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I look like
I'm drunk all the time.
4
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:26,525
You know, I have slurred speech,
5
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,128
stumbling around the streets.
6
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,430
I'm sure people are
looking at me going,
7
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:35,268
"It's like 10 o'clock in the
morning, this guy's lost it,"
8
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:42,242
and that's just, this disease.
9
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:49,181
For an actor, the question
is, "What's next?"
10
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:50,350
It's always what's next.
11
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:55,388
And I can't do that anymore.
Physically, I can't.
12
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:59,491
It's the end of your life.
13
00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:00,827
It's the end of your career.
14
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:11,571
If this is the last play I
ever do, I'll miss acting.
15
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:13,640
I never thought I'd quit.
16
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,543
Half hour. Half hour.
17
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,778
Is everybody medicated up?
18
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,114
Yeah.
19
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,356
Oh, boy, big crowd.
20
00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:36,261
Chew this day up and
enjoy it, you know what I mean?
21
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,396
Okay.
22
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,530
- There's so much to do today,
23
00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:40,332
so many moments to get through,
24
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:44,269
and it kind of totally
disarms us when we're watching
25
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,506
because we expect, oh, look
at these dour circumstances,
26
00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:50,109
and there's nothing, you know,
27
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,810
like I said in
rehearsal one day,
28
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:53,145
you look you're having a
lot more fun than we are,
29
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,214
you know what I mean?
30
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:34,286
Molly, it's a triangle.
31
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:35,721
So this point is over.
32
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,856
- Let me go on just a
bit ahead of you, okay?
33
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,191
Okay.
34
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,325
- Like, as if what you're doing
35
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,227
is just kinda catching up stuff.
36
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,735
Off we go.
37
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:34,514
- Yeah. Can you take
us to 32nd, please?
38
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,784
And Lex, thank you.
39
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,455
It's pretty special to be a
working actor in New York.
40
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,425
There's nothing like,
41
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:48,460
walking through the
streets of Manhattan
42
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,562
about 4 o'clock in the morning.
43
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,232
This was the first time,
44
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,267
first Woody Allen film I did.
45
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:58,271
And knowing that you're gonna
work with Woody Allen all day.
46
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,007
You know, it's like the
biggest city in the world,
47
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:02,976
and you're working.
48
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,013
There's an advantage
49
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,948
to being an actor in New York.
50
00:04:09,949 --> 00:04:13,685
You're doing different
parts all the time,
51
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:16,588
so you're learning different
things all the time.
52
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:31,903
I love the action, and I
love that I can still do it.
53
00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:34,473
I did an Arthur
Miller play on Broadway,
54
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,577
and when it was curtain call,
and Arthur Miller walked out,
55
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,647
and the place, the
theater erupted.
56
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:44,916
They immediately rose to their
feet and charged the stage.
57
00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:47,319
I've never had a theatrical
experience like that.
58
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,922
The audience screamed.
59
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:54,060
I think they thought
he was dead.
60
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,663
And I take work very seriously.
61
00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:58,898
I keep working at it.
62
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:01,933
You're just pushing.
63
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:04,069
You're just pushing the
rock up the mountain.
64
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:05,704
It's not until
you get to the top
65
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,907
that you can say,
"I've arrived."
66
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:11,810
There's gonna come a time
67
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,780
when I won't be able
to do it anymore,
68
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,350
but that time hasn't come yet.
69
00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:22,454
The reason I
chose to move to New York
70
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:24,457
in the first place
was to do theater.
71
00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:27,826
And I'm a theater hound.
72
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:31,897
I just love doing it.
I love live audiences.
73
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:35,033
I love the fact
that it's like jazz.
74
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:46,645
Morning.
75
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:48,414
I'm here to see Dianne Wiest.
76
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,950
- You gotta go up to 72.
77
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,352
72?
78
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:00,926
Besides,
79
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,894
there's that haunted look
where Olga's so sad...
80
00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:04,996
That's beautiful,
Chris, Masha's line.
81
00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:05,865
- Hmm.
82
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:06,733
- Sweet dreams.
83
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,701
You should-Dear, dear.
84
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:10,570
- Dear.
85
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:12,971
Or just you
really should try to-
86
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,941
- My brother, dear.
87
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:19,778
You should really
live a healthier life.
88
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:20,946
Yeah.
89
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,615
- Try to live a healthier life.
90
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:29,121
- You don't live your
life. I have one rule.
91
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,624
Never worry about the future.
92
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:36,128
I don't think about
dying or death.
93
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,831
I think because dying and death,
94
00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:41,868
features prominently
in the play.
95
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,570
- I like that. Don't you?
96
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:46,671
Are you unhappy with that?
97
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:47,607
- No. I like it.
98
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:48,740
- I do too.
99
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:03,822
How are you, baby?
100
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,590
Hey, buddy.
101
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:06,591
How did we meet?
102
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,493
How did we meet?
103
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,061
We did, "A Month In The
Country" with Helen Mirren
104
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:11,964
and F. Murray Abraham
and Ron Rifkin.
105
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:17,202
And we had shared
a dressing room.
106
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,104
I saw him in his underwear.
107
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,572
- So, how did I look in my
underwear in those days?
108
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:21,573
- No worse than usual.
109
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:22,508
- No worse than usual.
110
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:32,484
- I started acting
about 6th, 7th grade
111
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:33,885
playing Winthrop Paroo,
112
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:37,522
and I realized I was
with high school girls,
113
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:39,925
and they would all
think, "You're so cute,"
114
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,861
and they would hug me, and
I'd be about breast level,
115
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:43,830
and I go,
116
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,832
and I was like, "I'm
an actor."
117
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,968
I'm gonna be an actor for life.
118
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:02,848
My first job was
Troilus in "Troilus and Cressida"
119
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,484
at Lincoln Center for Joe Papp.
120
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:07,018
About which Clive Barnes,
121
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,887
who was the reviewer
for the New York Times,
122
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:10,989
said the most boring three
hours in New York City
123
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:11,990
can currently be found
124
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,525
at Lincoln Center.
125
00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:14,659
They are called
"Troilus and Cressida."
126
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,597
- I almost never come to this.
127
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:19,598
In fact, it's usually
the other way around.
128
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,032
There's lots of people
129
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:22,667
who would love to have
a conversation with me.
130
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:25,670
Who ask me if they
can walk behind me.
131
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,272
Don't get any idea that
I'm completely alone
132
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:30,575
because I'm not.
- Walk behind me.
133
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:31,710
- In fact,
134
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:32,844
you're the one that looks like
135
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:33,846
you could use a little company.
136
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,715
I don't know where you get off
137
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,149
thinking you have anything
to give me anyway.
138
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:39,818
I got everything I need,
139
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:40,919
and what I don't have,
I know where to get it
140
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,053
anytime I want.
141
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:43,822
In the middle of the night...
142
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,024
Luckily enough, I
survived as an actor
143
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,693
for like 20, 30 years.
144
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,063
I don't know how.
145
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:53,999
- Explore alternative
lifestyles.
146
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,166
- No, I don't think you've
been a very good influence
147
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:56,669
on Linda, Mr. Weinrib.
148
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,571
- Weinrib, right.
149
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,806
So, Gildersleeve is a name that
I use for business purposes.
150
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:03,275
- I got an investment in Linda.
151
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,176
- No question. I honor that.
152
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:08,680
But by now, she's probably
repaid you 10-fold or 20-fold.
153
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:10,682
- Don't be so fuckin'
sure 'cause you don't know
154
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,117
what the fuckin' numbers are.
155
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,319
- It's okay. It's
a point well taken.
156
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:17,589
And then something changed.
157
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:34,873
I was losing
my balance on stage.
158
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:37,976
Where you stand up in this
one part, the whole cast,
159
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:40,211
and I like would
lose my balance,
160
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:43,615
and I'd kinda go,
what the hell is that?
161
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,718
And I had a tremor of some kind.
162
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,287
My hand would go like this.
163
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,024
It was uncontrollable.
164
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:06,071
It got harder
and harder to move.
165
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:09,240
I had one scene where I
couldn't remember five lines.
166
00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:11,644
I just couldn't
remember five lines.
167
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:19,284
I said, "Well, this is weird."
168
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,120
So, we had a meeting
with the doctor,
169
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,123
and my doctor said,
you got Parkinson's.
170
00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:45,844
The image I give to people
171
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:48,680
is if you take a
stone or a pebble
172
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,983
and you throw it
into a pool of water,
173
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,986
there's a ripple that
goes out from it.
174
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:59,190
Well, with me, it's like
my body, you take a stone
175
00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:02,427
and throw it into
my pool of water,
176
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:05,397
and it just goes, bloomp,
like it's in a bed of sand.
177
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,332
There's no ripple.
178
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:19,377
I used to be able to skip a
dose. It wouldn't affect me.
179
00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:22,714
Now, if I don't
have my medication
180
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:27,720
within four hours from the last
time, I begin to slow down.
181
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:29,855
And...
182
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:34,893
What time is it?
183
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,327
It's time to
take some medication.
184
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:37,830
- Me too. I'm time
for medication.
185
00:11:58,117 --> 00:12:00,485
It's time it ended
in the shelter too,
186
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:04,323
and yet, I hesitate,
I hesitate to end.
187
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:11,330
What do they do while
they're waiting for the end?
188
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,167
What do they do?
189
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:17,502
They perform!
190
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,177
I was reading
"Endgame" one night.
191
00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:27,412
Samuel
Beckett's "Endgame."
192
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,115
It's a great piece of writing.
193
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:31,516
I just felt like
194
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,918
this guy is like talking
about my life here,
195
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,320
about Parkinson's.
196
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,188
Hamm is blind and can't walk.
197
00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:38,991
He's confined to a wheelchair.
198
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:43,027
Clov can see, but it's very
difficult for him to move,
199
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,863
and he can't sit down.
200
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,499
The room, they're
locked in this room.
201
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,134
And it's a prison,
202
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:51,169
but it's the prison
that they live in.
203
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,938
Running in loops.
204
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,042
Saying the same thing over
and over again.
205
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,880
- Two actors with diminishing
physical abilities
206
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:05,550
playing two characters with
diminishing physical abilities,
207
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:09,421
trying to get through the
last stages of their lives.
208
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,958
So, it has great resonance.
209
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,126
It's the perfect play.
210
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,127
- Yeah.
