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NETFLIX PRESENTS
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We are at war.
A public health war, granted.
We're not fighting an army, nor a nation, but the enemy is here.
Invisible, elusive and always advancing.
And this requires all of us to mobilize.
We are at war.
I am calling on all political, economic, social and non-profit entities,
on all French citizens, to enlist in this national unity
that has enabled our country to overcome so many crises in the past.
We are at war.
It is war, but there are no soldiers. I don't get it at all.
Everyone's cheering, but there's no one there. Just empty streets.
LOCKDOWN - EQUALITY - FRATERNITY
At first, I thought it was super weird.
Then my sister told me, "We're cheering to support the hospital workers."
That way, if we get sick, they'll take better care of us, basically.
My mother isn't here, but she'll be back soon. She promised me.
She's mad at my father because she thinks he's a know-it-all.
But I don't get it, knowing it all is awesome!
But, well, my father told me,
"Basile, don't bother trying to understand women."
Those guys are hypochondriacs. It's freaky how scared they are.
My father doesn't like them. Neither do I.
Except for their daughter.
You can tell by her eyes that she's gorgeous under the mask.
I never noticed her before.
And now I see her everyday, but I can't see her anymore.
Seriously, life is messed up.
I don't know them.
Those either. And those ran off to the countryside.
"Like big cowards," Dad says.
I don't know him.
Oh, I know him. The biologist from the test lab.
My father says, "Thanks to COVID, he'll get his balls covered in gold."
I don't wanna have golden balls.
It must hurt, and be too heavy in your pants, right?
Oh, the owner of the bar downstairs.
Poor lady had to close.
Dad hopes she'll go bankrupt or die of COVID.
That way he can buy the place cheap and open another vape shop.
My father has a bunch of them.
I'll let you in on a little secret.
He isn't cheering for the hospitals, he's cheering for COVID.
Because he says it only kills old people and they're useless and cost a lot money.
My father's not scared, and neither am I.
We cheer the loudest in the building because we own our place,
while everyone else rents.
My father always says,
"Renters complain all the time and they're all lazy bums." He's right.
Thank you.
That's a lot.
We'll have to change and do the laundry.
Martin, we're not changing. We were on our balcony.
The virus is airborne.
Oh, yeah? Who said that?
Our family doctor who had it.
Of course he had it. He's in contact with patients.
-If my doctor dies, I won't get over it. -He'll get better.
The mortality rate is 1%.
-You say that so coldly. -It's true.
We should have gone to the mountains with your parents.
Well, there are no more trains or flights. We could've gone to your parents.
It's just a two-hour drive.
Are you insane? We could kill them.
So mine can die?
No, but they're not asthmatic.
Your parents aren't asthmatic.
Neither are yours.
Ugh, Basile! That's so gross!
Oh, no, shit!
The dog can't take anymore. He needs a walk.
No, no, no. He's fine. He doesn't need to go out now.
So we can't take the dog outside now?
It's his own fault. He sniffs around too much.
Well, yeah, he's a dog.
Besides, animals can't catch it.
Wait. "Animals can't catch it"? Here, look.
Tomorrow's headline, "Cats carry the virus, first confirmed case."
-Stop it. You're freaking me out. -It's a pandemic, Claire.
Mom? I don't want to die from coronavirus.
Oh, sweetie, you're not gonna die. No one here is gonna die.
Your father likes to exaggerate. You know that.
Not at all. It starts with a cold.
A light flu, then it gets in the lungs, and it clings to you.
It squeezes you and you can't breathe anymore.
-And you suffocate to death. -No, no, Martin, you have to stop it!
Breathe, breathe.
Martin, we're following public health measures outside.
We're doing everything we can. Okay?
But when we're locked down inside…
-Chill. -Yeah.
Who's there? We can't let anyone in.
-I'll get it. -No, no!
No! No, no, no! Wait!
Don't open it.
It's COVID!
Mr. and Mrs. Becquart?
It's Diego. I'm Paola's husband, the caretaker.
-Hello, Diego. -Oh, I'm sorry.
-I stepped in the vinegar. -No big deal.
-No! -Hey!
-98. -Martin!
Yes?
-You're sick. -I am?
Stop this nonsense.
Amazon package? Asshole upstairs.
Oh. Oh, right, "Mr. Tony Boghassian."
Why are you the one delivering the mail, Diego?
Where is your wife?
Diego, where is your wife right now?
-At the hospital. -Get away!
Martin, it's okay.
She might not have COVID. There are other reasons.
Yes, you're right.
What's happening with your wife, Diego?
-COVID. -Ah! Get away from us! Close the door!
I'm completely fine. I'm not sick.
Yes, but you're asymptomatic.
No, I'm Catholic. But religion isn't for everyone.
Well, no, no, Diego.
"Asymptomatic" means you're not showing any signs of the disease.
Oh, I know. It was a joke.
Funny. Thank you. Goodbye.
Martin, stop it. That's enough.
He's been exposed, yeah, but that doesn't mean he has it.
When you're in the common areas,
you should always wear a mask at all times.
I couldn't find any.
Then go get tested. You've had close contact.
Go to the lab downstairs.
In fact, the whole building should get tested.
And tell them to give masks to all the residents
for the safety of the building.
-You won't forget, yeah? -Mmm, yes…
Here, in the meantime, take this.
-There you go. -Thank you.
-Depleting our stock? -He needs it more than we do.
It's important to stay alive. But it's important to stay human.
-"It's important--" -Basile!
-What? -Yes, I'm walking the dog.
All right, come on.
Oh, Diego.
Sí?
The new girl, the one who never cheers, do you know who she is?
Oh, no.
I don't know if she's Sandrine's friend, or if she's subletting or what.
-Or worse, if she's squatting! -Huh?
She not respecting lockdown.
She avoids us. It's shady.
You should track her comings and goings and…
Huh?
-Hmm? -No, no, no!
…talk to you. Put the kids back on.
Hang on. No, you lost your temper too.
Of course I lost my temper!
You called me a dumb bitch in front of our children.
Yeah, but the kids aren't going to school anymore. They're home 24/7.
Tony, you need to stop behaving like this. Are you even aware of your verbal abuse?
What example are you setting for our children?
-I won't be humiliated like this. -She's crazy, man.
Where is the man I fell in love with 20 years ago, huh?
Well, he's… He's here, my love. He…
He's at home, waiting for you.
You tell me, "Tony, come over," I'm there. One drive, and I'm holding you.
Dad!
Can I have my phone back? Come on, give me my phone.
-Put Victoria back on. -Hold on.
Oh, it's the drone!
What useless gadget is it now? You bought a drone?
-I'm gonna open it. -No!
Yeah, excuse me for keeping them busy.
Not by buying them off, Tony. That's the problem.
-Dad! -Come on, let go! Let go.
Victoria, just give it to him!
Why the hell do you care?
It's always about him. I'm tired of it!
That's not even true!
Victoria, don't take that tone with me! I'm your father!
It's easy to "just" take care of the kids, as you keep saying, huh?
Isa, you know, you need to come home now. It's a mess here.
Homework, food, my employees on furlough. It's…
The place is disgusting.
And the caretaker stopped coming. I don't know what that bitch is doing!
Um… I'm Diego, the caretaker's husband. Paola?
Yeah, I know.
-Hmm. -Tony, you there?
Anyway, switching gears. Did you know the caretaker was married?
Uh, yes, I knew. Yes. Uh… Good evening, Diego.
-Good evening, Mrs. Isabelle. -My wife…
Please excuse my husband. He's a dumbass.
-But he's harmless. That's all… Right? -Mmm, yes. Oh, yes.
Just some teasing between immigrants. Right, Diego?
-Uh, I'm French. -Yeah.
How is Paola? She's not sick, I hope?
A little. She has a cough, but she'll be all right.
-Oh! -So she has COVID?
Yes.
Oh, dear, Diego. I'm so sorry for your wife.
Thank you.
So, basically the place isn't getting cleaned soon.
Listen, Isa, you need to make a decision and call me when you've made it.
-Because we're talking in circles. -That's exactly right.
I'll call you back.
Basile! No!
The drone is for the courtyard. I already told you!
Yes, but I'm just trying it out.
-Hey, let me try. -No.
-Basile. Basile! -No. No.
-Just for a minute. -No, stop, no. No!
Of course!
-I told you! I told you! -No!
-Oh, no. -Oh, yes!
-My… My drone! Dad, my… -Well, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah. That's an outdoor toy. -No.
-Maybe if you'd listened-- -No!
Don't get worked up. It won't do any good.
Basile, I'll buy you a new one.
I'm sick of you!
Come on in.
See, what I would like is for you to clean up in here.
-No. -Yes.
-No. I can't do that. -Yes.
I'm a mechanic. Not a cleaning lady.
Ten euros an hour.
Under the table.
But you pay my wife 15.
Yes, but you just said you're a mechanic, didn't you?
No, I can't do it.
With the mail, the trash, the building, it's already a lot.
Do you smoke?
-Sometimes. -Here. Look.
The big red off-road in the courtyard is mine.
How about you wash it too? Here, a present.
-That's worth 300 euros. -Yes, yes. Thank you.
What the fuck do I care?
Oh, fuck. There it is. She's at it again. Lady Gaga.
Can you ask her to shut up?
-Okay? -Mmm, okay.
Yes.
I need to make, uh…
Hey!
Here we go, uh…
-Baby. -Yes?
I'm about to start my livestream.
