1 00:00:31,783 --> 00:00:34,535 Hey. Good morning. 2 00:00:35,328 --> 00:00:37,413 -Good morning. 3 00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,123 Bill Withers, huh? 4 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,167 -Strong choice. 5 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,836 -Yeah, I love the Withers. Rest in peace. 6 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,421 -Yeah. -Yeah. 7 00:00:45,505 --> 00:00:49,092 -Last night was an incredibly fun evening. -Agreed. 8 00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:52,762 Almost made me forget there was a demonic entity that wanted to kill us. 9 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,223 Oh. Yeah, well, I think I can probably take her. 10 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,644 Wow, you're making a real feast. 11 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,229 Yeah. Trying to. 12 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,523 "Wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey!" 13 00:01:04,607 --> 00:01:06,400 What is-- What is that that's happening? 14 00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:10,071 It's just an accent I've been workin' on for a while. 15 00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:13,282 Oh, is that-- What, is it Dutch or… 16 00:01:13,366 --> 00:01:14,826 -Australian! -Australian. 17 00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:15,868 Similar, I think. 18 00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:18,496 I thought it was, like, a high-pitched troll. 19 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:22,542 You know, normally I make just a really weird smoothie for brekkie. 20 00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,877 But today I wanted to try something a little nicer. 21 00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:27,588 Kind of a feast, you know, as a display of love. 22 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,259 Oops. 23 00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:34,303 Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Uh… 24 00:01:34,387 --> 00:01:35,763 Not that, like, love is a bad word 25 00:01:35,847 --> 00:01:38,558 or that feeling love for someone is a bad thing, at all. 26 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:40,059 I just didn't mean to blurt it out. 27 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:42,019 Clark, you can say whatever you want. 28 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,355 Oh, cool. 29 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:48,776 Um… You know, because… I do love you. 30 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,528 And I have for a long time. 31 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,155 So… 32 00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:56,868 -Oh, my eggs must be done. -No, it's my phone. I think. 33 00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:05,793 Uh! 34 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:09,130 It's a… I matched up with somebody on Tinder. 35 00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,551 It dings you when you get a match. 36 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,303 -Oh, Tinder. 37 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:19,307 Oh, my God. This guy says that he drives a 19-wheeler. 38 00:02:19,891 --> 00:02:23,603 -Wow, he's got a whole extra wheel, huh? -I guess! I guess I'll find out. 39 00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:25,605 Or… 40 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:27,481 Or maybe I won't? 41 00:02:28,858 --> 00:02:30,484 That-- Which would be cool. 42 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,528 But either way. Like, whatever you wanna do. 43 00:02:32,612 --> 00:02:36,657 It's obviously a free, um… free country. 44 00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:37,909 You do what you like. 45 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,621 Thank you. It looks beautiful. 46 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:44,081 Oh, I'm glad… glad you like it. 47 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:46,959 I just want to say, for the record, um… 48 00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:51,964 that me saying "love," I'm not expecting you to say anything back. 49 00:02:54,926 --> 00:02:56,010 Clark. 50 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:04,227 Well, I guess I'd really love to be able to throw lightning bolts, 51 00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:05,728 but this is pretty cool too. 52 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,482 Yeah, flower guy. 53 00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:11,776 -Hey, pals! 54 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,446 Oh, shit. 55 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,616 Oh! 56 00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:20,660 Hey, guys! 57 00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:23,412 -No! Not over the threshold. -Thank you. 58 00:03:23,496 --> 00:03:26,457 Well, if you don't walk over that threshold, 59 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:30,544 you won't get any of my famous mortadella hospitality platter. 60 00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:32,088 Mm! 61 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,673 Smells so good. 62 00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,007 Oh, I love mortadella. 63 00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:37,134 Come on, you guys. Let's hang out. 64 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,804 I mean, it's not like I'm a murderer or something. 65 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,139 You literally just tried to murder us last night. 66 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,225 You guys just don't get my humor. 67 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,060 Yet! 68 00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,438 But look. It's been a long couple of days. 69 00:03:50,106 --> 00:03:54,568 Did you know that your friend Chamuel tried to kill me? 70 00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:57,238 Before I grabbed him and put him in a secure location, 71 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,407 where I'll be sure to keep torturing him, 72 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,993 unless you stop with the bullshit, Clarky. 