211
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,062
It just dovetails
212
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:22,066
into our particular strengths
and weaknesses right now.
213
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:25,236
The idea for us is to
rehearsal for 4 or 5 weeks,
214
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:27,238
and put up..
215
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:28,840
Samuel
Beckett's "Endgame."
216
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,008
- Put up the play.
217
00:13:30,009 --> 00:13:31,142
- We'll do it.
218
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,078
- Yeah.
219
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:02,006
It's not an easy
play, but it's a great play.
220
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,309
So, it's worth us
attempting to do it.
221
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,144
- Something is happening.
What is happening?
222
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:08,046
- Something is
taking its course.
223
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:10,381
- What is the whole arc,
the umbrella of the play?
224
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:12,450
What about what
you guys wanna say?
225
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,319
Audiences pick up
on all these things.
226
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,055
I mean, audiences come
out to look at two people
227
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,424
who are working
under this condition,
228
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:22,560
and how does this
condition envelop the play?
229
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:25,997
We wanna see if they're
gonna be, you know, okay,
230
00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:28,433
or we wanna see if they're
gonna stumble a bit or falter,
231
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,235
and you know what it's like?
- Yeah. You don't wanna feel-
232
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:31,336
- It's like
schadenfreude or whatever.
233
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:32,971
- Don't wanna feel that.
234
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:34,372
- It's like, "Ooh,
they're in trouble."
235
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,007
What do you wanna say
about the illness?
236
00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:38,176
What do you wanna say
about the problems?
237
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:41,145
Or, we say, you know what?
238
00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:44,549
You don't need to see
that because, guess what?
239
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,417
We're gonna be the way we are,
240
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,119
and it's gonna just
fall into place
241
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,988
as a result of Beckett's-
242
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,456
- That's what I would choose.
243
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,191
- Yeah, that's what
I would choose too.
244
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,658
- Yeah.
245
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:54,159
- I think that the
illness should be
246
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,495
just a part of our lives.
247
00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:58,897
Right.
248
00:14:58,898 --> 00:14:59,931
- And that we're
doing this play.
249
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,099
And we're trying to-
250
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,267
- Want some?
- What is it?
251
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:03,902
- Sweet stuff.
252
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,004
- We're trying to do
it as well as we can.
253
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,207
Maybe...
254
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,109
We wanna do the play
to the best of our ability.
255
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,911
Right.
256
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,145
I think the challenges
for playing Clov for me
257
00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:16,180
will be to get the physicality.
258
00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:19,417
- Chris, I think has a little
more problem in movement.
259
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,586
I have a little more
problem in speech.
260
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,355
I get this drop-jawed thing.
261
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:25,924
I mean, he may get
to the production
262
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,259
and find himself
completely locked up.
263
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,694
You know, the night we perform,
264
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:33,998
I may be completely
jaw tight, mush mouth.
265
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,368
- This play calls
for inventiveness,
266
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,573
and some kind of alertness.
267
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:43,708
- The challenges of that
268
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:46,711
is trying to remember the script
269
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,280
- because it repeats.
- Yeah.
270
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,649
- With subtle variations.
271
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,990
You think of your body as being
your instrument as an actor.
272
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:02,995
Instead of a piano for a
pianist, it's your body.
273
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:13,038
Beckett wrote "Endgame" in '57.
274
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,175
His mother had died
a few years earlier,
275
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:19,311
in the early '50s,
of Parkinson's.
276
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,451
Beckett wrote this play sort
of almost right on the head
277
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:29,220
in terms of what we
know about the disease.
278
00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:31,122
Well, Beckett
certainly understood
279
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,458
some of these debilitating
effects of Parkinson's.
280
00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:36,261
It creates a prison.
281
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,733
It may be a verbal prison,
or it may be a prison
282
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,235
created by a lack of
mobility, you see.
283
00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:48,506
The effects of their physical
disabilities is spiraling.
284
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,641
Hamm says, "What's
happening?" To Clov.
285
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,343
"What's happening?
What's happening?"
286
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,778
Like, something is going on.
287
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:55,381
And Beckett says with anguish,
288
00:16:57,249 --> 00:17:00,551
and Clov says, "Things are
just taking their course."
289
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:02,153
Their natural course.
290
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,022
Yeah, their natural course.
291
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,324
Which I find with Parkinson's,
all the time you're going,
292
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:08,660
what's happening? What's
happening with my body?
293
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,522
In the beginning, symptoms
weren't showing so much,
294
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:41,559
but under my skin, it's like
vibrating 24 hours a day.
295
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,063
It's like a live wire.
296
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:52,637
It's like a roller coaster.
297
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:55,206
All of a sudden, you're
shaking. You can't move.
298
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:57,241
15 minutes later, you
can talk and you can walk
299
00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:00,845
and you can move and..
300
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:17,262
I was a very physical actor.
301
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:22,867
So, I found that extremely,
like I became extremely limited
302
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:27,305
as far as being able to
physically do things on stage,
303
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,408
which really cut into my work.
304
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:52,830
When I was diagnosed
about eight years ago,
305
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:54,565
I was on a medication
immediately
306
00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:57,870
and it messed up my
ability to learn lines
307
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:04,209
and took away from the
fluidity of my craft.
308
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,879
The first show that I did
after I was diagnosed,
309
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,749
I had a piece of
exposition about this long,
310
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:12,851
about a page long.
311
00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:16,921
It laid out all the
particulars of the plot
312
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,856
that were important for
the audience to know.
313
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:20,691
Good choice.
314
00:19:20,692 --> 00:19:22,560
- And I got through about
two sentences of it.
315
00:19:22,561 --> 00:19:24,462
There's only one other
actress on stage with me,
316
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:27,432
and I was talking to her,
and I went totally sky high.
317
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,935
And I looked at her
with terror in my eyes,
318
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:33,871
as if to say, help me, please.
319
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:35,806
I can't remember what to say.
320
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:38,876
And she looked at me with
hopelessness in her eyes,
321
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:40,278
as if to say-
322
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:41,712
- You're on your own.
323
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:43,347
I don't have any lines here.
324
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,216
You're on your own, brother.
325
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:48,787
- So, I said, "If I were to
say something to you right now,
326
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,292
what do you think it might be?"
327
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,528
She paused,
328
00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:00,398
and then she said her
approximation of my next line,
329
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:03,968
and I said, "Right."
330
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:07,838
Then what?
331
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:23,688
The name of this show is?
332
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:24,689
"Radiolab."
333
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,324
"Radiolab."
334
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,692
Hey. How
are you? How are you?
335
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:28,893
Remember me?
336
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:31,729
Of course I do.
337
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:35,600
All right. We should go
through this door. So...
338
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:37,868
So you both leaned
into your weaknesses?
339
00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:39,670
Yes. It's the
only way to do it.
340
00:20:39,671 --> 00:20:42,341
And I can't like go
through the rest of my life
341
00:20:43,675 --> 00:20:45,476
being afraid of this
fucking disease.
342
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:47,378
They contacted
the Beckett Estate
343
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:50,414
and got permission to put
on one live performance
344
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:51,683
in New York.
345
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,685
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hey, Chris.
346
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:56,621
I have this image of you
347
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:58,256
falling asleep on the train
being in the Far Rockaways.
348
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,690
Usually when
people rehearse a play,
349
00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:01,959
they rehearse 7
or 8 hours a day.
350
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,829
I find that my energy
acting in this play
351
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,497
is about three hours.
352
00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:09,667
I'm scared, but we've
got a couple of weeks.
353
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:11,502
- So, the fact that we
only work for 3 or 4 hours,
354
00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:13,504
and you know, that's the
concentration they have
355
00:21:13,505 --> 00:21:14,772
is like, oh, man.
356
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,007
Can you hear me?
357
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,341
- Yes.
358
00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:18,377
- Our hearing hasn't failed.
359
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,611
Our what?
360
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:22,013
Our hearing!
361
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:22,881
- Oh.
362
00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:25,516
- How we going out?
363
00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:26,851
You guys are busy, so go ahead.
364
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,886
I'm kinda screwy too, but...
365
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:31,822
It's nearly impossible
to find 4 to 5 weeks
366
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:33,824
where we can actually get
together and rehearse.
367
00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:38,830
Nagg and Nell and Hamm and
Clov, and Joe, our director.
368
00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:42,533
There's so many places.
369
00:21:42,534 --> 00:21:43,534
- Okay.
370
00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:44,969
That's the great thing
371
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,637
about working with
experienced actors.
372
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:48,072
The usual schedule
that things take,
373
00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:50,641
you know, that usually
applies, don't really...
374
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:51,776
We don't need that, you know?
375
00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:52,878
We can throw all that out.
376
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,847
Joe, he said on the phone,
377
00:21:56,848 --> 00:22:01,352
"Oh, you know, Dan, it
may never get performed."
378
00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:02,753
- That's the fun part,
379
00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:07,059
a somewhat non-result
oriented sandbox.
380
00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:10,462
- Joe!
381
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,564
- I think it's important
382
00:22:13,565 --> 00:22:18,036
that we shoot for
finishing this by June.
383
00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:20,438
Yeah.
384
00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:21,106
But I think we've got it.
385
00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:22,740
- I hope.
386
00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:24,975
- I realized there's a
lot less to worry about
387
00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:26,977
than I used to think there was.
388
00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:29,914
- I'm not sure what
it will be yet,
389
00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:33,451
but that's what
rehearsing will teach us.
390
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:35,086
- We talk about it.
We do the lines.
391
00:22:35,087 --> 00:22:37,555
We think about getting
up and doing it.
392
00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:40,124
- Just getting together
and looking at the script.
393
00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:41,826
- All you need to perform drama
394
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:43,761
is four boards and a passion.
395
00:22:43,762 --> 00:22:45,996
- Joe is encouraging us to
take all the time we need.
396
00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:47,932
Yeah.
397
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:49,868
- Thinking about this and
saying it like that and...
398
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:52,504
- I think I'll be able to do it.
399
00:22:53,772 --> 00:22:55,439
- I'm trying to remember
400
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,440
if it's the first time
we've worked together.
401
00:22:56,441 --> 00:22:57,442
Jeez, and that's weird.
402
00:22:58,477 --> 00:22:59,910
- Can't remember.
403
00:22:59,911 --> 00:23:01,846
- They're not only two
really wonderful actors.