-Hmm? Okay, let me just finish. -Yeah.
I, like, love it. I mean it. I truly think it's beautiful.
Thank you.
No, but it's great. But could you, um…
-Yes? -…move over a bit?
-Oh, yes, yes. -So I can livestream.
-I'll let you work. -Oh, yeah.
-Here okay? Okay. -Mmm-hmm.
-It's fine. I can go on my own. Yes. -Ah… Yeah, I know.
Oh… I have to check the frame, so…
-Right here? -No, sorry, babe.
I don't want people to know about our private lives.
I'm trying to protect us.
-I know, honey. -Hang on a sec.
Here's an idea.
-Sorry. -Oh.
-There you go. -Sorry. Okay.
-Here. -All right, come on.
For real? The camera just loves you.
-Oh, yeah? -Yeah, you're in the shot.
Uh, okay, should I move back?
-Yeah. -Okay.
-Yeah, more back. More… -Here?
-More. -Then I'd be outside.
Oh, yeah! Yes! Yeah, great idea. Get out.
Guess I'll go then. Okay.
-Yeah, go ahead. Okay. -Okay.
Okay, so basically I'm on the balcony.
Why, are you cold?
-Uh… -Here. Wrap up.
-Thanks. -You're welcome, babe. I love you.
-I love you too, honey. -Aw.
-All right. Yeah. -Have a good class.
Hey, Fitgirls! It's me!
And today… Hang on, how many do we have? 2,035 viewers.
Let's wait for one second.
What are we doing today? Abs, butt? All right, we love it.
In the meantime, let's warm up.
Here we go. I have two times two…
Two… Two six-packs of 1.5 liter bottles.
That's about 12 bottles of 1.5 liters.
So 12 times one liter…
Twelve times 1.5 liters, that's, uh…
That's six… That's sixteen. Uh…
Eighteen!
Thank you! My neighbor.
One… Four…
Five. Six.
Yeah.
Keep with me…
GABRIEL MEDICAL RESEARCH AND TESTING LABORATORY
It is clear that SARS-Cov-2 modifies and alters
the phosphorylation of the proteinaceous enzyme kinase in rats,
in order to sustain its cellular transmission… Uh…
Full stop.
Uh… The first vaccine test on rodents is…
Inconclusive. Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Ah! Rodent C has assimilated the vaccine dose and has survived.
Very briefly.
Shit.
-What do you want, Louise? -Are you open?
Yes, why?
There's no secretary. There's no one here.
They've all been furloughed! They're scared.
Given the state of your rats, I get it.
-It's research. -For rat poison?
-The vaccine, Louise! -Oh.
-What is everyone searching for right now? -Oh, well, that's great.
You used to test urine here, and now you're making vaccines?
Bravo.
I worked at Pasteur Institute.
Got fired?
I chose to leave.
Oh.
So do you have my urine?
Your urine? I don't have the time. Not this month.
If you don't mind, save me some of your rat poison for my basement.
I mean, there's no rush. It's… It's…
Yes? Hmm.
Yes, yes, my little Lili.
It's time for your walk.
Give it to me, Doctor. I'll throw it out for you.
No, no. I can take care of it myself.
Doctor, um, the residents would like some extra masks.
There's a shortage of masks right now.
-And for everyone to be tested. -Tested!
Tested… Everyone wants to get tested today. What's the point?
My wife has COVID.
It's possible I caught it too.
People in the building are scared.
-Where's your wife? -In the hospital.
-Mmm. -It's been two weeks now.
-They say to call if I have a fever. -Hmm.
Oh.
No, it's been too long. You'd already have it.
Did you use the wrong dumpster?
No. No, organic waste, it's all good.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, Lili.
We're going for a walk.
Very good, very good.
What is that?
It's the Dubreuils' guinea pig.
They rushed off to the countryside.
In their panic, they forgot Lili.
-That's wonderful! -Yes.
-She's very cute, yeah? -Oh, Diego!
Diego…
As you know, it's an emergency, and I must test my COVID vaccine.
I'm out of test subjects. There's a shortage.
This guinea pig…
is the perfect guinea pig.
No, no, no, I can't do that.
When she went to the hospital,
Paola made me swear to take good care of the guinea pig.
Diego.
Who do you prefer, your wife or the guinea pig?
My wife.
Well, that's not the impression you're giving.
Yes! Yes, yes, yes.
But what if Lili dies?
Guinea pigs are rodents, they…
-Those bastards are resistant! -They are?
-Of course. -They are resistant?
Very resistant. Diego, let's not waste time.
I am this close to succeeding.
Science is counting on me.
I find the cure, and I take care of your wife.
And, Paola, hop! À la casa.
All right.
-Lili… -Lili…
Hmm?
Hey, Doctor! About testing the residents?
Tell them tomorrow at 9:00. Just come down.
Tomorrow morning at 9:00.
Nine.
My bar.
Hmm.
How are you, Raoul?
Bartlett '84. Remember?
Mmm. Not bad.
What now?
Let's hurry up, so we're first in line.
He might not have enough tests for everyone.
Buddy, you need to clear this.
This stuff is gonna attract mice and roaches.
I'm sorry, desperate times call for desperate measures. Not too close.
So two idiots in China eat a penguin
and the stairwell becomes your pantry? That it?
-A pangolin, Dad. -Who cares?
Uh…
-This is the common area, Mr. Renter. -No, no.
Yes, yes, yes.
Ridiculous.
-Claire, can we go? -Yeah.
Hurry up with your shoes and get us some clean masks, yeah?
The box is empty, Dad.
-Yeah. Thanks to your mom. -Look inside the kitchen drawer.
There aren't any left.
-Careful. -Thanks.
Great, everyone is getting in front of us.
It's… It's irresponsible to all go downstairs at the same time.
Are you aware there's a pandemic?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We watch the news all day, just like you.
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey! Hang on. What's this? Stay three feet apart.
Okay, fine.
I'm sorry, but it smells really strongly of vinegar.
It's unbearable.
Sorry, madam, that's what disinfection smells like.
Claire, Louna, can we go?
Careful, careful.
Can you move aside a little, so we can go downstairs?
Yes, yes, yes, well…
-But we're going downstairs too. -Come on.
No, no, it's… I'm telling you, we're way too close.
It's very dangerous. For you and for me.
-Look. Actually my wife is… -Okay.
-Oh! Congratulations. -Yeah… You see?
Thank you.
-So, yeah, she has priority for the test. -Yeah.
-Oh. Right.
-It's all good. So, uh… -Uh, yeah… but, uh…
Yeah, yeah.
Take a left there.
Yeah. Nice parallel parking, buddy.
Head on down.
Okay, Claire, I'm going downstairs!
What? Do you want a photo?
No, no. Stand in groups per family, nicely spread out. Please!
MEDICAL TESTING LABORATORY
You're not realizing how contagious this virus is.
Then give us masks, okay.
-The WHO says they're useless. -Everyone in Asia wears them.
-Why are there none in Europe? -I don't know.
Is it the same virus as in China? It hasn't mutated?
Uh, we're not sure. We don't know.
So you don't know anything. Why are we here then?
Hey, show some respect!
-He's a great scientist. -Huh.
He does more than just test stool and urine.
Isn't that right, Doctor?
Listen, I heard that the caretaker tested positive.
-Of course. -No.
I'm going to have to test all of you.
-Oh, no way. It can't be. -Paola has COVID?
-Mmm-hmm. -Shit! She handed me my mail!
This isn't happening. Do I have to throw it out?
Does the virus stick to objects?
It shouldn't. But we don't know.
He knows nothing.
But shouldn't Diego go into quarantine?
Listen, uh…
He doesn't know. Mmm.
But… But how is Paola?
She's good, but I'm not allowed to visit her.
Don't worry, Diego. She's a tough one. She gonna pull through.
We don't know.
Only yesterday, a 33-year-old patient died,
and he was in perfect health, like you!
-You're crazy. Why're you telling me this? -Because we do know that.
But how do we know if we have it or not?
You can feel it inside you.
No, wait. There's no need to worry if you have no obvious symptoms.
Difficulty breathing…
Feeling weighed down…
Uh, dry cough, fatigue, fever…
Loss of sense of taste and smell…
-Diarrhea. -Mmm…
You don't have diarrhea.
No, but my stomach hurts. And I can't smell anything.
-There's nothing to smell. -But I can't smell that "nothing."
I wish I could lose my sense of taste,
given what my dad is feeding us.
-It's gross. -It's so gross.
Anyway, this whole mess will be over in two weeks.
-I'll be able to get back to work. -Mmm-hmm.
And not see all your panicky faces anymore.
Hey! No one is panicking here. Please respect your neighbors.
I'm sorry, but you're all freaking out like sheep
in front of a scientist who doesn't know anything.
About something we don't even know exists.
-Oh… -So hang on.
If I want to go outside, and catch this shit, that's up to me.
-And give it to everyone in the building. -Oh, relax.
They don't outlaw drinking and smoking. And that kills too.
Well, drinking and smoking aren't contagious like the 'Rona.
Now, don't call it "'Rona."
Ah, yes, the female influence. No wonder this is a mess.
Oh, well…You sure know how to talk to women.
Thanks, it's true. I'm pretty good at it.
So hurry up and find the vaccine. Because I need to reopen my bar.
I agree entirely, Louise. Let's do the tests.
Because while we're chatting, science is stalling. Diego!
No, no!
Sounds like hell.
