1
00:00:01,419 --> 00:00:04,253
- Oh, man. What do you guys
know about this oedipus guy?
2
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:07,089
- Never heard of him.
- Well, you're about to.
3
00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:08,090
- Wait, what?
4
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:09,883
- How insane is that?
5
00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:11,677
- Oh, oedipus,
oedipus, oedipus.
6
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:13,303
- Don't spoil it.
7
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:14,138
This is nothing.
8
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,222
If I lost my eyesight,
9
00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,266
I'd bump
into my mother a lot too.
10
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,309
Both:
You're reading it backwards.
11
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,855
- Ah!
Oedipus, you naughty pioneer.
12
00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:24,189
- Hardly pioneering.
13
00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:26,066
This is the top half
of my family tree.
14
00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:28,068
Stupendous?
Incest, murder?
15
00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:29,820
- Nah, I know the story.
16
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:30,863
Sucks to be oedipus.
17
00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:32,814
- Sucks to be oedipus' parents!
18
00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:33,991
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
19
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,076
- You know what, guys?
I don't say this enough.
20
00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:38,370
We're
a relatively healthy family.
21
00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:39,455
All: Aww.
- I act like
22
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,415
You guys are a burden,
and you are,
23
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,835
But I need to appreciate
my situation for what it is:
24
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,587
Somewhat better than oedipus.
25
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:47,921
- Aww.
- How nice.
26
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,340
- Every goat in the city
has been partially eaten,
27
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,342
Leaving a trail of blood
to the palace gates,
28
00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:54,136
And the people are coming
with torches
29
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,221
To demand
your father be killed!
30
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,182
- [sighs]
maybe I'd rather be oedipus.
31
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:01,810
- [laughs]
not a chance, stud.
32
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,688
[upbeat mythical music]
33
00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:11,695
♪ ♪
34
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,087
[crowd clamoring]
35
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:30,547
- Dad, did you eat those goats?
- Of course not.
36
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:33,217
I'd remember if I did.
Goats are amazing.
37
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,302
They have those little handles
on their heads
38
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:37,471
So you can just...
[chomping]
39
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:40,099
- Next time someone asks,
shorten that to "no."
40
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,350
- You want me to beat 'em up?
41
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,977
- Everyone?
In the entire city?
42
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:44,978
- Is that a challenge?
43
00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:47,106
- If you beat everyone up,
44
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,315
What am I the king of?
45
00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,776
- Quieter people?
- No.
46
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,694
Angry mobs feed
on fear and violence.
47
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,864
A smart leader dispels it
with calmness and courage.
48
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,074
- So you want me standing
49
00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:58,826
Right behind you
or right in front of you?
50
00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,786
- Is me on your shoulders
too much?
51
00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:03,664
Crowd: Angry mob! Angry mob!
52
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,249
- Everybody, calm down!
53
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,501
- We don't wanna calm down!
We're an angry mob!
54
00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:09,419
- You won't be
if you calm down.
55
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,797
- Well,
isn't that convenient logic?
56
00:02:11,841 --> 00:02:12,965
Crowd: Yeah!
57
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,259
- My father
did not kill your goats.
58
00:02:15,261 --> 00:02:16,593
Can you at least
put out the torches?
59
00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:18,011
They're silly.
It's daytime.
60
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:21,056
- Look, if you're gonna be
this dismissive of our anger,
61
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,892
Don't act shocked
by our decision to be a mob!
62
00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:25,185
[crowd clamoring]
63
00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:26,603
- You guys,
I'm not dismissing you.
64
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,231
Can we just talk?
- Nobody talked to my goats.
65
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,233
Crowd: Yeah!
- Or maybe they did.
66
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,985
But it didn't help!
Crowd: Yeah!
67
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,361
- My point is,
our goats are dead.
68
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,613
Crowd: Yeah!
- You're overexplaining it.
69
00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:37,948
Crowd: Oh.
- What are you,
70
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:39,825
My angry mob mentor?
Crowd: Yes!
71
00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,493
- Man, our city sucks.
72
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:44,329
They can't even kill
one murderer together.
73
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,624
- Everybody, I'm going
to create a system
74
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:51,336
By which you, the people,
are in charge of justice.
