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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎嘿，早安

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‎早安

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‎比爾威德斯的歌啊？

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‎選得很好

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‎是啊，我超愛威德斯，願他安息

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‎-對
‎-是啊

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‎-昨晚趣味無窮
‎-我也有同感

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‎差點讓我忘了有惡魔在追殺我們

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‎是啊，我想我應該能應付她

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‎你在煮大餐啊

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‎對啊，努力中，起床吃蛋蛋和培根囉

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‎這是什麼情況？

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‎只是我練習了一陣子的口音

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‎那是荷蘭還是…

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‎-澳洲口音！
‎-澳洲啊

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‎兩者應該差不多吧

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‎我以為是尖聲尖氣的山妖

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‎其實呢，我通常
‎只打一杯詭異的果昔當早餐

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‎但今天我想做更豐盛的

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‎一桌佳餚，用來聊表愛意

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‎糟糕

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‎抱歉，我不是有意這麼說

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‎不是因為愛是負面字眼
‎或愛上某人是一件壞事

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‎我不是故意脫口而出那個字

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‎克拉克，你想說什麼都可以

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‎是嗎，好喔

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‎妳知道，因為

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‎我確實愛妳，而且已經愛很久了

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‎所以…

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‎-一定是我的蛋熟了
‎-不，是我的手機，應該吧

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‎我在交友軟體上跟某人速配成功

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‎速配成功就會傳送通知

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‎交友軟體啊

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‎天啊，這傢伙說他開
‎19輪的半掛式卡車

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‎-所以他多了一個輪子？
‎-可能吧，我來問清楚

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‎或者…

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‎或者還是算了？

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‎那就太好了

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‎但無論如何
‎妳想怎麼做都行，反正這是自由…

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‎自由國家，妳可以隨心所欲

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‎謝謝，看起來真賞心悅目

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‎很高興妳喜歡

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‎我只是想順便說一句

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‎我說“愛”不代表我指望妳必須回應

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‎克拉克

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‎我是很希望我能製造閃電啦

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‎不過這也挺酷的

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‎沒錯，當個栽花男

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‎嘿，朋友們！

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‎真該死

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‎你們好啊

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‎-不！不能踏出門檻
‎-抱歉，謝謝

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‎如果你們不越過門檻

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‎就無緣嘗到我最拿手的
‎摩德代拉香腸開胃拼盤了

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‎香噴噴的呢

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‎我超愛摩德代拉香腸

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‎別客氣嘛，兩位，我們一起聚聚

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‎我又不是什麼殺人狂

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‎妳昨晚真的想殺了我們

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‎你們就是不懂我的幽默

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‎還沒有

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‎聽我說，這兩天很漫長

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‎你們知道你們那個朋友
‎夏彌爾想要殺我嗎？

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‎我已經抓到他，關在安全地點

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‎我會在那裡繼續折磨他
‎除非你停止胡鬧，小克克

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‎我不認為妳說的是實話
‎妳是出了名的愛撒謊…

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‎她是謊話大王

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‎-對
‎-那是妳的頭銜

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‎還有妳是什麼意思，要我停止胡…

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‎-鬧
‎-謝謝

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‎聽著，神是個老傢伙
‎路西法狠狠修理了祂一頓

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‎再說了，沒抓你們回去
‎我已經惹上大麻煩

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‎妳有麻煩關我們屁事？

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‎因為

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‎我老闆可沒我這麼親切

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‎來點酒漬甜椒乳酪麵包吧？

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‎-艾蜜莉，別過去！
‎-我聞得到

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‎-添加了龍舌蘭喔
‎-我也這麼想，老天爺

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‎-太棒了
‎-陳釀

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‎-是陳釀
‎-那不…妳不是…

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‎我知道妳打什麼主意，這是取巧作弊

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‎妳說“老闆”是什麼意思？

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‎誰是妳老闆？

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‎問得好，我有兩個老闆

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‎別西卜，他是我的直屬上司

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‎我快跟他平起平坐了
‎還有路西法是最大的老闆

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‎是喔

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‎-有三個名字耶
‎-我以為是同一個

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‎-只是拼法不同，像蘇、蘇珊、蘇西
‎-我不是這麼想的

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‎但我以為是三個不同…
