She's here.
Hey, ladies. I'm sorry. The audience is full for today.
Please come back tomorrow.
- Baking dish? - The left holds more heat.
Live in two. I need you in the chair.
Did you get the sodium chloride?
- Of course. - Roma or San Marzano?
Roma. Thank you, James.
You never answered my question
about the Presto sponsorship. And I know how you feel about--
I will start the show with it, Walter.
Really? You're not just saying that?
Oh, good Lord. Thank you.
Cans are on the counter.
Don't forget to smile from time to time. Have a great show. Bye.
- What kind of salt did she want? - Uniodized. I went with kosher.
It's all gotta be perfect. Labels out.
It's all in the cue cards.
- Don't worry, Walter. - She's got it.
Welcome, ladies. The show's about to start.
Big smiles. Energy. Happy.
Energy. Big smiles. All of you.
And rolling.
We're live in five, four, three...
Welcome, viewers.
My name is Elizabeth Zott, and this is Supper at Six.
See this?
Presto Soups. Cooks so quick, it's done in a presto.
- That's my line. - It is a real time-saver.
And that's because it's full of chemicals. And not the good kind.
There will be a surprise indeed.
Feed enough of it to your loved ones, and they'll die off,
saving you tons of time
because you won't have to feed them anymore.
Today we will be making a fan-favorite, lasagna,
but we will be testing a new variable.
Caring for loved ones takes work.
Real work.
Anyone who tells you differently does not cook dinner
for a family of five every night.
So let's make something hearty. Let's make something delicious.
Let's make something that keeps our family alive
and gives us leftovers for a week.
Let's get started, shall we?
Miss Zott?
Good morning, Miss Frask.
I hope you'll sign up for the Little Miss Hastings Pageant.
You know, your lab is in between secretaries,
and your fellas really could use a contestant.
I am not a secretary.
Well, you know, lab techs can participate too.
It's any female support staff.
Thank you, but pageants are not my idea of fun.
What is?
Well, I have recently become fascinated by archaebacteria,
whose cell membranes are ether-link foster lipids as opposed to bacteria,
whose cell membrane are ester-link foster lipids.
I also like to cook.
Let me know if you change your mind.
I won't, but thank you.
Now, if you don't mind,
I have a lot to clean up before the chemists arrive.
I'm gonna put you down as a "maybe."
I'm not to be disturbed!
Dr. Evans? It's Dr. Donatti.
One minute.
You're not dressed.
Well, in some cultures, I would be considered overdressed.
You missed our monthly board meeting again.
Because I've been hard at work.
Everyone is anxiously awaiting your results.
And everyone will have to wait.
You will be ready to submit your proposal
for the Remsen Foundation grant, right?
Because those grants keep the lights on around here.
I can think of a few lights that would be best left off.
Now, if you and your foot will please excuse me.
You do understand that I'm your boss, right?
Fire me.
Honey, can you clean this up for me?
And bring me those beakers I asked for?
And, sweetheart, I could use another cup of joe
when you're done with that.
It'll be a few minutes. You could go to the cafeteria.
But it's not your special beaker brew.
- Zott? - Yes, Dr. Powers?
I've run it three times. What am I missing?
You're not seeing conversion of the carbonyl group into an imine group.
Right, I just--
You forgot the acid catalyst.
Thanks. I got it.
Gentlemen, can you believe this shit?
I don't get it.
What does Evans have that any of us don't have?
He's a shoo-in for the Nobel.
The Nobel Prize is overrated.
It says, "Calvin Evans is the Richard Feynman of chemistry."
Doesn't give him an excuse to hoard all our supplies.
How much ribose does one guy need?
Well, Evans better watch his back
because young Boryweitz is coming for his grant this year.
Good luck with that, buddy.
Looks like it's a rip-off of Vauquelin's research.
- I'm building on his work. - An homage.
From 1806.
Hand to God, you got a better chance of winning
the Little Miss Hastings Pageant.
- Right. - Well, that is unless
- Zott here decides to enter. Huh, boys? - Come on, sweetie.
Was it something I said?
- So I said to Robert-- - Fran now calls him Robert.
I said to Dr. Donatti that, you know,
this pageant needs to be sophisticated, needs to be elevated. It needs pizzazz.
What it needs is an open bar.
- I'm not a miracle worker. - Yes, you are.
Well, you know what? I might be.
Because, I'm excited to say that he agreed
to an evening gown category,
before talent and swimsuit, and a cash prize.
Every day. Dr. Evans and his bag of nuts.
How can any man survive on that?
And he runs.
Runs where?
He just runs to run. He's very peculiar.
And he never talks to anyone.