75
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,755
We'll call it
"a justice system."
76
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,300
- I don't wanna speak
for the whole mob,
77
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:59,052
But I'm willing to indulge you
because this torch is heavy!
78
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,387
Crowd: Yeah!
79
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:03,015
[all grumbling]
80
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,558
- That was close.
- Yeah.
81
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:07,227
For a moment there,
you almost spinelessly pandered
82
00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:09,563
To a bunch of dingholes
I could've easily killed.
83
00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:10,606
- You don't get it.
84
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,608
If the people are
in charge of justice,
85
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,277
They'll have to agree
on who's guilty or innocent.
86
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,154
Those people can't agree
on anything,
87
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,113
So I'll just talk in circles
88
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,656
Until dad gets away
with murder.
89
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:23,702
- You don't seriously expect me
to admire you for this, do you?
90
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,663
[metallic clanging]
91
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,585
- [groans]
92
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,003
[zapping]
93
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,176
Ugh, unbelievable.
94
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,802
What are you doing?
95
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,221
- It's called science, mom.
96
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,431
- Don't ever call me mom.
97
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,725
That's a word
my actual children try
98
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:47,809
And use to leverage me.
99
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:48,977
I tolerate it from them.
100
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,395
I won't from you.
101
00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:52,981
Now what is the point
of this science?
102
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,942
- We can use it
to do amazing things,
103
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,568
Like give people water.
104
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:57,903
- Like this?
105
00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,738
- That's also impressive.
106
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:00,822
- Isn't it just?
107
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,783
It's called being powerful.
108
00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:05,327
It's why I have a temple
and why mortals worship me
109
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:08,247
And why half-fish stepchildren
should know better than to ruin
110
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,999
What was previously
a pretty solid day drunk.
111
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,334
- Powerful. Got it.
112
00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:14,670
Um, before you go,
could you--
113
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,505
- Invent an umbrella.
114
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,840
Quietly.
115
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:19,883
- Dad?
116
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,010
Dad?
- [muffled grunts]
117
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,096
- Okay, grab him.
- Come on, old man.
118
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,265
When's the last time
you fit through any window?
119
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:29,017
- I am not leaving
through the window.
120
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,852
I was grabbing my weed.
121
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,145
I'm leaving from the roof.
122
00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:34,147
- Why leave?
I'm going to exonerate you.
123
00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:37,067
- My boy, you're what, 30?
I'm thousands.
124
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,444
This is how it works
with monsters and humans.
125
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,072
I chill among you a while,
then something creepy happens,
126
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,866
You kids grab the torches,
and daddy bones out.
127
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,368
It's been real.
- I have a plan.
128
00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:47,869
I already sold the people
on it.
129
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:49,454
It's why they disbanded.
130
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:53,292
- You need me to put my head
on the block to save yours.
131
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,085
- Well, it sounds bad
when you say it.
132
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,336
- All right, well,
how's this sound?
133
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,080
I'm gonna put my weed plant
up on the roof--
134
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,674
- Flight risk.
- [grunts]
135
00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:01,883
Can I hang on to my weed,
136
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,385
Or is there a law
against that too?
137
00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:05,137
- Your weed
will always be legal, dad.
138
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,972
I'm a tyrant,
not a crazy person.
139
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,103
- Okay, here's
how it's going to work.
140
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:15,105
We're replacing
the large angry mob
141
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,357
With a smaller, seated,
thoughtful mob.
142
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,358
That's you guys.
143
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,235
You'll decide
on guilt or innocence
144
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:23,521
After hearing all information
from both sides.
145
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:25,574
- Question.
- Not your job, but go ahead.
146
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:29,077
- How are you allowed to be
king and defend the killer?
147
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,537
It seems janky.
- Janky?
148
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:33,373
That's a word now?
- Are you ruling over that too?
149
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:34,958
- Uh-huh!
- I mean, it really does
150
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:36,960
Seem janky.
- Okay, okay.
151
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,295
This is not part
of the royal court.
152
00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,672
This is a separate court,
a legal court,
153
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,965
Where there is no king.
154
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,258
- So who's in charge?
155
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:44,968
- Well, we don't really--okay.
156
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,512
Who is the oldest person
in the city?