‎你們不是同一個惡魔嗎？

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‎這是種族歧視，克拉克

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‎我們是三個不同惡魔

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‎你沒讀過約翰威克里夫
‎寫的惡魔分類嗎？

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‎有出有聲書嗎？

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‎天啊，你們當然沒讀過了

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‎反正無所謂啦

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‎我不會因為這樣不爽你們

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‎我的意思是萬一驚動了我老闆出馬

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‎場面會變得很難看

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‎他可不會
‎帶水果沙拉來給你們，對吧？

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‎有迷你棉花糖耶

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‎-跟著沙拉走
‎-不

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‎讓我幫你們擦亮心靈

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‎-妳出爛招
‎-兩位

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‎我們要禮貌地拒絕妳的提議

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‎-祝妳有個美好的一天
‎-真的嗎？

108
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‎為什麼？你們知道
‎這要花多少工夫嗎？

109
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‎我不明白，我的提議哪裡不好？
‎神做了什麼？

110
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‎祂甚至沒擺這桌盛宴

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‎-快告訴我！
‎-宴席很豐盛

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‎這我承認，超澎湃的宴席

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‎讓我猜猜看

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‎神要你傳播訊息

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‎但卻沒告訴你方法

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‎不是那樣…其實並不是…

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‎“嘿，各位
‎我要你們幫我辦一件萬難之事

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‎但我不會告訴你們方法

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‎也不會請你們享用美食”

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‎我猜得對嗎？

121
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‎最令人洩氣的是我知道我說中了
‎你們也很清楚我有道理

122
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‎但是你們還是不肯配合

123
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‎但沒關係，知道我有什麼領悟嗎？

124
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‎我覺得像你們這種笨蛋…

125
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‎那一定很燙手

126
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‎看到這些熱狗了嗎？
‎本來全都要給你們的

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‎但現在你們都沒得吃了！

128
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‎因為笨蛋休想得到…

129
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‎熱狗！

130
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‎-暴殄天物啊
‎-知道我要怎麼做嗎？

131
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‎我要回去天堂的戰場

132
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‎然後捅死一個天使

133
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‎但不是普通的天使

134
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‎而是要找一個最大
‎地位最崇高的天使

135
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‎我希望你感同身受，克拉克

136
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‎-特別是下體部位
‎-別扯到那裡

137
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‎再見了，摯友們

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‎可惡！

139
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‎看吧？你只要按重新整理就行了

140
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‎咻一聲，像變魔術一樣
‎感謝致電艾瑞斯塔公司 ，再見

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‎-你覺得怎麼樣？
‎-哇喔！

142
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‎-哇喔？
‎-我剛才有說“哇喔”嗎？

143
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‎-對
‎-當然了

144
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‎因為…

145
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‎我很喜歡某樣東西時
‎就會發出這種讚嘆聲

146
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‎因為我愛馬

147
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‎當你騎馬騎得很盡興時
‎就會喊“哇喔”

148
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‎一切都很美好

149
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‎意思是妳的髮型

150
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‎看起來很完美

151
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‎“哇喔”

152
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‎不會太浮誇吧？

153
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‎不，當然不會，也許還不夠浮誇呢

154
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‎太好了，我特地去找人做造型

155
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,539
‎但我可以自己再調整一下

156
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:19,375
‎-也許應該再梳高一點
‎-不用，就…

157
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‎這個高度很恰到好處，因為…

158
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‎已經很高了

159
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‎你喜歡就好了

160
00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:29,635
‎因為今天記者要來，我想打扮體面點

161
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‎說不定有拍照機會

162
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‎私下告訴你，我一直覺得很內疚

163
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,561
‎沒能幫上克拉克太多忙

164
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:42,731
‎所以我想這麼做
‎能讓他看起來更有說服力，你懂嗎？

165
00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:45,109
‎如果他的同事打扮更專業

166
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‎見鬼了，溫蒂

167
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‎誰幫妳弄那個鳥窩頭？

168
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‎有夠高，跟摩天大樓一樣
‎妳怎麼走進大門的？

169
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‎去你的，湯姆

170
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‎該死的討厭鬼

171
00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,623
‎你居然他媽的敢嘲笑我的髮型？

172
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‎不准在辦公室說他媽…

173
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‎哇喔

174
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,922
‎他一定也喜歡騎馬

175
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‎-你騙我，對吧？
‎-不，我沒有

176
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‎看起來很棒

177
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‎不，說真的
‎騎馬時說“哇喔”代表“停止”

