1 00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:10,386 You're sure this is still the way you wanna go? 2 00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:12,764 I don't know that it's really trending anymore. 3 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:15,892 Well, my dad says it's very big with the kids on the TikTok. 4 00:00:16,476 --> 00:00:21,355 Okay. Well, nobody knows about social more than older people, so… cool! 5 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:22,273 -All right. -Okay. 6 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,191 So let's, uh… 7 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:26,402 Let's go three, two, one. 8 00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,865 -Go! Go! Go! 9 00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:32,992 -Go! Go! 10 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,285 -Go! Go! 11 00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,455 -God! God! God! 12 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,706 -God! 13 00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:40,792 -God! God! 14 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,960 -Go! Go! 15 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,587 -Who's next? 16 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,005 -God's next! 17 00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:58,559 -Clark… -God's next! 18 00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:00,061 -…dancing on TikTok. 19 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,313 -Thoughts? -What? 20 00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:04,565 It occurs to me you don't know 21 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:07,193 why I called this, the first meeting of the Council of Clark. 22 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:10,822 I'm definitely wondering why you got us both to stay here so late. 23 00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:13,241 And what's the Council of Clark? 24 00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:14,408 Well, it's us. 25 00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:17,620 No. I'm sure I wouldn't join a group called the Council of Clark. 26 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,621 I definitely wouldn't. 27 00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,790 Let's not argue about the name of the council, 28 00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:21,999 which has a kick-ass, 29 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,335 -indelible, memorable name that-- -Oh gosh! 30 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,546 Tom-othy! 31 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:30,842 Right now, I'm imagining a very big glass of red wine. 32 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,385 -Mm. -Give me one compelling reason 33 00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:36,305 why I shouldn't run awayfrom you, towards a glass of rojo 34 00:01:36,389 --> 00:01:38,558 with a decent price point and plenty of attitude. 35 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:39,600 Okay. You wish. 36 00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:43,604 Because I'm seeing some major red flags here. Think about it. 37 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,565 I mean, he leaves the office 38 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:48,151 for long hours with Amily doing God knows what. 39 00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:49,777 He's keeping information from us. 40 00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:53,447 What is it specifically that you think he is withholding from us? 41 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,324 -Isn't it obvious? -No. 42 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,827 Clark is pathologically honest. 43 00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,663 Remember the time he found that ten-dollar bill on the ground? 44 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:04,625 Then he spent $7 printing out little signs to see who'd claim it. 45 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:07,044 Six people claimed it, and he gave them all $10. 46 00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:10,298 -Finding that $10 bill cost him $67. -Precisely. 47 00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:15,094 But you know, if he found ten and then spent sev-- and then… 48 00:02:15,595 --> 00:02:17,555 It-- I dispute that number. 49 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,141 I move to disband this Council of Clark. 50 00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:25,605 And if it's okay, I'd love to join you for a reasonably priced glass of ro-yo. 51 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:27,356 Rojo. But yeah, yeah. Sure, let's go. 52 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,941 -Yeah! -No, no, no, no. Motion denied. 53 00:02:29,025 --> 00:02:30,985 Um, guys, the council will stand. 54 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,196 No, it's not a thing. That name, it grates. 55 00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:34,947 -I don't like it. It's not a thing. -Wait-- 56 00:02:35,031 --> 00:02:36,908 We'll stand the test of time. We're rock solid. 57 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:37,992 -Bye-bye! -Guys, uh-- 58 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,453 Forget about the name, which is the Council of Clark-- 59 00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:43,164 When I say "forget about the name," I mean I've already named it. 60 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,708 You don't have to do anything. There's merch on the way 61 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,127 with that name on it coming in your sizes each. 62 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:49,629 Guys, I'm worried about Clark! 63 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:52,006 If he's holding out on us, we can't help him. 64 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:55,426 Tom, I am pretty sure Clark wouldn't keep secrets from us, 65 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,136 -especially if it was something bad. -Mm. 66 00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,506 I am standing outside the home 67 00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:37,260 of Clark Thompson, known as the man who glows. 