1 00:00:00,181 --> 00:00:01,914 ♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:01,983 --> 00:00:05,487 (ALL GRUNT) 3 00:00:06,921 --> 00:00:08,423 Huh? What? 4 00:00:10,892 --> 00:00:12,991 (BLARING) 5 00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:18,434 It can't be. (GASPS) The stone of eternal servitude! 6 00:00:20,501 --> 00:00:22,838 ♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 7 00:00:24,773 --> 00:00:26,572 (WATER BURBLING) 8 00:00:26,642 --> 00:00:28,510 (BOTH SCREAM) 9 00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:34,647 Yes! A gem fit for a king. 10 00:00:34,716 --> 00:00:37,983 -I want it. (GRUNTS) -No! 11 00:00:38,052 --> 00:00:40,117 (LAUGHS MENACINGLY) 12 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,860 This is the most powerful force in the universe. 13 00:00:49,929 --> 00:00:53,668 And it must never fall into the wrong hands. (GROANS) 14 00:00:54,836 --> 00:00:57,435 ♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 15 00:00:57,504 --> 00:01:00,538 Ladies and gentlemen of the Board of Shadowy Figures. 16 00:01:00,607 --> 00:01:03,309 I present to you the most powerful force in the universe. 17 00:01:03,378 --> 00:01:04,476 (ALL GASP) 18 00:01:04,545 --> 00:01:06,111 -Give me! -The inscription warns 19 00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:07,875 that the crown is deadly in the wrong hands, 20 00:01:07,944 --> 00:01:09,849 and must only be worn by nobility. 21 00:01:09,918 --> 00:01:11,049 Fucking bullshit. 22 00:01:11,118 --> 00:01:13,052 Luckily, homecoming is approaching 23 00:01:13,121 --> 00:01:15,115 and we'll crown our king and queen. 24 00:01:15,184 --> 00:01:18,790 With them as our puppet, that power is ours. 25 00:01:18,858 --> 00:01:20,726 And you're sure it's going to work? 26 00:01:20,795 --> 00:01:21,926 Of course. 27 00:01:21,995 --> 00:01:24,866 Scudworth has assured me that nothing can go wrong. 28 00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:27,634 Say what now? I heard my name. 29 00:01:27,703 --> 00:01:28,766 (INSECT BUZZING) 30 00:01:28,835 --> 00:01:31,871 Very well then. If we want to take over the world, 31 00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:33,338 we have to break a few eggs. 32 00:01:33,407 --> 00:01:35,607 This is all riding on you, Scudworth. 33 00:01:35,676 --> 00:01:39,278 -Ah! But I didn't-- -(LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY) 34 00:01:39,347 --> 00:01:42,514 -Let homecoming begin. -(THUNDER RUMBLING) 35 00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:46,055 ♪ (MARCHING BAND VERSION OF THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 36 00:02:29,296 --> 00:02:30,432 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 37 00:02:31,432 --> 00:02:33,669 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 38 00:02:36,071 --> 00:02:38,536 Damn! This float's gonna be goat! 39 00:02:38,605 --> 00:02:41,140 Do you think there's enough corporate diarrhea splatter? 40 00:02:41,209 --> 00:02:42,575 -Never. -(CHUCKLES) 41 00:02:42,644 --> 00:02:44,676 What a fun homecoming float. 42 00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:47,379 You're capturing all the joys of a high school football game. 43 00:02:47,448 --> 00:02:49,481 No, this is the Art Club float. 44 00:02:49,550 --> 00:02:51,450 I'm so excited because people really care 45 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,014 about issues these days, so we're using homecoming 46 00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:56,055 to make a thought-provoking statement 47 00:02:56,124 --> 00:02:58,390 about corruption and corporate greed. 48 00:02:58,459 --> 00:03:01,460 It's gonna be a hoot. (YELLS) Homecoming! 49 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:04,563 The only float I care about is you, Joan, 50 00:03:04,632 --> 00:03:07,465 because you float my boat. (CHUCKLES) 51 00:03:07,534 --> 00:03:12,604 And by boat, I mean penis. And by float, I also mean penis. 52 00:03:12,673 --> 00:03:17,776 -You penis my penis. -Oh, you two! (CHUCKLES) 53 00:03:17,845 --> 00:03:20,216 Terrible! (LAUGHS) 54 00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:23,481 -(CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS) -Vote for me. 55 00:03:23,550 --> 00:03:26,584 I've got everything you need to be homecoming queen. 56 00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:29,221 I'm a total ten with the best bod. 57 00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:32,024 Plus, I'm giving out pumpkin spice lattes. 