1
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,199
[hydraulic brakes hiss]

2
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:34,284
[somber music playing]

3
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,974
[music continues]

4
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,811
[man] <i>Like we discussed yesterday,</i>

5
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:05,732
<i>I really want you all to focus
on topic sentences more.</i>

6
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:09,903
<i>Too many of you are rushing into examples
in your body paragraphs.</i>

7
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,738
<i>It'd be good for everyone to review</i>

8
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:15,075
<i>the paragraph structure PDF I sent you
a few weeks ago.</i>

9
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:18,829
<i>I know these rules can feel constraining.</i>

10
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,999
<i>But remember, the point of this course</i>

11
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:26,211
<i>is to learn how to write clearly
and persuasively.</i>

12
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,631
<i>That's how you can effectively communicate
your ideas.</i>

13
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,175
- [message alert pings]
- [man chuckles]

14
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,470
<i>Chris, I imagine that was supposed to be
a private chat</i>

15
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:38,098
<i>that you sent to the whole class.
Well done.</i>

16
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:42,436
<i>And, yes, the camera on my laptop
still doesn't work.</i>

17
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,354
<i>Believe me, you're not missing much.</i>

18
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:47,232
<i>Oh, and for those of you
who still haven't given me paper three,</i>

19
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:50,444
<i>I need it by Wednesday, no exceptions.</i>

20
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,404
<i>And remember,</i>

21
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,115
<i>the more you revise these essays,</i>

22
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,283
<i>- the better.</i>
- [waves crashing]

23
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,868
<i>The more you change,</i>

24
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,704
<i>chances are, you'll express
your thoughts and ideas</i>

25
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,497
<i>more clearly and persuasively.</i>

26
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,249
<i>All right?</i>

27
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,293
[wave crashing loudly]

28
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,509
[man grunting]

29
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,303
[rain pattering]

30
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,476
[groans]

31
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:26,605
[heavy breathing, grunting]

32
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,066
[men on video breathing heavily]

33
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,152
- [man grunts]
- [rapid stroking]

34
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,362
Oh!

35
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:36,406
[grunting]

36
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:40,869
[grunting in pain]

37
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:45,457
[grunting laboriously]

38
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,584
[coughs, breathes heavily]

39
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:54,299
[gasping and coughing]

40
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:59,262
"<i>Moby Dick...</i> [wheezes]
In the amazing book, Moby..." [groans]

41
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,181
- [knock at door]
- Liz?

42
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,225
- [pants]
- [knocking continues]

43
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:06,144
Just use your key,
[wheezes] open the door!

44
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,856
- [gasps]
- Oh, my God.

45
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,942
Who are you? [groans in pain]

46
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,110
Gosh, are you okay?

47
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,153
Should I call an ambulance?
I should call an am...

48
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:18,115
- [men panting]
- [continues groaning]

49
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,741
[grunts] Read this to me.

50
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,284
Do you have a phone?
My phone's dead, I need to...

51
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,953
- Please just read it!
- Okay!

52
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,497
- [grunts]
- Okay.

53
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,623
[groans]

54
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,084
"In the amazing book, <i>Moby Dick,</i>
by the author, Herman Melville,

55
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,586
the author recounts his story
of being at sea.

56
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,922
In the first part of his book,
the author, calling himself Ishmael,

57
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,382
is in a small seaside town,

58
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,968
and he is sharing a bed
with a man named Queequeg."

59
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,428
What is this? Why am I reading this?

60
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:41,430
- I-I need to...
- Just read any of it!

61
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,765
"And I felt saddest of all
when I read the boring chapters

62
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,267
that were only descriptions of whales,

63
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,269
because I knew that the author
was just trying to save us

64
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,395
from his own sad story...

65
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,147
- [gasping] Sad story.
- ...just for a little while."

66
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,398
Just for a little while.

67
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:55,318
"This book made me think about my own life
and then it made me feel glad for my..."

68
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,320
[panting]

69
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,614
- Did that help?
- [sighs]

70
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,284
Look, do you have a phone?
My phone is dead.

71
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,035
I need to call an ambulance.

72
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,371
- You need help.
- I don't go to hospitals.

73
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:10,083
- I can't help you, I don't...
- I don't go to hospitals.

74
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:14,921
I am sorry, um... You can go.

75
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,590
Thank you for reading that to me.

76
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:23,930
Are you sure you're okay?

77
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,851
I'm sorry, who are you?

78
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,354
Are you acquainted
with the Gospel of Jesus Christ?

79
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,107
- What?
- I'm sharing Christ's message of love,

80
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,942
- and I'm showing people...
- [sighing] Oh.

81
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:40,530
I think I should call my friend.
She's a nurse, she takes care of me.

82
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,408
Yeah. Yeah, I'll go. Sorry to bother you.

83
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:44,493
Wait.

84
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:47,162
My phone fell under there, can you...

85
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,750
Yeah, sure.

86
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,629
[sighs]

87
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:03,261
[sighing]

88
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:04,888
- Here it is.
- [groans in pain]

89
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,312
Hey, listen, I don't know
what's gonna happen

90
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,980
in the next few minutes.

91
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,733
If you don't mind, could you... [grunts]

92
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,944
- Yeah. Yeah, of course.
- Thank you.

93
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,077
[automated voice speaking]
<i>It's Liz. I'm not around. Leave a message.</i>

94
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,623
What was that thing
that you had me read to you?

95
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,167
It's an essay.

96
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,253
It's my job.

97
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,422
I teach online college courses.

98
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,007
But why did you have me read it to you?

99
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:49,057
Because I thought I was dying.
And I wanted to hear it one last time.

100
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,938
[velcro rips]

101
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,815
You should have called an ambulance.

102
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,859
With no health insurance?

103
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:02,612
Being in debt is better than being dead.
What's wrong with you?

104
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,657
Why is there a missionary here?

105
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,702
Someone left the door unlocked.

106
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,288
I left after you fell asleep earlier,

107
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,498
I must've forgotten.

108
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,793
Good thing, too.
If I hadn't, you might have...

109
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,004
- Liz, I don't like it when you...
- Okay, okay.

110
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:22,716
I just hate the thought of you being
sealed up in this place when I'm not here.

111
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,635
- [pumping sphygmomanometer bulb]
- Now shut up, I'm trying to...

112
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,101
- [releases pressure]
- [air hissing]

113
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,146
- What?
- Hush.

114
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,485
Tell me what you felt.

115
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,947
Pain, in my chest. Hard to breathe.

116
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,116
I couldn't intake air.

117
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,452
[velcro rips]

118
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,955
- How are you sleeping?
- I'm not, really.

119
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,418
Lean forward.

120
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,172
[sighs]

121
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,381
[Charlie wheezes]

122
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,594
You're wheezing.

123
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,596
I always wheeze, Liz.

124
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,724
You're wheezing more. Deep breath.

125
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,393
[breathes deeply with difficulty]

126
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,731
- That hurt?
- What was my blood pressure?

127
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,069
238 over 134.

128
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,368
[chuckling] Oh.

129
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,661
Yeah. "Oh."

130
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,873
[sighs] Hey, could you...

131
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,793
I haven't been to the bathroom all day,
I'm ready to explode.

132
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,139
[grunts]

133
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,518
[exhales deeply]

134
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,988
- [draws curtain]
- [light switch clicks]

135
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,371
[trash can lid closes]

136
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,664
[sighs]

137
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,500
- [Charlie grunts]
- [Liz] You need help in there?

138
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,878
[Charlie] No, I'm fine. Sorry. [groans]

139
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,422
What are you sorry about?

140
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,800
I'm sorry. I don't know. Just sorry.

141
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,177
- [missionary] I should go.
- [Liz] Thank you.

142
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:35,140
You must be from New Life.
You know Doug, from the church council?

143
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,976
Yeah, I think so?

144
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,854
I'm not entirely sure.
I'm sort of new here, so...

145
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,105
He's my dad.

146
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,317
Doug and Cindy adopted me
when I was a baby.

147
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:49,612
Oh, that's great.
I've never seen you there before, but,

148
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,741
- again I'm sort of new, so...
- [sighs] Fucking hate New Life.

149
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,909
- Oh.
- My dad forced me to go when I was a kid.

150
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:58,997
It was awful, growing up
with all that "end times" bullshit.

151
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,126
[sighs] You're young.

152
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,379
Why the hell would you want to believe
that the world is about to end?

153
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:11,301
I believe that when Christ returns,
it's gonna be beautiful.

154
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,972
Look, you can go.

155
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:21,770
I know Charlie appreciates the help,
but if you're here to convert him...

156
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,522
Oh, we don't convert,
our message is a message of hope

157
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,192
- for people of all...
- People of all faiths.

158
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:31,071
I know. You're sweet.
[clicks lighter] But...

159
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:34,657
[sighs]

160
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,993
Believe me, he doesn't want
to hear about New Life.

161
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,204
Why?

162
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,082
Because it's caused him a lot of pain.

163
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:43,833
How?

164
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:48,630
It killed his boyfriend.

165
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,008
[toilet flushes]

166
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,638
- You're saying the church...
- [sighs]

167
00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:01,059
Killed Charlie's boyfriend, yes.

168
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:05,271
And I should add that New Life
has caused me a lot of pain in my life.

169
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:10,318
So, we don't need you coming over here,
especially not now, not this week.

170
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,821
Why?

171
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,948
Because he probably
won't be here next week.

172
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,200
Where's he going?

173
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,494
I'm sorry you had to come over, Liz.

174
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,122
No, it's okay.

175
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,791
I'm sorry that I always think I'm dying.

176
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:28,002
Charlie, your blood pressure
is 238 over 134.

177
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,004
- I'm sorry.
- Go to the hospital.

178
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,965
- I'm sorry.
- Stop saying you're sorry.

179
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,217
- Go to the hospital.
- [sighs]

180
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,885
You have congestive heart failure.

181
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,930
If you don't go to the hospital,
you'll be dead by the weekend.

182
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,933
[sternly] You will die.

183
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,396
Well, then, I better get to work
because I have a lot of essays this week.

184
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,356
God damn it!

185
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,651
I know. I'm sorry,
I'm an awful person. I know.

186
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,822
I'm sorry. [grunts, pants]

187
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,991
Did you still want to hear about
Christ's message of love and salvation?

188
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,368
- No, he does not!
- [missionary] Okay. Okay.

189
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,120
I'll go.

190
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,250
I still don't understand
why you had me read that essay to you.

191
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,669
It's a really good essay.

192
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,882
- [Liz] Goodbye.
- [door closes]

193
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,636
Charlie, you have to go to the hospital.
This has gone way too far.

194
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,015
And rack up tens of thousands
of dollars in hospital bills

195
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,475
I'll never be able to pay back, ever.

196
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,477
This affects me too, you know?

197
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,732
You're my friend.

198
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,234
I know.

199
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:37,280
- I'm sorry.
- You say you're sorry one more time,

200
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,490
I will shove a knife right into you,
I swear to God!

201
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:41,284
Go ahead. What's it gonna do?

202
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,703
My internal organs
are two feet in, at least.

203
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,625
[laughing]

204
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,378
[coughs, whimpers playfully]

205
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,471
I've been telling you this would happen.

206
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,223
[sighs] I know.

207
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,727
- Haven't I been telling you?
- You have.

208
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,906
[newscaster 1 on TV] <i>...a new
GOP presidential primary.</i>

209
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,659
<i>However, they say absentee ballots
are the lowest they've seen</i>

210
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,369
<i>- in recent history.</i>
- [newscaster 2] <i>That's not good.</i>

211
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,329
[newscaster 3] <i>No, it's not.
Get out and vote tomorrow.</i>

212
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,373
<i>If you want to vote
in the Republican primary.</i>

213
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,667
<i>Our current polls do show,
among Republicans,</i>

214
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,961
<i>- 30% favor Trump...</i>
- Liz.

215
00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,712
[newscaster 3] <i>...Senator Ted Cruz,</i>

216
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:38,007
<i>17% would vote
for Florida senator Marco Rubio,</i>

217
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,802
<i>and 5% for Ohio governor John Kasich.</i>

218
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,011
Liz.

219
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,638
[newscaster 3] <i>...for someone else,
if they could.</i>

220
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,765
<i>Below a percent that just don't know.</i>

221
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,517
[newscaster 1] <i>Meanwhile,
Vermont senator Bernie Sanders</i>

222
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,603
<i>is expected to win the Gem State
on the Democratic side...</i>

223
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:51,771
Please.

224
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,649
[newscaster 1 continues indistinctly]

225
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,258
Thank you.

226
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,563
[crunching]

227
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,949
[laughter on tv]

228
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,327
Oh, I've seen this one, it's good.

229
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,162
[indistinct TV chatter]

230
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,709
[rain pattering]

231
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,920
[indistinct TV chatter]

232
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,009
[Charlie chokes, coughs]

233
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,803
[coughing continues]

234
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,976
- [remote clicks]
- [TV switches off]

235
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,564
[breathes deeply]

236
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,156
[soft music playing]

237
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:42,548
"In the first part of his book,
the author,

238
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,135
calling himself Ishmael,

239
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:52,767
is in a small seaside town

240
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,561
and he is

241
00:14:57,355 --> 00:15:00,942
sharing a bed with a man

242
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,112
named Queequeg.

243
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:11,536
The author and Queequeg go to church,

244
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:17,250
and later, they set out on a ship
captained by the pirate named

245
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,419
Ahab,

246
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,714
who is missing a leg,

247
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,510
and very much wants to kill the whale

248
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,472
which is named Moby Dick,

249
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,641
and which is white.

250
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,602
In the course of the book,

251
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,064
the pirate Ahab encounters many hardships.

252
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:47,029
His entire life is set around
trying to kill a certain whale.

253
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,823
I think this is sad

254
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:49,866
[grunts]

255
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,286
Because the whale
doesn't have any emotions.

256
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,706
[grunts]

257
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,957
He's just

258
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,835
a poor, big animal.

259
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:07,925
And I feel bad for Ahab as well...

260
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,720
[grunts]

261
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:15,892
...because he thinks
that his life will be better

262
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,395
if he can just kill this whale.

263
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:26,319
But in reality, [grunts]

264
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,614
it won't help him at all.

265
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:34,410
This book made me think

266
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,621
about my own life.

267
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,168
This book made me think
about my own life.

268
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,670
[ocean waves crashing]

269
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:49,383
[softly] This book made me think
about my own life."

270
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:39,976
[sighs]

271
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:47,817
[exhales]

272
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,862
[typing]

273
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,208
[typing]

274
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:19,765
[sighs]

275
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,685
[typing]

276
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:36,949
[exhales]

277
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,471
[wrapper crinkling]

278
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,266
[bird chirping]

279
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,187
[chirping]

280
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,911
[sighs heavily]

281
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,897
[line rings]

282
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,150
- [clears throat]
- [line connects]

283
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:31,897
[knock at door]

284
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,152
[chuckles quietly]

285
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,779
Does this mean now I'm gonna get fat?

286
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:42,658
[grunts] No, it doesn't.

287
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,035
I was always big.

288
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,328
I just...

289
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,539
I let it get out of control.

290
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,333
[Charlie exhales]

291
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:56,797
So, was your mom okay
with you coming over here?

292
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:58,799
I didn't tell her.

293
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,262
[Charlie] It's really good to see you.

294
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,557
You look beautiful.

295
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:10,686
So, how's school?

296
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,315
- You're a senior, right?
- You actually care?

297
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,776
Well, of course I care.

298
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:19,820
I pester your mom for information
as often as she'll give it to me.

299
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:23,073
[Charlie exhales]

300
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:26,869
Um...

