1
00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:10,386
You're sure this is still
the way you wanna go?
2
00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:12,764
I don't know
that it's really trending anymore.
3
00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:15,892
Well, my dad says it's very big
with the kids on the TikTok.
4
00:00:16,476 --> 00:00:21,355
Okay. Well, nobody knows about social
more than older people, so… cool!
5
00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:22,273
-All right.
-Okay.
6
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,191
So let's, uh…
7
00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:26,402
Let's go three, two, one.
8
00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,865
-Go! Go! Go!
9
00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:32,992
-Go! Go!
10
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,285
-Go! Go!
11
00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,455
-God! God! God!
12
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,706
-God!
13
00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:40,792
-God! God!
14
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,960
-Go! Go!
15
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,587
-Who's next?
16
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,005
-God's next!
17
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:58,559
-Clark…
-God's next!
18
00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:00,061
-…dancing on TikTok.
19
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,313
-Thoughts?
-What?
20
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:04,565
It occurs to me you don't know
21
00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:07,193
why I called this,
the first meeting of the Council of Clark.
22
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:10,822
I'm definitely wondering why
you got us both to stay here so late.
23
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:13,241
And what's the Council of Clark?
24
00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:14,408
Well, it's us.
25
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:17,620
No. I'm sure I wouldn't join
a group called the Council of Clark.
26
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,621
I definitely wouldn't.
27
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,790
Let's not argue
about the name of the council,
28
00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:21,999
which has a kick-ass,
29
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,335
-indelible, memorable name that--
-Oh gosh!
30
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,546
Tom-othy!
31
00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:30,842
Right now, I'm imagining
a very big glass of red wine.
32
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,385
-Mm.
-Give me one compelling reason
33
00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:36,305
why I shouldn't run awayfrom you,
towards a glass of rojo
34
00:01:36,389 --> 00:01:38,558
with a decent price point
and plenty of attitude.
35
00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:39,600
Okay. You wish.
36
00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:43,604
Because I'm seeing
some major red flags here. Think about it.
37
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,565
I mean, he leaves the office
38
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:48,151
for long hours with Amily
doing God knows what.
39
00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:49,777
He's keeping information from us.
40
00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:53,447
What is it specifically that you think
he is withholding from us?
41
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,324
-Isn't it obvious?
-No.
42
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,827
Clark is pathologically honest.
43
00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,663
Remember the time he found
that ten-dollar bill on the ground?
44
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:04,625
Then he spent $7 printing out
little signs to see who'd claim it.
45
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:07,044
Six people claimed it,
and he gave them all $10.
46
00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:10,298
-Finding that $10 bill cost him $67.
-Precisely.
47
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:15,094
But you know, if he found ten
and then spent sev-- and then…
48
00:02:15,595 --> 00:02:17,555
It-- I dispute that number.
49
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,141
I move to disband this Council of Clark.
50
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:25,605
And if it's okay, I'd love to join you
for a reasonably priced glass of ro-yo.
51
00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:27,356
Rojo. But yeah, yeah. Sure, let's go.
52
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,941
-Yeah!
-No, no, no, no. Motion denied.
53
00:02:29,025 --> 00:02:30,985
Um, guys, the council will stand.
54
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,196
No, it's not a thing.
That name, it grates.
55
00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:34,947
-I don't like it. It's not a thing.
-Wait--
56
00:02:35,031 --> 00:02:36,908
We'll stand the test of time.
We're rock solid.
57
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:37,992
-Bye-bye!
-Guys, uh--
58
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,453
Forget about the name,
which is the Council of Clark--
59
00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:43,164
When I say "forget about the name,"
I mean I've already named it.
60
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,708
You don't have to do anything.
There's merch on the way
61
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,127
with that name on it
coming in your sizes each.
62
00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:49,629
Guys, I'm worried about Clark!
63
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:52,006
If he's holding out on us,
we can't help him.
64
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:55,426
Tom, I am pretty sure
Clark wouldn't keep secrets from us,
65
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,136
-especially if it was something bad.
-Mm.
66
00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,506
I am standing outside the home
67
00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:37,260
of Clark Thompson,
known as the man who glows.