58 00:03:32,093 --> 00:03:33,593 -(CROWD CHEERS) -I'll take one. 59 00:03:33,662 --> 00:03:35,194 That one's not for me. Okay. 60 00:03:35,263 --> 00:03:38,264 Pumpkin mixed with coffee? What has the world come to? 61 00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:40,265 -I'll have one. -I'll have one, too. 62 00:03:40,334 --> 00:03:42,634 They're still doing homecoming court? 63 00:03:42,703 --> 00:03:45,104 That's so last century. What's next? 64 00:03:45,173 --> 00:03:47,739 The Electric Slide, or the Macarena, or the-- 65 00:03:47,808 --> 00:03:50,742 "Instructional Boogie." Everyone's favorite song. 66 00:03:50,811 --> 00:03:52,143 ♪ ("THE INSTRUCTIONAL BOOGIE" PLAYING) ♪ 67 00:03:52,212 --> 00:03:54,447 -(CROWD CHEERS) -STUDENT: Whoo! This is everyone's favorite song. 68 00:03:54,516 --> 00:03:55,947 What is happening? 69 00:03:56,016 --> 00:03:58,049 ANNOUNCER: (OVER RADIO) It's time for everyone's favorite song, 70 00:03:58,118 --> 00:04:00,953 "The Instructional Boogie," which means this song has lyrics 71 00:04:01,022 --> 00:04:02,916 that will tell you exactly what to do. 72 00:04:02,985 --> 00:04:04,590 Well, what are we waiting for? 73 00:04:04,659 --> 00:04:05,757 ♪ Jump up and down ♪ 74 00:04:05,826 --> 00:04:07,926 ♪ Wave your right hand And wave your left thumb ♪ 75 00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:09,890 ♪ Now clap your hands Gently four times ♪ 76 00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,033 ♪ And scratch your ear ♪ 77 00:04:13,034 --> 00:04:15,334 Cleo! Cleo, I'll take one. 78 00:04:15,403 --> 00:04:17,770 Is that everyone? Does anyone else need a latte? 79 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,504 Me. Am I invisible or something? 80 00:04:19,573 --> 00:04:21,406 ♪ Now groove on over To your high school nemesis ♪ 81 00:04:21,475 --> 00:04:22,640 ♪ Pretend to be nice ♪ 82 00:04:22,709 --> 00:04:25,911 Hey, Joan, vote for me for homecoming queen. 83 00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:28,313 Want some pumpkin spice in your mouth hole? 84 00:04:28,382 --> 00:04:31,616 No, thanks. My homecoming is an opportunity 85 00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:34,519 to shine light onto the broken justice system. 86 00:04:34,588 --> 00:04:36,821 -That's fun too. -I'm sorry, 87 00:04:36,890 --> 00:04:39,491 -is your mind also flat-chested? -(CUP THUDS) 88 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,726 CONFUCIUS: Ow! But, thanks. I'll take it. 89 00:04:41,795 --> 00:04:43,862 The world may have changed, but there's one thing 90 00:04:43,931 --> 00:04:47,566 that hasn't. Homecoming queens are still totally cute. 91 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,101 (CHUCKLES) That's why I'm gonna win. 92 00:04:49,170 --> 00:04:51,537 ♪ Make your hips go Dip, dip, dips ♪ 93 00:04:51,606 --> 00:04:53,572 I don't need songs to tell me when to dip. 94 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,774 I'll dip when I damn well please. 95 00:04:55,843 --> 00:04:58,310 You think you're better than me, but looks like your boyf 96 00:04:58,379 --> 00:04:59,845 is picking up what I'm putting down. 97 00:04:59,914 --> 00:05:01,546 ♪ Now, hop like a bunny Do the bunny hop ♪ 98 00:05:01,615 --> 00:05:03,550 -♪ Let me see your bunny hop ♪ -Tell me what to do, 99 00:05:03,619 --> 00:05:04,783 man from the radio! 100 00:05:04,852 --> 00:05:06,251 (GRUNTS) 101 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,057 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 102 00:05:08,824 --> 00:05:09,854 (DRINK SLURPS) 103 00:05:09,923 --> 00:05:12,657 Did you see Cleo campaigning for homecoming queen? 104 00:05:12,726 --> 00:05:15,995 She's so shameless. I mean, take it down a notch. 105 00:05:16,064 --> 00:05:17,897 Hmm. Kind of seems like you and Cleo 106 00:05:17,966 --> 00:05:20,499 are like my dad's favorite meal. All beef. 107 00:05:20,568 --> 00:05:22,768 All I'm saying is, she's a horrible person. 108 00:05:22,837 --> 00:05:24,770 We can't put her on a pedestal. Trust me. 109 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,439 I've lived there before. Nobody wants that. 110 00:05:27,508 --> 00:05:29,511 Well, her foamy lattes disagree. 111 00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:31,877 Oh, this drink is good. 112 00:05:31,946 --> 00:05:34,646 -I love Cleo. -It's like pie but you drink it. 113 00:05:34,715 --> 00:05:39,151 You don't get it. She's just... (GROANS) ...the worst! 114 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,987 She's toxic. Her, um, 115 00:05:42,056 --> 00:05:45,858 lattes are made from, uh, child labor. 