1
00:00:33,409 --> 00:00:34,243
‎（比佛利山莊）

2
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,038
‎（日落大道）

3
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,007
‎（伯班克，影視城）

4
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:48,966
‎（好萊塢）

5
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,554
‎NETFLIX 影集

6
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,571
‎謝謝

7
00:01:11,531 --> 00:01:13,199
‎我的忠誠子民們

8
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:16,244
‎今晚不是慶祝之夜

9
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,539
‎今晚是

10
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:20,456
‎審判之夜

11
00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,960
‎吉爾加的高利追尤爾

12
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:28,381
‎你在決鬥中自取其辱

13
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:32,969
‎而且你老是抱怨
‎快把我這個任務總管煩死了

14
00:01:34,554 --> 00:01:37,765
‎身為本族的地精長老

15
00:01:37,849 --> 00:01:39,433
‎我要召集大家投票

16
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,145
‎我們是否要把

17
00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:46,607
‎吉爾加的高利追尤爾
‎永遠逐出吉爾加拉特族？

18
00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:49,735
‎贊成！

19
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,988
‎那就這麼決定了

20
00:01:52,989 --> 00:01:54,282
‎吉爾加的高利追尤爾

21
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,450
‎把劍交給我

22
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,244
‎稍安勿躁

23
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,998
‎身為現任探險任務冠軍

24
00:02:02,582 --> 00:02:04,167
‎少不得我這票

25
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:07,587
‎哥達斯族的葛蘭溫投下的一票

26
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:11,174
‎聽著，這個可憐人必須留下

27
00:02:11,841 --> 00:02:14,719
‎因為他真的無處可去

28
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,429
‎-完全沒有
‎-倒是沒想過這點

29
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,472
‎如果有人反對我的意見

30
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:21,809
‎歡迎來嘗嘗我這把利刃的滋味

31
00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:23,019
‎我不去

32
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:25,980
‎他每週都偷我的零食
‎艾蜜莉，他非走不可

33
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,566
‎史提夫，拜託別再出戲好嗎？

34
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,609
‎別說了

35
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,612
‎在場有誰反對我？

36
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:37,617
‎妳很入戲，對吧，艾蜜莉？
‎剛才只是單純的誤會

37
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:40,578
‎-對，我們沒事
‎-所以我還是能搭便車回家嗎？

38
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,455
‎-當然可以，拜託
‎-謝謝

39
00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,624
‎食人魔！

40
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:46,375
‎準備受死吧！

41
00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:49,629
‎那就開戰吧！

42
00:02:54,926 --> 00:02:57,929
‎-妳很擅長肉搏戰耶
‎-妳好勇猛喔

43
00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,681
‎現在回過頭看倒是真的

44
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,490
‎我通常同時服用止痛藥和類固醇

45
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,951
‎所以不敢擔保自己不脫序

46
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,369
‎-真的嗎？
‎-是啊

47
00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:24,538
‎有時候我心想
‎“我的心臟還能跳太不可思議了”

48
00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:31,045
‎去死吧，維儂！去你的！我留定了

49
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,214
‎嘿，這是角色扮演

50
00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:34,632
‎-不是真的
‎-你還好嗎？

51
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,592
‎-抱歉，什麼？
‎-你看起來心不在焉

52
00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:39,971
‎沒事，我只是反覆思考

53
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:44,141
‎我一定能做點事，幫忙宣揚神的理念

54
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:47,478
‎我毛遂自薦發表TED演講，但被婉拒

55
00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:50,439
‎我們也試過用空中文字
‎但他們拼錯一堆字

56
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,025
‎我可能是那顆老鼠屎

57
00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:54,652
‎可能？

58
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,821
‎-不管發生什麼事…
‎-不，一定是湯姆

59
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,906
‎他老是拼錯字

60
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,784
‎-不管怎麼樣…
‎-顯然是湯姆的錯

61
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,620
‎-對，是湯姆
‎-各位，我認錯

62
00:04:04,704 --> 00:04:05,746
‎好的

63
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:10,126
‎你也是情有可原
‎到外拋頭露面太為難你了

64
00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:13,254
‎畢竟撒旦正在追殺你

65
00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:15,506
‎沒錯，這倒是

66
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:19,510
‎但我覺得應該有個
‎更聰明、勇敢或睿智的…

