1 00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:16,601 [people chattering] 2 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,313 [horn honks] 3 00:00:22,691 --> 00:00:23,692 Oh, she's here. 4 00:00:23,692 --> 00:00:27,696 [clamoring, cheering] 5 00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:43,044 [crew member] Hey, ladies. I'm sorry. The audience is full for today. 6 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,130 Please come back tomorrow. 7 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:47,048 [people groaning, clamoring] 8 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,052 - Baking dish? - [presenter] The left holds more heat. 9 00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:53,388 Live in two. I need you in the chair. 10 00:00:53,388 --> 00:00:54,931 [presenter] Did you get the sodium chloride? 11 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:57,058 - Of course. - [assistant] Roma or San Marzano? 12 00:00:57,684 --> 00:00:59,227 [presenter] Roma. Thank you, James. 13 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,563 [manager] You never answered my question 14 00:01:01,563 --> 00:01:04,065 about the Presto sponsorship. And I know how you feel about-- 15 00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,151 [presenter] I will start the show with it, Walter. 16 00:01:06,151 --> 00:01:08,111 Really? You're not just saying that? 17 00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,030 Oh, good Lord. Thank you. 18 00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:11,781 Uh, cans are on the counter. 19 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:15,076 Don't forget to smile from time to time. Have a great show. Bye. 20 00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:17,203 [audience giggling, chattering] 21 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:20,498 - What kind of salt did she want? - Uniodized. I went with kosher. 22 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,084 Oh. 23 00:01:24,753 --> 00:01:27,422 It's all gotta be perfect. Labels out. 24 00:01:27,923 --> 00:01:30,634 Uh, it's all in the cue cards. 25 00:01:30,634 --> 00:01:32,510 - [presenter] Oh, don't worry, Walter. - She's got it. 26 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:35,180 Welcome, ladies. The show's about to start. 27 00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:38,516 - Big smiles. Energy. Happy. - [clamoring, giggling] 28 00:01:39,184 --> 00:01:41,186 Energy. Big smiles. All of you. 29 00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:43,396 And rolling. 30 00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:46,566 We're live in five, four, three... 31 00:01:49,194 --> 00:01:50,195 Welcome, viewers. 32 00:01:50,195 --> 00:01:53,949 My name is Elizabeth Zott, and this is Supper at Six. 33 00:01:53,949 --> 00:01:56,660 [cheering] 34 00:01:57,244 --> 00:01:58,245 See this? 35 00:02:01,665 --> 00:02:04,876 {\an8}Presto Soups. Cooks so quick, it's done in a presto. 36 00:02:05,961 --> 00:02:08,379 - That's my line. - It is a real time-saver. 37 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:11,424 {\an8}And that's because it's full of chemicals. And not the good kind. 38 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,177 {\an8}- Hmm? - There will be a surprise indeed. 39 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:16,263 {\an8}Feed enough of it to your loved ones, and they'll die off, 40 00:02:16,263 --> 00:02:17,764 {\an8}saving you tons of time 41 00:02:17,764 --> 00:02:19,391 {\an8}because you won't have to feed them anymore. 42 00:02:19,391 --> 00:02:21,685 - [audience laughing] - [sighs] 43 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:26,189 Today we will be making a fan-favorite, lasagna, 44 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:28,441 but we will be testing a new variable. 45 00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:34,614 - Caring for loved ones takes work. - [children chuckling] 46 00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:35,782 [Elizabeth] Real work. 47 00:02:35,782 --> 00:02:37,742 Anyone who tells you differently does not cook dinner 48 00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:39,494 for a family of five every night. 49 00:02:40,078 --> 00:02:43,540 So let's make something hearty. Let's make something delicious. 50 00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:46,001 Let's make something that keeps our family alive 51 00:02:46,001 --> 00:02:47,794 and gives us leftovers for a week. 52 00:02:48,670 --> 00:02:50,171 Let's get started, shall we? 53 00:02:51,089 --> 00:02:54,092 ["Wham (Re Bop Boom Bam)" playing] 54 00:04:15,549 --> 00:04:19,886 [breathing heavily] 55 00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:23,265 [panting, grunting] 56 00:04:41,408 --> 00:04:43,618 ["Feudin' and Fightin'" playing on radio] 57 00:04:57,048 --> 00:04:58,049 [music ends] 58 00:05:00,135 --> 00:05:01,136 [sighs] 59 00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:09,561 - [elevator bell dings] - [people chattering] 60 00:05:11,396 --> 00:05:12,480 {\an8}Mmm. 61 00:05:13,273 --> 00:05:16,443 {\an8}Miss Zott? Miss Zott? 62 00:05:16,443 --> 00:05:17,861 Good morning, Miss Frask. 63 00:05:17,861 --> 00:05:20,363 I hope you'll sign up for the Little Miss Hastings Pageant. 64 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,741 Uh, you know, your lab is in between secretaries, 65 00:05:22,741 --> 00:05:24,618 and your fellas really could use a contestant. 66 00:05:24,618 --> 00:05:25,911 I am not a secretary. 67 00:05:27,162 --> 00:05:29,331 Well, you know, lab techs can participate too. 68 00:05:29,331 --> 00:05:30,916 It's any female support staff. 69 00:05:30,916 --> 00:05:33,585 Thank you, but pageants are not my idea of fun. 70 00:05:33,585 --> 00:05:36,504 Oh. What-- What is? 71 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:39,758 Hmm. Well, I have recently become fascinated by archaebacteria, 72 00:05:39,758 --> 00:05:43,428 whose cell membranes are ether-link foster lipids as opposed to bacteria, 73 00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:45,889 whose cell membrane are ester-link foster lipids. 74 00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:47,390 I also like to cook. 75 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,143 Let me know if you change your mind. 76 00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:51,228 I won't, but thank you. 77 00:05:51,228 --> 00:05:52,646 Now, if you don't mind, 78 00:05:52,646 --> 00:05:54,731 I have a lot to clean up before the chemists arrive. 79 00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:56,858 I'm gonna put you down as a "maybe." 80 00:05:59,611 --> 00:06:01,154 [water running] 81 00:06:01,154 --> 00:06:02,614 [jazz music playing] 82 00:06:20,632 --> 00:06:21,716 [knocks] 83 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:23,552 I'm not to be disturbed! 