Hey. Donatti put a freeze on overtime. So don't stay too late, or it's my tail.
- I'm right behind you. - Okay.
Shit.
Miss Zott, I supervise over a hundred of the country's finest chemists,
who in turn generate groundbreaking work.
They use equipment worth thousands of dollars to generate said work.
And so when I hear that a lab tech is using our equipment
after hours without proper supervision, it gives me pause.
Sir, I can explain. I have my master's in chemistry from UCLA,
where I studied cellular metabolism of nucleic acids.
With all that said, I have been working in my off-hours, never on the clock,
conducting my own experiments on abiogenesis.
I am synthesizing simple, small molecules into nucleotides and nucleic acids.
My research is very promising, and I intend to submit for the Remsen.
Young lady, setting aside the fact that you're using lab equipment
without proper supervision of a chemist--
I am a chemist.
Our chemists have PhDs.
I could never put the Hastings name on the submission of a lab tech
that's proudly waving around her master's from UCLA.
- I was top of my class... - Miss Zott--
...and the work will speak for itself.
You are just not smart enough.
Miss Zott, I wasn't finished.
What's this I hear about you not participating
in the Little Miss Hastings Pageant?
I wasn't aware that it was compulsory.
It is not compulsory.
It is part of the culture here.
I would suggest that you find yourself
a little more of the Hastings spirit,
if you'd like to keep your employment here.
Now you may go.
A smile once in a while wouldn't kill you.
Miss Zott.
Miss Zott?
I hear you're joining us for the pageant.
- How did you-- - So glad you had a change of heart.
So I don't know if you've heard,
but there's an evening gown category this year.
And also bikinis aren't mandatory.
Feel free to wear a one-piece, if that makes you feel more comfortable.
Is now a good time for a photo?
Smile.
There she is. The thief.
I beg your pardon?
I have been through every department, interrogated dozens of chemists--
including ones from this very lab--
who said that you, Miss Zott, have a history of ruffling feathers.
And perhaps more relevant,
have an arrogant attitude of self-importance.
Have you heard yourself speak?
So you don't deny it?
What would a secretary even have to do with ribose
aside from sell it on the black market?
- I am a chemist. - And a fibber to boot.
Oh, yes. Because there's such high demand on the black market for monosaccharide!
This is very disappointing! Very-- I'm disappointed.
One: My lab was unlocked last night,
so I want someone to speak to janitorial and have new locks placed on the door.
Two: I have calculated the cost of the missing ribose,
and I wanna make it clear, that will not be coming out of my budget.
Three: I want my floors sterilized.
At least one person entered without my authorization.
And with my allergies, I cannot risk any contaminants. You understand?
I'll take care of it, Dr. Evans.
And lastly, I would like the secretary responsible held accountable.
I'll have her fired.
Well, just a formal reprimand will suffice.
I'm shocked that it was one of my secretaries, honestly.
You said it was in the aminos lab?
So that's Mary Ann Rogers.
No.
Her name was Elizabeth Zott.
She's not a secretary. She's a lab tech.
Miss Zott should know better. She has her master's.
- Her master's? In what? - Chemistry.
Will you be joining us for the Little Miss Hastings Pageant this year?
'Cause it would mean a lot to company morale to see you there.
Evans? Did not expect to see you here.
- Right. - It's like seeing Halley's Comet.
Come have a drink with me and the fellas, huh?
Or no one will believe me.
- What's your poison? - Cyanide or aflatoxin.
You're too much, huh?
Boys, say hi to the guy right here.
- The man, the myth, the legend. - Anthony Powers. Hi.
Mr. Remsen himself, I guess, huh?
What are you working on right now?
Elizabeth. Hi. There you are.
Come follow me. Come stand with us pageant girls.
- You look great. - Thank you.
It took me forever to get ready today.
- Girls, Elizabeth's here. - Hello.
I'll be right back. The Swedish meatballs are running a bit low.
They're a real hit.
Fran did such a great job.
So great.
I love your scent. What is that?
Black currant berries with floral tones of roses.
I'm a classic kind of girl. Chanel No. 5.
Elizabeth, what scent do you wear?
I don't. In the lab, your sense of smell alerts you to potential dangers.
And I'm already at a deficit due to a hydrochloric acid accident
when I was an undergrad.
I singed most of the cilia in my nostrils,
but thankfully they restored themselves over time.
So I'm not taking any more chances.
Calvin Evans is here.
You're sweet on him, aren't you?
Smart, well-to-do, famous. What's not to like?
Try talking to him.
Well, two more of these, and I'm going to ask him to vote for me.
Excuse me.
I'm just gonna stand here with you.
All right.
