1 00:00:04,086 --> 00:00:06,214 -♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -NARRATOR: Tonight, on a very special 2 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:09,259 season finale episode of Clone High. 3 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:11,344 It's an epic tale of good and evil. 4 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,971 Will love conquer all? 5 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,432 Or will the forces of darkness win the day? 6 00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,142 The future lies in the balance... 7 00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:18,810 -(SCREAMING) -...as the clones embark 8 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:22,647 on an unforgettable journey into a realm we call 9 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,315 summer vacation. 10 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:27,444 That's right, it's a hot clone summer, y'all! 11 00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:30,196 May God have mercy on their souls. 12 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,366 (SHOUTING) Scudworth! 13 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,035 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 14 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,162 -♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -PRINCIPAL SCUDWORTH: Since the beginnith of time, 15 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,122 history has captured the hopes and dreams 16 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,874 of hopers and dreamers everywhere. 17 00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:43,501 But what if you could do more than just read about history 18 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,045 -in an old smelly book? -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 19 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,547 Gee, mister. That sounds swell! 20 00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:50,008 Why do these old books smell so bad? 21 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,510 SCUDWORTH: All right. (CHUCKLES) That's not your line. 22 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,262 You can't just say stuff you're thinking. 23 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,639 Okay, well, it is swell, Billy! 24 00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,768 Cloney Island is the place where history comes alive. 25 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,394 ♪ (CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 26 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,271 Dammit, Mr. B, keep up! 27 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,438 Where else can you take selfies 28 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,024 with groundbreaking historical figures 29 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,817 in their naturally glass-enclosed habitats? 30 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:08,985 -(CROWD GASPS) -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 31 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,029 You'll want to ride Lincoln's Log Flume 32 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,031 -fourscore times. -(BOTH CHEER) 33 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,032 (LOUD THUD) 34 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,408 Go "underground" on Harriet Tubman's 35 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,119 tub-bumping Bumper Tubs. 36 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,372 Shouldn't it be an underground railroad ride? 37 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,539 SCUDWORTH: Maybe when you get your own theme park, Sarah! 38 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:26,211 Experience a brush with death on Frida Kahlo's Brow-Boggan. 39 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,712 RIDER: (SCREAMS) Oh, my God! 40 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,048 So it isn't even an art-themed ride? 41 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,467 SCUDWORTH: (SIGHS) We have to recast this girl. 42 00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:35,428 And don't forget to obtain the wisdom of Confucius 43 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,348 with the purchase of these tasteful souvenirs. 44 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:41,059 And every night, we'll have a fireworks display. 45 00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:44,020 It'll be hot, smoky history blown in your face! 46 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,189 -(CROWD CHEERING) -So come to Cloney Island, 47 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,566 where history will be blown in your face! 48 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,734 MR. BUTLERTON: Why does everything 49 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,277 have to be blown in your face? 50 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,862 SCUDWORTH: I'm sorry, were you up writing 51 00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:53,905 until 2:00 a.m. in the morning? 52 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:56,157 How cool is that? Yeah? 53 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,576 Wait, Cloney Island is real? 54 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,537 And you're all going to be working there. 55 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,039 It's the summer job of a lifetime! 56 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,000 That's why you put us on a submarine? 57 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,251 (DOLPHIN CHIRPS) 58 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,961 And the submarine is the school? 59 00:02:09,044 --> 00:02:10,005 Random. 60 00:02:10,045 --> 00:02:12,007 I assure you, it isn't random in the least. 61 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,176 In fact, it's the whole reason I put you on this Earth. 62 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,929 A chance to step into the shoes of your clone parents 63 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,557 and fulfill your destinies as theme park attractions! 64 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:21,558 -What? No, thank you. -What? 65 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:22,809 -Still sounds very random. -Is he serious? 66 00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,978 -(CLONES WHIMPER) -(GASPS) We've arrived! 67 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,521 (SONAR BEEPING) 68 00:02:26,603 --> 00:02:28,732 SCUDWORTH: Prepare to be impressed 69 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:29,858 in a moment... 70 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,736 when we get to the surface. 71 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,529 Mr. B, maybe pick it up a little. 72 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,656 -(CLONES SCREAM) -SCUDWORTH: Jesus, Mr. B! 73 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,116 MR. B: Oopsie doodle. 