1 00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,509 ‎(大胃王餐廳) 2 00:00:11,763 --> 00:00:14,223 ‎有人想聊神的旨意嗎? 3 00:00:14,307 --> 00:00:16,309 ‎-給他啦! ‎-先生,有興趣談神的旨意嗎? 4 00:00:16,392 --> 00:00:18,561 ‎給你,先生,感謝 5 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:21,355 ‎-別丟掉! ‎-他丟掉了 6 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,441 ‎亂丟垃圾的傢伙! 7 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:24,942 ‎-G-O-D ‎-你懂的! 8 00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:27,653 ‎-你沒興趣,沒關係 ‎-不要?這真是… 9 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:29,280 ‎你做得很好 10 00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,282 ‎我好像都慢半拍 11 00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:33,826 ‎妳看看 12 00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:36,454 ‎-賓果 ‎-我自己都沒想到,多放了點感情 13 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,123 ‎-感覺很棒 ‎-繼續加油,做得好 14 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:41,042 ‎我再加一些舞蹈 15 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,087 ‎-那真是… ‎-沒關係 16 00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:47,465 ‎嘿,有人想聽神的旨意嗎? 17 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,382 ‎先生? 18 00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:51,636 ‎嗨,各位,失去信仰嗎? ‎來點信仰烤棉花糖如何? 19 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,055 ‎-老兄,閃邊去 ‎-混蛋 20 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:56,015 ‎他不喜歡雙關語,他們不愛雙關 21 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,935 ‎-誰想談談神? ‎-誰想聊神的事? 22 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,438 ‎NETFLIX 影集 23 00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:07,151 ‎在我身邊的正是米爾頓索普牧師 24 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:10,446 ‎他正在南加州迅速崛起為最具份量 25 00:01:10,530 --> 00:01:12,907 ‎與最受愛戴的宗教人士 26 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:17,370 ‎真不敢當,塔瑪拉 ‎感謝妳的美言,也祝福妳 27 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:21,707 ‎我想請問,你第一次 ‎受到主的召喚是什麼時候? 28 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:24,502 ‎塔瑪拉,我想引述 ‎已故偉人強尼凱許的話 29 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:28,297 ‎想必此刻他正在地獄裡受罪 30 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,299 ‎我已經去遍各地 31 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,051 ‎老實說我很不在行… 32 00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:34,303 ‎-早安 ‎-早安 33 00:01:35,555 --> 00:01:36,889 ‎妳在看什麼? 34 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,810 ‎記得我說那個討厭的牧師很眼熟嗎? 35 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,521 ‎我找到一個舊的置入性行銷節目 ‎果然被我說中了 36 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,231 ‎我有個人很好的阿姨 37 00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:48,067 ‎她買了他那些狗屁商品 ‎老本都被榨乾了 38 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,569 ‎-太慘了吧 ‎-是啊 39 00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:50,862 ‎-天啊 ‎-他在那裡! 40 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,781 ‎天啊,外面聚集一大群人 41 00:01:53,865 --> 00:01:56,742 ‎之前已經人山人海,但現在更多 42 00:01:56,826 --> 00:02:00,288 ‎整條街停滿了採訪車,有夠扯 43 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,415 ‎情況有點失控了 44 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:04,542 ‎我們得離開這裡 45 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,377 ‎好啊,你想去哪裡? 46 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,004 ‎我想我們應該去上班 47 00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:09,338 ‎該死 48 00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:11,549 ‎我一直忘記我有工作 49 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,009 ‎(72號) 50 00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:14,260 ‎天啊 51 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:15,887 ‎(你不該發光) 52 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,180 ‎真要命 53 00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:18,723 ‎克拉克,你能治好我嗎? 54 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:19,974 ‎很抱歉,我應該做不到 55 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,851 ‎-給點個人空間 ‎-真抱歉,嗨 56 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,407 ‎你剛剛說什麼? 57 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:40,661 ‎我好像用西班牙語解釋 ‎《哥林多前書》,顯然我兩者都懂 58 00:02:42,455 --> 00:02:44,999 ‎大家好,很高興看到現場有這麼多人 59 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,335 ‎-有些人看起來很生氣 ‎-我要揍扁你 60 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,962 ‎閉嘴,給我退後 ‎知道為什麼你們被當瘋子看嗎? 61 00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:51,255 ‎因為你們的行為很瘋狂 62 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:55,718 ‎瘋子才有瘋狂行徑,我會輾過妳喔 63 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:57,261 ‎姊妹妻,閃邊去 64 00:02:58,054 --> 00:02:58,888 ‎讓開! 65 00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:01,140 ‎你們不能去參加反槍枝大遊行嗎? 