31,345 --> 00:14:33,011 Are you freakin' kiddin' me?! 336 00:14:33,047 --> 00:14:35,881 -It's like a steel trap down there. -You are welcome. 337 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:39,952 I do three sets of 10, three times a day, 338 00:14:39,988 --> 00:14:41,788 so you can suck it up. 339 00:14:41,824 --> 00:14:45,490 Now, come on. Two, three, four. 340 00:14:45,526 --> 00:14:49,394 Slurp that sperm from the pelvic floor. 341 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,035 -The rhyming helps. -Oh, good, good, good! Come on! 342 00:14:53,396 --> 00:14:55,634 So, who would like-- 343 00:14:55,670 --> 00:14:58,203 -Okay, I'll start. -Great... Brady. 344 00:14:58,239 --> 00:15:00,039 Brady: Yeah, so it's been three weeks. 345 00:15:00,075 --> 00:15:01,873 I'm pretty much done talking about my breakup. 346 00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:04,309 -Like, I'm good with all that. -I agree, buddy. 347 00:15:04,345 --> 00:15:05,677 You're a champ, you know? 348 00:15:05,713 --> 00:15:07,712 So, is there anything else that we should be, you know, 349 00:15:07,748 --> 00:15:10,816 -doing or thinking about? -Yeah, your breakup. 350 00:15:10,852 --> 00:15:14,390 Luisa's gone, fuckin' whatever. What about you two? 351 00:15:15,357 --> 00:15:17,222 -What about us? -Mom, come on. 352 00:15:17,258 --> 00:15:18,757 Do you think I'm an idiot or something? 353 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,159 Steve: Hey! Nobody's saying you're an idiot. 354 00:15:21,195 --> 00:15:25,865 Uh, me and your Mom are keeping our stuff separate, that's all. 355 00:15:25,901 --> 00:15:28,233 You installed a punching bag in your bedroom. 356 00:15:28,269 --> 00:15:30,336 And Mom's fuckin' banished herself to the couch, 357 00:15:30,372 --> 00:15:31,565 pretending she's fine with it. 358 00:15:31,601 --> 00:15:34,273 I am fine with it... for now. 359 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:37,443 Right, yeah, well, I'm not. 360 00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,611 Are you two separating or what? 361 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:43,215 Your mom and I, you know, can talk about this privately. 362 00:15:43,251 --> 00:15:44,683 We don't wanna drag you in-- 363 00:15:44,719 --> 00:15:46,551 I'm right here in the middle of it. 364 00:15:46,587 --> 00:15:47,886 You're up there like "Raging Bull." 365 00:15:47,922 --> 00:15:50,555 I can barely sleep, and I'm heavily medicated. 366 00:15:50,591 --> 00:15:52,859 You are not heavily medicated. 367 00:15:52,895 --> 00:15:54,760 Okay, then give me more. 368 00:15:54,796 --> 00:15:57,296 Laurel: Okay... what I'm hearing is 369 00:15:57,332 --> 00:16:00,698 there's a lot of underlying tension in the house. 370 00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:04,069 This is a good time to look at the family dynamic as a whole. 371 00:16:04,105 --> 00:16:08,111 I mean, what can I say? You know, it is what it is. 372 00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:11,480 Nothing. Mom? 373 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,048 Mom? 374 00:16:13,615 --> 00:16:16,452 -This is not who she is, just so you know. -Miranda? 375 00:16:17,953 --> 00:16:20,052 We both wanna be home for Brady. 376 00:16:20,088 --> 00:16:21,924 Yeah, well, it's not helping. 377 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:25,090 I think it might be in everyone's best interest 378 00:16:25,126 --> 00:16:28,427 to find a more permanent solution. 379 00:16:28,463 --> 00:16:31,467 -We're looking for consistency. -Okay. 380 00:16:33,468 --> 00:16:36,568 Then I guess I should find a place. 381 00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:39,772 No, I'll find a place, you know, closer to Scout. 382 00:16:39,808 --> 00:16:41,474 It-- That-That's my bar. 383 00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:43,346 Oh, well... 384 00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,110 thank you. 385 00:16:47,043 --> 00:16:49,685 Well, Brady, is there anything else on your mind? 386 00:16:50,819 --> 00:16:52,118 Uh, it's kind of off-topic, 387 00:16:52,154 --> 00:16:54,389 but I'm not gonna start college in the fall. 388 00:16:55,156 --> 00:16:58,061 That's okay, Buddy. Whatever you need. 389 00:17:00,461 --> 00:17:02,795 Mom, we can all see that your head is about to explode, 390 00:17:02,831 --> 00:17:04,331 so why don't you just say it? 391 00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:05,801 No. (chuckles) 392 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,835 I have nothing to say. 393 00:17:08,871 --> 00:17:10,468 -(elevator dings) -I have so much to say. 394 00:17:10,504 --> 00:17:12,638 I don't even know where to start. 395 00:17:12,674 --> 00:17:14,939 This is Brady. This is not a kid who self-motivates. 396 00:17:14,975 --> 00:17:18,710 And Steve is just sitting there like it's totally chill 397 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,513 that our son has decided to completely skip college. 398 00:17:21,549 --> 00:17:23,381 Well, why didn't you say anything? 399 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:27,153 Because I blew us up and we all know it. 400 00:17:27,189 --> 00:17:30,823 It's the silent agreement Steve and I co-signed. 401 00:17:30,859 --> 00:17:33,124 He's not allowed to punch me in the face, 402 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,328 and I'm not allowed to take up any more space than the couch. 403 00:17:36,364 --> 00:17:38,463 -Sounds healthy to me. -Yeah, right. 404 00:17:38,499 --> 00:17:40,532 -Carrie: Welcome home! -Miranda: Welcome home! 405 00:17:40,568 --> 00:17:44,669 Oh, hi, Lyle! I-I didn't know you'd still be here. 406 00:17:44,705 --> 00:17:47,172 -I-It's nice to see you again. -Yeah, you, too. Come on in. 407 00:17:47,208 --> 00:17:49,341 -Oh, great, thanks. -Che: Hey! 408 00:17:49,377 --> 00:17:52,645 -Hey! -Welcome to page 42 of the Ikea catalog! 