We are two singles watching Single Life.
You ready?
-Oh. -See, they're barely even hurt.
Mine are actually, like, a little bit longer, but they're blonde
so you can't tell.
My vagina would be a great place to start.
[Debbie] I've met a nice man.
What's his full name, date of birth, and social security number?
Oh, hell no.
I want to know everything about this guy.
I want to know where he eat, sleep, and [bleep], Mom.
Have you ever ran a background check on somebody?
You know I have.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you do one on me?
-Yeah. -Oh, [bleep].
[speaking in Spanish]
Tim like that [bleep].
Tim like, yeah, speak more Spanish, baby.
[Anny speaking]
Well, check it out. We could go to Greece
right into the kitchen, and you could wash the dishes
and all that oil that's in there because it's grease.
Well, hang out in the kitchen and go wash that grease.
There you go.
Woo, woo, woo.
Yeah, no underwears.
[Emily] Babe!
[groans] Where are you?
-Shh. -What?
Why are you shushing me?
Are they actually asleep or are they pretending to sleep?
You don't want to wake them up, okay?
[whispers] No, I don't.
-Let's whisper. -Shh.
I'm whispering. Why are you shushing me?
[whispers] Okay, that's okay.
My gosh, they're three rooms away.
[Elizabeth] Baby, come on. It's about to start.
What do you think today? It's going to be...
-fire like last week. -Do you think Chantel's
going to do another like goldfish kiss?
Ugh, this was disgusting.
You can tell that she's a little rusty.
-[Riley] Hey, hey, hey. -[Kim] Hey, my friend.
-What's going on? Yeah. -I'm so happy to see you.
Give me hugs.
-Welcome to San Diego. -Thank you.
-Welcome to my house. -Word, yeah.
Yeah, ain't no way in the world I could have came here and not visit you.
How crazy is it that we slid in each other's DMs
and now you're sitting on my couch?
-Actually, you slid into mine, but... -Okay, I kind of did.
No, but it is crazy, right?
But I'm single. I can do what I want.
[both exclaiming]
You look handsome sitting on my couch.
You know, 'cause this is my seat now.
Okay, we'll see about that.
Anyway, are you ready to watch the show?
-Let's watch the show. -Okay, let's watch.
Okay.
♪ I feel it ♪
Oh, where we at? Oh, I know where we at.
We with Debbie.
Debbie, yeah. Sugar Hill, yep.
Woo-hoo!
Looking good, Debbie. Let's get you a man.
Today, my son Julian is going to take me
grocery shopping before he goes to work.
Oh, my gosh, he's taking Debbie on a ride-along.
Her seat belt's too high, though.
Miss Debbie, you got to put it...
Yes.
Lower it a little bit.
You know I've been in the back of a cop car before.
It is not fun.
I know it's not, 'cause I've used to put people
-like you in the back of... -You said people like me.
I am reformed, sir.
Whoo.
Julian was so ticked off when I left for Morocco.
And I think after the affair, Julian's been more protective.
Hey, we always ticked off, 'cause Oussama ain't treat you right.
He had to protect you. He's the only son you have.
For real. And Oussama didn't protect her either,
because she fell off that damn donkey.
-He ain't hit the ground first. -Yeah.
That's how Jamal lives with me, you know?
He was mad I slipped in your DMs.
At first.
-Now he's my son. -Now he loves you.
So anyway, so what's new?
Well, to be honest with you, I got into an online
dating site.
What?
I've met a nice man.
His name is Russ. He lives here locally.
What's his full name, date of birth, and social security number?
Oh, hell no.
-[laughing] -Oh, my gosh.
I want to know his foul. I want to know everything.
I want to know where he eat, sleep, and [bleep], Mom.
I want to know everything about this guy.
Yeah.
-You're a sexy cop. -All right, okay.
Do you still have your handcuffs?
-Yeah. -[laughs]
Have you ever ran a background check on somebody?
Yo, come on. Really?
You know I have.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I don't play. -Did you do one on me?
-Yeah. -Oh. [bleep]
You were good to go. There's nothing in there
-questionable. -Shoo.
