1
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,802
<i>It's four days
before Christmas,</i>

2
00:01:04,324 --> 00:01:05,543
<i>and it's 70 degrees.</i>

3
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,806
<i>Only in East L.A.</i>

4
00:01:09,155 --> 00:01:12,550
<i>East L.A. may be thousands
of miles from the North Pole,</i>

5
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,856
<i>but it doesn't lack
Christmas spirit.</i>

6
00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:29,741
-  Take care, son!
- Always, Mom.

7
00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:32,091
Baby! Your lunch!

8
00:01:34,615 --> 00:01:37,357
- Thank you.
- You got it. Good morning.

9
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,185
- Good morning!
- Good night.

10
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,407
Dirty woman!

11
00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:46,497
I'm not dirty,
I'm clean. I spread love around.

12
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:51,589
<i>♪ I'm dreaming ♪</i>

13
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:54,635
<i>♪ Of a brown Christmas ♪</i>

14
00:01:54,809 --> 00:02:00,163
<i>♪ Just like the ones
in Mexico ♪</i>

15
00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:07,387
<i>♪ Just like every wetback
in town ♪</i>

16
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,173
<i>♪ I miss the cockfight season ♪</i>

17
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:12,479
<i>In the North Pole
they have little helpers</i>

18
00:02:12,653 --> 00:02:14,481
<i>that do all the hard work.</i>

19
00:02:14,655 --> 00:02:17,397
<i>In Los Angeles,
they're called Mexicans.</i>

20
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,704
<i>There's many stories
about Christmas,</i>

21
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:23,186
<i>but here is a tale that has
never been told before,</i>

22
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,449
<i>and, perhaps,
will never be forgotten.</i>

23
00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:28,365
<i>♪ With</i> borrachos <i>drinking ♪</i>

24
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:32,543
<i>♪ And police lights blinking ♪</i>

25
00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:36,373
<i>♪ And you don't have
no ID to show ♪</i>

26
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,299
Daddy's little girl is coming
home for Christmas!

27
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:04,270
Big thanks from all of us
here at Area 51 Studios.

28
00:03:04,444 --> 00:03:08,100
We hope to be bringing
<i>Alien Zombie Wars</i>
to a galaxy near you.

29
00:03:08,274 --> 00:03:10,102
<i>Leif, what can I say?</i>

30
00:03:10,276 --> 00:03:11,973
<i>You've exceeded every one
of our expectations.</i>

31
00:03:12,147 --> 00:03:13,845
<i>Yes.</i>

32
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:17,196
Not only will this satisfy
every youngster's innate ADHD...

33
00:03:17,370 --> 00:03:19,764
- <i>...it's gonna bring
people together</i>

34
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:22,680
<i>through some internalized
rage tendencies,</i>

35
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,725
<i>some fantasies to fulfill
right there.</i>

36
00:03:24,899 --> 00:03:27,075
<i>Bravo!</i>

37
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:30,731
<i>Hey... Leif?
You still with us?</i>

38
00:03:30,905 --> 00:03:33,430
Oh, I'm sorry,
Toby, I, uh...

39
00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:34,996
I gotta go. Um...

40
00:03:35,170 --> 00:03:37,216
<i>I'm afraid it's an emergency.</i>

41
00:03:37,390 --> 00:03:39,218
We were just about
to discuss the contract--

42
00:03:58,411 --> 00:04:00,413
- To the woman of my dreams.

43
00:04:00,587 --> 00:04:02,023
Mm-hmm.

44
00:04:02,197 --> 00:04:03,851
I would like to spend

45
00:04:04,025 --> 00:04:05,940
my hard-earned airline miles
and Christmas bonus,

46
00:04:06,114 --> 00:04:08,160
thank you very much,
<i>Alien Zombie Wars,</i>

47
00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:10,858
to fly her
to the land of dreams.

48
00:04:11,032 --> 00:04:14,079
For this holiday season,
we're going to the spectacular,

49
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,647
- romantic paradise...

50
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:19,214
- ...of... oh!

51
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,565
- Um... it's okay.

52
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:24,481
It-it's just my dad.
He just...

53
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,396
Somehow always has
a sixth sense

54
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:27,788
to call at exactly
the wrong moment.

55
00:04:27,962 --> 00:04:30,313
- Okay...
- You were saying?

56
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,495
For the best girlfriend
a geek like me
could ask for...

57
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:45,023
you have won
an all expenses paid trip

58
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:48,113
- down to...

59
00:04:50,463 --> 00:04:52,422
- <i>You hear that?</i>

60
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,598
<i>That's you when you
were five years old</i>

61
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,251
<i>at the St. Francis
beauty pageant</i>

62
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,732
<i>before you became
a big shot in New York.</i>

63
00:04:58,906 --> 00:05:01,474
<i>Hey, so guess what?</i>

64
00:05:01,648 --> 00:05:04,303
<i>You're gonna have a chance
to sing your favorite
Christmas song again,</i>

65
00:05:04,477 --> 00:05:06,305
<i>because I am having
my first annual</i>

66
00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:09,569
<i>Mexican Hispanic American
Chicano Christmas</i>

67
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,354
<i>and we're so happy
that you're coming home</i>

68
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:15,227
<i>to spend Christmas</i>
con la familia!

69
00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:16,576
- Do you wanna get that?
- Um...

70
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,710
Yeah. Mm. I'm sorry.

71
00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:22,016
Um... I'm just gonna talk
to him real quick, okay?

72
00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:23,366
It'll take, like,
two seconds.

73
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,715
- Okay.
- Yeah? Okay?

74
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:25,933
- I'll be back.
- <i>Love you.</i>

75
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,506
What-- who said I was coming
home for the holidays?

76
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,074
And, Dad,
I'm an assistant editor.

77
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:40,165
I-I've been working
at the magazine
for barely two months.

78
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:41,296
<i>♪ Feliz Navidad ♪</i>

79
00:05:43,298 --> 00:05:45,779
<i>♪ Feliz Navidad ♪</i>

80
00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:48,042
Okay, Dad? Dad?

81
00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:50,523
Christmas is in like...

82
00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:54,701
Okay, you can't just spring
a 3,000 mile trip on me
at the last minute.

83
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:56,355
I have
to talk to my--

84
00:05:58,226 --> 00:05:59,837
My boss.

85
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:02,317
<i>No, no, no, here's
the beautiful thing.</i>

86
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,494
- <i>I already called your boss
and I told her...</i>
- You did what?!