You shouldn't let the other chemists pick on you so much.
It's just fellas being fellas.
Male primate behavior.
Please, everyone, take your seats. Take your seats.
Pageant contestants, can I get you backstage?
Thank you.
Welcome. I'm Fran Frask...
- Miss Zott, I have wanted to-- - ...acting head of Personnel.
And I couldn't be more excited to welcome you
to the eighth annual Little Miss Hastings Pageant,
where one lucky woman will take home the crown
worn by last year's winner Colleen Murphy.
Yes. Yeah, she looks great. And a $25 cash prize.
Thank you, Colleen.
I will also be joining the competition this year.
But feel no pressure to vote for me,
unless you care about getting your vacation days approved.
I'm kidding.
And without further ado, I'd like to introduce tonight's emcee,
Dr. Richard Price.
Thank you, Miss Frask.
Wonderful. What a night. Pretty good turnout tonight.
Okay. Wait.
Hey, before I get started, just a quick question from management.
Did anyone here lose an electron?
You really gotta keep an ion it.
Ion?
- Everybody got it? - Ions.
Okay. Folks, let's get started with the show.
Now, please keep in mind, these ladies have worked very, very hard.
So please, everybody, let's all make like a proton and stay positive.
All right. And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for.
I give you your Little Miss Hastings 1951 contestants.
Here they are. Fantastic.
Aren't they charming? Look at that.
Miss Synthetics, what would you make your future husband for dessert?
Well, I'd start with two scoops of vanilla ice cream,
and I'd squeeze chocolate sauce all over them.
And you'll have to vote for me if you wanna hear how I apply the whipped cream.
Okay.
Miss Zott, where would be your fantasy honeymoon location?
I don't intend to get married.
Ye-- Okay, yes. But if you did?
I won't.
Okay. Well, Miss Zott, everyone. Miss Zott.
I can't stop thinking about you.
- Ladies and gentlemen. Now to... - Honey. Hi.
- ...lift our spirits with... - You're here.
- ...a cheer, here is Personnel's... - Carol's fever broke, so I
- thought I'd join you for some fun. - ...Miss Fran Frask.
10,000 men of Harvard want victory Today...
You know, some sex appeal wouldn't hurt, Zott.
You've kind of been embarrassing the Amino Acids team.
Look at Jenny, huh?
This is a great outfit.
Thanks. My lab paid me ten dollars to show some skin during my talent.
Smart.
...of Harvard gained victory today
Wow! How about that?
Fran Frask, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, Miss Frask. That was wonderful. My goodness.
- I heard that hydrogen... - Nancy Donatti.
...and carbon went on a date
and it went really well.
- They really bonded. - I heard a great deal about you.
Mrs. Donatti, is there benzaldehyde in your perfume?
What? I don't know.
It's from Paris.
Oh, God. My allergies.
...talents of Elizabeth Zott, Miss Aminos!
Oh, my goodness.
Dr. Evans?
Oh, no. No. I need to go home.
Correct, but you shouldn't drive in this condition.
I don't drive. It's only seven miles. I'll walk.
All right. I'll take you then.
- But you hate me. - Oh, for Christ's sake.
Okay, it's okay.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Please stop apologizing.
It can't be helped. The glottis closes.
The abdominal muscles clench, increasing pressure.
The pyloric sphincter closes.
- Only way out is upwards. - No, I meant
I'm sorry I called you a secretary.
There's nothing wrong with being a secretary.
No, of course not. But, to assume was--
was wrong and buffoonish, and I-- Oh, God.
Let's get you inside.
Oh, dear God.
You have nothing in your cupboards.
Yeah, I sometimes forget to eat.
You have one fork.
I don't entertain.
Well, miracle of miracles, I found a kettle.
Hey, I just-- I want to apologize once more for the other day.
- I was-- - I can't accept your apology.
I would like to, but you don't know what you're apologizing for.
And so the entire exercise is meaningless.
Yes, I did borrow some of your ribose.
Some of a very plentiful supply, if I might add.
But you have all of the resources
and the rapt attention of the entire scientific community,
and you take it for granted.
You must be intelligent, based upon your myriad of accomplishments.
But you walk around like a paranoid, ungrateful, fragile man.
So to respond to your comment earlier, I don't hate you. I just--
I don't like you.
Thank you.
I have something for you.
It's the only reason I came to the party tonight.
To bring me ribose?
You have your master's in chemistry.
I do.
You didn't want to pursue a PhD?
It was a complicated situation.
I'm sorry you didn't get to finish the competition.
Oh, no. I'm not.
What about the cash prize?
Blood money.
May I ask you a question?
I can't promise I'll answer.
