1 00:00:02,973 --> 00:00:04,743 So you say the wolves around here 2 00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:06,012 are really that big? 3 00:00:06,012 --> 00:00:07,716 Oh, the biggest, 4 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,418 big as, like, 3 normal wolves. 5 00:00:09,418 --> 00:00:11,924 And I can kill one with this sideways bow? 6 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:13,994 There! I see one! 7 00:00:13,994 --> 00:00:15,698 Holy moly, he's big. 8 00:00:15,698 --> 00:00:17,736 Will I be able to carry it? It's very important 9 00:00:17,736 --> 00:00:20,474 that I carry it on my shoulders as I enter town. 10 00:00:22,111 --> 00:00:23,480 Come on! He's getting away! 11 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,150 We should not cross the border 12 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,887 into the northern world. 13 00:00:26,887 --> 00:00:28,123 I'm sure it's fine. 14 00:00:28,123 --> 00:00:29,626 Let's get this bastard. 15 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,138 Careful. That tree is sacred. 16 00:00:44,222 --> 00:00:46,894 How sacred would you say? 17 00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:10,106 Whoo! 18 00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,982 The Norse gods are coming here? 19 00:01:13,982 --> 00:01:15,350 Why? What's that about? 20 00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:17,388 Does anyone know what it might be about? 21 00:01:17,388 --> 00:01:19,225 Someone broke their sacred tree 22 00:01:19,225 --> 00:01:21,029 using an arrow tipped with Olympian steel. 23 00:01:21,029 --> 00:01:23,935 Wow, I wouldn't have even thought they have trees. 24 00:01:23,935 --> 00:01:26,172 How sacred is this one exactly? 25 00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:27,675 It connects Valhalla and Hel. 26 00:01:27,675 --> 00:01:29,412 They have two places you go when you die, 27 00:01:29,412 --> 00:01:31,148 depending on whether you're "good" or "bad." 28 00:01:31,148 --> 00:01:33,153 It's way too confusing. I mean, you're dead. 29 00:01:33,153 --> 00:01:34,756 How good can you be? 30 00:01:34,756 --> 00:01:36,960 But why do we have to be here? 31 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,165 Aw, crap! Are we food? No, 32 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:42,004 the Norse gods get pissy if there isn't a huge crowd. 33 00:01:50,855 --> 00:01:52,826 Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you, 34 00:01:52,826 --> 00:01:57,502 coming today from Asgard, the greatest city in the universe... 35 00:01:57,502 --> 00:01:59,105 Wrong. the gods 36 00:01:59,105 --> 00:02:00,775 of the northern world! 37 00:02:00,775 --> 00:02:04,148 First to be introduced, the father of all the gods, 38 00:02:04,148 --> 00:02:06,085 protector of heroes who join him 39 00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:07,989 when they die. If they're dead, 40 00:02:07,989 --> 00:02:09,559 he didn't protect them much, did he? 41 00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:12,666 Please welcome the great Odin. 42 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,504 Next to introduce, the goddess of the dead. 43 00:02:15,504 --> 00:02:18,711 She's "hella" powerful. This is a funny joke 44 00:02:18,711 --> 00:02:21,349 because her name is Hela! 45 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:24,088 Also next, look out, he's gonna trick ya. 46 00:02:24,088 --> 00:02:26,259 Please welcome the trickster god, 47 00:02:26,259 --> 00:02:29,365 who is named Loki! 48 00:02:31,637 --> 00:02:33,607 Ha ha ha ha! That's his thing? 49 00:02:33,607 --> 00:02:35,276 He does tricks? Lame. 50 00:02:35,276 --> 00:02:37,247 Do these guys even have a war god? 51 00:02:37,247 --> 00:02:39,251 Also next, the god of thunder. 52 00:02:39,251 --> 00:02:40,922 Please welcome... 53 00:02:40,922 --> 00:02:43,661 Thor! 54 00:02:43,661 --> 00:02:45,965 Whoa! Stupe, are you OK? 55 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:49,138 I think I just got in touch with my straight side. 56 00:02:49,138 --> 00:02:52,177 - Over here! - Look upon our fair breasts! 57 00:02:52,177 --> 00:02:54,516 Your chests are nearly as beautiful 58 00:02:54,516 --> 00:02:56,452 as my own. Score! 59 00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:58,323 So, hypothetically, if this meeting doesn't 60 00:02:58,323 --> 00:02:59,826 go well, what happens? 61 00:02:59,826 --> 00:03:01,830 War between Asgard and Olympus. 62 00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:03,835 And is that more of a you problem 63 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,838 or an us problem? Well, the war would 64 00:03:05,838 --> 00:03:09,045 go on forever, and mortals would be the first to die. 65 00:03:09,045 --> 00:03:11,049 So if I were you, I'd mingle my ass off. 66 00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:12,552 Copy that. 67 00:03:12,552 --> 00:03:14,388 Do you see this little flower, 68 00:03:14,388 --> 00:03:16,126 or is it a big flower? 69 00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:18,129 And where are your sandals? 