116 00:05:45,927 --> 00:05:47,592 Is that true? 117 00:05:47,661 --> 00:05:51,163 -(CLOCK TICKING, DINGING) -Yes. 118 00:05:51,232 --> 00:05:54,400 Not only that, the kids work in the spice mines 119 00:05:54,469 --> 00:05:56,235 -under horrible conditions. -(CHILDREN CRYING) 120 00:05:56,304 --> 00:05:57,469 And the pumpkins 121 00:05:57,538 --> 00:06:01,007 are blood pumpkins, which is a real thing. 122 00:06:01,076 --> 00:06:03,342 Okay, disgusting. (GROANS) 123 00:06:03,411 --> 00:06:05,210 (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 124 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:07,412 ♪ (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 125 00:06:07,481 --> 00:06:09,681 ♪ You ain't talking 'bout me You ain't talking 'bout much ♪ 126 00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:11,450 ♪ I stay on card But it ain't no bluff ♪ 127 00:06:11,519 --> 00:06:13,018 ♪ Bet you won't say it again ♪ 128 00:06:13,087 --> 00:06:14,786 ♪ Never ever took an end That became a win ♪ 129 00:06:14,855 --> 00:06:16,554 ♪ Might be losing friends But I'm gaining hands ♪ 130 00:06:16,623 --> 00:06:18,257 ♪ My eyes are stuck I'm the champion ♪ 131 00:06:18,326 --> 00:06:20,325 ♪ (SONG FADES) ♪ 132 00:06:20,394 --> 00:06:22,331 ♪ (OMINOUS MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 133 00:06:41,983 --> 00:06:46,155 (BELL TOLLING) 134 00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:00,636 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 135 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:05,837 Assemble the masses. 136 00:07:05,906 --> 00:07:08,040 -♪ (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(CROWD CHEERING) 137 00:07:08,109 --> 00:07:10,142 It's the moment you've all been waiting for. 138 00:07:10,211 --> 00:07:12,444 This year's homecoming king 139 00:07:12,513 --> 00:07:17,382 is inexplicably popular, and so lovably dumb, 140 00:07:17,451 --> 00:07:19,785 and hot in a way that your parents approve of. 141 00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:20,986 Aw, shucks. 142 00:07:21,055 --> 00:07:23,989 HARRIET TUBMAN: But not a piece of total human garbage. 143 00:07:24,058 --> 00:07:25,157 Oh, come on. 144 00:07:25,226 --> 00:07:27,726 -(SHRIEKS) -HARRIET: Our king is JFK! 145 00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:31,629 -(EXCLAIMS) Yes! -(CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS) 146 00:07:31,698 --> 00:07:35,034 Oh, my God. I'm the king of coming! (CHUCKLES) 147 00:07:35,103 --> 00:07:39,338 At home! Let me grab my staff, and the family jewels. 148 00:07:39,407 --> 00:07:43,536 Scepter? I hardly know her. Ah! It's the friggin’ best. 149 00:07:43,605 --> 00:07:47,546 And now, the real moment we've all been waiting for. 150 00:07:47,615 --> 00:07:53,552 This year's homecoming queen is, clap your hands for Joan of Arc. 151 00:07:53,621 --> 00:07:55,024 -(CROWD CHEERS) -What? 152 00:07:57,325 --> 00:07:58,756 -This can't be happening. -This can't be happening. 153 00:07:58,825 --> 00:08:00,826 My queen, take a royal selfie with me. 154 00:08:00,895 --> 00:08:02,194 Would you sign my nut? 155 00:08:02,263 --> 00:08:05,565 -My queen! Sign my nut. -Sign my nut. 156 00:08:05,634 --> 00:08:08,461 We're homecoming royalty! 157 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,603 Two beautiful young people ruling the world, 158 00:08:11,672 --> 00:08:14,340 parading around in an open convertible. 159 00:08:14,409 --> 00:08:16,175 What could go wrong? 160 00:08:16,244 --> 00:08:18,843 Everything. Just 'cause I didn't want Cleo to win, 161 00:08:18,912 --> 00:08:21,646 doesn't mean I should. No one should be queen. 162 00:08:21,715 --> 00:08:24,216 Just enjoy it. You're so selfless 163 00:08:24,285 --> 00:08:26,919 and honest, Joan. You deserve this. 164 00:08:26,988 --> 00:08:30,356 No, you get off the stage. I want a recount. 165 00:08:30,425 --> 00:08:32,157 Congrats, Joan. Turns out, 166 00:08:32,226 --> 00:08:34,392 nobody wants to vote for a pumpkin murderer. 167 00:08:34,461 --> 00:08:36,432 -Pumpkin murderer. -(CROWD CLAMORS) 168 00:08:37,665 --> 00:08:38,792 (SOBS) 169 00:08:38,861 --> 00:08:40,065 Cleo... 170 00:08:40,134 --> 00:08:42,201 Well anyway, thanks for the tip, Joan. 171 00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:44,469 And now, we will crown our queen, 172 00:08:44,538 --> 00:08:46,405 as we slowly and deliberately 173 00:08:46,474 --> 00:08:53,474 placed the crown onto her head in ten, nine, eight, seven... 174 00:08:53,614 --> 00:08:56,382 My clone foster daughter is going to wear the crown. 175 00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:59,718 I'm so proud. The most powerful force in the universe 176 00:08:59,787 --> 00:09:01,786 will be living under my roof. 177 00:09:01,855 --> 00:09:04,890 And the board will give me credit for it. That's a real win 178 00:09:04,959 --> 00:09:06,859 -for the Scudman. -Ugh. 179 00:09:06,928 --> 00:09:10,466 HARRIET: One and a half, one and one quarter. 