178
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,976
‎以這個例子來說，真的太浮誇了

179
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‎-停手吧
‎-都去死啦！

180
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‎我要投訴他，飛盤大叔，我要投訴他

181
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‎“投訴他？”

182
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‎湯姆、莫辛，我們來解決吧

183
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‎只有賢者才能追求上天堂

184
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:38,078
‎而且只有神的子女
‎能得到這些漂亮的小東西

185
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‎有什麼需要效勞嗎？

186
00:09:46,045 --> 00:09:48,255
‎問題應該是我能怎麼幫上你？

187
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‎不好意思，妳哪位？

188
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,718
‎我叫撒旦琳達

189
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,512
‎撒旦琳達？真是有趣的名字

190
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,181
‎是羅馬尼亞名字

191
00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:58,891
‎我知道很難理解

192
00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:01,727
‎但我知道你的名字

193
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:08,859
‎我對你瞭若指掌
‎因為我想把你捧成明星

194
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‎我已經在電視上亮相

195
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:15,074
‎洛杉磯、橘郡
‎和部分內陸帝國區都看得到我

196
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:20,079
‎我是一家大型串流平台的代表

197
00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:25,125
‎我們想要製作節目
‎滿足大批信眾的收視需求

198
00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,044
‎你聽過美國神聖電視網嗎？

199
00:10:28,379 --> 00:10:31,882
‎美國…當然聽過，美聖電視網

200
00:10:34,385 --> 00:10:35,344
‎看看這份合約

201
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,596
‎（美國神聖電視網）

202
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:42,101
‎你應該會認同我們對你傳達的訊息

203
00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:45,145
‎非常滿意，“只有義者才是公義”

204
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:49,566
‎所以我們想重金禮聘你
‎繼續在崗位上努力

205
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,152
‎好的，出手真大方

206
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:53,779
‎這是雙贏局面

207
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:58,867
‎我們會把你的正確訊息
‎傳達給廣大的觀眾群

208
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:04,415
‎而你終於能得到
‎應該屬於你的發聲平台

209
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,209
‎而且拿到優渥報酬

210
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,129
‎長話短說

211
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:11,880
‎我們需要你

212
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,258
‎你也可以利用我們

213
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:16,677
‎隨你高興怎麼用

214
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,308
‎你有資格擁有更大的飛機

215
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,602
‎能飛得更高

216
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,439
‎更靠近神

217
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:39,783
‎有道理

218
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:40,868
‎（簽名）

219
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,416
‎筆留著吧

220
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:54,590
‎-我提的任何意見都被無視
‎-這場會議是鬧劇

221
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:55,507
‎各位

222
00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:57,801
‎“因為我在交友網站上約不到人”

223
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,095
‎-各位！
‎-自己約不到對象…

224
00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:01,513
‎-好了！
‎-就對我那麼刻薄！

225
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:02,431
‎…在我的直腸

226
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:09,188
‎我要你們回去上班
‎還有，都冷靜一點

227
00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:12,983
‎所以你是要我不接受自己的感覺

228
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,027
‎還是接受同事的羞辱？

229
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:18,447
‎很難回答，跟妳聊得很開心，謝謝

230
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,199
‎是的，很有建設性的談話

231
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:24,244
‎我要做的是知會公司

232
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:27,289
‎而且我會提高這個議題的“關度”

233
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,082
‎-什麼關度？
‎-關注度

234
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,001
‎-那請你說關注度
‎-對啊

235
00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:34,254
‎-謝謝你點亮我
‎-點亮什麼鬼啦？

236
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:39,426
‎我在工作坊聽到的，感覺很正向

237
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,261
‎總而言之，我只是想幫忙

238
00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:44,515
‎還有，拜託別說髒話
‎我必須再次提醒