74 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:41,786 Welcome to Cloney Island. 75 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,788 ♪ (EPIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 76 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,503 (SCREAMS) 77 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,880 (SCREAMS) 78 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,506 ♪ ("CLONE HIGH THEME SONG" BY ABANDONED POOLS PLAYING) ♪ 79 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,966 ♪ Way, way back in the 1980s ♪ 80 00:02:55,008 --> 00:03:00,680 ♪ Secret government employees Dug up famous guys and ladies ♪ 81 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:03,558 ♪ And made amusing Genetic copies ♪ 82 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:06,478 ♪ Then the clones As teens were frozen ♪ 83 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,481 ♪ Thawed out decades later Why? ♪ 84 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:12,400 ♪ Back for reasons They're not disclosin' ♪ 85 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:18,615 ♪ Giving high school Another try ♪ 86 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:24,496 ♪ It's time To watch Clone High ♪ 87 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:30,710 ♪ Energetic and engaging Clone High ♪ 88 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:37,216 ♪ Our angst is entertaining Clone High ♪ 89 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,637 ♪ (THEME SONG CONCLUDES) ♪ 90 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:42,514 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 91 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:43,682 -ABE LINCOLN: Whoa! -CONFUCIUS: Whoa-ho. 92 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,350 -(JOAN OF ARC GASPS) -SCUDWORTH: Soak it all in, clones! 93 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,768 -(CROWD CHEERS) -SCUDWORTH: Your fun island 94 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,728 working vacation is about to begin. 95 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:50,855 -Now, any softball questions? -(LAUGHS) 96 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,399 HARRIET TUBMAN: Do our foster parents know about this? 97 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,775 JOAN: How much are we getting paid? 98 00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:55,360 -JFK: Are the dorms co-ed? -CONFUCIUS: What's the Wi-Fi password? 99 00:03:55,442 --> 00:03:56,611 ABE: The other clones are already here? 100 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,071 The answer to all of that is yes! 101 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,365 -The Wi-Fi password is "yes"? -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 102 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,700 -(CELL PHONE DINGS) -It is now. 103 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,868 Frida, if we're gonna be here all summer, 104 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,870 there's a good chance I'm gonna meet someone. 105 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,039 I just wanna be upfront with you about that. 106 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,417 Hey, I get it. I mean, I'll be out there, too. 107 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,211 So let me know if I should keep my stuff on the low. 108 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,547 Oh, my God, please. I'm fine with it. 109 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,423 Probably more fine with it than you. 110 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,882 (CHUCKLES) Well, I doubt it, 111 00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:22,345 -'cause I'm pretty fine with it. -Well, it's not a competition. 112 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:26,016 More fine with it than you! 113 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:29,019 I was supposed to intern with Shonda Rhimes this summer. 114 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,438 This completely derails my 50-year plan. 115 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,314 We're on a tropical island! 116 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,358 You gotta relax and live in the moment. 117 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,402 I'm not like you. I can't just sit back 118 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:38,903 and take whatever life gives me. 119 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,280 Well, when you look like this, 120 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,532 life usually gives you pretty good stuff. 121 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,618 FYI, there's nothing less attractive than a shallow himbo 122 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,037 -bragging about how hot-- -(JFK SNORING) 123 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,913 And he's sleeping. 124 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,875 Babe, if people are expecting me to be like the real Confucius, 125 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,418 they're gonna be so let down. 126 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,962 I have abs, but I'm not wise at all. 127 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,756 Hey, it's just a summer job. 128 00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,382 Summer jobs are supposed to be fun. 129 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:00,675 Back me up here, Abe. 130 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,385 Oh, yeah. Joan and I have been paired up 131 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,762 for tons of summer jobs. 132 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,597 Camp counselor, ice cream scooper... 133 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,849 Lifeguard, and, of course... 134 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,768 BOTH: Slaughterhouse cleaners! 135 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,603 (BOTH LAUGH) 136 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:14,439 I have no idea why we're laughing at that. (SIGHS) 137 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:15,732 Yeah, okay. 138 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,818 Babe, even if the job sucks, which it won't, 139 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,154 we get to spend the summer together. 140 00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:22,906 -That's true. -SCUDWORTH: You wish. 141 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,450 Each of you will be stationed in theme zones corresponding 142 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,535 to your clone parents. Abe and Joan, 143 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,245 -you're in Leader Lagoon. -(BOTH GASP) 144 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,289 Cleo and JFK, Historical Hotties. 145 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,457 -Mm-hmm. -Makes sense. 146 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,459 Frida and Harriet, Iconoclast Island. 