68 00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:41,264 Who would have thought we would find a story that continues to grow nationally? 69 00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:46,018 The story of an incredibly average man turned prophet, 70 00:03:46,102 --> 00:03:50,022 and who is seemingly splitting popular opinion in half. 71 00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:53,985 know things are crazy out there, but look on the bright side. 72 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,904 You make great guacamole. You make such great guacamole, 73 00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:58,739 and then you could sell it. 74 00:03:58,823 --> 00:04:01,659 And this one's for free… You could call it "Holy Guacamole." 75 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,828 That's a good one. I like that. 76 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,414 Um, hey. Do you know, um, 77 00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,666 I was thinking about something… 78 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,959 Janet Jackson? 79 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,670 Like, where has she been for, what, six, seven, eight years? 80 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:13,587 Me too! 81 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,561 Hey, hey! 82 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:29,812 Are you here to see Clark too? 83 00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:32,523 -Isn't he amazing? 84 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,445 God, you're so tense. 85 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,281 -You gotta relax. -Sure. 86 00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:42,158 This shitty couch. 87 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:44,869 My mom got it for me. She says, "Comfort is for the weak." 88 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:45,995 Christ. 89 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:49,707 It's just hard to relax because Satan wants to, I guess, kill me? 90 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,958 Yeah. 91 00:04:51,042 --> 00:04:54,211 -Well, everybody's into you, right? -Right. 92 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,421 And look at this. 93 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:59,425 Chip and a dip. It's a snack-tivity. 94 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,802 But I'm willing to share. 95 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:04,263 Thank you. 96 00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:08,100 Oh! Fingers in, fingers out. 97 00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,394 Fingers in, fingers… Maybe. 98 00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:13,147 You got a lot. You like that? 99 00:05:15,775 --> 00:05:17,818 You know what you have to stop doing? 100 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:21,364 You have to stop thinking that the whole world is about to end. 101 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,076 Satan's here, bitches. 102 00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,121 What was that? 103 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:30,664 -I don't know. 104 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:35,836 What's so funny, idiot? 105 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,798 I could've told you you can't get inside his house. 106 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:41,050 -Huh. How? 107 00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:44,678 'Cause I used my powers to make it so you can't open it. That's how. 108 00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:47,098 Who do you think you are, Harry fuckin' Potter? 109 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,850 Oh, this is nothing like Harry Potter. 110 00:05:49,934 --> 00:05:51,644 Honestly, it's very similar to Harry Potter, 111 00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:52,937 but it's purely coincidental. 112 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,772 Oh, Amily, Clark. 113 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:58,442 Uh, this is Satan. Satan, Amily, Clark. 114 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,569 Uh, gimme a sec with these two. 115 00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,072 -No! 116 00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:05,032 -Oh my God! -Sorry, can't hear you. 117 00:06:05,658 --> 00:06:10,162 Don't trust her. She can't hurt you while you're inside the threshold. 118 00:06:10,246 --> 00:06:12,039 Okay? You're also safe at your office. 119 00:06:12,123 --> 00:06:14,834 If you stay on the sidewalk and go directly to and from work 120 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:17,128 on the paths you normally take, you should be fine. 121 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:20,297 We Harry Pottered your normal routes too, so as long as you're in travel mode 122 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,258 from place to place, you're fine. 123 00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:25,386 -Every time I see you… -Sorry it gets so technical. 124 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:26,429 I blame Frisbee! 125 00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:30,266 Why can't you Harry Potter the world, and then we're safe everywhere? 126 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:32,518 Doesn't work like that. Wait for it. 127 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,312 -And I hate your stupid face! 128 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:39,442 Just so you know, I will protect these two fine people until my dying breath. 129 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,360 I will never leave their side. 130 00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:45,823 Sorry, guys, I have to go. The boss needs me. It's urgent. 131 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,660 Don't do anything she says. She's evil, and she wants to kill you. 132 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,078 -Wait, wait! You can't go! -No! 133 00:06:51,162 --> 00:06:52,746 -Not right now! -You can't… leave us. 134 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,123 -Hi. 135 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:58,544 I really think we might've gotten off on the wrong foot. 136 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:03,841 How about, I don't know, maybe I just come in for a quick glass of white wine 137 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,094 -and we could just talk this through? -No. 138 00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:09,889 -Why not? -Because you're Satan, 139 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,974 and I don't drink carrot juice. 