239
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,767
‎再噴一次髒話就要給口頭警告了

240
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,520
‎如果你記我違規，卻放過湯姆

241
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:53,148
‎我跟你保證我會用我的奇異腳

242
00:12:53,232 --> 00:12:54,233
‎狠踹湯姆的屁眼！

243
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,527
‎改成“插入下肢”呢？

244
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,696
‎我不知道這有什麼大不了
‎妳威脅用暴力解決嗎？

245
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,241
‎我只是說她的髮型是鳥窩頭

246
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,787
‎我嘗試幫助我們的朋友
‎這是件好事，湯姆

247
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,539
‎聽著，妳沒聽懂我的話

248
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,999
‎我沒說妳不該嘗試，只是說妳失敗了

249
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,751
‎-閉嘴，湯姆
‎-我無意這麼毒舌

250
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:13,836
‎好了

251
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:16,129
‎口頭警告和記一次違規

252
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,215
‎還有湯姆，別幫倒忙

253
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,884
‎我們要有建樹，不要搞破壞，好嗎？

254
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,221
‎我只是想提點一件事

255
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,349
‎確保大家有共識

256
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,644
‎見證相同的典範轉移

257
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,939
‎我們的朋友兼同事克拉克會發光

258
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:38,735
‎他就像神的燈塔
‎我本來都不知道有這種東西呢

259
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:41,530
‎而且我們都牽扯其中

260
00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:45,158
‎這件事後續發展的奇妙可能性

261
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,827
‎可以說無窮無盡

262
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,787
‎我們可能被惡魔殺死

263
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:52,708
‎可能被邪惡的冥界怪物反覆燒成灰

264
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:56,587
‎甚至可能會被抓走，活生生剝皮

265
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,422
‎再用乾草叉又戳又刺

266
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:02,050
‎被乾草叉戳刺，這下有趣了

267
00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:06,346
‎我的重點是，各位組員
‎我們很可能完蛋了

268
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:09,892
‎所以在一團混亂中
‎我決定採取積極行動

269
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,644
‎打扮成專業人士
‎讓克拉克看起來更可信

270
00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:16,231
‎所以我才把頭髮梳澎，抱歉失敗了

271
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:20,110
‎我會盡快收拾這個災難性後果

272
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:30,746
‎妳好

273
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,498
‎妳一定是我們等候大駕光臨的記者

274
00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,626
‎-對
‎-我是溫蒂

275
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,837
‎聲明一下，我喜歡妳的髮型

276
00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:40,297
‎謝謝

277
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,216
‎我個人也非常喜歡

278
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:46,678
‎克拉克，茱蒂

279
00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:48,180
‎謝謝

280
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:53,185
‎所以我們要訪問每個人嗎？

281
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,729
‎對，可以的話我想這麼做

282
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,564
‎這些人陪著我經歷這一切

283
00:14:58,190 --> 00:14:59,816
‎介意我錄音嗎？

284
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:00,776
‎不會

285
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,695
‎所以第一個
‎看到克拉克發光的人是誰？

286
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:05,489
‎-我…
‎-艾蜜莉先看到他

287
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,408
‎她可以自己跟妳說的，抱歉

288
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,786
‎我可能有點緊張，我只是稍微…

289
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:14,706
‎被錄音時，我怕會說錯話

290
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:16,124
‎因為你是罪犯嗎？

291
00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:17,250
‎沒有，只犯過輕罪

292
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,503
‎所以你是…

293
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:24,383
‎我叫莫辛，莫辛拉薩，謝謝
‎不知道我幹嘛報上全名

294
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,593
‎聽起來很拘謹，只有我爸這麼叫我

295
00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:29,179
‎我跟他關係不好，他叫馬哈莫德拉薩

296
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,224
‎我的兄弟叫蒙塔奇爾拉薩
‎姊妹叫佩琪

297
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:35,644
‎因為她的名字是瑪格麗特，很怪
‎總之妳可以叫我老莫就好

298
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,105
‎請隨時準備閉嘴

299
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,606
‎-太好了，謝謝
‎-好的

300
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,483
‎那麼，老莫

301
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,527
‎-妳還是叫我莫辛好了
‎-好

302
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,530
‎-我猜到你會這麼說
‎-你從來不用老莫

303
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:50,659
‎有些人，包括米爾頓索普牧師在內
‎都說克拉克耍騙人把戲