301
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:30,664
So... [grunts]

302
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:33,209
Why are you...
I mean, don't you have school?

303
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,877
Got suspended this morning.

304
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:36,504
Oh.

305
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,297
Why?

306
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,800
I posted something
about my stupid bitch lab partner

307
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:43,135
that the vice principal said
was "vaguely threatening."

308
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,679
[grunts]

309
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:47,932
You don't like school?

310
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:49,391
Only idiots like high school.

311
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,270
But you're on track to graduate, right?

312
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,607
Counselor says I might not.

313
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,568
I'm not worried.

314
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:01,987
I'm a smart person.

315
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:06,867
I never forget anything.
High school is just bullshit.

316
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:09,829
But, Ellie, it's important.
If you don't graduate, then...

317
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,580
Are you actually trying
to parent me right now?

318
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,667
No, I'm... Sorry.

319
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:15,835
I just...

320
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:18,712
I just thought that maybe
we could spend some time with each other.

321
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:22,716
I'm not spending time with you.
You're disgusting.

322
00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:31,225
Well, I'm a lot bigger than I was
since last time you saw me.

323
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:33,227
[Ellie] No, I'm not talking
about what you look like.

324
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:35,604
You'd be disgusting
even if you weren't this fat.

325
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:40,526
You'd still be that piece-of-shit dad
who walked out on me when I was eight.

326
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:43,571
All because he wanted to fuck
one of his students.

327
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:44,738
Can I have one of these?

328
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:47,157
Yeah.

329
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:52,329
Look, it's-it's been a long time.

330
00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:56,792
I just thought that maybe
we can get to know each other.

331
00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,670
I don't even know why I'm here.

332
00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:01,672
I can pay you.

333
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,304
You want to pay me to spend time with you?

334
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:10,222
And I can help you with your work.

335
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:12,224
It's what I do for my job.

336
00:23:13,684 --> 00:23:15,311
I can help you pass your classes.

337
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,314
- You teach online?
- Yes.

338
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:21,984
- Your students know what you look like?
- I keep the camera shut off.

339
00:23:22,693 --> 00:23:24,069
Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

340
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:34,538
My counselor says that if I show
a lot of improvement in one subject,

341
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:36,248
I might be able to graduate.

342
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:40,169
You can rewrite these essays for English.
They have to be really good, though.

343
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,551
Well, look, um, I don't know
if I should write them for you,

344
00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:49,970
- but I can work with you on them.
- How much can you pay me?

345
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:53,599
Everything I have.
All the money I have in the bank.

346
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:54,934
How much?

347
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:59,980
$120,000? Something like that.
I'd have to check.

348
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:02,566
I never go out.

349
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:06,403
All I pay for is food, uh, rent, Internet.

350
00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,822
And I work all the time.

351
00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:11,033
And you'd give all of it to me?

352
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:13,702
Not to my mom, to me?

353
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,705
Yes.

354
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:21,126
Just... don't tell your mom, all right?

355
00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:27,383
And maybe you could do
some writing just for me.

356
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:28,676
Why?

357
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:30,803
Because you're a smart person.

358
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:34,473
And I bet you'd make a strong writer.

359
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:39,603
Plus, I'm a teacher. I want to make sure
you're getting something out of this.

360
00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:45,359
I don't even understand you.

361
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:57,329
Stand up and walk over to me.

362
00:24:58,622 --> 00:25:00,708
- What?
- Come over here.

363
00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:01,959
Walk toward me.

364
00:25:05,379 --> 00:25:07,381
No. No. Without this thing.

365
00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:10,884
Stand up and walk over here.

366
00:25:13,095 --> 00:25:14,471
- Ellie, I can't really...
- Shut up!

367
00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:17,558
Come over here.

368
00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:24,523
[Charlie sighs]

369
00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:31,947
[exhales heavily]

370
00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:33,323
[breathes deeply]

371
00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:41,540
[grunts with exertion]

372
00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:42,833
[groans]

373
00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:44,460
[panting]

374
00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:50,924
[huffing]

375
00:25:51,008 --> 00:25:53,177
[grunting]

376
00:25:58,474 --> 00:25:59,600
[Charlie yells]

377
00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:01,935
[groaning loudly]

378
00:26:02,936 --> 00:26:04,980
[groaning in pain]

379
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:11,320
[panting]

380
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,248
[whispering] "...celebrate my soul.

381
00:26:24,041 --> 00:26:25,626
Sell my soul."

382
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:26,919
[knock at door]

383
00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:28,670
[man] Gambino's!

384
00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:30,714
Yeah, you can, um...

385
00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:33,634
I put a $20 in the mailbox.

386
00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:35,761
[man] Sure.

387
00:26:39,473 --> 00:26:41,850
You can just leave it on the...

388
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:44,311
[man] Yeah, I, uh... I remember.

389
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:47,606
Everything okay in there?

390
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,320
Yeah.

391
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:56,115
[man] You sure?

392
00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:57,866
Yeah.

393
00:26:58,659 --> 00:26:59,743
I'm fine.

394
00:27:02,246 --> 00:27:03,288
Thank you.

395
00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:06,250
[metal clacks]

396
00:27:07,084 --> 00:27:08,710
[footsteps]

397
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:13,215
[chuckles lightly]

398
00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:21,932
[car engine starts]

399
00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:48,625
- Breathe slowly.
- [device beeps]

400
00:27:48,709 --> 00:27:50,043
[inhales]

401
00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:51,128
Relax.

402
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:52,504
- [exhales]
- [device beeps]

403
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:55,090
It measures perspiration.
It's an indicator of stress.

404
00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:58,218
It's about establishing a relationship
between your brain and your body.

405
00:27:58,302 --> 00:28:00,888
If you know how to make yourself calm,
then your blood pressure will...

406
00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:02,931
- [device beeps]
- Here.

407
00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:04,975
I don't need a little machine to tell me

408
00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:07,311
to take a few deep breaths
and stop sweating.

409
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:09,813
Well, apparently, you fucking do.

410
00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:12,524
- [device beeps]
- Take another deep breath.

411
00:28:12,608 --> 00:28:15,152
- [breathes deeply]
- [device beeps]

412
00:28:15,235 --> 00:28:16,403
Thank you.

413
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:19,865
[Charlie exhales deeply]

414
00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:21,658
[Liz sighs]

415
00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:25,329
We're just gonna try
some different methods, or whatever.

416
00:28:26,163 --> 00:28:30,042
If you refuse to go to the hospital,
then you'll...

417
00:28:31,001 --> 00:28:32,085
I don't know.

418
00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:41,261
Where'd this come from?

419
00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:42,679
[device continues beeping]

420
00:28:46,350 --> 00:28:47,392
Hey.

421
00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:51,772
Was she here?

422
00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:56,985
No, I don't like this.

423
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,612
This isn't a good idea.

424
00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:01,240
You know you're not supposed
to be around her.

425
00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:03,742
Does her mom know about this?

426
00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:05,202
I just wanted to see her.

427
00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:07,287
Mary has kept her from me all this time.

428
00:29:07,371 --> 00:29:09,873
Why do you suddenly need
to see her so bad, why now?

429
00:29:09,957 --> 00:29:10,958
Liz.

430
00:29:14,962 --> 00:29:16,129
[Liz sighs]

431
00:29:18,215 --> 00:29:20,092
Why the hell do you have
her homework, anyway?

432
00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:24,429
Look, I didn't plan for this.

433
00:29:24,513 --> 00:29:28,850
She needs some help at school,
so I'm gonna help her with a few essays.

434
00:29:28,934 --> 00:29:31,770
[Liz scoffs] You haven't seen her
since she was eight years old,

435
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:34,481
and you're gonna reconnect with her
by doing her homework for her?

436
00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:36,191
- It's fine.
- It's not fine.

437
00:29:38,819 --> 00:29:41,113
She shouldn't be around you
when you're like this.

438
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:44,741
What if something happens,
what if you need help?

439
00:29:44,825 --> 00:29:47,577
- [device beeping rapidly]
- Charlie, calm down.

440
00:29:48,412 --> 00:29:50,080
- Hey. No.
- [beeping stops]

441
00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:54,084
Okay. Forget it, then.

442
00:29:55,377 --> 00:29:57,504
- I'm worried about her.
- Why?

443
00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:01,675
Oh, you're spying on her now?

444
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:05,137
It doesn't look like she has any friends.

445
00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:11,018
I don't think this is...

446
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:17,566
[Charlie scoffs] Come on, a dead dog?

447
00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:27,701
I'm worried that she's forgotten
what an amazing person she is.

448
00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:33,707
She's just a teenager.

449
00:30:34,374 --> 00:30:36,418
Everyone is insane
when they're a teenager.

450
00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:39,671
When I was her age,
when my dad would really piss me off...

451
00:30:40,547 --> 00:30:43,091
I'm just lucky I didn't get arrested,
that's all I'll say.

452
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:47,679
Point is,

453
00:30:49,598 --> 00:30:51,933
bringing her over here is a bad idea.

454
00:30:52,017 --> 00:30:54,144
You have enough to deal with
right now, you hear me?

455
00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:57,773
Do not bring her over here again.

456
00:30:57,856 --> 00:30:58,857
Okay.

457
00:31:00,609 --> 00:31:01,610
Okay.

458
00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:09,076
It's not like she's alone, you know.
She has her mom.

459
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,876
[Liz] Ugh, shit. I have to go soon.

460
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,129
- I hate these night shifts.
- [utensils clacking]

461
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:25,509
It's just a steady parade
of dumb, drunk college kids.

462
00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:27,302
[faucet runs]

463
00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:29,221
[laughs] Did I tell you about this girl

464
00:31:29,304 --> 00:31:31,264
- from a few nights ago?
- [gags]

465
00:31:31,348 --> 00:31:34,101
The puke was bright purple, I swear.

466
00:31:34,184 --> 00:31:36,395
- [choking]
- [Liz laughing]

467
00:31:36,478 --> 00:31:37,729
I mean, what is that?

468
00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:40,482
Why can't these kids
just drink beer, you know?

469
00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:43,944
- Are you choking?
- [continues choking]

470
00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:46,696
Oh, God! Okay, lean on that arm.

471
00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:48,031
Lean on that arm!

472
00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:50,409
Okay, I need you to rock with me.

473
00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:53,245
- [grunts]
- [chokes]

474
00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:54,746
- [grunts]
- [gasps]

475
00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:58,875
- [yells]
- [coughs, wheezes]

476
00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:01,795
[coughing, wheezing]

477
00:32:01,878 --> 00:32:03,880
[gasping]

478
00:32:04,798 --> 00:32:07,426
I'm okay. [gasps]

479
00:32:07,509 --> 00:32:08,927
I'm okay.

480
00:32:09,010 --> 00:32:10,554
[gasps]

481
00:32:11,346 --> 00:32:14,641
[shouts] God damn it, Charlie,
what is wrong with you?

482
00:32:14,724 --> 00:32:16,977
[hits] Chew your food
like a normal human being!

483
00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:19,062
You could have just died
right in front of me!

484
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:20,147
I'm sorry.

485
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:24,401
[Charlie whimpers and sobs]

486
00:32:26,153 --> 00:32:27,571
I'm sorry, Liz.

487
00:32:39,332 --> 00:32:40,459
[object clacks]

488
00:32:47,591 --> 00:32:49,092
[Liz exhales]

489
00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:56,600
It's okay.

490
00:33:20,582 --> 00:33:22,834
[Charlie] <i>I read through some of the posts</i>

491
00:33:22,918 --> 00:33:25,712
<i>in the class discussion forum
this morning.</i>

492
00:33:25,795 --> 00:33:30,675
<i>In particular,
a post about crafting a good thesis,</i>

493
00:33:30,759 --> 00:33:34,679
<i>and I quote,
"Just pick a sentence from the reading</i>

494
00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:37,057
<i>and say, 'It's good, ' or some shit."</i>

495
00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:40,185
<i>Listen, at this point in the course,</i>

496
00:33:40,268 --> 00:33:43,271
I have given you all that I can,

497
00:33:43,355 --> 00:33:48,818
<i>in terms of structure, building a thesis,
paragraph organization.</i>

498
00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:52,405
But if all of that isn't built

499
00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:55,367
on your own original ideas
and truthful analysis,

500
00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:57,035
it doesn't mean anything.

501
00:33:58,245 --> 00:34:00,664
Think about that as you write and revise.

502
00:34:00,747 --> 00:34:03,583
Think about the truth of your argument.

503
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:09,297
I know this may sound silly,
but it's important.

504
00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:13,260
Promise, it's important.

505
00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:18,557
[bird chirping]

506
00:34:32,529 --> 00:34:34,573
[breathing heavily]

507
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:44,666
[straining]

508
00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:46,626
[key clatters]

509
00:34:53,550 --> 00:34:56,469
[grunting softly]

510
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,146
[key clacks]

511
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:09,149
[claw clicks]

512
00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:19,576
[muttering indistinctly]

513
00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:23,663
[sighs]

514
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,965
This is... [exhales]

515
00:35:34,049 --> 00:35:37,093
You say that Walt Whitman
wrote <i>Song for Myself.</i>

516
00:35:37,177 --> 00:35:38,595
Yeah?

517
00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:40,472
It's called <i>Song of Myself.</i>

518
00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:43,308
My title's better.

519
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:46,519
Yeah.

520
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,523
Well... Okay, I'll just change it.

521
00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:56,655
"The poem <i>Song of Myself</i>
is in a book called <i>Leaves of Grass.</i>

522
00:35:56,738 --> 00:36:00,617
It was written by Walt Whitman
and was published in 1855.

523
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:02,494
He paid for the first
publication himself."

524
00:36:02,577 --> 00:36:05,622
You don't have to read it out loud.
Just rewrite it.

525
00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:09,084
You're supposed to analyze the poem.
This is just a list of facts.

526
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:11,419
Yup. Thank you, Wikipedia.

527
00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:14,631
[smacks lips]

528
00:36:14,714 --> 00:36:16,466
You know, it's really an amazing poem.

529
00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:20,220
Whitman uses the metaphor of "I"
not to refer to himself,

530
00:36:20,303 --> 00:36:26,351
but to explode the very definition of self
in favor of a more all-encompassing...

531
00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:28,228
I really, really don't care.

532
00:36:32,399 --> 00:36:34,776
You know, I think you might like it
if you actually read it.

533
00:36:35,819 --> 00:36:38,238
You're just like my teachers.

534
00:36:38,321 --> 00:36:40,865
You think just because I'm not losing
my shit over the poem,

535
00:36:40,949 --> 00:36:42,117
it's because I didn't read it.

536
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,368
I did read it.

537
00:36:43,451 --> 00:36:45,995
It's overwritten, and dumb,
and repetitive.

538
00:36:46,079 --> 00:36:48,623
And even though he thinks
his metaphor of "I" is deep,

539
00:36:48,707 --> 00:36:50,458
it's actually just a bunch of bullshit.

540
00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:55,338
And, in reality, he's just some worthless
19th century faggot.

541
00:36:57,173 --> 00:36:58,925
That's an interesting perspective.

542
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:01,803
It would make for an interesting essay.

543
00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:07,058
Just write that thing about exploding
the definition of self.

544
00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:08,518
My English teacher will love it.

545
00:37:13,106 --> 00:37:14,983
[Charlie sighs]

546
00:37:16,943 --> 00:37:19,863
- So, how's your mom doing?
- Oh, my God.

547
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:23,825
Look, if you're not gonna write
these essays for me, then...

548
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:27,495
Ellie, I don't need you here
to write these essays for you.

549
00:37:27,579 --> 00:37:29,205
If you want to go, you can go.