I decided to set up a dating profile to meet
the right kind of guy that'll be perfect for me.
And there was Russ.
We've been texting.
Wow, good morning, gorgeous. Okay, he's going all the way in.
Oh, I love that.
A good morning text does mean a lot,
especially when you first talk.
You texted me every morning, good morning.
You were obsessed.
I know.
I'm obsessed with you, too.
I'm just talking about at the beginning.
I told him I was 57, and I feel terribly guilty
for doing that.
[both laughing]
She better do her makeup real good.
-Why'd you do that? -I don't know why.
I was scared if I put my real age of 67,
nobody would want to meet me.
-That's not true. There's a million 67-year-olds. -No.
I believe nobody wants Miss Debbie if she's 67 years old.
I mean, honestly, though, what woman hasn't lied about her age?
I mean, me, but... No, maybe when I was a teenager, I lied.
-She looks really good for 67.. -She looks really good.
Like, really good.
She's got nice legs.
I don't know about that.
-I've seen her legs when she was riding the donkey. -Well, I haven't.
-She had nice legs. -All right.
Lord have mercy on me. I just don't understand what
goes through your mind sometimes.
Debbie's gonna go on her first date!
Whoo-hoo!
Good luck, Debbie!
You know, I'm kind of scared to start dating again,
but I know Jamal's gonna be standing in front of me like a brick wall.
He's gonna be like, no!
And I'll be right behind him going, "What he said."
"What he said."
Hmm.
All right, babe, are you out of water?
-Yeah. -I want to go get some.
All right, just pause the TV. Let me get some...
Water. Come here, my love.
Oh, we in Vegas, baby.
Who's in Vegas? Oh, John.
-Ah, John. -Is it John?
-Oh, it's John. -John.
Yay.
-Ooh, John, I'm sorry. -Oh, hell no.
Jesus.
Oh, damn, that looks painful.
John broke up with Thais and Patrick.
John solo, man, that's no, hell no, man.
-That's why you gotta use razors for that. -[bleep]
I'm not doing that. That lady, like, she doing that on purpose.
Oh, yeah, baby, I got a surprise for you.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm speechless.
You don't have to be. I'm full of surprises, my love.
I have chips and salsa and pretzels and,
oh, the gummy, the kid's gummy snacks.
Uh-huh.
Babe, this is so cute!
-Where did you even find this idea? -Gosh.
Cheers.
I'm John, 39 years old, from Winston, Massachusetts.
Now I live in Las Vegas.
-Yes! -John, my man.
Welcome to the single life, bud.
John, John.
Long johns?
You ready?
-Oh, see? -See? That barely even hurt.
[John] Yeah.
So I'll do that.
You know, clean the nose out.
Let me check your nose, baby. How is it?
Good. Your hairs are good.
Mine are actually, like, a little bit longer, but they're blond
so you can't tell.
Oh, stop.
My nose is perfect.
Okay, I've never been waxed before,
but then remember my friend Sarah got waxed,
and she was like, it's great, it's great.
My vagina would be a great place to start.
Anybody that's known me for long enough knows
I've been single for a while.
You know, I like to single and mingle, you know?
You got to test the waters out, as they say.
And I used to pride myself on being a professional bachelor.
What the [bleep] is a professional bachelor?
-You and I were single for a long time before we... -Yeah.
I mean, I was talking to somebody in America.
Then I met you.
Yeah, that was kind of what I was doing.
And we worked out, so I feel like it's fine. "With different ladies."
Okay.
-Okay. -Mm-hmm.
[John] My brother and I, Patrick, used to live together,
and I had it pretty much made.
Now my winging is gone because Patrick met Thais.
Oh, stop.
They're brothers. They're always going to be brothers.
Eh?
-Oh... [exclaims] -You good?
-Ah. -You're good?
She's so cute.
Hell, no.
John probably get that baby...
[Patrick] See yourself having one of these?
-No. -Why don't you want to have kids?
Yeah.
I mean, I wake up when I want, eat when I want,
do whatever I want when I want.
Uncle John's right.