70 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,204 - You're not impressed? - Oh, no, it was good. 71 00:03:22,204 --> 00:03:24,208 A good little trick you did there. 72 00:03:24,208 --> 00:03:26,212 My tricks are not little. I represent chaos. 73 00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:28,216 - Got it, yeah. - For example, 74 00:03:28,216 --> 00:03:30,253 you and I are talking right now, yes? 75 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:31,890 - That we are. - And you say hello 76 00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:33,627 and expect me to say hello. Sure. 77 00:03:33,627 --> 00:03:36,700 But instead, I hand you a snake. 78 00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,470 I am Loki! 79 00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:40,474 I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time making 80 00:03:40,474 --> 00:03:42,645 that one feel appreciated. 81 00:03:42,645 --> 00:03:44,817 What? What are we looking at so intensely? 82 00:03:44,817 --> 00:03:46,987 So, what are you the goddess of? 83 00:03:46,987 --> 00:03:49,191 Me? I'm not the goddess of anything. 84 00:03:49,191 --> 00:03:51,897 Could have fooled me. 85 00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:54,101 I don't know what that was. Hee hee hee! 86 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,674 I mean, grrr! I'm a soldier. 87 00:03:56,674 --> 00:03:58,845 Wow, that looks like it went well. 88 00:03:58,845 --> 00:04:01,182 Oh, yeah, I'm into this guy, and when Stupe aims 89 00:04:01,182 --> 00:04:03,186 to hit something, Stupe don't miss. 90 00:04:03,186 --> 00:04:05,390 The Stuper the berry, the Stuper the fruit. 91 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:07,394 You feel me? Thor? 92 00:04:07,394 --> 00:04:09,398 I wouldn't if I were you. Been there, done that. 93 00:04:09,398 --> 00:04:11,402 He and I had a thing back in the day. 94 00:04:11,402 --> 00:04:13,808 I mean, if you're into sloppy seconds, have at it. 95 00:04:13,808 --> 00:04:15,644 Mother, what the hell was that? 96 00:04:15,644 --> 00:04:17,782 What? I'm offering advice to my daughter. 97 00:04:17,782 --> 00:04:19,519 No, you're sex-blocking her. 98 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:21,222 We need a better word for that. 99 00:04:21,222 --> 00:04:22,825 It's for her own good. 100 00:04:22,825 --> 00:04:24,863 A mother looks after her daughter in these matters. 101 00:04:24,863 --> 00:04:26,667 So you genital-preventing 102 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,238 your own daughter had nothing to do with jealousy? 103 00:04:29,238 --> 00:04:30,741 - Jealousy? - You watched him flirt 104 00:04:30,741 --> 00:04:32,411 with her, and I watched you watching. 105 00:04:32,411 --> 00:04:34,148 So we both like watching things. 106 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,751 Look at us and our kinks. 107 00:04:35,751 --> 00:04:37,922 If anything, he was trying to make me jealous. 108 00:04:37,922 --> 00:04:41,262 That's exactly the kind of mind game I want to protect her from. 109 00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:43,934 - Hello, Thor. - Oh, hi. 110 00:04:44,969 --> 00:04:46,940 I can't believe Ty and Stupe got invited 111 00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:49,512 to that thing just 'cause they're "demi-gods." 112 00:04:49,512 --> 00:04:51,517 I mean, they were born with legs. 113 00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:53,520 Isn't that enough? Screw that party. 114 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,192 We'll have fun together. We should go and have a drink. 115 00:04:56,192 --> 00:04:57,862 Eh, maybe. 116 00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:59,866 I might just blow up some stuff and call it a night. 117 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,839 Oh, look, the Norse gods brought trolls with them. 118 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,277 Those are trolls? Those guys are evil. 119 00:05:05,277 --> 00:05:06,947 And I heard if you get one to bleed, 120 00:05:06,947 --> 00:05:08,449 their blood turns to gold. 121 00:05:08,449 --> 00:05:10,621 We should mess him up. We should drain him. 122 00:05:10,621 --> 00:05:13,593 You would kill someone for money just like that? 123 00:05:13,593 --> 00:05:16,399 A troll? Hell yeah. The world would thank us. 124 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,971 That sounds way too self-satisfied. 125 00:05:18,971 --> 00:05:20,440 Self-satisfied? 126 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,444 Are we not talking about trolls here? 127 00:05:22,444 --> 00:05:25,350 Is this how I find out my dad loves trolls? 128 00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:27,855 They eat children! You don't get it because 129 00:05:27,855 --> 00:05:29,593 you don't drink with people. You're going 130 00:05:29,593 --> 00:05:32,264 to highroad me for not being a drunk now? 131 00:05:32,264 --> 00:05:34,101 It's a vibe, and one you'd do well 132 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,439 to spend some time in. Spend some time? 133 00:05:36,439 --> 00:05:38,476 Who the hell else do you drink with? 134 00:05:38,476 --> 00:05:40,480 I've had drinks with ogres, with krakens. 