73 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,953 I don't think you're telling the truth. 74 00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,288 -No. -You've been known to lie. 75 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:06,956 -And-- -She's the lord of lies. 76 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,291 -Yes. -It's your title. 77 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:10,626 And what do you mean, I have to stop with the bull, 78 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:11,919 -um… -Shit. 79 00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:13,713 -Thank you. -Listen, God's old. 80 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:17,174 And Lucifer is stone cold whoopin' that ass. 81 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,928 Besides, I'm also in really big trouble for failing to bring you in already. 82 00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:23,931 Well, why would we give two shits if you're in trouble? 83 00:04:24,015 --> 00:04:25,308 Because… 84 00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:31,314 my boss isn't as nice as I am. 85 00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,317 A little glazed pimento loaf? 86 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,068 -Amily, no! -I can smell it. 87 00:04:36,152 --> 00:04:39,030 -It's glazed with tequila. -That's what I thought. Oh God. 88 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,614 -That's gorgeous. -Añejo. 89 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:42,241 It's añejo. 90 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,409 -No. -That's not… You're not… 91 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:44,827 I know what you're doing. 92 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,413 -You're not fighting fair. -No. And what do you mean, your boss? 93 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,665 -Uh… Wha… Who's your boss? -Oh! 94 00:04:49,749 --> 00:04:52,084 That's a really good question. I have two. 95 00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:57,715 Beelzebub. He's, like… He's my immediate superior. 96 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,134 I'm closin' in. 97 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,095 -And then Lucifer is the super boss. -Oh. 98 00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:04,388 -Yeah. -Three names. 99 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:07,683 I thought it was one. Just different names. Like Sue, Susan, Susie. 100 00:05:07,767 --> 00:05:10,144 -That's not exactly how I thought of it. -Oh. 101 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:14,065 But I thought it was three different… Isn't it… Aren't you the same demon? 102 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:18,069 That is racist, Clark. 103 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,279 We are three different demons. 104 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:23,366 Have you read John Wycliffe's classification of demons? 105 00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:25,034 Is there an audiobook? 106 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:27,119 Oh, God. Of course you haven't. 107 00:05:27,203 --> 00:05:29,080 Anyway, it doesn't matter. 108 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,165 I'm not gonna hold that against you. 109 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:34,752 All I'm saying is that if my boss has to come into the picture, 110 00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:37,129 it's gonna get ugly. 111 00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:40,216 He's not gonna bring you an ambrosia salad, now is he? 112 00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:41,675 Oh, it's mini marshmallows. 113 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,761 -Just follow the salad. -No. 114 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,472 And let me wipe your mind clean for you. 115 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:47,890 -Fightin' dirty. -Guys. 116 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:51,102 -Um… we'll politely decline your offer. -Yeah. 117 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,396 -And wish you the best day. -Really? 118 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:56,524 I mean, why? Do you know how much work this took to do this? 119 00:05:56,607 --> 00:06:00,236 I don't understand. What's wrong with my offer? What has God done for you? 120 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,488 She doesn't put out a spread like this! 121 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:03,989 -Tell me! -It's a good spread. 122 00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,075 I'll give you that. It's a great spread. 123 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:11,414 Let me guess. God told you to get the message out, 124 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,290 and then didn't tell you how to do it. 125 00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,918 It's not, you know… Actually, that is not… 126 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:19,380 "Hey, guys, I need you to do this really hard thing for me." 127 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,882 "But I'm not gonna tell you exactly how to do it." 128 00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:24,468 "And I'm not gonna give you any fun food." 129 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:25,428 Am I close? 130 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:31,183 You know, what's really frustrating is I know I'm right and you know I'm right. 131 00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:32,935 But yet, you still won't play ball. 132 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,312 But it's fine, because do you know what I find? 133 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:38,774 -I just think that dummies like you guys… -This is gonna be hot. 134 00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:43,612 See these dogs? You were gonna get all of these. 