409 00:17:52,681 --> 00:17:54,847 -(Miranda laughs) -What? Nice! 410 00:17:54,883 --> 00:17:56,883 Now where do I get the Swedish meatballs? 411 00:17:56,919 --> 00:18:00,152 -(laughs) Come here. -Oh, my gosh. Oh! 412 00:18:00,188 --> 00:18:01,420 (Che laughs) 413 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:05,090 I have to say, Che with an elevator is even hotter 414 00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:07,159 than Che in a five-flight walk-up. 415 00:18:07,195 --> 00:18:10,162 Oh, and if my TV show goes-- 416 00:18:10,198 --> 00:18:12,698 -When your TV show goes. -Thank you for that. 417 00:18:12,734 --> 00:18:14,900 And I'm taping in LA, I will have no problem 418 00:18:14,936 --> 00:18:17,436 subletting it for more than I pay. 419 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,104 -Now, I'm part of the problem. -(laughter) 420 00:18:21,344 --> 00:18:22,345 Che: Mm. 421 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,313 (Che and Miranda moaning) 422 00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,246 Hi, I'm Carrie. 423 00:18:27,282 --> 00:18:30,715 I keep waiting for someone to introduce us. 424 00:18:30,751 --> 00:18:32,350 -Same here. -(Miranda and Che laughing) 425 00:18:32,386 --> 00:18:36,589 Shit. Lyle, this is Carrie. Carrie, this is Lyle. 426 00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:38,057 -Hi. -Hi. Nice to meet you. 427 00:18:38,093 --> 00:18:39,424 -Likewise. -All right, I'll take that. 428 00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:41,459 -I'm the designated bartender. -Oh... Oh, okay. 429 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:44,363 Lyle is a mixologist at the Malibu Soho House. 430 00:18:44,399 --> 00:18:46,265 That's right, but lower your expectations. 431 00:18:46,301 --> 00:18:49,935 'Cause Che has no fancy glassware. Or any glassware. 432 00:18:49,971 --> 00:18:51,804 -(all laughing) -Hey, show me the bedroom. 433 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,473 -Oh! Okay. -(Miranda laughs) 434 00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:57,779 But just show her. I'm only here for one drink. 435 00:18:58,312 --> 00:19:00,016 Loud and clear. (laughs) 436 00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:04,650 So... Carrie, what's your story? 437 00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:07,886 Let's see. What is my story? 438 00:19:07,922 --> 00:19:10,222 Well, as I mentioned, I'm only here for one drink, 439 00:19:10,258 --> 00:19:11,657 and I'd much rather talk about you, 440 00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:15,427 a gentleman wearing a ring on every single finger. 441 00:19:15,463 --> 00:19:18,734 -(Lyle laughs) -What, pray-tell, is your story? 442 00:19:19,301 --> 00:19:21,333 -Well, I was married to Che for two years. -Mm! 443 00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,101 -So, that's a short story. -(Carrie chuckles) 444 00:19:23,137 --> 00:19:24,469 And the rings are a holdover 445 00:19:24,505 --> 00:19:27,306 from my Beverly Hills hairdressing days. 446 00:19:27,342 --> 00:19:31,510 -A Beverly Hills hairdresser. -Mm-hmm. 447 00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:35,815 -Perhaps, I'll be staying for more than just one drink. -(Lyle chuckles) 448 00:19:35,851 --> 00:19:38,854 -Oh... I just-- -(Che moaning) 449 00:19:40,188 --> 00:19:43,522 I guess I didn't think that Lyle would still be here. 450 00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,958 Mm, did you think he'd drive me in his truck 451 00:19:45,994 --> 00:19:47,626 all the way from LA to Hudson Yards, 452 00:19:47,662 --> 00:19:50,290 load up all my new shit from Ikea, 453 00:19:50,326 --> 00:19:53,532 (chuckles) swing by my old place, get my clothes, 454 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,002 turn around and drive 3,000 miles back? 455 00:19:56,038 --> 00:19:58,170 (chuckles) Oh, shit, that was loud. 456 00:19:58,206 --> 00:20:02,274 Okay... I guess when you put it that way. 457 00:20:02,310 --> 00:20:06,111 I just... I just miss being with you. 458 00:20:06,147 --> 00:20:07,846 So much. 459 00:20:07,882 --> 00:20:10,983 Me too... Me too. 460 00:20:11,019 --> 00:20:12,854 He'll be sleeping on the couch. 461 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,487 -Okay. -Okay. 462 00:20:14,523 --> 00:20:16,154 -Cameron Diaz... -Mm. 463 00:20:16,190 --> 00:20:18,223 -Eva Longoria, Che Diaz... -Wow. 464 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,625 -before they were Che. -Really? 465 00:20:20,661 --> 00:20:24,163 Oh, yeah, yeah. This was, uh, this was in 2010. 466 00:20:24,199 --> 00:20:26,831 Che was in LA to tape "Funny Latina Ladies" for Showtime. 467 00:20:26,867 --> 00:20:30,703 -(Carrie chuckles) -And an agent told them to lose the long, flowing 468 00:20:30,739 --> 00:20:33,072 -Carrie Underwood hair. -Oh, my God. 469 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:35,974 Mm-hmm. So, Che came in-- 470 00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:40,646 -Mm-hmm. -I gave them a sexy shag, and then... we shagged. 471 00:20:40,682 --> 00:20:44,583 -It's very "Shampoo" of you. -Mm, total compliment. 472 00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:48,754 Anyway, Che got cut from the special and blamed the new haircut, 473 00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:50,923 so the least I could do was marry them. 474 00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,258 Yep. 475 00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,529 -Oh, shit! -Oh! 476 00:20:53,929 --> 00:20:55,698 (softly) Oh, shit. 477 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,497 Che: Oh. 478 00:20:58,533 --> 00:21:00,265 -We broke your couch. -(Miranda gasps) 479 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:02,868 -(Che laughs) -It's the side you screwed in, man. 480 00:21:02,904 --> 00:21:05,837 -Carrie: Happy Housewarming! -(laughter) 481 00:21:05,873 --> 00:21:08,874 -There you are. -Happy anniversary, my love. 482 00:21:08,910 --> 00:21:10,342 Happy anniversary, baby. 483 00:21:10,378 --> 00:21:13,678 -Hi! So sorry we're late. -We were workin' out. 484 00:21:13,714 --> 00:21:16,248 -Is that what we're callin' it now? -It's not what you think. 