135 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,484 There's a monster in Africa that's just a horse 136 00:05:42,484 --> 00:05:44,956 with a long neck, and I've had drinks with those guys. 137 00:05:44,956 --> 00:05:46,760 You're talking about giraffes? 138 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,964 Giraffes are peaceful. - They're absolute monsters. 139 00:05:48,964 --> 00:05:51,335 Their master plan starts with convincing you fellows 140 00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:52,972 they're just animals, but trust me. 141 00:05:52,972 --> 00:05:55,344 They'll grow whatever it takes to eat everything. 142 00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:58,083 - OK, fine! - And yet, and yet! 143 00:05:58,083 --> 00:05:59,553 I've sat down and had a drink 144 00:05:59,553 --> 00:06:01,590 with one, and we found common ground. 145 00:06:01,590 --> 00:06:03,895 So you're telling me if I sit down and drink 146 00:06:03,895 --> 00:06:06,901 with a fricking troll, I'll come away from that 147 00:06:06,901 --> 00:06:09,038 not thinking he's a complete piece of crap? 148 00:06:09,038 --> 00:06:10,641 Why don't we find out? 149 00:06:10,641 --> 00:06:12,779 Excuse me, my friend and I were 150 00:06:12,779 --> 00:06:16,620 just talking about how much we hate bridge trespassers. 151 00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:19,592 Oh, don't get me started! I mean, hello! 152 00:06:19,592 --> 00:06:22,464 A bridge is not just some friggin' pile of rocks 153 00:06:22,464 --> 00:06:26,171 for you to walk over. It's someone's home! 154 00:06:26,171 --> 00:06:27,541 Thor, old friend. 155 00:06:27,541 --> 00:06:29,111 Oh, hello. 156 00:06:29,111 --> 00:06:31,315 Would you like me to look upon your breasts now? 157 00:06:31,315 --> 00:06:33,320 - Darling, it's me. - Have we met? 158 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,956 You can stop the charade now. 159 00:06:34,956 --> 00:06:37,461 I dumped you, and I'm sorry if you can't get over it. 160 00:06:37,461 --> 00:06:40,199 I'm so sorry. I really have no recollection. 161 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:43,741 You are saying you and me, we... 162 00:06:43,741 --> 00:06:45,878 - You are joking. - I'm very bad at joking. 163 00:06:45,878 --> 00:06:49,085 I do know one joke, though. A man has accidentally 164 00:06:49,085 --> 00:06:50,889 eaten the feces of his teacher. 165 00:06:50,889 --> 00:06:53,627 It's funny because in our language, the word 166 00:06:53,627 --> 00:06:55,765 for teacher, man, feces, eaten, and accidentally 167 00:06:55,765 --> 00:06:58,002 all sound almost identical! 168 00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:00,040 We had sex for hundreds of years! 169 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,547 You called me Spanky Tush! I called you Mr. Lollipop! 170 00:07:03,547 --> 00:07:06,285 This does not ring a bell, or as we say, 171 00:07:06,285 --> 00:07:07,955 "gut a fish." 172 00:07:07,955 --> 00:07:10,327 Pretending he doesn't remember me? 173 00:07:10,327 --> 00:07:12,632 Can you believe the lies this guy tells? 174 00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,636 Well, maybe he actually doesn't remember you. 175 00:07:14,636 --> 00:07:16,607 Oh, he remembers me, and he'll do the same thing 176 00:07:16,607 --> 00:07:18,844 to her, and she won't be able to handle it. 177 00:07:18,844 --> 00:07:20,848 Oh, right, this is something you can handle, 178 00:07:20,848 --> 00:07:23,721 which is why you're so angry. - Don't change the subject! 179 00:07:23,721 --> 00:07:25,925 This is about Stupendous, and he does not get 180 00:07:25,925 --> 00:07:27,762 to do this to me-- I mean, her. 181 00:07:27,762 --> 00:07:29,632 That meant nothing. I mix up my words sometimes, 182 00:07:29,632 --> 00:07:32,137 like "horse" and "fish." I did that once. 183 00:07:32,137 --> 00:07:34,141 Mother, you are flailing right now, 184 00:07:34,141 --> 00:07:36,547 and I'm not judging. I know exactly what you're feeling. 185 00:07:36,547 --> 00:07:39,418 You're feeling weak, irrelevant, like everyone knows 186 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,222 you wet the bed, as a random hypothetical, 187 00:07:41,222 --> 00:07:43,727 and the minute you demand they stop thinking you wet beds-- 188 00:07:43,727 --> 00:07:46,599 again hypothetically, you've put yourself in a spiral 189 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,737 that ends with you walking around with your sheets, 190 00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:51,408 making everyone smell them to confirm there's no urine. 191 00:07:51,408 --> 00:07:54,949 Which is pathetic, or would be if anyone had ever done it. 192 00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:57,622 What are you saying, besides you wet beds? 193 00:07:57,622 --> 00:07:59,626 The minute you start penis-deflecting 194 00:07:59,626 --> 00:08:01,630 your own daughter, you're headed into trouble. 195 00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:03,867 Not if I'm headed into awesome. 