67
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,930
‎克拉克，目前為止
‎你已經遵照一切指示去做

68
00:04:23,014 --> 00:04:25,725
‎而且的確有一件好事發生
‎神救了你爸

69
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:27,476
‎藉由我這個管道

70
00:04:28,019 --> 00:04:31,272
‎千萬別忘記
‎仔細想想，這件事很不得了

71
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,983
‎我們怎麼可能忘記？你老是掛在嘴邊

72
00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:35,860
‎感覺你們好像忘了

73
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,945
‎說曹操曹操就到

74
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:39,864
‎嘿，老爸，你好嗎？

75
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,198
‎代我問候一下

76
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,534
‎克拉克，你去哪了？

77
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,910
‎我說過啊，我在上班

78
00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:48,998
‎你叫我離開
‎說跟至親一起上廁所很尷尬

79
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:51,459
‎我可以回醫院，你沒事吧？

80
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,544
‎這裡的伙食難吃死了

81
00:04:54,170 --> 00:04:56,297
‎我需要我們最愛的料理療癒身心

82
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,465
‎我媽的私房菜

83
00:04:57,548 --> 00:05:00,509
‎對，完美烤雞搭配手風琴馬鈴薯嗎？

84
00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:01,635
‎沒問題，交給我

85
00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:04,555
‎克拉克，拜託
‎我不會開這個口，要不是…

86
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,057
‎沒關係，我很樂意去做

87
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,892
‎拜託，克拉克
‎我不會開口，要不是…

88
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,018
‎對，我說好啊

89
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,771
‎這樣啊，那太好了，我只是…

90
00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:14,482
‎我以為你會繼續推辭

91
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,650
‎沒有，我說好，一口答應

92
00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,195
‎嗨，金恩，你好

93
00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:22,114
‎-艾蜜莉，是妳嗎？
‎-很高興看到你好多了

94
00:05:22,198 --> 00:05:25,034
‎你做過烤雞給艾蜜莉吃了嗎？

95
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,037
‎烤雞是殺手鐧

96
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,039
‎不，還沒，我還沒做過

97
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:33,667
‎-烤雞是殺手鐧
‎-我今晚會為你準備完美烤雞

98
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,086
‎我等不及了

99
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,295
‎烤雞是殺手鐧

100
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,798
‎你已經說第三次了

101
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:41,550
‎再見，我的寶貝兒子

102
00:05:42,218 --> 00:05:43,344
‎再見，金恩！

103
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,512
‎再見

104
00:05:45,638 --> 00:05:49,308
‎-聽說烤雞了嗎？是殺手鐧喔
‎-從沒聽過

105
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,616
‎門都沒有，湯姆

106
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,909
‎-怎樣？
‎-你老是這樣

107
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,036
‎很怪耶，明明廁所有那麼多間

108
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,163
‎真有趣，我一直在想…

109
00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:14,125
‎我要打住你了，我們不聊天

110
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,002
‎如果我是施洗者湯姆，那你是誰？

111
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:19,964
‎首先，我是穆斯林
‎天啊，我們開始聊了

112
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:24,301
‎好吧，你也說了，穆斯林
‎那跟基督教截然不同吧？

113
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,803
‎不，不盡然

114
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:30,057
‎聽著，我可以告訴你穆斯林信奉神

115
00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:33,144
‎我們相信穆罕默德
‎是他的先知，願他平安

116
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,353
‎不是耶穌嗎？

117
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:37,273
‎不，我們相信耶穌也是先知

118
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:40,651
‎但我們遵循穆罕默德的教訓
‎願他平安，懂了嗎？

119
00:06:41,152 --> 00:06:43,988
‎而且信奉同一個神，不是好幾個神

120
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,157
‎猶太人、穆斯林
‎基督徒，信仰同一個神

121
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:51,495
‎也就是在這間廁所
‎跟克拉克交談的那一個

122
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:52,955
‎是

123
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,708
‎我本來以為世上有數不清的神

124
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:56,876
‎好吧

125
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,794
‎我想我不是那麼有靈性

126
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:02,381
‎但神確實透過我施展神蹟

127
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,050
‎你已經重複五百萬次了

128
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,553
‎我想看看
‎我有沒有心電感應的新能力