84 00:06:23,552 --> 00:06:26,096 [department head] Dr. Evans? It's Dr. Donatti. 85 00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:30,141 [Dr. Evans] One minute. 86 00:06:33,937 --> 00:06:35,272 You're not dressed. 87 00:06:35,272 --> 00:06:38,233 Uh, well, in some cultures, I would be considered overdressed. 88 00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:39,317 - [chuckles] - [sighs] 89 00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:41,152 You missed our monthly board meeting again. 90 00:06:41,152 --> 00:06:43,697 [breathes deeply] Because I've been hard at work. 91 00:06:44,197 --> 00:06:46,491 Everyone is anxiously awaiting your results. 92 00:06:46,491 --> 00:06:48,076 And everyone will have to wait. 93 00:06:48,577 --> 00:06:50,954 You will be ready to submit your proposal... 94 00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:53,123 - [sighs] - ...for the Remsen Foundation grant, right? 95 00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:56,167 Because those grants keep the lights on around here. 96 00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:58,461 I can think of a few lights that would be best left off. 97 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,964 Now, if you and your foot will please excuse me. 98 00:07:01,965 --> 00:07:04,593 You do understand that I'm your boss, right? 99 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:06,469 Fire me. 100 00:07:09,514 --> 00:07:11,099 [chemist] Honey, can you clean this up for me? 101 00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:12,893 And bring me those beakers I asked for? 102 00:07:13,518 --> 00:07:15,770 Oh, and, sweetheart, I could use another cup of joe 103 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:16,980 when you're done with that. 104 00:07:16,980 --> 00:07:19,441 It'll be a few minutes. You could go to the cafeteria. 105 00:07:19,441 --> 00:07:21,568 [chemist] But it's not your special beaker brew. 106 00:07:21,568 --> 00:07:23,236 - [sighs] - Zott? 107 00:07:23,236 --> 00:07:24,696 Yes, Dr. Powers? 108 00:07:25,196 --> 00:07:27,490 I've run it three times. What am I missing? 109 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:30,952 You're not seeing conversion of the carbonyl group into an imine group. 110 00:07:30,952 --> 00:07:32,787 Right, I just-- [sighs] 111 00:07:32,787 --> 00:07:34,497 You forgot the acid catalyst. 112 00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:37,167 [scoffs] Thanks. I got it. 113 00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:39,169 Gentlemen, can you believe this shit? 114 00:07:40,212 --> 00:07:41,254 I don't get it. 115 00:07:41,254 --> 00:07:43,256 What does Evans have that any of us don't have? 116 00:07:43,256 --> 00:07:45,508 [Dr. Powers] He's a shoo-in for the Nobel. 117 00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,510 [chemist 2] The Nobel Prize is overrated. 118 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:51,264 It says, "Calvin Evans is the Richard Feynman of chemistry." 119 00:07:51,264 --> 00:07:53,350 Doesn't give him an excuse to hoard all our supplies. 120 00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:56,353 - How much ribose does one guy need? - [chemists chuckle] 121 00:07:56,353 --> 00:07:58,021 Well, Evans better watch his back 122 00:07:58,021 --> 00:08:01,483 because young Boryweitz is coming for his grant this year. 123 00:08:01,483 --> 00:08:03,151 - [chemists chuckle] - Good luck with that, buddy. 124 00:08:03,151 --> 00:08:05,820 Looks like it's a rip-off of Vauquelin's research. 125 00:08:05,820 --> 00:08:08,448 - I'm building on his work. - Hmm. [clicks tongue] An homage. 126 00:08:08,448 --> 00:08:11,201 - From 1806. [laughs] - [laughing] 127 00:08:11,201 --> 00:08:13,036 Hand to God, you got a better chance of winning 128 00:08:13,036 --> 00:08:16,581 - the Little Miss Hastings Pageant. - [laughing] 129 00:08:16,581 --> 00:08:18,458 - Right. - Well, that is unless, uh, 130 00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:22,671 - Zott here decides to enter. Huh, boys? - [chemists jeering] Come on, sweetie. Huh? 131 00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:24,965 - [laughing] - [Dr. Powers] Was it something I said? 132 00:08:24,965 --> 00:08:27,050 [chattering] 133 00:08:43,525 --> 00:08:45,610 - [Miss Frask] So I said to Robert-- - Fran now calls him Robert. 134 00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:47,737 I said to Dr. Donatti that, you know, 135 00:08:47,737 --> 00:08:51,116 this pageant needs to be sophisticated, needs to be elevated. It needs pizzazz. 136 00:08:51,116 --> 00:08:52,576 What it needs is an open bar. 137 00:08:53,076 --> 00:08:55,078 - I'm not a miracle worker. - Yes, you are. 138 00:08:55,078 --> 00:08:56,580 Well, you know what? I might be. 139 00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:59,499 Because, um, I'm excited to say that he agreed 140 00:08:59,499 --> 00:09:00,917 to an evening gown category, 141 00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:04,087 before talent and swimsuit, and a cash prize. 142 00:09:04,087 --> 00:09:05,255 [gasping] 143 00:09:06,047 --> 00:09:08,967 [secretary 1] Every day. Dr. Evans and his bag of nuts. 144 00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:10,594 [secretary 2] How can any man survive on that? 145 00:09:10,594 --> 00:09:12,095 And he runs. 146 00:09:12,095 --> 00:09:13,179 Runs where? 147 00:09:14,014 --> 00:09:16,600 He just runs to run. He's very peculiar. 148 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,685 [secretary 1] And he never talks to anyone. 149 00:09:29,529 --> 00:09:33,199 [chemists chattering] 150 00:09:38,288 --> 00:09:42,584 Hey. Donatti put a freeze on overtime. So don't stay too late, or it's my tail. 151 00:09:42,584 --> 00:09:44,419 - [Elizabeth] I'm right behind you. - Okay. 152 00:10:17,327 --> 00:10:18,328 Shit. 153 00:10:41,393 --> 00:10:42,477 {\an8}[lock clicking] 154 00:11:45,665 --> 00:11:48,585 [breathes deeply] 155 00:12:02,766 --> 00:12:08,188 Miss Zott, I supervise over a hundred of the country's finest chemists, 156 00:12:08,188 --> 00:12:10,941 who in turn generate groundbreaking work. 157 00:12:11,816 --> 00:12:15,528 They use equipment worth thousands of dollars to generate said work. 158 00:12:15,528 --> 00:12:19,908 And so when I hear that a lab tech is using our equipment 159 00:12:19,908 --> 00:12:24,913 after hours without proper supervision, it gives me pause. 160 00:12:25,789 --> 00:12:29,542 Sir, I can explain. I have my master's in chemistry from UCLA, 161 00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:32,671 where I studied cellular metabolism of nucleic acids. 162 00:12:32,671 --> 00:12:37,509 With all that said, I have been working in my off-hours, never on the clock, 163 00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:39,761 conducting my own experiments on abiogenesis. 164 00:12:39,761 --> 00:12:45,267 I am synthesizing simple, small molecules into nucleotides and nucleic acids. 