157
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,724
- What? I don't wanna be
involved in this hipster crap.
158
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:51,933
I'm 40!
159
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,185
- You don't even have
to do anything
160
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,644
But sit there and be old.
161
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:55,687
Just do it.
162
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,481
Make him do it.
- Hey!
163
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,857
I don't have time for this!
164
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,817
I could die any moment!
165
00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,944
I'm 40 years old!
166
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,237
Uh, what's this?
167
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,073
- That was left there
by a carpenter
168
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,075
And clearly has nothing
to do with any...
169
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,785
If we could get started, I'd--
- what?
170
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,620
- What do you mean "what"?
You're banging a hammer--
171
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,122
- When I feel like it?
That's what I thought.
172
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,582
Okay, I'm into this job.
173
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:19,044
I'm not into your music,
but I'm into this job.
174
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,837
Proceed.
- All right. I'm--
175
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,339
I'm sorry.
What's wrong with our music?
176
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:25,634
- It's a bunch of people
banging on drums.
177
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:28,220
When I was your age,
we had to make the drums.
178
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:29,763
- You're five years older
than us.
179
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:33,683
- Everything's a number
to your generation.
180
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,187
[whooshing]
- aah!
181
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,522
[groans]
- my bad!
182
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,981
You've got a great story now,
though.
183
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,358
Almost never happens.
184
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,734
[whispers]
when I'm sober.
185
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:44,111
- You're too much.
186
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:45,237
- I'm just enough.
187
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,822
- I could use a little more.
188
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,615
[both laugh]
189
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,409
[both sigh]
190
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:52,786
How are you, herm-herms?
191
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,413
- Just runnin' and funnin'.
192
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,206
Spreadin' words
of stuff I heard.
193
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,041
Speaking of which,
so sorry to hear
194
00:06:58,127 --> 00:06:59,418
About all
those lost worshippers.
195
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,169
- What do you mean?
- Oh, right.
196
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,004
You probably haven't heard
because all the other gods
197
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,965
Have been talking about it
behind your back.
198
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,133
The killassians,
199
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,509
They're worshipping
some new god.
200
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,636
- The killassians?
Well, that's my city.
201
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:10,971
They pray to me.
202
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,889
What's the name
of this new god?
203
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,808
- Simon? Séance?
204
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,059
- Is it science?
205
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,519
- You know him?
Introduce me.
206
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,896
Or you could just turn
into a crow and blow me off.
207
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,273
Bitch.
208
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,321
[magical poof]
209
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,409
- Where is the fish boy?
210
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,120
- To what do we owe the honor?
211
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:36,246
- Playtime is over.
212
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,123
Give me back my killassians.
213
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,208
- I'm sorry, but no.
214
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:43,170
- It sounded like
you said "no,"
215
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,504
But that can't be right
216
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:47,215
Because it would result
in your immediate death.
217
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:48,300
- Killassians,
218
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,802
Will you worship deliria
if she kills me?
219
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:53,221
Killassians: No! Hail science!
220
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,348
- Turns out, you don't have
to be a god to be powerful.
221
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:56,808
You just have to create one.
222
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,393
Killassians: Hail science!
223
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:03,106
- My life may be infinite,
but my patience is not.
224
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,816
- You may not care
if I live or die,
225
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,944
But my dad does,
and you love him.
226
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,279
La la la.
227
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,323
So I guess it's time
for you to become outraged
228
00:08:11,441 --> 00:08:13,658
And fake a mysterious reason
to leave.
229
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,243
- I won't tolerate this
230
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:19,498
Because I'm late
to make love to the moon.
231
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,585
- Science demands
I take a bath,
232
00:08:23,745 --> 00:08:26,087
Which is more fun
with a friend.
233
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,423
- All right!
234
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,175
- [sighs]
235
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:33,512
- I don't know
if this is helpful,
236
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,472
But depending on
when those goats were killed,
237
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,516
I may have been
at home masturbating.
238
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:40,310
It actually depends very little
on when they were killed.
239
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:43,104
- Was it in front of a crowd
of reputable witnesses?
240
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,231
- Bless your heart, son.
241
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,690
I'm not 100 anymore.
242
00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,275
- Dad, under my new system,
243
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,653
You have the right
to say nothing.