129
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,973
‎我用意識傳訊給你，是一個問題

130
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,101
‎-沒收到
‎-可惡

131
00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:17,188
‎我問的是你還上教堂嗎？

132
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,230
‎你是指清真寺

133
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,734
‎清真寺是穆斯林做禮拜的場所

134
00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,361
‎好吧，別再把我當傻瓜

135
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:25,738
‎你到底還去不去？

136
00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:30,242
‎不，我很少去了
‎我大概是所謂的冷淡穆斯林

137
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:34,371
‎我跟很多人一樣
‎隨著年齡增長，開始跟宗教漸行漸遠

138
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:38,959
‎這也許是神找克拉克談話的原因吧

139
00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:42,087
‎祂可能想知道還有多少人堅定信仰

140
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,257
‎好深奧

141
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:52,097
‎我想我無法理解
‎為何神選擇透過我施展神蹟

142
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,057
‎湯姆

143
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:56,852
‎我跟你保證
‎這是我在廁所跟你說的最後一句

144
00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,981
‎我認為神選擇透過你展現神蹟

145
00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:02,525
‎是因為你

146
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,653
‎在那一刻充滿決心

147
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:07,863
‎你很真誠

148
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,534
‎克拉克說所有宗教都是正當的

149
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:15,454
‎所以重點不在於
‎你是施洗聖約翰、施洗者湯姆

150
00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:18,916
‎也無關你信奉哪個宗教或虔不虔誠

151
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:19,833
‎只是…

152
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:24,421
‎那一刻你展現了善行，因此受到神佑

153
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,425
‎好了，現在請你滾吧

154
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,677
‎好，沒問題

155
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:34,890
‎嘿，你有用廁所嗎？
‎你說你一天上很多次

156
00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:36,350
‎沒有

157
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:39,520
‎我用樓下的，我很注重隱私

158
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:43,399
‎-你好，傑克
‎-搞什麼啊，湯姆

159
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,443
‎-妳好
‎-嘿

160
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,574
‎今天喝咖啡？
‎我以為妳不喜歡這一味

161
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:55,494
‎對，我就只是想嘗看看

162
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,914
‎-很嗆嗎？
‎-咖啡味好重

163
00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:01,125
‎是啊，對了

164
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,169
‎我只是想說我覺得妳很體貼

165
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,047
‎決定幫忙做烤雞給克拉克的爸爸吃

166
00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:11,343
‎沒什麼大不了，他一度昏迷不醒

167
00:09:11,427 --> 00:09:14,513
‎他有資格享用神奇的祖母私房烤雞

168
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,017
‎感覺挺了不起的，不是嗎？

169
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:21,270
‎不知道，我還沒嘗過

170
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:24,273
‎我不是說烤雞，雖然聽起來很可口

171
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:29,486
‎我其實想說金恩是妳男朋友的爸爸

172
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:34,325
‎妳幫忙他做家傳私房料理
‎非常有益身心，很棒

173
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:38,078
‎所以妳說過什麼了嗎？

174
00:09:38,162 --> 00:09:39,705
‎特定的一句話？

175
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,624
‎很重要的一句話？

176
00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,918
‎我不知道妳到底指什麼

177
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:48,964
‎是“有傳染性”
‎還是“看起來受到感染”？

178
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,092
‎很搞笑，妳老是這樣

179
00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:55,721
‎只要碰到令妳厭煩的問題
‎就顧左右而言他

180
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,723
‎妳這個怪胎

181
00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:00,934
‎妳才是怪中之怪吧

182
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,562
‎-我是怪中之怪？
‎-妳最怪

183
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:06,774
‎我碰過不少怪胎，但妳是第一把交椅

184
00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,818
‎好吧，那又怎樣？
‎去告我暗地裡是怪胎啊

185
00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:12,112
‎我覺得妳才越來越奇怪了

186
00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:14,406
‎妳今天有很多手勢

187
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:15,407
‎有變化喔

188
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,287
‎-她可以這樣動
‎-機器人關節

189
00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:22,331
‎來個油罐吧

190
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,291
‎我們就是這樣動

191
00:10:24,375 --> 00:10:26,585
‎享用我們的晨間咖啡，她們這樣動

192
00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:30,339
‎演機器人啊，可能需要上點油

193
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:32,424
‎太酷了，對了

194
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:36,553
‎妳還願意的話
‎我想去買烤雞食材了，不用勉強喔