165 00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:48,520 My research is very promising, and I intend to submit for the Remsen. 166 00:12:49,271 --> 00:12:52,440 Young lady, setting aside the fact that you're using lab equipment 167 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,442 without proper supervision of a chemist-- 168 00:12:54,442 --> 00:12:55,735 I am a chemist. 169 00:12:55,735 --> 00:12:57,696 Our chemists have PhDs. 170 00:12:58,738 --> 00:13:01,866 I could never put the Hastings name on the submission of a lab tech 171 00:13:01,866 --> 00:13:05,203 that's proudly waving around her master's from UCLA. 172 00:13:05,203 --> 00:13:07,080 - I was top of my class... - Miss Zott-- 173 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,582 ...and the work will speak for itself. 174 00:13:08,582 --> 00:13:10,375 You are just not smart enough. 175 00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:14,588 Miss Zott, I wasn't finished. 176 00:13:15,088 --> 00:13:17,632 What's this I hear about you not participating 177 00:13:17,632 --> 00:13:19,342 in the Little Miss Hastings Pageant? 178 00:13:19,926 --> 00:13:21,678 I wasn't aware that it was compulsory. 179 00:13:21,678 --> 00:13:23,138 It is not compulsory. 180 00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:25,891 It is part of the culture here. 181 00:13:25,891 --> 00:13:29,060 [sighs] I would suggest that you find yourself 182 00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:31,062 a little more of the Hastings spirit, 183 00:13:31,062 --> 00:13:32,981 if you'd like to keep your employment here. 184 00:13:34,691 --> 00:13:35,734 Now you may go. 185 00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:43,158 A smile once in a while wouldn't kill you. 186 00:13:44,284 --> 00:13:46,369 - [people chattering] - [phone ringing] 187 00:13:47,412 --> 00:13:48,413 Miss Zott. 188 00:13:50,081 --> 00:13:51,082 [clears throat] 189 00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:52,709 Miss Zott? 190 00:13:52,709 --> 00:13:54,586 I hear you're joining us for the pageant. 191 00:13:54,586 --> 00:13:57,255 - How did you-- - So glad you had a change of heart. 192 00:13:57,255 --> 00:13:59,216 So I don't know if you've heard, 193 00:13:59,216 --> 00:14:01,718 but there's an evening gown category this year. 194 00:14:01,718 --> 00:14:04,221 And also bikinis aren't mandatory. 195 00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:07,265 Feel free to wear a one-piece, if that makes you feel more comfortable. 196 00:14:07,265 --> 00:14:09,643 Uh, is now a good time for a photo? 197 00:14:10,143 --> 00:14:11,895 - Smile. - [shutter clicks] 198 00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:20,820 Ah, there she is. The thief. 199 00:14:21,321 --> 00:14:22,489 I beg your pardon? 200 00:14:23,782 --> 00:14:27,494 I have been through every department, interrogated dozens of chemists-- 201 00:14:27,494 --> 00:14:29,579 including ones from this very lab-- 202 00:14:29,579 --> 00:14:33,583 who said that you, Miss Zott, have a history of ruffling feathers. 203 00:14:34,084 --> 00:14:35,252 And perhaps more relevant, 204 00:14:35,252 --> 00:14:37,587 have an arrogant attitude of self-importance. 205 00:14:37,587 --> 00:14:38,922 Have you heard yourself speak? 206 00:14:38,922 --> 00:14:40,757 Oh. So you don't-- you don't deny it? 207 00:14:41,633 --> 00:14:43,468 What would a secretary even have to do with ribose 208 00:14:43,468 --> 00:14:45,136 aside from sell it on the black market? 209 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:49,849 - I am a chemist. - Oh. [chuckles] And a fibber to boot. 210 00:14:50,892 --> 00:14:54,062 Oh, yes. Because there's such high demand on the black market for monosaccharide! 211 00:14:54,062 --> 00:14:57,607 [Calvin] This is very disappointing! Very-- I'm disappointed. 212 00:14:59,317 --> 00:15:01,278 One: My lab was unlocked last night, 213 00:15:01,278 --> 00:15:05,115 so I want someone to speak to janitorial and have new locks placed on the door. 214 00:15:05,115 --> 00:15:08,118 Two: I have calculated the cost of the missing ribose, 215 00:15:08,827 --> 00:15:11,288 and I wanna make it clear, that will not be coming out of my budget. 216 00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:13,498 Three: I want my floors sterilized. 217 00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:16,209 At least one person entered without my authorization. 218 00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:19,796 And with my allergies, I cannot risk any contaminants. You understand? 219 00:15:19,796 --> 00:15:21,256 I'll take care of it, Dr. Evans. 220 00:15:21,256 --> 00:15:24,217 And lastly, I would like the secretary responsible held accountable. 221 00:15:24,217 --> 00:15:25,510 I'll have her fired. 222 00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:28,847 [groans, stammers] Well, just a formal reprimand will suffice. 223 00:15:28,847 --> 00:15:32,267 I'm shocked that it was one of my secretaries, honestly. 224 00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:34,311 - You said it was in the aminos lab? - Mm-hmm. 225 00:15:34,311 --> 00:15:35,645 So that's Mary Ann Rogers. 226 00:15:35,645 --> 00:15:36,771 No. No, no, no. 227 00:15:36,771 --> 00:15:38,440 Her name was Elizabeth Zott. 228 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,651 [stammers] Oh. She's not a secretary. She's a lab tech. 229 00:15:41,651 --> 00:15:44,863 [scoffs] Miss Zott should know better. She has her master's. 230 00:15:44,863 --> 00:15:47,490 - Her master's? In what? - Chemistry. 231 00:15:50,327 --> 00:15:52,746 Will you be joining us for the Little Miss Hastings Pageant this year? 232 00:15:52,746 --> 00:15:55,582 'Cause it would mean a lot to company morale to see you there. 233 00:16:06,218 --> 00:16:07,219 Hmm. 234 00:16:12,098 --> 00:16:13,558 [jazz music playing] 235 00:16:21,358 --> 00:16:23,526 [people chattering] 236 00:16:27,697 --> 00:16:28,698 [Calvin clears throat] 237 00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:33,870 Evans? [chuckles] Did not expect to see you here. 238 00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:35,914 - Right. - It's like seeing Halley's Comet. 239 00:16:35,914 --> 00:16:37,874 Come have a drink with me and the fellas, huh? 240 00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:39,167 Or no one will believe me. 241 00:16:39,793 --> 00:16:43,213 - What's your poison? - Uh, cyanide or aflatoxin. 242 00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:46,299 [laughs] You're too much, huh? 243 00:16:46,299 --> 00:16:48,176 Boys, say hi to the guy right here. 244 00:16:48,176 --> 00:16:50,512 - The man, the myth, the legend. - [Dr. Powers] Anthony Powers. Hi. 245 00:16:50,512 --> 00:16:52,722 [chemist] Mr. Remsen himself, I guess, huh? 246 00:16:53,306 --> 00:16:55,016 What are you working on right now? 247 00:16:55,684 --> 00:16:58,853 Elizabeth. Hi. There you are. 248 00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:02,816 Come follow me. Come stand with us pageant girls. 