404
00:23:01,847 --> 00:23:03,948
They're two of the nicest
guy, you'll meet.
405
00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:07,585
I mentioned their
names last night.
406
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:09,987
You know, people were lighting
up all over the place,
407
00:23:09,988 --> 00:23:11,122
you know?
408
00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:12,990
Dan's following that girl.
409
00:23:12,991 --> 00:23:16,494
♪ Brother, you can't go to
jail for what you're thinking ♪
410
00:23:16,495 --> 00:23:19,864
♪ Or for that something
look in your eye ♪
411
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:22,066
♪ That's why we're
standing on a corner ♪
412
00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:23,734
♪ Watching all the girls ♪
413
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:25,136
♪ Watching all the girls ♪
414
00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:28,672
♪ Watching all the girls go by ♪
415
00:23:31,443 --> 00:23:32,576
Hi, girls.
416
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:33,677
- Hi, girls.
417
00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:34,879
Go by.
418
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,549
- They're all going by.
- Go by.
419
00:23:38,550 --> 00:23:40,484
- Oh!
420
00:23:40,485 --> 00:23:41,485
Tags up.
421
00:23:41,486 --> 00:23:43,187
Oh, goodness.
422
00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:46,524
- The light's changing. Better
hurry and cross the street.
423
00:23:46,525 --> 00:23:48,159
The way, how much of
the story is drawing him in
424
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,128
to get him to give
you that response.
425
00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:52,864
Hamm's the boss.
426
00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:57,168
You wanna just review
what's the punctuations
427
00:23:57,169 --> 00:23:58,669
in there I'll be-
428
00:23:58,670 --> 00:23:59,804
- Yeah.
- In the shelter?
429
00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:00,972
Alone against.
430
00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:05,710
- There I'll be,
in the old shelter,
431
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:13,185
alone against the silence
and the stillness.
432
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:19,658
If I can hold my
peace and sit quiet,
433
00:24:20,992 --> 00:24:23,494
it will be all over
with, sound and emotion.
434
00:24:23,495 --> 00:24:24,696
All over and done with.
435
00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:27,899
Yeah?
- Yeah.
436
00:24:31,536 --> 00:24:34,138
Is there any part you wanna run?
437
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:37,042
I like the stuff
I found yesterday on...
438
00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:43,081
The rat?
439
00:24:43,081 --> 00:24:43,949
- He'll be gone.
440
00:24:45,584 --> 00:24:47,017
The, he'll go too...
441
00:24:47,018 --> 00:24:49,487
He couldn't come back.
He's been gone too far.
442
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,956
Yes. Too far.
443
00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:54,024
I do too.
- I'd like to retain that.
444
00:24:54,025 --> 00:24:55,092
Yeah.
445
00:25:12,577 --> 00:25:14,011
As an actor,
446
00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:16,248
there is doubt of what
you can do, every time.
447
00:25:26,057 --> 00:25:28,826
My acting teacher at
NYU was Olympia Dukakis,
448
00:25:28,827 --> 00:25:30,995
and she used to say, "You
should feel free here
449
00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:33,597
to fail as miserably
as you want."
450
00:25:33,598 --> 00:25:37,101
That doesn't exist out,
once you get out of school.
451
00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:38,303
You know, you can't fail.
452
00:25:41,940 --> 00:25:43,574
Chris and I are both
definitely feeling
453
00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:46,043
the urge to get it
right, you know?
454
00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:47,177
I don't wanna fuckin'...
455
00:25:47,178 --> 00:25:48,812
I don't wanna just do it like,
456
00:25:48,813 --> 00:25:50,714
"Oh, well, that was
good for Parky guys,"
457
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:53,551
but I want people
to come and go,
458
00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:56,820
"Oh, fuck. I never
saw a play like this.
459
00:25:56,821 --> 00:25:58,623
I never thought
of it like this."
460
00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:05,129
Well, I wanted to play this
part for like 20 years,
461
00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:09,034
but it's a good
part to try and hit.
462
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:14,105
Can there be misery
463
00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:18,909
loftier than mine?
464
00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:22,913
I have complications with
his part, making him so big.
465
00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:26,250
I've been sorta working on
him like, not pissed off,
466
00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:27,751
but mean.
467
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:28,819
How are your eyes?
468
00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:30,187
Bad.
469
00:26:30,188 --> 00:26:31,188
- How are your legs?
- Bad.
470
00:26:31,189 --> 00:26:32,323
- But you can move?
471
00:26:32,324 --> 00:26:32,891
- Yeah.
- Then move!
472
00:26:34,993 --> 00:26:36,727
- Let's read without the
stage directions, okay?
473
00:26:36,728 --> 00:26:38,129
- Okay.
- You know...
474
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:40,931
- Play?
- Fool around with that.
475
00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:42,266
- Play with it, yeah.
476
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:43,267
- Yeah, because
there's no, you know...
477
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:44,135
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
478
00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:46,036
- Christ's sake.
479
00:26:46,037 --> 00:26:47,805
What I learned about this is
as many questions as you ask,
480
00:26:47,806 --> 00:26:49,740
there's sort of no right answer.
481
00:26:49,741 --> 00:26:53,010
I mean, you don't know if the
right answer is entertainment,
482
00:26:53,011 --> 00:26:55,846
or pain.
483
00:26:55,847 --> 00:26:57,281
Yeah.
484
00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:58,916
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah. Yeah.
485
00:26:58,917 --> 00:26:59,784
- You don't know, and
it's best kept that way.
486
00:26:59,784 --> 00:26:59,918
That's Beckett.
487
00:27:02,854 --> 00:27:05,155
Of the coming
to, of the being at,
488
00:27:05,156 --> 00:27:07,926
of the going from
Knott's habitat,
489
00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:11,996
of the long way,
of the short stay,
490
00:27:11,997 --> 00:27:14,366
of the going back home
the way he had come,
491
00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:18,636
of the empty heart,
of the empty hands,
492
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:21,740
of the dim mind wayfaring
through barren lands.
493
00:27:24,275 --> 00:27:27,311
- When we first encountered
Beckett, when I was in college,
494
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:30,782
at that time everybody was
talking all about existentialism.
495
00:27:32,050 --> 00:27:33,684
People often
misinterpret Beckett
496
00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:35,319
and make it very heavy handed,
497
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,920
because they wanna massage
498
00:27:36,921 --> 00:27:39,390
that sort of like,
"Oh, isn't life hard?
499
00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:41,258
Isn't the world falling apart?"
500
00:27:41,259 --> 00:27:45,162
Well, you know, the post-nuclear
apocalyptic interpretations
501
00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:46,797
and all that.
502
00:27:46,798 --> 00:27:47,931
Beckett's idea of
the human condition
503
00:27:47,932 --> 00:27:49,366
is, am I cold or am I hot?
504
00:27:49,367 --> 00:27:53,070
Am I tired or am
I alive and awake?
505
00:27:53,071 --> 00:27:55,105
Am I talking? Am I silent?
506
00:27:55,106 --> 00:27:56,141
It's so basic.
507
00:27:57,742 --> 00:28:00,377
That's why people often
get crazed about Beckett
508
00:28:00,378 --> 00:28:01,945
going, "You know, I know
it's supposed to be good.
509
00:28:01,946 --> 00:28:03,781
I know it's supposed
to be funny,"
510
00:28:03,782 --> 00:28:05,382
and then somehow it never does
511
00:28:05,383 --> 00:28:09,053
because everyone succumbs
to its greatness.
512
00:28:20,165 --> 00:28:22,399
- Morning.
- Hey, brother.
513
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,034
How you been?
514
00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:24,903
- Hangin' in, you
know how it is.
515
00:28:24,903 --> 00:28:25,770
- All right.
516
00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:26,438
Hey, boys.
517
00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:32,711
I'll have some Gatorade.
518
00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:37,916
Shit!
519
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:41,018
I got it.
520
00:28:41,019 --> 00:28:42,853
I'm sorry, brother.
521
00:28:42,854 --> 00:28:43,388
- That's all right. Don't
worry about it, man.
522
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:44,255
- Fuck.
523
00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:45,856
- I got you.
524
00:28:45,857 --> 00:28:46,725
- I'm sorry.
- Just leave it.
525
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,392
Thanks.
526
00:28:47,393 --> 00:28:48,393
I'm sorry.
527
00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:50,227
- It's all right.
528
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:51,261
The whole place is tight.
That's what happens.
529
00:28:51,262 --> 00:28:52,262
- Yeah, I know.
530
00:28:52,263 --> 00:28:53,263
- Got no space no more.
531
00:28:53,264 --> 00:28:54,733
- I know, brother.
532
00:28:57,469 --> 00:29:01,072
- Okay more, this is
going to be 13, 1,75.
533
00:29:03,374 --> 00:29:04,242
$27.74.
534
00:29:06,377 --> 00:29:10,047
I find that I'm thrown
off balance very easily,
535
00:29:10,048 --> 00:29:11,049
very easily.
536
00:29:12,851 --> 00:29:14,184
I just don't like it.
537
00:29:18,189 --> 00:29:20,991
I'm very timid compared
to what I used to be.
538
00:29:20,992 --> 00:29:23,460
I mean, I used to feel like
I can walk down the street.
539
00:29:23,461 --> 00:29:25,329
I can say shit to anybody.
540
00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:27,431
Now, I'm worried about
bumping into other people.
541
00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:29,366
I've had a couple
altercations on the street
542
00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:31,468
because I bumped into people.
543
00:29:31,469 --> 00:29:34,271
And I don't wanna
do that anymore.
544
00:29:34,272 --> 00:29:36,173
I don't wanna fist
fight anymore.
545
00:29:36,174 --> 00:29:38,008
I'd like to, actually.
546
00:29:38,009 --> 00:29:39,978
I don't think I should.
547
00:29:43,982 --> 00:29:47,284
I find that I burst out.
548
00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:49,554
You hold this shit in,
then it comes out like,
549
00:29:51,222 --> 00:29:52,390
"I don't wanna do that!"
550
00:29:54,392 --> 00:29:57,862
To somebody you love,
or some stranger.
551
00:30:01,833 --> 00:30:05,536
Dan was working in a
traveling Shakespeare company,
552
00:30:05,537 --> 00:30:07,437
and I joined.
553
00:30:07,438 --> 00:30:09,040
I fell in love at first sight.