66 00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,767 ‎妳不想戴安全帽嗎? 67 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,436 ‎不了,我腦袋裡的金屬板會過燙 68 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:24,038 ‎-沒用,為什麼我就是解不開? ‎-嘿 69 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,916 ‎你就快破解兩個面了 70 00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:30,294 ‎我需要破解六個面 ‎兩面不算什麼,毫無用處 71 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,673 ‎愚蠢又討厭的魔術方塊 72 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,049 ‎去死啦! 73 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:43,099 ‎很抱歉我突然發飆 74 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,559 ‎應該是跟我的成長過程有關吧 75 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,729 ‎我不知道,也許妳能體會,但… 76 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,066 ‎我父母從巴基斯坦移民到這裡 77 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:56,112 ‎所以我們在這個國家 ‎只許成功不許失敗 78 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:57,488 ‎我明白 79 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,241 ‎我覺得我的字典裡也沒有失敗兩個字 80 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:03,286 ‎是啊,但目前為止妳表現得很不錯 81 00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:07,290 ‎謝謝,過獎了,你這麼說真貼心 82 00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,791 ‎莫辛 83 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:12,128 ‎別對你的魔術方塊發火 84 00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:17,216 ‎分享一個行家秘訣 ‎YouTube上的解謎影片已經破解了 85 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:21,387 ‎-所以我只花五分鐘就搞定魔術方塊 ‎-我不想看影片 86 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:24,640 ‎我想自己用正規方式學習 ‎而且你明顯撒謊 87 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,476 ‎你根本沒破解魔術方塊吧? 88 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:32,064 ‎我的重點是,如果我有心就做得到 89 00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:33,941 ‎那些影片很精彩 90 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,612 ‎但你說得沒錯 ‎破解魔術方塊我連邊都沒沾上 91 00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:43,576 ‎真要我老實說 ‎我不太會使用YouTube 92 00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,703 ‎拜託,太荒謬了 93 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:50,082 ‎你明明在科技公司工作 ‎連小孩都知道怎麼上YouTube 94 00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:52,251 ‎但需要輸入密碼之類的… 95 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,045 ‎大家好 96 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,589 ‎-瞧瞧這對愛侶 ‎-你好,湯姆 97 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:59,133 ‎你們已經正式過了約炮階段嗎? 98 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:03,596 ‎天啊,真沒禮貌,湯姆 99 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:07,641 ‎現在沒人那樣說了 ‎你以為這是哪個年代啊? 100 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:12,730 ‎老實說,因為閱讀障礙 ‎我一直不確定今年是哪一年 101 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,607 ‎完全說不通 102 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:15,900 ‎話雖如此 103 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:17,735 ‎抱歉 104 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:19,737 ‎什麼? 105 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:24,367 ‎我需要你重複一次 ‎你剛剛對我說了什麼? 106 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,286 ‎抱歉 107 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,122 ‎看來凡事都有第一次 108 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:34,752 ‎我注意到我說話太白目 109 00:05:35,628 --> 00:05:37,588 ‎妳也知道我這個人,喜歡開黃腔 110 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:42,176 ‎我常常想說一些蠢話 ‎然後就脫口而出了 111 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:46,055 ‎在我來不及制止自己前已經說出口 112 00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:49,350 ‎我想為此道歉 113 00:05:50,101 --> 00:05:53,270 ‎好,湯姆,我接受你的道歉 114 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:55,981 ‎-這是真的嗎? ‎-你得錄下來 115 00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:59,318 ‎聽著,我昨夜整晚沒睡 116 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:02,822 ‎我想是因為自從看到你發光的影片後 117 00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:05,658 ‎我就像脫胎換骨一樣 118 00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:08,577 ‎克拉克,我覺得你可能是聖人之類的 119 00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:11,705 ‎所以你才會發光,通曉一些道理 120 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,875 ‎我想變成更好的人,也許你可以幫我 121 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:16,210 ‎因為你被… 122 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,712 ‎欽點了? 123 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:20,214 ‎我不知道自己是不是被欽點 124 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:24,260 ‎知道嗎?