Well, it's an RT-PCR test. It's a big cotton swab. Not very pleasant.
Ah! Other nostril.
So after the torture session, celebratory drinks at my bar?
But didn't you listen outside?
Hey, I need to keep the place afloat.
I think it's a little early for drinks, don't you?
Besides, aren't you closed?
Who said anything about opening? I can serve you in the courtyard.
Well, thank you, Miss Party Pooper. I got the message. So much for solidarity.
It really hurt.
-Who's next? -Yes, thank you. Thank you.
I don't test children. They don't have to wait.
-Mom, can I play outside with Basile? -Yeah, sure.
Oh, yeah. Awesome.
Not you. My dog.
Oh, loser!
Ow! Basile!
-Knock it off. Hey, hey! -Beat it!
Oh!
Dad!
You really asked for it.
-Could you give me a few masks? -No!
There's a lab in the States that's testing a vaccine.
Yes, yes, yes.
-They're in phase three. -Of course, I'm aware.
We should be cautious. Don't wanna draw conclusions.
-Yeah. Yeah. -Lots of fake news.
Media information is not scientific information.
So shall we?
-That's long… -Relax. Tilt your head back. There…
-It's easy, right? -Nice and easy. Look.
-Oh, yeah… -Relax. I'm going real slow.
Easy, easy.
Wow, it gets in there.
-Wow. What phase are you in? -Making progress.
-Can you keep a secret? -Of course.
I think I've managed to prevent the pathogen nucleocapsid protein
from targeting the core.
-No! -And even the cytoplasm.
-What, even the cytoplasm? -Shh.
-That's an extraordinary breakthrough! -This stays between us.
Well, at some point, you're going to have to share your results.
My journal, Science and Research, would be truly honored…
-Don't move! Easy. -I'm not moving.
-Easy, easy. Breathe. -It's deep. It's too deep!
-Breathe. -Ow, ow, ow…
Easy! Oh, oh! No shaking.
No, no, no shaking.
The vaccine is my priority.
Yeah, I understand.
Anyway, don't hesitate.
We would even consider a special issue with you on the cover of the magazine.
-I'll think about it. -Mmm.
When will we get the results?
It should be 48 hours. A week tops.
I hope this will be over before I give birth, otherwise--
I doubt it. Unless you're due in two years.
Huh?
We can't stay locked up for two years!
-I mean-- -No, don't listen to him.
He can be a lot, sometimes.
No! Spread out!
-What's wrong with him? -Huh?
Are you… Are you crazy or something?
Not everyone in the staircase at once.
We'll go up one family at a time and one floor at a time, okay?
So third floor, go ahead.
Yeah, and what am I supposed to do?
I have a duplex on the second and third floors.
So should I go up twice?
This is ridiculous. We all live in the same building.
-We don't even know each other's names. -That's Paris for you.
All right, so? Who's who?
I'm Agatha.
So you're a singer?
-Oh, you know my songs? -Yeah. By heart.
The insulation in this building is so good we get to enjoy them every day.
You know, I was on The Voice in 2016. Hmm.
-Yeah, but no one turned around, babe. -What are you, stupid?
The judges backs are turned, but all the audience can see me.
Sometimes, before lockdown, I… I… signed autographs.
Okay, so can we go back up
or do we have to listen to Miss Unknown Pop Star's whole career?
Hey! Be more polite.
Hey…
This is my house. I'll say what I want.
-Dude, you're pissing me off. -Hey, hey, hey!
Maintain your distance, huh?
If we could touch, I'd deck you.
Come on. You're not gonna fight, are you? That's crazy.
Let's try to be a little smarter than this.
You look like kids in a schoolyard.
He started it, not me.
Well, there we go.
Ah.
Okay. Um…
Good. Moving on. So who are you?
Okay. I'm Samuel, athletic coach.
Hey, no one asked for your profession.
We asked for names and floors, that's it.
Could you, just once, speak without being aggressive?
I just wanna go back upstairs. That's all.
Yes, well, so does everyone else here. So…
I don't.
Because I live on the ground floor.
In the caretaker's apartment, with my wife, Paola,
-who'll be back soon I hope. -Mmm.
And I'm Claire. So, uh…
Criminal attorney.
And my husband, Martin, is a scientific illustrator.
And we have a little girl, Louna. We live in the first floor, on the right.
-With the balcony. -Right there.
-Great. -Hmm.
And, um…
The only owner surrounded by renters.
Well, that's that. That wasn't so hard, was it?
Yeah.
It's crazy. It took a pandemic to finally meet.
And, uh, we're missing the new girl.
I think we should keep a close eye on her.
North African. She seems kind of shady, huh?
And he's racist too.
No, I'm not. I'm a Belgian immigrant.
And what do you mean "too"?
-In addition to what? -In addition to being selfish.
Could you park your big red car outside?
That car's not even mine.
The one with the sticker that says,
"Made in Belgium and Proud of It" isn't yours?
No, it's a lease. It's way better tax benefits.
Okay. So could you park your lease and its tax benefits outside?
That way the kids can play in the courtyard.
Also, I'd like to suggest we start a community vegetable garden.
Yeah, right. So my car gets stolen so you could have some carrots.
No thanks, lady. Thanks anyway.
-See you, little guy. -No.
-Come, sweetie. -Not so close.
-Careful. -Yeah, fine.
It's too bad. Belgians are usually very nice.
There's one asshole, and he winds up with us.
Yup.
Hey, hey!
Hey, it's not all for you! Wait!
"Causes coughing," Raoul. "Coughing."
Five letters.
COVID.
Hello, my little Lili. Hi…
I have good and bad news for you.
Come on, puppy. Good boy. Good boy!
And cut!
-Oh! Goosebumps! -Goosebumps.
Awesome! Oh, awesome. Super cute.
Everything works. But, uh, one question, who's Pam DeMick?
Pandemic. The pandemic.
"Pandemic"?
As in COVID?
You know, I was wondering, "Why isn't she friends with Pam DeMick?"
-I'm so stupid. I'm sorry. -Mmm… My love.
I think it's your pronunciation at the beginning, it threw me off.
Pam DeMick, Pam Demick…
-Pan… Pandemic. Articulate. -Okay.
I'm not a singer, but you get the point.
Are you going to put it on your Insta?
-Aren't you gonna put it on yours? -Yes, yes, of course.
But since you have more followers than I do, it's easier.
Yeah, 20,000 more, yes.
Yeah. And the more views I get,
the higher my chances of getting noticed, you know?
Yes.
But it's kind of awkward. I mean, see, I'm an athletic coach.
So it might, you know, not crossover. I… I think my followers wouldn't get it.
What wouldn't they get?
Well, uh… How do I explain, uh, babe…
See, for these women, I'm kind of their ideal man.
-Mmm. -I'm part of their daily lives.
I give them a boost, I stimulate them. That's the kind of guy I am.
And I think that posting a video like this,
well, they might see that as a betrayal.
A betrayal? But they know you're with me, don't they?
Mmm…
Not really. I don't think I told them.
Okay. So you're basically trying to hook-up with someone?
What? Do you even realize what you're saying?
This is marketing, Agatha.
And I hide every time you stream, I'm so stupid.
It's my job.
You know what? You're going to have to do your job somewhere else.
I'm sick of hiding for the sake of your flabby-assed groupies.
-Got it? -Mmm-hmm.
So what are you supposed to do?
"Underline the verb, circle the subject group,
rewrite each sentence, removing the adjectives."
"Note, they aren't necessarily part of the subject group."
Well, yeah. That's clear, isn't it?
Dad, what's a subject group?
Basile, I've already explained what a subject group is.
No.
You have to listen.
What's a subject group?
You have the group and you have the subject.
You… You have the individual and the collective.
Hey, I'm not making this up.
"Note, they are not necessarily part of the subject group."
Right? So, yeah, what that meant is…
You have one… and then others.
They form a whole.
What?
Singular, plural?
That's it. Singular, plural. Right. You got it.
But why does it say Kimamila is a subject group? He's all by himself.
Killer me what?
Kimamila! Here.
Kimamila, but I…
You gotta know I don't remember what that is.
It's been a long time.
Dad, I'm going to Milan's, okay? We're studying.
Yeah, right. You're going to study for exams with your boyfriend.
-You think I'm stupid? -But I swear that…
Dad, is that your underwear?
It's not my underwear! I'm… I'm working out.
And your brother is asking me to lend a hand with his schoolwork.
So I'm helping him. Yes.
This is crazy. All my favorite shops are closed down now,
and I can't find two minutes for a workout.
Okay, uh, I'll be back this afternoon.
No, no, no!
You're staying here. We're not allowed to go outside, Victoria.
I fucking am allowed! I'm 16.
I'm not at risk. My teenage years are being stolen.
-No. -I'm out of here.
No, Victoria, I forbid you from leaving! You're going to help your brother now!
-In your dreams! -What's a subject group again?
-What? -Me and Dad don't get it.
I do get it. I totally get it. No, I just wanted to make sure I'm right.
You two are so messed up.
Yeah, right. Go help your brother or I'll mess you up in a minute.
And it won't be pretty.
-The subject group is the subject. -Yes, but…
It says "subject group" in his book, but there's only one.
That's what… what… he doesn't understand.
-No, but that's the syntax. -The syntax?
You have to write "subject group" for the subject
and "verbal group" for the verb.
Yeah, there you go. That's exactly what I told you, Basile.
No, it's not, Dad.
No, yes, yes! It's the syntax!