87
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,670
<i>...about all the things
you used to do
when you were little,</i>

88
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:09,063
<i>how we knew
you were gonna be big
in fashion,</i>

89
00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:11,283
<i>and you were dressing up</i>
los perritos <i>and having
a fashion show</i>

90
00:06:11,457 --> 00:06:13,241
<i>and you were nine years old,
and I told her that, you know,</i>

91
00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:15,069
<i>you wanted to come over here
to be with your family</i>

92
00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:17,985
<i>and she said that they are
gonna be closed</i>

93
00:06:18,159 --> 00:06:19,857
<i>between Christmas and New
Year's, and she didn't mind
if you left a day early!</i>

94
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,033
- <i>♪ Feliz Navidad ♪</i>
-  Okay.

95
00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,339
Um, Dad, I'm gonna have
to call you back, okay?

96
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,603
<i>And here's your room.</i>
<i>It hasn't changed.</i>

97
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,648
<i>Oh, he said hey!</i>
<i>Doggie, say Merry Christmas!</i>

98
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,737
- Bye! Mm-hmm.

99
00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:32,347
Mm-hmm. I'm hanging up
now, okay?

100
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:33,871
- I'm hanging up.
- <i>I can't hear you. Huh?</i>

101
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,003
- Bye-bye.
- <i>Hurry up--</i>

102
00:06:37,178 --> 00:06:38,397
Oh, no.

103
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:48,451
Can you believe him?
Did you hear that?

104
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,540
He wants me to go spend
the holidays with them.

105
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:52,411
- He--
- I know.
It's...

106
00:06:52,585 --> 00:06:54,761
Well, do you wanna hear
something amazing?

107
00:06:54,935 --> 00:06:57,460
That's exactly where I was
planning on taking us
for the holidays.

108
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,855
Wha--

109
00:07:02,029 --> 00:07:04,467
To spend them
with my family
in East L.A.?

110
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,078
That's your idea
of the "ultimate
romantic paradise"?

111
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:09,950
No, well, I know
how important family
is to you,

112
00:07:10,124 --> 00:07:12,475
so actually
what better gift

113
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,738
to a girl who lives
so far from home?

114
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,914
- You're kidding, right?

115
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:19,046
- I'm totally joking, yeah.
- Oh, okay, I was gonna say.

116
00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,048
- 'Cause that's crazy.
- I'm actually...

117
00:07:21,222 --> 00:07:22,920
I'm not joking. Look,
I got the tickets.

118
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,704
- What? No, you didn't.
- Yeah.

119
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,011
- No, you didn't.
- Yeah, I did.

120
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:32,756
Um... I mean...

121
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:35,541
I mean,
I do miss them.

122
00:07:35,715 --> 00:07:37,325
But, babe,
I'm not gonna wish

123
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,371
spending Christmas
with my family upon anyone.

124
00:07:39,545 --> 00:07:41,939
Look, I just wanna
make you happy. You know?

125
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:44,681
Would spending the holidays
with your family make you happy?

126
00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:46,421
Yeah.

127
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,298
- We're doing this?
- Yes.

128
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,039
-  Are you sure?
- Yes!

129
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:57,911
- A hundred percent?
Positive?
- Yeah.

130
00:07:58,085 --> 00:08:00,479
I mean, call your dad back
and tell him you got
a new boyfriend or...

131
00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:03,134
- Um...
- It's like he doesn't know
I exist, so...

132
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,440
It's okay, don't worry.

133
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:09,793
- My Dad loves surprises.

134
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,667
I hate surprises.

135
00:08:14,841 --> 00:08:16,060
Take this check,

136
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:19,019
take that gift,
give it to your mom.

137
00:08:19,193 --> 00:08:20,543
Heck!
You don't speak!

138
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:21,718
Damn!

139
00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,906
<i>Merry Christmas!</i>
Feliz Navidad!

140
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,691
<i>Happy 25th.</i>

141
00:08:38,865 --> 00:08:40,563
<i>No matter how you say it,</i>

142
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,695
<i>you can't help but to say it
with a smile,</i>

143
00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:45,002
<i>but this year,</i>

144
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,874
<i>Christmas will come
in a different
shape and form,</i>

145
00:08:48,048 --> 00:08:50,660
<i>one that I could've
never imagined,</i>

146
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:55,012
<i>one that would change
my father's unwilling heart forever.</i>

147
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:58,493
-  Mr. Sanchez,
my house is your house.

148
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,671
No, love.
My father's house
is definitely his house.

149
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:02,759
Huh?

150
00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:13,334
Am I the first White guy to set
foot in this neighborhood or--

151
00:09:13,508 --> 00:09:16,120
No. No, no, no.
Mm-mm.

152
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,731
Most of the police
are White.

153
00:09:18,905 --> 00:09:20,994
I mean, I'm sure
your dad's gonna love

154
00:09:21,168 --> 00:09:22,822
you bringing home
a gringo boyfriend.

155
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:26,478
Aww,
my beautiful <i>gringuito!</i>

156
00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:30,700
My father is an equal
opportunity boyfriend hater, okay?

157
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,310
'Kay.

158
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:52,330
Hey, look,
it's mini-Mario Lopez.

159
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,810
Hey, what's up, <i>ese?</i>

160
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:56,116
What's in the box, eh?
I'm hungry.

161
00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:59,076
Me, too! Hey,
throw me a bear claw!

162
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:02,253
Hey, fool,
you're on a diet, remember?

163
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,255
No carbs, <i>ese.</i>

164
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:06,170
That's right, <i>ese.</i> You know
how much I love <i>conchitas.</i>

165
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:07,954
- Hey, what color, fool?
- Don't tell nobody, homie,

166
00:10:08,128 --> 00:10:09,695
but the pink one, <i>ese.</i>

167
00:10:09,869 --> 00:10:11,305
Ah, that's what up, fool,
that's what's up!

168
00:10:11,479 --> 00:10:12,524
- Want some right now?
- Let's-let's go.

169
00:10:15,788 --> 00:10:17,181
Ooh.

170
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:19,923
Oh, my God!
Good morning, miss!

171
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,186
Javier de la Torre,
at your service.

172
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,622
Of course you are.

173
00:10:23,796 --> 00:10:25,668
You must be Carmencita.

174
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,321
Dummy, your mommy!

175
00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:29,106
Hey, don't be mean.

176
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,238
- Come in!
- Thank you!

177
00:10:31,412 --> 00:10:32,544
Who is it?!

178
00:10:32,718 --> 00:10:34,459
Home delivery services.

179
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:37,244
How are my favorite ladies
on the block doing today?

180
00:10:37,418 --> 00:10:39,638
Very, very well!
- Beautiful.