554
00:30:11,543 --> 00:30:13,377
I think one of the things
that drew me to Dan
555
00:30:13,378 --> 00:30:16,314
was this kind of man's man guy.
556
00:30:23,054 --> 00:30:25,255
He's always been quite alpha.
557
00:30:25,256 --> 00:30:30,261
He, is gregarious, you know?
558
00:30:44,876 --> 00:30:46,477
He was gorgeous.
559
00:30:53,218 --> 00:30:55,285
He was an incredibly
physical actor,
560
00:30:55,286 --> 00:30:58,422
and of course, that's
a complete change.
561
00:30:58,423 --> 00:31:00,924
It's difficult for him
not to have his body
562
00:31:00,925 --> 00:31:02,260
at his beck and call.
563
00:31:05,897 --> 00:31:10,234
He, for most of his life,
has been an extrovert
564
00:31:10,235 --> 00:31:14,606
who draws energy out
of group situations.
565
00:31:17,342 --> 00:31:21,144
What's happening right
now, is his self-image
566
00:31:21,145 --> 00:31:24,014
is not matching up to
what he can physically do.
567
00:31:25,917 --> 00:31:27,051
How do you feel?
568
00:31:30,054 --> 00:31:30,989
Do you feel normal?
569
00:31:33,524 --> 00:31:35,493
I feel a little strange.
570
00:31:40,932 --> 00:31:42,300
Over the last week,
571
00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:46,104
I've gone through the whole
night without getting up.
572
00:31:47,538 --> 00:31:48,406
- Good.
573
00:31:53,111 --> 00:31:54,478
How's your thinking?
574
00:31:54,479 --> 00:31:55,346
I think it's okay.
575
00:31:55,347 --> 00:31:57,014
- You do? Okay.
576
00:31:57,015 --> 00:31:59,050
No trouble with forgetfulness?
577
00:31:59,984 --> 00:32:01,085
Figuring things out?
578
00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:09,026
- Trying to figure out the
answer to that question,
579
00:32:09,027 --> 00:32:10,260
I'm having a little problem.
580
00:32:12,096 --> 00:32:13,230
Chris' posture has gotten worse.
581
00:32:13,231 --> 00:32:14,498
- He tends to lean to the right.
582
00:32:14,499 --> 00:32:16,366
You don't fall, right?
583
00:32:16,367 --> 00:32:17,936
- I don't fall.
- You have not fallen? Good.
584
00:32:19,537 --> 00:32:23,173
- The last six months, I've
physically deteriorated.
585
00:32:23,174 --> 00:32:25,276
It's harder for me to
get through the day.
586
00:32:26,678 --> 00:32:29,246
So, it's a little less
easy to be optimistic
587
00:32:29,247 --> 00:32:31,048
than it used to be.
588
00:32:31,049 --> 00:32:32,449
- This is the pull test.
589
00:32:32,450 --> 00:32:33,951
I'm gonna pull you back
from the shoulders.
590
00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:35,218
- Okay.
- Okay.
591
00:32:35,219 --> 00:32:36,353
You know what to do?
- Sure.
592
00:32:36,354 --> 00:32:37,988
- Take a little step back.
593
00:32:37,989 --> 00:32:39,656
Okay. This is gonna
be a very light pull.
594
00:32:39,657 --> 00:32:41,224
So, here's a practice. One,
two, three, and just...
595
00:32:41,225 --> 00:32:42,659
Good. Perfect.
596
00:32:42,660 --> 00:32:45,229
So, here's a bigger
pull. One, two, three.
597
00:32:46,297 --> 00:32:47,731
Okay. Good.
598
00:32:47,732 --> 00:32:49,266
With your left hand,
can you go like this?
599
00:32:49,267 --> 00:32:50,600
Just tap. Big and wide.
600
00:32:50,601 --> 00:32:52,602
The dopamine in the brain
601
00:32:52,603 --> 00:32:57,240
is what communicates
to the muscles, move,
602
00:32:57,241 --> 00:32:58,642
and in my brain,
603
00:32:58,643 --> 00:33:01,745
the cells that carry
the dopamine are dying.
604
00:33:01,746 --> 00:33:03,413
Why they die off is not clear.
605
00:33:03,414 --> 00:33:06,216
That is the root mystery
of Parkinson's disease.
606
00:33:06,217 --> 00:33:09,019
Could be that
the garbage disposal system
607
00:33:09,020 --> 00:33:11,655
in the cells isn't
working properly.
608
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:13,724
They fill up with
trash, so they die.
609
00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:15,325
Take your left foot.
610
00:33:15,326 --> 00:33:16,260
Can you plant the heel
and tap like this?
611
00:33:18,096 --> 00:33:19,463
You know, we
always have to ask you this,
612
00:33:19,464 --> 00:33:21,999
but you never answer, but...
613
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,600
I never do? Do what?
614
00:33:23,601 --> 00:33:26,003
- Do you think his trajectory
continues to go great
615
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:29,573
for 5 years, 10 years, 2 years?
616
00:33:29,574 --> 00:33:33,043
- You can't dwell on
how much more time,
617
00:33:33,044 --> 00:33:34,745
you know, do I have at
this level of function
618
00:33:34,746 --> 00:33:36,547
because it's totally
unpredictable.
619
00:33:37,615 --> 00:33:39,249
- His range is narrowing.
620
00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:41,151
His palate used to
be rainbow colored,
621
00:33:41,152 --> 00:33:43,354
and now it's kind of come
down to shades of gray.
622
00:33:45,223 --> 00:33:47,224
Chris was in a movie
with Kirk Douglas,
623
00:33:47,225 --> 00:33:49,393
and a friend of mine was
trying to match me up.
624
00:33:49,394 --> 00:33:53,163
They said, "This great guy,
actor, very funny, red hair."
625
00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:55,599
I said, "Nah, not so interested.
626
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,068
I'm having so much
fun being single,
627
00:33:58,069 --> 00:34:00,704
but I'd love another friend."
628
00:34:02,306 --> 00:34:04,608
My plan didn't really work out.
629
00:34:04,609 --> 00:34:07,377
But then when the movie came
out, it was a small party,
630
00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:09,112
and then we met at the doorway.
631
00:34:09,113 --> 00:34:10,514
The doorbell was broken,
632
00:34:10,515 --> 00:34:12,282
so we were just
both standing there.
633
00:34:12,283 --> 00:34:14,351
I said, "Oh, you must
be a friend of Skip's."
634
00:34:14,352 --> 00:34:15,752
- What's up?
635
00:34:15,753 --> 00:34:17,487
- We found somebody
we'd like to get to run
636
00:34:17,488 --> 00:34:19,122
for that selectman's seat.
637
00:34:19,123 --> 00:34:20,824
I don't need to tell
you, it's a big honor.
638
00:34:20,825 --> 00:34:22,392
- That's what they call
it when you work hard
639
00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:24,528
but you don't get paid.
640
00:34:24,529 --> 00:34:29,399
- And then we, you
know, dated a few times,
641
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,268
and then I said, look.
642
00:34:31,269 --> 00:34:33,136
You know, maybe, I could
fit you in like once a week,
643
00:34:33,137 --> 00:34:34,704
and then we started seeing
each other every day,
644
00:34:34,705 --> 00:34:37,741
and then moved in together.
645
00:35:00,198 --> 00:35:03,700
The sort of painful part for me,
646
00:35:03,701 --> 00:35:05,169
I've got three kids.
647
00:35:07,138 --> 00:35:09,606
They remember me when
I didn't have it,
648
00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:11,675
but it's getting on to the time
649
00:35:11,676 --> 00:35:14,211
when they'll have more
years with me with it
650
00:35:14,212 --> 00:35:15,679
than without it.
651
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:17,547
That's good.
- Wait, what are we making?
652
00:35:17,548 --> 00:35:19,584
Pan roasted chicken
with rosemary garlic?
653
00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:24,754
- Salt, pepper, and wine.
654
00:35:24,755 --> 00:35:26,157
- Salt, pepper,
655
00:35:27,358 --> 00:35:30,495
and where would the wine be?
656
00:35:32,830 --> 00:35:35,832
They have to live with a father
657
00:35:35,833 --> 00:35:37,701
who could be a grandfather,
658
00:35:37,702 --> 00:35:40,570
and, they've
been absolutely terrific.
659
00:35:40,571 --> 00:35:42,906
Okay, I'm gonna
need some help here.
660
00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:44,574
Oops!
- Oh.
661
00:35:44,575 --> 00:35:46,344
- I need to get
some of these out.
662
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:50,647
- Here.
663
00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:51,382
It's really full.
664
00:35:56,888 --> 00:35:57,921
Pour it into that?
665
00:35:57,922 --> 00:35:58,789
- Yeah, bud.
666
00:35:59,924 --> 00:36:01,292
- That is so good.
667
00:36:02,693 --> 00:36:03,927
It's amazing.
668
00:36:03,928 --> 00:36:06,396
It's really good.
669
00:36:06,397 --> 00:36:08,298
- Sometimes I wonder if
I'm in my right mind,
670
00:36:08,299 --> 00:36:11,269
then it passes it over and
I'm as lucid as before.
671
00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:14,738
Sometimes I wonder if
I'm in my right senses,
672
00:36:14,739 --> 00:36:17,275
then it passes off and I'm
as intelligent as ever.
673
00:36:18,409 --> 00:36:19,543
- That was your line?
674
00:36:19,544 --> 00:36:20,544
These are all...
675
00:36:20,545 --> 00:36:21,945
- These are all... Hmm.
676
00:36:21,946 --> 00:36:23,580
Pure gold.
677
00:36:23,581 --> 00:36:24,714
These are all lines
678
00:36:24,715 --> 00:36:25,849
you really gotta listen to.
679
00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:27,184
What's he doing?
680
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,652
He's crying, then he's living.
681
00:36:28,653 --> 00:36:30,487
What Dad just said-
682
00:36:30,488 --> 00:36:32,289
- What is
Beckett known for? Observe?
683
00:36:32,290 --> 00:36:32,423
- You're on Earth.
There's no cure for that.
684
00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:37,294
That was a line worthy of fame.
685
00:36:37,295 --> 00:36:41,666
My kids have been
unbelievably supportive.