You have a baby, you don't wake up when you want to wake up.
You don't eat when you want to eat.
I mean, dads usually eat before whenever they want to eat,
but moms don't.
Well, he's got to find a girl first.
Well, I've been talking to a girl.
You know, I talked to a girl.
You know, I went and saw Megan.
Who the girl?
Who Megan?
Okay, John, talking to the girls. I love it.
I love it for your life.
Since moving to Vegas, I was pretty much hooking up
with random women,
but five months ago, everything changed
when Megan hit me up in my DMs.
-Wow. -She's cute.
-Oh, my God. -Okay, Megan.
Oh, she's beautiful.
The majority of our time spent together was in the bed.
Orgasms for days.
We were wondering that, so thanks for clearing the air on that.
Well, you know, you got to test the horse before you...
Yeah.
So you guys exclusive?
[Thais speaking]
Well, I mean, she kind of, like, mentioned it at one point,
-and then I kind of... I took the hint. -[Thais] Oh, she--
Ah, John threw the towel in.
Oh, yeah, she kind of was begging for that.
Sounds like, to me, you're in over your head.
I know what I'm doing. It's just trust the process.
It's a process.
I'm so excited to see John from Boston on Single Life.
[in Boston accent] Get my coffee, my car keys.
[in normal voice] Do you know a Boston accent? Do you notice it?
I just said you're talking weird.
Is that the accent?
I think they're fun accents.
[speaking in Spanish]
Michael would have been there with roses for each of them.
Probably a freaking cat and dog or something.
What if I greeted you at the airport with like a little puppy?
Surprise, we had another.
Okay, what are we here for?
We're here to find nice men at this resort.
-At this resort. -And outside of here.
-Outside of here. Outside of here. -Four hours. Four hours.
Mooney and Kaylee are not impressed.
Mooney's pineapple haircut is going to fall off.
You wouldn't drive four and a half hours to see me?
-No. -Uh-oh.
Okay.
[Riley] I'm hungry. We should order something.
[Kim] Oh, no, honey, I got something for you.
-Oh, boy, more surprises. -Yeah, a little surprise.
-More surprises. -Okay.
What do we got back there?
You're gonna get a kick out of this.
-[gasps] -Bam!
Back from our Army days.
Oh, wow. Look, look, look, look.
-There you go. -So this one is vegetable lasagna.
I'm not a vegetarian.
-Okay. -Cheese tortellini.
Oh, I want that one.
Wait, hold on. Wait.
Back in Army days, we have to barter. Barter.
-Okay, I know, but still. -What do you have?
-Ooh, chili mac. -All right, all right.
I'll give you the cheese tortellini for the chili mac.
-Okay. -All right.
Same time, man. I don't know you. Same time.
I don't know you like that either. All right.
[upbeat music playing]
Oh, I like that music.
It's nice with the fishing and stuff.
Damn, I need a drink right now to see the fishing.
Oh, there's Natalie!
I'm gonna try the vegetarian lasagna.
I only eat food that used to have parents.
Okay.
All right, here we go.
How is it?
Oh!
How does it taste?
-Mm-mm. -Exactly.
[upbeat music playing]
[Natalie speaking foreign language]
Oh, yay, they have a home.
Oh, no, that's a different one.
How are they right on the beach?
How did that happen?
[Natalie in English] Finally find a place to live.
Just help me so much.
I talked to the landlord, and I explained all
the financials.
Okay, you get an A for effort, Josh,
'cause I ain't gonna lie, I was doubting you, bro.
I was doubting you, but, you know, you're turning around.
Wait, is Josh paying for this apartment?
-He definitely has to be paying for this apartment. -Yeah.
[Natalie speaking foreign language]
Michael, wait, what?
Ah, Mommy love Mike.
That's right, Mommy love Mike.
That's right, Mommy knows best.
[Natalie in English]
But how long is that gonna take, Natalie? It's been a while.
-Nah, Josh just wanna have fun. -Yeah.
[Natalie speaking]
Uh, Natalie, I think Josh already made an impression
for your mom by getting her a home.
