1
00:00:17,477 --> 00:00:20,980
<i>When I first wrote about</i>
<i>Clark Thompson, the man who glows,</i>

2
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:25,568
<i>I had in my mind the inspiration of,</i>
<i>"Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus."</i>

3
00:00:26,778 --> 00:00:30,907
<i>I had a thousand excuses as to why Clark</i>
<i>couldn't possibly be a messenger of God</i>

4
00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:32,241
<i>before I met him.</i>

5
00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:36,454
<i>Because even though I personally</i>
<i>do believe in God and Santa Claus,</i>

6
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,956
<i>seeing true evidence</i>
<i>seemed somehow impossible.</i>

7
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,876
<i>But after meeting Clark</i>
<i>and experiencing his peculiar powers,</i>

8
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:43,836
<i>I can honestly say</i>
<i>that I do believe in God.</i>

9
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,506
<i>And I do believe</i>
<i>that Clark is his latest messenger.</i>

10
00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:51,636
<i>Whether anyone chooses to believe me</i>
<i>in the face of overwhelming evidence,</i>

11
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:55,765
<i>including the arrival of the Four Horsemen</i>
<i>of the Apocalypse, is their business.</i>

12
00:00:57,016 --> 00:01:00,269
<i>But no matter how many clicks I get,</i>
<i>I know this is the truth.</i>

13
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:06,192
<i> Now this Clark Thompson</i>
<i>even has his friends</i>

14
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:09,237
pretending to be
the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

15
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,697
It's horsepeople, you dick!

16
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:14,033
I mean,
this madness has got to stop!

17
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:17,328
I've created a bit of a catchphrase
recently. You might have heard it.

18
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,997
-Right, Reverend. That's right!
-Only the righteous are right.

19
00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:21,290
-Yeah!
-And it's true.

20
00:01:21,374 --> 00:01:27,171
Only those who believe in Christ
in the correct way are right.

21
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,756
But, Reverend, by that logic,

22
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,801
what do you say
to all the Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus,

23
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,386
and followers of the Jewish faith?

24
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:35,680
-Speak the truth!
-Jesus saves!

25
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:40,393
I would advise every single one of them
to convert to Christianity immediately,

26
00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:43,187
unless they wish to burn in Hell forever

27
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:46,399
-in everlasting torment and pain.
-Amen!

28
00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:47,441
God bless you all.

29
00:01:49,402 --> 00:01:52,530
-That was harsh.
-Oh! That was great. I have chills.

30
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,990
Oh!

31
00:01:54,073 --> 00:01:55,783
-Thank you, Satalinda.
-Oh!

32
00:01:55,867 --> 00:01:58,578
It takes a strong man to speak such truth,
don't you think?

33
00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:00,788
Very strong. Great presence.

34
00:02:00,872 --> 00:02:01,914
-Well…
-Trust me.

35
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:04,250
-Oh, well, I do. For everything.

36
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,294
-And great for ratings.
-Yes.

37
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:11,257
Listen, we're gonna be
doing some more interviews soon.

38
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:14,760
I just have a few fires I need to put out.
Maybe start a few too.

39
00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:15,678
Ooh!

40
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,973
-You take care, Margie.
-Uh…

41
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,308
No-- It's Maggie.

42
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,979
God, I like her. She's good people.

43
00:02:26,022 --> 00:02:29,108
-You lookin' at my cards?
-No, but you need to…

44
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:31,694
-I know.
-Okay, I've got another one. Four down.

45
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,530
A three-letter word for "hen."

46
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:37,450
-Hen.
-It fits.

47
00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:40,203
Knock, knock. Who's there?

48
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:41,996
It's us. Hi.

49
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,706
-Hey! I didn't know you were coming.
-Hi.

50
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,917
Yeah, I, um… I asked them.

51
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,671
I figured when Satan is FaceTiming
your fella and threatening to kill him,

52
00:02:50,755 --> 00:02:54,759
and torture all of our souls for eternity,
it's time to call in the troops.

53
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:58,095
I'll tell ya something else. It's not
every day you get to whoop Satan's ass.