686
00:36:42,733 --> 00:36:44,634
But in terms of my family,
687
00:36:44,635 --> 00:36:47,304
my wife, for the first six
years of my being diagnosed,
688
00:36:47,305 --> 00:36:48,638
was very angry.
689
00:36:48,639 --> 00:36:50,273
What's sort of ironic
690
00:36:50,274 --> 00:36:52,242
is she is the kind of
positive, generous,
691
00:36:52,243 --> 00:36:54,245
supportive of the two of us.
692
00:36:55,646 --> 00:36:57,280
Nice
dinner. Thank you.
693
00:36:57,281 --> 00:36:58,715
It was
good. Thanks Beth.
694
00:36:58,716 --> 00:37:00,383
You gonna go for a walk?
695
00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:01,384
I think
so. I'm exhausted.
696
00:37:01,385 --> 00:37:02,819
- You guys go ahead.
697
00:37:02,820 --> 00:37:04,922
You go for a walk
with Ron and Joanna.
698
00:37:09,460 --> 00:37:13,463
- I think that Chris and Dan's
resilience is incredible,
699
00:37:13,464 --> 00:37:14,764
and the fact that
they're still carving out
700
00:37:14,765 --> 00:37:16,367
this beautiful, creative life,
701
00:37:17,535 --> 00:37:18,835
but it comes at a cost.
702
00:37:18,836 --> 00:37:20,871
He's not the guy I married.
703
00:37:21,806 --> 00:37:22,940
- Wave to Mom. Wave.
704
00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:26,710
His first swim by himself!
705
00:37:26,711 --> 00:37:28,345
Wow.
706
00:37:28,346 --> 00:37:30,247
- The biggest boy.
Now, watch this.
707
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:31,248
- No, no.
708
00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:32,249
- No, no, he says.
709
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,783
That means yes, yes.
710
00:37:33,784 --> 00:37:35,286
Really? Ta-da.
711
00:37:36,654 --> 00:37:37,521
- Ta-da.
712
00:37:45,896 --> 00:37:47,330
I think that he definitely
713
00:37:47,331 --> 00:37:48,765
has to put on a game face
714
00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:50,735
in most simple tasks in life.
715
00:37:57,308 --> 00:37:58,708
- This 109-
- Oh no.
716
00:37:58,709 --> 00:38:00,011
- So, that regular price.
717
00:38:02,613 --> 00:38:04,014
And sir, when you're ready,
718
00:38:04,015 --> 00:38:05,315
I'll actually have
Louise check you out.
719
00:38:05,316 --> 00:38:05,983
- Okay.
720
00:38:07,752 --> 00:38:09,419
Yeah, I just realized
that we're not open yet,
721
00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:11,288
but if you give them
a call and say that.
722
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:14,624
I think on Saturday
morning, I won't be here,
723
00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:16,694
but should be in the gym.
724
00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:19,896
Otherwise just come in
and pick it up Friday.
725
00:38:19,897 --> 00:38:21,898
The Parkinson's I think,
726
00:38:21,899 --> 00:38:25,870
kinda pulls him
back to apathetic.
727
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:32,375
And he's not able to
switch gears well,
728
00:38:32,376 --> 00:38:34,611
and he's not able to
complete tasks well,
729
00:38:34,612 --> 00:38:36,680
and he's exhausted,
730
00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:38,581
like when you're talking
to him around dinner
731
00:38:38,582 --> 00:38:39,684
and he falls asleep.
732
00:38:42,486 --> 00:38:44,854
If he's asleep while I'm talking
to him about my feelings,
733
00:38:44,855 --> 00:38:46,723
it doesn't really matter.
734
00:38:46,724 --> 00:38:50,593
Now you have to be the
nurse to your sick spouse.
735
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,034
And I feel upset with myself
736
00:38:58,035 --> 00:39:00,438
whenever I get
impatient with him,
737
00:39:01,806 --> 00:39:03,440
or say, "Come on,
come on," you know?
738
00:39:03,441 --> 00:39:05,408
I can't help it though.
739
00:39:05,409 --> 00:39:09,045
And I feel sorry that
I'm not more patient.
740
00:39:09,046 --> 00:39:12,383
I feel sorry every day that
I'm not like Mother Teresa.
741
00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:15,085
With Chris and I,
742
00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:16,654
we both fall into what
we call power nap.
743
00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:21,459
I mean, we're just like in
the middle of the day just...
744
00:39:24,662 --> 00:39:25,529
Go out.
745
00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:30,367
I do it often.
746
00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,801
What about that pee?
747
00:39:32,671 --> 00:39:33,870
- I'm having it.
748
00:39:35,005 --> 00:39:36,873
Ah, that's the spirit.
749
00:39:36,874 --> 00:39:38,775
I'm a little worried
that I start to play off asleep
750
00:39:38,776 --> 00:39:39,776
on the stage.
751
00:39:39,777 --> 00:39:40,678
And I'll be gone.
752
00:39:40,679 --> 00:39:42,011
I'll be out.
753
00:39:42,012 --> 00:39:42,980
He's up.
754
00:39:42,981 --> 00:39:44,647
- Uppa!
755
00:39:44,648 --> 00:39:45,648
- Da, da, da, da.
- Up periscope.
756
00:39:45,649 --> 00:39:47,550
- He's down again.
757
00:39:47,551 --> 00:39:49,753
Bum, bum, bum, bum,
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
758
00:39:49,754 --> 00:39:52,723
- He's up. Look at this guy.
759
00:39:54,024 --> 00:39:55,425
Unbelievable.
760
00:39:55,426 --> 00:39:56,926
You just take your medication?
761
00:39:56,927 --> 00:39:58,061
- Just now.
762
00:39:58,062 --> 00:39:59,396
But it hasn't kicked in yet.
763
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:00,830
He's all juiced up.
764
00:40:00,831 --> 00:40:01,732
- I'm trying to
get it kicked in.
765
00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:02,866
You gotta move.
766
00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:04,134
You gotta move and groove.
767
00:40:04,135 --> 00:40:06,003
Move and groove, baby.
768
00:40:08,606 --> 00:40:10,106
You gotta move your lips...
769
00:40:17,581 --> 00:40:19,483
- Yes, is this Dr.
Di Rocco's office?
770
00:40:20,851 --> 00:40:23,019
I'll take the Thursday
at four. I'll be there.
771
00:40:23,020 --> 00:40:25,121
Okay. Talk to you in a soon.
772
00:40:42,807 --> 00:40:45,476
Hi, Dan. How are you?
773
00:40:49,980 --> 00:40:52,015
At Dr. DiRocco's office,
774
00:40:52,016 --> 00:40:54,584
they make me fill
out these forms.
775
00:40:54,585 --> 00:40:58,054
How's the shaking? How's the
balance? Have you fallen?
776
00:40:58,055 --> 00:40:59,622
About what pills I'm taking.
777
00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:01,492
Every time, the same one.
778
00:41:02,860 --> 00:41:04,160
And I think they wanna
see your handwriting too
779
00:41:04,161 --> 00:41:06,129
because my handwriting's
getting worse.
780
00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:07,797
My handwriting's
getting very tiny,
781
00:41:07,798 --> 00:41:10,066
like it's supposed to
get with Parkinson's,
782
00:41:10,067 --> 00:41:14,138
and I say, "Can I just Xerox
one from three months before?"
783
00:41:16,807 --> 00:41:21,711
But, on a general scale
of how I feel day to day,
784
00:41:21,712 --> 00:41:24,181
it's like a roller coaster.
785
00:41:27,551 --> 00:41:29,085
The thing is with Parkinson,
786
00:41:29,086 --> 00:41:31,254
I have no freaking idea
787
00:41:31,255 --> 00:41:33,724
what complications
I'm gonna be hit with.
788
00:41:54,278 --> 00:41:55,880
- Good. No change.
789
00:41:57,248 --> 00:41:58,615
- I'm glad! I'm the same person.
790
00:42:00,584 --> 00:42:02,018
- That's my friend.
791
00:42:02,019 --> 00:42:03,553
- The only sorta new
thing that dropped in
792
00:42:03,554 --> 00:42:05,655
was some hallucinations.
793
00:42:05,656 --> 00:42:08,725
Rats coming down
on spider strings.
794
00:42:08,726 --> 00:42:09,859
But you were asleep?
795
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:12,962
- In bed, and attacking Ruthie.
796
00:42:12,963 --> 00:42:14,797
That's the first
time I've had that.
797
00:42:14,798 --> 00:42:17,267
- Technically, these
are not hallucinations.
798
00:42:17,268 --> 00:42:18,601
Okay.
799
00:42:18,602 --> 00:42:20,103
So, these are-
800
00:42:20,104 --> 00:42:21,071
- That's real?
- It's real.
801
00:42:21,072 --> 00:42:22,672
Good.
802
00:42:22,673 --> 00:42:23,541
That was a reality.
803
00:42:23,542 --> 00:42:24,542
- I'm glad.
804
00:42:24,543 --> 00:42:26,276
- Those are dreams.
805
00:42:26,277 --> 00:42:28,044
So, in Parkinson, you got
dreams that are so vivid.
806
00:42:28,045 --> 00:42:29,178
Yeah.
807
00:42:29,179 --> 00:42:30,914
- That they become reality.
808
00:42:30,915 --> 00:42:32,282
- Okay.
- Usually,
809
00:42:32,283 --> 00:42:33,883
we dream in silence
when we dream
810
00:42:33,884 --> 00:42:34,618
and we don't move,
we don't talk.
811
00:42:34,619 --> 00:42:36,252
- Right.
812
00:42:36,253 --> 00:42:37,587
- When you have Parkinson,
you talk, you move,
813
00:42:37,588 --> 00:42:39,255
you act out your dreams.
814
00:42:39,256 --> 00:42:42,759
It's a common, it's part of the
little gifts that Parkinson-
815
00:42:44,128 --> 00:42:45,996
Yeah, one of the many.
816
00:42:47,798 --> 00:42:49,699
- When I was diagnosed,
the doctor said,
817
00:42:49,700 --> 00:42:51,768
basically, there's
not gonna be any cure.
818
00:42:51,769 --> 00:42:55,238
Maybe in 10, 15 years
we'll have something.
819
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,574
I mean, like the way
I was asking him,
820
00:42:57,575 --> 00:43:00,977
"Will I be able to
be normal again?
821
00:43:00,978 --> 00:43:03,313
Will I be able to
speak normally?