181
00:10:39,812 --> 00:10:42,075
I just stopped by to bring
you ladies some <i>pan dulce.</i>

182
00:10:42,249 --> 00:10:43,947
Thought it would be good
with your <i>cafecito.</i>

183
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,426
Who cries
when given free bread?

184
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:48,691
- You brought my favorites!
- Yes, of course!

185
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:49,735
Yummy!

186
00:10:49,909 --> 00:10:51,389
Would you like a coffee?

187
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:54,000
I can't stay, I'm sorry.

188
00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:56,307
I'm running late
for an appointment.
Big remodel in Brentwood.

189
00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:58,178
Well, we're open 24/7.

190
00:10:58,352 --> 00:11:00,441
You are shameless!

191
00:11:00,615 --> 00:11:03,053
-  I gotta run.
Gabbie, see you soon!
- Okay, son.

192
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:04,837
By the way,

193
00:11:05,011 --> 00:11:06,970
- you ladies
should be arrested.
- Why?

194
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:10,451
I heard it was against the law
to look so beautiful.

195
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,891
Oh, come on!

196
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,936
This smartass.

197
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,503
I dated a guy
like him once.

198
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,027
You dated someone
that looks like everyone.

199
00:11:21,201 --> 00:11:23,029
Mm-hmm.

200
00:11:23,203 --> 00:11:24,291
Jeez , I told this guy
to call me...

201
00:11:24,465 --> 00:11:25,771
and he text me back.

202
00:11:25,945 --> 00:11:28,034
And why don't you call him?

203
00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:30,515
<i>Porque</i> he should be
calling me.

204
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:33,910
- The lawyer from last night?
- No, no, no. That was Hector.

205
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:37,696
This is Fernando,
the computer programmer.

206
00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:39,524
You need a computer
just to keep track.

207
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,265
- Okay, so, but-- <i>pero...</i>
- That's not a bad idea.

208
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:43,746
We miss you.
So, when are you arriving?

209
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,269
- Mm-hmm.

210
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:47,227
Very well.

211
00:11:47,401 --> 00:11:50,535
Okay? Okay, hurry. Okay.
You guys, guess what?

212
00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:51,884
<i>¿Qué?</i>

213
00:11:52,058 --> 00:11:54,626
<i>Mi Claudita</i>
is on her way!

214
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,108
What a beautiful surprise!

215
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,591
Check it out.
My <i>suegro's</i> here.

216
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:04,810
That's my <i>suegro,</i> homie.

217
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:07,595
These losers...

218
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:09,162
Hey, when did you guys
get out?

219
00:12:09,336 --> 00:12:10,903
Hey, <i>vato,</i> what's up?

220
00:12:11,077 --> 00:12:13,297
What's that?
You got the cramps?

221
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:15,778
Hey, do what my mother-in-law
does. She lights a candle
at night.

222
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,605
What'd you say, <i>ese?</i>

223
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,042
Hey, don't be disrespecting
the homeboy, <i>ese.</i>

224
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,739
You guys disrespect
this neighborhood

225
00:12:20,913 --> 00:12:21,871
every time you stand out here.
Don't you guys work?

226
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,394
Y-y-y-yeah,

227
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:25,222
and-and Casper's working
on his probation,

228
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,833
I'm working
on a new s-s-song,

229
00:12:28,007 --> 00:12:29,792
and Lucky's working
on a tasty,

230
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,750
- delicious
mal-mal-malt liquor.
- That's right.

231
00:12:31,924 --> 00:12:34,318
That's what you guys need,
more shit to make you stupid.

232
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,059
Hey, Bennie,
word on the street is,

233
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,887
your daughter's coming home.

234
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,889
Yeah, she's
real fine, <i>ese.</i>

235
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,542
Don't talk about my daughter,
man. Don't look at her.

236
00:12:41,716 --> 00:12:43,196
Hey, <i>cálmate,</i> homes.

237
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:46,243
I bet you
she's all <i>telenovela</i> style.

238
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,984
Them homegirls be hotter
than two lizards

239
00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,551
sleeping on a rock
in the middle of the desert.

240
00:12:50,725 --> 00:12:52,379
The trash is Tuesday.
Let me go inside

241
00:12:52,553 --> 00:12:54,947
and I'll get you some aspirin
for your cramps, eh?

242
00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:57,210
What the hell
does that mean, fool?

243
00:12:57,384 --> 00:12:59,169
I'm--

244
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:00,257
<i>You saw me arriving running</i>

245
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,825
<i>And so maybe I'll go</i>

246
00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:04,739
<i>You should know the stories.</i>

247
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,263
Quick, <i>vato.</i>

248
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:07,873
What's three plus four
minus one,

249
00:13:08,047 --> 00:13:10,180
divided by shut
the fudge up, homie?

250
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:12,399
"Fudge"?
"Shut the fudge up"?

251
00:13:12,573 --> 00:13:14,532
Hey, homes,
what the hell was that?

252
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:17,970
I told you, <i>ese,</i>
I quit bad words
cold turkey.

253
00:13:18,144 --> 00:13:20,146
And now, I'm
a born-again <i>cholo,</i>

254
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,757
so shut the fudge up, homie.

255
00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:25,499
- I don't get it.
- But how can you
be born again?

256
00:13:25,673 --> 00:13:27,893
Ow, my head hurts.

257
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,638
- Whoa.

258
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,161
Save that pose for later.

259
00:13:35,335 --> 00:13:37,163
Ay, Bennie,
you broke my Zen, <i>hombre.</i>

260
00:13:37,337 --> 00:13:39,470
I think you should be
more concerned
with breaking your back.

261
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,341
It's yoga, Bennie.
You don't break your back.

262
00:13:41,515 --> 00:13:44,649
You should try it, so maybe
you're more flexible in life.

263
00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:46,564
No, no, no.
Where I come from,

264
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,000
if they catch you in a position
like that, you'll get beat up.

265
00:13:48,174 --> 00:13:50,002
Where do you want me
to put the presents?

266
00:13:50,176 --> 00:13:51,134
Where they always
go, love, under the tree.

267
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:52,483
Ah.

268
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,966
Ay. Ay.

269
00:13:57,140 --> 00:14:00,491
<i>Gordo,</i> we need
to get a new tree.

270
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,319
This one is
all raggedy and sparse!

271
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:03,886
It doesn't even
feel like Christmas,

272
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,322
it doesn't smell
like a real tree.

273
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:08,107
Oh. <i>Espera.</i>
Look at this.

274
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,761
Uh, "Wild forest pine.

275
00:14:09,935 --> 00:14:11,676
Bring the essence
of the forest into your home."

276
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,678
-  Ay, Benicio.