147 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,586 And last but not least, Confucius, 148 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,213 way up on Sage Summit. 149 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,340 (BIRD SQUAWKS) 150 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,175 I have to go up there all by myself? 151 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,552 SCUDWORTH: Worse! You get Nostradamus. 152 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,887 Yeah, I knew that already. 153 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:48,056 I could've said it, but I didn't feel like it. 154 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,266 So, you'll be hanging out with Abe, 155 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,852 while I'm literally gonna be on top of that mountain? 156 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,230 Don't worry, I promise I won't get her too wet. 157 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,107 -What? -On my flume ride! 158 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,692 So glad I brought my ponchos. 159 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,485 They're not the waterproof kind, but still. 160 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,487 Well, we'll be working during the day anyway, 161 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:05,198 what matters is that we get to hang out at night. 162 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,159 And during breaks, we can talk on the phone. 163 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,120 Right. Hey, where is my phone? 164 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,621 SCUDWORTH: Mr. B took all of your phones 165 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,415 when you were watching the promo video. 166 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,208 They're not historically accurate. 167 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,668 -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 168 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,294 -How could this get worse? -Without my phone, I'll starve! 169 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,422 Now, if anyone needs to have a huge conversation 170 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:21,965 with a friend or lover, 171 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,758 you have 30 seconds before you're launched 172 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,802 into your respective lands where you will remain 173 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,721 -for the duration of your stay. -This isn't right! 174 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:29,848 -Did we sign anything? -I need a lawyer. 175 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,392 It's time to become who you were always meant to be. 176 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,102 Time to embrace your destiny. 177 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,729 -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) -He's not actually gonna launch us. 178 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,355 -Oh, he's launching us. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 179 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,065 -(BUZZER SOUNDS) -(FRIDA KAHLO SCREAMS) 180 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:43,236 -(CLONES SCREAM) -♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 181 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,946 -Joan! -Confucius! 182 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,157 -Frida! -Cleo! 183 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:52,537 -(CLONES SCREAM, GRUNT) -JFK: What's happening? 184 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,874 This isn't really just a summer job, is it? 185 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:56,875 Of course it is. 186 00:06:56,957 --> 00:06:59,544 It just happens to be an endless summer. 187 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,048 -(LAUGHS MANIACALLY) -(LAUGHS) I get it, Wesley. 188 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,550 ♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 189 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:06,885 CANDIDE SAMPSON: That idiot! 190 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,387 I cannot believe Scudworth stole the entire school 191 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,514 and opened up his own damn theme park! 192 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,059 And he actually thinks he can get away with it? 193 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,560 -(HISSES) -True. 194 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,730 Blowing up the island would solve the problem instantly. 195 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,399 But if we take out Scudworth and all the clones, 196 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:24,402 there's no hope of rebooting Operation Spread Eagle. 197 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,528 (HISSES) 198 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,697 I know the button for the ultimate secret super-weapon 199 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,574 is right there, but I'm saying, 200 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,201 the clones still have value. 201 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,536 And Joan happens to be my foster daughter. 202 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,789 -(ALARM BLARING) -(GASPS, LAUGHS) 203 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,041 You naughty little shit. 204 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:41,211 Looks like it's time to cancel Clone High... 205 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,672 again. 206 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:46,800 -♪ (EPIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 207 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:51,638 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) For France, I will fight! I am Joan of Arc! 208 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:57,143 And I am a strong, God-hearing, independent woman! 209 00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:02,273 -(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) -(CELL PHONE RINGS) 210 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,650 -Uh, hello? -CANDIDE: Joan? 211 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,778 Are you serious? Did you put a phone in my arm? 212 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,822 I wanted to keep tabs on you, 213 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,782 so I simply slipped you a sleeping pill, 214 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,617 cut open a thin layer of your forearm skin 215 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,828 using my meat slicer, implanted the phone 216 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,329 with a tracking device, sewed you back up-- 217 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,373 Okay, I get it, you're a monster! 