249 00:17:02,816 --> 00:17:04,234 - You look great. - [Elizabeth] Thank you. 250 00:17:04,234 --> 00:17:07,027 - It took me forever to get ready today. - Hmm. 251 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,030 - Girls, Elizabeth's here. - Hello. 252 00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:10,949 - [chuckles] - [Fran sighs] I'll be right back. 253 00:17:10,949 --> 00:17:13,660 The, uh, Swedish meatballs are running a bit low. 254 00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:15,286 They're a real hit. [chuckles] 255 00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:17,872 [sighs] Fran did such a great job. 256 00:17:17,872 --> 00:17:19,332 - So great. - [contestants] Mm-hmm. 257 00:17:19,332 --> 00:17:22,252 [sniffs] I love your scent. What is that? 258 00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:25,796 Oh. Black currant berries with floral tones of roses. 259 00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:29,175 - I'm a classic kind of girl. Chanel No. 5. - Mmm. 260 00:17:29,175 --> 00:17:30,677 Elizabeth, what scent do you wear? 261 00:17:31,261 --> 00:17:35,599 Oh, I-- I don't. In the lab, your sense of smell alerts you to potential dangers. 262 00:17:35,599 --> 00:17:38,393 And I'm already at a deficit due to a hydrochloric acid accident 263 00:17:38,393 --> 00:17:39,728 when I was an undergrad. 264 00:17:39,728 --> 00:17:41,813 I singed most of the cilia in my nostrils, 265 00:17:41,813 --> 00:17:44,107 but thankfully they restored themselves over time. 266 00:17:44,691 --> 00:17:46,276 So I'm not taking any more chances. 267 00:17:48,445 --> 00:17:49,487 [chuckles] 268 00:17:49,487 --> 00:17:52,240 [stammers] Calvin Evans is here. 269 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,576 - [gasps] You're sweet on him, aren't you? - [groans, scoffs] 270 00:17:54,576 --> 00:17:58,038 Smart, well-to-do, famous. What's not to like? 271 00:17:58,038 --> 00:17:59,581 [chuckling] 272 00:18:00,165 --> 00:18:01,166 Try talking to him. 273 00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:06,046 Well, two more of these, and I'm going to ask him to vote for me. 274 00:18:06,046 --> 00:18:07,130 [chuckling] 275 00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:08,256 [mumbles] 276 00:18:08,256 --> 00:18:09,341 Excuse me. 277 00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:14,221 [sighs] I'm just gonna stand here with you. 278 00:18:15,639 --> 00:18:16,640 All right. 279 00:18:17,599 --> 00:18:20,477 [chewing, sighs] 280 00:18:20,477 --> 00:18:22,729 You shouldn't let the other chemists pick on you so much. 281 00:18:23,730 --> 00:18:26,942 Oh. [chuckles] It's just fellas being fellas. 282 00:18:26,942 --> 00:18:29,236 Hmm. Male primate behavior. 283 00:18:29,736 --> 00:18:32,239 Please, everyone, take your seats. Take your seats. 284 00:18:32,239 --> 00:18:33,323 [applause] 285 00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:35,825 Pageant contestants, can I get you backstage? 286 00:18:36,368 --> 00:18:37,369 Thank you. 287 00:18:37,911 --> 00:18:40,622 Welcome, welcome, welcome. I'm Fran Frask... 288 00:18:40,622 --> 00:18:44,000 - [Calvin] Miss Zott, I have wanted to-- - [Fran] ...acting head of Personnel. 289 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,710 [applause] 290 00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:48,463 And I couldn't be more excited to welcome you 291 00:18:48,463 --> 00:18:52,759 to the eighth annual Little Miss Hastings Pageant, 292 00:18:52,759 --> 00:18:55,762 where one lucky woman will take home the crown 293 00:18:55,762 --> 00:18:58,640 worn by last year's winner Colleen Murphy. 294 00:18:58,640 --> 00:18:59,724 [audience cheering] 295 00:18:59,724 --> 00:19:04,980 Yes. Yeah, she looks great. Uh, and a $25 cash prize. 296 00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:06,856 - [person gasps] - Thank you, Colleen. [chuckles] 297 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,734 I will also be joining the competition this year. 298 00:19:09,734 --> 00:19:11,486 But feel no pressure to vote for me... 299 00:19:11,486 --> 00:19:14,573 [chuckles] ...unless you care about getting your vacation days approved. 300 00:19:14,573 --> 00:19:16,616 - [laughing] - [Fran] I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 301 00:19:16,616 --> 00:19:20,662 And without further ado, I'd like to introduce tonight's emcee, 302 00:19:20,662 --> 00:19:22,330 Dr. Richard Price. 303 00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:24,207 [applause] 304 00:19:26,626 --> 00:19:29,087 Thank you. Thank you, Miss Frask. 305 00:19:29,087 --> 00:19:32,257 Wonderful. What a night. Pretty good turnout tonight. 306 00:19:32,257 --> 00:19:33,633 Okay. [stammers] Oh, wait. 307 00:19:33,633 --> 00:19:37,888 Hey, before I get started, uh, just a-- a quick question from management. 308 00:19:37,888 --> 00:19:40,765 Did anyone here lose an electron? 309 00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:43,268 - [audience chuckles] - You really gotta keep an ion it. 310 00:19:43,268 --> 00:19:45,270 - [laughing] - [Richard] Ion? 311 00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:47,355 - Everybody got it? - Ions. [laughs] 312 00:19:47,355 --> 00:19:51,192 Okay. Folks, let's get started with the show. 313 00:19:51,192 --> 00:19:55,488 Now, please keep in mind, these ladies have worked very, very hard. 314 00:19:55,488 --> 00:20:00,952 {\an8}So please, everybody, let's all make like a proton... [chuckles] ...and stay positive. 315 00:20:00,952 --> 00:20:03,830 [laughing] 316 00:20:03,830 --> 00:20:08,043 All right. And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for. 317 00:20:08,043 --> 00:20:14,507 I give you your Little Miss Hastings 1951 contestants. 318 00:20:14,507 --> 00:20:17,802 - Here they are. Oh, fantastic. - [applause] 319 00:20:17,802 --> 00:20:21,014 Aren't they charming? Look at that. 320 00:20:26,853 --> 00:20:32,234 Miss Synthetics, what would you make your future husband for dessert? 321 00:20:32,234 --> 00:20:33,568 {\an8}- [people chuckling] - [chuckles] 322 00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:37,989 {\an8}Well, I'd start with two scoops of vanilla ice cream, 323 00:20:37,989 --> 00:20:41,451 {\an8}and I'd squeeze chocolate sauce all over them. 324 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,205 {\an8}And you'll have to vote for me if you wanna hear how I apply the whipped cream. 325 00:20:45,205 --> 00:20:48,083 {\an8}- [chuckles] Okay. - [cheering, whistling] 326 00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:52,379 {\an8}Miss Zott, where would be your fantasy honeymoon location? 327 00:20:52,963 --> 00:20:54,381 {\an8}I don't intend to get married. 