550
00:37:30,206 --> 00:37:31,791
You can still have the money.

551
00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:36,796
- I thought you wanted to get to know me.
- I do,

552
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,506
but I don't want to force you to be here.

553
00:37:39,883 --> 00:37:41,092
It's up to you.

554
00:37:44,971 --> 00:37:46,097
[bag thuds]

555
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:48,391
She's fine.

556
00:37:49,392 --> 00:37:50,602
Mom. I guess.

557
00:37:51,686 --> 00:37:54,105
- She happy?
- When she drinks.

558
00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:59,486
You guys still live in that duplex
over on Orchard?

559
00:37:59,569 --> 00:38:01,279
You don't even know where we live?

560
00:38:03,656 --> 00:38:04,824
You don't stay in touch with Mom?

561
00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:08,077
Yeah, I-I check in with her
as often as she lets me.

562
00:38:08,161 --> 00:38:10,622
She really only tells me things about you.

563
00:38:10,705 --> 00:38:11,998
Why?

564
00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:13,917
Because that's all I want to know about.

565
00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:22,801
When I was 11,
we moved to the other side of town,

566
00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:25,220
near the Walmart.

567
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:26,554
Is your mother

568
00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:29,516
- with anyone right now?
- No.

569
00:38:30,266 --> 00:38:31,684
Why, you interested?

570
00:38:31,768 --> 00:38:34,729
[chuckles] No, of course not.

571
00:38:42,487 --> 00:38:45,240
- Why'd you gain all that weight?
- [inhales deeply] I don't...

572
00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:47,742
If you're gonna interrogate me,
I'm gonna do the same thing.

573
00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:51,621
Why'd you gain all that weight?

574
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:59,546
Someone close to me passed away, and it...

575
00:38:59,629 --> 00:39:02,006
It had an effect on me.

576
00:39:02,090 --> 00:39:03,091
Your boyfriend.

577
00:39:04,175 --> 00:39:06,719
- My partner.
- Your student.

578
00:39:06,803 --> 00:39:08,930
He wasn't that young.
It was a night school course.

579
00:39:09,013 --> 00:39:10,265
[Ellie] Oh, I remember him.

580
00:39:11,641 --> 00:39:15,061
You had him over for dinner once
when Mom was in Montana, visiting Grandma.

581
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:17,647
You made steaks.

582
00:39:18,565 --> 00:39:19,649
The good kind.

583
00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:22,735
Better meal than you ever made
for me or Mom.

584
00:39:22,819 --> 00:39:25,655
I remember hearing you two talk
after I went to bed.

585
00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:30,618
How do you remember all that?

586
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:33,079
I told you, I never forget anything.

587
00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:44,048
How'd he die?

588
00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,969
I... I don't...

589
00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:51,097
I'm... I really don't want to talk
about that right now,

590
00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:53,558
if that's all right with you.

591
00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:00,648
[cell phone keys clacking]

592
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:07,322
I'll write these essays for you.

593
00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:12,619
I want you to do some writing,
just for me.

594
00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:14,287
I hate writing essays.

595
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:18,333
Just think about the poem for a while,
and write something.

596
00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:24,130
Be honest. Tell me what you really think.

597
00:40:24,964 --> 00:40:26,633
You want me to write what I really think?

598
00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:29,385
I'll be right back.

599
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:33,056
Just write whatever you want.

600
00:40:35,224 --> 00:40:38,144
[Charlie groaning with exertion]

601
00:40:40,813 --> 00:40:42,440
[sighs heavily]

602
00:40:43,608 --> 00:40:45,151
[continues groaning]

603
00:40:45,234 --> 00:40:46,569
[breathing heavily]

604
00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:23,189
[water running]

605
00:41:25,608 --> 00:41:28,403
[suppressed sobbing]

606
00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:30,822
[muffled sobbing]

607
00:41:30,905 --> 00:41:32,740
[water continues running]

608
00:41:34,117 --> 00:41:35,243
Are you okay?

609
00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:38,204
Unless you're dying,
there's no way I'm going in there.

610
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:39,664
[sniffles]

611
00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:42,291
[exhales] Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.

612
00:41:49,048 --> 00:41:50,550
[bird wings flapping]

613
00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:00,101
[knock at door]

614
00:42:01,394 --> 00:42:03,062
- [water running]
- [knocking continues]

615
00:42:06,816 --> 00:42:10,403
Hi. I was looking for Charlie?

616
00:42:10,486 --> 00:42:12,030
He's in the bathroom.

617
00:42:12,113 --> 00:42:13,656
Oh, I can come back.

618
00:42:19,078 --> 00:42:22,290
- Are you his friend, or...
- I'm his daughter.

619
00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:24,959
- Oh.
- Are you surprised?

620
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:27,670
- Yeah, I guess.
- What's more surprising?

621
00:42:27,754 --> 00:42:30,506
That a gay guy has a daughter,
or that someone actually found his penis?

622
00:42:33,301 --> 00:42:35,887
I'm kidding. Jesus.

623
00:42:37,388 --> 00:42:41,476
Um... Charlie was interested
in hearing more about my church,

624
00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:43,561
- and I brought some literature...
- Are you Mormon?

625
00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:44,687
No, I'm from New Life.

626
00:42:44,771 --> 00:42:47,523
Oh. That end times cult thing.

627
00:42:47,607 --> 00:42:49,442
- [juice pouring]
- It's not a cult.

628
00:42:49,525 --> 00:42:51,360
Tell you one thing
that I like about religion.

629
00:42:51,444 --> 00:42:54,906
What I like about religion is that
it assumes that everyone is an idiot

630
00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:56,908
and that they're all incapable
of saving themselves.

631
00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:58,618
I think they got something right
with that.

632
00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:01,496
- I don't think like that...
- What I don't like about religion

633
00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:04,248
is that when people
accept Jesus or whatever,

634
00:43:04,332 --> 00:43:07,085
they suddenly think that they're better
than everyone else.

635
00:43:07,168 --> 00:43:09,087
By accepting the fact
that they're stupid sinners,

636
00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:12,840
somehow they've become better,
and they turn into assholes.

637
00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:17,428
I don't really know what to say.
I have some pamphlets

638
00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:19,055
- that I think would...
- [camera clicks]

639
00:43:19,138 --> 00:43:21,724
- Why did you just do that?
- Are you coming back tomorrow?

640
00:43:21,808 --> 00:43:23,267
- I'm not sure.
- Come back tomorrow.

641
00:43:23,351 --> 00:43:24,936
I'll be here around the same time.

642
00:43:25,019 --> 00:43:26,938
I'm sorry, what's happening?

643
00:43:27,605 --> 00:43:28,773
[camera clicks]

644
00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:30,691
Oh!

645
00:43:30,775 --> 00:43:33,611
Hi. I was just coming over
to share these pamphlets with you.

646
00:43:33,694 --> 00:43:35,238
You'll have those done by tomorrow?

647
00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:37,031
Sure.

648
00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:40,493
- Five-page minimum.
- It'll be good, I promise.

649
00:43:43,579 --> 00:43:45,414
- I'm Ellie.
- Thomas.

650
00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:47,333
[breathes heavily]

651
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:50,586
[slams door shut]

652
00:43:54,173 --> 00:43:55,383
So...

653
00:43:55,466 --> 00:43:57,844
Christ's return has been promised
for centuries.

654
00:43:57,927 --> 00:44:00,680
But there are a lot of clues in Scripture
that suggest it's imminent.

655
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:03,182
So, that means we don't have time
to deny the Gospel, we don't have...

656
00:44:03,266 --> 00:44:05,393
Do you really think
that the world's gonna end soon?

657
00:44:06,435 --> 00:44:08,980
Well, the Bible says that no one
shall know the day or the hour,

658
00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:12,441
but, yeah, I think we're probably
living in end times.

659
00:44:12,525 --> 00:44:13,860
And that doesn't bother you?

660
00:44:13,943 --> 00:44:17,530
No. It's the idea that a better world
is coming to replace this one.

661
00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:21,159
That everything terrible
about this country, this planet,

662
00:44:21,242 --> 00:44:25,204
is gonna be wiped clean and replaced
with something pure and holy, and...

663
00:44:25,288 --> 00:44:29,667
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude,
but I know all this.

664
00:44:29,750 --> 00:44:30,960
What do you mean?

665
00:44:31,043 --> 00:44:36,215
I have probably read everything
New Life Church has ever written.

666
00:44:36,299 --> 00:44:39,302
Probably every pamphlet
they've ever published.

667
00:44:39,385 --> 00:44:43,431
Wow, that's great and everything,
but these tracts are just the beginning.

668
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:44,932
There's so much more in the Bible

669
00:44:45,016 --> 00:44:46,100
- that we can...
- I read the Bible.

670
00:44:47,059 --> 00:44:51,063
- Really?
- Sure. Couple times.

671
00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:53,357
Did you like it?

672
00:44:53,441 --> 00:44:54,901
I thought it was devastating.

673
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:58,613
God creates us, expels us from paradise.

674
00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:01,532
We wander around for thousands of years
killing each other,

675
00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:04,785
before He comes back
and saves 144,000 of us.

676
00:45:04,869 --> 00:45:08,372
Meanwhile, seven-and-a-half billion of us
fall into hell.

677
00:45:10,249 --> 00:45:11,250
Yeah.

678
00:45:12,084 --> 00:45:14,545
That's not really
how I interpret it, but...

679
00:45:15,922 --> 00:45:17,882
Charlie, you have to understand,

680
00:45:18,758 --> 00:45:20,301
God hasn't turned His back on you.

681
00:45:21,344 --> 00:45:24,055
If you accept Him,
He'll release you from this.

682
00:45:24,138 --> 00:45:27,808
He'll take your soul out of this body
and give you a brand-new body.

683
00:45:27,892 --> 00:45:29,977
One made of pure light.
I mean, don't you want that?

684
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:32,480
I'm not interested in being saved.

685
00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:36,984
I appreciate what you did
the other day, but you can go.

686
00:45:37,068 --> 00:45:38,653
This doesn't sound like something that I...

687
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,905
Look, I really think
that God brought me here for a reason.

688
00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:43,366
There's a reason
why I knocked on your door

689
00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:45,368
right when you needed someone the most.

690
00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:48,412
Isn't there any way I can help?

691
00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:49,872
I mean, that's the entire reason

692
00:45:49,956 --> 00:45:51,666
why I became a missionary
in the first place, right?

693
00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:53,542
There's something you can do for me.

694
00:45:57,588 --> 00:45:59,882
- What?
- Um, nothing, I just...

695
00:46:00,633 --> 00:46:04,845
I hope you know
I wasn't talking about, um...

696
00:46:05,513 --> 00:46:07,598
- What?
- I'm not...

697
00:46:07,682 --> 00:46:09,642
- Oh, my God.
- I'm... I'm sorry. I just...

698
00:46:09,725 --> 00:46:10,977
- No.
- With what you were watching

699
00:46:11,060 --> 00:46:14,272
- the first time I came in here, I just...
- [chuckles] I am not attracted to you.

700
00:46:14,355 --> 00:46:17,483
Please, you gotta believe me when I say
I'm not attracted to you.

701
00:46:17,566 --> 00:46:19,235
You're a fetus.

702
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:22,613
I'm sorry.

703
00:46:24,073 --> 00:46:25,533
[sighs]

704
00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:31,706
Thomas, tell me the truth.

705
00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:35,835
You find me disgusting?

706
00:46:38,838 --> 00:46:40,047
No.

707
00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:44,093
I just want to help.

708
00:46:44,176 --> 00:46:46,929
Please, just let me help.

709
00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:57,356
[grunts softly]

710
00:46:58,232 --> 00:47:00,901
Thank you. That's very helpful.

711
00:47:07,283 --> 00:47:08,909
What happened to your... Sorry.

712
00:47:08,993 --> 00:47:12,330
Your friend, Liz,
she said that your boyfriend, um,

713
00:47:12,413 --> 00:47:14,373
- he used to go to New Life?
- [door opens]

714
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:18,169
- [Liz] Charlie?
- Yeah.

715
00:47:19,003 --> 00:47:20,254
I got you this.

716
00:47:20,921 --> 00:47:22,590
I did some asking around, and...

717
00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:26,260
What the fuck is he doing here?

718
00:47:26,344 --> 00:47:29,555
He's just helping me with something.
Take it easy, Liz.

719
00:47:29,638 --> 00:47:31,974
Okay, well, you can go now.

720
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:33,517
Liz.

721
00:47:34,477 --> 00:47:35,811
Go home!

722
00:47:36,854 --> 00:47:38,439
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Leave it.

723
00:47:38,522 --> 00:47:40,441
- [Charlie grunts]
- I said, leave it!

724
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:42,693
[Charlie] Liz, would you stop?

725
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:47,698
Actually, stay. We'll have a little chat.

726
00:47:51,619 --> 00:47:52,620
What's this?

727
00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:55,206
The fuck does it look like?

728
00:47:57,583 --> 00:47:58,876
It's a fat-guy wheelchair.

729
00:47:59,668 --> 00:48:01,379
And why do I need a wheelchair?

730
00:48:01,462 --> 00:48:03,881
I was talking to one of the ER doctors,

731
00:48:04,757 --> 00:48:07,968
he said moderate activity
would be a good idea.

732
00:48:08,052 --> 00:48:09,678
Sense of independence might help you out.

733
00:48:09,762 --> 00:48:11,013
And what did you pay for this thing?

734
00:48:11,097 --> 00:48:13,224
Nothing. We ordered it for a patient
a few months ago.

735
00:48:13,307 --> 00:48:15,518
- It's just been sitting around.
- What happened to the patient?

736
00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:19,897
Just try it out. Please.

737
00:48:21,023 --> 00:48:22,066
[sighs]

738
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,735
[grunting]

739
00:48:27,613 --> 00:48:29,281
[exhales sharply]

740
00:48:30,241 --> 00:48:33,953
Beep. Beep. Beep.

741
00:48:35,621 --> 00:48:38,499
[laughing]

742
00:48:39,583 --> 00:48:41,335
- [Charlie] Can I sit?
- I gotcha.

743
00:48:42,420 --> 00:48:44,505
[Charlie groaning]

744
00:48:46,966 --> 00:48:48,092
[chuckles]

745
00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:51,470
- Good?
- Yeah, actually, this is really nice.

746
00:48:53,931 --> 00:48:55,266
Yeah.

747
00:48:55,349 --> 00:48:57,017
Let me clear some space for you.

748
00:48:57,726 --> 00:48:59,061
[Charlie] Whee.

749
00:48:59,979 --> 00:49:00,980
Hello?

750
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:07,611
[Charlie] Look, no hands.

751
00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:11,449
Thank you, Liz. This is great, so great.

752
00:49:11,532 --> 00:49:14,660
- [chuckles] See? I told you.
- I know.

753
00:49:14,743 --> 00:49:16,412
- I should go.
- Ah-pap-pap.

754
00:49:16,495 --> 00:49:17,872
Not until we have our little chat.

755
00:49:19,039 --> 00:49:20,916
- What?
- [Liz grunts] Come on.

756
00:49:27,339 --> 00:49:28,466
Liz.

757
00:49:28,549 --> 00:49:30,176
Just gimme a minute with him.

758
00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:41,353
[dog barks in distance]

759
00:49:57,703 --> 00:49:58,746
Where are you from?

760
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:01,040
What?

761
00:50:01,123 --> 00:50:03,000
You said you've only been here
for a little while.

762
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:07,713
Where you from?

763
00:50:07,796 --> 00:50:11,050
Uh, Iowa. A town called Waterloo?

764
00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:12,885
You asking me?