196 00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:05,337 Horse exit! 197 00:08:05,337 --> 00:08:07,675 See? 198 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:11,917 Hela, fair warning. 199 00:08:11,917 --> 00:08:13,754 I will have your brother tonight. 200 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:16,860 - Not if I get there first. - Uh, I have wings on my feet. 201 00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:19,264 I get everywhere first. It looks like you may be 202 00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:22,638 too late, as my brother has already chosen a bed partner. 203 00:08:22,638 --> 00:08:24,643 I'm so curious about you, 204 00:08:24,643 --> 00:08:26,445 like, what's your deepest fear? Tell me. 205 00:08:26,445 --> 00:08:28,818 Pretty much a tie between nothing and nobody. 206 00:08:28,818 --> 00:08:30,822 What's yours? Mine is that I will fall 207 00:08:30,822 --> 00:08:34,529 onto an upturned chair and be penetrated by one of its legs. 208 00:08:34,529 --> 00:08:37,267 - Yeah, that would haunt me. - But my biggest fear 209 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,574 is I'm afraid of not kissing you. 210 00:08:40,574 --> 00:08:42,443 Oh, hello there. 211 00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:44,481 I brought drinks for the lovebirds. 212 00:08:44,481 --> 00:08:46,151 - Mom. - There are some who say gods 213 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,524 should only be with gods, but you're not afraid 214 00:08:48,524 --> 00:08:51,061 to date beneath you. Love wins. 215 00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:53,066 - Mom. - I'm excited by how strong 216 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,605 your daughter is. For a mortal, sure. 217 00:08:55,605 --> 00:08:57,609 She was strong even as a baby. You would have been 218 00:08:57,609 --> 00:08:59,613 several million years old by then. 219 00:08:59,613 --> 00:09:01,082 Does that trouble you, 220 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,687 the almost incalculable age difference? 221 00:09:03,687 --> 00:09:05,692 Mom, isn't there a city you could be blowing up? 222 00:09:05,692 --> 00:09:08,429 Or look, this servant spilled a drink on you. 223 00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:10,233 - No, I didn't. - Seems like a problem 224 00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:12,739 that demands all of your attention right now. 225 00:09:12,739 --> 00:09:14,575 Doesn't she deserve to be a goat? 226 00:09:14,575 --> 00:09:16,746 I know I'd love to see it. I'm fine, Ty. 227 00:09:16,746 --> 00:09:18,750 - You're not, Mother. - I hear you're looking 228 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:21,623 to couple up. I have every set of genitals, 229 00:09:21,623 --> 00:09:24,762 and they are fresh. Get off me, worm. 230 00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:30,741 So then this mermaid goes, 231 00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:32,611 "Well, you're my first troll, 232 00:09:32,611 --> 00:09:34,983 so I guess we're both new at this." 233 00:09:37,087 --> 00:09:39,291 But I didn't love her, which is why I had to 234 00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:42,665 toss her back. I knew I couldn't give her what she needed. 235 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,970 Sounds like you did the honorable thing. 236 00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:47,473 Yup, yup, so lemme ask you something, Grarg, 237 00:09:47,473 --> 00:09:50,480 speaking of love, and I see you're a real romantic... 238 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,317 That I am. That I am. 239 00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:54,522 Would you say that maybe not all people 240 00:09:54,522 --> 00:09:56,560 should be loved the same amount automatically? 241 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,898 Now you're talking my language. 242 00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:01,368 Interesting. So what do you think about 243 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:05,545 this concept of some people being better than others? 244 00:10:05,545 --> 00:10:07,380 - Are we cool? - Well, I mean, 245 00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:10,453 don't say anything you wouldn't say among friends. 246 00:10:10,453 --> 00:10:13,527 Well, it sounds like you guys are talking about... 247 00:10:13,527 --> 00:10:14,863 mothers. 248 00:10:14,863 --> 00:10:16,866 - Wait. Mothers? - Mothers deserve 249 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,837 to be lifted above everyone. 250 00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:20,841 They give us life, they nourish us, 251 00:10:20,841 --> 00:10:23,379 and what do we do in return? We take 'em for granted. 252 00:10:23,379 --> 00:10:26,587 They should be cherished, every last one of them. 253 00:10:26,587 --> 00:10:29,091 Absolutely. And I'm not even winking. 254 00:10:29,091 --> 00:10:31,462 If I could have my mom back for one day, 255 00:10:31,462 --> 00:10:33,133 you know what I would do? 256 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,936 Anything she wanted. 