68
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:41,264
Who would have thought we would find
a story that continues to grow nationally?
69
00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:46,018
The story of an incredibly
average man turned prophet,
70
00:03:46,102 --> 00:03:50,022
and who is seemingly
splitting popular opinion in half.
71
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:53,985
know things are crazy out there,
but look on the bright side.
72
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,904
You make great guacamole.
You make such great guacamole,
73
00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:58,739
and then you could sell it.
74
00:03:58,823 --> 00:04:01,659
And this one's for free…
You could call it "Holy Guacamole."
75
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,828
That's a good one. I like that.
76
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,414
Um, hey. Do you know, um,
77
00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,666
I was thinking about something…
78
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,959
Janet Jackson?
79
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,670
Like, where has she been
for, what, six, seven, eight years?
80
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:13,587
Me too!
81
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,561
Hey, hey!
82
00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:29,812
Are you here to see Clark too?
83
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:32,523
-Isn't he amazing?
84
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,445
God, you're so tense.
85
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,281
-You gotta relax.
-Sure.
86
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:42,158
This shitty couch.
87
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:44,869
My mom got it for me.
She says, "Comfort is for the weak."
88
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:45,995
Christ.
89
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:49,707
It's just hard to relax
because Satan wants to, I guess, kill me?
90
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,958
Yeah.
91
00:04:51,042 --> 00:04:54,211
-Well, everybody's into you, right?
-Right.
92
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,421
And look at this.
93
00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:59,425
Chip and a dip. It's a snack-tivity.
94
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,802
But I'm willing to share.
95
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:04,263
Thank you.
96
00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:08,100
Oh! Fingers in, fingers out.
97
00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,394
Fingers in, fingers… Maybe.
98
00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:13,147
You got a lot. You like that?
99
00:05:15,775 --> 00:05:17,818
You know what you have to stop doing?
100
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:21,364
You have to stop thinking
that the whole world is about to end.
101
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,076
Satan's here, bitches.
102
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,121
What was that?
103
00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:30,664
-I don't know.
104
00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:35,836
What's so funny, idiot?
105
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,798
I could've told you
you can't get inside his house.
106
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:41,050
-Huh. How?
107
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:44,678
'Cause I used my powers to make it
so you can't open it. That's how.
108
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:47,098
Who do you think you are,
Harry fuckin' Potter?
109
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,850
Oh, this is nothing like Harry Potter.
110
00:05:49,934 --> 00:05:51,644
Honestly, it's very similar
to Harry Potter,
111
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:52,937
but it's purely coincidental.
112
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,772
Oh, Amily, Clark.
113
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:58,442
Uh, this is Satan. Satan, Amily, Clark.
114
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,569
Uh, gimme a sec with these two.
115
00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,072
-No!
116
00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:05,032
-Oh my God!
-Sorry, can't hear you.
117
00:06:05,658 --> 00:06:10,162
Don't trust her. She can't hurt you
while you're inside the threshold.
118
00:06:10,246 --> 00:06:12,039
Okay? You're also safe at your office.
119
00:06:12,123 --> 00:06:14,834
If you stay on the sidewalk
and go directly to and from work
120
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:17,128
on the paths you normally take,
you should be fine.
121
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:20,297
We Harry Pottered your normal routes too,
so as long as you're in travel mode
122
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,258
from place to place, you're fine.
123
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:25,386
-Every time I see you…
-Sorry it gets so technical.
124
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:26,429
I blame Frisbee!
125
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:30,266
Why can't you Harry Potter the world,
and then we're safe everywhere?
126
00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:32,518
Doesn't work like that. Wait for it.
127
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,312
-And I hate your stupid face!
128
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:39,442
Just so you know, I will protect these
two fine people until my dying breath.
129
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,360
I will never leave their side.
130
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:45,823
Sorry, guys, I have to go.
The boss needs me. It's urgent.
131
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,660
Don't do anything she says.
She's evil, and she wants to kill you.
132
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,078
-Wait, wait! You can't go!
-No!
133
00:06:51,162 --> 00:06:52,746
-Not right now!
-You can't… leave us.