You need to do part of the work yourself. Okay?
Dad, let me go out. Please.
Victoria, go to your room.
You could Zoom with your boyfriend, do whatever you want.
I don't wanna know. But you're staying here.
Great. FML, I guess.
If my boyfriend leaves me, it's your fault!
Well, it'd be for the best.
Because I can't stand your boyfriend. He's a dumbass.
So where are we?
What's FML mean, Dad?
"Fuck my life," probably.
Okay.
Come on. Try it by yourself, I'm right behind you.
Only ask me if you really don't get it.
-Hello, Basile. -Hello.
I hope you haven't forgotten our Google Meet?
No, no. Not at all.
-Is that your teacher? -Yes.
Hello… Hello, Mrs. Santos.
Hello, sir.
Hello, ma'am. Pardon. Sorry.
My kid here is kind of confused by the whole "Killer Mia" thing and, uh…
I… I got the gist of it.
Can you hear me?
Oh, yes, I can hear you. Moreover, I can see you.
This is a videoconference, meaning everyone can.
Mmm.
All right, well, I'll just wish you all a nice day of learning.
Thank you, sir.
Let's begin. So the subject group is…
I'm going to take a shower.
I think you should. Enjoy your shower, Mr. Boghassian.
I'll remind you that… Please, children.
For the subject group… Basile!
Obviously, you need to know
that this will determine how the word is spelled with…
Okay, table of five.
Yeah, great!
Whoo!
And now, I would like to ask the congregation to rise
for the table of six.
-One times six? -It's depressing!
-Two times six? -No, no. Wait.
-Three times six? -Why don't we do something else?
-Like… Like rap? -What?
Rap? Okay. Uh…
Look at your father.
He looks like he's about to walk Basile on the moon.
Hey, Martin? You okay?
-Daddy. -Yoo-hoo, Martin!
Do you copy, Apollo 13?
-Martin! -Dad!
-Martin! -Thank you.
Dying because of COVID without even catching it, is dumb.
Okay, okay.
Basile! Come on.
Shit.
All right. Enjoy your vacation!
-No, I'm just walking the dog. -Huh?
-I'm walking the dog. -Oh.
-Hey, Diego. -Yes?
You're not supposed to clean this car, but the common areas.
Yes, but…
From here, I can keep an eye on the new tenant.
Ah! Anything?
Give me a sec.
-Her name is Leila Eleli. -Mmm-hmm.
-She came home at dawn. -Mmm-hmm.
Hidden under her hood and mask. And then, nothing.
Uh, she's going to infect the whole building.
Hmm.
-Here. -Hmm?
If you can, you should try and take her temperature
without her noticing.
-I'll do what I can. -Mmm-hmm.
In fact, you should take the temperature of anyone who sets foot in here.
Nobody over 99.5 in this building.
All right. 99.5, maximum.
Heel.
Easy, easy! Calm down.
Don't sniff everything, okay?
Come on.
Come on, this way.
Calm down, sir.
I… I can't see who you are.
It's the police, sir. Are you going to the beach?
-Huh? No. I'm walking my dog. -What?
-I'm walking my dog! -Where's your dog?
He's right… Shit. Oh, shit. My dog… No, Basile!
Of course, he's vanished.
ID, please, sir, and your authorization for being outside.
Yes, yes, yes. Here. Right away.
I didn't feel the leash slip from my hands because of the latex gloves, but it's…
-He… He must've gone home. -Who?
Well, my dog, Basile.
Sir, I can't see your face. You need to remove your mask. It's too foggy.
I'm not taking it off. That's suicide.
-Then we'll give you a ticket. -You're insane!
Insulting an officer, 7,500 euro fine.
Don't… Don't stress me out, you're making me fog up even more.
We're three feet away from you. You can take it off. Don't worry.
I can't take my mask off in the middle of the street during a pandemic.
All right, all right. Okay, okay. Hold on. Wait.
Ah! Better, right?
Sir, you must remove your mask, please.
But… But I can see you now.
If I can see you, that means you can see me.
No, okay. I'll take it off. I'm taking it off. Hold on.
But first…
-Taser! Stay calm! -Gun!
-Stop moving! -Don't move!
-It's a thermometer! -Calm down!
-I swear! It's a thermometer. -Stay calm. I don't want to hurt you.
Whoa! Hey, hey, Basile. You poor thing. Who put this stuff on you?
Ha! There's 20,600 watching live, and still going.
We just ran two kilometers,
and we're following that up with a Leg Burner.
What is a "Leg Burner" you ask?
Lateral squats!
Are you up for it? 'Cause I am.
Here we go. Start with the right leg. I'll give you a profile.
-Sam! -And nine, ten. Relax your leg.
-Sam! -Take a breath. Yes?
That's what happens when you're live.
Do we have the test results?
Not yet. I'm streaming here. Now, chair pose.
Yeah. With your flabby-ass girls!
-"Flabby-ass"? -We're out of fennel. I'm craving fennel.
-I can't take it anymore! -I'm live!
Yeah, I got that. Can you go buy some, please?
Sorry. The neighbor's pregnant.
I'm helping her during lockdown.
And if we can't help each other during these times, when can we?
I'm wrapping up my class, then I'm all yours.
All right, second leg, before we target the fennel…
Here we go.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Keep it going.
Here! And hurry up, I can't move!
That's right, you shouldn't have knocked up the neighbor!
And I can see you.
I can follow your livestream. You're such a buffoon!
Dumbass!
Dickhead, idiot!
And we're done, girls.
You gave it your all. Good job, I'm proud of you!
That's what Fitgirls do! Well done!
See you tomorrow. Sending love. Ciao. Ciao.
Shit! Eight thousand!
Fuck her fennel. Damn it, she's a pain.
Besides, I can't go back out again. They just took my authorization.
No, no, I… I'm going. I'm going. I'm going, okay? Shit.
-Hey, kid. Can I borrow your dog? -Yeah? Huh?
See, I need to run an errand, and I just used my authorization.
They never say anything if you have a dog.
But… But… He's not mine. I can't.
Who cares? I'll bring him back after.
I can't. It's my girlfriend's. She won't like it.
-Your girlfriend? -Yes, my girlfriend.
-You have one too. You get it? Your girl. -What?
My girlfriend. GF, girlfriend.
Uh-huh, but…
-You're too young. -Yeah, so what?
Don't tell her, okay? She doesn't know she's my girlfriend.
Ma'am?
-Ma'am? -Ma'am what?
Oh, hello, ma'am. Are you all right?
No. What do you want?
I'm lending my dog to people who already used their authorization.
Are you interested? 1,000 euros per minute.
-I thought you said "lend"? -I'm lending him, but for money.
You sure are your father's son.
Don't you think it's a little steep? 1,000 euros a minute?
Well, how about ten?
Better. But no thanks.
Why do you need money, anyway?
Doesn't your dad already have enough?
Yeah, well, I gotta go if I wanna make any more money.
That's right. Go and con some other suckers.
Word of advice? Lower your rates. If you want this to work.
-One euro is better. -Okay.
-Thank you, ma'am. -Louise!
"Ma'am."
Well, Your Honor,
it's clear Kevin didn't realize how serious his actions were.
Isn't that right, Kevin?
I was on the bridge with the tourists. I just wanted to skip stones on the Seine.
Wait, no!
You say you were skipping stones during the protest?
-No! -Yes, I swear. Look.
So you throw it like that, so it skips. And then the stone hits a policeman.
Hey, Your Honor, even I couldn't believe it.
It was a freak accident.
Mr. Louis, if I understand correctly, you're amending your deposition?
-Yeah, totally. -No! Kevin--
-I got arrested by two moronic cops. -Excuse me.
-I'm in a hearing, Martin. -Oh, sorry, I didn't see the robe! Sorry.
Your Honor, may I please confer with my client in private for a minute?
That sounds complicated during a videoconference.
Yes, I understand.
-Where's Basile? -He didn't come home?
-Uh… Well… -What? On his own!
-There's inconsistency. -Did you lose him?
Counselor Becquart, are you with us?
-Absolutely, Your Honor. -Where's my dog?
Don't shout! Your mother is working!
-Basile! -Excuse me.
I'm in a hearing. You're interrupting. Get out!
This is hard enough with this kid talking out of his ass
and the judge being a nightmare, so--
-Who's talking out of his ass? -Huh?
Counselor Becquart, we can hear you.
-Huh? -You turned off the video, not the sound.
Oh, f… I'm sorry, Your Honor.
Counselor, you were gonna say "Fuck."
-Hey, I heard you. -Listen, Basile… Uh, Kevin!
-Louna, don't go without a mask. -I'm sorry.
-A family situation. -We're out of masks.
Why don't you come here? It's way quieter.
I would like to request a continuance in order to confer in person
at the facility with my client.
No, you're not visiting anyone in person. No way.
Jails are the most infected places in the country.
-Who's that? -This hearing is too chaotic.
I'm postponing it until the fifth of next month.
-Thank you, Your Honor. -No, no. I'm not staying in jail…
Your daughter went out without a mask. Hello?
You… You can't just disrupt a hearing like that.
Videoconferences are complicated enough.
I'm sorry, but your case there seems like a lost cause.
If I were you, I'd drop it.
No. I'm not dropping it. I fight for all my clients.
You've been dealing with petty crimes like Kevin's for the last five years.
It's not gratifying.
Just support me, instead of piling on.
But I do support you, my love.
But continuing to visit prisons is out of the question.
Is that clear?