我好像發現了生命的真諦 125 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:27,263 ‎也許是為了讓我更加提升 126 00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:28,764 ‎我想我可以成為更好的人 127 00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:31,642 ‎我的人生有目標了,那就是追隨你 128 00:06:32,268 --> 00:06:33,978 ‎-追隨我? ‎-對 129 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:37,857 ‎可以抱一下嗎? 130 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,609 ‎當然可以 131 00:06:42,278 --> 00:06:44,572 ‎過來,兄弟,你沒事的,湯姆 132 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,365 ‎這是史上最棒的擁抱 133 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:49,493 ‎天啊 134 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:55,499 ‎好的 135 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:56,876 ‎還沒放手啊 136 00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:59,628 ‎沒錯,我能感覺到你在我體內流動 137 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:04,508 ‎如果你們再不交工時表 ‎公司會記我違規 138 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,136 ‎這可不是飛盤大叔的作風 139 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,598 ‎克拉克,發光太美了 140 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,475 ‎湯姆,鹹豬手別碰到腰 141 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,477 ‎對,當然了 142 00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:19,732 ‎好了,湯姆,你沒事啦 143 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:24,069 ‎各位,真是不好意思 ‎我不是有意打擾 144 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:27,573 ‎讓你們捲入這件事 145 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:28,491 ‎沒事啦 146 00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,618 ‎好,表演結束了 147 00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:33,621 ‎表演結束,好嗎?只是有人發光而已 148 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:34,830 ‎貝拉,表演結束了 149 00:07:34,914 --> 00:07:37,583 ‎-他在發光 ‎-對,我知道,別激動 150 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:46,008 ‎湯姆,我必須說 ‎這是我第一次見到你這麼不討人厭 151 00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:51,805 ‎發洩吧,湯姆 ‎盡情發洩出來,這就對了 152 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,391 ‎天啊,好噁 153 00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,228 ‎我到底怎麼了? 154 00:07:57,895 --> 00:08:01,357 ‎玩手遊壓壓驚,冷靜下來 155 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,946 ‎-噢,克拉克 ‎-我的天啊,不,湯姆 156 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,406 ‎別這樣,湯姆!不可以,老天爺! 157 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:13,661 ‎你不能那麼做 ‎會讓我最怕的噩夢成真 158 00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:16,121 ‎我們早過了尷尬的階段 ‎我現在要追隨你 159 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,666 ‎-對了,出來了嗎? ‎-什麼東西? 160 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,251 ‎便祕那件事 161 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:25,548 ‎不…我就是不想要… ‎那是我的問題,我自己擔心就好 162 00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:28,551 ‎我不想跟任何人分享 ‎就算追隨者也一樣 163 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,219 ‎沒問題喔,聖人 164 00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,805 ‎一個小提議,我想當你的保鑣 165 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:35,683 ‎-什麼? ‎-真的,老兄,我必須幫你 166 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,977 ‎我可以幫你修理人 167 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,105 ‎我不知道,發生了很多事 168 00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:44,984 ‎-你擅長打架嗎? ‎-不,差得遠了 169 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,236 ‎你的計畫破綻也太大了 170 00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:50,406 ‎對,我想你可以這麼說,破綻 171 00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:55,494 ‎幾乎跟偷看別人上廁所一樣破綻百出 172 00:08:56,203 --> 00:09:00,624 ‎(兒子,我是老爸,我決定原諒你 ‎一起享受愉快的桑拿浴) 173 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,293 ‎(一小時後在你的桑拿房見) 174 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,711 ‎太棒了 175 00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,921 ‎湯姆,請給我一點空間 176 00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:06,964 ‎妳好 177 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:11,844 ‎我試著阻止他跟蹤你,但他太狡猾了 178 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,262 ‎湯姆,退後 179 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:14,430 ‎不可能 180 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:16,932 ‎你趕時間嗎? 