134
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,123
-Hi.
135
00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:58,544
I really think we might've
gotten off on the wrong foot.
136
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:03,841
How about, I don't know, maybe I just
come in for a quick glass of white wine
137
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,094
-and we could just talk this through?
-No.
138
00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:09,889
-Why not?
-Because you're Satan,
139
00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,974
and I don't drink carrot juice.
140
00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:13,851
She doesn't like white wine.
141
00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:15,644
God.
142
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,356
You guys, I have to tell you something.
143
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:23,777
I don't think it's fair.
I just feel like I get a bad rap.
144
00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:27,281
I mean, actually, demons as a whole are,
like, maligned but…
145
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:31,160
Look, yes, yes, truth.
146
00:07:31,911 --> 00:07:37,249
There is a battle. There is a struggle
between Lucifer and God
147
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,168
for the Kingdom of Heaven.
148
00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:43,088
But all Lucifer wants to do
is just make everything more fun.
149
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,132
God's boring.
150
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:46,550
I mean…
151
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,553
Things right now are… Ugh!
152
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:52,765
They're going pretty amazing,
and we wouldn't wanna mess that up.
153
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:56,936
I mean, if every year could be 2020!
154
00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:57,978
Sing!
155
00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:06,862
So, what I would love,
we would love, our side would love
156
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,906
is if, Clark, you could
157
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:10,950
maybe help us?
158
00:08:12,243 --> 00:08:13,410
What do you say?
159
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:17,164
I mean, I could really
make it worth your while.
160
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,542
I could give you stuff.
161
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:20,918
Like what?
162
00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:23,546
-Oh, like…
163
00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:28,926
Oh!
164
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:29,927
Ooh!
165
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,554
-Oh, this feels wrong.
166
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,138
Uh-uh-uh!
167
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:34,640
Just because it's wrong
168
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,850
doesn't make it bad.
169
00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:40,229
Bad!
170
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,731
I like her. I like you.
171
00:08:43,274 --> 00:08:45,818
Oh! It's because your foot's over
the threshold. That's why.
172
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,737
-Oh my God.
173
00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,823
What is goin' on?
174
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,575
-You know what?
175
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:53,951
I think I'm just gonna go ahead
176
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,078
-and ask you to leave my porch.
177
00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:57,496
No.
178
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,039
Okay, I banish…
179
00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:00,624
-Oh.
-…thee.
180
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,626
-Banishment.
-I hereby banish thee.
181
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,545
Ooh. Away!
182
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,755
Oh. Know what I think?
183
00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,508
You're not smart enough
184
00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:11,594
to do God's will.
185
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:15,264
-And I think… you know that.
186
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,767
Ooh!
I gotta go join the battle up there.
187
00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:21,687
But I will be back soon to kill you.
188
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:27,192
So fuck you, fuck you,
and fuck your precious lemon tree.
189
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:29,111
Toodles!
190
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,866
The bitch burned down your lemon tree.
191
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:38,329
I don't know how you're so calm.
You seem so calm. My heart is palpitating.
192
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:41,373
My pulse rate is-- it's staggering.
It's staggering.
193
00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:43,459
God, I don't feel anything.
194
00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:46,086
-Well, it would be on this--
-Oh, shit.
195
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,006
-Okay, I'm pickin' something up.
-Good, good, good.
196
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,549
Whew.
197
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:54,178
You know, um… if it would, uh…
be of comfort to you,
198
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,639
I-- I would be willing, you know,
to stay over again.
199
00:09:56,722 --> 00:10:00,225
Oh, that would be cool. I mean, for your--
I was thinking about your safety.
200
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,102
-For safety's sake.
-Thank you.
201
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,064
You smell that?
202
00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:06,815
-Smell what?
203
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,735
Something-- It smells… My God, I think it…
204
00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:12,613
-I think it's coming from you.
-What?
205
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,365
-Holy shit.
-Is something--
206
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,784
You smell exactly like
207
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,244
these chocolate chip cookies
my grandma used to make.
208
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,455
-Really?
209
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:32,424
My friends, Clark Thompson, or…
"the man who glows"…
210
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:33,550
Huh. Yeah.