328 00:20:54,381 --> 00:20:55,715 {\an8}[audience murmurs] 329 00:20:55,715 --> 00:20:57,676 {\an8}Ye-- Okay, yes. But if you did? 330 00:20:57,676 --> 00:20:59,219 {\an8}- I won't. - [chuckles] 331 00:20:59,219 --> 00:21:03,348 [Richard clears throat] Okay. Well, uh, Miss Zott, everyone. Miss Zott. 332 00:21:06,977 --> 00:21:09,020 I can't stop thinking about you. 333 00:21:09,020 --> 00:21:12,691 - [whistling] - [audience giggling] 334 00:21:12,691 --> 00:21:16,194 [audience cheering, whistling] 335 00:21:16,194 --> 00:21:18,238 - [Richard] Ladies and gentlemen. Now to... - Honey. Hi. 336 00:21:18,238 --> 00:21:19,531 - [Richard] ...lift our spirits with... - You're here. 337 00:21:19,531 --> 00:21:21,866 - [sighs] Carol's fever broke, so I... - [Richard] ...a cheer, here is Personnel's... 338 00:21:21,866 --> 00:21:25,203 - ...thought I'd join you for some fun. - [Richard] ...Miss Fran Frask. [chuckles] 339 00:21:25,203 --> 00:21:32,252 ♪ 10,000 men of Harvard want victory Today... ♪ 340 00:21:33,169 --> 00:21:36,214 You know, some, uh, sex appeal wouldn't hurt, Zott. 341 00:21:36,882 --> 00:21:39,551 You've kind of been embarrassing the Amino Acids team. 342 00:21:40,135 --> 00:21:41,511 Uh, look at Jenny, huh? 343 00:21:41,511 --> 00:21:43,179 [chuckles] This is a great outfit. 344 00:21:43,179 --> 00:21:47,517 [Jenny] Thanks. My lab paid me ten dollars to show some skin during my talent. 345 00:21:47,517 --> 00:21:49,519 - [clicks tongue] Smart. - [Jenny chuckles] 346 00:21:49,519 --> 00:21:54,441 [Fran] ♪ ...of Harvard gained victory today ♪ 347 00:21:54,441 --> 00:21:56,026 [cheering] 348 00:21:56,026 --> 00:21:57,777 [Richard] Wow! How about that? 349 00:21:57,777 --> 00:21:59,487 Fran Frask, ladies and gentlemen. 350 00:21:59,487 --> 00:22:02,449 Thank you, Miss Frask. That was wonderful. My goodness. 351 00:22:02,449 --> 00:22:04,284 - I heard that hydrogen... - Nancy Donatti. [chuckles] 352 00:22:04,284 --> 00:22:06,161 - [Richard] ...and carbon went on a date... - [grunts, clears throat] 353 00:22:06,161 --> 00:22:07,579 - [Richard] ...and it went really well. - Hmm. 354 00:22:07,579 --> 00:22:09,539 - [Richard] They really bonded. - I heard a great deal about you. 355 00:22:09,539 --> 00:22:10,498 [chuckles] 356 00:22:10,498 --> 00:22:14,044 [stammers] Mrs. Donatti, is there-- is there benzaldehyde in your perfume? 357 00:22:14,044 --> 00:22:16,171 - [Richard continues speaking] - What? I-- I don't know. 358 00:22:16,171 --> 00:22:18,048 - [chuckles] It's from Paris. - [audience laughs] 359 00:22:18,048 --> 00:22:20,717 - Oh, God. Uh, my allergies. - Oh. Oh. 360 00:22:20,717 --> 00:22:22,260 [Richard] ...talents of Elizabeth Zott... 361 00:22:22,260 --> 00:22:23,762 - [Nancy] Huh. - [Richard] ...Miss Aminos! 362 00:22:25,138 --> 00:22:27,098 - [Calvin grunting] - [gasps] Oh. 363 00:22:27,098 --> 00:22:30,352 - [retching, coughing] - [people gasping] 364 00:22:30,352 --> 00:22:33,730 - [Elizabeth] Oh, my goodness. - [groaning] 365 00:22:33,730 --> 00:22:35,315 - [coughing] - [Elizabeth] Dr. Evans? 366 00:22:36,107 --> 00:22:39,486 Oh, no. No. I need to go home. 367 00:22:39,486 --> 00:22:41,404 Correct, but you shouldn't drive in this condition. 368 00:22:41,404 --> 00:22:45,450 I don't drive. [clears throat] It's only seven miles. I'll-- I'll walk. 369 00:22:46,284 --> 00:22:47,619 All right. I'll take you then. 370 00:22:47,619 --> 00:22:51,373 - But you hate me. [wheezing] - Oh, for Christ's sake. 371 00:22:59,839 --> 00:23:04,469 [wheezing, coughing] 372 00:23:04,469 --> 00:23:07,764 - [groaning] - [Elizabeth] Okay, uh-- It's okay. 373 00:23:08,348 --> 00:23:09,766 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 374 00:23:09,766 --> 00:23:11,393 Please stop apologizing. 375 00:23:11,393 --> 00:23:13,770 It can't be helped. The glottis closes. 376 00:23:13,770 --> 00:23:16,648 The abdominal muscles clench, increasing pressure. 377 00:23:16,648 --> 00:23:18,149 The pyloric sphincter closes. 378 00:23:19,150 --> 00:23:20,777 - Only way out is upwards. - [stammers] No, I meant 379 00:23:20,777 --> 00:23:22,779 I'm sorry I called you a secretary. 380 00:23:23,572 --> 00:23:25,532 There's nothing wrong with being a secretary. 381 00:23:26,324 --> 00:23:29,244 [Calvin] No, of course not. But... [stammers] ...to-- to assume was-- 382 00:23:29,244 --> 00:23:34,457 was wrong and-- and buffoonish, and I-- [belches] Oh, God. 383 00:23:34,457 --> 00:23:38,169 - [Elizabeth] Let's get you inside. - [sighs, wheezes, coughs] 384 00:23:38,169 --> 00:23:40,255 - Oh, dear God. - [Elizabeth] Oh. Oh. 385 00:23:42,048 --> 00:23:44,134 [Calvin coughs, groans] 386 00:23:53,143 --> 00:23:54,603 You have nothing in your cupboards. 387 00:23:55,395 --> 00:23:57,522 Yeah, I-- I sometimes forget to eat. 388 00:24:00,442 --> 00:24:01,359 You have one fork. 389 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,153 I don't entertain. 390 00:24:05,530 --> 00:24:09,075 Hmm. Well, miracle of miracles, I found a kettle. 391 00:24:09,075 --> 00:24:12,245 Hey, I just-- I want to apologize once more for the other day. 392 00:24:12,245 --> 00:24:13,830 - I was, uh-- - I can't accept your apology. 393 00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:16,833 I-I would like to, but you don't know what you're apologizing for. 394 00:24:16,833 --> 00:24:18,835 And so the entire exercise is meaningless. 395 00:24:19,753 --> 00:24:21,421 Yes, I did borrow some of your ribose. 396 00:24:21,421 --> 00:24:24,257 Some of a very plentiful supply, if I might add. 397 00:24:24,257 --> 00:24:26,343 But you have all of the resources 398 00:24:26,343 --> 00:24:28,929 and the rapt attention of the entire scientific community, 399 00:24:29,429 --> 00:24:30,597 and you take it for granted. 400 00:24:31,097 --> 00:24:33,683 You must be intelligent, based upon your myriad of accomplishments. 401 00:24:33,683 --> 00:24:39,856 But you walk around like a-- like a-- like a paranoid, ungrateful, fragile man. 402 00:24:41,274 --> 00:24:46,363 So to respond to your comment earlier, I don't hate you. I just-- 403 00:24:48,031 --> 00:24:49,532 I don't like you. 404 00:24:54,037 --> 00:24:55,038 Thank you. 405 00:24:58,500 --> 00:25:01,127 Oh, I-- Uh, I have something for you. 406 00:25:04,631 --> 00:25:07,217 It's the only reason I came to the party tonight. 407 00:25:09,386 --> 00:25:10,387 To bring me ribose? 408 00:25:11,388 --> 00:25:12,973 You have your master's in chemistry. 409 00:25:14,391 --> 00:25:15,392 [Elizabeth] I do. 410 00:25:16,268 --> 00:25:18,270 You didn't want to pursue a PhD? 411 00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:21,856 It was a complicated situation. 412 00:25:24,859 --> 00:25:27,028 I'm sorry you didn't get to finish the competition. 413 00:25:27,028 --> 00:25:28,446 Oh, no. I'm not. 414 00:25:28,446 --> 00:25:30,198 [Calvin] What about the cash prize? 415 00:25:30,198 --> 00:25:31,950 - Blood money. - [kettle whistling] 416 00:25:42,335 --> 00:25:43,628 May I ask you a question? 417 00:25:44,963 --> 00:25:46,548 I can't promise I'll answer. 418 00:25:47,299 --> 00:25:50,802 What was your talent gonna be for the pageant? 419 00:25:53,263 --> 00:25:56,516 I was going to place a tomato in a bowl of boiling water. 