140 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:13,851 She doesn't like white wine. 141 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:15,644 God. 142 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,356 You guys, I have to tell you something. 143 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:23,777 I don't think it's fair. I just feel like I get a bad rap. 144 00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:27,281 I mean, actually, demons as a whole are, like, maligned but… 145 00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:31,160 Look, yes, yes, truth. 146 00:07:31,911 --> 00:07:37,249 There is a battle. There is a struggle between Lucifer and God 147 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,168 for the Kingdom of Heaven. 148 00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:43,088 But all Lucifer wants to do is just make everything more fun. 149 00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,132 God's boring. 150 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:46,550 I mean… 151 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,553 Things right now are… Ugh! 152 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:52,765 They're going pretty amazing, and we wouldn't wanna mess that up. 153 00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:56,936 I mean, if every year could be 2020! 154 00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:57,978 Sing! 155 00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:06,862 So, what I would love, we would love, our side would love 156 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,906 is if, Clark, you could 157 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:10,950 maybe help us? 158 00:08:12,243 --> 00:08:13,410 What do you say? 159 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:17,164 I mean, I could really make it worth your while. 160 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,542 I could give you stuff. 161 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:20,918 Like what? 162 00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:23,546 -Oh, like… 163 00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:28,926 Oh! 164 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:29,927 Ooh! 165 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,554 -Oh, this feels wrong. 166 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,138 Uh-uh-uh! 167 00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,640 Just because it's wrong 168 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,850 doesn't make it bad. 169 00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:40,229 Bad! 170 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,731 I like her. I like you. 171 00:08:43,274 --> 00:08:45,818 Oh! It's because your foot's over the threshold. That's why. 172 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,737 -Oh my God. 173 00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,823 What is goin' on? 174 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,575 -You know what? 175 00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:53,951 I think I'm just gonna go ahead 176 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,078 -and ask you to leave my porch. 177 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:57,496 No. 178 00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,039 Okay, I banish… 179 00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:00,624 -Oh. -…thee. 180 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,626 -Banishment. -I hereby banish thee. 181 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,545 Ooh. Away! 182 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,755 Oh. Know what I think? 183 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,508 You're not smart enough 184 00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:11,594 to do God's will. 185 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:15,264 -And I think… you know that. 186 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,767 Ooh! I gotta go join the battle up there. 187 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:21,687 But I will be back soon to kill you. 188 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:27,192 So fuck you, fuck you, and fuck your precious lemon tree. 189 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:29,111 Toodles! 190 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,866 The bitch burned down your lemon tree. 191 00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:38,329 I don't know how you're so calm. You seem so calm. My heart is palpitating. 192 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:41,373 My pulse rate is-- it's staggering. It's staggering. 193 00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:43,459 God, I don't feel anything. 194 00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:46,086 -Well, it would be on this-- -Oh, shit. 195 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,006 -Okay, I'm pickin' something up. -Good, good, good. 196 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,549 Whew. 197 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:54,178 You know, um… if it would, uh… be of comfort to you, 198 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,639 I-- I would be willing, you know, to stay over again. 199 00:09:56,722 --> 00:10:00,225 Oh, that would be cool. I mean, for your-- I was thinking about your safety. 200 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,102 -For safety's sake. -Thank you. 201 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,064 You smell that? 202 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:06,815 -Smell what? 203 00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,735 Something-- It smells… My God, I think it… 204 00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:12,613 -I think it's coming from you. -What? 205 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,365 -Holy shit. -Is something-- 206 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,784 You smell exactly like 207 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,244 these chocolate chip cookies my grandma used to make. 208 00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,455 -Really? 