195
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,889
‎不，我當然會跟你一起去

196
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,849
‎我到公司只是來找她坐坐

197
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,572
‎（溫蒂收）

198
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,412
‎我也覺得妳很好

199
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,997
‎我不確定接下來該怎麼做

200
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:07,209
‎應該說就看妳的意思吧

201
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,837
‎還有，我希望我們不會那麼快死掉

202
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,589
‎誠摯的，莫辛拉薩筆

203
00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:18,345
‎（新鮮超市）

204
00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:22,224
‎我覺得你很體貼
‎為你爸做他最愛的菜餚

205
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,143
‎那道料理無懈可擊

206
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,728
‎我聽說是殺手鐧啊

207
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:27,896
‎不需要大蔥

208
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,861
‎也不需要蘋果

209
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:34,862
‎這個要吧？

210
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,864
‎好喔，謝謝

211
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:41,535
‎-綠色蔬菜，接好
‎-謝謝…

212
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,204
‎我已經備足所有材料，只缺雞了

213
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,082
‎好，妳想去雞肉那區嗎？

214
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,167
‎-好啊
‎-酷

215
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,514
‎噢，高級雞肉

216
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:07,394
‎麻煩妳別亂丟生雞肉

217
00:12:07,478 --> 00:12:09,188
‎這我沒辦法保證

218
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,992
‎-有地震
‎-不妙

219
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:22,910
‎上吧

220
00:12:23,494 --> 00:12:25,454
‎快走！

221
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,751
‎出去！快跑！

222
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:32,503
‎-我們走
‎-克拉克！

223
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,588
‎我的天啊！快走！

224
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,895
‎-搞什麼？
‎-慢點

225
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,569
‎你們是實境角色演員？

226
00:12:57,653 --> 00:13:01,281
‎馬里布有個很棒的
‎牛仔實境角色扮演團體

227
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,075
‎很適合你們

228
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:05,077
‎我們不是實境角色演員
‎不管那是什麼

229
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,371
‎好吧，那你們…

230
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:09,540
‎到底是何方神聖？

231
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:13,085
‎我們是末日四騎士，小姑娘

232
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,336
‎騎馬者才對

233
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,547
‎我懂妳，姊妹

234
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:19,716
‎好吧，所以你們代表
‎戰爭、饑荒、瘟疫和死亡

235
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,927
‎挺酷的

236
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,178
‎自我介紹一下吧？

237
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:26,014
‎見到各位有點不尋常

238
00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:27,850
‎-我們是克拉克和艾蜜莉
‎-艾蜜莉

239
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,852
‎閣下想必是是死亡吧？

240
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,104
‎我是瘟疫

241
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:35,315
‎-他是瘟疫，是的，我…
‎-我很抱歉

242
00:13:35,399 --> 00:13:37,067
‎-死亡？
‎-戰爭

243
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,695
‎-抱歉，不好意思
‎-所以你就是…

244
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:41,864
‎死亡

245
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:43,824
‎我是人稱的饑荒

246
00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:46,076
‎-是饑荒
‎-酷喔

247
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:49,872
‎根據刪去法，你是死亡

248
00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,957
‎-對
‎-明白

249
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,126
‎我們的到來早有預言

250
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,379
‎我們的開始預告了一切的終結

251
00:13:58,505 --> 00:13:59,423
‎這什麼鬼話？

252
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,467
‎艾蜜莉，我想他在討論世界末日降臨

253
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:04,636
‎這應該就是你們來這裡的目的吧？

254
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,223
‎而且因為你們闖進超市

255
00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:10,434
‎我猜這件事是現在進行式？

256
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,561
‎你說得一點也沒錯

257
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:14,855
‎將會有一場血腥屠殺

258
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,025
‎-天啊，可惡
‎-這下可好了，該死

259
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,401
‎所以…

260
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,696
‎我想請問你們挺哪一邊？

261
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,240
‎-是神派你們來的還是路西法…
‎-問夠了吧