180 00:09:11,299 --> 00:09:13,465 One and a fifth. 181 00:09:13,534 --> 00:09:15,868 I actually have to go to the bathroom. 182 00:09:15,937 --> 00:09:17,839 (CROWD TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 183 00:09:19,674 --> 00:09:23,379 -(CLEO SOBBING) -Cleo? 184 00:09:25,814 --> 00:09:30,149 -Are you crying? -I'm not crying. 185 00:09:30,218 --> 00:09:32,188 I'm just leaking anger. 186 00:09:34,856 --> 00:09:37,059 It really seems like you're crying. 187 00:09:37,659 --> 00:09:39,157 Of course, I'm crying. 188 00:09:39,226 --> 00:09:41,960 You're so plain, and I'm super-hot. 189 00:09:42,029 --> 00:09:43,961 And yet, people voted for you. 190 00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:46,931 Being queen is the one thing I cared about, but you just 191 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,435 -couldn't let me have that. -Look, I don't even care 192 00:09:49,504 --> 00:09:51,436 about this stupid, basic, 193 00:09:51,505 --> 00:09:54,173 pointless, merely symbolic crown. 194 00:09:54,242 --> 00:09:57,443 I mean, if you want it so bad, take it. 195 00:09:57,512 --> 00:09:59,381 ♪ (FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 196 00:10:00,015 --> 00:10:01,646 I'm out of here! 197 00:10:01,715 --> 00:10:05,487 -(DOOR OPENING, CLOSING) -Now, I have the power. 198 00:10:07,322 --> 00:10:09,291 ♪ (FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 199 00:10:13,762 --> 00:10:14,763 Hmm? 200 00:10:17,966 --> 00:10:19,732 I'm beautiful. 201 00:10:19,801 --> 00:10:21,870 ♪ (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 202 00:10:22,437 --> 00:10:23,405 (BOTH GASP) 203 00:10:24,138 --> 00:10:26,008 (ALL GASP) 204 00:10:26,608 --> 00:10:27,740 (GASPS) 205 00:10:27,809 --> 00:10:29,008 ♪ (RAP MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 206 00:10:29,077 --> 00:10:31,042 People, we're ready for the parade. 207 00:10:31,111 --> 00:10:34,913 -Where's my homecoming queen? -(CHUCKLES) I'm right here. 208 00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:36,949 You're not the queen, Joan is. 209 00:10:37,018 --> 00:10:38,885 She's redefining female popularity 210 00:10:38,954 --> 00:10:40,680 with her feminist takes on justice reform. 211 00:10:40,749 --> 00:10:43,488 And we need to get her on the float, okay? Stat! 212 00:10:43,557 --> 00:10:48,197 But I am the queen. You need me on the float, stat. 213 00:10:51,066 --> 00:10:53,499 Yeah, I do, you hot bitch. 214 00:10:53,568 --> 00:10:56,002 Get that slammin' booty on my float. 215 00:10:56,071 --> 00:10:57,737 That's more like it. 216 00:10:57,806 --> 00:11:01,006 ♪ B-A-D Bad girls getting money ♪ 217 00:11:01,075 --> 00:11:04,413 ♪ B-A-D Ba-ba-bad dirty money ♪ 218 00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:08,881 Wait, is that pumpkin spice latte? 219 00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:13,752 Ew. Ugh, gross. Ugh, disgusting. 220 00:11:13,821 --> 00:11:16,392 Oh, the worst thing I've ever-- One more taste. 221 00:11:17,793 --> 00:11:20,325 Abe! Where are you going? 222 00:11:20,394 --> 00:11:23,528 I'm going to see Cleo on her fly parade float. 223 00:11:23,597 --> 00:11:25,231 She's the hottest girl in school. 224 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:29,134 A total ten with the best bod. Now, talk to the hand. 225 00:11:29,203 --> 00:11:31,803 Wait, why are you talking like Cleo? 226 00:11:31,872 --> 00:11:35,441 And why are you wearing a crop top and gaucho pants? 227 00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:39,745 Because it's cute. Bye! 228 00:11:39,813 --> 00:11:41,446 ♪ The beat goes Bang, bang, bang ♪ 229 00:11:41,515 --> 00:11:43,749 ♪ Work your body Oh, oh, oh ♪ 230 00:11:43,818 --> 00:11:46,155 -(CROWD CHEERS) -♪ (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 231 00:11:48,222 --> 00:11:51,757 -This is an utter disaster! -Yeah, I don't know 232 00:11:51,826 --> 00:11:53,158 what you're gonna tell the Board. 233 00:11:53,227 --> 00:11:54,627 I'd hate to be in your shoes. 234 00:11:54,696 --> 00:11:56,462 -(STAMMERS) -(MIMICS) 235 00:11:56,531 --> 00:11:58,763 Quit bickering. We have to stop Cleo 236 00:11:58,832 --> 00:12:01,066 before she does that thing where the usurper to the throne 237 00:12:01,135 --> 00:12:04,369 bends everyone to her will and rules with an iron fist. 238 00:12:04,438 --> 00:12:06,942 He's right. We just have to stay calm and... 239 00:12:07,975 --> 00:12:10,676 be total tens with the best bod. 240 00:12:10,745 --> 00:12:13,545 Oh! Cleopatra, comin' atcha! 