181 00:09:17,016 --> 00:09:19,268 ‎對,我爸想跟我談談,所以… 182 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,687 ‎很好啊,這是好事 183 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,731 ‎我不認識令尊,但如果你需要 184 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:25,899 ‎有人作伴或給予支持的話 185 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,860 ‎其實我們要去洗桑拿浴 186 00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,028 ‎-我退出 ‎-我加入 187 00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:30,529 ‎-沒你的份 ‎-沒問題 188 00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,866 ‎但也許我們晚點可以碰面? ‎我再告訴妳情況 189 00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:34,825 ‎好啊 190 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,911 ‎但我不想打擾妳做事 ‎我不必黏那麼緊 191 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,913 ‎我喜歡你黏著我 192 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:41,582 ‎-好喔 ‎-祝你們父子洗得愉快 193 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,502 ‎我趁工作時補個眠,我們晚點見 194 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:48,088 ‎不行,辦公室裡不准睡覺 195 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:51,050 ‎-飛盤大叔,回你的洞穴去 ‎-好吧 196 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,845 ‎-順便關掉吸頂燈 ‎-還有人在工作 197 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:59,308 ‎好主意,這樣吧 ‎大家行行好,請把手機關靜音 198 00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:02,311 ‎-休息五分鐘,各位 ‎-好 199 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,276 ‎嘿!他在那裡 200 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,073 ‎(娶我吧克拉克,克拉克是神) 201 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:16,283 ‎抱歉有那麼多採訪車,爸 202 00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:22,539 ‎我想你很快會發現 ‎這整件事只是個天大的誤會 203 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:23,749 ‎你好,克拉克 204 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,251 ‎老爸,你怎麼能這樣? 205 00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:28,337 ‎牧師是來幫你的,兒子 206 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,255 ‎他想碰面 207 00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:34,009 ‎所以聯絡我,我邀他 ‎跟我們一起享受愉快的桑拿浴 208 00:10:36,387 --> 00:10:37,304 ‎你不熱嗎? 209 00:10:37,388 --> 00:10:38,972 ‎義者不流汗 210 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,683 ‎請坐吧 211 00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:42,017 ‎天啊,好吧 212 00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:46,522 ‎你知道《狼來了》的故事嗎? 213 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,440 ‎-知道,很熟 ‎-是伊索寫的 214 00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:51,694 ‎《伊索寓言》描述 ‎有個男孩一直喊狼來了 215 00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:56,907 ‎雖然實際上並沒有狼威脅他的羊群 216 00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:01,078 ‎但有一天,他終於真的看到狼了 217 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,455 ‎然後他又喊狼來了 218 00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:08,293 ‎但鎮民沒來救他 219 00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,629 ‎因為他們不再信任他了 220 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:12,756 ‎男孩的羊群被吃光光 221 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:17,803 ‎這個故事的寓意是說 ‎騙子無法取信於人 222 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,305 ‎即使他們說的是實話 223 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,224 ‎你聽懂了嗎? 224 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,686 ‎很明顯你把我當成喊狼來了的男孩 225 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,479 ‎-你可以直接切入重點 ‎-是 226 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:32,234 ‎我不會讓我的信眾被集體吞噬 ‎只因為受到一個乳臭未乾 227 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,737 ‎滿口謊言的小子干擾 228 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:35,654 ‎其實呢 229 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,700 ‎反駁一下,這不是我自找的 230 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,160 ‎就那樣發生了 231 00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:44,913 ‎這不是騙人把戲 ‎是真的,很匪夷所思 232 00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:47,207 ‎拜託,兒子,老實點吧 233 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:50,461 ‎你不能再說謊了,尤其是對我 234 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,546 ‎省省吧,你說呢? 235 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,173 ‎這樣吧 236 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:56,925 ‎我看能不能秀給你看 237 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,431 ‎你做什麼? 238 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,144 ‎天啊 239 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,061 ‎好喔 240 00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:09,813 ‎不賴,所以我做到了 241 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:10,856 ‎噢,老天 242 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:15,277 ‎兒子,我真的很抱歉居然不相信你 243 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,238 ‎沒關係,老爸,我知道一時難以接受 244 00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,782 ‎但這真的不是騙人把戲 245 00:12:19,865 --> 00:12:21,325 ‎大膽狂徒! 246 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,076 ‎居然用詭計與神作對 247 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,038 ‎-詭計? ‎-立刻熄掉那地獄之火 248 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:29,666 ‎-你的遙控器在哪裡? ‎-遙控器?