Come on, Basile. Oh. Wait, wait, wait.
-Hi. -Oh! Oh, Basile! Oh, my baby!
My love, I was scared. Oh, my Basile. I love you.
I missed you. Yes, I love you too.
I was scared. I thought I'd lost you.
He was with me, the other Basile.
Thanks for finding him.
You're welcome.
Come on.
Hey. Hey, Louna. Louna, wait.
I have something for you.
-Here. -What is it?
It's money I made lending your dog
to people who didn't have an authorization.
And since it's your dog, well, it's your money.
-Is this a joke? -No, no. A gift.
You're horrible!
You rented out my dog?
He could've been stolen!
-But… But I was nearby. -Yeah, right.
I don't want your money. It's dirty, like your dad's car.
That went well.
If she's your crush, you better change your tune now.
Mmm.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
DOCTORS, FIREFIGHTERS, NURSES BRAVO, THANK YOU
Dr. Gabriel!
-Dr. Gabriel! -No. The guinea pig is fine.
-No, that's not it. -And I still don't have the test results.
No, that's not it. It's about my wife.
I can't get any news. I'm very worried.
No one's responding.
Can you call them?
Hmm… Mmm-hmm.
Thank you.
Paola Romano is my patient. Yes.
-Yes, you're Doctor… -Dr. Gabriel.
-Pasteur Institute.
-She was just moved from intensive care. -Oh, yes?
She's out of intensive care?
-She's better. Her condition's improved. -She's doing better.
Great. Could you transfer me to her doctor, please?
Yes?
Which patient?
-Yusef. Mrs. Romano? -Mrs. Romano?
Romano…
-Romano. -Yeah, Paola.
She was just brought up for recovery.
Great. Where is she?
-She's right there. -Okay.
Mrs. Romano?
Your husband on the phone.
Hello?
My love!
I'm so glad to hear your voice.
How are you?
Oh, my Diego!
How's the work in the building going?
I'm sure you're lost without me.
No, no, no. Paola, my love…
You're the one who should be telling me how you are feeling.
The birds are waiting for you.
And you?
So am I, my love. So am I.
Doctor.
-What? -Gracias.
-Copper, gold, silver. -Oh.
I'm worried that we still don't have the results.
He must be swamped. All his employees are gone.
What is that now?
An oximeter. To measure blood oxygen levels.
It can't go below 95%. If it does, it…
-What? -Fifty-two!
Oh, shit, I've got it. It's getting into my lungs.
Shit! Claire!
-Wrong finger. -Huh?
There.
Oh, right.
Oh, thank you.
-Your turn. -No, I'm good. Thank you.
I know I'm breathing.
Look, why don't we put all that crazy stuff away?
Come on, yeah.
Good night.
I'm pretty worked up right now.
Hope I don't go crazy.
Oh! My love…
You're hot.
Yeah, I'm hot.
-Are you taking my temperature? -You said you were hot.
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry! My love, my love…
Let's not do it.
Let's save our energy in case the virus attacks.
-Don't you think? -Yes, you're right.
-Thank you. -Welcome.
There. Drawings, flowers, a poem.
"Louna, I want a sweet kiss In the hollow of my neck"
"I want a snuggly kiss to hide in my fist"
Glorious. That's what women like.
I'm too scared to give it to her.
What's the worst that can happen? You strike out? That's how you learn.
Well, since there's no way I'm selling it…
might as well drink it!
"Alcohol kills slowly."
Good. We're in no hurry.
-But I… -It can't hurt you.
-Worst case, it disinfects. -Oh, well, okay.
Damn, you're not so dumb, you know?
-What do you smell? -I don't know, pear?
Well done.
You just discovered pear-scented hydro-alcoholic hand sanitizer
made by Raoul.
Wow.
Basile, with the hand sanitizer shortage, we're gonna cover our balls in gold.
-Oh, no! -Oh, yes!
-Oh, no, no, no. -Solid gold.
The subject, a female guinea pig,
has just received the second dose of the vaccine.
Everything is fine. Which leads us to hope…
Lili! Oh, no!
No, Lili. Lili!
Lili! Lili! Come back! Come back!
One, two, three, four…
One, two three, four… One, two, three, four…
No, Lili!
Doctor?
Yes, I'm coming!
I'm coming!
Yes, hello?
Yes?
-Do you have the rest results? -No, not yet. Be patient. Goodbye.
I'm not here just for that.
Have you thought about my offer to publish your research?
I pitched it to my editor. He loves the idea.
-I'm in. Yes. -Really? That's wonderful.
Careful. When can we meet?
Hang on. I need to go over it, then I'll send it to you.
-Oh… -Come on. Be careful…
-Yes, your fingers. -Do you have my email?
I have everything. I have everything I need.
-Goodbye. -Thanks.
Huh?
Oh, shit!
Lili!
Where is he?
-Doctor? -How can I help you?
Once I have the test results, I will let you know.
That's not why we're here.
We need some medical-looking plastic containers.
-Do you have any? -No.
Yes! Yes, yes, yes.
I have several boxes of specimen cups. Here you go.
Take them. I don't need them anymore. There.
-There. Goodbye. Thank you very much. -Thank you. Bye.
Good bye. Shut the door. Come on.
Shut the door! The door, I said.
Lili…
Here, Lili, Lili, Lili. Kitty…
Lili. Lili.
Lili?
Lili.
Lili…
Are you looking for our results, Mr. Scientist?
What are you doing hiding in your car?
Enjoying my success.
Sitting in a parked car? That's your idea of success?
Oh, yeah, you're the one to talk about success.
Going from the Pasteur Institute
to your neighborhood lab.
I left Pasteur because things moved too slow.
In research, you need to have ideas. Big ideas.
My colleagues didn't like that. Right? I am devoted to my research.
While you're going "vroom vroom" and selling your nasty vapers,
I'm dedicated to a higher cause. Planetary.
Oh, right, controlling the people.
Sorry?
Didn't the virus come from a lab?
Bill Gates, the deep state, vaccination…
They're doing everything they can to reduce the world population.
Don't think we're all so stupid, Mr. Scientist. We're not idiots.
-You seem well-informed. -We are well informed, yes.
-Because that's exactly right. -I know.
-In fact, did you feel it during the test? -What?
I pushed a miniature Windows microchip inside you.
-Huh? -That's what the nasal swab is for.
If you find a guinea pig, please bring it back to the lab.
It's highly contagious. Wait, actually I'll come get it.
Now I know where to find you.
This is bullshit.
Mmm.
Yes, I know he's no longer at Pasteur. He's a free agent.
Hang on. This guy's a genius. Yeah.
He'll go over his study and send it to me.
Of course.
But don't screw me over, okay, Yannis?
I mean, I'll get to join the staff, full-time. We agree, right?
With a contract? Okay.
Wait, wait. I'll… I'll call you back.
-Where are you going? -Huh?
Where are you going?
I'm taking out the trash and then I'm running a few errands.
Leave it, I'll go.
Huh? What? No, no. Why would you… Why?
I'm more careful outside than you are.
Oh, well, then, you run the errands and I'll handle the trash.
I'll go run my errands. I'll drop it off on my way.
No! Why you? Always you?
Come on, stop it! You keep treating me like you're the one in charge.
And I have a role in this home too. Okay?
Your role in our home? Taking out the trash?
Yes.
Okay.
Thank you.
Claire?
-Yes? -Come here.
What?
Open the bag.
-Hmm? -The trash bag.
Look. You forgot this.
Oh, and here. This also.
There.
Uh, sir?
-Don't you disinfect the carts? -I can't understand you, sir.
-Never mind. Forget it. -Uh, how high is it?
-Ninety eight point six. You're all good. -Okay… Ugh.
Ladies and gentlemen, for obvious safety reasons,
we ask you to maintain a distance of three feet…
Whoa!
-…between each customer. Thank you. -Idiot!
MAXIMUM 2 PER ITEM
Could you start the conveyor please?
What?
Could you start the conveyor?
-But there's nothing on it-- -Start the fucking conveyor!
No!
Show me your hands.
Are you crazy? My hands are clean.
-Uh-uh. -Hmm?
I'm sorry. You can't take more than two of the same item.
Huh? Why?
Restrictions to prevent shortages of stock, sir.
Oh…
-Be nice. -No, you be nice.
Try to think of others.
Card or cash?
So card then?
Ladies and gentlemen, for obvious safety reasons,
we ask you to maintain a distance of three feet between each customer.
Hmm. Stop!
All good. Thank you.
Boghassian.
-How are you, Diego? -I'm fine.
Hey, if you don't mind…
Please tell me my husband didn't give you that thermometer.
Yep. 98. You're good.
-He is unbelievable. -Go ahead.
Don't feel like you have to do everything he says.
Oh, by the way, have you seen him?
-He just got back from the pool. -Shit.
Martin? Open the door. The chain's on.
Step back.
Where were you?
Oh, I had a lovely walk. They reopened the parks. Look.
Did Kevin give you those flowers?
Huh? Why would you say that? Kevin who?
"Kevin who?"
Martin, I had to see my client, but I swear I was super careful.
I wore gloves, mask, face shield, everything.
You can't come inside. It's too risky. You had close contact.
Not at all. Absolutely not.
-Come on. Open. -No!
Martin.
Martin, This isn't you talking. It's your anxiety, you know that.
Okay, why don't you take a breath and get it together, honey?
Oh, thank--
Here. I hope this will make you think about the consequences of your actions.