485 00:21:16,284 --> 00:21:18,250 Lisa: Well... you're not late at all. 486 00:21:18,286 --> 00:21:20,119 You're actually the first to arrive. 487 00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:22,855 -Oh. -Do I not exist? 488 00:21:22,891 --> 00:21:24,790 Oh, I am so sorry, Mother Wexley. 489 00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:27,592 Yes, you were punctual, as always. 490 00:21:27,628 --> 00:21:29,761 Uh, Harry, they have got a beautiful whiskey over here. 491 00:21:29,797 --> 00:21:32,000 -I know you're gonna love it. -Excellent. 492 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,701 Oh, wow! Everything looks so beautiful. 493 00:21:35,737 --> 00:21:38,637 -Did you rent out the whole place? -Lisa: Yes. 494 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:41,473 Is that Mark Kasabian? Do you know him? 495 00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:43,810 Yes, he sold me the Amy Sherald 496 00:21:43,846 --> 00:21:45,410 and then a few other paintings. 497 00:21:45,446 --> 00:21:47,412 Hello! Happy anniversary! 498 00:21:47,448 --> 00:21:48,813 -Sorry, I'm late. -Lisa: Aw! 499 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:52,484 The Jim Stall Installation needed a little extra TLC. 500 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:56,388 -Hello. Mark Kasabian. -Hi. I am Charlotte York Goldenblatt. 501 00:21:56,424 --> 00:21:58,824 I have been to your gallery countless times. 502 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:00,325 It's a pleasure to meet you. 503 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:02,561 And you're not late, Mark, we just started. 504 00:22:02,597 --> 00:22:04,496 Oh, but, uh, didn't you say 7:30? 505 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,932 Yes. I guess everyone is stuck in traffic? 506 00:22:06,968 --> 00:22:09,134 Well, I've been here since 7:15 507 00:22:09,170 --> 00:22:12,208 and not so much as an hors d'oeuvre. 508 00:22:12,608 --> 00:22:15,007 Okay, why don't we all go in? 509 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:17,342 (quietly) How did I ever make it 20 years? 510 00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,144 ♪ At last ♪ 511 00:22:19,180 --> 00:22:21,617 Oh, Daddy, I'm so happy you came. 512 00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:28,020 Darling, this looks like it has the makings of a magical evening. 513 00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:31,824 You've approached me with that same hors d'oeuvre 514 00:22:31,860 --> 00:22:34,694 for the second time so far. 515 00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:36,796 Spoke too soon. 516 00:22:36,832 --> 00:22:38,665 Harry... I'd like to think that 517 00:22:38,701 --> 00:22:40,632 we're more than just "dad" friends. 518 00:22:40,668 --> 00:22:42,468 Oh, that's nice 'cause I feel the same way. 519 00:22:42,504 --> 00:22:45,037 I-I think of us as "friend" friends. 520 00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:48,007 Good... That's why I sat you next to my mother. 521 00:22:48,043 --> 00:22:49,809 You seem so familiar to me. 522 00:22:49,845 --> 00:22:52,111 Well, I used to work at the Wickham Gallery, 523 00:22:52,147 --> 00:22:53,778 back when Banks Thurlow owned it. 524 00:22:53,814 --> 00:22:57,482 Wait, a-are you the young girl who discovered Sonya Sklaroff, 525 00:22:57,518 --> 00:22:59,880 -right out of RISD? -That was me. 526 00:22:59,916 --> 00:23:01,854 Yes, I used to be her. 527 00:23:01,890 --> 00:23:03,721 I can't believe you remember that. 528 00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:06,058 I always remember memorable people. 529 00:23:06,094 --> 00:23:08,193 -Ha! -Happy anniversary. 530 00:23:08,229 --> 00:23:10,730 Thank you. Harry, this is 531 00:23:10,766 --> 00:23:13,832 Lisa's father, Mr. Lawrence Todd. 532 00:23:13,868 --> 00:23:16,468 He is a renowned playwright and poet, 533 00:23:16,504 --> 00:23:18,137 and founder of the Newark Free Theater. 534 00:23:18,173 --> 00:23:20,472 No kiddin'. That's very impressive. 535 00:23:20,508 --> 00:23:22,141 Are you like my son-in-law here, 536 00:23:22,177 --> 00:23:24,810 who's a highly paid centurion 537 00:23:24,846 --> 00:23:27,046 to the great god of Wall Street? 538 00:23:27,082 --> 00:23:28,408 Eh, not exactly. 539 00:23:28,444 --> 00:23:30,983 I'm more involved in the re-distribution of wealth. 540 00:23:31,019 --> 00:23:32,584 -I'm a divorce lawyer. -(Herbert chuckles) 541 00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:35,555 So, I guess it's all lawyers and bankers tonight, 542 00:23:35,591 --> 00:23:37,222 as I feared. 543 00:23:37,258 --> 00:23:39,758 Honey, I just texted Susan to see how close they were, 544 00:23:39,794 --> 00:23:43,528 and she just wrote back, “What are you talking about? We're in Capri.” 545 00:23:43,564 --> 00:23:45,731 I mean, surely you were tracking the RSVPs, right? 546 00:23:45,767 --> 00:23:48,972 -On the Paperless Post? -I think so... Hang on. 547 00:23:51,073 --> 00:23:54,277 Um... I think I see the problem. 548 00:23:54,704 --> 00:23:57,108 And? 549 00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:59,983 -I never hit send. -What do you mean? You never hit send on what? 550 00:24:00,916 --> 00:24:03,419 The invitations?! Herbert! 