54
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:00,014
-You know? Come on. Who's with me?
-Whoa, whoa.

55
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,599
-Don't hurt yourself, Tom.
-Tom…

56
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,017
Go easy.

57
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,354
Uh… And I don't think
you wanna be fighting Satan, buddy.

58
00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:09,857
Tell you the truth, no. I mean,
that's boss level, hard mode, right?

59
00:03:09,941 --> 00:03:12,526
And I'm really not that good a fighter.
She'll tell you.

60
00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,694
You're not great.

61
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:15,988
I'm also hoping that God is listening

62
00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:19,867
and sees that I'm trying to be really
brave, even though it's quite terrifying.

63
00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:22,370
-Hey, that has to count for something.
-I hope--

64
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:23,746
-Hey, gang.
-Oh!

65
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:24,830
-Frisbee!

66
00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:26,791
-Wait, wait. This guy's an angel?

67
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:30,920
-Indeed I am.
-You must be a… a mid-level angel, right?

68
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,964
-How did you know that?
-The tie.

69
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,632
Mental note about the tie.

70
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,843
Can you even get any air
with those stubby little chicken wings?

71
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:41,430
Yes, I can. But I need a push
to go in a certain direction.

72
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,017
-Are you okay, Frisbee?
-Yeah, I think so.

73
00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:47,228
What about Chamuel?
Satan said she killed him.

74
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:49,939
I don't know.
When I returned, Satan was there.

75
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,942
And she was holding
a sword that had blood on it.

76
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,236
-Oh, God. Oh my God.
-Oh, no.

77
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:58,072
But I didn't see Chamuel.
I didn't see Chamuel's body.

78
00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:59,657
And she is known to fib.

79
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,159
But that is not why I'm here.

80
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:06,205
Guys, I have to tell you, the spell that
is keeping Satan out of this hospital…

81
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,666
-It expires at dawn.
-Uh…

82
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,709
What? Why?

83
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:13,087
I'll be straight with you.

84
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,506
-It better not be paperwork!
-It has to do with paperwork.

85
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,757
-Oh my God.
-Oh--

86
00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:18,509
-Come on!
-Come on! God!

87
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,679
-Oh no. Something bad. I gotta go.

88
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,389
-Wait, wait, wait!

89
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:25,766
-Come on!
-What?

90
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:28,644
I have to use the restroom.
-Copy that, buddy. I'll come with you.

91
00:04:28,728 --> 00:04:29,729
No, thank you.

92
00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:36,027
Look what I got. Who wants coffee?

93
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,320
-Oh.
-Wow.

94
00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:38,404
Thank you.

95
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,406
-Decaf. Nice.
-Cheers.

96
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,615
Doughnut?

97
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,618
Doughnut?

98
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,412
This is one of your jokes, isn't it?

99
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,621
-I'm Famine.

100
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:51,000
Just having a little
coffee and doughnuts, are we?

101
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:55,671
-Not doin' the work at hand?
-Oh, we don't take questions from ladies.

102
00:04:55,755 --> 00:04:57,757
Oh!

103
00:04:58,382 --> 00:04:59,717
-Smack!
-Ah!

104
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:04,096
Well, now you do, shit-mouth.

105
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:06,515
-Do you know who you're talking to?
-I'm sorry, Satan.

106
00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,392
I didn't recognize you in this form.

107
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:12,313
You're a filthy sewer mouth.
I don't accept your apology.

108
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:15,733
Why aren't you ushering in the apocalypse?
I mean, you're here, aren't you?

109
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,235
So let's make with the devastation, huh?

110
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,571
We-- we got orders to come here and begin.

111
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,616
But now we have other orders
to await further instructions.

112
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,994
-And who's giving the orders?
-I… Well, I…

113
00:05:27,078 --> 00:05:28,829
-Answer the question.

114
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,456
Both sides are.

115
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,711
We're here to do the job
as per Lucifer's command.

116
00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:37,296
-He brought us here.
-Uh-huh.

117
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:40,049
But now the other side
has told us to stand down.

118
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,426
So who are you going to listen to?