209 00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:32,424 My friends, Clark Thompson, or… "the man who glows"… 210 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:33,550 Huh. Yeah. 211 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:38,013 He's trying to shake our faith by being untruthful. 212 00:10:38,097 --> 00:10:40,099 He's trying to bamboozle us… 213 00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:41,892 -Liar! -…into following him! 214 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,727 -Yeah! The devil… 215 00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:44,978 Are We gonna let that happen? 216 00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,064 -No! -Are we going to let that happen? 217 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,482 -No! -No, indeed! 218 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,568 Because only those who understand God… 219 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,655 -That's right! -…can truly know God… 220 00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,407 -Right! -…as we do. 221 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:59,535 -Amen! -Only the righteous… 222 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,036 -That's right. -…are right. 223 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,288 -Amen. -Let me hear you. 224 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,708 Only the righteous are right! 225 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:10,254 Now, God preaches peace, and I preach the word of God. 226 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,213 Preach on! 227 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:15,259 But if ever there was someone I was going to punch in the bloody face, 228 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,885 -it would be Clark Thompson! 229 00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:20,681 I would knock that glow right off of him! 230 00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:26,770 Wait. Is this safe? 231 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:30,858 Chamuel said that he Harry Pottered all of the routes, so it should be. 232 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,902 Hey, Clark! Only the righteous are right! 233 00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:36,613 You little shit! 234 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,491 Yeah! Yeah! 235 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,118 I hope that hurts! 236 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,995 And you spelled "believe" wrong! 237 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,373 Hey! Stop. 238 00:11:46,457 --> 00:11:47,916 -Don't even! -Sorry! 239 00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:51,170 Come on. You wish! 240 00:11:52,463 --> 00:11:53,922 Won't change my mind, Tom. 241 00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:56,258 I'm not gonna move your desk closer to Clark's. 242 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,176 Why not? 243 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,971 Because the strategic floor plan was decided by corporate two months ago, 244 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,806 -and I sent around a dozen emails… 245 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,850 …confirming it with all of you 246 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,226 to maximize productivity. 247 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,479 You're not hearing me. I don't care about any of that. 248 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:12,316 Clark is keeping key information from me. He knows stuff he's not saying. 249 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,652 -I don't know anything about that. -Well, this sucks. I want my desk moved. 250 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:19,031 I'm coming back in here every day to demand it is moved until it is. 251 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,992 A daily huddle, just you and me? 252 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,243 -No, what? -I love this. 253 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:26,371 -No, don't do that. -I've got, like, 12:45 to 1:15 every day. 254 00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:27,790 -A half hour. -I haven't got time. 255 00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,291 -No, no, no. -I'll soft put this in. 256 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,752 -Just soft. -No, don't put it in at all. I've left. 257 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,671 -Fridays would have to be later. 7:30. -God, no! 258 00:12:35,214 --> 00:12:37,466 We can do an hour. You've got plenty of time. 259 00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:45,057 Hi. 260 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,267 -Hey. -Hi. 261 00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:51,730 Hi. I was just wondering, uh, about, uh… what you mentioned the other day? 262 00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:55,192 What? That I think you're nice? 263 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,819 Yes, that. Um… 264 00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:59,571 And, you know, there's obviously, uh, so many different ways 265 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:02,699 that one could take that, uh… statement. 266 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:07,538 I just really wanted to share that if the world was about to end, 267 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,457 I think you're nice. 268 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:11,917 Because you are nice. 269 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:16,547 And what comes after that could be whatever comes after that, you know? 270 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,258 It's okay that I'm so old? 271 00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:21,385 Yes. 272 00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:23,804 -Actually, hang on. -Huh? 273 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,349 You're not, like, a really handsome, swole 55, are you? 274 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,018 Uh… I'm-- I'm 37. 275 00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:31,311 -Yes! 276 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,021 37 is fab! 277 00:13:33,105 --> 00:13:35,190 -Oh, well, good. -Yeah, that's great. 