277
00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:17,421
Don't waste it. We need it
when you go <i>hacer caquita.</i>

278
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:20,163
Okay, well then,
you know what? I'm gonna get
a real Christmas tree.

279
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:23,775
A traditional Hispanic,
Mexican-American
Christmas tree.

280
00:14:23,949 --> 00:14:26,473
- Okay, and how's that?
- Because Claudia's coming home,

281
00:14:26,647 --> 00:14:28,475
and as a family
we're gonna have

282
00:14:28,649 --> 00:14:30,521
a traditional Hispanic Mexican
American Christmas, so...

283
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,697
and it's gonna be the best
Christmas ever, you know.

284
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,351
Uh-huh. And when did you
think of this

285
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:35,743
and why am I
the last one to know?

286
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:39,138
Because you always say no.

287
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,010
- What's going on, Bennie?
- <i>Nada.</i>

288
00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:42,359
Tell me.

289
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,056
What's going on here?

290
00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:45,884
Is something going on?

291
00:14:46,058 --> 00:14:47,320
Tell me.

292
00:14:47,494 --> 00:14:48,669
What you thinking?

293
00:14:48,843 --> 00:14:49,975
Okay, let's see, baby.

294
00:14:51,411 --> 00:14:53,718
<i>Mi gordito,</i>
you really miss your baby.

295
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:55,676
Is that what this
is all about, eh?

296
00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,417
This is where she belongs.

297
00:14:57,591 --> 00:14:59,071
- Where?
- She's so far away,
you know,

298
00:14:59,245 --> 00:15:00,812
I mean,
what's wrong with L.A.?

299
00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:02,379
We could see her
on the weekends.

300
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:03,902
Remember when we used
to go out and--

301
00:15:04,076 --> 00:15:05,730
Wait a second, Benito!

302
00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:07,471
Not always about you.

303
00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,473
She landed a big job,

304
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,649
she's got her new gig
in the fancy magazine,
what she wanted.

305
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:12,867
Can we be happy for her?

306
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,695
Can we or no?

307
00:15:14,869 --> 00:15:16,262
- Yeah, no, I'm happy for her.
- You know, yeah.

308
00:15:16,436 --> 00:15:18,221
I just wanna show her
that I can plan the best

309
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,571
and most <i>Feliz Navidad</i>
that she's ever had.

310
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:24,749
Okay, well that's good.
Oh, you drive me crazy.

311
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:26,272
- Oh!
- You drive me crazy!

312
00:15:26,446 --> 00:15:29,841
You are
so stubborn! Come here!

313
00:15:30,015 --> 00:15:32,017
Ay, I love you,
my yoga mama. <i>Mira!</i>

314
00:15:32,191 --> 00:15:33,976
- Hey, watch this.
I'm gonna do it, too.
- <i>¿Qué?</i>

315
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,369
Okay! Let's see.
Show me your skills.

316
00:15:36,543 --> 00:15:38,197
Now stretch your legs.
Jeez! Wait!

317
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,199
- Cramp, cramp!
- You have to warm up!

318
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,809
- Where does it hurt?
- My butt!

319
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:45,204
- Where?
- No, my butt!

320
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:48,077
- Here? Where?
- There, there...

321
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:13,624
Hey, <i>vatos!</i>

322
00:16:15,321 --> 00:16:17,062
What's that fool doing?

323
00:16:17,236 --> 00:16:18,846
He's bringing
Christmas to the streets, eh?

324
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,500
Hey, Bennie,
what are you doing, fool?

325
00:16:20,674 --> 00:16:23,764
- Christmas ain't over yet, eh?
- Merry Christmas.

326
00:16:23,938 --> 00:16:25,810
Don't smoke it.

327
00:16:27,594 --> 00:16:29,205
Hey, follow me, homie.

328
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,076
Hey, go check it out, homies.
I got your back.

329
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,384
Damn, that tree
is jacked up.

330
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,734
Hey, that's what's up, <i>ese.</i>
I could take this

331
00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:39,215
to those disadvantaged,
underprivileged kids, homie.

332
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:42,218
You mean
h-h-h-homeless kids
or orphans?

333
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:44,872
My kids, <i>vato.</i>
I'm taking this home.

334
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:47,266
<i>Vámonos,</i> fool,
before he changes
his mind, <i>ese.</i>

335
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,616
Hey, have you ever
smoked a-a Christmas tree
before?

336
00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:51,836
- No, man.
- Well, you see,
it was flying reindeers

337
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:53,838
and dancing gingerbreads, homie.

338
00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,535
Forget your kids.
Let's smoke that, homie.

339
00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:57,972
Let's go, homie. Come on.
Watch out, homie.

340
00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,844
Let's go, fool.

341
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:01,498
Hey, don't be starting
to smoke without me, <i>ese.</i>

342
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,326
Who got the lighter?
Who got the lighter?

343
00:17:04,979 --> 00:17:07,417
<i>Mini,</i> we already got
a <i>mini vato.</i>

344
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,431
Come on, <i>m'hijo.</i>

345
00:17:23,824 --> 00:17:26,175
Try to stay sober
this year. <i>Vamos.</i>

346
00:17:30,222 --> 00:17:31,571
- <i>Feliz Navidad!</i>

347
00:17:31,745 --> 00:17:33,225
- Ah, you're home!

348
00:17:33,399 --> 00:17:35,227
Oh my God, you're home.
I missed you so much.

349
00:17:35,401 --> 00:17:37,360
- I know! I missed you so much!
- Oh, my God. Look at you.

350
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,840
- I have something to tell you.
- I have something
to tell you, too.

351
00:17:40,014 --> 00:17:43,627
- Uh-huh?
- You're daddy's
little girl forever.

352
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,065
- I'm so glad you're home.
- No. Okay, Dad.

353
00:17:47,239 --> 00:17:49,328
You'll have to let go.
I can't breathe.

354
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,330
- Come on.
-  Okay.
I have a surprise for you.

355
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,419
Come back from New York,
you are
full of surprises!

356
00:17:53,593 --> 00:17:54,507
- Yeah!

357
00:17:54,681 --> 00:17:58,990
Mommy!

358
00:17:59,164 --> 00:18:02,080
How is my baby?!

359
00:18:04,604 --> 00:18:06,040
Wow! My baby so skinny!

360
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,694
Too much tofu in New York?

361
00:18:07,868 --> 00:18:09,479
Don't worry,
we are gonna enjoy

362
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,568
plenty of tacos, chilaquiles
and tortillas.

363
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,526
Um... ahem.

364
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:15,441
What's going on?

365
00:18:15,615 --> 00:18:17,922
Um, okay, uh...