304
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,829
‎為了嘩眾取寵，並打擊組織性宗教

305
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:55,622
‎這是什麼聳動報導嗎？

306
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:59,292
‎不是，我喜歡一開始
‎就丟出讓人不自在的問題

307
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,044
‎剩下的才比較好回答

308
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,046
‎那好吧，我們等著瞧囉

309
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:09,636
‎那麼莫辛，就你看來
‎克拉克發光是騙人把戲嗎？

310
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,014
‎絕對不是騙人把戲，他做過很多次了

311
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,434
‎對啊，如果是騙人把戲
‎他要怎麼辦到？

312
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:19,271
‎他得用什麼神奇遙控器
‎能放在哪裡？

313
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,480
‎-別說…
‎-塞屁股裡嗎？

314
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:21,940
‎很噁耶！

315
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,568
‎-別再說了
‎-拜託別記下來

316
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,612
‎認真說，他會發光，我們都看過

317
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:28,947
‎我們見識過了

318
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:34,286
‎而且他是好人
‎而我想變得更好，妳懂嗎？

319
00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:37,414
‎所以我要追隨他的腳步

320
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,000
‎因為有時候我會犯錯

321
00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:43,211
‎對了，溫蒂，對不起

322
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,339
‎沒關係，謝謝

323
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,136
‎被原諒真好，感覺很棒

324
00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:56,224
‎妳寫這篇報導時，一定要讓大眾知道

325
00:16:56,975 --> 00:17:01,271
‎克拉克被“帝上”欽點

326
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,564
‎他有閱讀障礙

327
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,815
‎倒過來念

328
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:06,276
‎你怎麼知道他是被欽點的？

329
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,571
‎我們大家都有這種感覺
‎外加他會發光

330
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:12,449
‎而且他身上散發你最喜歡東西的氣味

331
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,408
‎沒錯

332
00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:16,328
‎味道隨時變化，每個人聞到的都不同

333
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:19,623
‎你聞起來有點像偏酸的夏多內白酒

334
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:21,833
‎酷

335
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,589
‎噢，你好

336
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,092
‎今天是不穿褲日嗎？

337
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:33,512
‎-妳是誰？
‎-我是克拉克的朋友

338
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,765
‎-公司的
‎-妳一定是艾蜜莉

339
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,560
‎-你又是哪位？
‎-我是金恩

340
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:41,978
‎我是克拉克的爸爸

341
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,689
‎-不會吧
‎-我就是，久仰大名

342
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:46,775
‎妳知道…

343
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:48,860
‎我兒子被妳深深迷住了

344
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,906
‎天啊，真希望能把剛才說的話消除

345
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,826
‎-我會當作沒聽到
‎-很好

346
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,577
‎謝謝

347
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:02,457
‎這樣吧，我要跟克拉克改期

348
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:08,964
‎我們通常周二會一起洗桑拿浴
‎但你們應該聚一聚

349
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:11,424
‎妳知道，去約會或不管做什麼

350
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:14,094
‎我不會做任何界定，因為我不想

351
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:17,806
‎對兒子得來不易
‎而且有望能穩定交往的關係

352
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:20,433
‎過分插手

353
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:21,768
‎-所以我…
‎-拜託！

354
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:23,603
‎請留下來

355
00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:28,108
‎其實我也很想見見你
‎克拉克很快就會來了

356
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:31,444
‎來吧，我們一起消磨時間
‎互相認識一下

357
00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:33,738
‎閒嗑牙，來嘛！

358
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,574
‎我不會咬人

359
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:38,410
‎你認為你會發光是因為你是神的使者

360
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:44,291
‎我不太確定發光本身的意義

361
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:48,086
‎-但神在廁所裡跟我說話時…
‎-等等，在廁所裡？

362
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,380
‎抱歉，克拉克，你說神跟你說話？

363
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:53,592
‎你應該告知克拉克理事會才對

364
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,427
‎-什麼克拉克理事會？
‎-沒事

365
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,637
‎-沒這種東西
‎-神真的跟你說過話？

366
00:18:57,721 --> 00:18:58,680
‎對

367
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:02,017
‎抱歉，我沒機會告訴你們

368
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:05,478
‎我覺得你應該找得到時間分享這件事