551 00:24:04,453 --> 00:24:07,786 So... hello. (laughs) 552 00:24:07,822 --> 00:24:10,955 We, uh, we wanted to keep you up to speed on, 553 00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:13,958 uh, this, uh, situation that we find ourselves in. 554 00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:17,796 -Honey, would you-- -Herbert forgot to hit send on the invitations. 555 00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:20,199 So, all of you who are actually here 556 00:24:20,235 --> 00:24:22,701 were invited the old-fashioned way, by talking. 557 00:24:22,737 --> 00:24:26,099 Everyone else is in Europe or the Hamptons by now. 558 00:24:26,135 --> 00:24:27,872 So, I hope you're hungry 559 00:24:27,908 --> 00:24:32,044 because we have a four-course meal coming for 31 people. 560 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,082 -Oh, my God. -Herbert: And, uh... 561 00:24:34,749 --> 00:24:36,352 and oysters don't keep. (chuckles) 562 00:24:37,486 --> 00:24:38,584 Okay, full disclosure. 563 00:24:38,620 --> 00:24:39,952 I was planning to stop in 564 00:24:39,988 --> 00:24:42,454 for a quick drink and then take off... 565 00:24:42,490 --> 00:24:45,457 but now it feels too awkward to leave. 566 00:24:45,493 --> 00:24:47,663 Oh, no, you can't leave now. 567 00:24:48,163 --> 00:24:51,162 -Oh, no. We took our wedding very seriously. -Lyle: Mm-hmm. 568 00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:55,100 -We were married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator... -(Miranda laughs) 569 00:24:55,136 --> 00:24:58,604 -...both of us dressed as Elvis. -(all laughing) 570 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,440 Oh... Jannie was dressed as Priscilla. 571 00:25:01,476 --> 00:25:03,341 -Oh, Jannie. -Jannie. 572 00:25:03,377 --> 00:25:06,446 -Who's Jannie? -Jannie was, kind of, our girlfriend 573 00:25:06,482 --> 00:25:07,780 for a few months. 574 00:25:07,816 --> 00:25:09,447 Yeah, we were poly-pioneers. 575 00:25:09,483 --> 00:25:11,483 -Uh-huh. -Miranda: Meanwhile, I was cutting up 576 00:25:11,519 --> 00:25:14,153 carrot sticks for Brady's lunchbox. 577 00:25:14,189 --> 00:25:16,191 (all chuckling) 578 00:25:16,558 --> 00:25:18,590 -Carrie, I know what you're thinking. -Hm? 579 00:25:18,626 --> 00:25:21,093 Really? 'Cause I'm not even sure. 580 00:25:21,129 --> 00:25:23,661 This wasn't some pervy, straight guy idea. 581 00:25:23,697 --> 00:25:25,532 In fact, I wasn't even down with this at first, 582 00:25:25,568 --> 00:25:26,933 but young Che over here 583 00:25:26,969 --> 00:25:28,600 wanted to break out of the old norms. 584 00:25:28,636 --> 00:25:31,003 -(laughs) Hello?! Not just me. -Lyle: Mm-hmm. 585 00:25:31,039 --> 00:25:33,105 Lyle: It was totally just you. 586 00:25:33,141 --> 00:25:35,107 You said, you said it was important for us 587 00:25:35,143 --> 00:25:37,776 -to push our relationship boundaries, right? -Ah. 588 00:25:37,812 --> 00:25:41,180 And, and, and, and if I was afraid to explore that... 589 00:25:41,216 --> 00:25:44,316 I wasn't for you, so I figured, well... 590 00:25:44,352 --> 00:25:46,118 "happy life, happy wife." 591 00:25:46,154 --> 00:25:49,525 -Marriage takes sacrifice. -Lyle: Speaking of sacrifice... 592 00:25:50,725 --> 00:25:53,159 -Jannie was my first pegging. -(Che gasps) 593 00:25:53,195 --> 00:25:55,660 -Well, look at the time. -Oh, I guess that's not 594 00:25:55,696 --> 00:25:57,629 -ice-breaker conversation. -Oh, shit. 595 00:25:57,665 --> 00:25:59,999 Is my first strap-on experience off the table? 596 00:26:00,035 --> 00:26:02,167 -Che/Lyle: Aww. -You know, I still don't know 597 00:26:02,203 --> 00:26:04,870 how I feel about the first time I wore a strap-on. 598 00:26:04,906 --> 00:26:06,338 How am I still in this room? 599 00:26:06,374 --> 00:26:09,975 -(all laughing) -Oh, okay. We'll walk ya out. 600 00:26:10,011 --> 00:26:11,711 -Lobster, sir? -More lobster? 601 00:26:11,747 --> 00:26:12,612 Charlotte: Hello. 602 00:26:12,648 --> 00:26:13,979 Herbert: Oh, more lobster! 603 00:26:14,015 --> 00:26:15,648 -(chuckles) Eat up, everyone. -No, no thank you. 604 00:26:15,684 --> 00:26:17,750 There's, uh, lots more of it. 605 00:26:17,786 --> 00:26:19,051 Mother... 606 00:26:19,087 --> 00:26:21,753 wouldn't you like to come down here and join us? 607 00:26:21,789 --> 00:26:26,762 This was the only seat without the air conditioning blasting on it. 608 00:26:27,528 --> 00:26:29,356 Honey, go back and keep her company. 609 00:26:29,392 --> 00:26:31,397 Yeah, I feel like I did my time. 610 00:26:31,433 --> 00:26:33,102 Waiter: More lobster, sir? 611 00:26:33,602 --> 00:26:35,835 (sighs) 612 00:26:35,871 --> 00:26:37,069 (whispers) Thank you. 613 00:26:37,105 --> 00:26:39,838 Texting at the table. I-I apologize. 614 00:26:39,874 --> 00:26:41,874 Well, if you weren't so nice, 615 00:26:41,910 --> 00:26:44,613 you would be home by now, so I'll allow it. 616 00:26:44,879 --> 00:26:48,046 My 10-year-old found a way to smuggle her cell phone into camp 617 00:26:48,082 --> 00:26:50,282 -and she's torturing me nonstop... -Waiter: Another lobster, sir. 618 00:26:50,318 --> 00:26:52,184 begging to be picked up. 619 00:26:52,220 --> 00:26:55,387 Oh, both my kids were homesick first time at sleepaway camp. 620 00:26:55,423 --> 00:26:57,622 Yours will adjust, I promise. 621 00:26:57,658 --> 00:27:01,093 -(phone dings) -(scoffs) Madness. This is Delilah again! 622 00:27:01,129 --> 00:27:03,730 Oh, don't answer it. In fact, give it to me. 623 00:27:03,766 --> 00:27:05,531 -Excuse me? -I'm serious. 624 00:27:05,567 --> 00:27:07,900 -If they smell weakness, they are like bloodhounds... -Dad. 625 00:27:07,936 --> 00:27:09,969 and they will go in for the kill. 626 00:27:10,005 --> 00:27:12,173 -Give me the phone. -(glass clinking) 627 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:16,275 I'd like to make a toast to my beautiful daughter, Lisa, 628 00:27:16,311 --> 00:27:20,046 and her magnificent film that I've just been told 629 00:27:20,082 --> 00:27:24,983 is in the Tribeca Film Festival! (laughs) 630 00:27:25,019 --> 00:27:27,085 He does know it's our anniversary, right? 