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["Lovely Day" by Bill Withers]
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♪ When I wake up in the mornin', love ♪
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♪ And the sunlight hurts my eyes ♪
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♪ And somethin' without warnin', love ♪
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-♪ Bears heavy on my mind… ♪
-Hey. Good morning.
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-Good morning.
-♪ Then I look at you… ♪
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Bill Withers, huh?
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-♪ And the world's… ♪
-Strong choice.
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-♪ All right with me… ♪
-Yeah, I love the Withers. Rest in peace.
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-Yeah.
-Yeah.
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-Last night was an incredibly fun evening.
-Agreed.
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Almost made me forget there was
a demonic entity that wanted to kill us.
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Oh. Yeah, well,
I think I can probably take her.
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-♪ A lovely day ♪
-♪ Lovely day, lovely day… ♪
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Wow, you're making a real feast.
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Yeah. Trying to.
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[with accent] "Wakey-wakey,
eggs and bakey!"
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What is-- What is that that's happening?
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[chuckles] It's just an accent
I've been workin' on for a while.
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Oh, is that-- What, is it Dutch or…
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-Australian!
-Australian.
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Similar, I think.
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I thought it was, like,
a high-pitched troll.
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[with accent] You know, normally I make
just a really weird smoothie for brekkie.
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But today I wanted
to try something a little nicer.
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Kind of a feast, you know,
as a display of love.
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Oops.
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Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Uh…
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Not that, like, love is a bad word
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or that feeling love for someone
is a bad thing, at all.
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I just didn't mean to blurt it out.
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Clark, you can say whatever you want.
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Oh, cool.
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Um… You know, because… I do love you.
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And I have for a long time.
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So…
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[chiming]
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-Oh, my eggs must be done.
-No, it's my phone. I think.
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[clears throat]
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-[clears throat]
-[Clark chuckles]
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Uh! [laughs]
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It's a… I matched up
with somebody on Tinder.
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It dings you when you get a match.
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-[phone chimes]
-Oh, Tinder.
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Oh, my God.
This guy says that he drives a 19-wheeler.
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-Wow, he's got a whole extra wheel, huh?
-I guess! I guess I'll find out.
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Or…
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Or maybe I won't?
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That-- Which would be cool.
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But either way.
Like, whatever you wanna do.
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It's obviously a free, um… free country.
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You do what you like.
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Thank you. It looks beautiful.
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Oh, I'm glad… glad you like it.
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I just want to say, for the record, um…
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that me saying "love," I'm not
expecting you to say anything back.
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Clark.
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[Clark groans]
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Well, I guess I'd really love
to be able to throw lightning bolts,
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but this is pretty cool too.
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Yeah, flower guy.
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-[knock at door]
-[Satan] Hey, pals!
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Oh, shit.
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Oh!
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Hey, guys!
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-No! Not over the threshold.
-Thank you.
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Well, if you don't
walk over that threshold,
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you won't get any of my famous
mortadella hospitality platter.
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Mm!
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Smells so good.
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Oh, I love mortadella.
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Come on, you guys. Let's hang out.
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I mean, it's not like
I'm a murderer or something.
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You literally
just tried to murder us last night.
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You guys just don't get my humor.
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Yet! [giggles]
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But look. It's been a long couple of days.
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Did you know that
your friend Chamuel tried to kill me?
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Before I grabbed him
and put him in a secure location,
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where I'll be sure to keep torturing him,
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unless you stop with the bullshit, Clarky.
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I don't think you're telling the truth.
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-No.
-You've been known to lie.
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-And--
-She's the lord of lies.
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-Yes.
-It's your title.
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And what do you mean,
I have to stop with the bull,
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-um…
-Shit.
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-Thank you.
-Listen, God's old.
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And Lucifer
is stone cold whoopin' that ass.
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Besides, I'm also in really big trouble
for failing to bring you in already.
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Well, why would we give two shits
if you're in trouble?
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[whines] Because…
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my boss isn't as nice as I am.
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A little glazed pimento loaf?
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-Amily, no!
-I can smell it.
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-It's glazed with tequila.
-That's what I thought. Oh God.
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-That's gorgeous.
-Añejo.
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[sighs] It's añejo.
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-No.
-That's not… You're not…
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I know what you're doing.
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-You're not fighting fair.
-No. And what do you mean, your boss?
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-Uh… Wha… Who's your boss?