我穿著長袍耶 249 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:33,295 ‎-能放在哪裡?我兩手都是空的 ‎-我知道你的遙控器在哪裡 250 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:34,338 ‎塞在你的屁股裡 251 00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:38,342 ‎我幹嘛把遙控器塞在我的… 252 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,593 ‎-因為你是卑鄙小人 ‎-嘿 253 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:43,639 ‎你再罵我兒子卑鄙一次 ‎我就揍得你滿地找牙 254 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:48,560 ‎我絕不允許神棍 ‎減損我們這些虔誠者得到的關注 255 00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,813 ‎我們才是主的真正使者 256 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:53,607 ‎我跟你保證,克拉克 257 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:56,360 ‎立刻停止玩這種騙人把戲 258 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,695 ‎否則我會毀了你 259 00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,117 ‎你去吃屎吧 260 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:09,331 ‎你真的覺得這次更能控制燈光嗎? 261 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,542 ‎對,應該是 262 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,043 ‎這很不得了 263 00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:17,756 ‎希望如此,我覺得我的使命 ‎近在咫尺,但我還想不透 264 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,468 ‎我知道你會弄清楚該怎麼做的 265 00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:23,011 ‎-謝謝 ‎-好了 266 00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:24,096 ‎-謝謝 ‎-要咖啡嗎? 267 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:25,514 ‎-不用了,謝謝 ‎-沒問題 268 00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:30,060 ‎好消息是你們父子倆又和好了 269 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,020 ‎-對啊,謝謝 ‎-我知道你們很親近 270 00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:33,146 ‎-謝謝 ‎-要鮮奶油嗎? 271 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:35,774 ‎-不用了,謝謝 ‎-好了,給你 272 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,069 ‎我不是想探你隱私,但是 273 00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,030 ‎我有點好奇你母親 274 00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:46,076 ‎還在你的生活中或還活著嗎? 275 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:47,536 ‎她很好 276 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,330 ‎我父母在我13歲時離婚 277 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:53,458 ‎我媽算是背叛我爸吧 278 00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:54,543 ‎算是? 279 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:57,337 ‎總之她背著我爸出軌 280 00:13:57,421 --> 00:14:02,384 ‎他們分開後,她似乎不太想跟我相處 281 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,429 ‎但我跟我爸很親,所以我跟他一起住 282 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,015 ‎我還是會跟我媽見面 ‎在聖誕節和那個 283 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,309 ‎聖誕節時 284 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:12,936 ‎湯姆 285 00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:17,691 ‎恕我冒昧,但我一直在偷聽 286 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:22,946 ‎有禮貌又變態 ‎高難度的組合,但你做到了 287 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,949 ‎兄弟,這把巨大又詭異的劍 ‎是怎麼回事? 288 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,159 ‎克拉克 289 00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:31,246 ‎我用這把劍向你宣誓 290 00:14:31,747 --> 00:14:33,749 ‎你也向他求婚嗎? 291 00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,126 ‎艾蜜莉,這只是比喻 292 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,004 ‎現在我要當克拉克的保鑣了 293 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:40,672 ‎什麼?我並沒有同意這件事 294 00:14:40,756 --> 00:14:44,051 ‎別擔心,我不會亂砍人 ‎劍是用保麗龍做的 295 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,093 ‎謝天謝地 296 00:14:45,177 --> 00:14:48,972 ‎但我想可以用它來搥人 297 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,808 ‎要我去槌打那個牧師嗎? 298 00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:52,726 ‎什麼? 299 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,811 ‎不行,妳本來要說不行的,對吧? 300 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,355 ‎我在等你回答 301 00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:58,649 ‎妳等著看風向嗎? 302 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,025 ‎-我還在猶豫 ‎-好吧 303 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:02,319 ‎好吧,絕對不行,不准槌打任何人 304 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,612 ‎那就好 305 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:06,949 ‎好奇一問 ‎你怎麼有這麼一大把劍? 306 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,034 ‎-從哪弄來的? ‎-我可以帶你去看 307 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,914 ‎你們當中誰夠有膽量 308 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:17,793 ‎擊敗吉爾格斯的食人魔? 