I'm team Natalie's mom. I don't know.
I just don't know.
Mike is not in the picture.
Michael's always in the picture.
You best believe if we see Natalie, Michael's not far away.
[Natalie speaking]
Nah, he don't.
Josh only care about one thing.
Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, and I'm out.
-[Josh] Hello. -Hi, it's my mom.
-How are you? -I'm good.
Hello, beautiful. Nice to see you.
-Aw. -Gentleman.
-Aw. -Sometimes.
He didn't pick 'em up at the airport.
Oh, he gave her a hug. Okay, that's a good sign.
She could have been like, no, don't touch me.
Don't touch me. [in Russian]
Tell me something about Natalie that I wouldn't know
or something interesting about Natalie.
[speaking foreign language]
Yeah, she's still in the drama group.
Ain't nothing changed.
I don't know. I hate when people do that.
Like, they'll come up to me and be like, tell me something about Jamal.
And I'm like, I'm not gonna do that.
That's my son. I'm not gonna do that.
Like, really?
Yeah, I don't know. It's just weird to me.
-I don't know. -I'll snitch. Y'all can contact me.
I'll snitch on him.
[speaking foreign language]
-Her mama knows her best. -Yeah.
If I was Josh, I would be like,
there's too much requirements.
-I don't think I can do this. -[laughs]
I tried to be the best man that I can be.
[speaking foreign language]
-I know. -Yeah, for real.
Look at that little old lady struggling with suitcases.
Like, where were you?
Michael would have been there with roses for each of them.
Probably a freaking cat and dog or something.
Wouldn't it be funny? What if I greeted you at
the airport with, like, a little puppy?
Surprise, we had another.
[Natalie speaking]
-Hmm. Natalie. -Okay, so you know what she should have done.
-Has not moved here yet? -Let's say that again.
Say it from my good ear. What?
And not moved there yet?
Maybe they should have gave it a trial basis
before we brought mom all the way over here.
-Facts. -You know what I mean?
-Yeah, well... -Like, come on, man.
-Where are we? -Greece!
Greece. Are we in Greece?
-Oh! -Chantel!
Bye, Pedro!
Look at Chantel looking all pretty in her dress.
-You guys look cute. -Y'all look cute.
Y'all look cute.
-Hi, Barbie. -Hi, Barbie.
Hey, Ken.
He's so cute.
-Do you have the Greek salad? Is he the Greek salad? -Oh, do you know what I heard?
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the Greek salad?
-I don't know. -I don't know either.
Are we too old for that? I don't know what a Greek salad is.
The perfect Greek man would be called a Greek salad.
It would be the career, the character,
and the cucumber.
Wow, the cucumber.
I don't think he has a big cucumber. I don't know.
I hope he wears gray sweatpants soon. Then we can find out.
So, do you want to take him on a date?
Like, a moment with just you guys?
So I was work--
-What invitation? Hold on now. -What invitation?
Invitation?
Why?
Why weren't we invited?
He actually invited us to come to his hometown.
Okay.
He said that he's gonna bring all of his friends,
and then we'll get to really know who he is.
-Wow. -Oh.
He's moving fast.
That's a lot.
I'm sorry. That's a little much.
She's living her best life.
Nah, that sounds like you're moving too fast.
[both] Mm.
The only issue is it's on the other side of the island.
And how far do we actually have to go?
But it's going to be an experience.
Ooh, four hours.
Okay, what are we here for?
We're here to find nice men at this resort.
-At this resort. -And outside of here.
-Four hours? Four hours? -Outside of here.
-Four hours.
Mooney and Kaylee are not impressed.
Mooney's pineapple haircut is going to fall off.
You wouldn't drive four and a half hours to see me?
-No. -Oh.
Okay.
Well, it's like I would go, though.
-Yeah. -Do it for the story.
That was my motto.
I did you for the story, and I ended up pregnant.
Tonight, we going out. Let's go. Crew love on three.
-Three, two, one. -[all] Crew love.
-One, two, three. -[both] Crew love.
Yay.
Mooney's like the hype man that everyone needs.