262
00:14:25,324 --> 00:14:28,327
‎我們得先抓你回去，才能開啟末日

263
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,203
‎所以你想怎麼做？

264
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,457
‎用簡單的方式？

265
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,542
‎還是來硬的？

266
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:40,464
‎好痛

267
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,299
‎快走！好的！

268
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,258
‎吃三明治吧！

269
00:14:43,342 --> 00:14:44,593
‎我得閃了！我的天啊！

270
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:46,053
‎不用找了！

271
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,013
‎我需要一點時間，夥伴們

272
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,182
‎天啊！我的老天！

273
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,851
‎（美國完蛋了）

274
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,937
‎事態真的嚴重了

275
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:58,732
‎如果末日四騎士真的來了
‎而且他們確實已經現身

276
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,818
‎這要嘛代表神在天堂大戰中節節敗退

277
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,738
‎不然就是已經對我們失去耐性

278
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,032
‎看樣子確實是如此，對吧？我只是…

279
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,868
‎-我能幫上更多忙就好了
‎-妳胡說什麼？

280
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,244
‎妳幫太多了

281
00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:14,206
‎我幫不了你爸
‎是湯姆幫了他，我很高興…

282
00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:17,751
‎妳挑戰一位末日騎士，而且贏了

283
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:21,254
‎我只希望
‎除了踢男人的老二外，還能做更多

284
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:23,340
‎妳真窩心

285
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,300
‎我是說

286
00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:29,638
‎如果世界末日真的要來臨
‎我很高興有妳相伴

287
00:15:30,222 --> 00:15:31,056
‎我也是

288
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:32,933
‎意思是你

289
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:36,144
‎-不是說我高興跟自己相伴
‎-跟妳自己在一起

290
00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:37,688
‎我很高興有你在身邊

291
00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:39,523
‎這才是我的意思

292
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,317
‎我不知道，也許這不是世界末日

293
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:44,361
‎有時候好人會獲勝，對吧？

294
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,574
‎我突然有強烈的祈禱慾望

295
00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:53,787
‎你是指真的衝動嗎？好吧，我也一起

296
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,416
‎-親愛的神
‎-噢，老天！

297
00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,501
‎難怪天主教徒這麼暴躁

298
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,503
‎首先，非常感謝祢做的一切

299
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:07,217
‎第二 ，很抱歉我沒能
‎更努力散播祢的旨意

300
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,552
‎對不起！

301
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,930
‎第三 ，末日四騎士已經現身

302
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,890
‎情況看起來很悲慘

303
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,809
‎越來越離奇了

304
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:16,852
‎第四

305
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,105
‎我不知道下一步該怎麼走

306
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:25,652
‎第五，不好意思
‎正常人只會說三點，但我提了五點

307
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:29,031
‎但如果祢能給我們一點暗示

308
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,324
‎我們會感激不盡

309
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:36,204
‎見鬼，我覺得禱告奏效了

310
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,544
‎我對你很失望，兒子

311
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,048
‎媽，關於什麼事？

312
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:48,717
‎關於對全世界撒謊，就是這樣

313
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,428
‎你的謊言導致壞事連連

314
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:56,600
‎超市裡有人裝扮成末日騎士搗亂

315
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,811
‎那些人不是裝的
‎他們是真正的末日騎士

316
00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:01,438
‎情況很嚴重

317
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,649
‎太荒謬了，他們嚇壞所有人

318
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:09,654
‎我朋友凱瑟琳也在店裡
‎她傳了一堆害怕的垃圾表情貼圖給我

319
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:12,866
‎都是敗你之賜，克拉克
‎從小到大我沒有教你說謊

320
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,326
‎是爸把我養大，媽

321
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,119
‎我說你少來了

322
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,622
‎發光的秘訣是什麼？

323
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:22,501
‎怎麼樣？你的屁股
‎塞了遙控器什麼嗎？

324
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,295
‎人們只想得到這個發光原因嗎？

325
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,799
‎還有，我知道你父親身體不好

326
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,218
‎我應該去向他憑弔告別

327
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:35,555
‎其實他奇蹟似地恢復了，媽
‎所以這是好消息

328
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:37,390
‎他生前是個好人、好爸爸

329
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:39,601
‎妳沒認真聽我說，這不是第一次了

330
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:42,604
‎我不管你們父子的死活

331
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:45,190
‎是因為你們向來親密無間

332
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:46,900
‎這是哪位？

333
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,444
‎我嗎？我是艾蜜莉

334
00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:50,779
‎妳好，阿蜜莉

335
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:52,531
‎是艾蜜莉，艾草的艾

336
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,616
‎應該是愛情的愛吧？

337
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,954
‎我不知道，我不是字典
‎克拉克的媽媽，但我知道唸艾蜜莉