-Oh!
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That's a really good question. I have two.
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Beelzebub. He's, like…
He's my immediate superior.
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I'm closin' in. [laughs]
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-And then Lucifer is the super boss.
-Oh.
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-[Satah] Yeah.
-Three names.
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I thought it was one. Just different
names. Like Sue, Susan, Susie.
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-That's not exactly how I thought of it.
-Oh.
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But I thought it was three different…
Isn't it… Aren't you the same demon?
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That is racist, Clark.
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We are three different demons.
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Have you read
John Wycliffe's classification of demons?
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Is there an audiobook?
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Oh, God. Of course you haven't.
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Anyway, it doesn't matter.
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I'm not gonna hold that against you.
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All I'm saying is that
if my boss has to come into the picture,
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it's gonna get ugly.
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He's not gonna bring you
an ambrosia salad, now is he?
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Oh, it's mini marshmallows.
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-Just follow the salad.
-[Clark] No.
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And let me wipe your mind clean for you.
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-Fightin' dirty.
-[Satan] Guys.
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-Um… we'll politely decline your offer.
-Yeah.
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-[Clark] And wish you the best day.
-[laughs] Really?
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I mean, why? Do you know
how much work this took to do this?
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I don't understand. What's wrong
with my offer? What has God done for you?
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She doesn't put out a spread like this!
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-Tell me!
-It's a good spread.
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I'll give you that. It's a great spread.
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Let me guess.
God told you to get the message out,
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and then didn't tell you how to do it.
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It's not, you know… Actually, that is not…
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"Hey, guys, I need you
to do this really hard thing for me."
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"But I'm not gonna tell you
exactly how to do it."
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"And I'm not gonna give you any fun food."
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Am I close?
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You know, what's really frustrating is
I know I'm right and you know I'm right.
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But yet, you still won't play ball.
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But it's fine,
because do you know what I find?
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-I just think that dummies like you guys…
-This is gonna be hot.
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See these dogs?
You were gonna get all of these.
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But now you get nothing!
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[growling] Because dummies don't get…
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dogs!
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-It's wasteful.
-[Satan] Do you know what I'm gonna do?
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I'm gonna go back
to the war up there in Heaven.
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-And I'm gonna stab an angel.
-[gasps]
150
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But not just any angel.
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The biggest, juiciest angel I can find.
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And I hope you feel it, Clark.
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-Right in your nutsack.
-Oh, let's not get that involved.
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Bye, best friends.
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[sighs]
156
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Oh!
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See? All you have to
do is press refresh. Poof!
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It's like magic. All right.
Thank you for calling Arresta. Bye-bye.
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[clears throat]
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-So, what do you think?
-Oh, whoa!
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-Whoa?
-Uh-- Uh, did I just say whoa?
162
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-Yeah.
-Uh, of course I did.
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Because, uh…
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That is a word I say
when I am, uh, loving something so much.
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Because I love horses.
166
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And, uh you know, when you say "whoa,"
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it's because you've been enjoying a…
a horse ride so much,
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and everything is just wonderful.
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Meaning that your hair
170
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looks just perfect.
171
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Whoa. [laughs]
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It's not too much, right?
173
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Oh, no, no, of course not.
Uh, you know, maybe it's not even enough.
174
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-Hmm.
-Oh!
175
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-Great!
-Yeah.
176
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-I did have it professionally done.
-Oh…
177
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But I could always
zhuzh it up myself a bit.
178
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-Maybe I should give it a bit more height.
-Oh, no, it's just…
179
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It's just a perfect amount of height,
because there's just, um,
180
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so much height.
181
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I'm so pleased that you like it.
182
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It's just, with the journalists coming,
I really wanted to look nice today.
183
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-Yes.
-In case there's a photo op.
184
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Mm-hmm.
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Just between you and I,
I have been feeling so bad
186
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about how little I've been doing
to help Clark get the message out.
187
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So I just thought that it could help him
seem more legit, you know,
188
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if his coworkers looked
a little more professional.
189
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[laughs] Oh, holy shit, Wendy.
190
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Who the hell jacked up your hair?
191
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It's super tall. It's like a skyscraper.
How did you even get it in here?
192
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Fuck you, Tom.
193
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You fuckin' prick.
194
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How fuckin' dare you
have a go at me 'cause of my hair?
195
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Okay, no F-bombs in the off--
196
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:03,544
Whoa.