278 00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:36,483 It's good. 279 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,152 Um… So, you know… 280 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:43,448 um, I'm still nowhere closer to solving that incredibly difficult cube. 281 00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:46,076 The Pentagonal Dodecahedron Speed Cube. 282 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,953 -That's the one. You know. -Yeah. 283 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,663 -You're so smart. -Thank you. 284 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,165 -I really like that. -No. My thing's more important. I promise. 285 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:55,043 That dick Frisbee won't let me move my desk. 286 00:13:55,127 --> 00:13:57,796 -Let's keep it classy, Tom. -I'm on a break, Frisbee! 287 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,591 Something's got to be done. 288 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,719 If I'm going to be of any use to Clark, I need proximity. 289 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,346 Aw! I'm gonna focus on the positive there, 290 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,640 which is that you wanting to be of use to Clark 291 00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:11,059 is the least selfish thing I've ever heard you say, buddy! 292 00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:13,020 Wait. Do you guys smell something? 293 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,062 -Yeah. -Mm… 294 00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,690 -My God. Smells like a vintage sailboat. 295 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,234 -My grandmother's quilt! -Hot Pockets. 296 00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,153 -What smells so good? -Hi, guys! Hi. 297 00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,992 Did you just walk through a vintage boatyard? 298 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,243 -What? -Oh, my gosh. 299 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,329 -Hey, it's you. -Wendy. 300 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,914 -You smell like Heaven, buddy. -What? 301 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,123 -You guys are wrong. -My God. 302 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,292 -Pepperoni Hot Pockets. What's going on? -Amily! Amily! 303 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,086 -Oh my God! What are you doing? -Amily! Amily! Amily! 304 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:39,838 -Oh my God, all of you. -No, it's-- 305 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,632 What is going on? You're like feral cats. 306 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,468 No, no, no, no, no. You tell us what's going on! 307 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,346 We're not privy to the whole picture, and now you're smelling so good? 308 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:48,305 -Yeah. -So good. 309 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,141 And I can't be your bodyguard if you don't let me in. 310 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,685 -The Council of Clark agrees. -What's the Council of Clark? 311 00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:55,145 -Nothing. -Not a thing. 312 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:58,023 Okay, look, spill it. What's goin' on? 313 00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:01,026 -Well, if you must know, I mean, I… 314 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:04,154 -Some guy threw a brick through my window. -Crazy guy. 315 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,614 -What? -On the way in. 316 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:08,700 And, uh, just lately, I've been feeling a little overwhelmed. 317 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:16,166 -Oh! I love Rush. 318 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:19,336 -Did you play this for me? -Uh… I'm not sure. 319 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,879 I'm gonna go use the restroom. 320 00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,381 Cool with me. Everybody poops. 321 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,383 -No, thank you. -Thanks for this! 322 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,013 I think it's a flute. 323 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:36,061 Oh! 324 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,194 Oh, come on! What ha-- 325 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,029 -What-- -No, Frisbee, get out. 326 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:49,574 -You made the music turn off. Get out! -I… just wanted to see what the fun was. 327 00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:50,701 All right. 328 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:55,831 Tom? 329 00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,457 I need some privacy, please. 330 00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,793 Oh, no, Clark. It's me. God. 331 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,336 Oh, my gosh. 332 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,921 You're not gonna faint. 333 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,132 Come on out and let's have a little bit of a chat. 334 00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:07,342 We both know you're just playing Candy Crush in there. 335 00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:08,552 Your pants are still up. 336 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,096 Okay. 337 00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:15,225 Hi. 338 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,644 Um… 339 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,440 And fo… for the record, I guess I always figured you-- 340 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,607 you would be a woman. 341 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:26,611 I come in many forms. This one is your fourth-year nurse, Mrs. Rowbotham. 342 00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,738 Oh! I loved her. 343 00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:32,117 -Oh! G for God. That's so cool. 344 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,162 Oh, you're funny. I like you. 345 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,580 That's why I picked you, you know. 346 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,374 Because you're sweet and simple like pecan pie. 347 00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,918 Thank yo . I have a mild nut allergy. 