241 00:12:13,614 --> 00:12:16,215 -(CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS) -PRINCIPAL SCUDWORTH: That float is the bomb dot com. 242 00:12:16,284 --> 00:12:19,117 Can you believe it took over 10,000 orchids to build it? 243 00:12:19,186 --> 00:12:22,254 -It's so hot. -So hot. 244 00:12:22,323 --> 00:12:24,156 -So hot. -Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, 245 00:12:24,225 --> 00:12:26,358 -hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. -Wait, what? 246 00:12:26,427 --> 00:12:27,725 SCUDWORTH: Here they come now, 247 00:12:27,794 --> 00:12:32,030 your homecoming queen and her king! Cleo and JFK! 248 00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:35,467 -(CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS) -What is going on? 249 00:12:35,536 --> 00:12:39,104 That's my boyfriend. Why is he acting so strange? 250 00:12:39,173 --> 00:12:41,673 (SPEAKING IN ROBOTIC VOICE) I am not a strange. 251 00:12:41,742 --> 00:12:46,911 -I am a normal. -I know you're in there, JFK. 252 00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:50,486 Uh, I don't--I don't want to beat around the bush. 253 00:12:51,285 --> 00:12:53,885 Maybe it's just hard for you. 254 00:12:53,954 --> 00:13:00,954 I wanna beat something hard around your bush. (EXHALES) 255 00:13:00,995 --> 00:13:03,532 Help me, Joanie. Help me! (STAMMERS) 256 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,834 (SPEAKING IN ROBOTIC VOICE) I'm hopelessly devoted to Cleo. 257 00:13:08,903 --> 00:13:13,439 I am no longer a fan of sexual puns. 258 00:13:13,508 --> 00:13:15,074 He's mine now, Joanie. 259 00:13:15,143 --> 00:13:18,480 I've turned him and I'm gonna turn you too. 260 00:13:21,783 --> 00:13:22,751 (YELLS) 261 00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,387 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 262 00:13:27,054 --> 00:13:30,723 -♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪ -Oh, no. 263 00:13:30,792 --> 00:13:32,661 That float's gonna hit me. 264 00:13:36,397 --> 00:13:40,069 -In a few minutes. -(TIRES SQUEALING) 265 00:13:41,436 --> 00:13:43,468 Grab my hand, Joan, I'll save you. 266 00:13:43,537 --> 00:13:45,804 Wait. You're not under Cleo's spell 267 00:13:45,873 --> 00:13:47,705 -like everyone else? -Um, I guess 268 00:13:47,774 --> 00:13:51,376 she doesn't really know I exist, which was bumming me out. 269 00:13:51,445 --> 00:13:54,080 -But now I see the benefits. -We've got to fix this. 270 00:13:54,149 --> 00:13:55,514 Come on, Confucius. 271 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:59,319 -(TIRES SQUEALING) -(GROANS) 272 00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:02,391 (BONES CRACKING) 273 00:14:09,597 --> 00:14:11,730 All right, Cleo will never find us in the library, 274 00:14:11,799 --> 00:14:13,198 because she doesn't know it exists. 275 00:14:13,267 --> 00:14:17,002 I feel your pain, library. (SNIFFS) What's that smell? 276 00:14:17,071 --> 00:14:19,704 -Um, books? -Weird. 277 00:14:19,773 --> 00:14:22,608 Are they all on paper like that? Uh, fire hazard. 278 00:14:22,677 --> 00:14:24,977 Focus, Confucius. We have to figure out 279 00:14:25,046 --> 00:14:26,746 how to take down Cleo. 280 00:14:26,815 --> 00:14:29,015 She won't stop until she destroys me. 281 00:14:29,084 --> 00:14:31,717 Why does Cleo hate you so much? What did you do to her? 282 00:14:31,786 --> 00:14:33,618 What? Me? I didn't do anything. 283 00:14:33,687 --> 00:14:36,288 She has been a mean girl ever since we were kids. 284 00:14:36,357 --> 00:14:38,423 It's actually just sad and basic. 285 00:14:38,492 --> 00:14:41,560 Yeah, but isn't it kind of basic of you to call her basic? 286 00:14:41,629 --> 00:14:45,431 Hey, I was frozen for 20 years. I just started using that word. 287 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:49,335 Let me enjoy it. Now, help me take that basic bitch down. 288 00:14:49,404 --> 00:14:52,304 You're the clone of Confucius, think of something wise. 289 00:14:52,373 --> 00:14:54,273 Oh, I'm not wise like my clone father. 290 00:14:54,342 --> 00:14:57,109 But I will say, maybe it's time to disrupt the negativity cycle 291 00:14:57,178 --> 00:14:59,578 with Cleo, we'll just kill her with kindness. 292 00:14:59,647 --> 00:15:02,880 You're right. We should kill her. 293 00:15:02,949 --> 00:15:07,186 Ah! Joan. I, er, uh, have been looking all over for you. 294 00:15:07,255 --> 00:15:09,556 Thank God, I found you totally alone 295 00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:11,056 in an empty library. 