765
00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:15,554
No. I'm from Waterloo.

766
00:50:15,638 --> 00:50:16,639
Okay.

767
00:50:16,722 --> 00:50:19,266
Your whole family
move out here for New Life?

768
00:50:20,267 --> 00:50:21,727
No, it's just me.

769
00:50:21,810 --> 00:50:24,021
I wanted to do some missionary work
before school.

770
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:25,731
[chuckles]

771
00:50:25,814 --> 00:50:27,900
You're from Iowa,

772
00:50:27,983 --> 00:50:30,861
and you came to Idaho
to do missionary work?

773
00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:33,239
Why aren't you in Africa or something?

774
00:50:33,322 --> 00:50:35,074
Idaho needs the Word
as much as anywhere else.

775
00:50:42,122 --> 00:50:45,251
Okay, listen. I know this is fun for you.

776
00:50:45,334 --> 00:50:48,212
You get to travel around,
act superior than everyone else,

777
00:50:48,295 --> 00:50:50,673
and eventually, you go home,

778
00:50:50,756 --> 00:50:52,925
get some boring job, have too many kids.

779
00:50:53,008 --> 00:50:54,009
It's God's plan.

780
00:50:54,093 --> 00:50:56,971
But there are other types of people.

781
00:50:57,054 --> 00:51:01,684
People like Charlie,
for whom this amazing plan doesn't fit.

782
00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:05,813
So, just stay away from him.

783
00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:07,398
He doesn't need this right now.

784
00:51:09,650 --> 00:51:11,151
I disagree.

785
00:51:11,235 --> 00:51:13,821
- [exhales] Excuse me?
- Sorry, I just, uh...

786
00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:15,406
He's dying.

787
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:18,409
He's refusing to go to the hospital.
What he needs is spiritual guidance.

788
00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:20,119
And you're gonna give him that?

789
00:51:20,202 --> 00:51:22,246
No. God will.

790
00:51:24,957 --> 00:51:26,041
I see.

791
00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:47,313
My big brother did some missionary work
for New Life.

792
00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:50,691
Went to South America.

793
00:51:51,358 --> 00:51:53,068
- Oh.
- Yeah.

794
00:51:53,694 --> 00:51:54,778
I was the black sheep.

795
00:51:54,862 --> 00:51:57,281
I refused to go to church
ever since I was 12.

796
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:00,284
Dad knew I was a lost cause, but...

797
00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:05,205
not my brother, he loved New Life.

798
00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:08,208
He wrote me a letter
a few months after he left,

799
00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:10,878
told me he was tired, and lonely,

800
00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:13,380
but he didn't want to come home
because he didn't want to get married.

801
00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:15,507
He didn't want to get married?

802
00:52:15,591 --> 00:52:16,925
Dad had set it all up.

803
00:52:17,009 --> 00:52:18,510
Pushed him into getting married

804
00:52:18,594 --> 00:52:21,805
to this girl from the church
he barely knew.

805
00:52:21,889 --> 00:52:24,266
But when he came back,
he met someone else.

806
00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:26,226
Fell in love, started a whole new life.

807
00:52:26,310 --> 00:52:30,189
And Dad kicked him out of the church.

808
00:52:30,272 --> 00:52:31,398
And the family.

809
00:52:33,233 --> 00:52:36,528
I thought he was gonna be able
to get over all that religious stuff,

810
00:52:36,612 --> 00:52:39,865
but it was like a cancer.

811
00:52:39,948 --> 00:52:42,368
He couldn't shake it.

812
00:52:42,451 --> 00:52:45,788
He just caved in on himself,
stopped sleeping, stopped eating.

813
00:52:45,871 --> 00:52:47,122
Lost a ton of weight.

814
00:52:48,624 --> 00:52:50,668
One night, he doesn't come home.

815
00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:55,381
Couple weeks later,
this guy is out jogging on a bike path

816
00:52:55,464 --> 00:52:58,008
near the river in Lewiston,
sees something washed up on shore,

817
00:52:58,092 --> 00:52:59,885
and that was Alan.

818
00:53:02,096 --> 00:53:04,431
The love of Charlie's life,
and my brother.

819
00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:08,018
- Oh.
- Yeah. "Oh."

820
00:53:08,102 --> 00:53:10,270
To this day, my dad won't admit it.

821
00:53:10,979 --> 00:53:13,649
Told the whole congregation
Alan's death was...

822
00:53:15,275 --> 00:53:17,569
just an unfortunate accident.

823
00:53:20,114 --> 00:53:23,075
Denying him to the end.

824
00:53:31,917 --> 00:53:34,837
Look, I know that you don't trust me.

825
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,339
And I know that I haven't known him
for very long,

826
00:53:37,423 --> 00:53:40,384
but I really think
that God brought me here,

827
00:53:40,467 --> 00:53:42,302
right when Charlie needs it the most.

828
00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:44,012
I just want him to be saved, that's all...

829
00:53:44,096 --> 00:53:45,347
You listen to me!

830
00:53:45,431 --> 00:53:46,974
He doesn't need saving!

831
00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,519
In a few days,
he's probably going to be dead,

832
00:53:50,602 --> 00:53:53,105
so what he needs
is for you to leave him alone.

833
00:53:53,188 --> 00:53:54,732
I'm the only one who can help him.

834
00:53:54,815 --> 00:53:56,150
- You understand me?
- [Charlie] Liz.

835
00:54:05,284 --> 00:54:06,535
[Liz sighs]

836
00:54:10,205 --> 00:54:12,875
[cutlery clacking]

837
00:54:18,714 --> 00:54:20,799
[wheezes softly]

838
00:54:22,718 --> 00:54:24,136
[TV turns on]

839
00:54:24,219 --> 00:54:27,222
You wanna watch some <i>Maury?</i>

840
00:54:28,515 --> 00:54:30,017
Sounds good, right?

841
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:32,936
[indistinct chatter on TV]

842
00:54:33,020 --> 00:54:36,648
Actually, I got another
night shift tonight. I better, uh...

843
00:54:36,732 --> 00:54:38,025
You good for the night?

844
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:42,446
[smacks lips] I'll leave the remote here.

845
00:54:47,451 --> 00:54:49,119
[door opens]

846
00:54:52,831 --> 00:54:53,874
[door closes]

847
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:57,294
[lock clicks]

848
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:20,192
[grunts softly]

849
00:55:22,653 --> 00:55:25,239
[light switch clicking]

850
00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:29,409
[sighs]

851
00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,417
[sighs]

852
00:55:43,423 --> 00:55:46,051
[sniffing]

853
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,013
[chuckles softly]

854
00:56:00,732 --> 00:56:01,942
[door shuts]

855
00:56:12,202 --> 00:56:13,245
[knock at door]

856
00:56:13,328 --> 00:56:14,788
[man] Gambino's!

857
00:56:14,872 --> 00:56:16,915
Yeah. You can, uh...

858
00:56:16,999 --> 00:56:19,418
[man] Money in the mailbox,
leave it on the bench.

859
00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,129
Yeah. Thanks.

860
00:56:23,797 --> 00:56:24,965
[man] I'm Dan.

861
00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:28,760
What?

862
00:56:28,844 --> 00:56:31,763
[Dan] I just... My name, it's Dan.

863
00:56:33,599 --> 00:56:35,475
I've been coming here for a while now.

864
00:56:36,226 --> 00:56:38,353
Just thought you'd wanna know my name.

865
00:56:40,814 --> 00:56:41,857
Charlie.

866
00:56:43,191 --> 00:56:44,526
[Dan] Hey, Charlie.

867
00:56:44,610 --> 00:56:46,945
[mailbox opens, closes]

868
00:56:47,029 --> 00:56:48,989
[Dan] Have a good night, okay?

869
00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:52,910
[footsteps receding]

870
00:56:56,872 --> 00:57:00,542
<i>...it sure did. More Idaho Republicans
want to see Senator Ted Cruz</i>

871
00:57:00,626 --> 00:57:02,461
<i>in the White House
than any other candidate.</i>

872
00:57:02,544 --> 00:57:06,798
<i>Cruz will split Idaho's 32 delegates
with Donald Trump,</i>

873
00:57:06,882 --> 00:57:09,927
<i>the only other candidate
to clear that 20% threshold.</i>

874
00:57:10,010 --> 00:57:13,221
<i>It was a disappointing night
for Senator Marco Rubio</i>

875
00:57:13,305 --> 00:57:15,140
<i>who failed to win any delegates</i>

876
00:57:15,223 --> 00:57:17,893
<i>in the four states
that held primaries, while...</i>

877
00:57:24,816 --> 00:57:27,027
[wheelchair squeaking]

878
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:46,797
"This apartment smells.

879
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:50,926
This notebook is retarded.
I hate everyone."

880
00:57:52,552 --> 00:57:53,637
[sighs]

881
00:58:00,143 --> 00:58:02,980
[syllabically] This apartment smells.

882
00:58:03,063 --> 00:58:07,150
This notebook is retarded.

883
00:58:07,234 --> 00:58:10,487
I hate everyone. [laughing]

884
00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:14,157
[coughing, wheezing]

885
00:58:14,241 --> 00:58:16,702
[grunting in pain]

886
00:58:16,785 --> 00:58:18,245
[coughs]

887
00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:22,040
[breathing laboriously]

888
00:58:23,542 --> 00:58:25,460
"And I felt saddest of all

889
00:58:26,378 --> 00:58:28,338
when I read the boring chapters

890
00:58:29,506 --> 00:58:31,508
that were only descriptions of whales

891
00:58:32,342 --> 00:58:34,177
because [exhales] I knew

892
00:58:35,762 --> 00:58:38,557
that the author was just trying to save us

893
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,434
from his own sad story,

894
00:58:41,518 --> 00:58:43,145
just for a little while."

895
00:58:44,604 --> 00:58:46,023
[breathes deeply]

896
00:58:46,106 --> 00:58:47,691
"This apartment smells.

897
00:58:49,943 --> 00:58:52,404
[inhales deeply] This apartment smells."

898
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:58,410
"The author was just trying to save us
from his own sad story."

899
00:58:59,786 --> 00:59:01,163
"I hate everyone."

900
00:59:05,417 --> 00:59:06,793
"I hate everyone."

901
00:59:12,424 --> 00:59:13,425
Do you have it?

902
00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:15,552
[Charlie] It's almost done.

903
00:59:17,637 --> 00:59:20,932
You can wait while I finish it up,

904
00:59:23,143 --> 00:59:24,269
print it out.

905
00:59:27,064 --> 00:59:30,650
Maybe while you're waiting,
you can write some more in your notebook.

906
00:59:30,734 --> 00:59:31,943
Oh, my God.

907
00:59:32,027 --> 00:59:34,196
You've only written
a couple sentences so far.

908
00:59:34,279 --> 00:59:36,198
- Can you write more?
- I kind of hate you.

909
00:59:36,281 --> 00:59:39,659
[chuckling] Yeah. Well, you hate everyone.

910
00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:43,163
Listen, just keep going.

911
00:59:43,246 --> 00:59:44,498
Forget about the poem.

912
00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:47,250
Write whatever you want,
whatever you're thinking.

913
00:59:47,334 --> 00:59:49,127
- [bag thuds]
- Okay. Be quiet, just...

914
00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:01,056
[exhales deeply]

915
01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:08,563
You know, I was in a really strange place
in my life

916
01:00:08,647 --> 01:00:11,149
- when I married your mom.
- Did I fucking ask?

917
01:00:11,983 --> 01:00:13,568
I just wish...

918
01:00:13,652 --> 01:00:14,986
I'm so... I'm sorry.

919
01:00:25,455 --> 01:00:27,207
I understand that you're angry.

920
01:00:28,416 --> 01:00:29,584
[breathes heavily]

921
01:00:29,668 --> 01:00:30,710
But...

922
01:00:33,046 --> 01:00:37,968
you don't have to be angry
at the whole world.

923
01:00:41,263 --> 01:00:43,306
You can just be angry at me.

924
01:00:43,390 --> 01:00:45,016
[aggressively] Okay, you know what?

925
01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:47,477
You can't throw me away
like a piece of garbage,

926
01:00:47,561 --> 01:00:49,855
and then suddenly just want to be my dad
eight years later.

927
01:00:50,730 --> 01:00:53,608
You left me for your boyfriend.

928
01:00:53,692 --> 01:00:55,402
- [sighs]
- It's that simple.

929
01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:57,237
And if you've been telling yourself
anything different,

930
01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:58,738
then you're lying to yourself.

931
01:01:02,993 --> 01:01:04,411
But you know what? I'm glad. I'm...

932
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:07,914
I'm glad, because you taught me
something very important.

933
01:01:07,998 --> 01:01:11,751
People are assholes.

934
01:01:11,835 --> 01:01:13,503
Most people learn that way too late.

935
01:01:14,588 --> 01:01:16,840
You... You taught me that when I was eight.

936
01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:20,802
Thank you for that.

937
01:01:31,104 --> 01:01:32,314
You know, you could've...

938
01:01:33,565 --> 01:01:34,608
What?

939
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:37,360
[Ellie] You could've been
sending us money.

940
01:01:38,862 --> 01:01:42,157
If you had all that money saved up,
and wanted to be a part of my life so bad,

941
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,618
- you could've been sending money to Mom.
- I did.

942
01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:46,953
Yeah, I mean more than just child support.

943
01:01:57,797 --> 01:01:58,965
I did.

944
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:04,512
When I left your mom,
she did not want me around you.

945
01:02:05,472 --> 01:02:09,809
I hoped that she would change her mind
eventually, but she...

946
01:02:09,893 --> 01:02:11,895
You could have just fucking called me.

947
01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:14,189
All this time, you...

948
01:02:15,398 --> 01:02:17,192
You could have been a part of my life.

949
01:02:19,027 --> 01:02:20,195
Ellie.

950
01:02:21,988 --> 01:02:23,073
Look at me.

951
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:32,040
Who would want me
to be a part of their life?

952
01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:45,053
I'm hungry.

953
01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:49,349
There's some stuff for sandwiches
in the fridge.

954
01:02:54,354 --> 01:02:56,273
I'll make you one,
but it's going to be small.

955
01:03:00,652 --> 01:03:02,279
And I'm only using turkey,

956
01:03:03,071 --> 01:03:04,281
and no mayonnaise.

957
01:03:09,744 --> 01:03:11,454
- What?
- Nothing.

958
01:03:12,664 --> 01:03:14,582
You're an amazing person, Ellie.

959
01:03:14,666 --> 01:03:17,544
I hope you know
what an amazing person you are.

960
01:03:18,253 --> 01:03:21,798
I couldn't ask
for a more incredible daughter.

961
01:03:24,551 --> 01:03:26,219
I'll print that out for you now.

962
01:03:33,143 --> 01:03:34,185
[bird wings flap]

963
01:03:41,401 --> 01:03:42,819
[keyboard clacking]

964
01:03:46,781 --> 01:03:47,907
[grating]

965
01:03:50,327 --> 01:03:51,328
[lighter clicks]

966
01:03:52,037 --> 01:03:54,039
[Charlie breathes heavily]

967
01:04:13,058 --> 01:04:14,142
[lighter clicks]

968
01:04:29,157 --> 01:04:30,575
[snores softly]

969
01:04:30,658 --> 01:04:31,951
[pills rattle]

970
01:04:48,259 --> 01:04:49,761
[door creaks]

971
01:05:15,412 --> 01:05:16,538
[knock at door]

972
01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:22,377
- [knock at door]
- Yeah?

973
01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:24,546
[Thomas] Uh... Hello?

974
01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:29,050
[knocks] Hi.

975
01:05:30,176 --> 01:05:31,219
Come on.