420 00:25:57,642 --> 00:26:01,104 As you know, heat causes molecules to excite. 421 00:26:02,188 --> 00:26:05,108 The flesh of the tomato expands on the peel. 422 00:26:06,109 --> 00:26:09,696 Then I place it in a bowl of cold water for approximately 60 seconds, 423 00:26:09,696 --> 00:26:12,490 and the peel slides off easily. 424 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:16,161 You would have won. 425 00:26:20,081 --> 00:26:21,166 Good night, Dr. Evans. 426 00:26:27,923 --> 00:26:29,925 [panting] 427 00:26:32,177 --> 00:26:33,637 [parent] Watch for cars! 428 00:26:33,637 --> 00:26:35,180 - [child] Dr. Evans! - [panting] 429 00:26:38,350 --> 00:26:39,976 - Good morning. - Good morning. 430 00:26:40,477 --> 00:26:42,312 [child] What's your favorite color? Guess mine. 431 00:26:42,812 --> 00:26:45,815 Your favorite color? Hmm, that's hard. 432 00:26:45,815 --> 00:26:49,027 Let's see. I don't know. Aquamarine? 433 00:26:49,861 --> 00:26:51,071 [child] That's not a color. 434 00:26:51,613 --> 00:26:53,365 [Calvin] Well, color is phenomenological. 435 00:26:53,365 --> 00:26:55,867 [parent] Linda, can you come finish, please? 436 00:26:55,867 --> 00:26:57,202 [Calvin] Morning, Harriet. 437 00:26:57,202 --> 00:26:58,828 [Harriet] Morning, friend. 438 00:26:58,828 --> 00:27:00,705 [Calvin] Oh, these people are shameless. 439 00:27:00,705 --> 00:27:01,873 - [Harriet] Mmm. - [Calvin] Morning. 440 00:27:01,873 --> 00:27:04,459 [Harriet] More long-lost relatives looking for long-lost money? 441 00:27:04,459 --> 00:27:07,963 Mm-hmm. I never should have agreed to be on the cover of Scientific American. 442 00:27:07,963 --> 00:27:09,256 Ah, once again, 443 00:27:09,256 --> 00:27:12,425 same woman claiming to be my mother every couple of weeks like clockwork. 444 00:27:12,425 --> 00:27:15,929 If your real mother was alive, she'd be proud you did that cover. 445 00:27:16,513 --> 00:27:17,889 [exhales deeply] What's all this? 446 00:27:18,473 --> 00:27:21,768 {\an8}They wanna connect the 10 Freeway from downtown all the way to Santa Monica. 447 00:27:21,768 --> 00:27:23,812 Bulldoze right through our backyard. 448 00:27:23,812 --> 00:27:25,105 But people live here. 449 00:27:25,105 --> 00:27:26,898 Now, question is, which people? 450 00:27:28,358 --> 00:27:30,110 {\an8}Stop it. You're doing it wrong. 451 00:27:30,110 --> 00:27:32,862 {\an8}Linda, sweetie, it's okay. Just let him play. 452 00:27:33,446 --> 00:27:37,951 Uh, you mind watching them again for me next Tuesday? I have a committee meeting. 453 00:27:37,951 --> 00:27:39,953 - Of course. Of course. - Thank you. 454 00:27:45,584 --> 00:27:47,919 [Richard] Miss Zott, can I have a word with you? 455 00:27:51,256 --> 00:27:52,757 Could you please keep the door open? 456 00:27:52,757 --> 00:27:56,303 Your little stunt at the pageant made the whole Aminos department look foolish. 457 00:27:57,846 --> 00:28:02,183 As your supervisor, your behavior reflects poorly on me. 458 00:28:04,895 --> 00:28:08,148 This is not how I run my department. I expect a better attitude. 459 00:28:09,774 --> 00:28:11,359 Embarrass me again and you're done. 460 00:28:16,865 --> 00:28:18,867 [breathing shakily] 461 00:28:46,728 --> 00:28:48,230 [timer ticking] 462 00:28:53,151 --> 00:28:55,153 [people chattering] 463 00:29:04,246 --> 00:29:05,288 May I join you? 464 00:29:06,957 --> 00:29:08,124 You may. 465 00:29:12,254 --> 00:29:13,255 You made that? 466 00:29:14,506 --> 00:29:17,342 Would you like to try some? I assume you haven't eaten all day. 467 00:29:17,342 --> 00:29:20,554 Oh, no, no. I have-- I have a sleeve of saltines in my desk. 468 00:29:21,263 --> 00:29:23,682 Hmm. You must be very constipated. 469 00:29:28,853 --> 00:29:29,854 Thank you. 470 00:29:33,650 --> 00:29:36,820 Mmm. Wow. That's-- 471 00:29:37,737 --> 00:29:41,199 I've never had, uh-- That's perfect. 472 00:29:42,576 --> 00:29:44,995 It's not perfect, but it has the potential to be. 473 00:29:45,579 --> 00:29:46,955 This is my 78th attempt. 474 00:29:48,331 --> 00:29:49,708 My current focus is cheese. 475 00:29:51,418 --> 00:29:52,377 - Cheese? - Mmm. 476 00:29:52,878 --> 00:29:56,464 At about 92 degrees, the solid milk fat in the cheese liquefies, 477 00:29:56,464 --> 00:30:00,010 and the bonds holding together the casein proteins break. But the melt isn't smooth. 478 00:30:00,010 --> 00:30:01,177 It isn't? 479 00:30:01,177 --> 00:30:04,431 No. Which is why I've been experimenting with sodium citrate. 480 00:30:04,431 --> 00:30:06,308 The sodium substitutes for some of the calcium 481 00:30:06,308 --> 00:30:09,352 that's causing the proteins to cling, so when the cheese heats-- 482 00:30:09,352 --> 00:30:12,022 Proteins separate from each other, acting as emulsifiers, 483 00:30:12,522 --> 00:30:15,567 strengthening the emulsion by holding water and fat together. 484 00:30:16,192 --> 00:30:17,027 Precisely. 485 00:30:17,027 --> 00:30:22,198 And you needed my ribose to perfect your lasagna recipe? 486 00:30:22,198 --> 00:30:25,619 No. Lasagna is my dinner. I needed your ribose for my research. 487 00:30:26,620 --> 00:30:27,704 Oh. 488 00:30:29,039 --> 00:30:31,583 Ninety-nine percent of the human body is made up of carbon, 489 00:30:31,583 --> 00:30:35,086 hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, calcium, phosphorus, with a few ions thrown in. 490 00:30:35,086 --> 00:30:37,839 But how did we get to this level of complexity here on Earth? 491 00:30:37,839 --> 00:30:40,759 The two of us sitting here at this table, talking, 492 00:30:40,759 --> 00:30:44,512 going from a soup of atoms and small molecules to now with-- 493 00:30:46,056 --> 00:30:47,849 That is what I'm trying to uncover. 494 00:30:47,849 --> 00:30:49,601 Abiogenesis. 495 00:30:49,601 --> 00:30:51,269 You're interested in it? 496 00:30:51,937 --> 00:30:53,021 Keeps me up at night. 497 00:30:56,650 --> 00:30:57,651 Me too. 498 00:31:08,328 --> 00:31:10,664 I've read your past papers, but what are you working on currently? 499 00:31:10,664 --> 00:31:14,793 Uh... [clicks tongue] ...I'm doing exploratory research on-- 500 00:31:14,793 --> 00:31:18,421 on natural enzyme identification, isolation, classification. 501 00:31:18,922 --> 00:31:20,590 It's-- That smells good. 502 00:31:20,590 --> 00:31:22,926 - Is that mashed potatoes? - [Elizabeth] Oh. Mmm. 503 00:31:24,261 --> 00:31:25,262 Excuse me. 504 00:31:26,096 --> 00:31:28,682 Mmm. Man alive. 505 00:31:42,237 --> 00:31:44,489 No, no, no. That-That doesn't make any sense, 'cause that-- 506 00:31:44,489 --> 00:31:46,324 that doesn't explain how you closed the ring. 507 00:31:46,324 --> 00:31:48,910 Sure. But when a polyphosphoric acid is applied, 508 00:31:48,910 --> 00:31:52,789 it creates phosphate esters with a high monoester content. See? 509 00:31:55,584 --> 00:31:58,378 Mmm. That's a pretty good point. 510 00:32:01,548 --> 00:32:02,549 [timer dings] 511 00:32:08,305 --> 00:32:10,515 It is a bit of a chicken and egg situation, 512 00:32:10,515 --> 00:32:12,058 but if you consider Occam's razor, 513 00:32:12,058 --> 00:32:16,187 would nature choose a system that is more complex to create something less complex? 