296 00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:14,193 -Seriously? -JFK! Thank God, you're free. 297 00:15:14,262 --> 00:15:19,231 Yeah, we're free to take you to our hella hot queen, Cleo. 298 00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:23,302 No, I'm taking Joan to our hello hot queen, Cleo. 299 00:15:23,371 --> 00:15:28,307 JFK! Abe! (SCREAMS) Stop! I'm trying to help you. 300 00:15:28,376 --> 00:15:29,809 I won't let them take you. 301 00:15:29,878 --> 00:15:32,411 -(TIRES SQUEAL) -Wow, they're strong. 302 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,646 And then she told me to pick a color for my toes, 303 00:15:34,715 --> 00:15:37,149 and I was just like, "Uh, duh, as if." 304 00:15:37,218 --> 00:15:41,120 I'm just doing a clear coat, you stupid manicurist. 305 00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:42,321 You are the most beautiful 306 00:15:42,390 --> 00:15:44,522 and fascinating person I've ever met. 307 00:15:44,591 --> 00:15:46,725 -Tell us again. -Of course. 308 00:15:46,794 --> 00:15:49,861 So anyway, I'd already picked this slammin' neutral. 309 00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:54,032 We, er, uh, come bearing a gift, Your Majesty. 310 00:15:54,101 --> 00:15:57,203 Well, if it isn't Joan of Barf. 311 00:15:57,272 --> 00:16:00,209 I bet you hate me too, right? You're like, that guy sucks. 312 00:16:02,443 --> 00:16:03,941 That gives me an idea. 313 00:16:04,010 --> 00:16:06,846 Maybe you can sneak up on her and steal the crown. 314 00:16:06,915 --> 00:16:08,546 You're basically invisible. 315 00:16:08,615 --> 00:16:11,684 That's uh, extremely hurtful, but yeah, I'll try. 316 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:15,220 (HUMS) So Joan, any last words? 317 00:16:15,289 --> 00:16:20,359 Uh, yes. Actually, yes. I have so many words. 318 00:16:20,428 --> 00:16:21,726 Gosh, where to begin? 319 00:16:21,795 --> 00:16:24,730 (INHALES) I guess I'll list them, alphabetically. 320 00:16:24,799 --> 00:16:26,699 Um, aardvark. That's double A. 321 00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:31,871 All right. Answer. Ask. 322 00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:33,739 -Ass. -(GASPS) 323 00:16:33,808 --> 00:16:34,906 (THUDS) 324 00:16:34,975 --> 00:16:38,077 Eyes on me, Cleopatra. You don't have to do this. 325 00:16:38,146 --> 00:16:40,780 No, no, you can be good and make better choices. Yes. 326 00:16:40,849 --> 00:16:42,681 I always try to take the high road. 327 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:46,251 Well, technically you started the rumor about Cleo's lattes 328 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,788 that made everyone vote for you instead of her. 329 00:16:48,857 --> 00:16:50,823 -What? -Now you hear him? 330 00:16:50,892 --> 00:16:52,328 Grab the crown, Confucius. 331 00:16:53,427 --> 00:16:55,727 -(GROANS) -You started that rumor? 332 00:16:55,796 --> 00:16:58,064 -Ow! My ribs. -Why would people listen to you 333 00:16:58,133 --> 00:17:01,433 with your poetry, and politics, and caring about stuff? 334 00:17:01,502 --> 00:17:03,668 People never used to like that junk? 335 00:17:03,737 --> 00:17:06,038 Well, they do now. Give me the crown. 336 00:17:06,107 --> 00:17:08,407 You didn't want it. You don't get to have it back. 337 00:17:08,476 --> 00:17:10,442 Especially after you started that pumpkin rumor 338 00:17:10,511 --> 00:17:12,277 so people would throw pumpkins in my face. 339 00:17:12,346 --> 00:17:14,880 (HESITATES) No, that's not how it happened at all. 340 00:17:14,949 --> 00:17:16,681 (VOICE SHAKING) I'm a good person. 341 00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:19,484 -No, you're not. -(GROANS) Little tight. 342 00:17:19,553 --> 00:17:22,221 And now, you're gonna have to suffer as you watch 343 00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,389 everyone around you turn into the thing 344 00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:27,063 you hate the most. Me! 345 00:17:31,232 --> 00:17:36,472 -No. Not Confucius. -Yes! I feel seen. 346 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:41,543 It's gonna be homecoming forever. 347 00:17:45,479 --> 00:17:47,046 ♪ ("THE INSTRUCTIONAL BOOGIE" PLAYING) ♪ 348 00:17:47,115 --> 00:17:49,681 ♪ Now hop to the left and stomp eight times ♪ 349 00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:52,750 No surprise. Cleo has some slammin' moves. 350 00:17:52,819 --> 00:17:55,957 She's no poser when it comes to dancing, Cinnamon. 351 00:17:57,425 --> 00:18:00,159 Looks like the robot has to rescue the exiled queen 352 00:18:00,228 --> 00:18:05,097 in order to save the school. If I had a nickel. 