135 00:06:43,696 --> 00:06:45,448 But now you get nothing! 136 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,826 Because dummies don't get… 137 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:51,412 dogs! 138 00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:54,081 -It's wasteful. -Do you know what I'm gonna do? 139 00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:58,252 I'm gonna go back to the war up there in Heaven. 140 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,172 -And I'm gonna stab an angel. 141 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,590 But not just any angel. 142 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:06,802 The biggest, juiciest angel I can find. 143 00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:10,473 And I hope you feel it, Clark. 144 00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:14,143 -Right in your nutsack. -Oh, let's not get that involved. 145 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:15,728 Bye, best friends. 146 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,818 Oh! 147 00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:30,117 See? All you have to do is press refresh. Poof! 148 00:07:30,201 --> 00:07:33,412 It's like magic. All right. Thank you for calling Arresta. Bye-bye. 149 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,292 -So, what do you think? -Oh, whoa! 150 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,669 -Whoa? -Uh-- Uh, did I just say whoa? 151 00:07:40,753 --> 00:07:42,213 -Yeah. -Uh, of course I did. 152 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,339 Because, uh… 153 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,843 That is a word I say when I am, uh, loving something so much. 154 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,262 Because I love horses. 155 00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:53,516 And, uh you know, when you say "whoa," 156 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:56,936 it's because you've been enjoying a… a horse ride so much, 157 00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:59,355 and everything is just wonderful. 158 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:00,731 Meaning that your hair 159 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:03,192 looks just perfect. 160 00:08:03,943 --> 00:08:04,777 Whoa. 161 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,195 It's not too much, right? 162 00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:09,865 Oh, no, no, of course not. Uh, you know, maybe it's not even enough. 163 00:08:09,949 --> 00:08:10,824 -Hmm. -Oh! 164 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:11,784 -Great! -Yeah. 165 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,911 -I did have it professionally done. -Oh… 166 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,539 But I could always zhuzh it up myself a bit. 167 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:19,375 -Maybe I should give it a bit more height. -Oh, no, it's just… 168 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,087 It's just a perfect amount of height, because there's just, um, 169 00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:24,880 so much height. 170 00:08:24,964 --> 00:08:26,215 I'm so pleased that you like it. 171 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:29,176 It's just, with the journalists coming, I really wanted to look nice today. 172 00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:30,761 -Yes. -In case there's a photo op. 173 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,845 Mm-hmm. 174 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:35,808 Just between you and I, I have been feeling so bad 175 00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,561 about how little I've been doing to help Clark get the message out. 176 00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:42,648 So I just thought that it could help him seem more legit, you know, 177 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,109 if his coworkers looked a little more professional. 178 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,194 Oh, holy shit, Wendy. 179 00:08:47,278 --> 00:08:49,029 Who the hell jacked up your hair? 180 00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:52,491 It's super tall. It's like a skyscraper. How did you even get it in here? 181 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:54,952 Fuck you, Tom. 182 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,246 You fuckin' prick. 183 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,623 How fuckin' dare you have a go at me 'cause of my hair? 184 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,959 Okay, no F-bombs in the off-- 185 00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:03,544 Whoa. 186 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,922 He must like horses, as well. 187 00:09:07,006 --> 00:09:09,675 -You're lying to me, aren't you? -Uh, no, I'm not. 188 00:09:10,301 --> 00:09:11,760 It looks-- it looks great. 189 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:16,432 No, no, get real. "Whoa" means "stop" when you're on a horse. 190 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,976 And in this case, yeah, absolutely, this is too much. 191 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,311 -Stop. -Oh, fuck it all! 192 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:23,188 I wanna write him up. Frisbee, I wanna write him up. 193 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,481 -Write him up? 194 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,400 Tom, Mohsin, let's just do it right now. 195 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:32,740 Only the virtuous can apsire to the heavens. 196 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:38,078 And only God's children can get one of these beauties. 197 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:44,793 Can I help you? 198 00:09:46,045 --> 00:09:48,255 The question is, how can I help you? 199 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,008 I'm sorry, who are you? 200 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,718 I'm Satalinda. 