631 00:27:27,121 --> 00:27:29,254 -(Eunice clears throat) -Lisa: Thank you, Daddy. Cheers! 632 00:27:29,290 --> 00:27:31,460 -Happy news! -Hear, hear. 633 00:27:32,494 --> 00:27:35,127 -(Che sighs, laughs) -Shit! 634 00:27:35,163 --> 00:27:36,198 Fuck. 635 00:27:36,765 --> 00:27:38,266 Well, I guess he was exhausted. 636 00:27:39,132 --> 00:27:41,566 Miranda: Could you wake him up and move him to the couch? 637 00:27:41,602 --> 00:27:44,604 -The broken couch? -(Miranda sighs) 638 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:45,838 He sleeps like a dead man. 639 00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:47,506 And, honestly, I am so tired. 640 00:27:47,542 --> 00:27:49,210 I'm gonna pass out, too. 641 00:27:49,977 --> 00:27:53,480 -Ugh. -You're gonna make it up to me tomorrow. 642 00:27:53,516 --> 00:27:54,517 Okay. 643 00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,722 -Ugh. Oh, God. -(Che chuckles) 644 00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:04,456 So, Delilah's mother, my third ex-wife, had a mid-life crisis. 645 00:28:04,492 --> 00:28:08,294 -I guess it was all too much for her. -Well, there are very few 646 00:28:08,330 --> 00:28:10,122 Lisa Todd Wexleys in the world, 647 00:28:10,158 --> 00:28:12,364 -who can juggle everything so gracefully. -We have 31 buffers between 'em. 648 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,301 And look at her now, getting back to her passion. 649 00:28:15,337 --> 00:28:16,472 Waiter: More wine, ma'am? 650 00:28:17,740 --> 00:28:19,772 Why don't you follow her lead? 651 00:28:19,808 --> 00:28:21,207 Come work for me. 652 00:28:21,243 --> 00:28:24,342 -(chuckles) If only. -No, I-I'm, I'm being serious. 653 00:28:24,378 --> 00:28:26,478 I would love to invite someone 654 00:28:26,514 --> 00:28:28,715 with your taste and tenacity 655 00:28:28,751 --> 00:28:30,382 into my gallery. And I promise, 656 00:28:30,418 --> 00:28:33,889 it's not only to rip the phone out of my hand occasionally. 657 00:28:34,656 --> 00:28:35,658 Oh, d-- 658 00:28:37,158 --> 00:28:39,992 It-It's been so long and, and... 659 00:28:40,028 --> 00:28:42,695 my kids need me even more these days. 660 00:28:42,731 --> 00:28:43,727 But... 661 00:28:44,899 --> 00:28:49,134 you've really made my night by asking me. 662 00:28:49,170 --> 00:28:51,774 If you ever change your mind, you know where I am. 663 00:28:53,669 --> 00:28:57,742 Okay... I think it's safe to leave now. 664 00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:01,880 Hey, uh, everyone, uh, uh, dessert's comin' up. 665 00:29:01,916 --> 00:29:04,382 Uh, save room, there's lots of it. 666 00:29:04,418 --> 00:29:08,220 Lisa: Yes, in fact, this is a very special dessert 667 00:29:08,256 --> 00:29:10,488 from our first date 668 00:29:10,524 --> 00:29:13,262 -when you took me for coffee and cake-- -Oh, yeah. 669 00:29:13,896 --> 00:29:15,325 Oh, my God. 670 00:29:15,858 --> 00:29:18,163 -What? -Oh, my God, I forgot to order the cake. 671 00:29:18,199 --> 00:29:19,731 -(chuckles) -Herbert: What?! 672 00:29:19,767 --> 00:29:23,836 Lisa, did you say you forgot to order the cake? 673 00:29:23,872 --> 00:29:27,272 Yes! Yes, I did. I'm so sorry. 674 00:29:27,308 --> 00:29:29,207 Well, (chuckles) I'm stuffed. 675 00:29:29,243 --> 00:29:31,109 Maybe it's a blessin' in disguise, right? 676 00:29:31,145 --> 00:29:33,706 Eunice: Well, if I understand you correctly, 677 00:29:33,742 --> 00:29:36,515 you didn't send out the proper invitations 678 00:29:36,551 --> 00:29:39,054 because you were working so much. 679 00:29:39,554 --> 00:29:43,422 And then, you forgot to order the cake. 680 00:29:43,458 --> 00:29:47,460 Shall I tell you why I never forgot to order the cake? 681 00:29:47,496 --> 00:29:49,595 Mother, please. 682 00:29:49,631 --> 00:29:52,431 Because I baked them all myself 683 00:29:52,467 --> 00:29:54,300 and I was happy to do it. 684 00:29:54,336 --> 00:29:57,730 It helped my husband's business to flourish. 685 00:29:57,766 --> 00:30:00,239 Yeah, well, things are a little different now. 686 00:30:00,275 --> 00:30:01,807 I have my own career. 687 00:30:01,843 --> 00:30:06,278 And I had mine. I was a concert pianist, 688 00:30:06,314 --> 00:30:10,482 but when I became a mother, my priorities changed. 689 00:30:10,518 --> 00:30:11,483 May I have my phone back, please? 690 00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:12,985 Lawrence Todd: Well, Mrs. Wexley, 691 00:30:13,021 --> 00:30:16,155 just because you let your dream wither away 692 00:30:16,191 --> 00:30:19,224 doesn't mean that my daughter has to. 693 00:30:19,260 --> 00:30:21,894 Lisa Todd is an artist. 694 00:30:21,930 --> 00:30:26,565 She's putting beauty and ideas into the world, 695 00:30:26,601 --> 00:30:31,571 rather than just praying to the almighty dollar... 696 00:30:31,607 --> 00:30:33,239 like your son here. 697 00:30:33,275 --> 00:30:34,473 Thank you for the compliment, Daddy, 698 00:30:34,509 --> 00:30:36,603 but Herbert is concerned with lots of things 699 00:30:36,639 --> 00:30:38,110 that have nothing to do with money. 700 00:30:38,146 --> 00:30:40,183 Really? Could've fooled me. 701 00:30:40,783 --> 00:30:43,182 Name one project that he's working on 702 00:30:43,218 --> 00:30:45,989 that doesn't revolve around profit. 703 00:30:46,555 --> 00:30:48,421 Um... 704 00:30:48,457 --> 00:30:50,059 I rest my case. 705 00:30:54,028 --> 00:30:56,862 Herbert is running for City Comptroller. 706 00:30:56,898 --> 00:30:58,964 -He is?! -He is? 707 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,635 -I am? -Yes! He wants to give back. 708 00:31:02,671 --> 00:31:07,109 And I support his decision 100%. 709 00:31:07,643 --> 00:31:10,710 -Hear, hear! -All: Cheers! 