Have a good night.
Martin, open this door!
Louna!
Open up!
-Thank you! -Louna, open up.
No. Over here.
Great job. Awesome.
Awesome, awesome. Seriously great.
-Bravo! -No, great job to you.
-Bravo. -Very classy. Great job.
Bravo!
Good night.
Okay, sending love. Great job, everyone.
Oh, shit. Shit! Shit!
What's the matter? Is it the baby?
Oh, no… It's Kendji Girac.
He reposted "Pandemic, Pandemic."
Kendji Girac, baby!
Are you sure it's not a fake account?
Uh, 1.7 million followers, I doubt it.
Oh, shit, shit!
Oh, I'm having a big contraction.
Breathe, breathe.
It's a little early, isn't it?
-There, there. -No, I'm okay.
It's the emotion.
Look, my number of followers is climbing.
-This is insane. -Great.
Clearly, I'm good enough for Kendji Girac's followers.
Hmph.
Bravo!
Bravo.
Martin, open up.
Hey! It's my fucking home too.
Martin!
Shit!
My bedroom window is stuck.
Oh, yeah? No other windows?
-Uh, yes. No. -No, go ahead.
It's not like it's your home. Just spread it all around.
Fucking renters.
Well?
276.
-That's good. -Very good. Better, even.
So you're not going under?
Because I like coming here to draw. And I like you.
But if this becomes a vape store, I can't come over.
What are you talking about? Why would I run a vape store?
Okay, don't tell anyone, but my father is waiting for you to go under.
That way he can buy your bar and sell vapes.
Or for you to die of COVID.
He's not sure which one, but he said to just wait.
What an asshole.
-Bar is closed. -Good evening.
I… I heard you had hand sanitizer here. Pear-scented. Is that right?
Well, in that case, we're open. Come in.
Uh, good evening.
-How, uh… How much is it? -Ten euros apiece.
-Two for seventeen. -Well, I'll take four.
-Thirty four euros. -Here.
-Oh, no. Cash only. -Oh.
What?
Shit, I think I have COVID.
No, it's just flavorless.
Yes?
Yeah, it's me.
-Tony, I can't talk to you right now. -Hmm.
-And when are you coming home? -I don't know.
You're at your mother's, right?
Listen, I have to go. I don't have time.
She's at her mom's.
I don't know.
Fetch your brother from the old lady's.
-We're leaving. -What?
Well, yeah, she's not coming back. Let's not kid ourselves.
She called me "Tony."
And whenever she calls me "Tony," that's a bad sign.
Come on. We'll drive there.
And don't tell your mother. You got that? We'll surprise her.
Come on, let's go.
Oh, dear. I don't know where I left my keys.
Basile! Basile!
What is it now, Victoria?
-You're a pain. I'm busy. -Come on.
-What? -I said, come on. We're leaving.
-To go where? -To the south to get Mom.
-What? Wait. -Hurry up.
Shit, Basile! Basile!
Oh, no. Please.
I managed to lock myself out.
Ah.
My husband's on his way with the keys.
I don't know what's keeping him.
-He'll show up. -Shouldn't be much longer.
Uh, and you? You leaving?
No, no, I'm… putting some things away.
It's crazy how much crap you end up buying, right?
Yeah. Especially you.
Hmm.
I think your husband's home.
Yeah, I'm saved.
Enjoy your dinner.
Thanks.
Basile!
Basile, get over here or I'm dragging you over by your ass.
Dad. I don't want to go. For real, I can't.
-I can't leave. Dad! -No.
-You're coming. Stop it! -I'm begging you. I can't.
-You're… Basile, don't make me angry! -I have to see Louna!
-And you reek of booze. -Why isn't Mom coming back?
I'd appreciate it if you didn't give my kid alcohol.
Come on. He's not even nine.
I'm not giving him alcohol. He's been helping me sell hand sanitizer.
That's right. Career change.
Your kid's a smart one, business is booming.
I'm not selling you my bar.
What have you been telling her?
Huh?
Shit, shit, shit!
Don't look. Don't look.
Just pretend nothing's wrong.
There.
Oh, what the…
What the hell is he doing?
-Come on. -Unbelievable.
-Stop. Stop! -Please stop your vehicle.
Is he crazy? Sir. Whoa!
Just move.
-Easy there. -Watch it.
Sir, please.
What's this asshole doing?
-Please. -Sir.
Please, stop the car right now.
Cut the engine.
-Out of the vehicle -Me?
Yes, sir.
What the fuck is this? What are you doing?
Uh, I'm driving in my courtyard.
I'm sorry, but it's allowed because I know we're not supposed to go outside,
but I don't see why I can't drive in my courtyard.
That's the first thing. And second,
I just bought this vehicle and I'm entitled to enjoy it.
And why are you enjoying it with two children inside?
Uh, see, when I walked out, they were playing in the courtyard,
and I didn't want to run them over, so I said, come on.
Because I don't think this is the time to be taking them to the hospital
or the ER or something with the… Right, kids?
-I told you to get in the car. -Yep.
That's why.
We got a call that a resident at this address
is not complying with the lockdown.
I'm the one who called you.
Excuse me, sir?
I'm the one who called because, you see, there is, in fact,
a resident of the building who isn't abiding by the rules.
And, uh, she's on the first floor on the left.
If you take a look. Actually, as soon as night falls,
she goes out, she… gets up to something.
Some shady stuff, if you ask me.
Right, we'll check her out.
That would be wonderful.
And do me a favor. Stop the bullshit.
I'll just go forward and backward a couple more times.
And then I'll go back upstairs. I'm telling you, I'm exhausted.
Yes, I understand.
-Have a good night, sir. -Yes, and thank you.
-Good night. -Thank you for all you do.
Sure fooled them.
Here we go.
-Good evening, madam. -Good evening.
Good evening.
We were told that there was someone on the first floor--
Yes, you're in the right place. Absolutely.
Sir, I've been kicked out of my own apartment.
Martin, open up.
The police are here.
Huh?
Uh, Officer, Madam.
-Good evening. -Yes, good evening.
It looks like someone is not respecting the lockdown.
Yes, absolutely. That's her.
-Huh? -Yes.
-He's talking nonsense. -Oh, not at all. I called to report her.
She goes out at night and brings the virus into the building.
-You're reporting this? -Yes.
You're nuts.
Listen, Officer, I've gotten the authorization.
As an attorney, I'm allowed to go visit my client in jail.
-Why do you leave at night? -But I don't leave at night.
-I mean, there's a blanket and a pillow. -Well, that's him.
-Why are you going to prisons at night? -No, she's the lawyer.
Yes, but I go during the day.
-Are you his lawyer? -No, he's my husband.
So you called us to turn in your wife?
-No, the neighbor. -The neighbor?
-Yes. -You're his neighbor?
He kicked you out of his place. I mean, your place. Is that right?
No, I'm his wife and a lawyer. This is my home.
Yes. She's my wife. She lives here.
The neighbor lives across the hall. But that's not her home.
The neighbor across the hall. That's not her home?
No. I mean, yes. She's actually a squatter.
She goes out every night. That's why I called.
You snitched on the neighbor.
Yes, I snitched on the neighbor.
Oh, no. But she already left home.
She already left her not-her-home?
-Well, yes, it's night time. -Yeah.
-Oh, is it night time? -Yes.
Right.
Uh, we'll come back.
Let your wife in, if she's your wife.
-Of course. -Hmm.
-Good night. -Good night. Thank you.
-Thank you very much. -Thanks.
Goodbye, ma'am.
-Mommy, you're not sick anymore. -No, sweetie.
No, don't touch her. She's dangerous. Let me see-- Oh!
Take care of this.
And there you go. The guy in the car took off.
They're all crazy.
Yeah, but that's lockdown. It gets on everyone's nerves.
Tell me about it.
Yes?
-Good evening, Diego. How are you? -I'm all right.
You smoke now?
Mmm. Yes.
I read online that nicotine protects you from the 'Rona.
Absolutely not. That's bullshit.
-Is it? -The best remedy…
…is the vaccine I'm working on, Diego.
And now, I need to confirm the very, very good results I got with Lili.
No, no, no, no, no.
No way. Not my Paola's birds. That's impossible.
-Think of your wife, Diego. -I am.
This is Feathers, my wife's favorite.
She's like me, very sad without Paola.
No. No.
You little bastard. It's your turn.
Okay, easy.
Easy.
Okay.
I guess it's kind of late. We'll do this tomorrow.
Okay, that's good.
Hello.
Wow, we are now live and unplugged.
Unplugged.
Sorry, but you're in my shot.
-Oh. What? -We can see you.
-Can you move over, please? -Oh, right.
That's, uh… That's nice.
Thanks. That's great. There. Don't move.
Uh, hello. Good to see all you music fans.
This song is for you and especially those fighting for us.
What's up, Doc?
What is it now, Louise?
Uh, what happened to you?
Nothing. No. I cut myself shaving.
I think you cut more than you shaved.
Okay. What do you want?
I used one of your little cups for my monthly testing.
Can't mess around with urine.
-Should I leave it? -I'm swamped.
Why's it going so slowly? Your vaccine, huh?
-I need to get my tests. -Well, I'm searching.
That's the entire premise of science, searching.
You can't just search. You need to find.
My premise is reopening.
Well, have you at least cut back on those drinks?
No, I toss them back.
This guy's a genius. He's going to find the vaccine.
The paper will be impressed.
-Let me help you. -Thank you, Diego.