201 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,512 Satalinda? That's an interesting name. 202 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,598 It's Romanian. 203 00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,683 A bear I know. 204 00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:01,727 But I know your name. 205 00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:08,859 I know everything about you, because I intend to make you a star. 206 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,695 Well, I'm already on television 207 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,990 throughout Los Angeles, Orange County, and parts of the Inland Empire. 208 00:10:15,074 --> 00:10:20,079 Hmm. I represent a large streaming service, 209 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:25,125 and we are looking for programming to match our large religious audience. 210 00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,044 You've heard of America's Own Holy Network? 211 00:10:28,379 --> 00:10:31,882 Amer-- Yes, of course. AOHN. Ahone. Aoen. A-ohen. 212 00:10:34,385 --> 00:10:35,928 Look over this contract. 213 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:43,352 I think you'll agree that we are so impressed with your message 214 00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:46,939 "Only the righteous are right," that we are prepared to offer you 215 00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,566 an enormous amount of money to continue your good work. 216 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,152 Oh, yes. That's quite generous. 217 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,779 It's a win-win. 218 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:58,867 We'll get your righteous message out to our enormous audience 219 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:04,415 and you'll finally have the vast platform you deserve. 220 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,626 And get a very big check. 221 00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:10,129 -Oh… -Long story short, 222 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:11,880 we need you. 223 00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,341 And you can use us. 224 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:16,677 However you like. 225 00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:19,596 Ooh… 226 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,016 You deserve a bigger plane than that. 227 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,602 -They fly higher. 228 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,647 Closer to God. 229 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:39,783 Right. 230 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,583 Keep the pen. 231 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,129 -I feel like-- -How many times-- 232 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,590 -What gives you the right-- -This meeting is a farce. 233 00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:55,507 -Guys. 234 00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:57,801 -It's the way I talk. -"I can't get a date on Tinder." 235 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,095 -Guys! -…can't get a second date, it doesn't… 236 00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:01,513 -Guys! -…to be mean to me! 237 00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:02,556 …in my rectum. 238 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:09,188 Um… I need you to get back to work. Also, to lower the temperature in here. 239 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:12,900 So you're asking me not to acknowledge my feelings 240 00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:15,027 or to acknowledge an insult from a coworker? 241 00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:18,447 Sticky question. I'm enjoying this dialogue. Thank you. 242 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,199 Yes, great dialogue. 243 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:24,244 What I am going to do is I am going to ping corporate, 244 00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:27,289 and I am going to elevate the vis on this. 245 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,082 -What's vis? -Visibility. 246 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,001 -Please just say visibility. -Yeah. 247 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:34,254 -Okay. Thanks for sunshining that for me. -What the fuck does sunshining mean? 248 00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:39,426 S-- I heard it in a workshop. It seemed positive at the time. 249 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,261 Net-net, I'm trying to help. 250 00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:44,515 Also, no F-bombs. Please, no F-bombs. I have to give you a flag. 251 00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,767 It's a verbal warning if you do another F-bomb. 252 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,520 If you write me up without writing Tom up, 253 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:53,148 I promise you that I will sunshine my little Kiwi foot 254 00:12:53,232 --> 00:12:54,233 straight up Tom's ass! 255 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,527 Appendage insertion? 256 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,696 I don't know what the big deal is. You're threatening violence? 257 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,241 All I said is her hair is super jacked up. 258 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,787 It's something really positive that I tried to help our friend, Tom. 259 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,539 Okay, look, you're not hearing me. 260 00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,999 I never said you shouldn't try. I said you failed. 261 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,751 -Shut up, Tom! -That came out bad. 262 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:16,129 Okay. Verbal warning and a flag. 263 00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,215 Also, Tom. Not constructive. 