244
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,238
I'd like you to do that.
245
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,323
- If I say nothing,
won't I look guilty?
246
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,659
- Not as much
as if you say anything.
247
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,826
I've got a strategy.
248
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:57,911
I'm going to convince everyone
249
00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,037
You were accused
250
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,581
Simply because
you are a monster.
251
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:02,666
[echoing boom]
252
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:03,875
- Sorry I'm late.
253
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,710
I walked instead of flying.
254
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,004
Last thing this city needs
is more panic.
255
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,464
- Excuse me!
256
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,175
We can't just have
a sphinx wandering around.
257
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,387
- The sphinx's name is brenda,
and I'm here
258
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,931
To represent the goat farmers
against your father.
259
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:21,309
- Now you can't make us
look anti-monster.
260
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,436
- Brenda, why?
This isn't who you are.
261
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,897
You love riddles.
- I loved one.
262
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,400
It got solved,
and we all have to eat,
263
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:31,111
Appropriately,
in normal quantities,
264
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,779
With human permission.
265
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:35,115
[humans cheering]
266
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,200
- Everyone,
stop being loud and young!
267
00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,035
- Did you have
a backup strategy?
268
00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:41,121
- I did,
but it was basically
269
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,707
To double down
on the first one.
270
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:48,128
As a trader of pottery,
you've seen a lot of stories
271
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:51,172
Painted on a lot of vases,
pots, and bowls, correct?
272
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,967
- Well, of course.
That's why I got into ceramics.
273
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,093
I'm a news junkie.
274
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,970
- And how many vases
have you seen
275
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,055
Depicting monsters
as innocent creatures?
276
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,349
- [laughs] none.
- You're laughing about that.
277
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,977
- Well, it's funny
to imagine a vase
278
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,937
Showing a monster
helping someone.
279
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,647
Nobody would want it.
280
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:11,484
- "nobody would want it."
281
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,652
Your expert.
282
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,070
- Thank you.
283
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,656
Do you ever keep old pottery?
284
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:19,367
- Well, the older a vase gets,
the less valuable.
285
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,662
But I do keep an archive
of stories that seem important.
286
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,582
- Oh? Anything this court
might find enlightening?
287
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:28,752
- Well, as a matter of fact,
I sure did find something.
288
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,046
This bowl is centuries old.
289
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,298
We can't know
what region this was,
290
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,468
But you see here a monster
that looks like the accused.
291
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:39,929
And these appear
to be human babies.
292
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,975
And then this would be
the accused eating the babies.
293
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,101
[crowd gasps]
- oh, no.
294
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,812
- Oh, that was mesopotamia.
295
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,897
Or sumeria.
296
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,106
I get them confused.
297
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,025
One thing is for sure, though:
298
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,569
I have gained weight.
299
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,949
- Why didn't you tell me
you spent
300
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,993
Part of your life
eating babies?
301
00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,286
- I'm on trial
for eating goats.
302
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,871
It hardly seemed relevant.
303
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:05,955
- Not to get us off track,
304
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,207
But what do they taste like?
305
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,500
- Do not answer that!
306
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,211
- Look, I spent some time
a thousand years ago
307
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,672
Imprisoned in a pit
by a tribe of humans
308
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,925
That refused to feed me
anything but their enemies.
309
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,010
- Who's enemies with babies?
310
00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:21,388
- You know, human values
have a habit of drifting.
311
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,348
It always starts with
"let's get rid of bad people"
312
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:26,434
And somehow always ends up
with a baby pit.
313
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,145
Oh, honey, you're back.
I missed you.
314
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,814
- What are you doing?
- Whoops.
315
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,274
[crow squawks]
your loss, whoever you are.
316
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,485
- I don't care what you do
with that slutty bird.
317
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:38,029
I just need you
to do me a small favor.
318
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:40,073
- Anything, my love.
- Kill your son.
319
00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:42,033
- Okay,
but since he's defending me,
320
00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:43,576
It might be a bit of an issue.
321
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,037
- Not our son, your son.
322
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,831
I'd do it,
but you know the rules.
323
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,082
"you make 'em, you kill 'em."
324
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,250
- Nobody's killing anyone.