211
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:38,013
He's trying to shake our faith
by being untruthful.
212
00:10:38,097 --> 00:10:40,099
He's trying to bamboozle us…
213
00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:41,892
-Liar!
-…into following him!
214
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,727
-Yeah! The devil…
215
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:44,978
Are We gonna let that happen?
216
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,064
-No!
-Are we going to let that happen?
217
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,482
-No!
-No, indeed!
218
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,568
Because only those who understand God…
219
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,655
-That's right!
-…can truly know God…
220
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,407
-Right!
-…as we do.
221
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:59,535
-Amen!
-Only the righteous…
222
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,036
-That's right.
-…are right.
223
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,288
-Amen.
-Let me hear you.
224
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,708
Only the righteous are right!
225
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:10,254
Now, God preaches peace,
and I preach the word of God.
226
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,213
Preach on!
227
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:15,259
But if ever there was someone
I was going to punch in the bloody face,
228
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,885
-it would be Clark Thompson!
229
00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:20,681
I would knock that glow right off of him!
230
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:26,770
Wait. Is this safe?
231
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:30,858
Chamuel said that he Harry Pottered
all of the routes, so it should be.
232
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,902
Hey, Clark! Only the righteous are right!
233
00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:36,613
You little shit!
234
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,491
Yeah! Yeah!
235
00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,118
I hope that hurts!
236
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,995
And you spelled "believe" wrong!
237
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,373
Hey! Stop.
238
00:11:46,457 --> 00:11:47,916
-Don't even!
-Sorry!
239
00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:51,170
Come on. You wish!
240
00:11:52,463 --> 00:11:53,922
Won't change my mind, Tom.
241
00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:56,258
I'm not gonna move
your desk closer to Clark's.
242
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,176
Why not?
243
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,971
Because the strategic floor plan
was decided by corporate two months ago,
244
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,806
-and I sent around a dozen emails…
245
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,850
…confirming it with all of you
246
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,226
to maximize productivity.
247
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,479
You're not hearing me.
I don't care about any of that.
248
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:12,316
Clark is keeping key information from me.
He knows stuff he's not saying.
249
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,652
-I don't know anything about that.
-Well, this sucks. I want my desk moved.
250
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:19,031
I'm coming back in here every day
to demand it is moved until it is.
251
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,992
A daily huddle, just you and me?
252
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,243
-No, what?
-I love this.
253
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:26,371
-No, don't do that.
-I've got, like, 12:45 to 1:15 every day.
254
00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:27,790
-A half hour.
-I haven't got time.
255
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,291
-No, no, no.
-I'll soft put this in.
256
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,752
-Just soft.
-No, don't put it in at all. I've left.
257
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,671
-Fridays would have to be later. 7:30.
-God, no!
258
00:12:35,214 --> 00:12:37,466
We can do an hour.
You've got plenty of time.
259
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:45,057
Hi.
260
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,267
-Hey.
-Hi.
261
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:51,730
Hi. I was just wondering, uh, about, uh…
what you mentioned the other day?
262
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:55,192
What? That I think you're nice?
263
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,819
Yes, that. Um…
264
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:59,571
And, you know, there's obviously,
uh, so many different ways
265
00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:02,699
that one could take that, uh… statement.
266
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:07,538
I just really wanted to share
that if the world was about to end,
267
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,457
I think you're nice.
268
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:11,917
Because you are nice.
269
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:16,547
And what comes after that could be
whatever comes after that, you know?
270
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,258
It's okay that I'm so old?
271
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:21,385
Yes.
272
00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:23,804
-Actually, hang on.
-Huh?
273
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,349
You're not, like,
a really handsome, swole 55, are you?
274
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,018
Uh… I'm-- I'm 37.
275
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:31,311
-Yes!
276
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,021
37 is fab!
277
00:13:33,105 --> 00:13:35,190
-Oh, well, good.
-Yeah, that's great.
278
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:36,483
It's good.
279
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:39,152
Um… So, you know…
280
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:43,448
um, I'm still nowhere closer
to solving that incredibly difficult cube.
281
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:46,076
The Pentagonal Dodecahedron Speed Cube.