338
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:04,292
‎我叫海倫
‎跟特洛伊城該死的海倫同名，幸會

339
00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:06,545
‎謝謝你的靈丹妙藥

340
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:08,880
‎我喜歡她

341
00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:12,634
‎雖然她出現的時機

342
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:16,513
‎正好碰上你的人生
‎被無數謊言與廢物纏繞

343
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,057
‎這絕對不是巧合

344
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,643
‎拜託告訴我你們沒發生婚前性行為

345
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:23,353
‎真是的，媽

346
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,647
‎我知道我不是最稱職的母親

347
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:29,109
‎雖然都沒有人談過母親離去

348
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,402
‎內心有多煎熬

349
00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:34,406
‎但我還是必須盡力給你忠告

350
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:38,660
‎所以我要你停止欺騙美國人民

351
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,204
‎而且“婚前不准嘿咻”

352
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,748
‎-媽
‎-不可能

353
00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:46,293
‎絕對不行，休想

354
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:50,922
‎妳想怎麼罵我壞、說我做錯都可以

355
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,632
‎妳甚至可以否認世界末日

356
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:58,305
‎但我不會任由妳
‎對艾蜜莉說那些狗屁道理

357
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:02,767
‎你這輩子從沒用那樣口氣對我說話

358
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,936
‎我從來沒有理由這麼做

359
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:07,564
‎但我不允許妳這麼說艾蜜莉

360
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,941
‎她是我們當中最好的人
‎我不會容忍妳這麼做

361
00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:12,777
‎謝了，小克克

362
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:13,737
‎“小克克”？

363
00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:16,239
‎他不是瓷娃娃，艾蜜莉

364
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:21,161
‎我要先走了
‎免得有人說了我後悔聽到的話

365
00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:27,250
‎我是認真的，兒子，別再胡說八道了

366
00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:34,507
‎那就是家母，各位

367
00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:39,054
‎快出來，妳在裡面待很久了

368
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,640
‎別守在廁所外面了，湯姆！

369
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,225
‎我不想穿這樣出來

370
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,644
‎我也穿了，這有幫助還是幫倒忙？

371
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,397
‎（克拉克理事會）

372
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,358
‎開什麼玩笑

373
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,692
‎怎麼了？

374
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:57,322
‎溫蒂，穿上克拉克理事會運動衫
‎我們正式成軍了！妳看起來很棒

375
00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:01,034
‎妳能不能別再氣沖沖一直走
‎說句話行嗎？

376
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,161
‎好吧，我就說了

377
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:07,290
‎你不能把克拉克理事會變成縮寫
‎直接印在運動衫上

378
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,792
‎因為讀音和“陽具”一樣

379
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,544
‎各位，這代表克拉克理事會

380
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:15,507
‎身為施洗者湯姆
‎我下令這是神聖的，我們眾人一心

381
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:18,510
‎有個小問題，你沒有替任何人施洗

382
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:20,887
‎你們都在場啊

383
00:20:20,971 --> 00:20:25,433
‎我的一滴眼淚落在金恩身上
‎讓他復活，所以我是施洗者

384
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:28,728
‎為某人施洗不只需要一滴眼淚

385
00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:31,398
‎-至少需要四分之一杯
‎-四分之一杯

386
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,275
‎天啊，我們真有默契，謝謝

387
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,944
‎誰在乎啊？運動衫留著

388
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:39,155
‎衣服已經正式獲得認可
‎每個成員都必須穿

389
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,783
‎我不穿，上面擺明寫著“陽具”，湯姆

390
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:45,328
‎身為自豪的女權主義者
‎我拒絕穿上任何強化父權的服飾

391
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:46,579
‎FTP，去你的父權

392
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:50,041
‎是我瘋了嗎？陽具的拼法裡有“K”

393
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:51,668
‎至少乍看跟陽具很像

394
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,586
‎-是啊
‎-這只是字母罷了

395
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,756
‎我跟你們保證，沒人會唸成“陽具”

396
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,092
‎“陽具”

397
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:04,931
‎陽…我得摳公司
‎我得打電話給公司，摳公司 ！