119
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:44,095
Well, we don't know.

120
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,971
The war in Heaven's unsettled.

121
00:05:46,055 --> 00:05:50,142
And it's pretty uncertain who the hell
is exactly in charge right now.

122
00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,561
We are largely here for the pageantry.

123
00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:55,856
The pageantry!

124
00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:58,359
Oh, listen to you, Miss America.

125
00:05:58,442 --> 00:05:59,819
The pageantry!

126
00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:02,196
Okay!

127
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,115
Well, well, well.

128
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:07,159
Your name is War!

129
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:12,331
So which one of you assholes
is gonna burn the fuck out of the Earth?

130
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,044
-Uh…

131
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,382
Well, could someone help me
get in that building?

132
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:25,010
Well, it's my understanding that
the structure has been Harry Pottered.

133
00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:27,471
-I guess you're out of luck.
-Shut up.

134
00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:30,558
Fine. I'll just go kill Clark myself.

135
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,476
That's why I don't date demons.

136
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,479
-Hey, what are you doing?

137
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,775
-One stroppy bitch, isn't she?
-Think so.

138
00:06:39,859 --> 00:06:42,319
Okay, I got this. Don't worry about it.

139
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,322
Hi. How you doin'? I'm Death.

140
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:48,909
Okay, you haven't got long to go.
Okay. You're dead. Good. He's dead.

141
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,539
This could really be the end.

142
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,626
-Hi!
-Oh, sweetie.

143
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,755
-You're alive!
-Oh, yes.

144
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,675
Chamuel is with us too.
Though I have seen him in better shape.

145
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,802
Satan lied, honey.

146
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:10,639
You do know that she used to be
on our side? Perfect angel.

147
00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:12,057
And then she turned.

148
00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:14,602
Now she's a really bad duck.

149
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:17,646
So happy to see you. First of all,
without you, there's nothing.

150
00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:18,689
Oh!

151
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,567
And really wish I'd done a better job
getting your message out.

152
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:25,488
You could have done better, but you also
could have done worse, you know?

153
00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:28,616
-The skywriter misspelled a lot of words.
-I know.

154
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,242
But that's not the real problem.

155
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,661
The problem is that, these days,

156
00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:35,748
a lot of folks don't really even
care if there's a God at all.

157
00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:41,003
Oh. Oh!

158
00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:43,380
Oh… Oh.

159
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,218
-Think that would be easier for you.

160
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:50,304
Not really great with the physical plane.
Yeah.

161
00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:57,269
Clark, the war in Heaven
isn't going in the right direction.

162
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:02,274
It ain't over yet, but if I don't set
my full attention to it,

163
00:08:02,358 --> 00:08:03,609
Lucifer could take over.

164
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:06,237
And I might not have
a chance to have any say

165
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,489
in whether I'm okay with that or not.

166
00:08:09,073 --> 00:08:11,909
So I'm going to be out of pocket
for a while.

167
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:14,662
-You'll be on your own.
-Oh.

168
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,413
That's not perfect at all.

169
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,791
Well, it is what it is, you know?

170
00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:21,835
So you need to grab your girl, Amily,

171
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:24,922
and get out of here as fast as you can,
because I might need you later.

172
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:26,340
Okay.

173
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,425
Was Amily chosen too?

174
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,343
Oh, yes.

175
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,721
I brought her to you and you to her.
She's good people.

176
00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:34,974
Anyway, you need to get out while you can.

177
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:38,894
And then figure out some sort of a way
to get my message across better. Okay?

178
00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:42,064
Right. If you wanted to tell me how
to do it exactly,

179
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,440
this would be a great time.

180
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,693
You will know when you know.

181
00:08:46,819 --> 00:08:48,696
-Wanna try something fun?
-Sure.

182
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:52,491
I'm going to tell you
where you need to go next.

183
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,704
That's so cool!

184
00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:58,831
-Fun, right?
-It's in my brain!

185
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,709
Anyway,
I've gotta scoot and, uh…

186
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,086
either save the world or not.

187
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,838
-Cheerio.
-Cheerio.