What was your talent gonna be for the pageant?
I was going to place a tomato in a bowl of boiling water.
As you know, heat causes molecules to excite.
The flesh of the tomato expands on the peel.
Then I place it in a bowl of cold water for approximately 60 seconds,
and the peel slides off easily.
You would have won.
Good night, Dr. Evans.
Watch for cars!
Dr. Evans!
- Good morning. - Good morning.
What's your favorite color? Guess mine.
Your favorite color? That's hard.
Let's see. I don't know. Aquamarine?
That's not a color.
Well, color is phenomenological.
Linda, can you come finish, please?
Morning, Harriet.
Morning, friend.
These people are shameless. Morning.
More long-lost relatives looking for long-lost money?
I never should have agreed to be on the cover of Scientific American.
Once again,
same woman claiming to be my mother every couple of weeks like clockwork.
If your real mother was alive, she'd be proud you did that cover.
What's all this?
They wanna connect the 10 Freeway from downtown all the way to Santa Monica.
Bulldoze right through our backyard.
But people live here.
Now, question is, which people?
Stop it. You're doing it wrong.
Linda, sweetie, it's okay. Just let him play.
You mind watching them again for me next Tuesday? I have a committee meeting.
- Of course. - Thank you.
Miss Zott, can I have a word with you?
Could you please keep the door open?
Your little stunt at the pageant made the whole Aminos department look foolish.
As your supervisor, your behavior reflects poorly on me.
This is not how I run my department. I expect a better attitude.
Embarrass me again and you're done.
May I join you?
You may.
You made that?
Would you like to try some? I assume you haven't eaten all day.
Oh, no. I have a sleeve of saltines in my desk.
You must be very constipated.
Thank you.
Wow. That's--
I've never had-- That's perfect.
It's not perfect, but it has the potential to be.
This is my 78th attempt.
My current focus is cheese.
Cheese?
At about 92 degrees, the solid milk fat in the cheese liquefies,
and the bonds holding together the casein proteins break. But the melt isn't smooth.
It isn't?
No. Which is why I've been experimenting with sodium citrate.
The sodium substitutes for some of the calcium
that's causing the proteins to cling, so when the cheese heats--
Proteins separate from each other, acting as emulsifiers,
strengthening the emulsion by holding water and fat together.
Precisely.
And you needed my ribose to perfect your lasagna recipe?
No. Lasagna is my dinner. I needed your ribose for my research.
Ninety-nine percent of the human body is made up of carbon,
hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, calcium, phosphorus, with a few ions thrown in.
But how did we get to this level of complexity here on Earth?
The two of us sitting here at this table, talking,
going from a soup of atoms and small molecules to now with--
That is what I'm trying to uncover.
Abiogenesis.
You're interested in it?
Keeps me up at night.
Me too.
I've read your past papers, but what are you working on currently?
I'm doing exploratory research on--
on natural enzyme identification, isolation, classification.
It's-- That smells good.
Is that mashed potatoes?
Excuse me.
Man alive.
No. That doesn't make any sense, 'cause that--
that doesn't explain how you closed the ring.
Sure. But when a polyphosphoric acid is applied,
it creates phosphate esters with a high monoester content. See?
That's a pretty good point.
It is a bit of a chicken and egg situation,
but if you consider Occam's razor,
would nature choose a system that is more complex to create something less complex?
So RNA world theory?
Miss Zott, I'm gonna be needing one of your special cups of joe
to get me through this afternoon.
Right.
Of course, I would be much further along in my research
if I wasn't making excellent coffee for mediocre chemists.
You're on the verge of a major scientific breakthrough.
- You need to talk to Donatti. - I did. He said no.
That doesn't make any sense. Why?
Sex discrimination.
What?
Well, also politics and favoritism and general unfairness.
But yes, mostly sex discrimination.
I don't understand. Why would anyone discriminate based on
something as intellectually non-determinative as gender?
Calvin, how many female scientists can you name?
Madame Curie.
Exactly. Do you think that's just by happenstance?
I don't know. I hadn't considered it until now.
Of course. You haven't had to, because people fully appreciate your potential.
This is me.
Raise your hand if you'd like coffee.
Okay. I've been thinking.
My enzyme research would benefit from your molecular synthesis work.
So I can talk to Donatti, tell him to let you work for me,
and then you'd be able to focus entirely on your own research.
No, Donatti would never hire me as a chemist. Only a lab tech.
Technically. But you'd be doing independent research, actual chemistry.
You would have free rein.
But I'd be a lab tech to everyone else.
Obviously. In a perfect world, you wouldn't need help from anyone.
But, as you pointed out very lucidly,
you are working within a system that is pervasively unfair.