710 00:31:10,746 --> 00:31:12,515 Can I come back down there now? 711 00:31:17,019 --> 00:31:19,022 (Miranda moaning) 712 00:31:36,204 --> 00:31:37,904 (Miranda scoffs) 713 00:31:37,940 --> 00:31:40,238 (whispers) Are we really doing this? 714 00:31:40,274 --> 00:31:42,641 I-I feel like my freshman-year roommate 715 00:31:42,677 --> 00:31:45,678 who used to have sex while I was three feet away in the next bed. 716 00:31:45,714 --> 00:31:47,380 (Che chuckles) 717 00:31:47,416 --> 00:31:48,417 Yeah. 718 00:31:50,118 --> 00:31:52,017 (moaning) 719 00:31:52,053 --> 00:31:54,290 -Okay. -(Che chuckles) 720 00:31:58,460 --> 00:32:00,696 -(moaning) -Oh, yeah. 721 00:32:22,050 --> 00:32:24,653 (Che chuckles, moans) 722 00:32:28,389 --> 00:32:30,326 Are you okay with this? 723 00:32:33,962 --> 00:32:35,093 Thank you for asking. 724 00:32:35,129 --> 00:32:36,595 I need to think about this for a minute 725 00:32:36,631 --> 00:32:39,298 because my visceral reaction is "no," 726 00:32:39,334 --> 00:32:41,233 but maybe that's just fear of the unknown. 727 00:32:41,269 --> 00:32:45,070 Because, I mean, how will I ever know unless I try it? 728 00:32:45,106 --> 00:32:47,306 We're all here. It's kinda hot. 729 00:32:47,342 --> 00:32:49,778 It's getting less hot the more you talk. 730 00:32:54,816 --> 00:32:57,453 (light music playing) 731 00:32:58,352 --> 00:33:00,356 Che: Ooh, is that a yes? 732 00:33:02,158 --> 00:33:03,159 Yes. 733 00:33:05,927 --> 00:33:08,531 (Che and Lyle chuckling) 734 00:33:13,134 --> 00:33:14,870 Oh, yeah. 735 00:33:15,971 --> 00:33:18,975 -(heavy breathing) -(moaning) 736 00:33:26,180 --> 00:33:28,184 ♪ ♪ 737 00:33:32,621 --> 00:33:34,623 (Che chuckling) 738 00:33:47,034 --> 00:33:50,135 -(groans) Ow, ow, ow! Charley horse! Ow! -Oh! No, no, no! 739 00:33:50,171 --> 00:33:52,938 -Ow, ow, ow! Oh, that's bad! -What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong?! 740 00:33:52,974 --> 00:33:56,843 (groaning) Um... ow... 741 00:33:56,879 --> 00:33:58,114 I just-- 742 00:33:58,714 --> 00:34:01,146 You know what, guys? (stammers) 743 00:34:01,182 --> 00:34:03,816 This just isn't me, so just, just-- 744 00:34:03,852 --> 00:34:06,451 You should... you should carry on. 745 00:34:06,487 --> 00:34:09,655 Seriously, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm good with it. 746 00:34:09,691 --> 00:34:12,294 Ow! Fuck! Ow. 747 00:34:12,527 --> 00:34:14,030 Fucking hell. Ow. 748 00:34:15,063 --> 00:34:16,499 (sighs) 749 00:34:17,099 --> 00:34:18,534 (groans) 750 00:34:22,837 --> 00:34:24,440 (grunting) 751 00:34:25,541 --> 00:34:27,543 (breathing heavily) 752 00:34:36,918 --> 00:34:38,120 Hey... 753 00:34:38,620 --> 00:34:41,124 you really didn't have to stop. I meant that. 754 00:34:42,190 --> 00:34:45,028 Oh, I know... but I missed you. 755 00:34:45,794 --> 00:34:46,892 (clicks tongue) 756 00:34:46,928 --> 00:34:48,364 Aww. 757 00:34:49,965 --> 00:34:52,097 -(Miranda groans) -Oh, God. 758 00:34:52,133 --> 00:34:54,770 (Che grunts, laughs) 759 00:34:56,639 --> 00:35:00,643 There we go. Yeah. (laughs) 760 00:35:02,110 --> 00:35:03,312 Both: Oh! 761 00:35:04,713 --> 00:35:06,715 (both laughing) 762 00:35:08,081 --> 00:35:13,019 If you're calling to ask to be my wing-man at "Vivante!" the answer is yes. 763 00:35:13,055 --> 00:35:14,453 Oh, no, I couldn't come to that. 764 00:35:14,489 --> 00:35:17,222 You know what they say, never meet your heroes. 765 00:35:17,258 --> 00:35:20,927 Do they also say, "Never ask your old boss to plug your book?" 766 00:35:20,963 --> 00:35:22,632 Because, um... 767 00:35:23,398 --> 00:35:25,730 I might not be brave enough to pull that off today. 768 00:35:25,766 --> 00:35:28,100 Seema (on phone): Okay, that's why I called. I sensed you'd cave. 769 00:35:28,136 --> 00:35:31,269 Carrie, don't be afraid to be transactional. 770 00:35:31,305 --> 00:35:34,206 Enid's a work-contact, not a gal-pal. 771 00:35:34,242 --> 00:35:36,375 -Uh, I'll do what I can. -Do more. 772 00:35:36,411 --> 00:35:37,710 You need this for your book sales. 773 00:35:37,746 --> 00:35:39,545 And just don't get in any photo 774 00:35:39,581 --> 00:35:40,612 near women with walkers. 775 00:35:40,648 --> 00:35:42,415 That'd be a brand-killer for you. 776 00:35:42,451 --> 00:35:43,652 Let's go, Rocco. 777 00:35:44,853 --> 00:35:46,718 -Hello. Hello. -Welcome. 778 00:35:46,754 --> 00:35:48,555 Hi. Can we get a photo of you three ladies? 779 00:35:48,591 --> 00:35:49,722 Oh, I-- N-- 780 00:35:49,758 --> 00:35:50,923 -D-- Oh, uh-- -Sheila: Yes. 781 00:35:50,959 --> 00:35:52,291 Oh, no, I don't wanna-- 782 00:35:52,327 --> 00:35:53,992 My hair is so-- No, no, no. 783 00:35:54,028 --> 00:35:55,461 Thank you, but thank you. 784 00:35:55,497 --> 00:35:57,129 (camera clicks) 785 00:35:57,165 --> 00:35:59,163 ♪ ♪ 786 00:36:00,969 --> 00:36:02,005 Oh. 787 00:36:02,305 --> 00:36:03,538 Can I, um-- 788 00:36:03,805 --> 00:36:05,004 Do you need any help? 789 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,276 Do I look like I need help? 790 00:36:08,376 --> 00:36:09,807 (quietly) Kinda. 791 00:36:09,843 --> 00:36:12,678 So, tell me when you need me to do the thing, okay? 792 00:36:12,714 --> 00:36:14,146 -Okay. -Okay. All right. 793 00:36:14,182 --> 00:36:15,314 -That's Gloria Steinem. -Oh, my gosh! 794 00:36:15,350 --> 00:36:16,816 Hello, hello, hello. 795 00:36:16,852 --> 00:36:18,350 -Oh! -Hi, how are you? 796 00:36:18,386 --> 00:36:19,956 Guest: That was Gloria Steinem! 797 00:36:21,223 --> 00:36:23,188 -Enid, hi. -Hi. 798 00:36:23,224 --> 00:36:27,926 -Thank you for including me. -Well, when I got the idea for "Vivante!" 799 00:36:27,962 --> 00:36:30,997 the first name that I thought of was Carrie Bradshaw. 800 00:36:31,033 --> 00:36:34,466 And, um-- Oh, hello. 801 00:36:34,502 --> 00:36:37,369 That's Jane Rosen. (softly) Money. 802 00:36:37,405 --> 00:36:40,167 Uh, I should say hello. You and I will talk later. 