282
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,953
-That's the one. You know.
-Yeah.
283
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,663
-You're so smart.
-Thank you.
284
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,165
-I really like that.
-No. My thing's more important. I promise.
285
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:55,043
That dick Frisbee
won't let me move my desk.
286
00:13:55,127 --> 00:13:57,796
-Let's keep it classy, Tom.
-I'm on a break, Frisbee!
287
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,591
Something's got to be done.
288
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,719
If I'm going to be of any use to Clark,
I need proximity.
289
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,346
Aw! I'm gonna focus
on the positive there,
290
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,640
which is that you wanting
to be of use to Clark
291
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:11,059
is the least selfish thing
I've ever heard you say, buddy!
292
00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:13,020
Wait. Do you guys smell something?
293
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,062
-Yeah.
-Mm…
294
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,690
-My God. Smells like a vintage sailboat.
295
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,234
-My grandmother's quilt!
-Hot Pockets.
296
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,153
-What smells so good?
-Hi, guys! Hi.
297
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,992
Did you just walk through
a vintage boatyard?
298
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,243
-What?
-Oh, my gosh.
299
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,329
-Hey, it's you.
-Wendy.
300
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,914
-You smell like Heaven, buddy.
-What?
301
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,123
-You guys are wrong.
-My God.
302
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,292
-Pepperoni Hot Pockets. What's going on?
-Amily! Amily!
303
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,086
-Oh my God! What are you doing?
-Amily! Amily! Amily!
304
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:39,838
-Oh my God, all of you.
-No, it's--
305
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,632
What is going on?
You're like feral cats.
306
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,468
No, no, no, no, no.
You tell us what's going on!
307
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,346
We're not privy to the whole picture,
and now you're smelling so good?
308
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:48,305
-Yeah.
-So good.
309
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,141
And I can't be your bodyguard
if you don't let me in.
310
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,685
-The Council of Clark agrees.
-What's the Council of Clark?
311
00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:55,145
-Nothing.
-Not a thing.
312
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:58,023
Okay, look, spill it. What's goin' on?
313
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:01,026
-Well, if you must know, I mean, I…
314
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:04,154
-Some guy threw a brick through my window.
-Crazy guy.
315
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,614
-What?
-On the way in.
316
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:08,700
And, uh, just lately,
I've been feeling a little overwhelmed.
317
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:16,166
-Oh! I love Rush.
318
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:19,336
-Did you play this for me?
-Uh… I'm not sure.
319
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,879
I'm gonna go use the restroom.
320
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,381
Cool with me. Everybody poops.
321
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,383
-No, thank you.
-Thanks for this!
322
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,013
I think it's a flute.
323
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:36,061
Oh!
324
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,194
Oh, come on! What ha--
325
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,029
-What--
-No, Frisbee, get out.
326
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:49,574
-You made the music turn off. Get out!
-I… just wanted to see what the fun was.
327
00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:50,701
All right.
328
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:55,831
Tom?
329
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,457
I need some privacy, please.
330
00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,793
Oh, no, Clark.
It's me. God.
331
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,336
Oh, my gosh.
332
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,921
You're not gonna faint.
333
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,132
Come on out
and let's have a little bit of a chat.
334
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:07,342
We both know you're just playing
Candy Crush in there.
335
00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:08,552
Your pants are still up.
336
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,096
Okay.
337
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:15,225
Hi.
338
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,644
Um…
339
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,440
And fo… for the record, I guess
I always figured you--
340
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,607
you would be a woman.
341
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:26,611
I come in many forms. This one is
your fourth-year nurse, Mrs. Rowbotham.
342
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,738
Oh! I loved her.
343
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:32,117
-Oh! G for God. That's so cool.
344
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,162
Oh, you're funny. I like you.
345
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,580
That's why I picked you, you know.
346
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,374
Because you're sweet and simple
like pecan pie.
347
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,918
Thank yo
. I have a mild nut allergy.
348
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:42,836
No, I know.
349
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,423
-So cool.
-Clark.
350
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:50,761
I called Chamuel back because
we were in a particularly hairy portion
351
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,304
of the battle in Heaven.