197
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,922
He must like horses, as well.
198
00:09:07,006 --> 00:09:09,675
-You're lying to me, aren't you?
-Uh, no, I'm not.
199
00:09:10,301 --> 00:09:11,760
It looks-- it looks great.
200
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:16,432
No, no, get real. "Whoa" means "stop"
when you're on a horse.
201
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,976
And in this case, yeah,
absolutely, this is too much.
202
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,311
-Stop.
-Oh, fuck it all!
203
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:23,188
I wanna write him up.
Frisbee, I wanna write him up.
204
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,481
-Write him up?
-[Frisbee sighs]
205
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,400
Tom, Mohsin, let's just do it right now.
206
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:27,776
[groans]
207
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:29,486
[organ music]
208
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:32,740
Only the virtuous
can apsire to the heavens.
209
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:38,078
And only God's children
can get one of these beauties.
210
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,289
[Satan chuckles]
211
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:44,793
Can I help you?
212
00:09:46,045 --> 00:09:48,255
The question is, how can I help you?
213
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,008
I'm sorry, who are you?
214
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,718
I'm Satalinda.
215
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,512
Satalinda? That's an interesting name.
216
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,598
It's Romanian.
217
00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,683
A bear I know. [laughs]
218
00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:01,727
But I know your name.
219
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:08,859
I know everything about you,
because I intend to make you a star.
220
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,695
Well, I'm already on television
221
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,990
throughout Los Angeles, Orange County,
and parts of the Inland Empire.
222
00:10:15,074 --> 00:10:20,079
Hmm. I represent
a large streaming service,
223
00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:25,125
and we are looking for programming
to match our large religious audience.
224
00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,044
You've heard of
America's Own Holy Network?
225
00:10:28,379 --> 00:10:31,882
Amer-- Yes, of course. AOHN.
Ahone. Aoen. A-ohen.
226
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:33,676
[laughs]
227
00:10:34,385 --> 00:10:35,928
Look over this contract.
228
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:43,352
I think you'll agree
that we are so impressed with your message
229
00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:46,939
"Only the righteous are right,"
that we are prepared to offer you
230
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,566
an enormous amount of money
to continue your good work.
231
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,152
Oh, yes. That's quite generous.
232
00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,779
[laughs] It's a win-win.
233
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:58,867
We'll get your righteous message
out to our enormous audience
234
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:04,415
and you'll finally have
the vast platform you deserve.
235
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,626
And get a very big check. [chuckles]
236
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:10,129
-Oh…
-[laughs] Long story short,
237
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we need you.
238
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,341
And you can use us.
239
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:16,677
However you like.
240
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:19,596
[gasps] Ooh…
241
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,016
You deserve a bigger plane than that.
242
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,602
-[chuckles]
-They fly higher.
243
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,647
Closer to God.
244
00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:36,905
[chuckles]
245
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:39,783
Right.
246
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,583
Keep the pen.
247
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,129
-[Tom] I feel like--
-[Mohsin] How many times--
248
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,590
-What gives you the right--
-This meeting is a farce.
249
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:55,507
-[all talking]
-Guys.
250
00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:57,801
-It's the way I talk.
-"I can't get a date on Tinder."
251
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,095
-Guys!
-…can't get a second date, it doesn't…
252
00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:01,513
-Guys!
-…to be mean to me!
253
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:02,556
…in my rectum.
254
00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:09,188
Um… I need you to get back to work.
Also, to lower the temperature in here.
255
00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:12,900
So you're asking me
not to acknowledge my feelings
256
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:15,027
or to acknowledge
an insult from a coworker?
257
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:18,447
Sticky question.
I'm enjoying this dialogue. Thank you.
258
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,199
Yes, great dialogue.
259
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:24,244
What I am going to do
is I am going to ping corporate,
260
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:27,289
and I am going to elevate the vis on this.
261
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,082
-What's vis?
-Visibility.
262
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,001
-Please just say visibility.
-Yeah.
263
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:34,254
-Okay. Thanks for sunshining that for me.
-What the fuck does sunshining mean?
264
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:39,426
S-- I heard it in a workshop.
It seemed positive at the time.
265
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,261
Net-net, I'm trying to help.
266
00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:44,515
Also, no F-bombs. Please, no F-bombs.
I have to give you a flag.
267
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,767
It's a verbal warning
if you do another F-bomb.