803 00:36:40,203 --> 00:36:42,803 Oh, great! And, and because just to circle back 804 00:36:42,839 --> 00:36:45,110 to our earlier conversation, 805 00:36:45,146 --> 00:36:46,612 the one that we were, 806 00:36:46,648 --> 00:36:48,447 you know, having at breakfast the other day-- 807 00:36:48,483 --> 00:36:50,648 Carrie! Carrie, hello! 808 00:36:50,684 --> 00:36:53,319 -Oy. -Oh, you know Bitsy von Muffling? 809 00:36:53,355 --> 00:36:55,553 -Just tangentially, through my boyfriend. -Mm. 810 00:36:55,589 --> 00:36:57,690 She's only here 'cause she has deep pockets. 811 00:36:57,726 --> 00:37:00,993 -Oh. -Oh, my God. 812 00:37:01,029 --> 00:37:02,795 -Hi. -I don't know what this afternoon 813 00:37:02,831 --> 00:37:05,164 is gonna cost me, but it's worth it. 814 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,327 -(Carrie laughs) -Gloria Steinem! 815 00:37:07,363 --> 00:37:09,401 -Oh, I saw her. She walked past me. -Oh, I know! 816 00:37:09,437 --> 00:37:12,170 -You look very pink. Pretty-- -You-- Well, thank you. 817 00:37:12,206 --> 00:37:14,139 -(clears throat) Excuse me, everyone. -Carrie: Oh, oh, oh. 818 00:37:14,175 --> 00:37:15,841 Enid: Ladies, welcome. 819 00:37:15,877 --> 00:37:18,743 I think this might be the greatest gathering 820 00:37:18,779 --> 00:37:21,747 of female minds since Eleanor Roosevelt 821 00:37:21,783 --> 00:37:23,816 had dinner alone at the White House. 822 00:37:23,852 --> 00:37:25,684 (all laughing) 823 00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:28,754 Which we know she did often because she wasn't a lot of fun. 824 00:37:28,790 --> 00:37:33,558 -(laughter) -Let's get seated so we can begin. 825 00:37:33,594 --> 00:37:38,801 So, what do you think of Marlon Schaffer? 826 00:37:40,635 --> 00:37:44,537 Oh. Oh, are y-- You're the little birdie? 827 00:37:44,573 --> 00:37:46,538 -Tweet-tweet. -Oh. 828 00:37:46,574 --> 00:37:50,710 Well, ever since I saw you so, so sad 829 00:37:50,746 --> 00:37:53,079 in the nail salon that day, 830 00:37:53,115 --> 00:37:56,152 I wanted to do whatever I could to cheer you up. 831 00:37:56,585 --> 00:37:58,283 Isn't he wonderful? 832 00:37:58,319 --> 00:38:00,552 Oh, I-I don't-- 833 00:38:00,588 --> 00:38:04,689 He doesn't exactly seem right for me. 834 00:38:04,725 --> 00:38:07,092 Don't let the Albany area code throw you. 835 00:38:07,128 --> 00:38:09,095 He also has a place in town. 836 00:38:09,131 --> 00:38:11,296 -Okay. -And, Carrie, trust me, 837 00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:15,133 the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. 838 00:38:15,169 --> 00:38:17,769 You know, maybe I should give this prime seat to-- 839 00:38:17,805 --> 00:38:21,240 And if you're going to get under someone, it should be Marlon. 840 00:38:21,276 --> 00:38:23,308 The best sex I've had since Bobby. 841 00:38:23,344 --> 00:38:27,145 I mean, of course, no one could please me in bed like my Bobby. 842 00:38:27,181 --> 00:38:29,714 Oh, so attentive to my needs. 843 00:38:29,750 --> 00:38:32,752 Mr. Broadway loved his lady. (laughs) 844 00:38:32,788 --> 00:38:35,554 My head is spinning. 845 00:38:35,590 --> 00:38:39,324 I was always under the impression that Bobby was gay. 846 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,060 He was! That's why he tried so hard. 847 00:38:42,096 --> 00:38:43,396 -Oh. -You know me. 848 00:38:43,432 --> 00:38:45,230 I love a challenge. 849 00:38:45,266 --> 00:38:47,632 Clearly unfinished business with my father. Hm. 850 00:38:47,668 --> 00:38:50,502 Oh, Bitsy, I so appreciate it, really, I do, 851 00:38:50,538 --> 00:38:53,238 but I'm, I-I'm, I'm doing much better. 852 00:38:53,274 --> 00:38:54,906 Don't be hasty! 853 00:38:54,942 --> 00:38:58,310 Ladies around town call Marlon "the human tripod" 854 00:38:58,346 --> 00:39:01,350 'cause it's like he has three legs. 855 00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:03,782 -Guest: Do you need a seat, Catherine? -My God. Oh! 856 00:39:03,818 --> 00:39:05,083 -Would you like this...? -Oh, thank you. 857 00:39:05,119 --> 00:39:08,020 Yeah, I-- No, I see one way over there. 858 00:39:08,056 --> 00:39:09,149 You have a seat. 859 00:39:09,185 --> 00:39:11,690 So, when Enid told me about "Vivante!" 860 00:39:11,726 --> 00:39:14,759 I thought it sounded like a revolution, 861 00:39:14,795 --> 00:39:18,463 and every revolution starts with a conversation, 862 00:39:18,499 --> 00:39:20,498 which is why we are here. 863 00:39:20,534 --> 00:39:22,868 This is the way "Ms." magazine started. 864 00:39:22,904 --> 00:39:25,204 Can't believe it was a half-century ago. 865 00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:27,206 -Oh, my God. (laughs) -(all exclaiming) 866 00:39:27,242 --> 00:39:30,542 Gloria Steinem: So, maybe the new frontier is aging. 867 00:39:30,578 --> 00:39:34,350 So, this is our new frontier and you are it, folks. 868 00:39:35,216 --> 00:39:37,210 We live longer than men, 869 00:39:37,246 --> 00:39:39,885 which we don't mean to do, actually. 870 00:39:39,921 --> 00:39:41,557 (laughter) 871 00:39:42,991 --> 00:39:46,057 Uh, but for all of us, women and men, 872 00:39:46,093 --> 00:39:49,961 -with our much longer life expectancy in this world... -(text whooshes) 873 00:39:49,997 --> 00:39:56,401 -(phone buzzes, dings) -I think we're beginning to see all kinds of new possibilities. 874 00:39:56,437 --> 00:40:01,573 And the more we understand that, the more we stop being divided 875 00:40:01,609 --> 00:40:05,644 by age, and race, and culture, and, and gender. 876 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,581 -I love you. I love you so much. -(Harry moaning) 877 00:40:08,617 --> 00:40:11,054 I love you, baby. I love you. 878 00:40:11,887 --> 00:40:14,523 -Ooh, ooh! -(moaning) 879 00:40:16,391 --> 00:40:18,323 How'd we do? How'd we do? 880 00:40:18,359 --> 00:40:20,763 Happy Fourth of July. 881 00:40:23,965 --> 00:40:26,235 (toilet flushes) 882 00:40:27,770 --> 00:40:29,734 Oh! Wow, gosh. 883 00:40:29,770 --> 00:40:32,437 -There's probably no original way-- -Talk or go! 884 00:40:32,473 --> 00:40:34,339 Oh, sorry. No, you go. Sorry. 