325
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,918
What do you think
hippocampus did
326
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,294
That would warrant his murder?
327
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,964
- He took my killassians away
from me.
328
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,257
- So what?
It's not like
329
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,925
You ever did anything
to earn their worship.
330
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:00,677
- You don't earn worship.
331
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:01,761
Then it's not worship.
332
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,888
If I had to do things
to get things,
333
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,473
I'd be one of you things.
334
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,475
- Well, if people praised you
and never get anything for it,
335
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,854
Doesn't it stand to reason
that they might stop?
336
00:12:10,981 --> 00:12:12,397
- Of course.
You're right.
337
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,232
I don't have
to kill your brother.
338
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,067
I just have
to bribe everyone with gifts
339
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,403
So they forget all
about that stupid science.
340
00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,029
- That's not really
what I was saying.
341
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:22,240
- Got what I wanted.
Not listening.
342
00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:24,117
- Okay, back
to what's actually important.
343
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,952
Dad, I'm going
to lose this case,
344
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:27,287
And you're going to die.
345
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,997
- Look, I know laws
just got invented,
346
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,874
But I think your dad needs
to break a couple
347
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:31,916
If he's gonna live.
348
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:32,917
- She's right.
349
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,169
I'll tell people you escaped.
350
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,796
Can you maul and trample me
a little?
351
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:38,047
Oh, in a way that doesn't hurt.
352
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,340
- I can't run now, son.
353
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,884
Your people would kill you.
354
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,302
- They'll kill you if you stay.
355
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:46,139
- But legally, thanks to you.
356
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,641
- You're welcome?
357
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:53,062
- Someone in this city
killed the goats, folks,
358
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,065
And someone in your city
used to eat babies.
359
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,067
Not exactly a riddle.
360
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,944
I'd know.
I'm a sphinx.
361
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,154
You want to hear a riddle?
362
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,739
- Oh, god.
Here she goes.
363
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,407
- What has four legs
in the morning,
364
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,785
Two legs at noon,
and three legs at night?
365
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:10,872
Man because he crawls as a baby
and uses a cane when he's old.
366
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,248
Thank you.
- Ooh.
367
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,292
- That was a good riddle.
- Impressive.
368
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,627
- I'm not addressing
that riddle
369
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:18,046
Because it has nothing to do
with the trial.
370
00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,923
Also, not a great riddle.
371
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:20,840
- We liked her riddle.
372
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,050
- It's clearly popular,
373
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,676
Which is why
I won't criticize it,
374
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,930
But it's frustrating
when popular things are stupid.
375
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,306
- Come on.
- Crazy.
376
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,475
- The sphinx's riddle is
not on trial, young man.
377
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:33,144
- No, it's not
and never has been.
378
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:35,313
Maybe it should've been.
[people grumbling]
379
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:36,356
Moving on.
380
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,565
- Excuse me.
Not moving on.
381
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,984
I want to know
what makes my riddle stupid.
382
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,110
- I shouldn't have said that.
383
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,155
That was rude,
and I'm sorry.
384
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,241
I just think
that a proper riddle
385
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,409
Is a solvable
linguistic puzzle,
386
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,954
Like, what can be touched
but not seen?
387
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:52,789
The heart.
388
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,583
- Can we just find
his father guilty now?
389
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,919
- You don't wanna hear
his closing argument?
390
00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,254
- Kind of a waste of time.
391
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,297
- Yeah, this guy's time
is so important.
392
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,341
What are you, late to marry
an overrated riddle?
393
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,301
[people booing]
394
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:10,390
- Killassians,
deliria has returned.
395
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:13,643
And I think you're going
to like what I brought with me.
396
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,144
- An air of desperation?
397
00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:17,772
- In my thousands of years
on this planet,
398
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,274
I have learned many things,
399
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:23,570
But mostly how to properly
reward my worshippers.
400
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,780
So you're welcome.
401
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,074
Ooh, honey.
402
00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:30,076
Yum, yum, yum.
403
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:32,370
- Bribery?
Isn't that beneath you?
404
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,372
- Not if it works.
- It won't.
405
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:35,832
You can offer them
anything you want,
406
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,876
But they won't take it.
407
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,294
Asskill, wanna tell her why?