264 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,884 We need to build up, not tear down, okay? 265 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,221 I just want to sunshine something 266 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,349 and make sure that we are all on the same page here, 267 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,644 witnessing the same paradigm-shifting thing. 268 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,939 Our friend and our colleague, Clark, is glowing. 269 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:38,735 He is a beacon to God, who I didn't even think existed. 270 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,530 And we are all trapped in the middle of it. 271 00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:45,158 The freaky possibilities of how this could all play out 272 00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,827 are literally endless. 273 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,787 We could be murdered by demons. 274 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:52,708 We could be burned forever by creaturey, underworld people. 275 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:56,587 We could be-- we could be grabbed and we could be flayed, skinned alive. 276 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,422 Poked and prodded by pitchforks. 277 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:02,050 Poked and prodded by pitchforks. Now we're getting somewhere. 278 00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:06,346 My point is, team, we are very likely very much screwed. 279 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:09,892 So in the midst of all the madness, I decided to do something positive 280 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,644 by looking more professional to help Clark seem more legit. 281 00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:16,231 So I put a bit more volume in my hair. I'm sorry that it didn't work out. 282 00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:20,110 It was a devastating result that I will rectify as soon as I can. 283 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:30,746 Hello. 284 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,498 You must be the reporter that we've been expecting. 285 00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,626 -Yep. -I'm Wendy. 286 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,837 Um, for the record, I love your hair. 287 00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:40,297 Thanks. 288 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,216 I'm also feeling really great about it, actually. 289 00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:46,678 Clark, Judy. 290 00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:48,263 Thank you. 291 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:53,185 So we'll do the interview with everyone? 292 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,729 Yeah. I thought so, if that's okay. 293 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,148 These guys have been through all this with me. 294 00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,816 Mind if I record our conversation? 295 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:00,776 Sure. 296 00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,695 So, who was the first person to see Clark glow? 297 00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:05,489 -I-- -Amily saw him first. 298 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,825 Which is something she could have told you herself. Sorry. 299 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,079 I might be a bit nervous, I, uh… I just get a little… 300 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,706 Whenever I'm being recorded, I worry I might say the wrong thing. 301 00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:17,250 -Why, because you're a convict? -No. It was just a misdemeanor. 302 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,503 And you are… 303 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,255 I'm Mohsin. Uh, Mohsin Raza. 304 00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,383 Thank you. I don't know why I told you my full name. 305 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,593 Seems a bit formal. Only my father calls me that. 306 00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:29,179 I don't have a very good relationship with him. Mahmoud Raza. 307 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,224 My brother's name is Muntezir Raza and, uh, my sister is just Peggy. 308 00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:35,644 Because, you know, her name's Margaret, oddly. You can call me Mo if you want. 309 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,105 Feel free to stop talking at literally any moment. 310 00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,606 -Great. Thank you. -Yeah. 311 00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,483 So, Mo… 312 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,527 -I'd prefer if you call me Mohsin. -Okay. 313 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,778 I thought you would. I-- 314 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,530 -You've never, ever said Mo. -Yeah. 315 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:50,659 Some people, including Reverend Throp, have said Clark is performing tricks 316 00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,829 to gin up his popularity and diminish organized religion. 317 00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:55,622 Is this some kind of hit piece? 318 00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:58,250 No, I just like to ask the more uncomfortable questions 319 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,044 at the beginning of the interview so the rest is easier. 320 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,338 All right. Well, we'll see, won't we? 321 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,716 -So… -Mm-hmm. 322 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:09,636 Mohsin, in your opinion, could Clark's glowing be a trick? 323 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,014 It's definitely not a trick. He's done it many times. 