257 00:10:34,936 --> 00:10:37,942 To mothers! To Olympus! 258 00:10:37,942 --> 00:10:40,948 I see friendships forming. Love blossoming. 259 00:10:40,948 --> 00:10:43,654 My boy Thor's made a new friend, looks like. 260 00:10:43,654 --> 00:10:47,260 And mutual respect between our two god-doms! 261 00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,999 - Hear, hear! - And even though you guys really 262 00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:52,304 borked our Yggdrasil Tree, which is, like, the single 263 00:10:52,304 --> 00:10:55,176 most sacred--but whatever. I'm past it, I'm past it. 264 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,582 You guys are cool, we're cool, I'm cool. 265 00:10:57,582 --> 00:11:00,153 Anyway, Skol! Skol! 266 00:11:00,153 --> 00:11:02,559 Hey, come on, Mom. Let this one go. 267 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,361 War's been averted, they're letting go 268 00:11:04,361 --> 00:11:06,867 of all the tree silliness, and look how happy Stupe is. 269 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,204 They're clearly hitting it off. Ha ha ha ha! 270 00:11:09,204 --> 00:11:12,143 Wait, the feces came from his teacher? 271 00:11:12,143 --> 00:11:13,781 That is hilarious! 272 00:11:13,781 --> 00:11:16,151 - She's making a huge mistake. - What if she's not? 273 00:11:16,151 --> 00:11:17,822 For that matter, what if she is? 274 00:11:17,822 --> 00:11:19,324 It doesn't take away from you at all. 275 00:11:19,324 --> 00:11:21,229 You're still hot, and I don't need anyone 276 00:11:21,229 --> 00:11:23,233 unpacking that. It's an objective compliment. 277 00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:25,103 This isn't about me. I need to prove 278 00:11:25,103 --> 00:11:26,974 he remembers having sex with me. 279 00:11:26,974 --> 00:11:28,978 That sounds like it's very much about you. 280 00:11:28,978 --> 00:11:30,981 There you are. Tell me, Mr. King, 281 00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,685 do you like snakes? No, 282 00:11:32,685 --> 00:11:34,154 we already established I don't. 283 00:11:34,154 --> 00:11:35,891 Then why are you drinking one? 284 00:11:35,891 --> 00:11:37,562 Aah! 285 00:11:37,562 --> 00:11:40,868 That's very clever, but we're having a discussion here. 286 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,838 What discussion can be more important 287 00:11:42,838 --> 00:11:45,811 than your missing sandals? Where could they be? 288 00:11:45,811 --> 00:11:47,815 Inside of this snake? 289 00:11:47,815 --> 00:11:49,819 It's fun. It's very fun stuff. 290 00:11:49,819 --> 00:11:51,823 You do a lot with snakes and sandals, I see, 291 00:11:51,823 --> 00:11:54,829 but my mother and I are talking about a family matter. 292 00:11:54,829 --> 00:11:56,833 Yes, I've heard. You have been spurned 293 00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:58,837 by a lover. It's fine. She's fine. 294 00:11:58,837 --> 00:12:01,041 One time, my lover chose another man. 295 00:12:01,041 --> 00:12:03,513 Then do you know what I did? I made myself look exactly 296 00:12:03,513 --> 00:12:06,419 like this other man and made love to her as him. 297 00:12:08,222 --> 00:12:10,595 The look on her face when I revealed myself. 298 00:12:10,595 --> 00:12:13,032 It was delicious revenge! 299 00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:15,169 To get your girlfriend to have sex with you, thinking 300 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:17,709 you were someone better? Am I missing something cultural? 301 00:12:17,709 --> 00:12:19,377 It was chaotic power! 302 00:12:19,377 --> 00:12:21,749 She will never forget what I did to her that day! 303 00:12:21,749 --> 00:12:24,220 And this was a burn on her, not you? 304 00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:26,258 - I'm going to get more snakes. - There is something 305 00:12:26,258 --> 00:12:28,262 to what he's saying. Are you kidding? 306 00:12:28,262 --> 00:12:30,267 You want to turn yourself into Stupendous 307 00:12:30,267 --> 00:12:32,270 and have sex with Thor? Of course not, 308 00:12:32,270 --> 00:12:34,274 but if Thor thinks I'm Stupendous, 309 00:12:34,274 --> 00:12:36,479 he'll tell her things he refuses to tell me. 310 00:12:36,479 --> 00:12:38,416 Namely that he remembers. 311 00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:40,353 I will not let you do this. It is petty, 312 00:12:40,353 --> 00:12:42,725 embarrassing, and messed-up. And there's consent issues. 313 00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:44,729 As petty, embarrassing, and messed-up 314 00:12:44,729 --> 00:12:47,400 as breaking a tree and pretending you didn't? 315 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,139 Wait. You knew? Why haven't you told anyone? 