348 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:42,836 No, I know. 349 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,423 -So cool. -Clark. 350 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:50,761 I called Chamuel back because we were in a particularly hairy portion 351 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,304 of the battle in Heaven. 352 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,307 Lucifer and his forces are attacking me at this very moment 353 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,517 in multiple places and intercosmic planes. 354 00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,227 -But aren't you here? -Yes. 355 00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:01,605 The universe is like a giant baklava. 356 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:06,485 Everything can happen in multiple places and multiple timescapes. 357 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:09,154 So you're saying that you're fighting Lucifer in Heaven 358 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,531 at the same time you're talking to me in this men's room. 359 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,450 Like a baklava. 360 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,078 I'm not sure I'm getting the baklava reference. 361 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,038 Am I thinking of spanakopita? 362 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:21,291 No, dear. The universe is nothing like a spanakopita. 363 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:25,378 Now, Clark, I came here because I need to let you know 364 00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,672 that you have to start getting the message out. 365 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,549 Chamuel told you to do that, right? 366 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,260 Yes, he did. He did. 367 00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:35,847 Um, and I'm sorry, I tried a few things, but they went rather poorly. 368 00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:38,016 Someone threw a flashlight at my face. 369 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,101 Hmm. Hmm. 370 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,561 What exactly is the message I'm supposed to get out there? 371 00:17:41,645 --> 00:17:43,730 Chamuel was a little light on the details. 372 00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:47,067 I need you to let people know that God is real 373 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,610 and God is good. 374 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:53,073 And everybody, meaning all religions, are actually quite right about God. 375 00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:56,076 Also, nobody's really wrong. 376 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,954 I'm okay with all flavors, unless you're full crazy train, 377 00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,456 or use my name to hurt people. 378 00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:05,627 So, you let everyone know that, and then I want to know what people say. 379 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,088 Great. I-- I can try to do that. 380 00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,089 Good. 381 00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,842 The world is at a tipping point, Clark. 382 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:16,763 There's far too much bad mojo out there, and my battery is running low. 383 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,267 Either we get the message out and people love one another 384 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,977 and respect one another more, 385 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:24,062 and I whoop Lucifer's ass, 386 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,732 or we don't do that and he'll whoop mine. 387 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:28,650 What? 388 00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,319 Uh, no! Can we do it the first way? 389 00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:34,072 If people don't really want my help anymore, then, you know… 390 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,615 maybe I'll stop giving it. 391 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,410 There's not much use putting out a fire 392 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,579 if the homeowner keeps lighting a match, is there? 393 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:41,997 Jeez. 394 00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:45,292 Okay, um… what's the best way for me to get the message out? 395 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:48,670 Oh, my gosh. 396 00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:52,674 The reporter. Of course! You sent me a reporter, and I fled from her. 397 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,093 And there have been reporters around my house for weeks! 398 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:59,055 If you get stuck, ask your girlfriend for help. She's a doer. 399 00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:03,310 Girlfriend. You said girlfriend. Is that a… decree? 400 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,978 Do you fancy a Starbucks? 401 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:09,691 Oh, remember, for every coffee, one glass of water. Hydration is very important. 402 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,068 Right, well. See you soon. 403 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,570 Or maybe never again. 404 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,869 That's good. 405 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,001 -Clark, are you okay? 406 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,086 You were in the bathroom for four hours. 407 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,297 I kept trying to check on you, but the door was locked. 408 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,799 Oh, really? Well, I met God. 409 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:37,761 -You met God in the bathroom? -Yes. God gave me a Starbucks. 