369
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,814
‎好比吃下午茶時
‎“嘿，莫辛，我遇見了神”

370
00:19:07,898 --> 00:19:10,901
‎-對啊，你一如往常說得有道理
‎-謝謝

371
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:14,821
‎克拉克理事會的每個成員
‎都必須知道這件大事

372
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,573
‎-好噁，我說克拉克理事會！
‎-不！

373
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,617
‎-別寫進去
‎-她又說了一次

374
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,870
‎鄭重聲明，我是理事會主席

375
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:25,582
‎你才不是主席
‎而且那不是重點，湯姆

376
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,460
‎克拉克，神親切嗎？

377
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,587
‎祂很親切，這是好消息

378
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:35,342
‎我想既然我們都聊開了…

379
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,178
‎我們也見過一個叫夏彌爾的大天使

380
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:39,137
‎夏彌爾？

381
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:42,432
‎他的地位比較低，但一樣是大天使

382
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,727
‎令人慶幸的是，夏彌爾他

383
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:50,857
‎一直試圖幫我們，避開撒旦的追殺

384
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,734
‎我們也見過撒旦了

385
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:56,196
‎她是個混蛋

386
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:58,156
‎-哇喔
‎-哇喔？

387
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,159
‎我知道你不喜歡我的髮型時
‎也發出這種嘆息

388
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,079
‎-你們別吵了！
‎-我不是那個意思

389
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,497
‎妳的髮型很…

390
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,457
‎你們兩位！

391
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:11,419
‎現在不是吵架的時候
‎我知道你們好奇細節，也滿腹疑問

392
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:16,091
‎但現在克拉克的主要任務
‎是完成這次訪問，所以我們…

393
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,928
‎湯姆，別再盯著
‎克拉克的後腦勺了，過來

394
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,642
‎一時間很難消化

395
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,186
‎說吧

396
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,189
‎好的，我要開始了

397
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:34,567
‎神是真實的，神代表良善

398
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:37,028
‎每個人對神的詮釋都很有道理

399
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:40,740
‎包括猶太教徒、基督徒
‎印度教徒或穆斯林

400
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:44,369
‎其他組織化
‎甚至是非組織化的宗教信徒

401
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,246
‎或充滿靈性的人

402
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:49,541
‎只要以愛為出發點，不傷害他人

403
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,626
‎對於神的看法就完全正確

404
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:56,464
‎我想神希望人們減少宗教紛爭

405
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:59,301
‎神希望人類相親相愛與彼此尊重

406
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,222
‎我還有很多追加問題，不過

407
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,683
‎克拉克，你能發光給我看嗎？

408
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,600
‎糟糕

409
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,063
‎克拉克的老爸
‎我只是隨口問問，不過…

410
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:14,691
‎你為什麼只圍了一條浴巾？

411
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,903
‎我跟克拉克一起享受桑拿浴時

412
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:24,367
‎都不知道該怎麼處理衣服
‎所以我才突發奇想

413
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,619
‎只圍著浴巾開車過來

414
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,123
‎你的汽車座椅真幸運啊！

415
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,458
‎什麼？

416
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,877
‎天啊

417
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:38,298
‎幸運的汽車座椅，說得好

418
00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:42,010
‎我不是開玩笑的
‎真希望我是你那輛現代房車

419
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,679
‎妳怎麼知道我開的是現代？

420
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,018
‎抱歉，不是每次都能立刻奏效

421
00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:52,937
‎沒關係，我時間很多

422
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,940
‎放輕鬆，克拉克，慢慢來

423
00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:58,735
‎-不要有壓力
‎-我覺得應該施壓，來點壓力

424
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,570
‎噢，其實他可能需要…

425
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,907
‎克拉克，認真點！一切都靠你了！

426
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,785
‎世界末日來了！
‎大家都會死翹翹！死得很痛苦！

427
00:22:06,868 --> 00:22:12,665
‎你的親戚！我們的親戚！孩童！
‎狗兒！貓咪！松鼠！樹木！

428
00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:15,001
‎兔子！兔寶寶！松鼠寶寶！

429
00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:17,587
‎萬物都會死掉，都是你的錯！