324 00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,434 Yeah. And if it was a trick, how would he achieve that, even? 325 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,395 He'd have to have some kind of a… I don't know, magic remote control. 326 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,896 -Where to keep it? -Don't say butt. 327 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,940 -Up your butt? -Oh, yuck! 328 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,568 -Do not go on. -Please don't write that down. 329 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,571 For the record, he glows. We've all seen it. 330 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:28,947 Something we've seen. 331 00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:34,202 And he's a good guy. And I'm trying to be better, you know? 332 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,747 Uh… to follow in his footsteps. 333 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,875 'Cause sometimes I make mistakes. 334 00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:43,712 By the way, Wendy, I'm-- I'm sorry. 335 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,339 That's okay. Thank you. 336 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:48,425 Wow! Uh… 337 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,136 It's nice to be forgiven. Feels good. 338 00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:54,973 Look, it-- it's really important that when you write this article, 339 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,892 you let people know that… 340 00:16:56,975 --> 00:17:01,271 Clark was chosen by D-O-G, God. 341 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,564 He has dyslexia. 342 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,815 Flip it. Flip it. 343 00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:06,276 How do you know that he was chosen? 344 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,905 You know, it's a feeling that we all have. Uh, plus he glows. 345 00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:12,449 And he smells like your favorite thing. 346 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,408 -Mm. He does. -Yeah. 347 00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:16,328 And it changes all the time. It's different for everybody. 348 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:19,623 You do smell kind of like a dry chardonnay to me. 349 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:21,833 Cool. 350 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,631 Oh, hey there. 351 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,092 Is it no pants day? 352 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:33,512 -Who are you? -I'm a friend of Clark's. 353 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,765 -From work. -Oh, you must be Amily! 354 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,560 -And who are you? -I'm Gene. 355 00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:41,978 I'm-- I'm Clark's dad. 356 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,689 -No! -Yeah. I've heard a lot about you. 357 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,775 -Oh! -I mean, uh… 358 00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:49,653 You know, my son has a major, big-time crush on you. 359 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,906 Oh, God. I wish I could just erase what I just said. 360 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,450 -I'll pretend I never heard it. -Good. 361 00:17:55,534 --> 00:17:56,409 Oop… Pow! 362 00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,577 Thank you. 363 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:02,457 Yeah, um, listen. I'm just gonna reschedule with Clark. 364 00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:06,336 I mean, we usually, you know, have a sauna on a Tuesday, 365 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,964 but, you know, you guys, you should hang out. 366 00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,424 You know, have a date. You know, whatever it is. 367 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:12,592 I'm not gonna say what it is 368 00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:16,012 because, you know, I don't wanna, you know, overstep my boundaries of my-- 369 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:20,433 my precious son's new and-- and hopefully very serious relationship. 370 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,019 -So I, uh-- -Please! Please stay. 371 00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:28,108 The truth is I've really been wanting to meet you too. Clark will be along soon. 372 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:31,444 Come on. Let's just hang out. Get to know each other. 373 00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:33,738 Chew each other's fat. Come on! 374 00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,574 I don't bite. 375 00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:38,410 You believe you glow because you're a messenger of God. 376 00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:40,412 Uh… 377 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:44,291 Well, I'm not so sure about the significance of the glowing, per se? 378 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,126 But when God spoke to me in the bathroom-- 379 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,586 -Wait. In the bathroom? -Whoa, whoa… 380 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:50,380 -Shut the front door. -I'm sorry, Clark. God spoke to you? 381 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,592 Sounds like something you should disclose with the Council of Clark. 382 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,427 -The Council of Clark? -No. 383 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,637 -It's not a real thing. -God really spoke to you? 384 00:18:57,721 --> 00:18:58,680 Uh, yes. 385 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:02,017 Um… I'm really sorry I didn't get a chance to tell you guys. 386 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:05,478 I feel like you could have found the time, you know, to share this kind of news. 387 00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,814 Maybe over a scone. "Hey, Mohsin. I met God." 388 00:19:07,898 --> 00:19:10,901 -Yeah. You're exactly right as usual. -Thank you. 389 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:14,821 Everybody in the Council of Clark needs to know something of that magnitude. 