514 00:32:16,187 --> 00:32:18,356 Hmm. So RNA world theory? 515 00:32:18,356 --> 00:32:21,192 Miss Zott, I'm gonna be needing one of your special cups of joe 516 00:32:21,192 --> 00:32:22,444 to get me through this afternoon. 517 00:32:22,444 --> 00:32:23,778 Right. 518 00:32:23,778 --> 00:32:26,114 [Elizabeth] Of course, I would be much further along in my research 519 00:32:26,114 --> 00:32:28,992 if I wasn't making excellent coffee for mediocre chemists. 520 00:32:28,992 --> 00:32:31,536 [stammers] You're on the verge of a major scientific breakthrough. 521 00:32:31,536 --> 00:32:33,872 - You need to talk to Donatti. - I did. He said no. 522 00:32:34,998 --> 00:32:36,374 That doesn't make any sense. Why? 523 00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:38,293 Sex discrimination. 524 00:32:39,502 --> 00:32:40,587 What? 525 00:32:40,587 --> 00:32:43,381 Well, also politics and favoritism and general unfairness. 526 00:32:43,381 --> 00:32:45,008 But yes, mostly sex discrimination. 527 00:32:45,842 --> 00:32:48,178 I don't understand. Why would anyone discriminate based on 528 00:32:48,178 --> 00:32:51,097 something as intellectually non-determinative as gender? 529 00:32:51,097 --> 00:32:55,268 Calvin, how many female scientists can you name? 530 00:32:56,228 --> 00:32:57,229 Madame Curie. 531 00:32:58,563 --> 00:33:01,733 Exactly. Do you think that's just by happenstance? 532 00:33:03,860 --> 00:33:07,239 I don't know. I hadn't considered it until now. 533 00:33:07,239 --> 00:33:11,326 Of course. You haven't had to, because people fully appreciate your potential. 534 00:33:12,244 --> 00:33:13,078 This is me. 535 00:33:14,829 --> 00:33:17,040 [sighs] Raise your hand if you'd like coffee. 536 00:33:24,714 --> 00:33:26,508 - [Calvin] Okay. I've been thinking. - Oh. 537 00:33:27,008 --> 00:33:30,053 My enzyme research would benefit from your molecular synthesis work. 538 00:33:30,053 --> 00:33:32,931 So I can talk to Donatti, tell him to let you work for me, 539 00:33:32,931 --> 00:33:35,183 and then you'd be able to focus entirely on your own research. 540 00:33:35,183 --> 00:33:38,019 No, Donatti would never hire me as a chemist. Only a lab tech. 541 00:33:38,019 --> 00:33:41,731 Technically. But you-you'd be doing independent research, actual chemistry. 542 00:33:41,731 --> 00:33:43,233 You would have free rein. 543 00:33:43,233 --> 00:33:45,277 But I'd be a lab tech to everyone else. 544 00:33:45,277 --> 00:33:48,738 Obviously. In a perfect world, you-- you wouldn't need help from anyone. 545 00:33:48,738 --> 00:33:50,907 But, as you pointed out very lucidly, 546 00:33:50,907 --> 00:33:53,243 you are working within a system that is pervasively unfair. 547 00:33:53,243 --> 00:33:55,579 For you to operate as if it were fair, that's-- [chuckles] 548 00:33:55,579 --> 00:33:58,039 Can you explain to me how that makes any sense at all? 549 00:33:58,039 --> 00:34:00,375 I'll-- I'll treat you as an equal. 550 00:34:00,375 --> 00:34:02,460 Hell, you're one of the smartest people in this lab. 551 00:34:03,003 --> 00:34:06,006 Calvin, it doesn't matter if I work with you or for you. 552 00:34:06,006 --> 00:34:09,300 People will view the work as yours. I'll never be seen as a scientist. 553 00:34:09,300 --> 00:34:11,344 When you publish as lead scientist, they will. 554 00:34:16,432 --> 00:34:19,436 [stammers] Are you wearing pajamas? 555 00:34:20,103 --> 00:34:24,441 [stammers] No. That's my, uh, running gear. I run to and from work. 556 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,110 What does that mean, you run? 557 00:34:27,110 --> 00:34:29,863 I run, you know, for exercise. 558 00:34:29,863 --> 00:34:32,073 I know people find it odd, but it helps quiet my mind. 559 00:34:32,073 --> 00:34:33,157 Oh. 560 00:34:35,492 --> 00:34:36,995 - Think about my offer. - [stammers] Oh. 561 00:34:43,043 --> 00:34:44,628 Oh. Calvin? 562 00:34:47,005 --> 00:34:48,006 Yes. 563 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:50,842 Yes? 564 00:34:51,885 --> 00:34:53,053 Yes. 565 00:34:53,053 --> 00:34:58,225 [chuckles, stammers] I-- I sh-- uh, shower in my lab, 566 00:34:58,225 --> 00:34:59,976 so just knock before entering. 567 00:35:01,811 --> 00:35:03,355 Rest assured, I will knock. 568 00:35:06,316 --> 00:35:07,234 Whoo-hoo. [chuckles] 569 00:35:12,197 --> 00:35:15,867 There is protocol, Miss Zott. When you don't follow protocol, it falls on me. 570 00:35:15,867 --> 00:35:18,078 Do you have any idea the blowback that I got 571 00:35:18,078 --> 00:35:19,996 when you left the pageant halfway through? 572 00:35:20,497 --> 00:35:22,165 I am sympathetic, Miss Frask, 573 00:35:22,165 --> 00:35:24,251 but I'd really like to stay focused on my request. 574 00:35:25,460 --> 00:35:26,711 It's a bad idea. 575 00:35:26,711 --> 00:35:29,589 If you need a lab tech, there's plenty of good fellas for you to choose from. 576 00:35:29,589 --> 00:35:32,592 [chuckles] Oh, boy, this is s-sex discrimination. 577 00:35:32,592 --> 00:35:34,052 I don't even know what that means. 578 00:35:34,052 --> 00:35:36,680 Miss Frask, I did not take this decision lightly. 579 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,265 His intentions are purely professional. 580 00:35:38,265 --> 00:35:41,184 Oh, honey, there's no such thing as a professional relationship 581 00:35:41,184 --> 00:35:42,352 between a man and a woman. 582 00:35:42,352 --> 00:35:44,020 I didn't think you'd be as foolish as that. 583 00:35:44,020 --> 00:35:47,232 There's a reason he's dead set on you, and I don't think it's your CV. 584 00:35:47,232 --> 00:35:50,652 How many women chemists can you name, aside from Madame Curie? 585 00:35:50,652 --> 00:35:53,405 - She's unqualified. - I didn't come here asking for permission. 586 00:35:53,405 --> 00:35:56,449 I came here to make sure that the paperwork was filled out correctly. 587 00:35:57,117 --> 00:36:01,705 [Donatti] Evans, you walk around here like you own the place, which is fine. 588 00:36:01,705 --> 00:36:04,124 As long as the Remsen funding keeps flowing. 589 00:36:04,624 --> 00:36:06,918 But as soon as the money dries up, you're gone. 590 00:36:07,627 --> 00:36:10,630 We are colleagues. Nothing more, nothing less. 591 00:36:12,132 --> 00:36:13,550 No, dear. You're his lab tech. 592 00:36:13,550 --> 00:36:15,802 And I've seen this before. Men are men. 593 00:36:15,802 --> 00:36:18,471 He will change his mind. And then what? 594 00:36:29,399 --> 00:36:31,151 Everything good with Miss Frask? 595 00:36:31,151 --> 00:36:33,278 Boilerplate. And Donatti? 596 00:36:33,278 --> 00:36:34,779 [stammers] A breeze. 597 00:36:36,364 --> 00:36:37,657 Oh, I prefer the door open. 598 00:36:39,993 --> 00:36:40,911 Okay, sure. 599 00:36:44,748 --> 00:36:48,335 So, I organized our equipment in a way that a sane person might appreciate, 600 00:36:48,335 --> 00:36:50,170 and I swept up the saltine crumbs. 