408
00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:41,921
- Science has opened our eyes
to amazing new concepts.
409
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,673
I mean, the baths alone.
410
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:44,674
Right, bath buddy?
411
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:45,884
- Not in front of people.
412
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:48,678
- You idiots really believe
this nonsense?
413
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,347
I'm a god. I'm real.
414
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,182
- It's called faith,
stepmother,
415
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:55,351
And it's much bigger than you.
416
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,730
- But is it bigger
than sandals?
417
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,524
Shovels? Dairy cows?
418
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,318
Piles of hair?
419
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,945
Killassians: All hail science!
420
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,655
- Shall we talk?
421
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,324
- What do you want?
422
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:12,035
- I want you
to let me call you mom.
423
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,328
- What? Why?
424
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:14,996
- Does it matter?
- No.
425
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,789
Because it's never going
to happen.
426
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:17,957
- Which is exactly why
427
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,251
It's the only thing
I will accept.
428
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,337
- You do realize
it won't mean anything.
429
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,255
You can't make me love you.
430
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,090
- Pfft, I don't want your love.
431
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,216
I want power.
432
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,510
You see,
every time I call you mom,
433
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,638
You'll know I beat you.
434
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,806
That's worth everything.
435
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,725
- I am strangely impressed
436
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,269
By your cold,
unfeeling calculations.
437
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:39,854
- I thought you might be.
- Fine.
438
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,273
Because you are power-hungry
and have proven yourself
439
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:45,109
A worthy adversary,
I will allow you this.
440
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:47,278
- I know you will, mom.
441
00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:50,239
- Ooh, it's like being stabbed
in the ears.
442
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,409
Now can we finally get out
of this dusty hellhole?
443
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:56,412
- Absolutely.
I miss my bed and my lab.
444
00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:58,373
Plus, no matter
how much water they get,
445
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:02,126
These people still smell
like half-dead muskrats.
446
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,921
All hail science or whatever.
447
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,714
Smell ya later!
448
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:09,050
What are you gonna do about
all your lost worshippers?
449
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,259
- Well, I'm not too worried.
450
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,303
I have a feeling
they'll find their way back.
451
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:13,888
I might not know
what humans like,
452
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,807
But I know what they don't:
453
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,642
Locusts!
454
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,102
[buzzing]
455
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:22,605
[people screaming]
456
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,649
- And if a lifetime,
which is a series of days,
457
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,150
Looks like a single day,
458
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,946
Your perspective is so distant
that a cane would be a leg,
459
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,115
So it's not just
a jumble of metaphors.
460
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,616
It's the best riddle ever,
461
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,077
And I now understand
why people like it.
462
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,203
Good enough?
463
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,873
- All right, you may begin
your closing argument,
464
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,917
But it better be good.
465
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:46,087
- Fact: Your goats were eaten.
466
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:49,549
Fact: My dad...
467
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,342
- Ate babies.
468
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:54,679
- Stop telling everyone
you ate babies!
469
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,723
Stop talking.
470
00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:59,559
Everything you say is...
471
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,396
True.
472
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:08,026
My father has never lied
in his life.
473
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:09,944
I should know.
474
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:12,405
I grew up wishing he would.
475
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:17,326
I also grew up
constantly lying about him.
476
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,872
I told people
I didn't have a father.
477
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:23,166
I was ashamed of him
478
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,917
Because he's shameless.
479
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,127
- It's true.
480
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,421
- We want to be good.
481
00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:31,841
We want
to set wrong things right.
482
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,718
You know who else wanted that?
483
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,386
These guys.
484
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,056
Chucking babies
into a monster's mouth.
485
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,099
What happened here?
486
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,685
If we asked these humans,
would they tell us,
487
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,188
Or would they say,
"it didn't happen that way.
488
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,981
"there's more to it than that.
489
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,191
"the babies were bigger.
490
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,193
"they were
very dangerous babies.
491
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,986
You had to be there.
Trust me"?
492
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:54,781
Well, I don't trust them.
493
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:56,699
They're too human.
494
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,451
They mean too well.
495
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,453
And they want too much.
496
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,998
And they lie too often.
497
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,793
Is there a reason
not to let this guy babysit?
498
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,377
Yep.