So, then…
-The touch-me-nots… here. -Mmm.
And the vegetable garden… there.
No, it won't get enough sunlight.
You better put the vegetable garden on that side.
Oh.
Hey, Mom, can we build the shed with the boxes?
-Oh! Yes, of course. -Yeah.
Come on.
Louise, it'd be great if we could all enjoy the courtyard.
You think we could borrow some tables and chairs? With this weather?
No, it's closed. It's not legal.
Yeah, go ahead.
You're fixing up the courtyard? Good idea.
Maybe you could lend a hand.
Put that here.
Right there.
-Great! -Yeah.
Go ahead, Diego.
-Wow! Whoo! -Nice!
Great! Isn't it pretty?
Louise…
Oh, dear. It's beautiful.
-You did all this? -Yeah.
So we were thinking, should we have some drinks?
Now there's a good idea.
Isn't all this a conspiracy to take away our freedom?
No, you're too close together.
Claire! Louna! Six feet apart.
-Seems a bit stressed out. -Just a tad.
Dad, look, there's hand sanitizer.
What kind of crap is that? Where's it from?
It's hand-crafted… Raoul Laboratories.
Guaranteed over 99% alcohol, pear-scented.
Here, look. Dual-function.
You disinfect your hands. If you can't smell the pear, it means you have COVID.
That's ingenious. I'll have to tell the paper about it.
But come join us instead of staying locked up all by yourself.
No. Anyway, I'm coming down because I need to see Dr. Gabriel.
-Oh, do we have the results? -No. It's about something else.
-Why don't we have a barbecue? -Right now?
Mmm. Oh, excuse me.
It's my boss.
You, come with me. I have something to show you.
Come on.
Yes. Good evening, Mr. Uzan.
Yes, Gilbert. Sorry. I'll remember.
-Are you well? -Yes, very. And yourself?
No. Well, lockdown did complicate things a little, but you know it's…
Not easy these days, but that's all. You've nothing to worry about.
I made sure to make the judge understand that poor Kevin
deserves another chance and…
-Hold on. He asked for a new attorney? -Exactly.
-Oh, that asshole. -Excuse me?
Fuck, for six months I've been fighting for that idiot.
Kevin, who doesn't understand anything… Who changes his story at every hearing.
Yes, uh… Yes. Kevin is dumb.
Oh, I'm sorry, but throwing a rock in a cop's face
and saying he was skipping stones takes a special kind of stupid.
Claire, Kevin is my nephew.
-He's your nephew? -Yes.
Well… Well, I didn't know.
Uh, now that you mention it, he does look a little like you.
So Gilbert, is he your nephew, like your brother's son
or from your wife's side?
Mr. Uzan, yes. Sorry.
Hello?
Yes. Okay.
All right. We'll… We… Yeah, we'll just talk about it tomorrow then.
Bye-bye!
-Okay. -You okay?
Yep. Just work.
Yeah, that's good. That's good.
All right.
Make yourself heard.
-You know… I agree. -Hmm.
Here. This is you. He drew all of this just for you.
-Basile? -Yeah, the Belgian kid, not your dog.
His father's a bad example, but a little man like him…
So sensitive…
That's a rare find.
Oh, stop it. Stop doing that. Stop purring.
Can I come in?
You're already in.
Your study is brilliant. The people at the paper are very impressed.
They want you for the cover and the special issue.
-When do you want to do it? -I don't know. Whenever you want.
-Tomorrow? The day after? -That's kind of rushed.
Oh, well, it depends on your schedule as a scientist.
'Course, we would…
Oh, shit, I can't spell pear anymore. Oh, God. I got COVID?
No, that is pee. Louise's urine.
-Why didn't you tell me? -Because you didn't ask me.
What is all that hubbub in the courtyard?
Oh, that. I know.
It's an impromptu cocktail party.
I don't approve at all.
What can you do? People are sick of being locked in.
You want… You want to come in and have a drink?
No.
Although…
It'll take my mind off things.
Hi, Fitgirls. It's the pregnant neighbor.
Tonight's SamFit session is special,
for straight up fat-butts and love handles.
So don't give up.
Especially not your bag of chips and your weiner.
-What're you doing babe? -Nothing. Nothing!
Communicating with my 180,000 followers.
-180,000? -Yep.
You heard me.
Let's start.
Oh.
Oh, perfect.
Did Lili scratch you like that?
Yes, yes, while I was cleaning out her cage.
Uh-huh. I should take Lili back to the Dubreuil's place.
Yes, let's do that.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
No, no, no. Basile. Basile!
Basile! Yes.
Come on, Basile. Come on.
Oh!
So, Diego…
-You seem tense. No? -No.
Put down that shit. It's just her old booze.
It's not sanitizer.
It's much better. Here, drink up.
-It'll take the edge off. -No thanks.
Drink.
Oh, it's good, but it's very strong.
-No, Claire. -Yes, it's good.
She's got a nice voice.
-I really like it. -Eh…
Oh, you don't like it?
No, it's just that it's always the same song.
Well, yeah.
Oh, you too. You're a pain. Stop it.
Might as well skip some steps.
RAT - GUINEA PIG - CAT - HUMAN
Great, the Belgian asshole is back.
Stop.
Stop!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, here comes trouble.
Out of the way.
-Hi. -Come on, you big asshole.
-Come here. -You and your car.
What's wrong with your mom?
She's sick of being locked in and sick of my father.
Oh, yeah? Just like mine. My father says she's burned out.
Claire.
Come on.
I'm warning you, Boghassian. I will take you to court
if you piss off the whole building, and I'm a bulldog of a lawyer.
I'm not putting up with this anymore.
Come on, get out.
You and your car!
Come on. Fuck off.
Mr. Owner, who doesn't respect anything or anyone.
-Claire, stop. Claire! -Come on.
No! I'm not playing nice anymore.
Claire's in a bad way right now.
Ah?
-Hmm? -Hmm?
You can stop now.
I'll park outside.
That's right, dickhead. Park outside.
I showed him!
Belgian and proud of it.
I've never seen such beautiful poems and drawings.
-You like them? -I love them.
I'm sorry. This is so unlike her.
No, no. Don't apologize.
-It's fine. -It happens.
This is the first time I've seen her like this.
Sorry about… I took it too far.
But I was expecting you to put up more of a fight.
Some days I just don't.
No, thanks.
Looking at you, I think it doesn't help.
But you're right.
I'm an asshole.
I drove over 1,000 miles to bring back my wife.
And in the end, my daughter stayed with her.
I've lost them both.
I… I don't know how to say things nicely.
I always have to bark and impose. It's…
Being too nice doesn't work either.
I… I get stepped on by everyone.
My husband who makes me sleep on the stairwell.
Client who dumps me like garbage.
Boss who hangs up on me.
Nobody respects me really.
It may not seem like it, but I respect you.
What you've done here is beautiful and in so little time. It's…
It's completely a different place now. So…
You're very talented. Very talented.
-I don't have another way to say it. -Wow.
It's bizarre when you're nice.
It's good.
It feels weird.
-There's no COVID. -It's all bullshit anyway.
They're nice.
They're touch-me-not's.
-Ah… -Look who's here.
Yeah, finally.
-Good evening. -Good evening.
Forget it. Never. Never, a goodnight, never hello.
That's rude.
You know, she's squatting Sandrine's apartment?
-She is? -Ma'am.
Oh, the cops.
-Well, it's about time. -She doesn't have authorization.
-That's for sure. -What's she doing?
So who is the asshole who turned me in?
It was kind of everybody, at various times.
Well, shit. Are you proud of yourselves?
Snitching on me so you can get rid of the brown girl
who doesn't party with you during lockdown. Is that it? Pathetic.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, calm down. You messed up. Own up to it.
I messed up? Moron, I'm an ER doctor at St. Thomas.
St. Thomas?
I don't have a life. I'm isolating to protect my parents.
-And my kids who I never see. -Oh…
I always avoid you so I don't put you at risk
because I have five colleagues who caught it.
Two are in the ICU.
And now with your permission, I am going back to work.
Wait, please.
I think my wife is with you.
Come on, get rid of all this crap.
No time for a barbecue. We're in the middle of a lockdown. Got it?
Thank you.
-Well… -Well…
Let's turn in. I…
Uh, Louna… You're not sleeping in that fort.
-Basile, you coming? -Come on.
-I'll go home as well. -We're going to bed too.
-All right. -Come on.
-Dad, can we stay a little longer? -No, no, no. It's late.
Hey. What are you doing?
I'm going to clean up a little.
Then I'll help you.
No, no. Glass in here.
That for cardboard and this one is for food waste.
-What about the plastic? -Plastic goes with the cardboard.
That makes no sense. One pollutes, the other is biodegradable.
Yes, because actually, some plastics can be recycled if they're cleaned properly.
Okay.
No, no, no. Claire, no.
Oh, my God.
Anything but that.
Not by the dumpsters.
No, no. Stop. This is crazy.
Sorry. I… I'm sorry.
What's going on? Something's wrong.
Following the injection of the Gabriel vaccine on a human test subject…
Uh, noted side effects.
Sudden muscle spasms,
due to the reaction to the toxin in the proteinaceous actin
and myosin filaments.
Right…
I need…
other test subjects to attempt…
other dosings.
Okay. All right, please.
This is Dr. Gabriel speaking.
Don't panic!
What is this guy blabbing about now?
Maintain your distance from each other and come downstairs.
I have your PCR results.