390 00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,573 -Ew! Yuck! I said Council of Clark! -Oh no! 391 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,367 -Don't write that down. -She said it again. So it's on the record, 392 00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:21,870 I'll just say I am the leader of the Council of Clark. 393 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,580 -Abbreviated CoC… -You are not the leader. 394 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:28,460 And that's not the takeaway there, Tom. Clark, is God nice? 395 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,587 She's very nice. Yeah, which is good news, right? 396 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,048 And I guess, since we're sort of in the spirit… 397 00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,342 -of, uh, sharing, uh, things… -Yeah. Yeah. 398 00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,178 We've also met an archangel named Chamuel. 399 00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:39,638 -Chamuel? -Oh my God. 400 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:42,432 He's a lesser archangel, but still, he's an archangel… 401 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,727 You know, I guess the good news about, uh, Chamuel, as well, 402 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:50,857 is that, uh, he has been trying to help us not get murdered by Satan. 403 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,734 Who we also met. 404 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:56,196 And she is an asshole. 405 00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:58,156 -Whoa. -Whoa? 406 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,159 -I knew you didn't like my hair. -No, no, I meant-- 407 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,079 -Guys. Hey, hey, hey! -I didn't mean it like that. 408 00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,497 -Your hair's… -You did mean it! 409 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:08,416 -I know, I'm well aware! -Guys, guys. This is not the moment. 410 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,419 I know you want lots of details and have lots of questions. 411 00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:16,091 But right now, Clark's main mission is to get this interview done. So let's… 412 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,928 Tom! Stop staring at the back of Clark's head. Come here. 413 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,642 -It's just a lot to take in. -Mm. 414 00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,186 Go ahead. 415 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:31,189 -Ahem. Okay, so here we go. 416 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:34,567 God is real and God is good. 417 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:37,028 And everybody is actually quite right about God. 418 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:40,740 Meaning Jewish people, or Christians, or Hindus, or Muslims, 419 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:44,369 or the other organized religions, or even the disorganized ones. 420 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,246 Or people that are just spiritual. 421 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:49,541 As long as you lead with love and you do no harm, 422 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,626 you're perfectly right about God. 423 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,170 I think God wants there to be a lot less fighting 424 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:56,464 between people about their religions. 425 00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:59,301 God wants everyone to love each other and to respect each other. 426 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,222 I have so many follow-up questions, but… 427 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,683 Clark, can you glow for me now? 428 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,600 Oh shit. 429 00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,063 Just asking, Clark's Dad, but… 430 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:14,691 Why are you just wearing a towel? 431 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,695 Well, um, you know, when-- when Clark and I pleasure ourselves in the sauna, 432 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,948 um, I never know what to do with my clothes, 433 00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:24,367 so, you know, I just thought I would think outside the box. 434 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,619 So I drove over here with just a towel on. 435 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,123 How lucky is your car seat? 436 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,458 What? 437 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,877 Oh! Oh, jeez. 438 00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:38,298 Lucky car seat. Wow. That's… that's good. 439 00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:42,010 Oh, I wasn't kidding. I wish I was your Hyundai. 440 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,679 How do you know I drive a Hyundai? 441 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:52,937 -Sorry, it doesn't always work right away. -No worries. I have plenty of time. 442 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,940 So just relax, Clark. Take your time. 443 00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:58,735 -There's no pressure. -No, I think up. Up… 444 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,570 Oh. Yeah, actually, it might… 445 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:01,988 -Clark! Get in the game! -Oh! 446 00:22:02,072 --> 00:22:03,907 Everything is resting on you! 447 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,785 This is an apocalypse! Everyone will die! Painfully! 