499
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:12,006
Are there reasons not to take
his grooming advice? Yes.
500
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,674
When you look at him,
listen to him,
501
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,093
Or watch him do anything,
502
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,678
Is it reasonable
to be disgusted?
503
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,472
Maybe.
504
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,508
But there's no reason
to mistrust him.
505
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,978
He's never pretended
to be better than he is.
506
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:28,773
That's me.
That's you.
507
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,525
That's these guys.
508
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:35,655
That's why humans have to be
extra careful about justice.
509
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,073
We're too good at it.
510
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:40,326
And too wrong, too often.
511
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,121
This guy ate babies.
512
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,581
He didn't eat your goats.
Thank you.
513
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:48,000
- Mm-hmm.
- Very impressive.
514
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,377
- I'll tell you
what happened here.
515
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:53,172
One of these babies survived
and sired my ancestors.
516
00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:58,010
I am the last descendant
of the baby that got away.
517
00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:01,556
- Son,
this is a goat-eating trial.
518
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,723
- No, you idiots!
519
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,809
The whole point
of killing the goats
520
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,102
Was to make you understand
521
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:08,396
You're sheltering
an evil beast!
522
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,732
- Wait, are you saying
you killed our goats?
523
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:12,733
- Look! Goats!
524
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,861
[scared panting]
525
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:16,028
- Let's go!
- Let's get him!
526
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,071
- Come on!
- Get him!
527
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,115
- We find the monster innocent.
528
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:20,741
Get the torches!
- Yeah!
529
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:21,701
[jury cheering]
530
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,080
- Go get him.
- [laughs evilly]
531
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,791
- Justice is hereby over.
Keeping the hammer.
532
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,084
- Thank you, son.
533
00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:33,254
- You're welcome,
you baby-eating old bastard.
534
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,714
[crowd cheering]
- come on!
535
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,257
Get him!
- [sobbing]
536
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,842
- Yeah!
- [grunts]
537
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,218
- Should they be doing that?
538
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,137
Doesn't everybody
have rights now?
539
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,222
- Yeah, everybody but that guy.
540
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,308
Let's take the win.
- Congratulations.
541
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,601
I had a feeling
you were innocent.
542
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,061
- Are you serious?
Then what the hell, brenda?
543
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,479
Why?
- I was hungry.
544
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,690
And they offered me
a lot of goat carcasses.
545
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:53,941
Hey, king tyrannis,
546
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,943
What's a dick in the morning...
- Yep, that's okay.
547
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,278
- And then at night?
- We get it.
548
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,529
- You.
- Oh, wow.
549
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,156
Good thing you followed
all the way through.
550
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,825
- What can't hear a dick
over the sound of it leaving?
551
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:05,453
Brenda the legal sphinx!
552
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:08,706
[whoosh]
aah!
553
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:10,458
Both: Whoa!
- Holy!
554
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,542
- Did you see that?
555
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:14,212
- Sphinx flying
just outside the city.
556
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,297
- Mom got it!
- Mom, no!
557
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,591
- Oh, he's just as much
my child as you two.
558
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:19,884
- No, not that.
559
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,178
That was, uh--
we knew her.
560
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,180
- Well, she may be alive.
561
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,098
- She was making sounds
going down.
562
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:29,185
Not good sounds,
but not no sounds.
563
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,187
- [sighs]
do I have to go and get her?
564
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:34,440
- No, we'll all
go get her together.
565
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:37,360
- So I have
to go get her slowly.
566
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,281
Ugh.
567
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,286
- I say, darling,
do you ever think
568
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:50,248
How lucky you are that you
don't have to bathe yourself?
569
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:53,542
No washing your armpits
or legpits or wingpits
570
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:54,710
Or your tailpit?
571
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,712
- Can't say that I have.
572
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,140
Have you quite finished?
573
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:11,143
- Well, now I have
to start again.
574
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,687
- Isn't it strange
575
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,689
How the things you once
found cute in a lover
576
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:18,192
Become the very things that
end up torturing you forever?
577
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:20,653
- Well, I like the idea
of being loved forever.
578
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,738
- Then stop that.
579
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,327
I like it too.
580
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,205
- Did you get any of that?
581
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,293
- Bento.
[applause]