366
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:21,491
Ahem, Mom, Dad, this is
my boyfriend, Leif.

367
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:23,754
Leif, Mom and Dad.

368
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:26,452
- Your boyfriend?
- Mm...

369
00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:28,541
<i>¿Un gringo?</i>

370
00:18:28,715 --> 00:18:31,065
Hey,
how are you, Sr. Sanchez?

371
00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:33,590
What did he say?

372
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,374
- It's--
- He meant to say hello.

373
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,159
No, no. That's fine,
I just wanna
hear it from him.

374
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,987
Mr. Sanchez,
it's a pleasure
to meet you.

375
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:45,079
Pleasure to make
your acquaintance.

376
00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:46,733
-  That's it!
- What did he say
his name was?

377
00:18:46,907 --> 00:18:48,213
- Leif. <i>Mucho gusto.</i>
- What's that mean?

378
00:18:48,387 --> 00:18:50,476
I'm Gabbie,
Claudita's mom.

379
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:52,435
Nice to meet you,
and this is Carmencita,
<i>y la abuela</i> Tita.

380
00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:55,002
-  Welcome, Leif!
- Thank you!

381
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:57,440
- Welcome to the family, <i>huerito.</i>
- Ay! Welcome to the family.

382
00:18:57,614 --> 00:19:00,312
Mr. Sanchez,
thank you so much.
I am so excited.

383
00:19:00,486 --> 00:19:02,053
I've never been
in a Mexican home before.

384
00:19:02,227 --> 00:19:04,098
- This is crazy!

385
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:07,928
A Mexican's home.

386
00:19:09,843 --> 00:19:12,585
"A Mexican home."
Okay. Okay.

387
00:19:12,759 --> 00:19:14,848
Family meeting
in the Mexican home right now!

388
00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:16,546
- Ooh!

389
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,982
I mean, "a Mexican home."

390
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,636
What did he say,
did you hear?

391
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:20,854
What does he think?
We sleep on <i>chile?</i>

392
00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:23,074
Darn it!

393
00:19:23,248 --> 00:19:24,380
-  That fool is mad-mad!
-  Last time
I saw him that mad

394
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:26,077
was when I took
his lawnmower, dog.

395
00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:27,905
Got the white boy
in the back.

396
00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:29,907
Look at him.
He's looking at us.

397
00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:31,474
Not even her type, dog.

398
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,956
Thought she was into <i>cholos.</i>

399
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:37,523
I don't like
the way that fool
looked at me, dog.

400
00:19:37,697 --> 00:19:39,960
So, you wanna go bang, <i>ese?</i>

401
00:19:40,134 --> 00:19:41,919
-  I'm ready, fool.
- Come on, man.
Let's go jump him in.

402
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,095
I'm serious.
Think he has money?

403
00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:56,934
Did you know about this?
Did you know?

404
00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:59,328
No, I didn't know anything.

405
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,025
We didn't know
anything! You kept
the secret very well!

406
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:02,766
- Since when?
-  Shh, he's gorgeous.

407
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,333
- You see?
- How come you didn't tell me?

408
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:05,943
I-- uh--

409
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:07,771
I wa... I wanted it
to be a surprise.

410
00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:10,252
Yeah, that wasn't a surprise.
That was an ambush.

411
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,645
You think we were surprised
when the Americans
went and invaded Mexico?

412
00:20:12,819 --> 00:20:14,256
And afterwards all the Mexicans
are hanging out,

413
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,605
<i>"Mira nomás,</i>
wow, what a surprise!"

414
00:20:17,302 --> 00:20:19,217
Benicio, please stop!

415
00:20:19,391 --> 00:20:21,219
- You're overreacting
like a little bit.
-  Don't worry.

416
00:20:21,393 --> 00:20:23,395
Bring it down a notch!
He's listening!

417
00:20:23,569 --> 00:20:24,918
Don't be rude to him.

418
00:20:25,092 --> 00:20:26,790
Hey, hey,
he was rude to me first.

419
00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:29,053
I wanted a Brown Christmas,
not a White Christmas.

420
00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,620
Okay? I wanted
a traditional Christmas,

421
00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:32,535
<i>con las abuelas,
los tíos, las tías,</i>

422
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:34,798
tamales, and all your cousins
playing in the street,

423
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:37,366
hurting themselves,
<i>así,</i> a Mexican Christmas.

424
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,933
How about you just--
you give him a chance

425
00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:42,501
before you start
judging him, okay?

426
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,851
Give me a chance.

427
00:20:45,025 --> 00:20:46,462
He is like a cannellini bean,
among the black beans.

428
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,420
What's <i>un</i> chance?
Is that his dad's name?

429
00:20:48,594 --> 00:20:50,204
Next thing you know,
we'll be carrying water
<i>como pendejos.</i>

430
00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:51,902
What time
does the movie start?

431
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:54,905
Jeez! What a temper!

432
00:20:58,996 --> 00:21:01,955
Hey, nothing
that a tequila
can't fix.

433
00:21:02,129 --> 00:21:03,827
- Leaf.
- It's Leif.

434
00:21:04,001 --> 00:21:06,656
Uh, yes, yeah, I know.
Make yourself at home, hmm?

435
00:21:09,354 --> 00:21:11,574
Mrs. Sanchez, I know
this is a surprise.

436
00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:14,011
- See, Mr. Sanchez,
he called Claudia...
- Yeah.

437
00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:16,056
...invited her home
for Christmas.

438
00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:17,536
- That's the only--
- Yeah. No, no, no,
don't worry.

439
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,321
You don't have
to explain yourself.

440
00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:20,974
The most important thing
is that you're both here.

441
00:21:21,148 --> 00:21:22,933
I just wanted
to surprise him.

442
00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:24,804
Well, you did surprise him,
<i>m'hijita,</i> you did.

443
00:21:24,978 --> 00:21:27,720
You even surprised
<i>la Tootsie aquí.</i>

444
00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:31,333
You even surprised me.
Why are you keeping secrets
like that, huh?

445
00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:33,160
- Baby, come on.
- Have a seat, Leaf.

446
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:34,858
- Uh, it's Leif.

447
00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:36,729
Yes, I know!
What an ugly name!

448
00:21:36,903 --> 00:21:38,427
-  Stop.
- <i>Gracias.</i>

449
00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:39,819
Have a seat.
What? It's true!

450
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,693
He's so sweet.

451
00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:46,086
- He looks like a good guy!
Right?
- Yes, I know.

452
00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:49,046
Okay. I have to have
a serious talk with Dad.

453
00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:50,961
And I have a date
with a <i>chela.</i>

454
00:21:51,135 --> 00:21:52,876
<i>Chela?</i>

455
00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:54,747
Uh, Coachella?