353 00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:09,205 ♪ ("THE INSTRUCTIONAL BOOGIE" PLAYING IN DISTANCE) ♪ 354 00:18:11,406 --> 00:18:13,572 ♪ Now, file your taxes It's almost April ♪ 355 00:18:13,641 --> 00:18:15,135 -♪ Keep those receipts ♪ -No. 356 00:18:15,204 --> 00:18:17,646 ♪ How many dependents? How many dependents? ♪ 357 00:18:19,146 --> 00:18:23,182 ♪ Two dependents, two dependents Claim those dependents ♪ 358 00:18:23,251 --> 00:18:27,987 Joan, looks like you're a little tied up. (CHUCKLES) 359 00:18:28,056 --> 00:18:30,655 -No time for jokes. -No. Don't help me. 360 00:18:30,724 --> 00:18:33,491 I'm a horrible person. Confucius was right. 361 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,695 I've been just as bad to Cleo as she is to me. 362 00:18:36,764 --> 00:18:38,363 I deserved my punishment of listening 363 00:18:38,432 --> 00:18:40,932 to "The Instructional Boogie" on an endless loop. 364 00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:44,970 (SIGHS) The irony is, I actually kind of like this song. 365 00:18:45,039 --> 00:18:46,872 I just didn't want to admit it. 366 00:18:46,941 --> 00:18:49,774 Admitting your truth is the first step. 367 00:18:49,843 --> 00:18:52,039 It did feel kind of good to say it out loud. 368 00:18:52,108 --> 00:18:56,315 Now, embrace it. Embrace your truth. 369 00:18:56,384 --> 00:18:57,783 ♪ Are you chained to a post? ♪ 370 00:18:57,852 --> 00:19:00,919 I am chained to a post. 371 00:19:00,988 --> 00:19:02,924 ♪ Just twist your wrist Till you shimmy on out ♪ 372 00:19:04,725 --> 00:19:07,193 Just twist my wrist till I shimmy on out. 373 00:19:07,262 --> 00:19:10,262 Whoa! My truth is setting me free. 374 00:19:10,331 --> 00:19:14,701 Now, maybe it can repair your relationship with Cleo. 375 00:19:14,770 --> 00:19:15,934 You're right. 376 00:19:16,003 --> 00:19:18,903 I have to bare my soul to her, no matter how scary that is. 377 00:19:18,972 --> 00:19:23,745 Because with truth on my side, I can do anything. I can fly! 378 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,372 (GROANS) 379 00:19:25,441 --> 00:19:29,682 You can't fly, but you have the power to change your story 380 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:33,218 with Cleo. (SCREAMS) 381 00:19:33,287 --> 00:19:36,188 Don't look at me, I oiled myself. 382 00:19:36,257 --> 00:19:39,592 -Just go to the dance. -Thanks, Mr. B. 383 00:19:39,661 --> 00:19:41,193 ♪ (SONG CONTINUES) ♪ 384 00:19:41,262 --> 00:19:43,295 ♪ Now clap your hands Eleven minus six ♪ 385 00:19:43,364 --> 00:19:46,732 Joan, I banished you to the Football Field Realm. 386 00:19:46,801 --> 00:19:50,069 Back to the grass with your flat ass. Get her! 387 00:19:50,138 --> 00:19:51,570 You'll never get past 388 00:19:51,639 --> 00:19:53,671 my choreographed attackers, Joanie. 389 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:57,542 You can't fight someone who is also getting down 390 00:19:57,611 --> 00:19:59,348 to "The Instructional Boogie." 391 00:20:00,481 --> 00:20:03,315 We can't stop her as she moving the same way as us. 392 00:20:03,384 --> 00:20:05,383 But you hate "The Instructional Boogie." 393 00:20:05,452 --> 00:20:08,955 Actually, I don't. It's kind of grown on me. 394 00:20:09,024 --> 00:20:10,789 ♪ Now hop three times And touch the ground ♪ 395 00:20:10,858 --> 00:20:12,757 ♪ Now drive the car Drive the car ♪ 396 00:20:12,826 --> 00:20:14,492 ♪ Now stop the car Stop the car ♪ 397 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:16,495 ♪ 'Cause you're at a store Now you're grabbing food ♪ 398 00:20:16,564 --> 00:20:18,564 ♪ Now you go back home Now go back home ♪ 399 00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:20,193 ♪ Now you heat Two tablespoons Canola oil ♪ 400 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,068 ♪ In a deep skillet Over medium heat ♪ 401 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,801 ♪ Add chicken breasts and cook ♪ 402 00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:25,771 ♪ About 20 minutes Till the juice runs clear ♪ 403 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:26,939 ♪ Remove from the skillet ♪ 404 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,075 ♪ Now drain and cool Now drain and cool ♪ 405 00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:31,411 I think she's making chicken posole. 406 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,178 ♪ (SONG STOPS) ♪ 407 00:20:33,247 --> 00:20:34,683 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 408 00:20:36,484 --> 00:20:39,021 Eat pumpkin spice latte! 409 00:20:42,290 --> 00:20:45,161 I don't hate pumpkin spice lattes. 410 00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:47,629 (GROANS) 411 00:20:49,864 --> 00:20:52,297 And I don't hate homecoming. 