309 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:23,674 ‎藉由大型會戰 ‎決定吉爾加拉特人的命運? 310 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,261 ‎我超有膽 311 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:33,058 ‎格倫代爾的甘溫,可怕的地精! 312 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,560 ‎-這是什麼? ‎-實景真人角色扮演 313 00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,771 ‎-我是演員 ‎-你看起來很酷 314 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:41,900 ‎當然好啊,吉爾加的格拉追尤爾 315 00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:43,568 ‎名字很相似 316 00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:47,906 ‎對,就是我,吉爾加的吉追尤爾 ‎我要挑戰你 317 00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:50,409 ‎吉爾格斯的食人魔 318 00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:54,579 ‎他們用了很多“吉” ‎明明有那麼多字可以選,但無所謂 319 00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:55,998 ‎我跟他們提過了 320 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:58,709 ‎但維儂負責取名,他是任務總管 321 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,627 ‎維儂是那個厚臉皮的地精嗎? 322 00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:01,962 ‎對 323 00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,380 ‎妳怎麼知道? 324 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,507 ‎都聽好了! 325 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,843 ‎暴雪女王駕到 326 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:13,432 ‎吉爾加的高利追尤爾 ‎你必須先擊敗我 327 00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:16,852 ‎哥達斯族的葛蘭溫 ‎進行一場大型會戰 328 00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:19,104 ‎才有資格殺掉 329 00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,147 ‎那個賤貨 330 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,691 ‎-去妳的,艾蜜莉 ‎-別出戲 331 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,902 ‎憑我一己之力就能拯救戈格拉斯 332 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,863 ‎吉姆,喬 333 00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:29,948 ‎釋放我的野獸 334 00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:30,949 ‎遵命,女王 335 00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:36,038 ‎葛蘭溫,哥達斯族的暴雪女王 336 00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:41,001 ‎妳必須跟吉爾加的格拉追尤爾對決 337 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,628 ‎因為戰帖已經下了 338 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:51,803 ‎挑戰妳! 339 00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:54,806 ‎開始決鬥吧! 340 00:16:54,890 --> 00:16:56,141 ‎-決鬥? ‎-是啊 341 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,476 ‎-什麼? ‎-來了 342 00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,019 ‎天啊,那是妳和… 343 00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:04,441 ‎來真的 344 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,627 ‎我屈服,我認輸了,該死! 345 00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:32,719 ‎我的天啊,你摔得好重 346 00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:34,513 ‎-炸彈先生湯姆 ‎-滾開,飛盤大叔 347 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:35,639 ‎輪不到你叫我滾 348 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,850 ‎原來你在這裡 349 00:17:38,934 --> 00:17:40,769 ‎剛才那段影片很精彩吧? 350 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:41,686 ‎是啊 351 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,772 ‎超棒的,我應該天天看 352 00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:46,983 ‎能笑的感覺真好,對吧?尤其是現在 353 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,068 ‎就是說啊 354 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,779 ‎老莫,我在想… 355 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,073 ‎如果這個就是呢? 356 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:55,700 ‎-如果這是什麼? ‎-末日 357 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:59,913 ‎噢不,我不認為這是末日 358 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:03,083 ‎但如果克拉克真的是先知 359 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,417 ‎也許這就是了 360 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,379 ‎可能是世界末日降臨 361 00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:10,632 ‎這樣的話,你跟我,我們所有人 362 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,135 ‎都會死翹翹 363 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,428 ‎諸神黃昏 364 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,807 ‎不是諸神黃昏 ‎那是《雷神索爾》的電影 365 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:23,895 ‎我知道,我只是… ‎我只是想讓氣氛輕鬆點,抱歉 366 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:28,692 ‎我有東西要給你 367 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,575 ‎這是更難解開的魔術方塊嗎? 