188
00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:12,761
No coffee this time. Okay.

189
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:23,939
Hi.

190
00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:26,191
Hey. Where…

191
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,569
You were in the bathroom
for three and a half hours.

192
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:30,946
I looked in the bathroom several times.
No one was there.

193
00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:34,366
Well, I was in there. I was…
I was talking to God.

194
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:35,659
-What? Okay.
-Wow.

195
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,787
Every time I don't follow you
into the bathroom, you talk to the boss.

196
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:42,541
Why doesn't God just quickly kill Satan,
and then we can all go home?

197
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,377
-I don't think it's that easy.
-Oh, gosh. Okay.

198
00:09:45,461 --> 00:09:49,048
I think the Lord helps those who
help themselves, so I've heard, and, uh…

199
00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:51,133
Well, God told me to run away.

200
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,510
-Oh.
-Yeah, I gotta go.

201
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:57,723
So, uh, do you wanna run away with me?

202
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,601
Yeah. Sure.

203
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:01,644
Really?

204
00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:03,270
I got nothin' else to do.

205
00:10:03,354 --> 00:10:04,563
Thanks. That's amazing.

206
00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:08,108
Um… And helpful,
because, uh, you've been chosen too.

207
00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:10,444
-God said that about me?
-Mm-hmm.

208
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,737
-What?
-That's awesome.

209
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,156
I always knew you had it in you.
Well done.

210
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,033
Oh, what a beautiful moment.

211
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,202
Where's my-- where's my phone?

212
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,328
-Oh…
-Here.

213
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:20,579
-Here you go.
-Dad…

214
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:23,791
You know, I, uh… I might not see you
for a while,

215
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:25,626
so I'm gonna take this picture.

216
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,835
-Okay.
-Yeah.

217
00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:29,129
-I'm so proud of you.
-Yeah. I'll be in touch, though.

218
00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:31,590
I know. But you gotta--
You gotta do what you gotta do, right?

219
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:34,677
-It's low. Raise that camera up.
-Okay, pose for me.

220
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,011
-Pose for me.
-Pretty low.

221
00:10:36,095 --> 00:10:37,638
-With beautiful Amily.
-Lift it slightly.

222
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:38,597
-Stop saying "pose."

223
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,432
-It'd help me feel less posed.
-Just click it.

224
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:42,434
-I'm only seeing myself.
-Oh, um…

225
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:43,602
-Yeah.
-Wait, what?

226
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,187
-Just press the middle button.
-Flip it?

227
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,730
-No, that side--
-No…

228
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,732
Back around
and just hit the center one.

229
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,694
I think my smile's turning weird.
I'm holding it too long.

230
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,153
-Quickly.
-And click.

231
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:55,656
-Yeah, I know how to use a phone.
-Beg your pardon.

232
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,741
-Hold it up.
-I could make a boomerang.

233
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:58,742
Got it.

234
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,452
Could you text that to me?

235
00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:01,662
That's your phone, sir.

236
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,455
Oh, right.

237
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:05,582
I'm sorry. Can't we all go?

238
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,168
Sorry. God only mentioned Amily.

239
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,506
I guess that we're pretty much mincemeat
in the eyes of God now, aren't we?

240
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:13,424
-No.
-We are.

241
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:16,385
I think-- I think God
just wants you guys all to stay safe.

242
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:17,678
That's nice.

243
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,847
Well, what do you think?

244
00:11:20,431 --> 00:11:23,183
Ready to get goin'?
I think I know where we're supposed to go.

245
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:26,895
-God just implanted it in your head?
-Yeah, I even know the route.

246
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,440
-Which is kind of neat.
-That's very cool.

247
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,818
-Where are you going?
-I can't tell you, Mohsin. It's not safe.

248
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,988
-God. You sound so cool saying that.
-And I thank you so very much.

249
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:39,116
If it's not safe, I'm not letting you
go anywhere. Not without me.

250
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:42,870
-I need you to do something important.
-Of course. Anything.

251
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,205
Look after my cats.
They mean the world to me.