218 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,166 Hey, I'm not the one who locked you 219 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,043 in a demented little zoo for clones. 220 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:25,338 Cloney Island is a theme park. And I'm just working here. 221 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,798 It's called a summer job. 222 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,426 CANDIDE: Oh, you poor thing. It's not a job. 223 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,136 Scudworth wants to keep you all there forever. 224 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,179 I'm sorry, what? 225 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:36,307 Phone in the arm doesn't seem so bad now, does it? 226 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,768 Scudworth never cared about you clones. 227 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,270 But I'm going to teach him a lesson. 228 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:43,188 I sent a missile to destroy the island. 229 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,483 -What? -Hey, I'm trying to save your life. 230 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,861 Get to Scudworth's submarine and get outta there. 231 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,488 You've got two to eight hours before the missile arrives. 232 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,198 You're welcome! 233 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,701 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 234 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:57,454 Everyone! We have to go! A missile is coming! 235 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,372 -(AUDIENCE GASPS) -GUEST 1: She's being anachronistic! 236 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,499 We just suspended our disbelief! 237 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,293 -Now we gotta start all over! -(AUDIENCE BOOS) 238 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,003 GUEST 2: I jet-skied to an island for this? 239 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,130 -GUEST 3: Go back to the fire! -Assholes. 240 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,175 I'm Honest Abe, and I cannot tell a lie. 241 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:13,345 You must keep your arms inside the log at all times. 242 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:16,222 "Cannot tell a lie" isn't an Abe Lincoln quote. 243 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,766 It's Washington's. 244 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:20,143 (LAUGHS) You seem fun! 245 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,436 -(GRUNTS) -(SCREAMS) 246 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:22,520 (PANTS) 247 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,523 -Joan! What are you doing here? -Candide sent a missile 248 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,985 to blow up the island! We only have two to eight hours! 249 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,405 Oh my God, that's so vague yet specific and terrifying! 250 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,199 Come on, we gotta get the others! 251 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,368 Wait. I know a faster way. 252 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,244 -(BOTH CHEER) -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 253 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,287 (BOTH LAUGH) 254 00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:41,998 Time for us to split! (GRUNTS) 255 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:51,174 (BOTH CHEER AND LAUGH) 256 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,842 Wahoo! 257 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,427 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -(BOTH LAUGHING) 258 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,429 CONFUCIUS: Oh, no! Joan and Abe are down there 259 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,139 having the best time together. 260 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,225 She clearly doesn't miss me at all! 261 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,310 Am I losing her, Nostradamus? 262 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:03,937 ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 263 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,855 Do not despair. 264 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:09,275 You will find yourself with whomever is right for you. 265 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,403 Can you just tell me if it's Joan? 266 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:15,073 I will tell you that the answers are all inside of you. 267 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,408 That sounds like bullshit. 268 00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:17,659 Dude, I'm not a wizard. 269 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,912 I just make broad predictions that'll eventually come true. 270 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,330 But I'll tell you what is bullshit, 271 00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,916 you've had those binoculars for like ten straight minutes! 272 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,043 They're not yours! They're to share! 273 00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:29,295 Oh, my god. 274 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,424 Oh, yeah! I see my destiny down at Historical Hotties. 275 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,260 Oh, my gosh! There's some real talent there! (GROANS) 276 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,053 -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(HOOTING AND HOLLERING) 277 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,346 GUEST 1: I'm looking! 278 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,265 -GUEST 2:Whoa. -GUEST 3: Look at that! 279 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,435 GUEST 4: Shake that tush, James Dean! 280 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:46,062 James Dean? I'm JFK. 281 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,856 GUEST 4: Ooh, look at his butt tensing up. 282 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,649 GUEST 5: I think you made him angry! 283 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,610 Cleo, do you ever feel objectified? 284 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,237 (SIGHS) I used to. 285 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,448 Now I'm surrounded by so many hot people, 286 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,241 I barely feel objectified at all. 287 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,326 I need to be the hottest person in the room. 288 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,204 I think I wanna be more than just hot. 289 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,248 -BOTH: This sucks. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 290 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,791 Everyone, we gotta go! 291 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,792 -Oh, thank god! -Thank god! 292 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,336 Wait. Did someone already tell you 293 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,795 -about the missile? -BOTH: Missile? 294 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,839 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 295 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,841 -(BIRDS SQUAWK) -(MISSILE ROARS) 296 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,218 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 297 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,595 SCUDWORTH: Look at that, Mr. B. 298 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:21,806 All my little creations, living out my childhood dreams 299 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,476 of fulfilling their destinies as theme park attractions. 300 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,102 It's exactly as I imagined, 301 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,146 and it all came off without a hitch. 302 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,647 -(ALARM BLARING) -(YELPS) 303 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,817 -It's a hitch. -What? 304 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,487 ABE: (OVER PA) Uh-oh, looks like my log is jammed. 305 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,822 But we'll be squeezing out shortly. 306 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,867 The clones have abandoned their posts! 307 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,660 We'll need to teach them a lesson. 308 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,996 Fill churros with horse tranquilizers, 309 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,956 tranq the clones, chain them to their posts, 310 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:49,668 and make sure they never leave their lands again! 311 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,920 Bingo! Once this is resolved, 312 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,506 we'll have a grand total of zero problems. 313 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,341 -♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(SLURPS) 314 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,346 -(THUD) -(ROARS) 315 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,974 People, there's a missile approaching the island! 316 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,227 -We have to evacuate. -Wait your turn! 317 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,354 -No cuts! -I'm not cutting in line! 318 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,314 -Said the cutter! -Push on, cutter! 319 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,816 HARRIET: Candide's trying to kill us? 320 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:13,942 FRIDA: Don't like that. 321 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,777 Come on, let's grab Confucius and get to the sub. 322 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:16,861 We don't have much time. 323 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,488 You haven't gotten Confucius yet? 324 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,156 -Interesting. -What does that mean? 325 00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:23,201 Well, er, uh, you'd think he'd be the first one you rescued, 326 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:24,869 you know, since, uh, you're dating. 327 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,538 Abe was closest to me. 328 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,997 In what way? 329 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,207 Geographically! 330 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,543 Come on, Joan, there have been sparks between you and Abe 331 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:32,669 for weeks. 332 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,504 (CHUCKLES) Okay, that's ridiculous. 333 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,172 (SCREAMS) 334 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:39,134 -Joan! No! -(SCREAMS) 335 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,511 ♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 336 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,476 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -Yeah. No sparks at all. 337 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,228 (GROANS) We're wasting time! 338 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,897 This missile could be here in as little as 30 minutes! 339 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,316 Or as much as six hours and 30 minutes. 340 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,110 Fingers crossed for that one, right? 341 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,361 Looking at this map of the park, 342 00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,904 the fastest way to get to Confucius 343 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:02,198 is cutting through Villain Village. 344 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,493 Bleacher Creatures area. Your old pals, Joan. 345 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:08,288 You all get to safety. I'll navigate the creatures. 346 00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,915 No way you're going alone. I'm coming with you. 347 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,168 -CLONES: Ooh! -You like her! 348 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:16,296 -Seriously? -What is wrong with you people? 349 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:17,964 Well, I'm off to the sub. 350 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,507 I need to protect this pretty face, 351 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,843 boobs, butt, and feet for those who have a fetish. 352 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,928 I'm going with Abe and Joan. 353 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,388 I need to show the world 354 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,766 I'm more than just a pretty face, boobs, butt, 355 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,267 and feet for those who have a fetish. 356 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,560 -Seriously? -♪ (PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 357 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,771 I'm not running from a missile crisis. 358 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,898 -I'm John F. friggin' Kennedy! -♪ (MUSIC PAUSES) ♪ 359 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,941 John F. Kennedy famously backed down from that. 360 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,610 -Well, not this time! -♪ (PATRIOTIC MUSIC RESUMES) ♪ 361 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,738 Someone wise once told me you can't just sit back 362 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,448 -and take what life gives you. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 363 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,117 That was me. Like, a few hours ago. 364 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:50,038 Huh. Guess you're right. I'm, er, uh, doing your thing. 365 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,706 You just said you were doing my thing 366 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,625 and it wasn't a sex joke. 367 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,169 Yeah, I'm not exactly sure what's happening. 368 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,046 Don't worry. I can help. 369 00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,631 Yes, please. 370 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,550 Wait, so I'm the only one going to the sub? 371 00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:06,596 I won't let you go alone, Cle. Unless you wanna be alone? 372 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:09,432 No, come with me! You think I wanna die on this island? 373 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,185 Not that you're all gonna die. 374 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,145 You'll be fine. You're gonna do great. 375 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,690 (SCREAMS) 376 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:20,068 Oh my god, this is easily the best part of the island. 377 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,987 Bad guys make the best theme park rides. 378 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,240 And we don't enforce height restrictions. 379 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,158 (SCREAMS) 380 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,994 Churros! Get your churros! 381 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,455 Thirteen dollars apiece! 382 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:33,957 Thirteen dollars? 383 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,418 I know. I don't get why we have to also gouge 384 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:37,627 the people while we're trying-- 385 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,004 SCUDWORTH: Shut up, Mr. B! 386 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,922 Can't I poison them and turn a profit? 387 00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:44,342 Everybody focus! Candide sent a missile. 388 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,011 We need to get off this island. 389 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:49,639 Oh, no. Scudworth, we have a serious problem. 390 00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,683 SCUDWORTH: Until you've sold the churros, I don't wanna talk to you. 391 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,018 But-- But this is important. 392 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,185 SCUDWORTH: No "buts," Mr. Butlertron! 393 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,021 -Please. -SCUDWORTH: Or should I say, Mr. Lertron. 394 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,355 -Just let me-- -SCUDWORTH: Because no "buts." 395 00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,024 -But I-- -SCUDWORTH: I don't wanna hear the word "but" 396 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,358 -come out of your mouth! -Can I just-- 397 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,985 SCUDWORTH: Or the word "mouth" come out of your butt! 398 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,028 Fine, however-- 399 00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,738 "However" is just a fancy but! 400 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,990 -Nevertheless, I-- -SCUDWORTH: No buts, no fancy buts, 401 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:08,950 -or any other manner of but! -Although-- 402 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,536 SCUDWORTH: That's it! You've lost your but privileges forever 403 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,663 because you just couldn't leave the buts alone. 404 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:16,166 -(RADIO STATIC) -(GRUMBLES) 405 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,335 What an idiot. 406 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:21,838 Come on, let's go! Go! Go! Topher, we gotta move! 407 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,214 So we can go back to high school 408 00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:26,092 and be stuck under the bleachers again? No, thank you. 409 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:27,135 -Mm-hmm. -Yeah. 410 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,261 -That's right. -We love this place. 411 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,055 I don't have to be "Topher Bus" anymore. 412 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,431 I get to be Christopher Columbus. 413 00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:32,682 And you know what? Cheese! 414 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,100 It makes some people happy. 415 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:37,312 Okay, I'm gonna let you all sort this out while I get Confucius. 416 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,855 Do you want me to come with you? 417 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,858 Not this time, Abe. I need to do this one alone. 418 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:45,070 Okay. I'll save this victory churro for when we're safe. 419 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,447 (CHEWING, GRUNTS) 420 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,407 (GUESTS GRUNT) 421 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,493 (CHEWING, GRUNTS) 422 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:52,660 (GRUNTS) 423 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,413 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 424 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,915 (SQUAWKS) 425 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,628 (SLURPING) 426 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,922 None of the clones are eating my churros! 427 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:06,549 I could kill those insufferable little bastards! 428 00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,093 Sir, forget the churros! 429 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:11,388 Candide sent a missile to destroy the island! 430 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,597 Gasp! 431 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,641 She wants to kill my beautiful little angels? 432 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,102 What kind of an asshole would wish them harm? 433 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,478 (GRUMBLES) 434 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,438 Here on my console is a heat-seeking 435 00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:21,731 weapons intercept device, 436 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,566 right next to my full cup of coffee. 