976
01:05:32,554 --> 01:05:34,431
Is he... Is he okay?

977
01:05:34,514 --> 01:05:37,225
I don't know. I ground up some Ambien
and I put it in his sandwich.

978
01:05:37,308 --> 01:05:39,978
- What?
- I only gave him a couple. He's fine.

979
01:05:40,061 --> 01:05:42,397
- I can take, like, three at a time.
- Where did you get Ambien?

980
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:43,690
I had sex with a pharmacist.

981
01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:48,945
I'm kidding. Gross.
My mom pops them like Tic Tacs.

982
01:05:49,028 --> 01:05:51,156
I don't know
if he should be taking Ambien.

983
01:05:53,491 --> 01:05:55,994
Does this make you nervous?
'Cause it's just pot.

984
01:05:56,077 --> 01:05:57,871
It's not like I'm smoking meth
or anything.

985
01:05:57,954 --> 01:05:59,831
I know. I-I know what pot is, okay?

986
01:05:59,914 --> 01:06:01,833
No. You only think you know what pot is

987
01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:03,835
because your parents told you
a bunch of lies about it.

988
01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:06,504
Don't. I know what drugs are.
I've smoked pot before.

989
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:10,133
- Ooh. Oh, I'm so impressed.
- I wasn't trying to impress you.

990
01:06:10,216 --> 01:06:12,886
- You've not smoked pot before.
- Yes, I have. It...

991
01:06:14,429 --> 01:06:15,847
It was kind of a problem.

992
01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:19,225
That is the stupidest fucking thing
I've ever heard in my entire life.

993
01:06:19,309 --> 01:06:21,478
I was smoking every day. I had a problem.

994
01:06:21,561 --> 01:06:23,730
You were a stoner. You had a hobby.

995
01:06:24,939 --> 01:06:26,900
All right, I'm gonna go.
Just tell him I was here and I'll...

996
01:06:26,983 --> 01:06:29,110
If you leave, I'll feed him the rest
of the pills I have in the bottle.

997
01:06:29,194 --> 01:06:30,278
- What?
- Yeah.

998
01:06:30,945 --> 01:06:34,157
There's, like, 20, 30 more in here.

999
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:35,909
I'll crush them up,

1000
01:06:35,992 --> 01:06:37,827
- I'll put them in some water,
- [puts bottle down]

1001
01:06:37,911 --> 01:06:39,204
and I'll pour it down his throat.

1002
01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:41,539
You wouldn't actually do that, would you?

1003
01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:42,749
Sit down.

1004
01:06:49,380 --> 01:06:50,798
So, why do you keep coming back here?

1005
01:06:52,967 --> 01:06:56,179
He needs help.
He needs God in his life right now.

1006
01:06:56,262 --> 01:06:57,764
That's a stupid reason.

1007
01:06:58,598 --> 01:07:00,433
Do you think he wants
to have sex with you?

1008
01:07:00,517 --> 01:07:02,310
That is so gross, oh, my God.

1009
01:07:02,393 --> 01:07:03,978
- Take a hit.
- I don't want...

1010
01:07:04,062 --> 01:07:05,730
If you don't take a hit,
I'm gonna call the police

1011
01:07:05,813 --> 01:07:08,107
and I'm gonna tell them
that you tried to rape me. Take a hit.

1012
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:13,488
- I don't understand you at all.
- Oh, my God.

1013
01:07:14,822 --> 01:07:17,742
- Is there a carb on this?
- Ooh, I'm impressed.

1014
01:07:17,825 --> 01:07:20,370
- I wasn't trying to impress you.
- There isn't a carb.

1015
01:07:24,707 --> 01:07:25,959
[sighs]

1016
01:07:30,380 --> 01:07:32,549
- [camera clicks]
- [coughs]

1017
01:07:32,632 --> 01:07:34,425
- Calm down.
- [coughing]

1018
01:07:34,509 --> 01:07:36,553
- What are you gonna do with that picture?
- I'm gonna masturbate to it.

1019
01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:39,180
Is that what you want me to say?
You're a pervert. Take another hit.

1020
01:07:41,099 --> 01:07:43,142
Look, I'm just fucking with you,
all right?

1021
01:07:43,226 --> 01:07:44,852
I'm not gonna kill anyone,

1022
01:07:44,936 --> 01:07:47,814
I'm not gonna tell anyone
that you tried to rape me.

1023
01:07:47,897 --> 01:07:49,274
You're not going to give him
any more Ambien?

1024
01:07:49,357 --> 01:07:50,775
- [Ellie] No.
- [pills rattle]

1025
01:07:50,858 --> 01:07:52,360
[zips bag]

1026
01:07:52,443 --> 01:07:54,153
Why do you keep coming back here?

1027
01:07:56,531 --> 01:07:58,032
I don't know.

1028
01:07:58,116 --> 01:07:59,909
Seriously, if you hate him so much,
then why...

1029
01:07:59,993 --> 01:08:01,494
I'm done answering questions now.

1030
01:08:07,667 --> 01:08:08,876
Can I take another hit?

1031
01:08:10,587 --> 01:08:11,921
It goes against your religion,

1032
01:08:13,214 --> 01:08:14,465
and that makes you a hypocrite.

1033
01:08:16,384 --> 01:08:17,468
Go ahead.

1034
01:08:22,932 --> 01:08:24,100
[inhales]

1035
01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:27,437
[camera clicks]

1036
01:08:28,396 --> 01:08:29,731
I really wish that you wouldn't do that.

1037
01:08:29,814 --> 01:08:31,357
Yeah, I know. I heard you the first time.

1038
01:08:32,692 --> 01:08:35,194
- Do you find me attractive?
- [hesitates]

1039
01:08:35,278 --> 01:08:39,240
Because I'm not attracted to you at all,
just to let you know.

1040
01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:41,367
I'm not trying to be mean or anything.

1041
01:08:41,451 --> 01:08:44,996
I just don't think
you're very good-looking, or interesting.

1042
01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:46,497
Or intelligent.

1043
01:08:46,581 --> 01:08:47,874
[scoffs]

1044
01:08:48,916 --> 01:08:51,669
Oh, my God, grow up.
Maybe someone else finds you attractive.

1045
01:08:51,753 --> 01:08:53,796
- Maybe my dad finds you attractive.
- I really wish you...

1046
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,840
You know, it is so easy
to make you uncomfortable.

1047
01:08:55,923 --> 01:08:59,427
It's honestly... It's a little sad.
You can cash that out.

1048
01:09:13,441 --> 01:09:16,027
[scoffs] If my parents knew
I was getting high,

1049
01:09:16,110 --> 01:09:17,904
getting high while out witnessing
for the church...

1050
01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:18,988
You're not from New Life.

1051
01:09:20,657 --> 01:09:21,658
What?

1052
01:09:21,741 --> 01:09:23,701
There's a kid in the grade
below me who goes there.

1053
01:09:24,661 --> 01:09:27,080
He told me that they stopped doing
door-to-door stuff last year

1054
01:09:27,163 --> 01:09:29,874
when some woman was out preaching
or whatever,

1055
01:09:29,957 --> 01:09:32,085
and a guy answered the door
with no clothes on.

1056
01:09:33,336 --> 01:09:35,380
- I gotta go.
- Who are you, really?

1057
01:09:36,964 --> 01:09:38,591
Come on, just tell me!

1058
01:09:39,509 --> 01:09:40,510
Why do you care?

1059
01:09:40,593 --> 01:09:42,762
Because I think we have
a blossoming friendship.

1060
01:09:44,263 --> 01:09:45,723
You're just messing with me.

1061
01:09:47,016 --> 01:09:48,184
[Ellie] No, I'm not.

1062
01:09:49,435 --> 01:09:50,687
You're not going to tell anyone?

1063
01:09:52,271 --> 01:09:53,398
Who am I gonna tell?

1064
01:10:01,614 --> 01:10:02,824
I was on a mission.

1065
01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:08,454
With a group from my church,
back in Waterloo,

1066
01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:10,998
my hometown in Iowa.

1067
01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:16,504
When my dad caught me smoking pot,
he thought a mission would be a good idea.

1068
01:10:16,587 --> 01:10:19,757
I mean, the truth is,
he's just embarrassed by me

1069
01:10:19,841 --> 01:10:22,051
and wanted me gone for a while.

1070
01:10:22,885 --> 01:10:25,346
Anyway, I just left.

1071
01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:29,475
I couldn't do it anymore.

1072
01:10:31,519 --> 01:10:32,520
Why?

1073
01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:34,814
The mission leader,

1074
01:10:36,315 --> 01:10:39,152
this guy, Jerry, all he had us doing
was standing on corners

1075
01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:41,028
and handing out pamphlets.

1076
01:10:41,112 --> 01:10:42,447
The end of each day, he'd be like,

1077
01:10:42,530 --> 01:10:44,198
"Look how many people
we're helping," but...

1078
01:10:44,907 --> 01:10:47,452
I tried to talk to him
about different ways we can minister.

1079
01:10:47,535 --> 01:10:50,788
I mean, different ways
that we could actually help people. But...

1080
01:10:52,081 --> 01:10:54,333
You could just tell
that he didn't need to earn

1081
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:56,169
or prove his faith at all.

1082
01:10:59,088 --> 01:11:02,467
After a while, I was just like,
"Am I really helping?"

1083
01:11:03,676 --> 01:11:05,970
No. You were not.

1084
01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:09,098
Yeah, I started to feel that way, too.

1085
01:11:10,808 --> 01:11:14,020
I don't feel that way,
I know that you weren't helping people.

1086
01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:16,647
It doesn't help people to tell them
that they should believe in God.

1087
01:11:16,731 --> 01:11:17,940
Why would that help people?

1088
01:11:18,775 --> 01:11:22,695
I just thought...
I see all my family, my friends,

1089
01:11:24,071 --> 01:11:25,406
they're all just so happy.

1090
01:11:30,369 --> 01:11:31,829
I just want to be like that.

1091
01:11:33,956 --> 01:11:35,291
So, why'd you leave, then?

1092
01:11:36,626 --> 01:11:39,378
I was worried I was gonna get arrested.

1093
01:11:40,087 --> 01:11:41,088
For smoking pot?

1094
01:11:42,632 --> 01:11:43,966
For stealing from the mission.

1095
01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:55,937
One day, I ditched the pamphlets.
I went door-to-door.

1096
01:11:56,020 --> 01:11:57,772
I started actually engaging with people.

1097
01:11:57,855 --> 01:12:01,984
Finally. I mean, it felt like
I was doing something, helping someone.

1098
01:12:03,486 --> 01:12:04,570
[scoffs]

1099
01:12:05,404 --> 01:12:08,407
And that night,
I went back to the mission meeting,

1100
01:12:08,491 --> 01:12:09,992
and I told everyone what I did that day,

1101
01:12:10,076 --> 01:12:11,911
and Jerry was like,
"That's not what we do, buddy."

1102
01:12:11,994 --> 01:12:13,120
And I was like, "Well, why not?"

1103
01:12:13,204 --> 01:12:15,873
And we got in this huge argument
in front of everyone, and...

1104
01:12:16,749 --> 01:12:17,834
[sighs]

1105
01:12:20,336 --> 01:12:23,464
And that night, I decided to leave.

1106
01:12:23,548 --> 01:12:25,591
And when everyone went to sleep, I...

1107
01:12:25,675 --> 01:12:26,968
I took the petty cash.

1108
01:12:28,803 --> 01:12:29,887
[Ellie] How much?

1109
01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:35,476
$2,436.

1110
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:40,565
- Oh.
- Yeah. "Oh."

1111
01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:43,651
I got on a bus.

1112
01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:48,114
Jerry and my parents were calling me
over and over again.

1113
01:12:49,615 --> 01:12:51,242
I just tossed my phone.

1114
01:12:53,703 --> 01:12:56,664
After a while, I wound up here.

1115
01:13:00,418 --> 01:13:03,796
I thought I could use this money
for my own mission.

1116
01:13:05,256 --> 01:13:08,426
You know, see my faith save
just one person.

1117
01:13:09,844 --> 01:13:12,346
But now I'm almost out of money. I just...

1118
01:13:13,347 --> 01:13:14,599
I can't go home, and...

1119
01:13:15,474 --> 01:13:17,310
My parents probably wanna disown me.

1120
01:13:22,857 --> 01:13:24,483
[sighs] I don't know what to do.

1121
01:13:35,119 --> 01:13:36,621
You're more interesting to me now.

1122
01:13:39,665 --> 01:13:40,708
Thanks.

1123
01:13:53,429 --> 01:13:55,097
So, that's why you wanna save my dad.

1124
01:13:59,810 --> 01:14:00,811
[door opens]

1125
01:14:06,025 --> 01:14:07,068
[camera clicks]

1126
01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:10,529
[main door lock clicks]

1127
01:14:15,952 --> 01:14:16,953
Mom?

1128
01:14:17,036 --> 01:14:18,663
- Don't freak out.
- Shut up.

1129
01:14:21,165 --> 01:14:22,249
[Liz] You again?

1130
01:14:23,084 --> 01:14:24,293
Charlie?

1131
01:14:24,377 --> 01:14:25,711
Charlie?

1132
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:28,965
Charlie?

1133
01:14:30,341 --> 01:14:31,634
[softly] Charlie.

1134
01:14:38,933 --> 01:14:40,267
[Charlie coughs]

1135
01:14:44,313 --> 01:14:45,356
[lighter clicks]

1136
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:48,234
Not with the oxygen tank.

1137
01:14:49,819 --> 01:14:50,861
I'll stand by the window.

1138
01:14:52,571 --> 01:14:53,698
[Liz sighs]

1139
01:14:57,785 --> 01:15:00,871
Ellie told you she was coming over?

1140
01:15:00,955 --> 01:15:04,417
No. I did. And just in time, looks like.

1141
01:15:05,209 --> 01:15:06,627
You having any more pain?

1142
01:15:06,711 --> 01:15:08,129
[grunts softly]

1143
01:15:08,212 --> 01:15:10,256
[sighs] How easy is it to move?

1144
01:15:11,090 --> 01:15:12,133
Not very.

1145
01:15:12,216 --> 01:15:14,677
Any confusion? Have you felt disoriented,

1146
01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:16,303
forgotten where you are
or what you're doing?

1147
01:15:16,387 --> 01:15:19,807
- Am I okay?
- No, you're not okay.

1148
01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:21,517
But as far as the sleeping pills,
you're fine.

1149
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:23,936
- I don't think she gave you much.
- Yeah, that's what I told you.

1150
01:15:26,188 --> 01:15:28,983
You know, I was a very angry,
very stupid little girl once, too,

1151
01:15:29,066 --> 01:15:30,526
but if you would've given him
any more pills than that...

1152
01:15:30,609 --> 01:15:32,069
Yeah, but I didn't give him
more pills than that,

1153
01:15:32,153 --> 01:15:33,738
- I gave him two pills.
- Ellie?

1154
01:15:34,864 --> 01:15:36,282
How much money did he offer you?

1155
01:15:42,163 --> 01:15:44,874
- All of it?
- How do you know about the money?

1156
01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:46,042
You think I'm an idiot?

1157
01:15:46,917 --> 01:15:49,128
You think I would believe
that you were coming over here

1158
01:15:49,211 --> 01:15:51,380
out of the kindness of your heart?

1159
01:15:51,464 --> 01:15:54,759
[laughs] Charlie doesn't have any money.

1160
01:15:54,842 --> 01:15:56,635
[Liz continues laughing]

1161
01:15:56,719 --> 01:15:58,554
- She doesn't know?
- [Charlie] Mary.