268
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,520
If you write me up without writing Tom up,
269
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:53,148
I promise you
that I will sunshine my little Kiwi foot
270
00:12:53,232 --> 00:12:54,233
straight up Tom's ass!
271
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,527
Appendage insertion?
272
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,696
I don't know what the big deal is.
You're threatening violence?
273
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,241
All I said is her hair is super jacked up.
274
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,787
It's something really positive
that I tried to help our friend, Tom.
275
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,539
Okay, look, you're not hearing me.
276
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,999
I never said you shouldn't try.
I said you failed.
277
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,751
-Shut up, Tom!
-That came out bad.
278
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:16,129
Okay. Verbal warning and a flag.
279
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,215
Also, Tom. Not constructive.
280
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,884
We need to build up, not tear down, okay?
281
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,221
I just want to sunshine something
282
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,349
and make sure that
we are all on the same page here,
283
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,644
witnessing the same
paradigm-shifting thing.
284
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,939
Our friend and our colleague,
Clark, is glowing.
285
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:38,735
He is a beacon to God,
who I didn't even think existed.
286
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,530
And we are all
trapped in the middle of it.
287
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:45,158
The freaky possibilities
of how this could all play out
288
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,827
are literally endless.
289
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,787
We could be murdered by demons.
290
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:52,708
We could be burned forever
by creaturey, underworld people.
291
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:56,587
We could be-- we could be grabbed
and we could be flayed, skinned alive.
292
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,422
Poked and prodded by pitchforks.
293
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:02,050
Poked and prodded by pitchforks.
Now we're getting somewhere.
294
00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:06,346
My point is, team,
we are very likely very much screwed.
295
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:09,892
So in the midst of all the madness,
I decided to do something positive
296
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,644
by looking more professional
to help Clark seem more legit.
297
00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:16,231
So I put a bit more volume in my hair.
I'm sorry that it didn't work out.
298
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:20,110
It was a devastating result
that I will rectify as soon as I can.
299
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:30,746
Hello.
300
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,498
You must be the reporter
that we've been expecting.
301
00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,626
-Yep.
-I'm Wendy.
302
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,837
Um, for the record, I love your hair.
303
00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:40,297
Thanks.
304
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,216
I'm also feeling really great about it,
actually.
305
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:46,678
Clark, Judy.
306
00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:48,263
[Clark] Thank you.
307
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:53,185
So we'll do the interview with everyone?
308
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,729
Yeah. I thought so, if that's okay.
309
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,148
These guys have been
through all this with me.
310
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,816
Mind if I record our conversation?
311
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:00,776
Sure.
312
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,695
So, who was the first person
to see Clark glow?
313
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:05,489
-I--
-Amily saw him first.
314
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,825
Which is something she could
have told you herself. Sorry.
315
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,079
I might be a bit nervous, I, uh…
I just get a little…
316
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,706
Whenever I'm being recorded,
I worry I might say the wrong thing.
317
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:17,250
-Why, because you're a convict?
-No. It was just a misdemeanor.
318
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,503
And you are…
319
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,255
I'm Mohsin.
Uh, Mohsin Raza. [chuckles]
320
00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,383
Thank you.
I don't know why I told you my full name.
321
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,593
Seems a bit formal.
Only my father calls me that.
322
00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:29,179
I don't have a very good relationship
with him. Mahmoud Raza.
323
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,224
My brother's name is Muntezir Raza
and, uh, my sister is just Peggy.
324
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:35,644
Because, you know, her name's Margaret,
oddly. You can call me Mo if you want.
325
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,105
Feel free to stop talking
at literally any moment.
326
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,606
-Great. Thank you.
-Yeah.
327
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,483
So, Mo…
328
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,527
-I'd prefer if you call me Mohsin.
-[Judy] Okay.
329
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,778
I thought you would. I--
330
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,530
-You've never, ever said Mo.
-Yeah.
331
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:50,659
Some people, including Reverend Throp,
have said Clark is performing tricks
332
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,829
to gin up his popularity
and diminish organized religion.
333
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:55,622
Is this some kind of hit piece?
334
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:58,250
No, I just like to ask the more
uncomfortable questions
335
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,044
at the beginning of the interview
so the rest is easier.
336
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,338
All right. Well, we'll see, won't we?
337
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,716
-So…
-[Mohsin] Mm-hmm.
338
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:09,636
Mohsin, in your opinion,
could Clark's glowing be a trick?