601 00:36:50,712 --> 00:36:51,630 Not because I'm a woman, 602 00:36:51,630 --> 00:36:55,050 but because I can't imagine a worse substance to be in a chemistry lab. 603 00:36:55,050 --> 00:36:56,134 [Calvin] Hmm. 604 00:36:56,676 --> 00:36:58,345 The underwear is your responsibility. 605 00:36:58,929 --> 00:37:00,931 ["Top Flight" playing] 606 00:37:16,738 --> 00:37:17,656 [music volume lowers] 607 00:37:17,656 --> 00:37:19,532 [Calvin] Did you move the graduated cylinders? 608 00:37:20,242 --> 00:37:23,036 Uh, I thought the center table was more equidistant. 609 00:37:29,125 --> 00:37:30,210 [music volume increases] 610 00:37:31,628 --> 00:37:34,464 Oh, how can you work when the music is so loud? 611 00:37:34,464 --> 00:37:37,968 It's the only way I can think. You moved the spatulas too? 612 00:37:44,975 --> 00:37:47,435 You've never shared space with someone, have you? 613 00:37:49,145 --> 00:37:50,605 I like things the way I like them. 614 00:37:52,649 --> 00:37:53,650 [sniffs] 615 00:37:57,028 --> 00:37:58,280 [music volume lowers] 616 00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:02,325 Calvin, it's not that I don't like music. 617 00:38:02,325 --> 00:38:08,039 I just don't like this music. It's, um, cluttered. 618 00:38:08,039 --> 00:38:10,792 Oh, that's what I like about it. [stammers] It helps me think. 619 00:38:10,792 --> 00:38:12,627 You never know what's gonna come around the corner. 620 00:38:12,627 --> 00:38:15,922 Oh, a-- a trumpet, huh? Here comes the drums. It's-- It's-- It's exciting. 621 00:38:16,590 --> 00:38:18,049 Noise. [chuckles, stammers] 622 00:38:18,049 --> 00:38:21,636 Or I just... [stammers] ...appreciate something different. 623 00:38:21,636 --> 00:38:25,307 Um. Predictability. Formulaic structure. 624 00:38:26,641 --> 00:38:30,020 I like the way the chords move, change, build upon one another, 625 00:38:30,020 --> 00:38:33,732 like basic components into molecules. 626 00:38:34,316 --> 00:38:35,317 [Calvin chuckles] 627 00:38:38,403 --> 00:38:39,237 What? 628 00:38:56,671 --> 00:38:58,673 [people chattering] 629 00:39:09,893 --> 00:39:12,354 You're late. I already started the first trial. 630 00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:17,734 I, uh, thought we could alternate every day. 631 00:39:21,947 --> 00:39:23,156 Compromise. 632 00:39:24,241 --> 00:39:27,244 ["Feudin' And Fightin'" playing] 633 00:39:34,251 --> 00:39:35,627 What do we have here? 634 00:39:35,627 --> 00:39:37,712 [music continues] 635 00:39:54,312 --> 00:39:56,314 ["Mr. B. Pops" playing] 636 00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:25,302 ["Feudin' And Fightin'" playing] 637 00:40:40,650 --> 00:40:42,652 ["Texas Waltz" playing] 638 00:41:12,349 --> 00:41:14,100 [music ends] 639 00:41:22,817 --> 00:41:24,819 [phone ringing] 640 00:41:28,907 --> 00:41:31,534 - Zott residence. - Hi. It's Calvin. 641 00:41:32,744 --> 00:41:34,412 Calvin Evans. Your-- Your lab partner. 642 00:41:35,705 --> 00:41:37,624 Oh. [stammers] Calvin, it's almost 8:00 p.m. 643 00:41:38,124 --> 00:41:41,044 Yeah, I just-- I can't stop thinking about the last thing you said 644 00:41:41,044 --> 00:41:43,797 about the basic structure of pyrimidines and purines, 645 00:41:43,797 --> 00:41:47,092 and it led me somewhere I had previously dismissed. 646 00:41:47,092 --> 00:41:48,260 Nuclein independence? 647 00:41:48,802 --> 00:41:49,678 [Calvin] Yes. 648 00:41:49,678 --> 00:41:51,513 [chuckles] Hold on. Let me grab my notebook. 649 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,936 I was actually just jotting something down earlier 650 00:41:57,936 --> 00:42:00,272 about Miescher's theory on the high phosphorus content of-- 651 00:42:02,232 --> 00:42:04,317 Oh. Oh, hold on. 652 00:42:05,318 --> 00:42:06,987 - Oh, shit. - Elizabeth? 653 00:42:08,029 --> 00:42:12,659 Shit. Um-- I have to go. 654 00:42:12,659 --> 00:42:16,121 - What happened? - I-- I just burnt my dinner. [sighs] 655 00:42:16,121 --> 00:42:19,457 Oh, my goodness. [chuckles] I thought it was something serious. 656 00:42:19,457 --> 00:42:21,710 Well, this is serious. I don't burn things. 657 00:42:21,710 --> 00:42:24,170 Really? Never? You-- You've never burnt anything? 658 00:42:24,170 --> 00:42:27,340 No. I-- I wasn't concentrating. 659 00:42:27,841 --> 00:42:30,510 Well, sometimes mistakes can be a good thing. 660 00:42:31,094 --> 00:42:34,931 They can lead us to what we don't expect. [chuckles] 661 00:42:35,432 --> 00:42:36,474 I have to go. Good night. 662 00:42:36,975 --> 00:42:38,310 [Calvin speaks indistinctly] 663 00:42:45,275 --> 00:42:46,276 Okay. 664 00:42:50,655 --> 00:42:52,657 [breathing heavily] 665 00:43:00,540 --> 00:43:01,541 Oh, man. 666 00:43:06,338 --> 00:43:08,340 [breathing heavily] That's it. 667 00:43:16,973 --> 00:43:20,894 [grunts, breathing heavily] I had an epiphany on my run. 668 00:43:22,187 --> 00:43:23,855 Could you please open the door? 669 00:43:23,855 --> 00:43:25,106 - You inspired this. - Calvin. 670 00:43:25,106 --> 00:43:27,150 - It's-- It's like you said. Occam's razor. - Calvin. 671 00:43:27,150 --> 00:43:30,946 What if nucleic acids can actually encode far more complex molecules? 672 00:43:30,946 --> 00:43:33,031 - Like, say, a-- - Calvin, I s-- I said, the door! 673 00:43:33,615 --> 00:43:34,574 [Calvin] Elizabeth. 674 00:43:36,201 --> 00:43:37,535 [breathes shakily] 675 00:43:37,535 --> 00:43:41,790 Elizabeth. [stammers] Is everything okay? Did I do something? [stammers] 676 00:43:44,167 --> 00:43:45,168 This was a mistake. 677 00:43:45,877 --> 00:43:47,045 I don't understand. 678 00:43:52,926 --> 00:43:53,927 [timer dings] 679 00:43:53,927 --> 00:43:57,556 The Maillard reaction quickly browned the meat before placing it in the oven. 680 00:43:57,556 --> 00:43:59,224 Now, let's see the fruits of our labor. 681 00:44:05,188 --> 00:44:06,731 [studio audience murmuring, gasping] 682 00:44:08,316 --> 00:44:09,192 Oh, my God. 683 00:44:15,031 --> 00:44:16,199 - [gasps] - [audience murmuring] 684 00:44:16,199 --> 00:44:19,035 - Walter, should we cut to commercial? - No. I don't know. No. 685 00:44:21,746 --> 00:44:23,373 That was not the intended outcome. 686 00:44:31,298 --> 00:44:35,468 In science, you endeavor to control every variable of your experiment. 687 00:44:36,219 --> 00:44:39,472 The temperature in your lab, the number of contaminants, 688 00:44:40,181 --> 00:44:42,767 the correct calibration for each piece of equipment. 689 00:44:45,145 --> 00:44:48,148 Sometimes you can't count on a formula. 690 00:44:48,982 --> 00:44:51,484 Sometimes you can't control each variable. 691 00:44:52,819 --> 00:44:53,820 Sometimes-- 692 00:44:56,448 --> 00:44:57,449 Many times... 693 00:45:00,076 --> 00:45:01,494 things just turn out messy. 694 00:45:05,081 --> 00:45:08,168 Sometimes you will burn the lasagna. 695 00:45:15,050 --> 00:45:17,052 [breathes shakily] 696 00:45:22,140 --> 00:45:23,725 So I guess it's leftovers tonight. 697 00:45:25,185 --> 00:45:28,271 Children, set the table. Your mother needs a moment for herself.