For you to operate as if it were fair, that's--
Can you explain to me how that makes any sense at all?
I'll treat you as an equal.
Hell, you're one of the smartest people in this lab.
Calvin, it doesn't matter if I work with you or for you.
People will view the work as yours. I'll never be seen as a scientist.
When you publish as lead scientist, they will.
Are you wearing pajamas?
No. That's my running gear. I run to and from work.
What does that mean, you run?
I run, you know, for exercise.
I know people find it odd, but it helps quiet my mind.
Think about my offer.
Calvin?
Yes.
Yes?
Yes.
I shower in my lab,
so just knock before entering.
Rest assured, I will knock.
There is protocol, Miss Zott. When you don't follow protocol, it falls on me.
Do you have any idea the blowback that I got
when you left the pageant halfway through?
I am sympathetic, Miss Frask,
but I'd really like to stay focused on my request.
It's a bad idea.
If you need a lab tech, there's plenty of good fellas for you to choose from.
Oh, boy, this is sex discrimination.
I don't even know what that means.
Miss Frask, I did not take this decision lightly.
His intentions are purely professional.
Oh, honey, there's no such thing as a professional relationship
between a man and a woman.
I didn't think you'd be as foolish as that.
There's a reason he's dead set on you, and I don't think it's your CV.
How many women chemists can you name, aside from Madame Curie?
- She's unqualified. - I didn't come here asking for permission.
I came here to make sure that the paperwork was filled out correctly.
Evans, you walk around here like you own the place, which is fine.
As long as the Remsen funding keeps flowing.
But as soon as the money dries up, you're gone.
We are colleagues. Nothing more, nothing less.
No, dear. You're his lab tech.
And I've seen this before. Men are men.
He will change his mind. And then what?
Everything good with Miss Frask?
Boilerplate. And Donatti?
A breeze.
I prefer the door open.
Okay, sure.
So, I organized our equipment in a way that a sane person might appreciate,
and I swept up the saltine crumbs.
Not because I'm a woman,
but because I can't imagine a worse substance to be in a chemistry lab.
The underwear is your responsibility.
Did you move the graduated cylinders?
I thought the center table was more equidistant.
How can you work when the music is so loud?
It's the only way I can think. You moved the spatulas too?
You've never shared space with someone, have you?
I like things the way I like them.
Calvin, it's not that I don't like music.
I just don't like this music. It's cluttered.
That's what I like about it. It helps me think.
You never know what's gonna come around the corner.
A trumpet, huh? Here comes the drums. It's exciting.
Noise.
Or I just appreciate something different.
Predictability. Formulaic structure.
I like the way the chords move, change, build upon one another,
like basic components into molecules.
What?
You're late. I already started the first trial.
I thought we could alternate every day.
Compromise.
What do we have here?
- Zott residence. - Hi. It's Calvin.
Calvin Evans. Your lab partner.
Calvin, it's almost 8:00 p.m.
Yeah, I just-- I can't stop thinking about the last thing you said
about the basic structure of pyrimidines and purines,
and it led me somewhere I had previously dismissed.
Nuclein independence?
Yes.
Hold on. Let me grab my notebook.
I was actually just jotting something down earlier
about Miescher's theory on the high phosphorus content of--
Hold on.
- Oh, shit. - Elizabeth?
Shit. I have to go.
- What happened? - I just burnt my dinner.
Oh, my goodness. I thought it was something serious.
Well, this is serious. I don't burn things.
Really? Never? You've never burnt anything?
No. I wasn't concentrating.
Well, sometimes mistakes can be a good thing.
They can lead us to what we don't expect.
I have to go. Good night.
Okay.
Oh, man.
That's it.
I had an epiphany on my run.
Could you please open the door?
- You inspired this. - Calvin.
- It's like you said. Occam's razor. - Calvin.
What if nucleic acids can actually encode far more complex molecules?
- Like, say, a-- - Calvin, I said, the door!
Elizabeth.
Elizabeth. Is everything okay? Did I do something?
This was a mistake.
I don't understand.
The Maillard reaction quickly browned the meat before placing it in the oven.
Now, let's see the fruits of our labor.
Oh, my God.
- Walter, should we cut to commercial? - No. I don't know. No.
That was not the intended outcome.
In science, you endeavor to control every variable of your experiment.
The temperature in your lab, the number of contaminants,
the correct calibration for each piece of equipment.
Sometimes you can't count on a formula.
Sometimes you can't control each variable.
Sometimes--
Many times...
things just turn out messy.
Sometimes you will burn the lasagna.
So I guess it's leftovers tonight.
Children, set the table. Your mother needs a moment for herself.