252
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:49,501
And just FYI, Skittles loves beer,
and Honey really loves tequila.

253
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:52,463
Do you give my cats,
like, a lot of alcohol, or…

254
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,173
Oh, what do you consider a lot?

255
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,550
I guess any would be a lot with a cat.

256
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:59,970
-Please don't give them alcohol.
-Oh, shit. The sun's coming up.

257
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:02,514
Frisbee said we'd lose
our Harry Potter at dawn.

258
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:19,072
Who puts a time limit
on Harry Pottering stuff?

259
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,329
-Okay, that can't be good.
-No.

260
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:40,344
-Let's go this way.
-Okay. Okay.

261
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,845
Oh, God…

262
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,263
-Oh!
-That's a pull.

263
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,515
Yeah, that's a pull!

264
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,016
Let's go.

265
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,321
Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

266
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,536
-Sorry!
-Excuse us.

267
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,519
Come on, go. Come on, come on!

268
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:36,733
Well, well, well. It seems the charlatan
shall always run away from the light.

269
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:40,696
You cannot avert the eyes of AOHN
from your evil ways.

270
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:43,115
Do you guys actually believe
your own bullshit?

271
00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:44,032
Amily.

272
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:47,494
I'm so sorry
that you lost your parents so young.

273
00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:50,414
And I'm really sorry
that your aunt was so horrible to you,

274
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,291
saying that you'd never be worth anything.

275
00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:54,835
That's why you always
pick lint off your shirt,

276
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,712
because she always said you were dirty.

277
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,213
I'm really sorry.

278
00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:00,924
How did you know that?
I've never told anyone that.

279
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,552
<i>Deos te absolves.</i>

280
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,597
God forgives me?

281
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,473
<i>Liquore alais linguia?</i>

282
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,226
Yes. You are speaking
a different language.

283
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:12,853
Am I translating Latin for you?

284
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:15,063
-How did you do that?
-I don't know.

285
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,527
I've memorized the exit plans.
There's seven exits in total.

286
00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:21,737
Which one do we take?

287
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,324
The front door. It's the most obvious.
She would never think we would choose it.

288
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,951
I mean, I-- I think. Or-- I'm not sure.

289
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,454
If it's okay,
I'm gonna kiss you right now.

290
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,290
-Ooh! Uh… Well, um, that's perfectly…
-Okay.

291
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,421
Uh… Kids.

292
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,508
Hey. Uh, hey. We gotta go.

293
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:46,428
-Right. Imminent death. Okay, let's go.
-Yeah.

294
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,846
Excuse me! Uh…

295
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,431
-Thank you so much for that.
-It's okay.

296
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,601
Oh, no. God.

297
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:53,560
Hey, buddy.

298
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,729
It's great to see ya again.

299
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:58,357
You ready to come join our team?

300
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,068
No. No.

301
00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:05,489
I am here to watch over Clark.
And that's what I'm going to do.

302
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,532
Even though they don't respect you?

303
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:13,872
Our side can give you stuff.
All kinds of stuff.

304
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:15,749
Like a room

305
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:17,626
full of files

306
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:21,588
that never ever ends.

307
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:23,966
Well…

308
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,718
-That sounds really good, honestly.
-Mm-hmm.

309
00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:28,553
But you're also the Lord of Lies.

310
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,933
So I'm gonna stay on track, and…

311
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:35,894
I don't wanna hurt you,
but I have been known--

312
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,691
I was saying-- Oof! Oh!

313
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:43,068
-Wow.

314
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,820
-That stung.
-Frisbee!

315
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,699
How are you taking this much punishment?
It's very impressive.

316
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,868
It's a funny story. If we could
stop fighting, we could talk about it.

317
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,204
-I don't have that time.

318
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,164
But can I ask you something?

319
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:58,750
-Oh--
-Can we always stay friends?

320
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,169
You're so pretty.

321
00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:02,254
I know.

322
00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:10,012
-Well, that Frisbee didn't fly.

323
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,934
Oh my God. Throp, listen to me.

324
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,771
That man that has smashed
on top of that ambulance is an angel.