437 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:26,236 It was specifically designed to neutralize a missile attack. 438 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:28,655 To deploy it, I'll simply reach over the coffee cup 439 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:31,241 -and press the-- (SCREAMS) Shit! -Shit, man! 440 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:33,159 -Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. -Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 441 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,203 -(ALARM BLARING) -I just need to do it manually. 442 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,163 Shit! Where are all these coffees coming from? 443 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,040 They must be from Glen the janitor! 444 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:44,045 Oh, yes, sir. Definitely Glen. 445 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,588 -♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(BIRD SQUAWKS) 446 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:50,635 -(CROWD SCREAMING) -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 447 00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:53,930 Hey, is there a missile coming to blow up the island 448 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,849 -or is that a hoax? -What? 449 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,809 Wait, wait, wait, why you asking him for? 450 00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:01,021 Confucius can't predict the future, that's my thing. 451 00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,648 I'm just going by what it says on this mug. 452 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,067 I paid $40 for this. 453 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,944 Sorry, you should get your money back. 454 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,362 I don't know anything. 455 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,031 I'm just your classic teenager in a racist costume. 456 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,074 I mean, he doesn't even know 457 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,534 if his girlfriend still likes him. 458 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:18,538 Meanwhile, I'm Nostra-freaking-damus over here! 459 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,457 Well, is there a missile coming? 460 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,625 A missile? Missile coming. Right. 461 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,002 -Is there a missile coming? -(PANTS) 462 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,878 Everybody move! There's a missile coming! 463 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:26,963 -(CROWD GASPS) -There's a missile! 464 00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:28,173 I was saying that! 465 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,591 -I said there's a missile. -(CROWD SCREAMING) 466 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:33,094 I predicted it. Oh my God! There's a missile? 467 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,013 Joan! You came for me. 468 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,431 What's that supposed to mean? 469 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:37,849 I've just been so worried about losing you, 470 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,351 I haven't been able to think straight. 471 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,437 But the fact that you're here, now, means everything. 472 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,147 Of course I was gonna come for you. 473 00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:45,690 Now let's get off this island! 474 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,692 Right. We have to find the others! 475 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,819 It's okay, I already got everybody. 476 00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:52,530 Oh. Okay. Uh, like everybody? 477 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,491 Yeah, they were, you know... 478 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,577 they were just on the way. I... I saved the best for last. 479 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:01,831 (SMOOCHING) 480 00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:04,209 Oh! You got a little racism on your face. 481 00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,169 (ROCKET FIZZLES) 482 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,712 Dang it! I didn't mean to set off 483 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,506 those pathetic little bottle rockets. 484 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,717 Impact in T-minus 15 minutes. 485 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,762 Quick thought, maybe we, um, leave. 486 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,430 And let the clones die out here? 487 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,891 Weren't you always planning for them to die here? 488 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,643 People change, okay? 489 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,395 My life is meaningless without them. 490 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,605 There's so much more to teach them. To show them. 491 00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:28,024 I mean, they haven't even seen the epic fireworks display 492 00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,693 we prepared for tonight. (GASPS) 493 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,278 That's it! If I redirect our entire arsenal of fireworks, 494 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,197 maybe I can intercept that missile 495 00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:36,324 and save Cloney Island. 496 00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:39,202 Looks like the lightshow's starting a little early tonight. 497 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,038 (BUZZES) 498 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,915 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 499 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,000 You made it! 500 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,418 Do we have everyone? 501 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,379 If you mean a bunch of tourists and clones we don't know? Yes. 502 00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,589 I don't care how long the boat trip is, 503 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,008 I'm not learning their names. 504 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:55,427 So much for meeting someone new this summer, huh? 505 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,303 I know enough people. 