456
00:21:54,921 --> 00:21:57,315
Ah [coos]...

457
00:21:57,489 --> 00:21:59,317
A <i>chela.</i>

458
00:21:59,491 --> 00:22:01,058
What do you want to drink?
What do you want to drink, eh?

459
00:22:03,626 --> 00:22:05,497
What about a Mexican candy?

460
00:22:06,933 --> 00:22:08,195
<i>Gracias.</i>

461
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:10,589
Guys...
it's gonna be okay.

462
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,504
- Yeah.

463
00:22:13,853 --> 00:22:15,420
Hey, is that fool
checking me out or what?

464
00:22:15,594 --> 00:22:19,729
- What's up, <i>ese?</i> What's up?

465
00:22:31,828 --> 00:22:34,308
- Mm.

466
00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:36,354
Tito.

467
00:22:36,528 --> 00:22:38,356
I feel like I'm starting

468
00:22:38,530 --> 00:22:40,314
the next
Mexican American war here.

469
00:22:40,489 --> 00:22:42,621
I'm sorry, babe.

470
00:22:42,795 --> 00:22:44,449
I-- I'm sorry!

471
00:22:53,719 --> 00:22:56,418
- Oh.

472
00:22:59,725 --> 00:23:02,336
I'm surprised
my crib still isn't in here.

473
00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:04,121
You know, Claudia,

474
00:23:04,295 --> 00:23:05,775
if this is gonna be an issue
with your family,

475
00:23:05,949 --> 00:23:07,429
I feel like I should
probably just go.

476
00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:10,823
- What? No.
- Yeah.

477
00:23:10,997 --> 00:23:13,043
Come here. Come here.

478
00:23:15,262 --> 00:23:16,873
It's not my family.

479
00:23:18,352 --> 00:23:20,050
It's my father.

480
00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:24,620
He just needs
to get to know you

481
00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:27,013
in the same way
that I know you.

482
00:23:29,189 --> 00:23:30,800
I love you.

483
00:23:30,974 --> 00:23:32,105
- I love you, too.
-  <i>Ay, ay, ay!</i>

484
00:23:32,279 --> 00:23:33,280
Oh, my God!

485
00:23:37,328 --> 00:23:39,852
I think I strained--
I think I strained my back.

486
00:23:40,026 --> 00:23:43,290
Ah! I go get the Vicks.
It's good for broken backs.

487
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:45,945
Okay, you breathe...
<i>y ahí vas.</i>

488
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:47,556
You breathe...
<i>No, espérate.</i>

489
00:23:47,730 --> 00:23:49,166
- <i>Ay, ay, ay...</i>

490
00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:51,995
Wow,
what happened to you?!

491
00:23:52,169 --> 00:23:53,997
How did you get
tangled up like this?

492
00:23:54,171 --> 00:23:56,129
Don't be a jerk.
Don't film this.

493
00:23:56,303 --> 00:23:58,044
- Talk to the camera, sis!
- Stop, Carmen.

494
00:23:58,218 --> 00:23:59,959
Heal, heal,
little frog's tail!

495
00:24:00,133 --> 00:24:01,570
-  Is that better?
- No, no, no, no.

496
00:24:01,744 --> 00:24:03,876
You have
to breathe it in.

497
00:24:04,050 --> 00:24:07,010
- <i>A ver, a ver,</i> how about now?
- <i>Sí.</i> Uh-huh. It's not helping.

498
00:24:07,184 --> 00:24:08,794
Maybe the smell helps you.

499
00:24:08,968 --> 00:24:10,274
I have to check
the expiration date.

500
00:24:11,928 --> 00:24:13,799
Damn! Son of a gun!

501
00:24:13,973 --> 00:24:15,714
- Hey! <i>Mamá!</i> You okay? You okay?
- No, no, no. <i>Sí, sí.</i>

502
00:24:15,888 --> 00:24:18,064
What happened?!
Are you okay?!

503
00:24:18,238 --> 00:24:19,979
- Slow down. Okay, okay, okay.
-  It's nothing, baby.

504
00:24:20,153 --> 00:24:22,068
- How can I help you, Mom?
- It's nothing, baby.

505
00:24:22,242 --> 00:24:24,027
- Relax, slow down...
- Calm down, everyone!
I'm fine!

506
00:24:24,201 --> 00:24:25,550
Slow down...

507
00:24:25,724 --> 00:24:27,030
- Hey, just...
- Remember the yoga?

508
00:24:27,204 --> 00:24:28,988
- I do.
- Don't break--
don't, uh...

509
00:24:29,162 --> 00:24:30,424
- I know what I'm doing,
- Baby, be careful,
please. Okay?

510
00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:31,643
- Deep breaths, please.
- Okay. <i>Sí.</i>

511
00:24:31,817 --> 00:24:33,210
No, you're not
gonna crack me.

512
00:24:33,384 --> 00:24:34,864
I have kidney stone.
Don't crack me.

513
00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:37,040
- I got this.
- Be careful, baby, please,

514
00:24:37,214 --> 00:24:38,650
- We're gonna move you
this way, okay?

515
00:24:38,824 --> 00:24:40,391
- Okay. <i>A ver.</i>
- Let's go slowly.

516
00:24:40,565 --> 00:24:41,871
- Baby, be careful.
- And she's doing so good.

517
00:24:42,045 --> 00:24:43,960
- <i>A ver... ay...</i>
- Just breathe...

518
00:24:44,134 --> 00:24:46,310
- What the--

519
00:24:46,484 --> 00:24:48,704
- <i>¿Qué pasa?</i> No, no...
- What the--

520
00:24:48,878 --> 00:24:50,532
<i>Ay, ¿que pasó?</i> Dad!

521
00:24:50,706 --> 00:24:53,056
- What is this?
- Okay, he was just helping--

522
00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:56,450
Oh my God, he was
just helping Mom with--
with-- with an injury from yoga.

523
00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:59,976
Don't you think
you're overreacting
a little bit?

524
00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:01,934
Is it because he's White?

525
00:25:02,108 --> 00:25:03,849
Dad...

526
00:25:04,023 --> 00:25:06,373
since when do we judge people
by the color of their skin?

527
00:25:09,115 --> 00:25:10,813
Hey, this isn't
about the color of his skin

528
00:25:10,987 --> 00:25:12,771
or the lack of color
of his skin. All right?

529
00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,252
I like gringos.
All right?

530
00:25:15,426 --> 00:25:18,037
Because of them, we have
this amazing house
in this great country.

531
00:25:18,211 --> 00:25:19,822
We have food on our table.