I believe every girl needs a fun gay best friend.
-I have one. -It ain't me, right?
No, it's not you.
That would really put the romantic perspective
on pause for me and you.
Hot damn. Oh, man.
-Just off, but look, remember, I haven't done this in... -Five years?
More.
Wait, she's going to go to mini golf?
But that's a fun date.
I guess, but not wearing all that to mini golf?
-Well, she has Liberace's closet, so... -I mean...
[Kobe speaking]
[Emily] Uh-huh?
Ooh, make me like a princess that goes down my, like,
goes down my shoulder.
Now my hopes are up, so don't not do it.
Oh, man.
-Ow. Ow! -Sorry.
Gosh, be a little more gentle, could ya?
Oh, my wah. I'm killing it, girl.
Woo! Scarlett's gonna love it.
Wow! That's a good braid.
But I'm gonna take it out. It was really good.
It was really good out here.
-It was, like, really tight. -For my first time?
Yeah.
-Sugar Hill, that's Debbie, Miss Debbie. -Debbie.
♪ Want a little bit more ♪
Come on, Miss Debbie. Give me something here.
Let's roll them dice.
You gonna make me find that love.
Look at her. Go, Debbie, go.
-I told you she got nice legs. I told you. -She looks really good.
-She looks beautiful right there. -Yup!
I hope I look that good at 67.
Hi.
It's me.
That's right, Debbie.
And let Russ unwrap that for you.
Yeah.
But it's good to finally meet you.
[Russ] My name is Russ.
I'm 60 years old, and I'm from Covington, Georgia.
Oh, he's cute!
He reminds me of older Julian.
That's what he reminds me of.
I wonder if he gonna say, you don't look the same.
You don't look no 57.
-Let's go play some golf. -Go play golf.
Wait, she's gonna go to mini golf?
But that's a fun date.
I guess, but not wearing all that to mini golf?
-Well, she has Liberace's closet, so... -I mean...
Hot damn. Oh, man.
Just off.
-But look, remember, I haven't done this in... -Five years?
More.
More, more, more, more, more.
Russ, you got to let her win.
I don't know, Anny. Different strokes, different folks.
Maybe she might have fun.
Don't mind me while I watch it.
Okay. Okay.
Hey, I may not have a butt, Russ, but I got assets.
[laughing]
-Oh, my gosh. -Miss Debbie is funny.
I hate that I'm gonna say this,
but she looks like she's a freak.
Okay, I wouldn't have gone that far with it, but okay.
I had a feeling you were a real sincere person, loyal.
But I told a lie.
Okay, what's your lie?
Well, I'm 67 years old.
Oh, let's see how he reacts.
He'll be like, okay.
-That was a 10-year... -I got to go to the bathroom.
That was a 10-year gap.
I don't think he's going to care.
After a certain age, it's like having $10 million
versus having $12 million.
It's just... It's all the same.
You're a millionaire.
Okay.
Hey, she lied. At least she came clean with it.
-Don't worry about it. -It's okay with you?
It's just a number.
Oh, what a nice guy.
Wow.
-Nice, nice. -I like Russ.
High five.
Okay, Russ, let's see if you mean it.
Now that I have my liquid courage,
I want to be upfront with you because I admire you.
-I had an online romance. -Okay.
He was an artist from Morocco, and the shocker came
when he told me his age.
She's spilling all the beans on this first date.
-Yeah, she's an honest person. -Good. You got to get it off your chest.
It's the first date.
-I don't think she needs to go that far into things. -Yeah.
You got a win with the age thing.
-Just let it go and just enjoy that moment. -Yeah.
-How old was he? -24 years old.
No, Miss Debbie, why?
Why are you telling him this right now?
He was a baby.
That's too young. He's your grandkid.
I don't know about you, but, you know,
I'm still kind of interested in going out again.
How about you?
Sure.
But I'm out.
Sound like he's shutting down the shop.
-He went, sure, with his eyes like... Down. -Sure, like...
Debbie, do not go out with him again.
-Why? -Do not.
It's a beginning of something.
No, no, if he was interested, he'd be like, absolutely.