506 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,389 How'd you get the Bleacher Creatures back? 507 00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:00,890 Ah, we told them escaping death 508 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,809 is the kind of thing that can bond people. 509 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,269 And that actually worked? 510 00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:07,272 Well, it certainly made us look at each other differently. 511 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,482 ♪ (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 512 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,611 I'll be honest, I never thought I'd see you again. 513 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,488 Guess you could say we had a... 514 00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:18,324 -Change of heart. (LAUGH) -...change of heart. (LAUGH) 515 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,785 -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -(BOTH LAUGH, SIGH) 516 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:21,953 Inside joke. 517 00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:24,581 Time to shove off, y'all! Let's get this sub in the tub! 518 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,166 -Wait, where's Abe? -♪ (TENSE MUSIC RESUMES) ♪ 519 00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:27,542 We thought he was with you. 520 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,627 There he is! He's asleep on the beach! 521 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,129 (CHUCKLES) And it looks like he's sporting 522 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,589 some major morning wood. 523 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:33,923 What is he doing? 524 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,425 He probably ate a churro. 525 00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:37,844 Van Gogh took one bite and he was out cold. 526 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,220 Oh, my God. Abe! 527 00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,638 -Uh-oh. -It's here! 528 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:43,808 I have to save him. 529 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:44,976 -But, Joan... -Listen. 530 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,478 Scudworth was telling the truth. 531 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,646 We are fulfilling our destiny here. 532 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,066 But our destiny wasn't written in a history book. 533 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,692 We can write it ourselves. 534 00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:56,696 And in my story, right now, Joan of Arc saves Abe Lincoln. 535 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,698 Joan! 536 00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:01,659 Abe! Wake up! Wake up, Abe! Please! 537 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,536 -What do we do? -We can't leave them! 538 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,663 The missile is literally right there! 539 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,624 The fireworks are coming to intercept it! 540 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:12,837 -CLEOPATRA: Go! -(ALL SCREAMING) 541 00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:15,924 Can fireworks stop a missile? 542 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,677 If they do, is Joan gonna leave me for Abe? 543 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,637 Oh god, am I rooting for the missile? 544 00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:24,265 -Confucius! Come on! -Oh, no! My 40-dollar mug! 545 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,393 I just want some clarity here! Huh? 546 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:28,978 -(LOUD THUD) -(CONFUCIUS GRUNTS) 547 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:31,981 CONFUCIUS: To see the future, look to the past. 548 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:33,149 ♪ (SOFT GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 549 00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,068 Grab my hand, Joan. I'll save you! 550 00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:47,330 JOAN: You're the most loveable guy I've ever met. 551 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,209 CONFUCIUS: You're the coolest indie-girl I've ever seen. 552 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:54,671 (BOTH LAUGHING) 553 00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:56,548 -God, I love an abrupt ending. -Me, too! 554 00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:05,515 HARRIET: (MUFFLED) Confucius! Confucius! 555 00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:07,642 Oh my God, I can see it now. 556 00:21:07,726 --> 00:21:09,102 What are you talking about? 557 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:12,147 I'm staying. It's all gonna be fine! You'll see! 558 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:14,441 -Confucius! -♪ ("START OVER" BY ABANDONED POOLS PLAYING) ♪ 559 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:17,569 CANDIDE: It's all gonna be fine. You'll see. 560 00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:20,697 For me. Just me. 561 00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:22,741 And possibly Joan. Who knows? 562 00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:23,950 Time to go! 563 00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:28,872 ♪ Can we start over? ♪ 564 00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:30,540 Abe! Abe! 565 00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:34,085 ♪ Can we start over? ♪ 566 00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:37,797 ♪ It's over... ♪ 567 00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:38,840 Abe! 568 00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:41,051 (GASPS) The missile! The sub! 569 00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:43,428 Joan, you shouldn't have come back for me. 570 00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,013 How could I leave without you? 571 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,144 Oh, God, if this is it, I have to tell you something 572 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:53,271 I've been dying to say for so long. 573 00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:58,151 Abe, please don't. Not until I say what I have to say. 574 00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:00,695 Abe... 575 00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:04,282 I love... 576 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:05,450 (CONFUCIUS SIGHS) 577 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:07,744 ♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪ 578 00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:15,794 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 579 00:23:02,716 --> 00:23:04,050 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