885 00:40:34,375 --> 00:40:36,841 -Oh, I think we should-- -Here, guess we'll-- Yeah, over here. 886 00:40:36,877 --> 00:40:41,213 There's really no-- Ooh, I'm sor-- Oh, here. Ooh, 's-scuse me. Sorry. 887 00:40:41,249 --> 00:40:42,715 Anyway, there's, like I said, 888 00:40:42,751 --> 00:40:44,016 no original way to say this, 889 00:40:44,052 --> 00:40:45,783 but, so, just thank you. 890 00:40:45,819 --> 00:40:49,388 Thank you. I have admired you my entire life. 891 00:40:49,424 --> 00:40:52,257 Well, I guess that means we care about the same things. 892 00:40:52,293 --> 00:40:54,892 I would like to think so, yes. 893 00:40:54,928 --> 00:40:58,464 -Oh. -And I'm not proud to admit, but I almost didn't come today 894 00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:03,801 because I thought that... maybe I didn't quite belong. 895 00:41:03,837 --> 00:41:07,806 I'm afraid I'm still battling my own deep-seated ageism. 896 00:41:07,842 --> 00:41:09,074 We're all battling that. 897 00:41:09,110 --> 00:41:10,942 But we are at the age of 898 00:41:10,978 --> 00:41:14,647 -our minds, not our wombs, hello. -Yes. Yes, exactly. (laughs) 899 00:41:14,683 --> 00:41:16,048 -Excuse me. -Ooh. 900 00:41:16,084 --> 00:41:18,617 The "Vivante!" photographer is desperate for you. 901 00:41:18,653 --> 00:41:20,418 -Okay, okay, okay. -Carrie: Oh, thank you. 902 00:41:20,454 --> 00:41:25,591 -We'll meet again. -Okay. I hope so. Thank you. Wow. Wow. 903 00:41:25,627 --> 00:41:27,393 Oh, my gosh, Enid, hi. 904 00:41:27,429 --> 00:41:29,261 Wow. This is-- This was thrilling, really. 905 00:41:29,297 --> 00:41:32,431 I would be honored to write for "Vivante!" 906 00:41:32,467 --> 00:41:36,068 Oh, I don't want you to write a thousand words about purses. 907 00:41:36,104 --> 00:41:38,904 I want you to give $100,000. 908 00:41:38,940 --> 00:41:40,467 Uh... pardon me? 909 00:41:40,503 --> 00:41:45,144 We're asking founding donors to give $100,000. 910 00:41:45,180 --> 00:41:50,082 So, I'm, I-- I'm not here because of my age, 911 00:41:50,118 --> 00:41:53,118 I'm here because of my deep pockets? 912 00:41:53,154 --> 00:41:55,954 Due to tragic circumstances, 913 00:41:55,990 --> 00:42:00,629 your pockets recently got deeper, so, yes. 914 00:42:01,162 --> 00:42:04,963 Well, Enid... if I gave you $100,000, 915 00:42:04,999 --> 00:42:09,769 -I'd have to give everyone $100,000. -(both laughing) 916 00:42:09,805 --> 00:42:11,298 -Touché. -Hm. 917 00:42:11,334 --> 00:42:13,272 What if I put you in "Ask Enid," 918 00:42:13,308 --> 00:42:16,008 how much would you be comfortable investing? 919 00:42:16,044 --> 00:42:17,476 Enid, I'm heading out. 920 00:42:17,512 --> 00:42:19,211 Um, forgive me for asking. 921 00:42:19,247 --> 00:42:22,114 Would you mind terribly being in a photo with Enid and me? 922 00:42:22,150 --> 00:42:24,444 -I would love that. -Oh, wow, okay. 923 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:25,885 -Would you take it? -Sheila: Oh, absolutely. 924 00:42:25,921 --> 00:42:27,953 -Oh, thank you. There you go. -All righty. 925 00:42:27,989 --> 00:42:29,721 -Okay, ladies. -Okay, all right. Here we are. 926 00:42:29,757 --> 00:42:31,791 -We'll do this fast, sorry. -Ready for picture. 927 00:42:31,827 --> 00:42:32,992 (camera clicks) 928 00:42:33,028 --> 00:42:34,960 Fabulous. Fabulous. 929 00:42:34,996 --> 00:42:38,230 -Thank you. -Thank you so much, Gloria. 930 00:42:38,266 --> 00:42:39,701 Bye. Safe home. 931 00:42:41,068 --> 00:42:44,904 -Let me eyeball that, I've been burned before. -Sure, turn it the other way. 932 00:42:44,940 --> 00:42:45,942 Oh. 933 00:42:48,577 --> 00:42:49,573 Uh... 934 00:42:50,412 --> 00:42:51,844 Carrie? 935 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,213 Are you schtupping my boyfriend? 936 00:42:54,249 --> 00:42:57,850 W-What? W-Why would you even ask that? 937 00:42:57,886 --> 00:42:59,718 This is my Marlon's pecker. 938 00:42:59,754 --> 00:43:03,088 -Why would you have this if you weren't dating him? -Oh. No, no, no, no. 939 00:43:03,124 --> 00:43:07,863 Someone was trying to set me up with him, and I said no. 940 00:43:08,229 --> 00:43:10,597 I, I would never date a man that old. 941 00:43:10,633 --> 00:43:12,567 But I would? 942 00:43:12,933 --> 00:43:17,435 So... let's circle back to what we were talking about before. 943 00:43:17,471 --> 00:43:19,371 Before you called me old? 944 00:43:19,407 --> 00:43:22,441 So, how much did you say you wanted? 945 00:43:22,477 --> 00:43:25,044 I don't think I have my checkbook with me today, 946 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,611 -but-- -PayPal works. 947 00:43:28,750 --> 00:43:30,716 Okay, yeah. 948 00:43:30,752 --> 00:43:32,751 I don't use PayPal much, so. 949 00:43:32,787 --> 00:43:38,690 And just like that, Enid and I became PayPals. 950 00:43:38,726 --> 00:43:41,427 ("Stars Away from Heaven" by Bamyasi playing) 951 00:43:41,463 --> 00:43:46,669 ♪ And we're only two stars away from Heaven ♪ 952 00:43:48,336 --> 00:43:50,769 ♪ Hear me out, I'm the one ♪ 953 00:43:50,805 --> 00:43:54,573 ♪ And we're only two stars away ♪ 954 00:43:54,609 --> 00:43:57,245 ♪ Closer each day ♪ 955 00:43:57,845 --> 00:44:01,918 ♪ Every night I try to keep you occupied ♪ 956 00:44:06,020 --> 00:44:09,582 ♪ I get smashed on the floor without you ♪ 957 00:44:09,618 --> 00:44:13,029 ♪ When I drop my idle thoughts ♪ 958 00:44:16,664 --> 00:44:20,869 ♪ Got me thinkin' we can take another pass ♪ 959 00:44:26,041 --> 00:44:28,407 ♪ Hear me out, I'm the one ♪ 960 00:44:28,443 --> 00:44:34,050 ♪ And we're only two stars away from heaven ♪ 961 00:44:35,450 --> 00:44:37,817 ♪ Hear me out, I'm the one ♪ 962 00:44:37,853 --> 00:44:41,687 ♪ And we're only two stars away ♪ 963 00:44:41,723 --> 00:44:44,590 ♪ Closer each day ♪ 964 00:44:44,626 --> 00:44:46,629 ♪♪