-Hey, Russ, thanks a lot. You're sweet. -You're welcome.
[Debbie] I hope I didn't overshare and scare him off.
I've already had my fair share of screwing up.
That's it? Date's over?
Yep.
No smooch?
No touching her ass?
Like, what the [bleep] is this guy?
I think she would do really well with, like,
a dating coach or somebody to, like, guide her,
give her some tips, get a book, you know?
Sorry, this cat hair is driving me crazy.
I don't mean to... I'm not pawing all over you.
[imitates cat]
[Tim] I find Latinas to be beautiful.
I love the accent.
They can't even say your name right.
-Say his name. -Tim.
Ting. Ting.
[Anny speaking]
Ugh, and two eyes and a mouth.
That cake is gross.
I'm not a frosting cream guy.
Good, great.
And don't complain to me later.
[imitates groaning]
Yeah. [imitates Anny] Let's watch. Let's watch.
Timbo!
-Oh, come on. -Oh, Tim!
-All right. -I'm loving the pink jacket, Tim.
This is the kind of [bleep] you have to do on dates with girls,
is make them feel like you're fun and adventurous.
And you gotta, you know,
get to know them a little bit before you just pull the,
eh, let's stay in and watch movies all day
and play video games.
Gotta get all juiced up, look good.
Babe, what the [bleep] is with his hair, babe?
What is he doing?
He's going for the mountain look.
His voice is so blase all the time.
[imitates Tim] "I'm gonna stay in and watch movies all day."
"You know.
Oh, do I have to wake up?"
I'm gonna take Luisa from the singles event to play croquet.
-Oh, croquet? -Yeah, I figured--
Yeah, you'd be impressed.
Where did croquet come from?
I was thinking, like, it's easy to chat.
You're not into mini golf, like Miss Debbie?
Croquet, that's, like, actually a royal game.
-It's like... Yeah. -Super old, old, old game.
My grandparents had a croquet set,
-and we would set it up in their backyard. -Nice.
It's kind of like a little mini golf course.
-Yeah, yeah, you just [bleep]. -Mm-hmm.
-It's time to get back on that horse. -I'm very excited.
Yeah.
-Giddy up. -I'm giddyin'.
I don't see you giddyin'.
Yeah.
Giddy up, giddy up. Yeah, yeah.
That was a funny job.
I want to see him put some pep in his step.
Does he drink coffee?
They're so opposite, I just love it.
[imitates Tim]
♪ Keep the party going overtime ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ Ladies looking like... ♪
Come on, bro.
-Wow, look how cute she is. -Okay. She's a little hottie.
She is a hottie.
[Tim] I feel pretty good going into this date.
Obviously, I find Latinas to be beautiful.
I love the accent. I love the culture.
Um, and I find them to be more feminine.
They can't even say your name right.
-Say his name. -Ting.
Ting. Ting.
[Luisa] I like him. I think that he's attractive.
Those beautiful green eyes on my eyes.
Like, oh, my God, we have a connection.
And he smells so good.
Ooh.
You got to love a good smelling man.
That's like the first thing that I said when I met him.
You're right, Luisa.
We've hung out with Tim, and he does smell good.
-Yeah. -At least he's trying.
What are your, like, five things that have
to have for you to even consider being in
a long-term relationship?
-Like, give me some examples. -You need to kiss me.
Like, you want me to show you?
Me too. Don't worry.
-Did he just turn her down? -What the--
-This beautiful girl, like, are you kidding me? -Wow.
-Damn. -My face is sweaty right now?
Well, if you weren't wearing a hoodie in the summer...
But, you know, this was his problem in
his relationship with Jeniffer, too,
because he didn't openly show affection.
Like, he did not want to have sex with her.
-So far, how am I doing? -You're doing a good job.
-What's my report card? -Maybe five.
-Out of what? -Ten.
Five out of ten?
-Five? -Oh.
You got to be more suave.
What would you rate our first date?
-Um... -It was so cute.
You, like, picked me up against the wall.
-Oh, [bleep]. I'm not talking about the [bleep] like that. -You laid me on the couch.