532
00:25:19,996 --> 00:25:22,346
I mean, I love their food.
Pizza and hot dogs.

533
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,174
I mean, there's no taste,
like eating cardboard.

534
00:25:24,348 --> 00:25:26,698
Hey, Dad! What's going on?

535
00:25:26,872 --> 00:25:27,743
Stop.

536
00:25:31,050 --> 00:25:34,663
How about, in front
of all these witnesses,

537
00:25:34,837 --> 00:25:35,968
you make a promise...

538
00:25:38,057 --> 00:25:40,059
that you're gonna
give him a chance?

539
00:25:41,626 --> 00:25:43,672
Just get to know him.

540
00:25:45,543 --> 00:25:47,763
Yeah, of course.

541
00:25:49,721 --> 00:25:50,809
- Ay.

542
00:26:07,347 --> 00:26:08,348
Hey.

543
00:26:08,522 --> 00:26:09,741
Are you feeling better?

544
00:26:12,570 --> 00:26:14,616
You need to apologize
to Leaf.

545
00:26:14,790 --> 00:26:16,443
Leif.

546
00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:18,184
Yes! Whatever his name is.

547
00:26:18,358 --> 00:26:19,969
He is a good boy.

548
00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:22,101
You know, he actually
fixed my back.

549
00:26:22,275 --> 00:26:23,668
Look, look!

550
00:26:25,409 --> 00:26:27,280
He used to work
<i>con los estos...</i>

551
00:26:27,454 --> 00:26:30,936
With these guys from NY!
The chiro... practicians.

552
00:26:31,110 --> 00:26:33,286
Anyway,
I feel better.

553
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:35,462
Well, I didn't know.

554
00:26:35,637 --> 00:26:38,596
<i>Y</i> so maybe your handyboy
can help us with this <i>aqui.</i>

555
00:26:38,770 --> 00:26:40,729
Hmm?

556
00:26:40,903 --> 00:26:43,166
-  What?
What is that?
- What do you think?

557
00:26:43,340 --> 00:26:44,384
-  It's how they
did it in Mexico.
- It's a Christmas tree?

558
00:26:44,558 --> 00:26:45,429
A cactus?

559
00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:46,648
Yeah!

560
00:26:46,822 --> 00:26:48,954
Benicio, really?

561
00:26:49,128 --> 00:26:51,087
Listen, does nobody care
about tradition around here
except me?

562
00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:52,915
It's Christmas Eve.
You know where they're at?

563
00:26:53,089 --> 00:26:54,438
They are there
on Christmas Eve,

564
00:26:54,612 --> 00:26:56,483
eating tofu, <i>con ese</i> gringo.

565
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,181
That's why Chicanos
are losing their roots.

566
00:26:58,355 --> 00:26:59,748
First, we lost California,
and then Arizona,

567
00:26:59,922 --> 00:27:01,793
and then Texas,
and then New Mexico.

568
00:27:01,967 --> 00:27:03,969
New Mexico, they don't even
consider themselves Mexicans.

569
00:27:04,143 --> 00:27:05,492
They consider themselves
New Mexicans.

570
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,190
How could you be
a New Mexican?

571
00:27:07,364 --> 00:27:09,192
You know how?
Because all old Mexicans
are dying

572
00:27:09,366 --> 00:27:10,759
and the new ones
are coming over,

573
00:27:10,933 --> 00:27:12,499
and where are they
Christmas Eve?

574
00:27:12,674 --> 00:27:13,936
Eating tofu <i>con un</i> gringo!
That's why!

575
00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:16,068
Okay. It is pretty.

576
00:27:16,242 --> 00:27:18,418
Am I doing everything wrong?

577
00:27:18,592 --> 00:27:21,030
No! It's pretty!
Look at the little bow!
So pretty.

578
00:27:22,901 --> 00:27:24,294
<i>Pero</i> you're changing
the subject.

579
00:27:24,468 --> 00:27:25,991
You're gonna go
and apologize to Leaf.

580
00:27:26,165 --> 00:27:27,863
- Leif.
-  Yes, that one.

581
00:27:43,182 --> 00:27:45,837
Hey, <i>vatos.</i>
Ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out.

582
00:27:46,011 --> 00:27:48,840
I think he-he--
he's mad at something.

583
00:27:49,014 --> 00:27:50,494
Yeah, the foreigner.

584
00:27:50,668 --> 00:27:52,017
Say what, fool?
You're from Puerto Rico.

585
00:27:52,191 --> 00:27:54,280
I'm mad at your mom
for having you.

586
00:27:54,454 --> 00:27:56,108
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,
let me school you
real quick, <i>ese.</i>

587
00:27:56,282 --> 00:27:58,545
That is US territory, homie.

588
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,156
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.

589
00:28:00,330 --> 00:28:01,853
- No, it's not, fool.
- Yes, it is.

590
00:28:02,027 --> 00:28:03,507
Hey, you put pineapple
on your pizza?

591
00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:05,814
Oh, yeah. I love <i>piña.</i>

592
00:28:05,988 --> 00:28:07,511
You see? That's
where you're confused.

593
00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:09,165
And soon your ass
is gonna be singing

594
00:28:09,339 --> 00:28:11,210
country music in Spanish
at a rap concert.

595
00:28:11,384 --> 00:28:13,038
- What's that mean, <i>ese?</i>

596
00:28:13,212 --> 00:28:15,171
Says a jealous
German-looking Mexican.

597
00:28:18,087 --> 00:28:19,436
Hey, what's up, dude?

598
00:28:19,610 --> 00:28:21,090
- What's up, homie?
- Hey, don't be judging

599
00:28:21,264 --> 00:28:22,482
no book by the color
of the sleeve, homie.

600
00:28:22,656 --> 00:28:23,527
- All right, what?

601
00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:25,964
Sleeve? These are sleeves.

602
00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:28,010
- Right here, homie.
- That's a highlighter.

603
00:28:28,184 --> 00:28:30,621
Yeah, I could tat you up
real quick, homie.
Look, boom, tatted.

604
00:28:30,795 --> 00:28:32,188
What's up, Highlights?

605
00:28:32,362 --> 00:28:33,755
- Hey, don't panic, fool.

606
00:28:33,929 --> 00:28:36,932
- I'm Hispanic.
- I guess he's organic.

607
00:28:37,106 --> 00:28:39,369
Hey, forget you fools.
Put the music back on.

608
00:28:45,027 --> 00:28:48,378
- <i>Señor</i> Sanchez!
-  Ay, my eyes!

609
00:28:50,336 --> 00:28:53,644
Hey, give me the bull.
<i>Ahí te va el</i> bull.