1162
01:15:58,637 --> 01:16:01,766
Where do you think all the money
from his teaching has been going?

1163
01:16:01,849 --> 01:16:02,975
The account for Ellie?

1164
01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:05,186
By now, it has to be huge.

1165
01:16:05,269 --> 01:16:07,438
Over $100,000 at least, right?

1166
01:16:08,773 --> 01:16:10,357
[wheezes softly]

1167
01:16:12,526 --> 01:16:13,819
That's not true, is it?

1168
01:16:17,740 --> 01:16:18,908
Charlie.

1169
01:16:20,326 --> 01:16:22,536
We could have gotten you
anything you needed.

1170
01:16:23,579 --> 01:16:28,042
Special beds, physical therapists,
fucking health insurance!

1171
01:16:29,710 --> 01:16:32,421
Last winter, when my pickup broke down
and I had to walk through the snow

1172
01:16:32,505 --> 01:16:35,257
- to get your groceries for you...
- I offered to get your truck fixed.

1173
01:16:35,341 --> 01:16:38,177
Yeah, and I refused
because I thought you had $700

1174
01:16:38,260 --> 01:16:40,429
- in your bank account.
- The money is for Ellie.

1175
01:16:41,555 --> 01:16:43,140
It's always been for Ellie.

1176
01:16:43,224 --> 01:16:47,603
If there was ever any kind of emergency,
I would have given you the money.

1177
01:16:47,686 --> 01:16:48,729
Would you?

1178
01:16:51,941 --> 01:16:52,983
Wait.

1179
01:16:53,067 --> 01:16:55,903
[panting]

1180
01:16:55,986 --> 01:16:57,613
Wait... Wait.

1181
01:17:01,450 --> 01:17:03,869
- Mom, you're not getting any of my money.
- Oh, shut up, Ellie.

1182
01:17:05,704 --> 01:17:07,706
Leave, right now.

1183
01:17:10,709 --> 01:17:14,713
Wait. [pants]
Ellie, I know you didn't mean to hurt me.

1184
01:17:14,797 --> 01:17:16,215
- I know that you didn't...
- Okay, you know what? Listen to me.

1185
01:17:16,298 --> 01:17:18,259
Listen. I don't care about you!

1186
01:17:18,342 --> 01:17:20,302
Get that through your fucking skull.

1187
01:17:20,386 --> 01:17:23,139
- [crying] Ellie, please.
- Just fucking die already!

1188
01:17:23,222 --> 01:17:24,306
Enough!

1189
01:17:28,144 --> 01:17:30,020
Ellie, your... your essay.

1190
01:17:33,190 --> 01:17:34,233
[opens drawer]

1191
01:17:37,778 --> 01:17:40,322
So... It's...

1192
01:17:43,325 --> 01:17:45,244
It's a really good essay!

1193
01:17:48,038 --> 01:17:49,957
[sobs, wheezes]

1194
01:17:50,958 --> 01:17:52,376
[coughs]

1195
01:18:12,271 --> 01:18:14,481
- [wheezes]
- Jesus, Charlie.

1196
01:18:22,406 --> 01:18:23,490
Do you have anything?

1197
01:18:27,578 --> 01:18:31,498
It's above the sink,
the kitchen counter on the left.

1198
01:18:33,250 --> 01:18:35,336
The other one. [sniffles] Yup.

1199
01:18:37,379 --> 01:18:39,506
[coughing, wheezing]

1200
01:18:39,590 --> 01:18:43,385
Our deal was to wait until she's out
of the house to give her the money.

1201
01:18:44,178 --> 01:18:45,721
What's the difference?

1202
01:18:45,804 --> 01:18:48,933
The difference is she's 17
and still in high school.

1203
01:18:49,808 --> 01:18:52,728
She's gonna spend it on face tattoos
or ponies, or something.

1204
01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:55,105
I think that she's a lot smarter
than that.

1205
01:18:55,189 --> 01:18:56,398
[Mary scoffs]

1206
01:18:58,067 --> 01:18:59,068
So...

1207
01:19:02,279 --> 01:19:03,322
How's it been?

1208
01:19:04,740 --> 01:19:06,784
- Getting to know her.
- [chuckles softly]

1209
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,870
- She's amazing.
- [Mary chuckles]

1210
01:19:09,954 --> 01:19:12,581
[sighs] You still do that.

1211
01:19:14,083 --> 01:19:15,084
What?

1212
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:17,544
That positivity.

1213
01:19:19,255 --> 01:19:20,381
It's so annoying.

1214
01:19:21,215 --> 01:19:22,508
You're a complete cynic.

1215
01:19:23,968 --> 01:19:25,678
Just trying to balance us out.

1216
01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:28,097
Yeah. I guess I do miss that.

1217
01:19:29,098 --> 01:19:30,182
That one thing.

1218
01:19:31,725 --> 01:19:32,851
Just that?

1219
01:19:34,728 --> 01:19:35,854
That, and the cooking.

1220
01:19:36,897 --> 01:19:37,982
Last month,

1221
01:19:38,065 --> 01:19:39,817
- tried to make a stir-fry thing.
- Yeah?

1222
01:19:39,900 --> 01:19:41,694
Almost set the entire
apartment building on fire.

1223
01:19:41,777 --> 01:19:43,153
[laughing]

1224
01:19:43,237 --> 01:19:46,073
[coughing]

1225
01:19:46,156 --> 01:19:48,158
[gasps, coughs]

1226
01:19:48,242 --> 01:19:49,910
[gasping]

1227
01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:53,998
[continues coughing]

1228
01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:56,125
[breathes deeply]

1229
01:20:02,923 --> 01:20:04,800
I never knew you were doing this
to yourself.

1230
01:20:06,176 --> 01:20:08,345
Well, you never asked how I was doing.

1231
01:20:09,722 --> 01:20:11,473
You never asked how I was doing either.

1232
01:20:12,725 --> 01:20:14,059
Every month, it's just,

1233
01:20:14,727 --> 01:20:17,479
"How much money do you need?"
or, "How's Ellie?"

1234
01:20:17,563 --> 01:20:20,649
You didn't tell me that she's flunking
out of school.

1235
01:20:20,733 --> 01:20:23,861
I guess I just didn't need the lecture
about my involvement in her education.

1236
01:20:23,944 --> 01:20:26,780
That is not what I... [exhales]

1237
01:20:29,616 --> 01:20:30,743
[exhales]

1238
01:20:32,494 --> 01:20:34,121
- How are you doing, Mary?
- [scoffs]

1239
01:20:39,626 --> 01:20:42,880
I know I'm not supposed to be around her.

1240
01:20:42,963 --> 01:20:45,132
You could probably call the police
if you wanted to.

1241
01:20:45,215 --> 01:20:47,760
Oh, Christ. You really think I'd do that?

1242
01:20:47,843 --> 01:20:50,763
You fought me pretty hard
for full custody.

1243
01:20:50,846 --> 01:20:53,140
And I don't blame you
for keeping her from me.

1244
01:20:53,223 --> 01:20:58,062
Charlie, need I remind you
that you left us.

1245
01:20:58,145 --> 01:21:01,148
- I know.
- And I was left raising our kid

1246
01:21:01,231 --> 01:21:04,568
and explaining to people
that my husband left me for a man.

1247
01:21:04,651 --> 01:21:07,071
But you didn't have
to cut me out of her life like that.

1248
01:21:07,154 --> 01:21:08,155
Oh, please.

1249
01:21:08,238 --> 01:21:10,491
You were more than happy
to forget about us for a while.

1250
01:21:10,574 --> 01:21:11,784
You know that.

1251
01:21:13,452 --> 01:21:15,954
I know I made a lot of mistakes.

1252
01:21:17,706 --> 01:21:20,584
But I just wanted to see her, Mary.

1253
01:21:20,667 --> 01:21:23,295
I've always just...
Just wanted to see her.

1254
01:21:24,546 --> 01:21:25,631
It's all about you.

1255
01:21:27,383 --> 01:21:29,176
Even now, huh?

1256
01:21:29,843 --> 01:21:31,470
[Charlie sighs heavily]

1257
01:21:31,553 --> 01:21:33,222
Now you know why I kept you from her.

1258
01:21:34,014 --> 01:21:35,015
What?

1259
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,977
She's awful. Isn't she?

1260
01:21:39,853 --> 01:21:42,564
She's a terror.
And you think it's my fault.

1261
01:21:43,315 --> 01:21:47,986
Wait, is that why you kept her from me
all this time?

1262
01:21:48,070 --> 01:21:52,366
Because you thought that I would think
that you're a bad mother?

1263
01:21:53,492 --> 01:21:54,493
At first.

1264
01:21:55,744 --> 01:21:59,039
But later, when she was 15,16,

1265
01:22:00,958 --> 01:22:03,627
- I was worried she would hurt you.
- Hurt me?

1266
01:22:05,295 --> 01:22:06,463
It's ridiculous.

1267
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:09,883
I don't take any pleasure in admitting it.
I'm her mother, for Christ's sake.

1268
01:22:10,801 --> 01:22:13,929
You know, I spent way too much time
telling myself, you know,

1269
01:22:14,012 --> 01:22:17,141
"She's just rebellious,
she's just difficult."

1270
01:22:19,518 --> 01:22:22,479
Charlie, she's evil.

1271
01:22:23,522 --> 01:22:25,357
She's not evil.

1272
01:22:31,363 --> 01:22:32,531
What are you doing?

1273
01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:40,122
[Mary typing] You think it's just me?

1274
01:22:51,717 --> 01:22:55,012
"There'll be a grease fire in hell
when he starts to burn."

1275
01:23:02,478 --> 01:23:03,729
Don't feel bad.

1276
01:23:05,147 --> 01:23:07,524
I've made quite a few appearances
on that thing.

1277
01:23:10,861 --> 01:23:12,196
She's a strong writer.

1278
01:23:14,323 --> 01:23:17,242
- [raises voice] That's your response?
- This isn't evil.

1279
01:23:17,868 --> 01:23:19,328
This is honesty.

1280
01:23:19,411 --> 01:23:21,872
Do you know how much bullshit
I've read in my life?

1281
01:23:21,955 --> 01:23:24,750
My God, I don't understand you, Charlie!

1282
01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:28,712
Every time I call and ask you
how she's doing, you say, "She's fine."

1283
01:23:28,795 --> 01:23:32,382
- If she's so evil, then...
- What was I supposed to tell you? Huh?

1284
01:23:32,466 --> 01:23:36,136
That she was off making her classmates cry
or slashing her teachers' tires?

1285
01:23:36,220 --> 01:23:38,639
- You didn't want to hear that stuff!
- I could have helped her!

1286
01:23:38,722 --> 01:23:41,642
She doesn't want your help!
She doesn't want anyone!

1287
01:23:41,725 --> 01:23:44,770
You think I didn't want her to have a dad?

1288
01:23:44,853 --> 01:23:46,355
She adored you!

1289
01:23:46,438 --> 01:23:48,315
The only reason you married me
in the first place

1290
01:23:48,398 --> 01:23:50,108
was to have a kid, I know that!

1291
01:23:50,192 --> 01:23:51,944
Mary, please!

1292
01:23:52,027 --> 01:23:53,153
[Mary sighs]

1293
01:23:57,115 --> 01:24:00,536
Well, this brings back memories,
doesn't it?

1294
01:24:02,496 --> 01:24:03,664
[sighs]

1295
01:24:04,623 --> 01:24:06,208
[wheezes, coughs]

1296
01:24:20,013 --> 01:24:21,306
Listen.

1297
01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:25,435
I never got to say that I was sorry.

1298
01:24:27,229 --> 01:24:29,189
What would you have to be sorry about?

1299
01:24:29,731 --> 01:24:30,899
That's not what I mean.

1300
01:24:32,401 --> 01:24:33,485
I mean...

1301
01:24:38,156 --> 01:24:40,951
About your friend.

1302
01:24:41,952 --> 01:24:42,953
Oh.

1303
01:24:46,623 --> 01:24:49,418
- His name was Alan.
- I know his fucking name, Charlie.

1304
01:24:54,047 --> 01:24:55,132
I saw him once,

1305
01:24:56,842 --> 01:24:58,260
in the Walmart parking lot.

1306
01:24:59,094 --> 01:25:02,055
He wasn't looking too good,
and I don't think it was long before he...

1307
01:25:04,266 --> 01:25:07,853
Anyway, I had all these things that I...
I wanted to say to him,

1308
01:25:07,936 --> 01:25:10,397
you know, hurl at him
like bricks. [sniffles]

1309
01:25:10,480 --> 01:25:11,648
But I...

1310
01:25:12,482 --> 01:25:14,109
I asked if he wanted some help.

1311
01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:18,864
He let me carry
a couple of bags to his car,

1312
01:25:19,948 --> 01:25:21,241
he said thank you,

1313
01:25:22,868 --> 01:25:23,910
and I left.

1314
01:25:27,664 --> 01:25:29,625
I never even told him who I was.

1315
01:25:32,961 --> 01:25:34,338
[wheezes softly]

1316
01:25:35,797 --> 01:25:37,299
[wheezing]

1317
01:25:38,342 --> 01:25:39,426
You're wheezing.

1318
01:25:40,844 --> 01:25:44,264
Yeah, it's gotten worse.

1319
01:25:44,348 --> 01:25:45,557
Should I call someone?

1320
01:25:46,224 --> 01:25:48,435
No. Um...

1321
01:25:53,523 --> 01:25:54,733
You'll let me hear?

1322
01:26:03,700 --> 01:26:04,826
[grunts]

1323
01:26:19,549 --> 01:26:20,926
[hoarsely] How do I sound?

1324
01:26:28,475 --> 01:26:31,019
That was the first time
we've all been together

1325
01:26:31,103 --> 01:26:33,855
in almost nine years. Do you realize that?

1326
01:26:33,939 --> 01:26:35,023
[chuckles dryly]

1327
01:26:43,490 --> 01:26:45,367
When Ellie was little,

1328
01:26:45,450 --> 01:26:49,162
when we took that trip
to the Oregon Coast together,

1329
01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:52,708
Ellie played in the sand, and...

1330
01:26:52,791 --> 01:26:53,875
[sniffles]

1331
01:26:53,959 --> 01:26:56,086
...we laid out on the beach.

1332
01:26:56,837 --> 01:26:58,880
I went swimming in the ocean.

1333
01:27:01,258 --> 01:27:04,261
That was the last time
I ever went swimming, actually.

1334
01:27:07,013 --> 01:27:09,933
I kept cutting my legs on the rocks.

1335
01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:15,272
The water was so cold.

1336
01:27:15,355 --> 01:27:17,232
[ocean waves splashing]

1337
01:27:26,700 --> 01:27:30,370
And you were so mad that my legs bled

1338
01:27:30,454 --> 01:27:33,790
and stained the seats in the minivan.
[chuckles]

1339
01:27:33,874 --> 01:27:38,712
And you said, for days after that,
I smelled like seawater.

1340
01:27:38,795 --> 01:27:40,672
- [Charlie laughs]
- [sniffles]

1341
01:27:40,756 --> 01:27:42,382
[wheezes] You remember that?

1342
01:27:42,466 --> 01:27:45,510
[coughing]

1343
01:27:46,428 --> 01:27:48,388
[sniffles]

1344
01:27:50,015 --> 01:27:51,224
You sound awful.

1345
01:27:52,768 --> 01:27:55,103
[sighs] I'm dying, Mary.

1346
01:27:59,149 --> 01:28:00,192
Fuck you.

1347
01:28:02,068 --> 01:28:03,278
I'm sorry.

1348
01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:05,989
Fuck you.

1349
01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:10,035
[crying] For sure?