325
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:21,440
He's an actual angel of God.

326
00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:24,401
We can't stay here. It's not safe
for Clark. So will you help him?

327
00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:27,195
Will you help him?

328
00:16:30,115 --> 00:16:31,700
Somebody help me with that man!

329
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:34,870
-Move! Move!

330
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,330
I think this is all gonna work.

331
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,957
-Whoo!

332
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,627
Worked for me.

333
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,213
I'm going to kill all of you

334
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:47,799
and then suck the marrow
out of your souls.

335
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,510
I feel bad for you.

336
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:53,388
Oh, you do feel so bad for me?

337
00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:55,307
I've seen inside your heart.

338
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,643
You want those other demons
to respect you.

339
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:01,188
You want for them to look up to you.

340
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,067
You shouldn't be here
finishing off weak mortals.

341
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:10,363
You belong in the great battle in Heaven,
garnering the ultimate glory.

342
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:12,991
You deserve to be the one in charge.

343
00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:15,243
That's right.

344
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,830
That's what I see too.

345
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,750
And that's what I deserve.

346
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,169
And that's what I'm going to get.

347
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,925
Come on, Horsemen! Yaaah!

348
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,136
I don't know if we'll make it.
I never wanted to get trampled.

349
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,388
Not exactly on anyone's wish list.
Just go, go, go, go!

350
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,144
Did you just mind-control Satan?

351
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:43,939
It was like I could see inside her
evil heart

352
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,649
and see the vanity that was in there,

353
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,276
and told her she should pursue
what she really wants to do.

354
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,028
-She did, and it was amazing!
-Thanks.

355
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:52,447
Hey, stop!
Weren't we supposed to meet Tom here?

356
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,623
You shall not pass!

357
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:08,213
Guys, they're confused
by my half-nakedness.

358
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,715
-Get the hell outta here! Go, go!
-Thanks, Tom!

359
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:12,884
Here. Can you drive?

360
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,010
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

361
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,178
Oh my God!

362
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:16,805
Where's his pants?

363
00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:18,598
Okay, demons.

364
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:22,686
That sword's obviously fake.

365
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:26,481
-Ha!
-I said don't pass.

366
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:27,774
-I said don't…

367
00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:29,526
Okay. Okay.

368
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:49,838
Why did I take my clothes off?

369
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:55,760
I hope Frisbee's okay.

370
00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:58,847
Yeah, I… I bet he is.
I mean, he's an angel.

371
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:01,516
That… That has to count
for something, right?

372
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,226
Yeah. Yeah.

373
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,103
-I hope you're right.
-Yeah.

374
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:08,690
-I wanna know, where is Satan?

375
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:13,278
I don't know.
I can't even get a vibe. Usually, I…

376
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:15,780
I was hoping maybe
I'd have some kind of feeling about it.

377
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:16,781
-And I don't.
-Nothing?

378
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:21,494
Nothing. But I don't think God would
leave us to deal with her on our own.

379
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,787
I hope not.

380
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,041
I just want everybody to be all right.

381
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,834
I even want God to be all right.

382
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,753
Yeah.

383
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:31,671
-And Chamuel.

384
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:36,843
Weird times,
when you've gotta pray for the angels.

385
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:38,595
Yeah.

386
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:43,934
All I'm seeing on a continuous loop
is Tom in his tiny underpants, so…

387
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:48,605
He really showed up, huh?

388
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,399
-They all did.
-Yeah.

389
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,319
Thank you for coming with me.

390
00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:55,946
Of course.

391
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:04,412
The Mamas and the Papas.

392
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:06,831
I-- I love the Mamas and the Papas.

393
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:09,501
-They're my favorite after Rush.

394
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,461
-I know.

395
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,630
-How? Did I ever tell you that?

396
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,258
-No.

397
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:33,066
-I love you.

398
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:37,487
<i>
I love you too.</i>

399
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,989
Even though you already knew that.

400
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,741
-I knew it.

401
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:42,659
You know what?

402
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:47,289
-Maybe everything will be just fine.

403
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:48,415
Maybe.