410 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,512 -A Starbucks? -Wanna try it? It's so good. 411 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:40,972 -I do. Can I? -Yes. 412 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,558 Mm! 413 00:19:43,642 --> 00:19:45,435 -Oh my God, that's delicious. -So good, right? 414 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,728 -So good. -Which makes sense. 415 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:50,398 But the main thing God said is I really need to talk to this reporter. 416 00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:51,775 So I have to call her right now. 417 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,276 -I'm messing everything up. -No! 418 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,448 -Hello? -Hi, Judy. It's me, uh, Clark Thompson. 419 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,992 I was wondering if we could do that interview, um… 420 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,077 you know, maybe right now? 421 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,705 I'm sort of in the middle of something. Um, how's tomorrow morning? 422 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,999 Tomorrow morning would be fine for someone else, 423 00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:10,085 at a different time if it wasn't urgent. 424 00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:12,629 'Cause this is such an urgent situation, it just-- 425 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,215 Uh, I can't express enough how urgent the urgency is. 426 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,134 -I'm on a date right now. 427 00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:21,429 Rudely on my cell during it. Um, how's tomorrow morning? 428 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:24,516 Okay, well, tomorrow is great, and I want you to have fun on your date. 429 00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:27,519 Um… I… I definitely have tried, officially. 430 00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:31,064 Um, so, uh, we'll just say I'll text you the deets about tomorrow morning. 431 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,899 And have a fun date. Okay, bye-bye. 432 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,737 I'm so sorry. 433 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:38,905 Who's Clark? 434 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:41,658 I hope it's not competition. 435 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:46,538 I'm so slow. 436 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:49,624 God needs me to go fast, and I'm going so slow. 437 00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:52,794 You came out and immediately called the reporter you were supposed-- 438 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,005 You literally followed instructions immediately. 439 00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,965 -Maybe you're right. -Of course I'm right. 440 00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,052 Now, this is gonna sound kinda weird. 441 00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:02,721 -I doubt it. I mean… -Mm-hmm. 442 00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:05,348 If you line 'em all up together… you know. 443 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:10,562 I've just been thinking about how precious time in this life is. 444 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:13,231 So since I can't do the thing that I'm supposed to do… 445 00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:16,276 You wanna spend some one-on-one time with… 446 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,237 -How did you know that? -Well, you're slow. I'm fast. 447 00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:22,490 And that is when I vowed to never play kickball again. 448 00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:27,203 I have to go. 449 00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:28,538 W-- 450 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:29,956 Was it my lame kickball story? 451 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,250 Actually, Judy, I'm just not feeling it. 452 00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:35,211 -You're stupid and ugly. -What? 453 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,799 You heard me. 454 00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,680 Wow. This is such a beautiful spot. 455 00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:47,640 I know, right? 456 00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:49,017 I'm glad you like it. 457 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:53,063 I just figured, you know, Frisbee Harry Pottered the car, and… I mean… 458 00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:56,649 It's probably one of the few places we can have kind of a chill night, 459 00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:57,817 just the two of us. 460 00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:03,406 Also, I thought we could use a nice place where we won't get murdered by Satan. 461 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,200 -Yeah. -Get in the back, Clark. 462 00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:07,744 -Oh God! What? What's going on? -I know. Let's go! 463 00:22:09,079 --> 00:22:10,955 -I'm here to save your bacon, bud. -Oh. 464 00:22:11,039 --> 00:22:12,374 -What is happening? 465 00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:14,125 -Oh!] Whoa! 466 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:16,544 -Oh, shit! Go, go, go, go! -Satan is happening. 467 00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:18,296 Did you miss me? 468 00:22:22,425 --> 00:22:24,803 -Go! Come on, man! 469 00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:30,475 -Shit. -Why is my car so slow? 470 00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,894 I don't mean to throw anyone under the bus, 471 00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:35,522 but Frisbee was supposed to Harry Potter the car. 472 00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:38,441 Fucking Frisbee! If he would do some work once in a while 473 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,485 instead of doing paperwork about doing work, 474 00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:42,570 -we'd all be in better shape! -Tell me about it. 475 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,660 -Did you talk to the reporter? -She was on a date. 476 00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:51,454 -I'm supposed to talk to her tomorrow. -God's not gonna like that. 477 00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:54,332 -Shit. 478 00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:57,919 Why does Satan even need a gun? 479 00:22:58,002 --> 00:23:01,631 She doesn't. She just loves them. I mean, she should. She invented them. 480 00:23:04,259 --> 00:23:06,594 But even if you get hit, I mean, you're an angel, right? 