339
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,014
It's definitely not a trick.
He's done it many times.
340
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,434
Yeah. And if it was a trick,
how would he achieve that, even?
341
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,395
He'd have to have some kind of a…
I don't know, magic remote control.
342
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,896
-Where to keep it?
-Don't say butt.
343
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,940
-Up your butt?
-Oh, yuck!
344
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,568
-Do not go on.
-Please don't write that down.
345
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,571
For the record, he glows.
We've all seen it.
346
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:28,947
Something we've seen.
347
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:34,202
And he's a good guy.
And I'm trying to be better, you know?
348
00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,747
Uh… to follow in his footsteps.
349
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,875
'Cause sometimes I make mistakes.
350
00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:43,712
By the way, Wendy, I'm-- I'm sorry.
351
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,339
That's okay. Thank you.
352
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:48,425
Wow! Uh…
353
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,136
It's nice to be forgiven. Feels good.
354
00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:54,973
Look, it-- it's really important
that when you write this article,
355
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,892
you let people know that…
356
00:16:56,975 --> 00:17:01,271
Clark was chosen by D-O-G, God.
357
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,564
He has dyslexia.
358
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,815
Flip it. Flip it.
359
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:06,276
How do you know that he was chosen?
360
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,905
You know, it's a feeling that we all have.
Uh, plus he glows.
361
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:12,449
And he smells like your favorite thing.
362
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,408
-Mm. He does.
-Yeah.
363
00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:16,328
And it changes all the time.
It's different for everybody.
364
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:19,623
You do smell
kind of like a dry chardonnay to me.
365
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:21,833
Cool.
366
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:23,668
-[car lock chirps]
-[whistling]
367
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,631
[Satan] Oh, hey there.
368
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,092
Is it no pants day?
369
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:33,512
-Who are you?
-I'm a friend of Clark's.
370
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,765
-From work.
-Oh, you must be Amily!
371
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,560
-And who are you?
-I'm Gene.
372
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:41,978
I'm-- I'm Clark's dad.
373
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,689
-No!
-Yeah. I've heard a lot about you.
374
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,775
-Oh!
-I mean, uh…
375
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:49,653
You know, my son has
a major, big-time crush on you.
376
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,906
Oh, God. I wish I could
just erase what I just said.
377
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,450
-I'll pretend I never heard it.
-Good.
378
00:17:55,534 --> 00:17:56,409
Oop… Pow!
379
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,577
Thank you.
380
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:02,457
Yeah, um, listen.
I'm just gonna reschedule with Clark.
381
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:06,336
I mean, we usually, you know,
have a sauna on a Tuesday,
382
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,964
but, you know, you guys,
you should hang out.
383
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,424
You know, have a date.
You know, whatever it is.
384
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:12,592
I'm not gonna say what it is
385
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:16,012
because, you know, I don't wanna,
you know, overstep my boundaries of my--
386
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:20,433
my precious son's new and--
and hopefully very serious relationship.
387
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,019
-So I, uh--
-Please! Please stay.
388
00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:28,108
The truth is I've really been wanting
to meet you too. Clark will be along soon.
389
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:31,444
Come on. Let's just hang out.
Get to know each other.
390
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:33,738
Chew each other's fat.
[chuckles] Come on!
391
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,574
[laughs] I don't bite.
392
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:38,410
You believe you glow
because you're a messenger of God.
393
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:40,412
Uh… [sighs]
394
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:44,291
Well, I'm not so sure about
the significance of the glowing, per se?
395
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,126
But when God spoke to me in the bathroom--
396
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,586
-Wait. In the bathroom?
-Whoa, whoa…
397
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:50,380
-Shut the front door.
-[Tom] I'm sorry, Clark. God spoke to you?
398
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,592
Sounds like something you should
disclose with the Council of Clark.
399
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,427
-The Council of Clark?
-No.
400
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,637
-It's not a real thing.
-God really spoke to you?
401
00:18:57,721 --> 00:18:58,680
Uh, yes.
402
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:02,017
Um… I'm really sorry
I didn't get a chance to tell you guys.
403
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:05,478
I feel like you could have found the time,
you know, to share this kind of news.
404
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,814
Maybe over a scone.
"Hey, Mohsin. I met God."
405
00:19:07,898 --> 00:19:10,901
-Yeah. You're exactly right as usual.