That's the only thing that happened on that date.
-I think I made you fried eggs. -You did not make me any.
That was after we had sex.
-And then I gave you those... -It doesn't even matter.
What do you rate it?
I rate it a 10.
Okay, it was probably a 10 then.
[Tim] So how do I get to a 10?
What's those five points that are missing?
You can take Spanish classes.
I know some Spanish.
[speaking in Spanish]
-All right. -[speaking in Spanish]
-All right. -There you go, Tim.
Tim like that [bleep].
-Yes, he like. -Tim like, yeah, "Speak more Spanish, baby."
-Oh, that's how you think? -Oh, yeah.
Oh, she's so hot. Let me get in her pants.
-No, it's like the moment. -Just stop.
You're making yourself sound bad.
[Tim] I think we had a great day.
I'm excited to go out with her again and see what happens.
Did you have a good time?
-Yes. -Okay.
It was a five out of ten.
All right, be safe. Bye-bye.
-Zero affection whatsoever. That's so wild to me. -Yeah.
You into that person or not?
-Yeah. -I couldn't wait to jump your bones.
[laughs]
Mind your words.
Only a guy's allowed to say that?
Take that pink blanket and cover up all the windows.
Girl, hurry up.
She's got her booty out.
Glam team in effect.
I know that job was like this, all in the business.
I see that tape, girl.
I see that tape.
[Andrei groans]
Baby, your arms look nice.
-[groans] -You been working them out?
Yeah. You like them?
Wow, they feel really good, baby.
Do I want what?
-Am I 300 pounds? -You want to try?
All right, what do I do?
Come on, come on. Lay on my back.
-Lay on my back? -Lay on my chest. Get more.
Get more over here.
So I can grab you.
Stay straight.
-Three. You ready? Three. -[laughs]
-Okay. -Come on, babe.
-One... -One. Two.
[laughs]
♪ Hey, don't be afraid of me ♪
-Okay. This looks like Greece. -Oh, wowie.
Look at that beautiful lady.
-It's like, oh, Chantel. -Ah, see?
What's up, Chantel?
Bye, Pedro.
Come on. We got to go. It's a long drive.
[Mooney] Girl, it's the fact that you really got me going
four hours with all my stuff after I done got comfortable.
Come on, guys.
Here we go.
Going on a road trip.
Why couldn't you just hop on a sailboat and just, like,
sail around the island?
That's what I would do.
Whoo-hoo!
Hey, there's no cap on distance for cucumber.
-Yeah. -Let me tell you.
I definitely feel a little bit like
I'm in a rom-com right now because I'm here in Greece
and I'm driving four hours to meet up with
a man who I just met.
You are in a movie, girl. You are definitely in a movie.
That movie with the pants, all their friends shared it,
the Sister Pants movie.
Yeah, that's what this reminds me of.
'Cause she's in Greece, but they're not sharing any pants,
so I guess it doesn't really remind me of that movie.
[cell phone chimes]
Mr. Football just texted me.
-[imitates accent] Mr. Football. -What he say?
Hello.
"I'm so happy that you have come to my hometown."
"Can you meet me at 1900 hours at the Venetian port
with little heart faces?"
What time is it, guys?
[both] 19 is seven o'clock.
-Oh, we know that. -Yeah, fact.
-You know we know that. -Yeah.
-7:00 p.m., 7:00 p.m. -Military time.
7:00 p.m., yeah, 7:00 p.m.
-Literally, I have to get out my calculator. -Yeah, you got it.
I'm like...
What time is it now? What time is it now?
It is 5:29.
Oh, how we gonna get her ready?
Help me, help me, help me. Help me, Kaylee, help me.
We are gonna get ready in the car.
-Find her something to wear. -Let's move out again.
-Come on, Mooney. -Come on, buddy.
[both laughing]
-What in the hell? -Throw the friend in the back.
We need space.
Yo, y'all being a little extra, man.
All of them are like, oh, hell no.
Y'all can't be doing all that in my whip.
I'll pull over. You sit down.
All right, love. Woo!