481 00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:08,972 You're an archangel. You can't-- you can't die. 482 00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:12,725 With a high-level demon like Lucifer and Satan, yes, I can. 483 00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:15,061 -And you definitely can. -But not Clark, right? 484 00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:19,232 Clark's one of the good guys. I mean, he's literally handpicked by God. 485 00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:21,985 I mean, if he gets shot, which you won't get shot, you will not, 486 00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:24,070 but if he did, he'd go to Heaven, right? 487 00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:26,114 I'm not exactly sure, due to the restructuring, 488 00:23:26,197 --> 00:23:28,032 -but it's possible he'd go to Hell. 489 00:23:28,116 --> 00:23:29,451 -Or somewhere else entirely. -Shit. 490 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,538 Why do you drive an old, beat-up Volvo? 491 00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,457 It literally has zero horsepower. 492 00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:39,419 We're never gonna shake her. 493 00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:42,505 -Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh God! 494 00:23:49,804 --> 00:23:51,598 You wrecked my bike, you dick. 495 00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:56,394 Fuck me. 496 00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:04,194 -At least we know we're safe here. 497 00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:07,447 -Chamuel Harry Pottered the house. 498 00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:08,740 I just hope he's okay. 499 00:24:08,823 --> 00:24:11,409 I have a strong feeling that he is okay. 500 00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:15,038 Hey, I thought I drank all the tequila. 501 00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:18,208 Can you replenish tequila now? 502 00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:19,459 -No. -Oh. 503 00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:22,962 No, I asked my dad to get you another bottle when he came by to fix the window. 504 00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:26,466 -That was really sweet of you and of him. -Oh. 505 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,343 He left a note. 506 00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:32,180 "Enjoy the new window. Look forward to pleasuring ourselves in the sauna." 507 00:24:32,263 --> 00:24:33,139 "Love, Pop." 508 00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,600 Always a tough sentence. 509 00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:37,519 -He loves the sauna. -Yeah. 510 00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:40,813 You know, I haven't had a chance to actually tell you, um… 511 00:24:41,439 --> 00:24:44,192 but when I met God today, God actually mentioned you. 512 00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:47,779 I don't… 513 00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:49,781 I'm sure that was… 514 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,492 I can't imagine God mentioning me. 515 00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:56,204 Actually referred to you as my girlfriend. 516 00:24:56,287 --> 00:25:00,917 Which, I um… I wasn't sure if that was something you were interested in or not. 517 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,879 But-- but I'm sort of putting it out there in, kind of, a soft way 518 00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:07,298 of, like, if you're interested in making it official, 519 00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:09,467 that's something we could… but if… also… 520 00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:11,803 -Hmm. Yeah. -You know, whatever. 521 00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:12,929 Okay, well. 522 00:25:14,806 --> 00:25:17,141 Is that something you'd like to make official? 523 00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:20,144 Yes, I would. Yes. If… But did I answer too quickly? 524 00:25:20,228 --> 00:25:22,397 'Cause I-- I can, like, give it a beat. 525 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,568 Uh… but-- but it's not, like, a pressure thing. 526 00:25:26,651 --> 00:25:30,947 It just was something that was brought up today in kind of an unusual situation. 527 00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:32,240 Like, if that's something-- 528 00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:35,201 If you're interested in it, I'm certainly incredibly interested. 529 00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:38,454 -If it's not something-- -I want to make it official too. 530 00:25:40,498 --> 00:25:41,541 That's so cool. 531 00:25:52,552 --> 00:25:54,220 -My God. -Did I do something? 532 00:25:54,762 --> 00:25:56,097 You're doing it again. 533 00:25:57,807 --> 00:26:00,518 Mm! God. You smell just like Marco Chevrolati. 534 00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:02,061 He was my first boyfriend. 535 00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:04,731 He was a terrible kisser, but he had great cologne. 536 00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:15,116 I'm sorry, Leviathan. I-- I would have… 537 00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:19,370 I would have gotten them, it's just that stupid fuck-faced angel got in my way. 538 00:26:19,454 --> 00:26:20,955 I'll do better next time. 539 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,501 The boss isn't gonna like this. 540 00:26:27,378 --> 00:26:28,421 Go. 541 00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:32,967 That's my bathroom. 542 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:37,263 That's my other bathroom.