316 00:12:50,139 --> 00:12:52,110 Because we are a family, and families 317 00:12:52,110 --> 00:12:54,114 let each other do petty, embarrassing, 318 00:12:54,114 --> 00:12:56,284 and messed-up things if they want. 319 00:12:56,284 --> 00:12:58,022 Aren't families supposed to save each other 320 00:12:58,022 --> 00:12:59,324 from themselves? I don't have 321 00:12:59,324 --> 00:13:01,028 the slightest idea what families do. 322 00:13:01,028 --> 00:13:02,965 - But you just said that-- - Let me put it this way: 323 00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:05,302 You out me, I out you. 324 00:13:06,471 --> 00:13:08,810 So, unless you have more integrity than me, 325 00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:11,549 I have a trick to play. 326 00:13:13,821 --> 00:13:15,791 ♪ Well, he reached for the door ♪ 327 00:13:15,791 --> 00:13:17,795 ♪ And his willy hit the floor ♪ 328 00:13:17,795 --> 00:13:21,335 ♪ And that's why they call him Johnson! ♪ 329 00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:23,507 You know what I never thought about? 330 00:13:23,507 --> 00:13:26,011 So that song presupposes a world 331 00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:30,019 where the nickname Johnson exists before the guy with the-- 332 00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:32,157 Oh, my God! I'm a super-genius, 333 00:13:32,157 --> 00:13:34,662 and I never even thought of that! 334 00:13:34,662 --> 00:13:38,235 That's why you can only sing it when you're wasted. 335 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,973 He's funny! You see that? 336 00:13:39,973 --> 00:13:42,979 Funny, thoughtful, a man full of surprises. 337 00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:46,886 That he is. 338 00:13:46,886 --> 00:13:48,890 I know I'm just drinking to escape. 339 00:13:48,890 --> 00:13:50,861 You wanna know my darkest secret? 340 00:13:50,861 --> 00:13:52,865 Sounds very vulnerable. 341 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,869 And yet dark. I'm in love 342 00:13:54,869 --> 00:13:57,006 with my best friend's girlfriend. 343 00:13:57,006 --> 00:13:59,011 The mermaid? No! 344 00:13:59,011 --> 00:14:01,047 Connie was just a distraction. 345 00:14:01,047 --> 00:14:04,722 Her name is Grelda, but she's never gonna leave Grunk. 346 00:14:04,722 --> 00:14:07,561 Is this gonna be enough food? 347 00:14:07,561 --> 00:14:11,636 ♪ Malog mog mog, den malog grog grog ♪ 348 00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:15,845 ♪ Den malog mog grog grog penis! 349 00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:17,313 And when all is said and done, we are 350 00:14:17,313 --> 00:14:19,519 just guys, singing about our parts. 351 00:14:19,519 --> 00:14:21,523 You know what, Grarg? Grarg. 352 00:14:21,523 --> 00:14:24,194 Grarg, come in close. I'm glad I got to know you. 353 00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:27,400 Same, but now I gotta drain you. 354 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,605 What? 355 00:14:32,744 --> 00:14:36,084 Deliria as Stupe: Hey, I got some of this yeasty swill, 356 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:39,324 which I love, because I'm Stupe! 357 00:14:40,961 --> 00:14:43,399 I love how much gas is in it. 358 00:14:43,399 --> 00:14:45,102 This reminds me of another joke. 359 00:14:45,102 --> 00:14:47,106 A milkmaid goes to fetch some water, 360 00:14:47,106 --> 00:14:50,113 and her cow lifts her skirt with its flatulence. 361 00:14:50,113 --> 00:14:52,117 This is funny because once again-- 362 00:14:52,117 --> 00:14:54,121 Deliria as Stupe: Hilarious. I'm Stupe. 363 00:14:54,121 --> 00:14:57,260 I talk plain. Ha ha! Butts. 364 00:14:57,260 --> 00:14:59,999 So I have a question. You and my mom, you were 365 00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:02,671 just messing with her, right? You and her had a thing 366 00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:04,942 that you remember, right? Mother, I thought 367 00:15:04,942 --> 00:15:06,646 about it, and I cannot let you do this. 368 00:15:06,646 --> 00:15:09,350 You are mistaking your sister for your mother, 369 00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,890 which is very amusing because-- 370 00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:13,860 Deliria as Stupe: Ty, don't get in the way here. 371 00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:16,031 I'm Stupe, and Thor was just about 372 00:15:16,031 --> 00:15:18,570 to tell me something about our mother. 373 00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:20,273 Don't listen to her. She's my dumb mother, 374 00:15:20,273 --> 00:15:22,276 about to do a very dumb thing. 375 00:15:22,276 --> 00:15:24,280 What did we say about keeping quiet? 376 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,485 Stop! Stop this! Stay out of this! 377 00:15:26,485 --> 00:15:28,924 Oof! Aah! 378 00:15:28,924 --> 00:15:30,426 Hey, I got us some 379 00:15:30,426 --> 00:15:34,602 of that swill I like-- What the hell! 380 00:15:37,308 --> 00:15:39,111 Wait, so Norse gods can die? 381 00:15:39,111 --> 00:15:40,814 You're telling me that the canonical real story 382 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,620 of the beloved god Thor is now that he died at a party 383 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:46,358 on Mt. Olympus when the goddess Deliria shoved him and he got 384 00:15:46,358 --> 00:15:48,930 fatally penetrated by a chair? Yes. 385 00:15:48,930 --> 00:15:50,634 What the hell were you thinking?! 