-[coughing] -Sorry. I'm sorry.
That's funny. That's funny.
No spraying in an enclosed space.
Hairspray.
[in foreign language]
Get that pink blanket and cover up all the windows.
-Don't look. -Girl, I don't want that.
-Girl, hurry up. -I'm trying.
She's got her booty out.
Oh, you know what? I ain't mad at them. Look out.
-They are banding together. -Glam team in effect.
I know that driver was like this,
all in the business, fixing the rear view like that.
Yeah. [bleep]
I see that tape, girl. I see that tape.
-Beautiful. -This is cute, girl.
Hi, Barbie.
Hey, Barbie.
Yeah, she looks really good.
Is that outfit made out of, like, shells?
Like, the top part of it?
I love this outfit.
-This is so perfect for Greece. -Yeah.
[Chantel] This feels a little bit out of my comfort zone,
but I am 100% a risk-taker.
I feel like you only live once, YOLO,
dive in, and I want to learn more about Giannis
and get to know him.
Aww. I'm excited for you, Chantel.
-That's right, girl, and you know I got your back. -Get it, girl.
And this dude act up, I'm there.
-What? -Okay.
-I'm sorry. That was a bit much, right? -That was a lot.
[woman] Next time on 90 Day: The Single Life.
-Woo! Oh, here we go. -[both] John!
[John] Megan has a daughter.
I mean, I think we should both make sure this is
the right move before, you know, anybody's heart gets broken.
I'm excited to see this trip.
I want to meet Megan and see the daughter.
John's about to be stepdad? Say word.
[Chantel] I have an actual connection with Giannis,
but I can't get too carried away.
I have to stay realistic.
I think Giannis is cute.
I think they would make a cute couple.
-We're meeting a special friend today. -Who?
-Hey! It's Jamal... -Hey.
-...and his friends. -I know that guy.
Ooh, Veronica and Jamal next week.
Okay, okay. Let's see what's going to happen.
My ex is one of my best friends.
Your ex?
-Look at Jamal's face. Look at Jamal's face. -Whoa.
He ain't for this.
[both laugh]
Jamal look like a sore thumb sitting there.
I was a little hesitant to invite Tim tonight
because of the history he's had with Jamal.
But at some point, they're going to have to,
like, squash their beef.
[Jamal] Because we're going to sit here and act like Tim
is just this father of the year.
Whoa!
Did I ever claim to be father of the year?
Also, what you're not going to do is raise your voice at me.
-What you're not going to do is question me being... -Wow.
...a [bleep] dad to Chloe.
-Oh! -[bleep]
Oh.
-Wow. -Oh, my God.
Why are they fighting?
Ah, I wish I was their mama cub.
No, no, you can't mama cub.
Because I wanted to be up there being like, "What?
Who's talking to my baby like that?"
-Babe, babe, I cannot wait for next week. -Oh...
That was so good.
Who do you think is going to win?
-In the fight? -Yeah.
I don't know.
Usually, I would say the taller person,
but Tim could go low and, like, really get him.
Oh, Tim is going to... Tim got some moves.
Oh, I can't wait for next week.
And I'm just dreaming about my husband being so kind
and refilling my snack tray.
What?
So I can snack some more and then go to bed.
Oh, I just think that would be...
Maybe I could manifest it.
-Wait, what do you want? -Mmm. Chips and salsa.
Yo, that episode was crazy.
I can't wait till next week.
I want to see what's going to happen
with Natalie, her mom, and Josh.
Oh, John. It was so good to see John.
Sparkles.
I know. It was so good to see you.
-Miss Debbie. -Miss Debbie.
How'd she get more men than I can get?
I mean, I don't know.
Maybe you need, like, a peacock fan.
Feathers. Something, I don't know.
That was a great episode.
Yeah, it was!
Well, go ahead.
I'm going to just sit here and relax
and listen to how you talk like that.
-And I don't know why. -Aye, shut up.
[Emily] This is the best gift you've ever gotten me.
[Kobe] I know what I'm doing, baby.
The way in my pants is snacks.
[laughs, exclaims]