Ah.
There are two positive cases in the building.
Great. It's probably you and that jerk.
-No, Martin-- -Back up. Back up, please.
Is something wrong, Dr. Gabriel?
Everything's great.
Okay. Which two of us have it?
All right. Martin Becquart.
What? That's impossible.
-How could I have gotten it? -It can't be.
And the second winner?
-Uh, Diego Romano. -That's three in the building.
Okay, you must avoid contact with others.
-I'll need to re-test everyone. -Come on.
You come with me.
The plan is to isolate you two together.
But don't worry. I'll take good care of them.
Don't die, Daddy.
Don't worry, sweetie. Most patients recover.
No, this can't be right. It must be a false positive.
That's okay, Claire. The prison, the dumpsters.
You played with fire and I'm paying the price. Thanks a lot.
Come along. Let's not waste any time.
Come on. Don't give up. You got this.
I'll write a song for you.
Oh, that's really going to help.
That said, I have boxes of hydroxychloroquine if you want.
Ugh!
Martin!
-Becquart! -Hey!
That idiot spat COVID in my face.
-Tony. -Get back!
Uh, your hands are covered in it.
-I didn't touch it. -Put it on your face.
-Oh, God. It stings. -Dad, you okay?
I'm fine.
Reduce the dosage… that's all.
Is everything all right, Professor?
Yes, yes, yes. Fine, fine.
Um, hold on. What exactly is this shot?
Well, it's my vaccine.
Your vaccine? But we already have COVID.
No, I meant my antibody-based anti-virus vaccine.
I'm disinfecting.
Oops!
Come on. Your turn.
What? Don't you trust me?
Mmm…
Okay.
Hope is reborn, as I was saying, yes.
But nothing is for granted.
In the east and in Île-de-France,
hospitals are overflowing.
Everywhere in continental France and our overseas regions,
the system is strained.
And the pandemic is not yet under control.
We must therefore continue our efforts and continue enforcing the rules.
The more we…
Diego, we need to get to bed early.
Mmm.
-You're okay. -I'm glad I caught it.
Mmm.
Because this may finally take me to my Paola in the hospital.
Hey, you mustn't think like that, Diego. I'm sure she'll be fine.
Yesterday was one month. Yes.
I miss her.
I didn't tell her I have COVID.
I don't want her to worry.
That was wise, Diego.
Hi, Dad. Did you sleep well?
Hmm?
You okay?
Do you miss Mom?
I was an idiot.
You should make her a drawing or a love note.
Women love that.
And then you can make up with her.
Hmm?
Dad.
Mmm-hmm.
One second!
-Are you all right? -Fine, I'm trying to… relax.
Sure.
I wanted to know how my husband's doing.
Good. He's very receptive to the antibodies.
Okay.
Can I do anything to help?
Oh, that's sweet, but we're dealing with a real disease
not some cold you treat with essential oils.
-What are you doing? -I'm dancing.
-Without music?
Yeah, yeah, I'm stretching my legs.
I don't understand. My husband has no symptoms.
Are you sure about the results?
Are you questioning my work?
And what's that?
HUMAN TESTS
Quit snooping around.
Will you let me work?
-You like it? -Yeah, I love it!
That's a beautiful pine tree.
It's not a pine. It's a palm tree.
Oh, sorry.
I've been cooped up so long, I can't draw trees anymore.
Come with me.
Come on. It's okay.
No, Basile. Wait for us.
-Run! -Look, I'm faster than you!
Basile, wait up!
-Wait. Basile, wait. Wait. -Shh.
Shh.
Go. It's clear. Go. Run!
-I forget how nice it smells. -Yeah.
Come on.
-Whoa. -Do you like it?
It's so beautiful.
Wow!
Oh, classy.
Louna!
Are you okay?
It hurts!
Hold on. It's going to be okay, right?
I'm scared! I don't want to go to the hospital!
I don't want to die of COVID!
No, no. Everything will be fine, okay?
-Come on. Hurry! -I don't want to die! It hurts.
Louise! Please! Louna is bleeding.
-Hurry! -Oh, dear.
She fell.
-I'm calling an ambulance. -No! Not to the hospital.
I don't wanna go. You have to call my mom.
Your mother is out and your father can't come outside.
Let me see that. Oh, wow. Oh, dear.
That's deep. It needs stitches.
-What? No. Shouldn't we disinfect it? -Yes. Pear.
No, no, no. Don't worry. I'll go get the doctor. She'll help.
No, no, no. She's asleep. Don't wake her up.
Ma'am!
-What do you want? -Hurry!
I know you're really mad, but please help.
The love of my life is bleeding out from her chin. Please.
-Feeling better? -No.
Have another sip.
Put that down, lady.
Step away. It's all right.
-Let me see that. -No, no, no, no.
-I won't do anything. -What's going on?
-Mommy! -Louna!
-I don't want to die. -What's wrong, sweetie?
Just a little cut that's bleeding.
Whoa.
Lie down here.
-Put your legs up. -I'm okay. Yeah.
There.
Okay.
-Mom, are you all right? -Yes, darling, I'm fine.
-It will be okay, sweetheart. -It's okay.
-What's your name? -Louna.
Wait, shouldn't you wear a mask?
I'm sorry. You just deal with sick people at the hospital.
Not just at the hospital.
-Yeah. -Come on.
There you go.
-We'll take out the stitches in a week. -Thank you, ma'am.
-Basile deserves a thank you. -Hmm.
Well, I'm off. They're expecting me at the hospital.
I know we were way out of line, but I really want to apologize.
I didn't do it for you. I did it for your daughter.
Then thank you on her behalf.
Martin, it's me.
Well, I wanted to let you know,
your daughter split her chin open, but it's okay.
No, Claire…
Claire, my love.
I'm sorry, Martin.
I screwed up for a second, but it was so dumb.
No, it was me. I wasn't thinking of you enough.
I'm sorry.
I'm so tired.
I wish we could be together like before.
Me too, my love. I wish that too.
Something wrong?
-What's going on? -No, it's nothing. It's normal.
It's the treatment working.
It is strange that you have symptoms after being treated.
No, but he's a great doctor. We have to trust him, huh?
I love you.
Get some rest.
Noted side effects…
Sudden muscle spasms that make the body shake and tremble,
following the injection of the Gabriel vaccine
on a human test subject.
Due to the reaction to the toxin in the proteinaceous actin
and myosin filaments. Right.
Even now…
In order to reduce the muscle spasms, I'm taking a cocktail of Repramil.
And this… Diltiazem. Uh…
You're not giving them antibodies or antigens. You vaccinated them.
That's nonsense. You don't know anything.
Oh, you stole that. Give it back.
Martin doesn't have COVID. Neither does Diego.
They're your guinea pigs. What'd you inject them with?
It's absolutely safe.
I even injected myself and it worked.
And did you get any approvals for your clinical trials?
I've never liked paperwork and it's our duty to hurry.
This virus is a step ahead of us.
You're completely insane.
Who are you calling you? You… Who are you calling?
Leave me alone.
You're making one of the biggest mistakes in the history of humanity.
All right, that's enough. Let me go.
I am Professor Jean-Paul Gabriel. One of the greatest scientists in the world.
Wait! Louise…
-My cat. -Don't worry, Doc. I'll take care of it.
You think I'm gonna take this lying down? This is shameful.
I'm ashamed for you. Huh?
Lili?
It's Lili, the guinea pig.
We have to… We… We have to get Lili!
She's proof that it works. Lili!
Lili!
I created the vaccine. I did it.
Basile?
Basile, come give me a hand, please.
Basile, I need you.
Basile! Come. Tell me if this thing's straight.
I think it's leaning a little to the right.
Oh.
Dad!
-Where's my idiot brother? -He's in his room.
Oh, my love!
I missed you.
I feel like I'm 25 again when you say that.
Now you're even more beautiful.
Stop.
-Mom, you're back. -Oh, my love.
Of course I'm back, my love.
-What did you think? -Uh, Mom…
You can't call me that anymore. It's not cool to Louna.
-Oh, all right. Hello, Louna. -Hello, ma'am.
Louna, his girlfriend.
The love of my life.
Right. Sorry. The love of his life.
The love of his life?
-Sam! -What?
-The baby. It's coming. -Okay, I got the hospital bag.
I don't want to go without you. I don't want to be alone.
You're not alone. I'm here, my love.
I'm done messing around. I'm your man for life. And you're my girl.
My GF, my girlfriend, my wife.
-Aw, honey. I love you. -I love you too.
Don't laugh about it.
-It's just a picture. -Hang on.
Smile!
-Oh, no. -Let me see.
It's probably a good one.
All right, I'm starving. Let's eat.
All right, stop it!
Dad… Dad, come save me.
-He's coming. -Okay.
THANK YOU
PAOLA
WE WILL
NEVER FORGET
YOU
WE
WILL TAKE
GOOD
CARE
OF
DIEGO
We are born, we live, we die.
My father says it's a dog's life.
He's right. In fact, that's why my name is Basile.
And I still think life is beautiful.
It would only be better if we were all born on the same day.
That way we could all die on the same day and no one would be sad ever again.
FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE SUFFERED
TO HUMAN SOLIDARITY
HUMANITY BAR
THANK YOU TO SARAH AND RAPHAËL OUR INSPIRATION
AND THANK YOU TO SARAH FOR THE LOVELY CLOSING SENTENCE
Okay. All right.
Here we go. "Pandemic." Take one. All right.