386 00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:53,339 I wasn't thinking. Aah! What is this feeling? 387 00:15:53,339 --> 00:15:55,176 There's a feeling in my stomach. 388 00:15:55,176 --> 00:15:56,880 - Is it like a pit? - Yes, 389 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,251 like a pit of bad. A badness in my stomach. 390 00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:02,190 - Yes, that's called shame. - Which you should be feeling! 391 00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:04,695 I warned you about it, but the more pressing issue is 392 00:16:04,695 --> 00:16:06,498 the probable end of humanity. 393 00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:08,269 Oh, let me see if I can fix this. 394 00:16:08,269 --> 00:16:11,175 Is--is there a way we can make this look heroic? 395 00:16:11,175 --> 00:16:14,314 Ah, OK, OK. He's not impaled on a chair. 396 00:16:14,314 --> 00:16:17,220 He was stabbed. That's a little better. 397 00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:20,293 Hey, he--he fought valiantly... 398 00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:22,296 against... 399 00:16:22,296 --> 00:16:24,101 a mouse. 400 00:16:24,101 --> 00:16:26,405 No, a giant mouse, who, 401 00:16:26,405 --> 00:16:31,381 after killing Thor, was cursed forever to be small. 402 00:16:32,651 --> 00:16:35,624 They're never gonna buy this, are they? 403 00:16:35,624 --> 00:16:38,329 My brave son did everything he could, 404 00:16:38,329 --> 00:16:41,001 but the giant mouse proved too powerful. 405 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,707 We're told he fought bravely, but alas, 406 00:16:43,707 --> 00:16:45,644 this was the giant mouse's day. 407 00:16:45,644 --> 00:16:48,015 I knew we'd pull this off. The peace holds, 408 00:16:48,015 --> 00:16:50,219 and they've got themselves a great little story. 409 00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:53,025 Maybe sometimes a price doesn't have to be paid. 410 00:16:53,025 --> 00:16:55,496 Aah! 411 00:16:55,496 --> 00:16:57,901 Such is the legacy of Thor, 412 00:16:57,901 --> 00:16:59,906 God of Thunder, 413 00:16:59,906 --> 00:17:01,776 killed by a giant mouse. 414 00:17:01,776 --> 00:17:04,080 Aah! 415 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,318 Very sorry. 416 00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:09,692 That's actually kind of cool. 417 00:17:09,692 --> 00:17:11,696 Aah! 418 00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:13,332 It's this thing in my stomach. 419 00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:15,336 I get a little relief when I scream fire, 420 00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:17,007 but it just comes right back. 421 00:17:17,007 --> 00:17:19,177 Wah! God, I'm telling you, 422 00:17:19,177 --> 00:17:21,983 that is shame. You did something shameful. 423 00:17:21,983 --> 00:17:23,553 Fine, let's call it shame. 424 00:17:23,553 --> 00:17:25,256 I just need to get rid of it. Should I set fire 425 00:17:25,256 --> 00:17:27,427 to more things? Whoa! It won't work, 426 00:17:27,427 --> 00:17:29,297 Trust me. I'm no stranger to it. 427 00:17:29,297 --> 00:17:31,570 I'm carrying a fair amount of shame at all times. 428 00:17:31,570 --> 00:17:33,573 - So help me get rid of it. - As far as I know, 429 00:17:33,573 --> 00:17:36,144 there's only one way that's even halfway reliable. 430 00:17:36,144 --> 00:17:38,617 Face your daughter. - Am I spitting fire on her? 431 00:17:38,617 --> 00:17:40,319 I'll just deflect it. 432 00:17:40,319 --> 00:17:42,224 We can do this all day. 433 00:17:42,224 --> 00:17:44,194 No, you're not spitting fire on her. 434 00:17:44,194 --> 00:17:46,198 Just say the words "I'm sorry." 435 00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:48,737 - Do I have to mean them? - Start by saying them. 436 00:17:48,737 --> 00:17:50,072 I'm sorry. 437 00:17:50,072 --> 00:17:51,576 Oh, that does feel slightly better. 438 00:17:51,576 --> 00:17:53,245 Maybe try meaning it. 439 00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:55,249 I'm sorry... 440 00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:57,622 that I can't mean it any more than this, 441 00:17:57,622 --> 00:17:59,926 but I am willing to say it. I'm sorry. 442 00:17:59,926 --> 00:18:02,130 It's a start. And now, I'm afraid 443 00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:04,735 both of us have to come clean with those guys. 444 00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:08,977 My son and I have an announcement. 445 00:18:08,977 --> 00:18:10,981 Let's drain the fish first. 446 00:18:10,981 --> 00:18:12,751 Drain me? Why? 447 00:18:12,751 --> 00:18:15,623 The word under the bridge is your blood gets us high. 448 00:18:15,623 --> 00:18:17,360 You don't even know? 449 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,897 You're draining me on spec?! 450 00:18:18,897 --> 00:18:20,399 You people are terrible. 451 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:22,236 Yeah. We're trolls. 