1350
01:28:10,786 --> 01:28:13,371
Yeah. For sure.

1351
01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:15,499
[cries, sighs]

1352
01:28:15,582 --> 01:28:17,000
[Charlie] Listen to me.

1353
01:28:19,920 --> 01:28:22,297
I need to make certain
that she's going to be okay.

1354
01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:24,674
We can't give up on her.

1355
01:28:25,425 --> 01:28:27,135
You already gave up on her!

1356
01:28:27,219 --> 01:28:29,179
You gave up on her
when she was eight years old!

1357
01:28:29,262 --> 01:28:32,265
I wish I could have been
a part of her life, Mary,

1358
01:28:32,349 --> 01:28:33,934
a part of both of your lives.

1359
01:28:34,017 --> 01:28:35,185
Go to the hospital.

1360
01:28:36,353 --> 01:28:39,356
You have money, just go to the hospital!

1361
01:28:39,439 --> 01:28:44,319
We both know that that money is for Ellie.

1362
01:28:45,153 --> 01:28:48,573
But beyond that,

1363
01:28:49,449 --> 01:28:53,829
I need to know
that she's gonna have a decent life.

1364
01:28:54,663 --> 01:28:59,125
Where she cares about people
and other people care about her.

1365
01:29:00,460 --> 01:29:02,587
And she's gonna be okay.

1366
01:29:03,505 --> 01:29:04,673
- I need to go.
- Mary.

1367
01:29:04,756 --> 01:29:08,093
- She doesn't have anyone else!
- I have to go.

1368
01:29:08,176 --> 01:29:13,765
[crying] I need to know that I have done
one thing right with my life!

1369
01:29:17,185 --> 01:29:18,770
We both played our parts.

1370
01:29:20,105 --> 01:29:23,275
I raised her,
and you're giving her the money.

1371
01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:24,693
It's the best we could do.

1372
01:29:26,528 --> 01:29:27,737
[sighs]

1373
01:29:30,574 --> 01:29:31,783
Do you need anything

1374
01:29:33,118 --> 01:29:34,202
before I leave?

1375
01:29:35,161 --> 01:29:36,329
Water, or something.

1376
01:29:37,622 --> 01:29:39,124
[coughs]

1377
01:29:44,379 --> 01:29:45,881
[sighs]

1378
01:29:45,964 --> 01:29:47,007
[coughs]

1379
01:29:58,184 --> 01:29:59,686
[phone beeps]

1380
01:29:59,769 --> 01:30:02,230
[snoring]

1381
01:30:03,773 --> 01:30:05,734
[rain pouring]

1382
01:30:08,028 --> 01:30:10,363
[thunder rumbling]

1383
01:30:10,447 --> 01:30:12,157
[coughs]

1384
01:30:45,815 --> 01:30:47,233
[knock at door]

1385
01:30:47,317 --> 01:30:48,818
[Dan] Gambino's!

1386
01:30:48,902 --> 01:30:50,987
[Charlie coughing] Yeah.

1387
01:30:51,071 --> 01:30:52,113
[Dan] Charlie?

1388
01:30:53,281 --> 01:30:54,324
You okay?

1389
01:30:56,076 --> 01:30:58,119
Yeah. [clears throat]

1390
01:30:59,454 --> 01:31:01,331
The money is in the, um...

1391
01:31:02,624 --> 01:31:03,625
[Dan] Sure.

1392
01:31:03,708 --> 01:31:04,960
[mailbox opens]

1393
01:31:07,712 --> 01:31:09,381
You sure you're doing okay?

1394
01:31:11,257 --> 01:31:13,259
Yeah. Thanks, Dan.

1395
01:31:13,343 --> 01:31:15,637
Have a good night, okay?

1396
01:31:15,720 --> 01:31:16,846
[mailbox closes]

1397
01:31:22,143 --> 01:31:24,062
[rain pouring heavily]

1398
01:31:41,371 --> 01:31:42,455
[mumbles] What...

1399
01:31:54,801 --> 01:31:56,970
[intense music playing]

1400
01:32:09,149 --> 01:32:11,151
[breathing heavily]

1401
01:32:16,364 --> 01:32:17,949
[thunder rumbling]

1402
01:32:25,498 --> 01:32:26,750
[typing]

1403
01:32:34,674 --> 01:32:37,010
[whispering] Fuck these essays.

1404
01:32:38,219 --> 01:32:39,846
Fuck these readings.

1405
01:32:41,598 --> 01:32:46,519
- Just write something fucking honest.
- [banging keyboard]

1406
01:32:49,397 --> 01:32:50,648
[slams laptop shut]

1407
01:32:51,399 --> 01:32:52,442
[sighs]

1408
01:32:55,320 --> 01:32:57,739
[intense music continues]

1409
01:33:39,948 --> 01:33:41,449
[retches]

1410
01:33:41,533 --> 01:33:42,617
[spits]

1411
01:33:42,700 --> 01:33:44,619
[coughs, wheezes]

1412
01:33:45,537 --> 01:33:47,455
[gasps]

1413
01:33:47,539 --> 01:33:50,375
[coughing]

1414
01:33:54,420 --> 01:33:56,172
[continues coughing]

1415
01:33:57,507 --> 01:33:59,342
[stifling sob]

1416
01:33:59,425 --> 01:34:01,553
[sobbing]

1417
01:34:01,636 --> 01:34:03,263
[coughs, sobs]

1418
01:34:08,810 --> 01:34:11,146
[continues sobbing]

1419
01:34:11,229 --> 01:34:12,730
[coughs]

1420
01:34:15,692 --> 01:34:16,860
[knock at door]

1421
01:34:16,943 --> 01:34:18,570
[gasps] Liz?

1422
01:34:20,113 --> 01:34:21,990
[knocking continues]

1423
01:34:22,073 --> 01:34:23,449
[Thomas] Can I come inside?

1424
01:34:25,118 --> 01:34:26,286
It's not locked.

1425
01:34:28,454 --> 01:34:29,956
- Hi.
- What's wrong?

1426
01:34:30,039 --> 01:34:31,791
- Thank you.
- For what?

1427
01:34:31,875 --> 01:34:35,962
Look, I'm not exactly who I said I was.
I'm not from New Life.

1428
01:34:36,588 --> 01:34:38,047
What? I... I don't...

1429
01:34:38,131 --> 01:34:39,966
I've been in a pretty bad place recently.

1430
01:34:40,049 --> 01:34:43,511
I... I stole some money,
and I ran away from home a few months ago.

1431
01:34:43,595 --> 01:34:46,347
And your daughter, she took these pictures
of me smoking pot,

1432
01:34:46,431 --> 01:34:48,266
and a recording or something like that,

1433
01:34:48,349 --> 01:34:50,852
and she found my church
in Waterloo somehow,

1434
01:34:50,935 --> 01:34:53,271
and then she sent it to them,
and they sent it to my parents...

1435
01:34:53,354 --> 01:34:55,440
- Wait.
- ...and you know what they said?

1436
01:34:55,523 --> 01:34:57,108
"It's just money."

1437
01:34:58,151 --> 01:35:00,069
And they forgive me.

1438
01:35:00,153 --> 01:35:03,072
And they love me,
and they want me to come home.

1439
01:35:04,616 --> 01:35:06,075
How awful is that?

1440
01:35:07,160 --> 01:35:09,287
Ellie, she... She did all that?

1441
01:35:09,370 --> 01:35:13,625
I can't tell if she was trying
to help me or hurt me, or...

1442
01:35:13,708 --> 01:35:15,418
Do you ever get that feeling from her?
[chuckles]

1443
01:35:15,501 --> 01:35:17,295
How did she even... She...

1444
01:35:18,880 --> 01:35:22,342
She found your church,
she tracked down your parents.

1445
01:35:23,134 --> 01:35:24,427
She really did all that?

1446
01:35:24,510 --> 01:35:26,888
Yeah. I mean, I'm going home tomorrow.

1447
01:35:26,971 --> 01:35:30,433
But, Charlie, before I go,
I have to show you this.

1448
01:35:30,516 --> 01:35:32,268
[breathes uncomfortably]

1449
01:35:32,352 --> 01:35:33,853
- What... what's wrong?
- [grunts heavily]

1450
01:35:33,937 --> 01:35:35,188
Wait, are you okay?

1451
01:35:35,271 --> 01:35:36,522
It just hurts.

1452
01:35:36,606 --> 01:35:39,567
Charlie, I want to help you.
I know I can help you.

1453
01:35:39,651 --> 01:35:41,277
I'm not going to the hospital.

1454
01:35:41,361 --> 01:35:44,447
No, I know. I'm not gonna make you go.
But I can help you.

1455
01:35:46,241 --> 01:35:47,659
- "Therefore, brothers and sisters...
- What are you doing?

1456
01:35:47,742 --> 01:35:48,952
...we have an obligation,

1457
01:35:49,035 --> 01:35:51,454
but it is not to the flesh,
to live according to it.

1458
01:35:51,537 --> 01:35:54,123
For if you live according to the flesh,
you will die.

1459
01:35:54,207 --> 01:35:58,002
But if by the Spirit you put to death
the misdeeds of the body,

1460
01:35:58,086 --> 01:36:00,797
- then you will live."
- I... I don't understand.

1461
01:36:00,880 --> 01:36:03,841
Charlie, when I read this,
I finally got it.

1462
01:36:03,925 --> 01:36:07,178
I finally understood
why God brought me here to you.

1463
01:36:07,262 --> 01:36:09,597
So I could help you understand
what happened to Alan,

1464
01:36:09,681 --> 01:36:11,057
so it doesn't happen to you, too.

1465
01:36:14,143 --> 01:36:15,144
How did you get this?

1466
01:36:15,228 --> 01:36:18,147
Charlie, Alan tried to escape God's will.

1467
01:36:18,231 --> 01:36:20,733
He chose his life with you over God.

1468
01:36:20,817 --> 01:36:23,695
But this is why he was so obsessed
with this verse.

1469
01:36:24,570 --> 01:36:27,657
He knew that he was living in the flesh,
and not in the Spirit.

1470
01:36:27,740 --> 01:36:30,827
He never prayed for salvation,
but it's not too late for you.

1471
01:36:30,910 --> 01:36:33,830
Through the Spirit, you can put to death
the misdeeds of the body,

1472
01:36:33,913 --> 01:36:35,081
and you will live.

1473
01:36:36,499 --> 01:36:39,377
You think Alan died
because he chose to be with me?

1474
01:36:41,337 --> 01:36:44,257
You think God turned his back on him
because he and I were in love?

1475
01:36:48,469 --> 01:36:49,470
Yes.

1476
01:36:54,058 --> 01:36:55,518
[sighs]

1477
01:36:57,937 --> 01:37:00,690
You know something?
I wasn't always this big.

1478
01:37:01,774 --> 01:37:03,693
Yeah, I know.

1479
01:37:03,776 --> 01:37:06,321
I mean, I wasn't the best-looking guy
in the room, but...

1480
01:37:07,905 --> 01:37:08,948
Alan loved me.

1481
01:37:12,035 --> 01:37:13,453
He thought I was beautiful.

1482
01:37:17,457 --> 01:37:18,499
Okay.

1483
01:37:21,002 --> 01:37:22,962
Halfway through the semester,

1484
01:37:24,213 --> 01:37:27,759
he started meeting me
during my office hours.

1485
01:37:27,842 --> 01:37:31,804
And we were...
We were crazy about one another.

1486
01:37:31,888 --> 01:37:33,598
But we waited

1487
01:37:33,681 --> 01:37:36,476
until the class was over before...

1488
01:37:36,559 --> 01:37:37,977
This isn't, uh...

1489
01:37:38,061 --> 01:37:41,064
It was just after classes
had ended for the year.

1490
01:37:41,147 --> 01:37:43,608
It was perfect temperature outside.

1491
01:37:44,400 --> 01:37:46,444
We took a walk in the arboretum,

1492
01:37:48,863 --> 01:37:52,075
- and we kissed.
- Charlie, stop.

1493
01:37:52,158 --> 01:37:55,995
We would spend entire nights
lying together, naked.

1494
01:37:57,997 --> 01:37:59,374
We would make love.

1495
01:38:04,921 --> 01:38:06,214
We would make love.

1496
01:38:09,467 --> 01:38:10,968
Do you find that disgusting?

1497
01:38:11,052 --> 01:38:12,762
Charlie, God is ready to help you.

1498
01:38:12,845 --> 01:38:15,765
Oh, I hope that there isn't a God,

1499
01:38:15,848 --> 01:38:18,935
because I hate to think
that there's an afterlife,

1500
01:38:19,018 --> 01:38:22,563
and that Alan can see
what I have done to myself.

1501
01:38:22,647 --> 01:38:25,650
- Charlie...
- That he can see my swollen feet

1502
01:38:25,733 --> 01:38:27,527
and the sores on my skin,

1503
01:38:27,610 --> 01:38:29,862
and the patches of mold
in between the flaps.

1504
01:38:29,946 --> 01:38:32,323
- Stop.
- The infected ulcers on my ass,

1505
01:38:32,407 --> 01:38:35,993
and the sack of fat on my back
that turned brown last year.

1506
01:38:36,077 --> 01:38:37,995
- Okay, stop!
- This is disgusting?

1507
01:38:38,079 --> 01:38:40,164
- Yes!
- I'm disgusting?

1508
01:38:40,248 --> 01:38:42,083
[shouting]
Yes, you're disgusting! You're...

1509
01:38:53,511 --> 01:38:55,680
[breath shuddering, whispering] I'm sorry.

1510
01:38:58,975 --> 01:39:00,017
What?

1511
01:39:03,396 --> 01:39:05,648
Go home to your family.

1512
01:39:16,033 --> 01:39:18,327
- [Charlie coughs]
- [door opens]

1513
01:39:19,787 --> 01:39:22,748
- [door closes]
- [continues coughing]

1514
01:39:25,626 --> 01:39:27,336
[coughs heavily]

1515
01:39:54,614 --> 01:39:58,242
Well, your complaints have been heard.

1516
01:39:58,326 --> 01:40:01,746
I've been replaced
by someone who will, no doubt,

1517
01:40:01,829 --> 01:40:05,583
have you rewrite,
and rewrite, and rewrite,

1518
01:40:05,666 --> 01:40:08,794
be more objective,

1519
01:40:08,878 --> 01:40:13,257
less authentic, less you,
with every draft.

1520
01:40:15,760 --> 01:40:19,388
But some of you saw my post

1521
01:40:19,472 --> 01:40:22,808
about writing something honest.

1522
01:40:25,811 --> 01:40:26,812
And...

1523
01:40:27,939 --> 01:40:29,065
[sighs]

1524
01:40:30,191 --> 01:40:32,109
...the things that some of you wrote...

1525
01:40:33,945 --> 01:40:35,404
Kristy, you wrote,

1526
01:40:36,364 --> 01:40:39,450
"My parents want me to be a radiologist,

1527
01:40:39,534 --> 01:40:42,537
but I don't even know what that is."

1528
01:40:48,668 --> 01:40:49,794
Julian, you wrote,

1529
01:40:49,877 --> 01:40:53,881
"I'm sick of people telling me
that I have promise."

1530
01:41:01,264 --> 01:41:02,431
Adam, you wrote,

1531
01:41:03,641 --> 01:41:08,187
"I think I need to accept that my life
isn't going to be very exciting."

1532
01:41:11,107 --> 01:41:15,778
You all wrote these amazing,
honest things, and...

1533
01:41:17,738 --> 01:41:20,074
you've been so honest with me
that I... I...