352
00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,307
Lucifer and his forces
are attacking me at this very moment
353
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,517
in multiple places and intercosmic planes.
354
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,227
-But aren't you here?
-Yes.
355
00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:01,605
The universe is like a giant baklava.
356
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:06,485
Everything can happen in multiple places
and multiple timescapes.
357
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:09,154
So you're saying that
you're fighting Lucifer in Heaven
358
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,531
at the same time you're talking
to me in this men's room.
359
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,450
Like a baklava.
360
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,078
I'm not sure
I'm getting the baklava reference.
361
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,038
Am I thinking of spanakopita?
362
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:21,291
No, dear. The universe
is nothing like a spanakopita.
363
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:25,378
Now, Clark, I came here
because I need to let you know
364
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,672
that you have to start
getting the message out.
365
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,549
Chamuel told you to do that, right?
366
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,260
Yes, he did. He did.
367
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:35,847
Um, and I'm sorry, I tried a few things,
but they went rather poorly.
368
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:38,016
Someone threw a flashlight at my face.
369
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,101
Hmm. Hmm.
370
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,561
What exactly is the message
I'm supposed to get out there?
371
00:17:41,645 --> 00:17:43,730
Chamuel was a little light on the details.
372
00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:47,067
I need you to let people know
that God is real
373
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,610
and God is good.
374
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:53,073
And everybody, meaning all religions,
are actually quite right about God.
375
00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:56,076
Also, nobody's really wrong.
376
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,954
I'm okay with all flavors,
unless you're full crazy train,
377
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:01,456
or use my name to hurt people.
378
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:05,627
So, you let everyone know that,
and then I want to know what people say.
379
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,088
Great. I-- I can try to do that.
380
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,089
Good.
381
00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,842
The world is at a tipping point, Clark.
382
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:16,763
There's far too much bad mojo out there,
and my battery is running low.
383
00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,267
Either we get the message out
and people love one another
384
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,977
and respect one another more,
385
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:24,062
and I whoop Lucifer's ass,
386
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,732
or we don't do that and he'll whoop mine.
387
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:28,650
What?
388
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,319
Uh, no! Can we do it the first way?
389
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:34,072
If people don't really want my help
anymore, then, you know…
390
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,615
maybe I'll stop giving it.
391
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,410
There's not much use putting out a fire
392
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,579
if the homeowner
keeps lighting a match, is there?
393
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:41,997
Jeez.
394
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:45,292
Okay, um… what's the best way
for me to get the message out?
395
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:48,670
Oh, my gosh.
396
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:52,674
The reporter. Of course! You sent me
a reporter, and I fled from her.
397
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,093
And there have been
reporters around my house for weeks!
398
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:59,055
If you get stuck, ask your girlfriend
for help. She's a doer.
399
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:03,310
Girlfriend. You said girlfriend.
Is that a… decree?
400
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,978
Do you fancy a Starbucks?
401
00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:09,691
Oh, remember, for every coffee, one glass
of water. Hydration is very important.
402
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,068
Right, well. See you soon.
403
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,570
Or maybe never again.
404
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,869
That's good.
405
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,001
-Clark, are you okay?
406
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,086
You were in the bathroom for four hours.
407
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,297
I kept trying to check on you,
but the door was locked.
408
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,799
Oh, really? Well, I met God.
409
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:37,761
-You met God in the bathroom?
-Yes. God gave me a Starbucks.
410
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,512
-A Starbucks?
-Wanna try it? It's so good.
411
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:40,972
-I do. Can I?
-Yes.
412
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,558
Mm!
413
00:19:43,642 --> 00:19:45,435
-Oh my God, that's delicious.
-So good, right?
414
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,728
-So good.
-Which makes sense.
415
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:50,398
But the main thing God said is
I really need to talk to this reporter.
416
00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:51,775
So I have to call her right now.
417
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,276
-I'm messing everything up.
-No!
418
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,448
-Hello?
-Hi, Judy. It's me, uh, Clark Thompson.
419
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,992
I was wondering if we could
do that interview, um…
420
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,077
you know, maybe right now?
421
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,705
I'm sort of in the middle of something.