412 00:20:52,366 --> 00:20:56,269 And I don't hate you! 413 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,174 Ew. (GASPS) 414 00:21:05,614 --> 00:21:07,941 Stop! That's my crown. 415 00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:11,350 Well, I thought we could split! 416 00:21:11,419 --> 00:21:13,952 -(CROWD GASPS) -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) 417 00:21:14,021 --> 00:21:18,190 -No. I need my butt implants. -No, you don't, Cleo. 418 00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:20,326 People like you just the way you are. 419 00:21:20,395 --> 00:21:21,860 -Kill Cleo. -You suck. 420 00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:24,129 -STUDENT: You gave me bangs. -She does know I exist, though. 421 00:21:24,198 --> 00:21:26,065 -(CROWD YELLING) -She made me wear a crop top. 422 00:21:26,134 --> 00:21:29,338 No one should have to see my bare, long torso. 423 00:21:31,539 --> 00:21:34,039 Hang on, hold on. This isn't all on Cleo. 424 00:21:34,108 --> 00:21:36,174 I did the wrong thing when I told the lie 425 00:21:36,243 --> 00:21:38,477 about the pumpkin spice lattes. 426 00:21:38,546 --> 00:21:40,880 Those lattes were sourced ethically. 427 00:21:40,949 --> 00:21:42,147 (ALL GASP) 428 00:21:42,216 --> 00:21:44,786 Um, yeah, they totally were. 429 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:48,054 What I'm saying is, Cleo may have been 430 00:21:48,123 --> 00:21:51,023 the ultimate mean girl, but I was the basic mean girl 431 00:21:51,092 --> 00:21:53,159 who started it and I'm sorry. 432 00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:56,289 Just like, I'm sure Cleo's sorry for everything that she did. 433 00:21:56,358 --> 00:22:00,432 I am? (GROANS, GULPS) I'm like, really sorry 434 00:22:00,501 --> 00:22:03,668 that I used the homecoming crown for evil instead of good, 435 00:22:03,737 --> 00:22:05,371 since it's literally the most important thing to me. 436 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:06,405 Mm-hmm. 437 00:22:06,474 --> 00:22:09,141 I hope you'll all consider voting for me next year. 438 00:22:09,210 --> 00:22:11,243 -We will. -Everybody makes mistakes. 439 00:22:11,312 --> 00:22:12,878 -Homecoming's weird. -STUDENT: Huh. We'll see. 440 00:22:12,947 --> 00:22:14,650 -♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(DOOR CLOSING) 441 00:22:15,483 --> 00:22:16,581 Thanks for doing that. 442 00:22:16,650 --> 00:22:19,485 All I did was tell the truth. And to be honest, 443 00:22:19,554 --> 00:22:22,421 I'm really glad we aren't enemies anymore. 444 00:22:22,490 --> 00:22:25,061 Oh, my God, Joan. Obsessed with me much? 445 00:22:27,128 --> 00:22:30,229 Oh, I'm so glad to have you back, Joanie. 446 00:22:30,298 --> 00:22:33,365 Oh, I missed your reasonably-sized boobies. 447 00:22:33,434 --> 00:22:37,073 And I missed your unreasonably-sized booty. 448 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,111 -Is my hair freaking you out? -Don't call attention to it. 449 00:22:44,678 --> 00:22:48,213 (GROANS) What happened? What year is it? 450 00:22:48,282 --> 00:22:49,949 My God, look at this place. 451 00:22:50,018 --> 00:22:52,050 The Board is not going to be happy. 452 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,821 You're gonna blame it all on me? What do I do? What do I do? 453 00:22:55,890 --> 00:22:57,556 (SHUSHES) Listen. 454 00:22:57,625 --> 00:23:00,129 ♪ Just leave the scene Like it's not your problem ♪ 455 00:23:01,329 --> 00:23:03,699 ♪ Then end the show With a real slow pull-back ♪ 456 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:07,132 ♪ End the show With a real slow pull-back ♪ 457 00:23:07,201 --> 00:23:09,071 ♪ Roll the credits Roll the credits ♪ 458 00:23:10,571 --> 00:23:12,941 ♪ See all the people Who are working in the program ♪ 459 00:23:14,442 --> 00:23:16,312 ♪ Lots of people Lots of people ♪ 460 00:23:18,145 --> 00:23:20,116 ♪ Lots of people Doing various jobs ♪ 461 00:23:20,977 --> 00:23:22,815 ♪ Various jobs ♪ 462 00:23:22,884 --> 00:23:24,616 ♪ Various jobs By lots of people ♪ 463 00:23:24,685 --> 00:23:27,186 ♪ Lots of people Lots of people ♪ 464 00:23:27,255 --> 00:23:29,191 ♪ Now end the song 'Cause it's stuck in your head ♪ 465 00:23:29,991 --> 00:23:31,160 ♪ Stuck in your head ♪ 466 00:23:32,693 --> 00:23:36,594 ♪ Maybe forever, maybe forever Maybe forever, maybe forever ♪ 467 00:23:36,663 --> 00:23:39,392 ♪ Ever, ever, ever Ever, ever, ever ♪ 468 00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:42,499 ♪ Ever, ever, ever Ever, ever, ever ♪ 469 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:00,517 ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