368 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:38,869 ‎它其實是 369 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:43,832 ‎五角速解十二面體魔方解謎玩具 370 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:45,959 ‎看起來很難 371 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,378 ‎應該吧,但我想你有能力挑戰 372 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:52,716 ‎我很欣賞 ‎你不用偷吃步的方式玩魔術方塊 373 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:57,053 ‎拒絕上網找解答 ‎凸顯了你這個人的品格 374 00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:01,349 ‎我覺得另一個魔術方塊太簡單了 375 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:04,102 ‎所以你絕對不能放棄,再接再厲 376 00:19:05,604 --> 00:19:06,688 ‎謝謝,天啊 377 00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,900 ‎妳人真好 378 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,943 ‎-我很高興你喜歡 ‎-我喜歡 379 00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,779 ‎-好喔 ‎-我會繼續努力的 380 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:15,780 ‎那就好 381 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:20,076 ‎我還想說… 382 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,914 ‎如果這真的是世界末日… ‎希望不是啦,但如果末日降臨… 383 00:19:24,539 --> 00:19:28,543 ‎我想告訴你,我覺得你是大好人 384 00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:32,547 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-真的 385 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:34,966 ‎大好人,對 386 00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:39,888 ‎好了 387 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,522 ‎我覺得妳… 388 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:02,744 ‎天哪 389 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,163 ‎你好,湯姆 390 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,377 ‎很有趣吧?他們看不到我,我喜歡 391 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,922 ‎老兄,我以為再也見不到你了 ‎你好啊 392 00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:15,757 ‎我們現在都是朋友了 393 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:16,716 ‎嗨,艾蜜莉 394 00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:20,428 ‎嘿,溫蒂,我喜歡妳綁起頭髮 395 00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:23,181 ‎多謝誇獎,妳還好嗎? 396 00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:26,393 ‎我只是在伸展手肘 397 00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:28,687 ‎妳應該去看醫生 398 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,772 ‎-嗨,克拉克 ‎-嗨,溫蒂 399 00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:33,942 ‎所以她也看不到你? 400 00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,860 ‎我不想在你們的世界現身 401 00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:41,324 ‎所以我保證 ‎只有你們兩個凡人看得見我 402 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,159 ‎你來啦,太棒了 403 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,161 ‎-嘿,你好啊 ‎-很高興見到你,兄弟 404 00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,497 ‎老兄,很高興見面 405 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,456 ‎等等,什麼? 406 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:52,377 ‎我說話太衝別見怪 ‎看在老天份上,現在是演哪齣? 407 00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:56,423 ‎長話短說,我是重要的執行官 408 00:20:56,506 --> 00:21:01,303 ‎有點像天堂和凡間的中階經理 409 00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:04,180 ‎身兼二職,領一份薪水,但滿於現況 410 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,142 ‎等等,我得理解一下你說的話 411 00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:11,396 ‎-你是說這副德行能當天使? ‎-是的 412 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,691 ‎這算什麼?你的呆萌人類裝扮嗎? 413 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,569 ‎他在天堂也這副打扮 414 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:18,987 ‎你在天上幹嘛? 415 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:23,325 ‎在天堂裡,如果有大型活動 ‎好比盛大的天族聚會 416 00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:26,328 ‎我負責聯繫所有關係人 417 00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:29,748 ‎然後我會提供他們會議的即時反饋 418 00:21:29,831 --> 00:21:34,419 ‎簡單來說,他只是寄送 ‎大家都知道內容的報告 419 00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,421 ‎他在人間也一樣 420 00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:41,426 ‎嘿,兩位,沒什麼大不了 ‎但我得告訴你們一件事 421 00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:44,846 ‎當人們說“沒什麼大不了”時 ‎通常表示事情有點大條 422 00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:46,806 ‎不會啦,可能沒什麼 423 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,100 ‎其實挺大條的 424 00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:51,895 ‎-你剛剛說沒什麼大不了 ‎-事情大條了 425 00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:55,106 ‎好吧,我要洩漏天機了 426 00:21:56,775 --> 00:21:57,692 ‎她來了 427 00:21:58,401 --> 00:21:59,235 ‎誰來了? 428 00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,404 ‎撒旦 429 00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:06,076 ‎注意危險 430 00:23:57,353 --> 00:24:02,358 ‎字幕翻譯:莊雅婷