398
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:16,818
‎我喜歡

399
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,321
‎雞肉無可挑剔

400
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:22,115
‎皮也一樣，太完美了

401
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,160
‎馬鈴薯也不錯

402
00:21:26,244 --> 00:21:28,580
‎雞肉很完美，但馬鈴薯只是不錯？

403
00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:31,166
‎你知道，我只是說…

404
00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:34,044
‎可以用馬鈴薯嘗試新做法

405
00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:36,212
‎變點花樣，增添趣味

406
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:40,091
‎我們要幫自己說點話
‎我們買食材時，真的碰到

407
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:41,843
‎-沒錯
‎-四個邪惡騎士

408
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:43,678
‎-然後媽出現了
‎-媽？

409
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:45,889
‎她說什麼？

410
00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:48,475
‎所以你直接跳過
‎四個邪惡騎士那段嗎？

411
00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:51,311
‎順道一提，他們預言了末日即將到來

412
00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:55,190
‎但是媽…我想媽媽只是
‎做她平常會做的事

413
00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:56,941
‎-天啊
‎-是啊

414
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,027
‎她對艾蜜莉很不客氣

415
00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:01,446
‎她把我當空氣

416
00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:04,032
‎你說出你的想法了，兒子？

417
00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:05,742
‎知道嗎？沒錯

418
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,786
‎-很好
‎-他真的把她臭罵一頓

419
00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:10,663
‎我很感激

420
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:14,376
‎很感謝你準備這頓美味餐點

421
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:16,795
‎讓我想起我媽

422
00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:18,880
‎太好了

423
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:21,800
‎艾蜜莉，誰能有比他更孝順的兒子？

424
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:23,385
‎應該不可能

425
00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:30,475
‎搞什麼，我都還沒
‎嘗過神奇烤雞呢，開動囉

426
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:33,520
‎天啊

427
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:37,732
‎我的老天，真是…簡直是神作

428
00:22:37,816 --> 00:22:39,234
‎難以置信，雞皮的口感

429
00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,861
‎我怎麼跟你說的？這道是殺手鐧

430
00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:43,154
‎是殺手鐧

431
00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:45,657
‎抱歉，兩位

432
00:22:46,491 --> 00:22:48,284
‎是封鎖的視訊來電

433
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,744
‎接吧

434
00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:52,497
‎可能是瓦斯公司通知要切斷你的瓦斯

435
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,874
‎千萬別接聽被封鎖的號碼
‎封鎖的視訊？

436
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:56,960
‎-接吧
‎-視訊來電無法被封鎖

437
00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:59,045
‎-千萬別接
‎-快接

438
00:22:59,129 --> 00:23:00,338
‎-不行
‎-接電話

439
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:01,464
‎好吧

440
00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:03,508
‎你好，蠢貨

441
00:23:04,134 --> 00:23:05,885
‎你不好奇我去了哪裡嗎？

442
00:23:05,969 --> 00:23:08,888
‎告訴你吧，我剛剛殺了夏彌爾

443
00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:10,014
‎沒錯

444
00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:14,227
‎我花了一點時間，但總算
‎像殺火雞那樣割斷他的脖子，他死了

445
00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:17,522
‎而且他頭到尾像小嬰兒一樣尖叫大哭

446
00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:20,024
‎你猜怎麼著？神也死了

447
00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:21,359
‎-才怪
‎-真的

448
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:23,945
‎結束了，否則你以為
‎末日四騎士為什麼會被釋放？

449
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:24,946
‎她說謊

450
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:27,574
‎我知道妳撒謊，我們才不買帳

451
00:23:28,158 --> 00:23:30,535
‎嗨，好朋友，你知道我沒撒謊

452
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:34,497
‎現在我就在你的小醫院外面

453
00:23:35,665 --> 00:23:38,001
‎嗨，醫生，袍子很帥

454
00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:41,171
‎飛盤大叔的蠢咒語
‎不可能永遠把我擋在外面

455
00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:44,924
‎等我一進去，你們全都死定了

456
00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:48,219
‎然後我會在地獄永遠折磨你們的靈魂

457
00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:51,347
‎好吧，沒別的事了

458
00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:52,849
‎再見，掰囉！

459
00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:01,399
‎瓦斯公司不會打視訊電話來

460
00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:42,709
‎字幕翻譯：莊雅婷