Um, how's tomorrow morning?
422
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,999
Tomorrow morning would be fine
for someone else,
423
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:10,085
at a different time if it wasn't urgent.
424
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:12,629
'Cause this is such an urgent situation,
it just--
425
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,215
Uh, I can't express
enough how urgent the urgency is.
426
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,134
-I'm on a date right now.
427
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:21,429
Rudely on my cell during it.
Um, how's tomorrow morning?
428
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:24,516
Okay, well, tomorrow is great,
and I want you to have fun on your date.
429
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:27,519
Um… I… I definitely have tried,
officially.
430
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:31,064
Um, so, uh, we'll just say I'll text you
the deets about tomorrow morning.
431
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,899
And have a fun date. Okay, bye-bye.
432
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,737
I'm so sorry.
433
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:38,905
Who's Clark?
434
00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:41,658
I hope it's not competition.
435
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:46,538
I'm so slow.
436
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:49,624
God needs me to go fast,
and I'm going so slow.
437
00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:52,794
You came out and immediately
called the reporter you were supposed--
438
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,005
You literally followed
instructions immediately.
439
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,965
-Maybe you're right.
-Of course I'm right.
440
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,052
Now, this is gonna sound kinda weird.
441
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:02,721
-I doubt it. I mean…
-Mm-hmm.
442
00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:05,348
If you line 'em all up together… you know.
443
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:10,562
I've just been thinking about
how precious time in this life is.
444
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:13,231
So since I can't do
the thing that I'm supposed to do…
445
00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:16,276
You wanna spend some one-on-one time with…
446
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,237
-How did you know that?
-Well, you're slow. I'm fast.
447
00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:22,490
And that is when I vowed
to never play kickball again.
448
00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:27,203
I have to go.
449
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:28,538
W--
450
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:29,956
Was it my lame kickball story?
451
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,250
Actually, Judy, I'm just not feeling it.
452
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:35,211
-You're stupid and ugly.
-What?
453
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,799
You heard me.
454
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,680
Wow.
This is such a beautiful spot.
455
00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:47,640
I know, right?
456
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:49,017
I'm glad you like it.
457
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:53,063
I just figured, you know, Frisbee
Harry Pottered the car, and… I mean…
458
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:56,649
It's probably one of the few places we can
have kind of a chill night,
459
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:57,817
just the two of us.
460
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:03,406
Also, I thought we could use a nice place
where we won't get murdered by Satan.
461
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,200
-Yeah.
-Get in the back, Clark.
462
00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:07,744
-Oh God! What? What's going on?
-I know. Let's go!
463
00:22:09,079 --> 00:22:10,955
-I'm here to save your bacon, bud.
-Oh.
464
00:22:11,039 --> 00:22:12,374
-What is happening?
465
00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:14,125
-Oh!] Whoa!
466
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:16,544
-Oh, shit! Go, go, go, go!
-Satan is happening.
467
00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:18,296
Did you miss me?
468
00:22:22,425 --> 00:22:24,803
-Go! Come on, man!
469
00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:30,475
-Shit.
-Why is my car so slow?
470
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,894
I don't mean
to throw anyone under the bus,
471
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:35,522
but Frisbee was supposed
to Harry Potter the car.
472
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:38,441
Fucking Frisbee!
If he would do some work once in a while
473
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,485
instead of doing paperwork
about doing work,
474
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:42,570
-we'd all be in better shape!
-Tell me about it.
475
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,660
-Did you talk to the reporter?
-She was on a date.
476
00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:51,454
-I'm supposed to talk to her tomorrow.
-God's not gonna like that.
477
00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:54,332
-Shit.
478
00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:57,919
Why does Satan even need a gun?
479
00:22:58,002 --> 00:23:01,631
She doesn't. She just loves them.
I mean, she should. She invented them.
480
00:23:04,259 --> 00:23:06,594
But even if you get hit,
I mean, you're an angel, right?
481
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:08,972
You're an archangel.
You can't-- you can't die.
482
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:12,725
With a high-level demon
like Lucifer and Satan, yes, I can.
483
00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:15,061
-And you definitely can.