822
00:43:03,314 --> 00:43:07,050
Will it come out the
way I want it to?"
823
00:43:07,051 --> 00:43:10,921
And he said, "Not soon enough."
824
00:43:22,166 --> 00:43:23,033
- Ah!
825
00:43:24,868 --> 00:43:29,672
Danny, his process in "Endgame"
has been a little different.
826
00:43:29,673 --> 00:43:31,841
He's been running lines and
running lines and running lines,
827
00:43:31,842 --> 00:43:36,847
and working until the wee
hours almost on a daily basis.
828
00:43:38,682 --> 00:43:39,883
I think he goes through the
play probably twice every day.
829
00:43:42,219 --> 00:43:43,820
It's taking a lot of time.
830
00:43:43,821 --> 00:43:45,755
I mean, it is his main focus.
831
00:43:45,756 --> 00:43:48,626
It's definitely been his main
focus for, I'd say, a year.
832
00:43:51,195 --> 00:43:53,062
- I'll tell you the
combination of the cupboard
833
00:43:53,063 --> 00:43:54,897
if you promise to finish me.
834
00:43:54,898 --> 00:43:56,866
- But I couldn't finish you.
835
00:43:56,867 --> 00:43:59,069
- Then you won't finish me.
836
00:44:01,171 --> 00:44:03,006
- I'm leaving you.
I have things to do.
837
00:44:03,007 --> 00:44:04,408
- In your kitchen?
838
00:44:07,911 --> 00:44:09,379
Sorry.
839
00:44:09,380 --> 00:44:10,980
- Huh?
840
00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:11,849
Do you remember
when you came here?
841
00:44:11,850 --> 00:44:14,884
- Oh, right.
842
00:44:14,885 --> 00:44:16,153
Do you remember?
843
00:44:17,888 --> 00:44:21,124
What was just before
this? What was it?
844
00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:22,692
I'll tell you the
combination of the cupboard
845
00:44:22,693 --> 00:44:23,826
if you-
846
00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:25,428
- The last thing I've done,
847
00:44:25,429 --> 00:44:28,031
I had like three speeches
to start off with.
848
00:44:28,032 --> 00:44:32,268
There's nobody on stage to
give me lines, and I went dead,
849
00:44:32,269 --> 00:44:34,203
and I just started
looking at the audience.
850
00:44:34,204 --> 00:44:37,774
And I found myself, for the
first time, this was spooky,
851
00:44:37,775 --> 00:44:39,208
not going like, "Oh, what's
my line? What's my line?
852
00:44:39,209 --> 00:44:41,144
Think of my line.
Think of your line!"
853
00:44:41,145 --> 00:44:43,379
Going over my lines like a
mile a minute in my head.
854
00:44:43,380 --> 00:44:46,049
Instead, I sat there,
and I just went,
855
00:44:46,050 --> 00:44:49,019
"Oh, look, there's Jim.
856
00:44:50,888 --> 00:44:53,724
Oh, he's got a black shirt
on. He didn't wear a tie.
857
00:44:55,092 --> 00:44:57,026
He shoulda worn a
tie to the play.
858
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:59,196
Oh, well. He's underdressed.
859
00:45:00,764 --> 00:45:04,267
There's Mary Louise.
Oh, she's a goofball.
860
00:45:04,268 --> 00:45:06,236
Oh, God. I better
think of this line."
861
00:45:14,745 --> 00:45:18,382
And that was scary, to
not even worry about it.
862
00:45:25,422 --> 00:45:27,023
I'm not gonna be acting
that much anymore.
863
00:45:27,024 --> 00:45:28,257
I mean, I just can't.
864
00:45:28,258 --> 00:45:30,728
I just can't do it.
865
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:34,964
I can't control my
body or my voice.
866
00:45:34,965 --> 00:45:37,233
And I'm losing my voice
and I'm losing my body,
867
00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:38,835
control of my body.
868
00:45:38,836 --> 00:45:40,770
And that's what you
use as an actor.
869
00:45:40,771 --> 00:45:42,305
So, I don't see me
doing much more.
870
00:45:42,306 --> 00:45:44,174
So, I look at this
as kind of like,
871
00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:47,176
a goodbye to theater.
872
00:45:47,177 --> 00:45:48,945
Which is sad,
873
00:45:48,946 --> 00:45:51,447
because I thought I'd be
doing it my whole life.
874
00:45:51,448 --> 00:45:52,316
It's very weird.
875
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:56,854
I've lost that
sense of identity.
876
00:46:02,459 --> 00:46:04,261
I look at the wall.
877
00:46:07,231 --> 00:46:08,265
The wall!
878
00:46:09,833 --> 00:46:11,534
And what do you
see on your wall?
879
00:46:11,535 --> 00:46:13,237
Mene, mene?
880
00:46:14,104 --> 00:46:15,439
Naked bodies?
881
00:46:17,474 --> 00:46:21,078
I see my light dying.
882
00:46:41,031 --> 00:46:42,431
You want a chair?
883
00:46:42,432 --> 00:46:43,933
No?
884
00:47:06,523 --> 00:47:08,925
- You know, when people tell
me Chris is doing great,
885
00:47:08,926 --> 00:47:10,326
I feel like, "Oh, yeah?
886
00:47:10,327 --> 00:47:12,261
You should see him
asleep at the computer,
887
00:47:12,262 --> 00:47:14,297
you know, at 5 in the afternoon.
888
00:47:14,298 --> 00:47:16,032
Or you should help
him on with his shirt
889
00:47:16,033 --> 00:47:17,166
at 6 in the morning.
890
00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:18,434
You think he's doing so great?
891
00:47:18,435 --> 00:47:19,903
He's not doing that great.
892
00:47:22,573 --> 00:47:25,576
You know, I feel that
there's the tyranny of,
893
00:47:27,110 --> 00:47:29,278
who's the actor who
has Parkinson's?
894
00:47:29,279 --> 00:47:30,947
Michael J. Fox.
895
00:47:30,948 --> 00:47:32,882
Michael J. Fox has put
so much pressure on me
896
00:47:32,883 --> 00:47:35,451
to be happy all the time with
a spouse who has Parkinson's,
897
00:47:35,452 --> 00:47:39,288
and you know, we don't
have the endless supply
898
00:47:39,289 --> 00:47:44,061
of sunshine, money,
pharmaceuticals to keep us all happy.
899
00:47:47,464 --> 00:47:49,265
That's back that there.
900
00:47:49,266 --> 00:47:51,034
- This?
- Uh-huh.
901
00:47:53,570 --> 00:47:54,538
If that's the-Got it.
902
00:47:57,374 --> 00:47:59,542
It's pretty good.
903
00:47:59,543 --> 00:48:02,880
I try not to imagine, a future.
904
00:48:04,481 --> 00:48:06,382
I used to imagine a future,
905
00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:10,587
but I just kind of think,
let's be where we are today.
906
00:48:13,023 --> 00:48:15,125
I have a feeling it's
gonna get difficult,
907
00:48:16,493 --> 00:48:18,427
but I don't know that.
908
00:48:18,428 --> 00:48:20,296
I just don't know.
909
00:48:20,297 --> 00:48:21,899
I don't know.
910
00:48:31,675 --> 00:48:33,644
- I'm just not here.
911
00:48:41,985 --> 00:48:46,122
You know, I mean, I've been
inhabited by another person,
912
00:48:46,123 --> 00:48:49,625
and I don't know who
that person is, you know?
913
00:48:49,626 --> 00:48:51,962
I mean, I'm still trying
to learn who he is.
914
00:48:53,330 --> 00:48:57,301
This gaped mouth, this
guy I see in the window.
915
00:49:13,016 --> 00:49:15,018
You know, it's not fair.
916
00:49:19,022 --> 00:49:22,491
I mean...
917
00:50:06,436 --> 00:50:09,472
On the minimum
ladder, or an actual ladder
918
00:50:09,473 --> 00:50:11,340
because the problem,
919
00:50:11,341 --> 00:50:13,009
you know, when he's on an
eight-foot ladder, it's great
920
00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:14,143
because there's so many
921
00:50:14,144 --> 00:50:15,678
Ladder.
922
00:50:17,381 --> 00:50:19,382
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
923
00:50:19,383 --> 00:50:22,018
- It's awkward. I mean,
physically, it's awkward.
924
00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:24,620
So, the 9th of July
is the loading time.
925
00:50:24,621 --> 00:50:28,090
Robert, we'll talk in a
few minutes about props
926
00:50:28,091 --> 00:50:30,793
and what the designs
Robert's been thinking about.
927
00:50:30,794 --> 00:50:32,395
Yeah.
928
00:50:32,396 --> 00:50:34,030
I think we should decide
first on the floor,
929
00:50:34,031 --> 00:50:36,332
and then decide what
the windows solution is.
930
00:50:36,333 --> 00:50:38,200
Chris, one of the
things that we're talking about
931
00:50:38,201 --> 00:50:41,504
is hanging the windows
without a wall.
932
00:50:41,505 --> 00:50:42,805
Oh, are they all painted
black in the back?
933
00:50:42,806 --> 00:50:44,640
Mm-hmm.
934
00:50:44,641 --> 00:50:46,275
They're covered with
canvas and painted black.
935
00:50:46,276 --> 00:50:47,676
Oh, they're covered with canvas?
936
00:50:47,677 --> 00:50:49,311
- Yeah.
- Oh.
937
00:50:49,312 --> 00:50:51,180
He wants the
corner blocks to show.
938
00:50:51,181 --> 00:50:52,181
- I'm just wondering if the
whole day's kind of sunk
939
00:50:52,182 --> 00:50:53,315
into talking about tech.
940
00:50:53,316 --> 00:50:55,251
- No, we're not. 10 minutes.
941
00:50:55,252 --> 00:50:56,685
And I told him, I
said, "We gotta rehearse."
942
00:50:56,686 --> 00:50:59,355
- If the windows
were down here along,
943
00:50:59,356 --> 00:51:01,123
or on the same
line as the window.
944
00:51:01,124 --> 00:51:01,792
Yes. Yeah.
945
00:51:05,128 --> 00:51:07,664
Whereas us, we
don't have that same...
946
00:51:16,673 --> 00:51:19,341
We thought we'd
have like two weeks to run,
947
00:51:19,342 --> 00:51:22,144
every day, for two weeks.