430
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,255
‎不成功便成仁！

431
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:24,844
‎謝謝你們的幫忙，不管方式有多怪

432
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,145
‎不！

433
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:36,898
‎不！

434
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:39,818
‎我得走了，我爸會災難臨頭

435
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:42,445
‎-茱蒂，很抱歉，我得走了
‎-我們的訪問怎麼辦？

436
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:43,363
‎在途中進行吧

437
00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:45,698
‎夏彌爾不在，你需要天使幫忙

438
00:22:45,782 --> 00:22:49,411
‎-我還會開車喔
‎-嘿，爆個雷，飛盤大叔是天使

439
00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:51,121
‎-才怪咧！
‎-我知道

440
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:53,706
‎我的夢想坐騎剛到手，很好開

441
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:56,209
‎-是中年危機車嗎？
‎-也許吧

442
00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,503
‎那心領了，我騎摩托車跟你們會合

443
00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:01,047
‎整裝待發吧，理事會成員

444
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:02,340
‎-別再那麼說了
‎-不

445
00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,759
‎這裡是唯一能確保你們安全的地方

446
00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:06,678
‎待在這裡，我們晚點再解釋

447
00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,430
‎好吧，祝你們好運

448
00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:09,889
‎-萬事順利
‎-我愛你們

449
00:23:13,017 --> 00:23:14,602
‎我相信你爸不會有事的

450
00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:16,479
‎（小精靈X）

451
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:19,858
‎這就是你的中年危機車？

452
00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:23,987
‎我在人間時一直夢想
‎擁有一輛萊姆綠小精靈，誰不想呢？

453
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:27,282
‎我不確定這是一般人的夢想
‎但我真的得去找我爸

454
00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:29,325
‎你不能瞬間移動或用飛的嗎？

455
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:34,581
‎我可以在天地之間瞬間移動
‎但駕駛這輛經典豪華車辦不到

456
00:23:34,664 --> 00:23:36,207
‎-你還戴了駕駛手套？
‎-是啊

457
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:40,462
‎開這麼堅固的一輛車
‎雙手一定要緊握方向盤

458
00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:42,672
‎請小心，看路！

459
00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:47,844
‎我真的很難相信你是天使

460
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,471
‎這句話我常聽到

461
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,099
‎我們到了，孩子們

462
00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,776
‎-妳怎麼這麼快就到了？
‎-跟平常一樣穿過後院

463
00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:05,361
‎很酷的駕駛手套

464
00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,864
‎-老爸，你在哪裡？
‎-在後院！

465
00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:09,574
‎嘿，一群笨蛋！

466
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:11,075
‎撒旦琳達？

467
00:24:11,159 --> 00:24:12,827
‎妳怎麼認識她？

468
00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:14,078
‎我昨晚跟她約會

469
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:16,956
‎我們本來聊得很開心

470
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,000
‎但她突然說我又笨又醜，甩頭就走

471
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:20,543
‎妳把我爸怎麼了？

472
00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:23,713
‎他在桑拿房，滿身大汗

473
00:24:25,423 --> 00:24:26,257
‎再見，克拉克

474
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:31,721
‎老爸，你還好嗎？

475
00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:33,181
‎天啊

476
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:36,017
‎妳真是個大混蛋！

477
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,728
‎有什麼好驚訝？混蛋是我發明的

478
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:42,398
‎妳躲過那顆火球
‎那這個怎麼樣，臭婆娘？

479
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:43,900
‎快想想辦法，飛盤大叔！

480
00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:50,114
‎妳這個大爛人

481
00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:54,410
‎飛盤大叔！

482
00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:58,748
‎好，放輕鬆，慢慢起身

483
00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:02,043
‎你沒事，老爸，你會沒事的

484
00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:04,879
‎-天啊
‎-輕點放下他

485
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:06,756
‎天哪，老爸

486
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:10,385
‎飛盤大叔，快叫救護車
‎老爸，真的很抱歉

487
00:25:10,468 --> 00:25:11,344
‎噢不

488
00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:13,596
‎這都是我的錯

489
00:25:14,597 --> 00:25:15,848
‎全都要怪我

490
00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:54,530
‎字幕翻譯：莊雅婷