-Thank you.
406
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:14,821
Everybody in the Council of Clark
needs to know something of that magnitude.
407
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,573
-Ew! Yuck! I said Council of Clark!
-Oh no!
408
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,367
-Don't write that down.
-She said it again. So it's on the record,
409
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:21,870
I'll just say
I am the leader of the Council of Clark.
410
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,580
-Abbreviated CoC…
-You are not the leader.
411
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:28,460
And that's not the takeaway there, Tom.
Clark, is God nice?
412
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,587
She's very nice.
Yeah, which is good news, right?
413
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,048
And I guess,
since we're sort of in the spirit…
414
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,342
-of, uh, sharing, uh, things…
-Yeah. Yeah.
415
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,178
We've also met an archangel named Chamuel.
416
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:39,638
-Chamuel?
-[Tom] Oh my God.
417
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:42,432
He's a lesser archangel,
but still, he's an archangel…
418
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,727
You know, I guess the good news
about, uh, Chamuel, as well,
419
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:50,857
is that, uh, he has been trying
to help us not get murdered by Satan.
420
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,734
Who we also met.
421
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:56,196
And she is an asshole.
422
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:58,156
-Whoa.
-Whoa?
423
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,159
-I knew you didn't like my hair.
-No, no, I meant--
424
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,079
-Guys. Hey, hey, hey!
-[Mohsin] I didn't mean it like that.
425
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,497
-Your hair's…
-You did mean it!
426
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:08,416
-I know, I'm well aware!
-Guys, guys. This is not the moment.
427
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,419
I know you want lots of details
and have lots of questions.
428
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:16,091
But right now, Clark's main mission is
to get this interview done. So let's…
429
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,928
Tom! Stop staring
at the back of Clark's head. Come here.
430
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,642
-It's just a lot to take in.
-[Wendy] Mm.
431
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,186
[whispers] Go ahead.
432
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:31,189
-[Amily clears throat]
-[Clark] Ahem. Okay, so here we go.
433
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:34,567
God is real and God is good.
434
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:37,028
And everybody is actually
quite right about God.
435
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:40,740
Meaning Jewish people,
or Christians, or Hindus, or Muslims,
436
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:44,369
or the other organized religions,
or even the disorganized ones.
437
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,246
Or people that are just spiritual.
438
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:49,541
As long as you lead with love
and you do no harm,
439
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,626
you're perfectly right about God.
440
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,170
I think God wants there to be
a lot less fighting
441
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:56,464
between people about their religions.
442
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:59,301
God wants everyone to love each other
and to respect each other.
443
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,222
[Judy] I have so many
follow-up questions, but…
444
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,683
Clark, can you glow for me now?
445
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,600
[whispers] Oh shit.
446
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,145
[blows raspberry]
447
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,063
Just asking, Clark's Dad, but…
448
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:14,691
Why are you just wearing a towel?
449
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,695
Well, um, you know, when-- when Clark
and I pleasure ourselves in the sauna,
450
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,948
um, I never know
what to do with my clothes,
451
00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:24,367
so, you know, I just thought
I would think outside the box.
452
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,619
So I drove over here with just a towel on.
453
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:28,413
[laughs]
454
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,123
How lucky is your car seat?
455
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,458
What?
456
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,877
[laughs] Oh! Oh, jeez.
457
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:38,298
Lucky car seat. Wow. That's… that's good.
458
00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:42,010
Oh, I wasn't kidding. [sighs]
I wish I was your Hyundai.
459
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,679
How do you know I drive a Hyundai?
460
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:52,937
-Sorry, it doesn't always work right away.
-No worries. I have plenty of time.
461
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,940
So just relax, Clark. Take your time.
462
00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:58,735
-There's no pressure.
-No, I think up. Up…
463
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,570
Oh. Yeah, actually, it might…
464
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:01,988
-Clark! Get in the game!
-Oh!
465
00:22:02,072 --> 00:22:03,907
Everything is resting on you!
466
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,785
This is an apocalypse!
Everyone will die! Painfully!
467
00:22:06,868 --> 00:22:09,454
Your relatives! Our relatives! Children!
468
00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:12,665
-Dogs! Cats! Squirrels! Trees!
-[Clark whimpers]
469
00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:15,001
Rabbits! Baby bunnies! Baby squirrels!
470
00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:17,587
Everything will die! It's on you!
471
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,255
It's now or never!