948
00:51:22,145 --> 00:51:23,180
That's not happening.
949
00:51:24,848 --> 00:51:26,715
Because Chris and I,
950
00:51:26,716 --> 00:51:28,317
you know, we're very rarely
on the same medication.
951
00:51:28,318 --> 00:51:29,552
So, when I'm feeling
good, he's feeling bad,
952
00:51:29,553 --> 00:51:30,787
or we're both feeling bad.
953
00:51:42,165 --> 00:51:45,802
I want a bacon burger
and a Coke and a water.
954
00:51:54,177 --> 00:51:55,245
"Me to play."
955
00:51:57,514 --> 00:51:58,648
"Old Stauncher."
956
00:52:00,383 --> 00:52:01,851
"Can there be misery..."
957
00:52:01,852 --> 00:52:04,286
We ran yesterday,
and that was okay,
958
00:52:04,287 --> 00:52:05,822
but it was very, very rough.
959
00:52:07,324 --> 00:52:08,825
And the first 10
pages totally sucked.
960
00:52:11,728 --> 00:52:14,430
From the beginning, I'm
saying, I need to run the show
961
00:52:14,431 --> 00:52:16,165
because I have the most lines.
962
00:52:16,166 --> 00:52:18,534
I need to run the whole thing.
963
00:52:18,535 --> 00:52:21,604
I can't like, cut loose,
unless I know I know the lines.
964
00:52:21,605 --> 00:52:23,806
I know the lines,
then I can play.
965
00:52:23,807 --> 00:52:26,242
But if I don't know the
fucking lines, I can't play.
966
00:52:26,243 --> 00:52:28,244
- There's a lot of
anxiety about lines.
967
00:52:28,245 --> 00:52:30,846
Running lines is actually
getting to be a little compulsive.
968
00:52:32,749 --> 00:52:34,583
But again, it's not me that
has to stand up there
969
00:52:34,584 --> 00:52:37,920
and be able to, you know,
play with the words.
970
00:52:37,921 --> 00:52:39,522
He was
offered a job as a gardener.
971
00:52:41,191 --> 00:52:42,625
What is so funny about that?
972
00:52:42,626 --> 00:52:44,360
A job as gardener.
973
00:52:44,361 --> 00:52:45,494
- Is that what tickles you?
974
00:52:45,495 --> 00:52:47,296
It must be that.
975
00:53:19,496 --> 00:53:20,363
- Ah. Ah.
976
00:53:21,731 --> 00:53:22,898
"Me to play."
977
00:53:22,899 --> 00:53:24,700
"Me to play."
978
00:53:24,701 --> 00:53:25,669
"Me to play."
979
00:53:25,670 --> 00:53:27,536
"Me to play."
980
00:53:27,537 --> 00:53:28,605
"Me to play."
981
00:53:29,673 --> 00:53:30,740
"Me to play."
982
00:53:31,675 --> 00:53:32,742
"Me to play."
983
00:53:41,718 --> 00:53:43,253
11:59 A.M.
984
00:53:44,621 --> 00:53:46,990
Unless he emailed me
from his phone. Wait.
985
00:53:48,358 --> 00:53:49,825
I don't know. I don't know.
986
00:54:01,738 --> 00:54:03,740
Ah. Christopher?
987
00:54:05,408 --> 00:54:07,010
Chris. So, what happened?
988
00:54:09,813 --> 00:54:11,280
What do you mean?
989
00:54:11,281 --> 00:54:14,283
- Well, we were called at 12.
990
00:54:14,284 --> 00:54:15,985
I thought it was 1.
991
00:54:15,986 --> 00:54:17,953
- No. In fact, you were the
one that changed it yesterday.
992
00:54:17,954 --> 00:54:19,021
Oh, you thought it was 1?
993
00:54:19,022 --> 00:54:20,789
- Yeah.
- Okay.
994
00:54:20,790 --> 00:54:22,625
- I had 1 written down.
995
00:54:22,626 --> 00:54:25,327
- Yeah. All right. We
changed it to 12 yesterday.
996
00:54:25,328 --> 00:54:25,996
- Oh, I'm sorry.
997
00:54:29,499 --> 00:54:33,703
- Katie, take out the lights
and let's give it a go.
998
00:54:38,008 --> 00:54:39,375
- Line.
- Clov.
999
00:54:39,376 --> 00:54:41,845
Go to the chair, Chris.
1000
00:54:47,651 --> 00:54:48,818
- Line.
- Clov.
1001
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:51,620
- Clov.
1002
00:54:51,621 --> 00:54:52,755
- Yes?
1003
00:54:52,756 --> 00:54:53,889
- Nature has forgotten us.
1004
00:54:53,890 --> 00:54:55,057
- There's no more nature.
1005
00:54:55,058 --> 00:54:56,492
- No more nature?
1006
00:54:56,493 --> 00:54:57,626
You exaggerate.
1007
00:54:57,627 --> 00:54:58,762
In the vicinity.
1008
00:55:00,630 --> 00:55:01,765
- Time enough.
1009
00:55:13,677 --> 00:55:14,810
Line.
1010
00:55:14,811 --> 00:55:15,944
Give me my pain.
1011
00:55:15,945 --> 00:55:16,945
- Give me my painkillers.
1012
00:55:16,946 --> 00:55:18,648
It's too soon.
1013
00:55:19,783 --> 00:55:21,417
She has no pulse.
1014
00:55:21,418 --> 00:55:23,085
What was she blathering about?
1015
00:55:23,086 --> 00:55:25,721
She told me to
go away into the desert.
1016
00:55:25,722 --> 00:55:28,757
Damn
busybody. Is that all?
1017
00:55:47,544 --> 00:55:48,945
You lost?
1018
00:55:54,451 --> 00:55:55,884
- Line.
1019
00:55:55,885 --> 00:55:58,654
What are you insinuating?
1020
00:55:58,655 --> 00:56:01,690
- What are you insinuating,
1021
00:56:01,691 --> 00:56:03,493
that the place is
still inhabited?
1022
00:56:04,994 --> 00:56:06,862
No.
1023
00:56:06,863 --> 00:56:11,066
No, not a soul, except
for himself and the child,
1024
00:56:11,067 --> 00:56:12,702
assuming he existed.
1025
00:56:27,417 --> 00:56:28,884
Line.
1026
00:56:28,885 --> 00:56:31,019
Good. I
inquired about...
1027
00:56:31,020 --> 00:56:31,888
- Good.
1028
00:56:32,822 --> 00:56:34,157
I inquired about Kov.
1029
00:56:36,159 --> 00:56:40,497
I inquired about the situation
at Kov, beyond the gulf.
1030
00:56:44,701 --> 00:56:45,834
Line.
1031
00:56:45,835 --> 00:56:47,035
Bring me under...
1032
00:57:07,891 --> 00:57:09,892
- So, I'm the problem.
1033
00:57:11,895 --> 00:57:13,629
Great.
1034
00:57:13,630 --> 00:57:15,464
Was it a concentration
thing, do you think,
1035
00:57:15,465 --> 00:57:18,534
or was it a cognitive thing,
or a medication thing?
1036
00:57:18,535 --> 00:57:20,803
Or just, you went up and
then you started thinking?
1037
00:57:20,804 --> 00:57:22,738
- There's just so
much fucking words.
1038
00:57:22,739 --> 00:57:24,540
- Yeah, there are.
You know them.
1039
00:57:24,541 --> 00:57:25,874
You know the mass majority
of, you know them.
1040
00:57:25,875 --> 00:57:27,743
You know that section.
1041
00:57:27,744 --> 00:57:28,812
You just, you went up.
1042
00:57:37,086 --> 00:57:37,954
- Fuck.
1043
00:57:57,507 --> 00:57:59,575
Don't worry, man.
1044
00:57:59,576 --> 00:58:00,909
Not to worry.
1045
00:58:00,910 --> 00:58:03,212
Don't feel bad at all.
1046
00:58:03,213 --> 00:58:05,914
You're a monster.
1047
00:58:05,915 --> 00:58:07,716
You've done a great thing.
1048
00:58:07,717 --> 00:58:09,818
It's just the beginning.
Don't feel bad.
1049
00:58:09,819 --> 00:58:11,253
I'm fucking it up.
1050
00:58:11,254 --> 00:58:13,890
You're not fucking it up.
1051
00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:19,194
It's like you're taking
batting practice, right?
1052
00:58:19,195 --> 00:58:22,732
And they're pitching,
and just keep swinging.
1053
00:58:26,503 --> 00:58:28,838
- I can't seem to
enjoy myself out there.
1054
00:58:38,214 --> 00:58:39,983
We're not doing
this. We're done.
1055
00:58:41,751 --> 00:58:43,887
- Don't fret. Come on.
1056
00:58:45,855 --> 00:58:47,289
He's gonna do it.
1057
00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:49,024
- Sometimes you just
have to be upset.
1058
00:58:49,025 --> 00:58:49,993
- Yeah, I guess so.
1059
00:58:52,795 --> 00:58:54,263
I think what
Beckett's trying to say
1060
00:58:54,264 --> 00:58:56,064
is that we gotta get
to this kinda stuff.
1061
00:58:56,065 --> 00:58:59,067
This is a play about overcoming,
not a play about caving.
1062
00:58:59,068 --> 00:59:01,136
You know, we gotta go
on, you know what I mean?
1063
00:59:01,137 --> 00:59:03,739
We go on. He says it a
million times, we go on.
1064
00:59:03,740 --> 00:59:05,875
That's kind of the interesting,
1065
00:59:07,243 --> 00:59:09,611
you know, aspect
that's really good.
1066
00:59:09,612 --> 00:59:14,082
It allows us to really
feel all this shit,
1067
00:59:14,083 --> 00:59:14,951
and then move on.
1068
00:59:27,931 --> 00:59:28,798
Clov?
1069
00:59:28,799 --> 00:59:30,632
Yes?
1070
00:59:30,633 --> 00:59:31,301
Do you not think
this has gone on long enough?
1071
00:59:31,301 --> 00:59:31,935
Yes.
1072
00:59:33,336 --> 00:59:34,703
What?
1073
00:59:34,704 --> 00:59:36,705
This. This thing.
1074
00:59:36,706 --> 00:59:38,340
I've always thought so.
1075
00:59:38,341 --> 00:59:39,942
You not?