1534
01:41:23,369 --> 01:41:24,453
[grunts softly]

1535
01:41:25,454 --> 01:41:26,998
I just want to be

1536
01:41:28,332 --> 01:41:30,084
honest with you, too.

1537
01:41:30,960 --> 01:41:32,044
[exhales]

1538
01:41:35,339 --> 01:41:36,674
[breathes deeply]

1539
01:42:05,328 --> 01:42:06,662
[sighs heavily]

1540
01:42:12,084 --> 01:42:13,836
<i>These assignments don't matter.</i>

1541
01:42:15,463 --> 01:42:17,006
<i>This course doesn't matter.</i>

1542
01:42:18,966 --> 01:42:20,176
<i>College doesn't matter.</i>

1543
01:42:22,553 --> 01:42:25,514
<i>These amazing, honest things
that you wrote...</i>

1544
01:42:29,518 --> 01:42:30,603
they matter.

1545
01:42:34,649 --> 01:42:35,816
[laptop crashes]

1546
01:42:38,277 --> 01:42:39,945
[Charlie wheezes]

1547
01:42:50,122 --> 01:42:51,415
[coughs]

1548
01:43:06,097 --> 01:43:07,932
[wheezing continues]

1549
01:43:11,811 --> 01:43:13,854
- I'm sorry.
- Don't.

1550
01:43:20,403 --> 01:43:22,154
[breathes erratically]

1551
01:43:24,782 --> 01:43:26,367
[suppresses grunt]

1552
01:43:30,246 --> 01:43:32,790
I really hate you for putting me
through this again, you know that?

1553
01:43:35,918 --> 01:43:37,378
Those last few months before Alan...

1554
01:43:38,963 --> 01:43:41,340
I'd come over here,
shake him, scream at him,

1555
01:43:41,424 --> 01:43:43,384
just trying to get him
to fucking eat something.

1556
01:43:43,467 --> 01:43:46,095
- God, that was awful!
- It was awful for me, too.

1557
01:43:46,178 --> 01:43:48,889
Yeah? Well, you weren't the one
who had to identify his body,

1558
01:43:48,973 --> 01:43:50,891
- all bloated...
- They wouldn't let me.

1559
01:43:52,143 --> 01:43:53,644
I wasn't family.

1560
01:43:55,146 --> 01:43:56,272
[sighs]

1561
01:44:02,611 --> 01:44:04,613
[Charlie coughs and wheezes]

1562
01:44:07,575 --> 01:44:09,994
I got you two meatball subs. Extra cheese.

1563
01:44:15,207 --> 01:44:16,792
[sighs, sniffles]

1564
01:44:16,876 --> 01:44:18,210
I don't know what I'm doing.

1565
01:44:24,425 --> 01:44:26,093
[breathes heavily]

1566
01:44:26,719 --> 01:44:28,846
I'm not going to the hospital.

1567
01:44:28,929 --> 01:44:30,389
I'm not asking you to.

1568
01:44:35,853 --> 01:44:37,938
I can't do this anymore.

1569
01:44:40,775 --> 01:44:42,526
I tried to save him, Liz.

1570
01:44:45,780 --> 01:44:47,823
I thought that if I just loved him,

1571
01:44:50,659 --> 01:44:52,536
that he wouldn't need anyone else.

1572
01:44:55,289 --> 01:44:57,124
I told him he didn't need God,

1573
01:44:58,125 --> 01:45:01,629
he didn't need anyone but me.

1574
01:45:03,339 --> 01:45:04,340
Charlie,

1575
01:45:05,925 --> 01:45:08,928
all I know is that you gave Alan
the best years of his life.

1576
01:45:09,011 --> 01:45:12,223
If it weren't for you, he would have
jumped off that bridge years earlier.

1577
01:45:13,265 --> 01:45:17,061
Nobody could've saved him.
Believe me, I spent years trying.

1578
01:45:17,144 --> 01:45:18,687
[breathes heavily]

1579
01:45:20,397 --> 01:45:23,484
I don't think I believe anyone
can save anyone.

1580
01:45:29,490 --> 01:45:30,574
She saved him.

1581
01:45:33,118 --> 01:45:36,872
She wasn't trying to hurt him.
She was trying to help him.

1582
01:45:36,956 --> 01:45:38,582
Who are you talking about?

1583
01:45:39,250 --> 01:45:41,585
He's going home. She did that.

1584
01:45:42,878 --> 01:45:45,089
- Charlie...
- She didn't do it to hurt him,

1585
01:45:45,756 --> 01:45:48,217
she did it to send him home.

1586
01:45:49,593 --> 01:45:51,929
Do you feel light-headed?
Charlie, look at me.

1587
01:45:52,012 --> 01:45:54,515
- She was trying to help him.
- Who?

1588
01:45:55,599 --> 01:45:58,686
Ellie. She was trying to help him.

1589
01:45:59,270 --> 01:46:01,188
She just wanted to send him home.

1590
01:46:03,774 --> 01:46:07,695
Do you ever get the feeling that...

1591
01:46:09,446 --> 01:46:13,075
people are incapable of not caring?

1592
01:46:18,414 --> 01:46:20,207
People are amazing.

1593
01:46:21,458 --> 01:46:22,459
[door opens]

1594
01:46:23,502 --> 01:46:24,670
What the fuck did you do?

1595
01:46:27,840 --> 01:46:28,883
What's wrong with him?

1596
01:46:31,093 --> 01:46:32,094
He's dying.

1597
01:46:33,971 --> 01:46:35,222
So, call someone.

1598
01:46:35,306 --> 01:46:38,100
- [softly] No.
- Call a fucking ambulance!

1599
01:46:38,183 --> 01:46:39,184
Liz.

1600
01:46:40,144 --> 01:46:42,730
- I need to talk to him.
- I'm not leaving you alone with him.

1601
01:46:42,813 --> 01:46:44,064
I need to talk to him alone.

1602
01:46:44,148 --> 01:46:45,399
[softly] Liz.

1603
01:46:48,360 --> 01:46:49,445
Please.

1604
01:46:54,116 --> 01:46:55,159
Okay.

1605
01:47:01,373 --> 01:47:03,417
[stifled sobbing]

1606
01:47:12,843 --> 01:47:14,136
[Liz] I'll call someone.

1607
01:47:16,931 --> 01:47:17,932
Charlie.

1608
01:47:21,101 --> 01:47:22,603
I'll wait downstairs.

1609
01:47:30,194 --> 01:47:32,404
- Why'd you do that?
- [chuckling] What?

1610
01:47:34,490 --> 01:47:35,491
I failed.

1611
01:47:36,241 --> 01:47:37,451
It's a really good essay.

1612
01:47:37,534 --> 01:47:40,704
Are you just trying to screw me over
one last time?

1613
01:47:40,788 --> 01:47:42,748
I don't care about you!
I don't care that you're dying.

1614
01:47:42,831 --> 01:47:44,208
Do you want me to fail out of high school?

1615
01:47:44,291 --> 01:47:46,251
- Is that why you did this?
- I didn't write it.

1616
01:47:46,335 --> 01:47:48,587
This is the essay
that you gave me yesterday.

1617
01:47:48,671 --> 01:47:50,506
- You didn't read it.
- I don't need to read it.

1618
01:47:51,090 --> 01:47:52,091
Read it.

1619
01:47:56,303 --> 01:47:58,389
[breathing laboriously]

1620
01:48:03,602 --> 01:48:04,603
This is...

1621
01:48:06,105 --> 01:48:07,523
I know what this is.

1622
01:48:07,606 --> 01:48:09,650
[chuckling] I knew you would.

1623
01:48:10,651 --> 01:48:11,735
I wrote this.

1624
01:48:14,071 --> 01:48:15,698
You never forget anything.

1625
01:48:15,781 --> 01:48:18,575
I wrote this in eighth grade for English.
Why do you...

1626
01:48:18,659 --> 01:48:20,744
"And I felt saddest of all

1627
01:48:20,828 --> 01:48:22,997
when I read the boring chapters

1628
01:48:23,080 --> 01:48:25,374
that were only descriptions of whales,

1629
01:48:25,457 --> 01:48:28,752
because I knew that

1630
01:48:28,836 --> 01:48:32,464
the author was just trying to save us

1631
01:48:32,548 --> 01:48:35,551
from his own sad story,

1632
01:48:36,635 --> 01:48:38,762
just for a little while."

1633
01:48:38,846 --> 01:48:40,472
- [Charlie chuckles]
- [sniffles]

1634
01:48:40,556 --> 01:48:43,017
- How do you have this?
- Your mother,

1635
01:48:43,100 --> 01:48:45,436
she sent it to me four years ago.

1636
01:48:45,519 --> 01:48:47,813
I wanted to know
how you were doing in school,

1637
01:48:47,896 --> 01:48:49,898
and she sent it.

1638
01:48:49,982 --> 01:48:53,235
And it's the best essay I've ever read.

1639
01:48:53,318 --> 01:48:55,571
[sobs] Why are you fucking
with me like this?

1640
01:48:55,654 --> 01:48:56,947
I'm not.

1641
01:48:57,865 --> 01:48:59,199
[sobs]

1642
01:48:59,283 --> 01:49:01,452
I'm sorry for leaving you.

1643
01:49:03,662 --> 01:49:06,290
I was in love, and...

1644
01:49:07,082 --> 01:49:09,334
[inhales laboriously] I left you behind.

1645
01:49:10,878 --> 01:49:14,339
- You did not deserve that.
- I don't...

1646
01:49:14,423 --> 01:49:16,675
I don't know how [inhales laboriously]

1647
01:49:16,759 --> 01:49:18,594
I could have done such a thing.

1648
01:49:18,677 --> 01:49:20,971
You're so beautiful. [sobs]

1649
01:49:21,055 --> 01:49:23,390
- You're amazing.
- Stop.

1650
01:49:25,267 --> 01:49:27,978
- You're amazing.
- [sobs]

1651
01:49:28,771 --> 01:49:30,939
This essay is amazing.

1652
01:49:32,649 --> 01:49:35,194
This essay is you.

1653
01:49:35,277 --> 01:49:36,445
Stop saying that.

1654
01:49:36,528 --> 01:49:39,948
- This essay is you.
- Stop saying that!

1655
01:49:40,032 --> 01:49:43,118
You're the best thing I have ever done.

1656
01:49:43,202 --> 01:49:44,578
[cries out in pain]

1657
01:49:44,661 --> 01:49:46,747
- [coughs]
- What's the matter?

1658
01:49:46,830 --> 01:49:47,831
Ellie!

1659
01:49:47,915 --> 01:49:49,833
No. Okay, I can't be here right now.

1660
01:49:49,917 --> 01:49:51,752
- I have to go.
- You're perfect.

1661
01:49:51,835 --> 01:49:53,378
You'll be happy.

1662
01:49:54,338 --> 01:49:57,216
You care about people. [sobs]

1663
01:49:57,299 --> 01:49:58,801
The ambulance is coming, they'll help you.

1664
01:49:58,884 --> 01:50:00,511
No. They won't.

1665
01:50:00,594 --> 01:50:02,721
- You're going to the hospital.
- No.

1666
01:50:03,347 --> 01:50:05,349
You just need surgery, or something!

1667
01:50:05,432 --> 01:50:08,894
- Read it to me. [grunts]
- What?

1668
01:50:08,977 --> 01:50:12,773
[struggling] If you want to help,
read it to me.

1669
01:50:13,690 --> 01:50:16,360
You'll help if you read it.

1670
01:50:16,443 --> 01:50:18,946
You asshole. You fat fucking asshole!

1671
01:50:19,029 --> 01:50:20,155
- You'll help...
- Fuck you.

1672
01:50:20,239 --> 01:50:21,532
- Please.
- Fuck you!

1673
01:50:21,615 --> 01:50:22,699
Ellie!

1674
01:50:25,994 --> 01:50:27,538
[sobbing] Daddy, please.

1675
01:50:35,587 --> 01:50:37,214
[sniffling]

1676
01:50:46,431 --> 01:50:49,935
"In the amazing book, <i>Moby Dick,</i>
by the author Herman Melville,

1677
01:50:50,018 --> 01:50:52,312
the author recounts his story
of being at sea.

1678
01:50:52,938 --> 01:50:56,358
In the first part of his book,
the author, calling himself Ishmael,

1679
01:50:56,441 --> 01:50:58,068
is in a small seaside town

1680
01:50:58,152 --> 01:51:00,863
and he is sharing a bed
with a man named Queequeg.

1681
01:51:00,946 --> 01:51:03,574
The author and Queequeg go to church

1682
01:51:03,657 --> 01:51:06,535
and later set out on a ship
captained by a pirate named Ahab,

1683
01:51:06,618 --> 01:51:07,828
who is missing a leg,

1684
01:51:08,871 --> 01:51:10,289
and very much wants to kill the whale

1685
01:51:10,372 --> 01:51:13,041
which is named Moby Dick,
and which is white.

1686
01:51:13,709 --> 01:51:18,380
In the course of the book,
the pirate Ahab encounters many hardships.

1687
01:51:18,463 --> 01:51:21,633
His entire life is set around
trying to kill a certain whale.

1688
01:51:22,384 --> 01:51:25,012
I think this is sad because this whale
doesn't have any emotions,

1689
01:51:25,095 --> 01:51:27,222
and doesn't know
how bad Ahab wants to kill him.

1690
01:51:27,306 --> 01:51:29,099
He's just a poor

1691
01:51:29,183 --> 01:51:31,935
big animal."

1692
01:51:32,019 --> 01:51:35,063
[Charlie gasping for breath]

1693
01:51:35,147 --> 01:51:37,065
"And I feel bad for Ahab as well,

1694
01:51:37,149 --> 01:51:38,650
because he thinks
that his life will be better

1695
01:51:38,734 --> 01:51:40,360
if he can just kill this whale,

1696
01:51:40,444 --> 01:51:42,237
but in reality, it won't help him at all."

1697
01:51:43,322 --> 01:51:45,574
[Charlie breathing shallowly]

1698
01:51:45,657 --> 01:51:47,576
"I was very saddened by this book,

1699
01:51:48,535 --> 01:51:50,537
and I felt many emotions
for the characters.

1700
01:51:53,290 --> 01:51:55,959
And I felt saddest of all
when I read the boring chapters

1701
01:51:56,043 --> 01:51:58,086
that were only descriptions of whales,

1702
01:51:58,170 --> 01:52:00,714
because I knew that the author
was just trying to save us

1703
01:52:00,797 --> 01:52:02,174
from his own sad story,

1704
01:52:02,966 --> 01:52:04,092
just for a little while."

1705
01:52:04,176 --> 01:52:05,594
[gasping]

1706
01:52:05,677 --> 01:52:07,095
[waves lapping]

1707
01:52:07,179 --> 01:52:09,640
[emotional music playing]

1708
01:52:12,142 --> 01:52:14,144
"This book made me think
about my own life,

1709
01:52:15,479 --> 01:52:17,314
and then it made me feel glad for my..."

1710
01:52:17,940 --> 01:52:19,524
[breathing erratically]

1711
01:52:21,443 --> 01:52:22,527
[laughing]

1712
01:52:22,611 --> 01:52:23,570
[chuckles]

1713
01:52:23,654 --> 01:52:25,072
[music swells]

1714
01:52:25,697 --> 01:52:26,823
[gasps]

1715
01:52:34,539 --> 01:52:36,083
[waves crashing]

1716
01:52:37,459 --> 01:52:39,878
[emotional music continues]

1717
01:54:01,376 --> 01:54:03,170
[grim music playing]

1718
01:54:12,387 --> 01:54:14,389
[waves crashing gently]

1719
01:56:31,818 --> 01:56:33,445
[music fades]