-But not Clark, right?
484
00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:19,232
Clark's one of the good guys. I mean,
he's literally handpicked by God.
485
00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:21,985
I mean, if he gets shot,
which you won't get shot, you will not,
486
00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:24,070
but if he did, he'd go to Heaven, right?
487
00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:26,114
I'm not exactly sure,
due to the restructuring,
488
00:23:26,197 --> 00:23:28,032
-but it's possible he'd go to Hell.
489
00:23:28,116 --> 00:23:29,451
-Or somewhere else entirely.
-Shit.
490
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,538
Why do you drive an old, beat-up Volvo?
491
00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,457
It literally has
zero horsepower.
492
00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:39,419
We're never gonna shake her.
493
00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:42,505
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh God!
494
00:23:49,804 --> 00:23:51,598
You wrecked my bike, you dick.
495
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:56,394
Fuck me.
496
00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:04,194
-At least we know we're safe here.
497
00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:07,447
-Chamuel Harry Pottered the house.
498
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:08,740
I just hope he's okay.
499
00:24:08,823 --> 00:24:11,409
I have a strong feeling that he is okay.
500
00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:15,038
Hey, I thought I drank all the tequila.
501
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:18,208
Can you replenish tequila now?
502
00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:19,459
-No.
-Oh.
503
00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:22,962
No, I asked my dad to get you another
bottle when he came by to fix the window.
504
00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:26,466
-That was really sweet of you and of him.
-Oh.
505
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,343
He left a note.
506
00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:32,180
"Enjoy the new window. Look forward
to pleasuring ourselves in the sauna."
507
00:24:32,263 --> 00:24:33,139
"Love, Pop."
508
00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,600
Always a tough sentence.
509
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:37,519
-He loves the sauna.
-Yeah.
510
00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:40,813
You know, I haven't had a chance
to actually tell you, um…
511
00:24:41,439 --> 00:24:44,192
but when I met God today,
God actually mentioned you.
512
00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:47,779
I don't…
513
00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:49,781
I'm sure that was…
514
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,492
I can't imagine God mentioning me.
515
00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:56,204
Actually referred to you as my girlfriend.
516
00:24:56,287 --> 00:25:00,917
Which, I um… I wasn't sure if that was
something you were interested in or not.
517
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,879
But-- but I'm sort of putting it out there
in, kind of, a soft way
518
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:07,298
of, like, if you're interested
in making it official,
519
00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:09,467
that's something we could… but if… also…
520
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:11,803
-Hmm. Yeah.
-You know, whatever.
521
00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:12,929
Okay, well.
522
00:25:14,806 --> 00:25:17,141
Is that something
you'd like to make official?
523
00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:20,144
Yes, I would. Yes. If…
But did I answer too quickly?
524
00:25:20,228 --> 00:25:22,397
'Cause I-- I can, like, give it a beat.
525
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,568
Uh… but-- but it's not,
like, a pressure thing.
526
00:25:26,651 --> 00:25:30,947
It just was something that was brought up
today in kind of an unusual situation.
527
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:32,240
Like, if that's something--
528
00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:35,201
If you're interested in it,
I'm certainly incredibly interested.
529
00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:38,454
-If it's not something--
-I want to make it official too.
530
00:25:40,498 --> 00:25:41,541
That's so cool.
531
00:25:52,552 --> 00:25:54,220
-My God.
-Did I do something?
532
00:25:54,762 --> 00:25:56,097
You're doing it again.
533
00:25:57,807 --> 00:26:00,518
Mm! God.
You smell just like Marco Chevrolati.
534
00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:02,061
He was my first boyfriend.
535
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:04,731
He was a terrible kisser,
but he had great cologne.
536
00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:15,116
I'm sorry, Leviathan. I-- I would have…
537
00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:19,370
I would have gotten them, it's just that
stupid fuck-faced angel got in my way.
538
00:26:19,454 --> 00:26:20,955
I'll do better next time.
539
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,501
The boss isn't gonna like this.
540
00:26:27,378 --> 00:26:28,421
Go.
541
00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:32,967
That's my bathroom.
542
00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:37,263
That's my other bathroom.