448 00:22:06,868 --> 00:22:09,454 Your relatives! Our relatives! Children! 449 00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:12,665 -Dogs! Cats! Squirrels! Trees! 450 00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:15,001 Rabbits! Baby bunnies! Baby squirrels! 451 00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:17,587 Everything will die! It's on you! 452 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,255 It's now or never! 453 00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:24,594 Thank you all for your help, however weird it may have been. 454 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,229 No! No, no, no, no, no, no! 455 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,774 No! No! I gotta go. 456 00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:41,319 Something terrible is gonna happen to my dad. Judy, sorry, I have to go. 457 00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:43,405 -What about our interview? -We can do it on the way. 458 00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:45,740 With Chamuel gone, you're gonna need an angel on your side. 459 00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:49,411 -I can even drive. -Hey, spoiler alert. Frisbee is an angel. 460 00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:51,121 -No he's not! -I know. 461 00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:53,706 Just got my dream car, Clark. She's a sweet ride. 462 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:56,209 -Is it a midlife crisis car? -Maybe. 463 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,503 No, thank you. I'll take my scooter and meet you there. 464 00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:00,964 Let's suit up, Counsel. 465 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,340 -Stop saying that. -No, you guys. 466 00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,759 This is the only place we know for sure that you're safe. 467 00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:06,678 Stay here. We'll explain later. 468 00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,430 Okay. Good luck. 469 00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:10,265 -Go well. -I love you. 470 00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,602 I'm sure your dad's gonna be fine. 471 00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:19,858 This is your midlife crisis car? 472 00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:22,444 I have wanted a lime-green Gremlin my entire human life. 473 00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:23,987 But I mean, who doesn't, right? 474 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:27,282 I'm not sure it's a totally common dream, and I really need to see my Pop. 475 00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:29,325 Can't you teleport or fly or something? 476 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:34,581 I can teleport between Heaven and Earth but not with this kind of classic luxury. 477 00:23:34,664 --> 00:23:37,750 -Are you wearing driving gloves? -Yeah, with this much vehicle, 478 00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:39,878 you gotta make sure your hands stick to the wheel. 479 00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:42,672 -Please be careful! Watch it! -Oh, oh, oh! 480 00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:47,844 I have a really hard time believing you're an angel. 481 00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,471 Yeah, I get that a lot. 482 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,099 Okay, we're here, kids. 483 00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,776 -How'd you get here so fast? -Cut across backyards like I always do. 484 00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:05,361 Cool driving gloves. 485 00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,864 -Pop, where are ya? -Back here! 486 00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:09,574 Hey, dummies! 487 00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:11,075 Satalinda? 488 00:24:11,159 --> 00:24:12,827 How do you know who she is? 489 00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:14,078 She was my date last night. 490 00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:16,956 We were having a really nice time, and then, out of nowhere, 491 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,000 she said I was stupid and ugly and left. 492 00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:20,543 What have you done with my Pop? 493 00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:23,713 He's in the sauna. Really sweatin' it out. 494 00:24:25,423 --> 00:24:26,257 Bye, Clark. 495 00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:32,555 Pop. Pop, are you okay? Oh, my God. 496 00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:36,017 You know, you're a real asshole! 497 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,228 What do you expect? I invented the asshole. 498 00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:42,398 You dodged that ball. How about this one, bitch? 499 00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:43,900 Do something, Frisbee! 500 00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:51,241 -You're the worst. 501 00:24:51,908 --> 00:24:53,451 Okay, okay… Oh… 502 00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:54,410 Frisbee! 503 00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:56,246 Ah… Okay… 504 00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:58,748 Okay, just go easy. Go easy. Yup, you're goin' up. 505 00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:02,043 You're okay, Pop. Pop, you're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. 506 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:04,879 -Oh, my God. -Go easy with him. Go easy with him. 507 00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:06,756 Okay. Oh, my God, Pop. Pop. 508 00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:10,385 Frisbee, call an ambulance, okay? Oh, Pop. I'm so sorry. 509 00:25:10,468 --> 00:25:12,262 Oh no. 510 00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:13,596 This is all my fault.