472
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:24,594
Thank you all for your help,
however weird it may have been.
473
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:26,930
[exhales]
474
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,229
No! No, no, no, no, no, no!
475
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,897
-[monitor flatlining]
-[Satan laughing]
476
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,774
No! No! I gotta go.
477
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:41,319
Something terrible is gonna happen
to my dad. Judy, sorry, I have to go.
478
00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:43,405
-What about our interview?
-We can do it on the way.
479
00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:45,740
With Chamuel gone,
you're gonna need an angel on your side.
480
00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:49,411
-I can even drive.
-Hey, spoiler alert. Frisbee is an angel.
481
00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:51,121
-No he's not!
-I know.
482
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:53,706
Just got my dream car, Clark.
She's a sweet ride.
483
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:56,209
-Is it a midlife crisis car?
-Maybe.
484
00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,503
No, thank you.
I'll take my scooter and meet you there.
485
00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:00,964
[Tom] Let's suit up, Counsel.
486
00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,340
-Stop saying that.
-No, you guys.
487
00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,759
This is the only place
we know for sure that you're safe.
488
00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:06,678
Stay here. We'll explain later.
489
00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,430
[Mohsin] Okay. Good luck.
490
00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:10,265
-[Wendy] Go well.
-[Clark] I love you.
491
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,602
I'm sure your dad's gonna be fine.
492
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:19,858
This is your midlife crisis car?
493
00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:22,444
I have wanted a lime-green Gremlin
my entire human life.
494
00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:23,987
But I mean, who doesn't, right?
495
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:27,282
I'm not sure it's a totally common dream,
and I really need to see my Pop.
496
00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:29,325
Can't you teleport or fly or something?
497
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:34,581
I can teleport between Heaven and Earth
but not with this kind of classic luxury.
498
00:23:34,664 --> 00:23:37,750
-[Clark] Are you wearing driving gloves?
-[Frisbee] Yeah, with this much vehicle,
499
00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:39,878
you gotta make sure
your hands stick to the wheel.
500
00:23:39,961 --> 00:23:40,920
[horn blares]
501
00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:42,672
-Please be careful! Watch it!
-Oh, oh, oh!
502
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,174
[tires screeching]
503
00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:47,844
I have a really hard time
believing you're an angel.
504
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,471
Yeah, I get that a lot.
505
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,099
Okay, we're here, kids.
506
00:23:53,183 --> 00:23:54,976
[tires screech]
507
00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,776
-How'd you get here so fast?
-Cut across backyards like I always do.
508
00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:05,361
Cool driving gloves.
509
00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,864
-Pop, where are ya?
-[Satan] Back here!
510
00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:09,574
Hey, dummies!
511
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:11,075
Satalinda?
512
00:24:11,159 --> 00:24:12,827
[Amily] How do you know who she is?
513
00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:14,078
She was my date last night.
514
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:16,956
We were having a really nice time,
and then, out of nowhere,
515
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,000
she said I was stupid and ugly and left.
516
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:20,543
What have you done with my Pop?
517
00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:23,713
He's in the sauna. Really sweatin' it out.
518
00:24:25,423 --> 00:24:26,257
Bye, Clark.
519
00:24:27,926 --> 00:24:29,093
[screams]
520
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:32,555
Pop. Pop, are you okay? Oh, my God.
521
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:33,932
[growls]
522
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:36,017
You know, you're a real asshole!
523
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,228
What do you expect?
I invented the asshole.
524
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:42,398
You dodged that ball.
How about this one, bitch?
525
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:43,900
Do something, Frisbee!
526
00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:51,241
-You're the worst.
-[echoing scream]
527
00:24:51,908 --> 00:24:53,451
Okay, okay… Oh…
528
00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:54,410
Frisbee!
529
00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:56,246
Ah… Okay…
530
00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:58,748
Okay, just go easy. Go easy.
Yup, you're goin' up.
531
00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:02,043
You're okay, Pop. Pop, you're gonna
be okay. You're gonna be okay.
532
00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:04,879
-Oh, my God.
-Go easy with him. Go easy with him.
533
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:06,756
Okay. Oh, my God, Pop. Pop.
534
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:10,385
Frisbee, call an ambulance, okay?
Oh, Pop. I'm so sorry.
535
00:25:10,468 --> 00:25:12,262
Oh no. [panting]
536
00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:13,596
This is all my fault.