452 00:18:22,236 --> 00:18:24,074 Dad, now you're saying they're bad? 453 00:18:24,074 --> 00:18:25,878 Yes, because he didn't play fair. 454 00:18:25,878 --> 00:18:28,215 Oh, hilarious! You hear that, Grarg? 455 00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:31,088 You didn't play by the rules of getting wasted! 456 00:18:31,088 --> 00:18:33,627 Grarg, friend, come on, please. 457 00:18:33,627 --> 00:18:36,298 You felt something. We sang fun songs. 458 00:18:36,298 --> 00:18:38,937 Grarg, Grarg, come on, find it, find it, man! 459 00:18:38,937 --> 00:18:40,439 I said giraffes are the worst. 460 00:18:40,439 --> 00:18:42,410 You agreed. They are. 461 00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:43,880 You cried on my shoulder. 462 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,418 The thing with that girl, your best friend's wife. 463 00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:48,422 What's her name? Grelda! Grelda? 464 00:18:48,422 --> 00:18:50,426 You slept with Grarg? 465 00:18:50,426 --> 00:18:52,163 She loves me more! 466 00:18:52,163 --> 00:18:55,136 You bastard! Don't hurt him! 467 00:18:55,136 --> 00:18:57,406 This is probably our best chance. 468 00:18:57,406 --> 00:19:00,580 Yep. 469 00:19:03,052 --> 00:19:05,056 Wow! That was freaky. 470 00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:07,026 Shlub, chuckling: Nice memory! 471 00:19:07,026 --> 00:19:09,363 You know what, Dad? We should drink more often. 472 00:19:09,363 --> 00:19:13,205 Yes, that's my fishy boy! 473 00:19:22,056 --> 00:19:24,227 I really appreciate you giving us the chance 474 00:19:24,227 --> 00:19:26,431 to make things right. And I'm sorry 475 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,737 I killed your son. It was the ultimate trick. 476 00:19:28,737 --> 00:19:30,908 No, it wasn't. It was shameful. 477 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,378 and tricks are stupid. 478 00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:39,491 Thank you for repairing our tree, 479 00:19:39,491 --> 00:19:42,363 and to be honest, I never quite clicked with Thor, 480 00:19:42,363 --> 00:19:44,969 so, yeah, this matter is closed. 481 00:19:44,969 --> 00:19:47,473 Thor should be up there now if you want to see him. 482 00:19:47,473 --> 00:19:49,879 You don't have to ask me twice. 483 00:19:49,879 --> 00:19:51,682 So, he is immortal? 484 00:19:51,682 --> 00:19:55,356 No, he's dead, but you can go up and he can come down. 485 00:19:55,356 --> 00:19:57,862 You've got a very flexible ontology here. 486 00:19:57,862 --> 00:19:59,965 Wait. It's been bothering me all night. 487 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:02,470 You look familiar. Spanky Tush? 488 00:20:02,470 --> 00:20:06,111 Mr. Lollipop? Yes! 489 00:20:06,111 --> 00:20:07,647 It was us who had sex! 490 00:20:07,647 --> 00:20:09,953 I disguised myself as my son Thor 491 00:20:09,953 --> 00:20:13,191 because I saw you were attracted to him, which made me jealous. 492 00:20:13,191 --> 00:20:15,196 Oh, that makes so much more sense! 493 00:20:15,196 --> 00:20:17,000 I told you no one would have forgotten me. 494 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,003 Yes, Mother, no one would have forgotten you, 495 00:20:19,003 --> 00:20:22,209 but somehow, I forgot that all gods are sociopaths. 496 00:20:22,209 --> 00:20:24,214 This reminds me of a joke. 497 00:20:24,214 --> 00:20:26,018 We don't need to hear it. 498 00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:29,357 Well, love is in the air. Anyone up for-- 499 00:20:29,357 --> 00:20:33,498 We're busy. OK, copy that. 500 00:20:36,237 --> 00:20:37,240 A toast! 501 00:20:37,373 --> 00:20:39,310 To my brave son Thor, who is 502 00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:42,717 canonically dead now. Skol! 503 00:20:42,818 --> 00:20:44,789 All in all, it was a good trip. 504 00:20:44,789 --> 00:20:47,126 Hela, I hear you hooked up with Apollo. 505 00:20:47,126 --> 00:20:49,197 He was baby soft. 506 00:20:49,197 --> 00:20:51,703 And, Loki, amazing work down there. 507 00:20:51,703 --> 00:20:54,675 You did some of your best stuff. Heh heh heh! Did you guys see 508 00:20:54,675 --> 00:20:56,679 when that one guy's drink turned into snakes? 509 00:20:56,679 --> 00:20:58,683 And then his whole chair turned into snakes! 510 00:20:58,683 --> 00:21:00,887 So many snakes! 511 00:21:00,887 --> 00:21:03,058 That's his thing? He does tricks? 512 00:21:03,058 --> 00:21:06,264 No, it's good, a good little trick you did there. 513 00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:08,269 I'm just trying to get my head around it. 514 00:21:10,239 --> 00:21:13,279 My next trick will be Ragnarok! 515 00:21:13,279 --> 00:21:15,617 The sky darkening, monsters from all corners 516 00:21:15,617 --> 00:21:18,824 of the earth converging on Asgard, all the gods dying, 517 00:21:18,824 --> 00:21:23,031 and the sun and stars falling into the sea! 518 00:21:28,141 --> 00:21:31,314 Does anyone want more fish? 519 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,686 Did you get any of that? 520 00:21:35,957 --> 00:21:37,694 Bento.