1076
00:59:39,943 --> 00:59:41,276
Then it's a
day like any other day.
1077
00:59:41,277 --> 00:59:42,879
As long as it lasts.
1078
00:59:49,252 --> 00:59:52,321
Samuel Beckett in "Endgame"
1079
00:59:52,322 --> 00:59:55,190
is pretty much telling the same,
1080
00:59:55,191 --> 00:59:57,694
"I can't go on, I'll go on."
1081
00:59:59,929 --> 01:00:01,630
But the food's gone.
The rations are gone.
1082
01:00:01,631 --> 01:00:03,365
It all looks, it looks
grim for our boys,
1083
01:00:03,366 --> 01:00:05,267
but there's always tomorrow.
1084
01:00:05,268 --> 01:00:07,804
There's always another
day. So, you never know.
1085
01:00:16,879 --> 01:00:18,347
I think the whole trick
1086
01:00:18,348 --> 01:00:19,915
is to get you off
on the right foot
1087
01:00:19,916 --> 01:00:21,750
because I know
what's gonna happen.
1088
01:00:21,751 --> 01:00:23,619
You're gonna get about a
dozen laughs at the beginning,
1089
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:25,153
and that's gonna set you up.
1090
01:00:25,154 --> 01:00:27,289
'Cause I notice it, it
really affects you guys,
1091
01:00:27,290 --> 01:00:28,957
- you know what I mean?
- Yeah.
1092
01:00:28,958 --> 01:00:30,792
- It really makes
you feel happier.
1093
01:00:30,793 --> 01:00:31,661
- Feel a little good.
- And you start to enjoy it.
1094
01:00:31,661 --> 01:00:32,629
- Both hams.
1095
01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:36,765
There always tends
to be strange up and downs
1096
01:00:36,766 --> 01:00:39,301
just before audiences come in.
1097
01:00:39,302 --> 01:00:41,303
I don't know what it
is about forgetting the lines.
1098
01:00:41,304 --> 01:00:42,904
I don't know why
I'm so scared of it.
1099
01:00:42,905 --> 01:00:43,972
I guess 'cause I don't
want the audience
1100
01:00:43,973 --> 01:00:45,907
to feel uncomfortable.
1101
01:00:45,908 --> 01:00:47,709
But it's probably more about me.
1102
01:00:47,710 --> 01:00:49,111
It's probably more
about me being afraid
1103
01:00:49,112 --> 01:00:51,781
of being caught
with my pants down.
1104
01:00:53,416 --> 01:00:56,051
My fear was that
I would be a black hole.
1105
01:00:56,052 --> 01:00:59,722
My energy would suck the
play into a nothingness.
1106
01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:17,305
- Ruthie was asking me,
she said, "Isn't it fun?"
1107
01:01:17,306 --> 01:01:19,441
And I said, "Well, yeah.
1108
01:01:19,442 --> 01:01:21,143
I said, but you know,
1109
01:01:21,144 --> 01:01:23,679
the guy is talking about
the end of his life."
1110
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,047
I said, "There's
shit I gotta say
1111
01:01:25,048 --> 01:01:27,349
that I have to
mean and be a part,
1112
01:01:27,350 --> 01:01:29,985
that is not fun to touch,"
1113
01:01:29,986 --> 01:01:33,455
especially, you know, with
Parkinson's and all that shit,
1114
01:01:33,456 --> 01:01:36,158
and feeling like I'm gonna die.
1115
01:01:36,159 --> 01:01:38,161
- Half hour. Has
everybody medicated up?
1116
01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:43,866
Have a good time. I think
that it's gonna just be great.
1117
01:01:45,468 --> 01:01:48,236
- In Endgame, Beckett
says, "There'll come a time
1118
01:01:48,237 --> 01:01:53,242
when you'll say, "I'm
tired. I'll sit down,"
1119
01:01:55,445 --> 01:01:57,779
then you'll go and sit down,
1120
01:01:57,780 --> 01:02:00,315
and then you'll
say, "I'm hungry.
1121
01:02:00,316 --> 01:02:03,753
I'll get up and get something
to eat," but you won't get up.
1122
01:02:05,855 --> 01:02:09,091
And you'll say, "I
shouldn't have sat down,
1123
01:02:09,092 --> 01:02:12,095
but since I have, I'll
sit down a little longer,
1124
01:02:13,463 --> 01:02:15,363
then I'll get up and
get something to eat."
1125
01:02:15,364 --> 01:02:17,500
But you won't get up and
get something to eat.
1126
01:02:19,335 --> 01:02:21,104
You'll look at the wall a while.
1127
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,976
You'll say, "I'll close my eyes,
1128
01:02:28,778 --> 01:02:32,147
perhaps have a little sleep,
then I'll feel better,"
1129
01:02:32,148 --> 01:02:35,150
and you'll close them, and
when you open them again,
1130
01:02:35,151 --> 01:02:37,386
there'll be no wall anymore.
1131
01:02:38,888 --> 01:02:41,057
Infinite emptiness
will be all around you.
1132
01:02:42,992 --> 01:02:46,262
All the resurrected dead of
all the ages wouldn't fill it,
1133
01:02:47,296 --> 01:02:49,197
and there you'll be,
1134
01:02:49,198 --> 01:02:53,002
like a little bit of grit
in the middle of a steppe."
1135
01:02:55,138 --> 01:02:56,005
It's perfect.
1136
01:02:57,373 --> 01:02:59,241
Now, that's the shit
I read, and I go,
1137
01:02:59,242 --> 01:03:01,277
"Yeah, yeah, you got it, man."
1138
01:03:03,212 --> 01:03:04,447
You're talking a language.
1139
01:03:05,515 --> 01:03:08,316
You know, that's what it's like.
1140
01:03:08,317 --> 01:03:09,985
Just checking on both of you.
1141
01:03:09,986 --> 01:03:11,820
I figured, yeah,
I'll check on them.
1142
01:03:11,821 --> 01:03:13,155
If it gets too much,
we'll go with
1143
01:03:13,156 --> 01:03:14,190
Okay. Great.
1144
01:03:15,558 --> 01:03:17,125
You guys ready?
1145
01:03:17,126 --> 01:03:18,326
- Ladies and gentlemen,
the house is open!
1146
01:03:22,498 --> 01:03:26,902
There's all kinds
of odd invasions of the mind
1147
01:03:26,903 --> 01:03:29,337
just before audiences come in.
1148
01:03:29,338 --> 01:03:31,206
It's so weird how it happens.
1149
01:03:31,207 --> 01:03:33,508
I should've known after
acting for 40 years.
1150
01:03:33,509 --> 01:03:36,244
I used to get very
concerned about it,
1151
01:03:36,245 --> 01:03:37,913
but now I realize,
1152
01:03:37,914 --> 01:03:39,881
that's where the real
communication happens.
1153
01:03:39,882 --> 01:03:43,251
Audiences change
the whole equation.
1154
01:04:16,953 --> 01:04:18,554
- "Me to play."
1155
01:04:30,299 --> 01:04:31,299
- How do you feel?
1156
01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:33,368
- I don't complain.
1157
01:04:35,538 --> 01:04:36,872
- Do you feel normal?
1158
01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:41,309
- I tell you, I don't complain.
1159
01:04:41,310 --> 01:04:44,279
- I feel a little strange.
1160
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:45,447
Clov.
- Yes?
1161
01:04:45,448 --> 01:04:46,915
- Have you not had enough?
1162
01:04:46,916 --> 01:04:50,585
Yes.
1163
01:04:50,586 --> 01:04:51,653
Of what?
1164
01:04:59,629 --> 01:05:02,430
- This is not much fun.
1165
01:05:06,402 --> 01:05:08,004
- There's your dog for you.
1166
01:05:09,171 --> 01:05:10,305
- He hit me.
1167
01:05:10,306 --> 01:05:12,274
- You drive me mad. I'm mad!
1168
01:05:12,275 --> 01:05:15,644
- If you must hit me, hit
me with the ax, not the dog.
1169
01:05:17,914 --> 01:05:20,582
With the gaff or with the ax.
1170
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:22,317
- Nothing is funnier
than unhappiness,
1171
01:05:22,318 --> 01:05:24,519
I grant you that, but...
1172
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:27,555
- What about having a good
guffaw together, the two of us?
1173
01:05:27,556 --> 01:05:30,292
- Oh, I couldn't
guffaw again today.
1174
01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:37,400
- Old stauncher.
1175
01:05:42,405 --> 01:05:43,673
You remain.
1176
01:06:39,295 --> 01:06:41,096
Thanks for this.
1177
01:06:41,097 --> 01:06:42,098
- Thank you.
1178
01:06:44,233 --> 01:06:45,500
You did such a great job.
1179
01:06:45,501 --> 01:06:47,635
Obliged.
1180
01:06:57,747 --> 01:07:00,149
- Beyond my wildest imagination.
1181
01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:06,222
I'm just so moved by
their response.
1182
01:07:17,666 --> 01:07:19,134
Brilliant.
1183
01:07:19,135 --> 01:07:20,802
- Brilliant. Brilliant.
- Brilliant.
1184
01:07:20,803 --> 01:07:22,604
- I'm sorry for catching
you with your trousers down.
1185
01:07:22,605 --> 01:07:23,472
But that's a very
1186
01:07:23,473 --> 01:07:25,373
Beckett moment.
1187
01:07:25,374 --> 01:07:27,510
It was the clearest I've
ever known the play to be.
1188
01:07:29,512 --> 01:07:31,414
It made complete sense.
1189
01:07:59,708 --> 01:08:01,576
When I commit to a project,
1190
01:08:01,577 --> 01:08:04,145
one of the things that
I'm sort of curious about
1191
01:08:04,146 --> 01:08:07,316
is who will I meet
in the person of me?
1192
01:08:08,451 --> 01:08:13,189
And I was pretty proud of
1193
01:08:15,357 --> 01:08:16,659
who I found on this one.
1194
01:08:19,528 --> 01:08:21,396
One of the reasons
I wanted to do "Endgame"
1195
01:08:21,397 --> 01:08:23,665
was because I thought
that would be a sweet show
1196
01:08:23,666 --> 01:08:26,334
to end my career on.
1197
01:08:26,335 --> 01:08:31,340
If this is the last play I ever
do, I'll be happy with that.
1198
01:08:35,311 --> 01:08:36,312
I don't think it is.