610
00:28:53,818 --> 00:28:55,472
Oh, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.

611
00:28:55,646 --> 00:28:57,213
- <i>Ahí te va el</i> bull.
- Don't get too close.

612
00:28:57,387 --> 00:28:58,649
Watch out, watch out,
watch out, watch out, watch out.

613
00:28:58,823 --> 00:28:59,737
Damn lights! Ahem.

614
00:29:01,130 --> 00:29:02,087
You okay?

615
00:29:04,350 --> 00:29:05,917
- I got you.
- I want to say something--

616
00:29:06,091 --> 00:29:07,179
say something to you.

617
00:29:08,267 --> 00:29:10,356
Uh, <i>sí, señor Sanchez?</i>

618
00:29:10,530 --> 00:29:13,577
- Can you do me a favor?
- <i>Sí.</i>

619
00:29:13,751 --> 00:29:15,144
- Can you stop
calling me that?
- What?

620
00:29:15,318 --> 00:29:17,102
<i>Señor Sanchez.</i>

621
00:29:17,276 --> 00:29:18,843
You know what?
Just call me Bennie instead.

622
00:29:19,017 --> 00:29:20,889
Sure thing. Yeah.

623
00:29:21,063 --> 00:29:23,717
Hey, so, Leif,
I wanted to, uh,

624
00:29:23,892 --> 00:29:27,286
I wanted to apologize to you
for earlier today. I mean, I--

625
00:29:27,460 --> 00:29:30,072
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, Mr--
<i>Señor--</i> Mr. Bennie,

626
00:29:30,246 --> 00:29:32,074
- it's really-- it's-- it--
- No. No, man, listen, I--

627
00:29:32,248 --> 00:29:36,121
I mean, I thought,
you know--
you looked like--

628
00:29:36,295 --> 00:29:37,906
Aww, crap.

629
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,821
What the hell
is this? Look at this bush!

630
00:29:39,995 --> 00:29:41,561
What a mess!
- Oh, here--

631
00:29:41,735 --> 00:29:43,085
Here, I'll just--

632
00:29:43,259 --> 00:29:45,522
No, it's all messed up.

633
00:29:48,612 --> 00:29:51,963
You know, I could, uh--
I could help you with that.

634
00:29:53,617 --> 00:29:54,531
Really?

635
00:29:56,272 --> 00:29:58,578
I know my way
around a hedge. Yeah.

636
00:29:58,752 --> 00:29:59,971
- Really, huh?
- Yeah.

637
00:30:00,145 --> 00:30:01,712
All right, don't go
nowhere. Hang on.

638
00:30:03,496 --> 00:30:05,020
White boy is risking
his <i>huevos,</i> eh?

639
00:30:08,719 --> 00:30:11,287
- Ah. Let's see.
- Yeah.

640
00:30:11,461 --> 00:30:13,811
- All right.
Good luck. Ahem.
- Okay.

641
00:30:13,985 --> 00:30:15,508
Uh...

642
00:30:20,122 --> 00:30:21,253
All right.

643
00:30:36,616 --> 00:30:37,879
Damn.

644
00:30:40,707 --> 00:30:42,057
Damn, homie!
I ain't never seen

645
00:30:42,231 --> 00:30:43,710
anything like this
in my life.

646
00:30:45,799 --> 00:30:49,020
Wow!
White boy gets down, eh?

647
00:30:58,508 --> 00:31:00,902
- Bring it in.
- Oh, yeah. Let's go.

648
00:31:10,563 --> 00:31:12,957
Hey, he's
a damn fool, <i>ese.</i>

649
00:31:13,131 --> 00:31:14,132
<i>Palabra.</i>

650
00:31:18,441 --> 00:31:20,182
Wow.

651
00:31:20,356 --> 00:31:22,010
Yeah, I think
I know why that homegirl

652
00:31:22,184 --> 00:31:23,576
- fell in love with him, eh?
-  Mr. Bennie.

653
00:31:23,750 --> 00:31:25,100
Grass, homie.

654
00:31:30,801 --> 00:31:31,889
- Thank you.

655
00:31:32,063 --> 00:31:35,371
Yeah, here you go.

656
00:31:37,068 --> 00:31:39,549
Any time.

657
00:31:39,723 --> 00:31:42,334
Did that White boy just teach
that Mexican how to landscape?

658
00:31:42,508 --> 00:31:45,555
Look, Bennie's speechless.

659
00:31:45,729 --> 00:31:47,252
Hey, fools,
and what's next?

660
00:31:47,426 --> 00:31:49,211
They gonna valet park
our lowriders, <i>¿o qué?</i>

661
00:31:49,385 --> 00:31:51,169
Hey, he better be careful
with this thing, fool.

662
00:31:51,343 --> 00:31:53,345
- <i>Palabra.</i>
- He ain't touching
my car, fool.

663
00:32:01,875 --> 00:32:03,616
What do you think?

664
00:32:03,790 --> 00:32:06,271
Um, I mean, I like all of it,
except for the flags.

665
00:32:06,445 --> 00:32:07,969
- What--
- What's wrong
with the flag?

666
00:32:08,143 --> 00:32:09,622
Dad, it's Christmas,
not Cinco de Mayo.

667
00:32:09,796 --> 00:32:12,321
Red, white and green.
Jesus was Mexican.

668
00:32:12,495 --> 00:32:13,365
What?

669
00:32:13,539 --> 00:32:14,758
I never told you?

670
00:32:14,932 --> 00:32:16,455
His real name is <i>Jesús,</i>
right?

671
00:32:16,629 --> 00:32:17,761
- Ay...
- He'd ride around on a mule,

672
00:32:17,935 --> 00:32:19,371
lived at home
until he was 33.

673
00:32:19,545 --> 00:32:21,069
- Mm-hmm.
- Swears his mom was a virgin.

674
00:32:21,243 --> 00:32:22,592
Your <i>tía</i> Concha,
she has seven kids

675
00:32:22,766 --> 00:32:24,811
and she swears
that she's a virgin.

676
00:32:24,986 --> 00:32:26,900
Now, either she's lying
or one of those kids
is a Messiah.

677
00:32:27,075 --> 00:32:28,076
Okay, Dad,
I love him.

678
00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:30,426
And your <i>tío</i> Gustavo,

679
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,644
when he was locked up
in county, said
he found Jesus there.

680
00:32:31,818 --> 00:32:34,169
- Everybody loves Jesus.
- Dad!

681
00:32:34,343 --> 00:32:35,692
I am trying to explain
something to you here
so we can have a real talk,

682
00:32:35,866 --> 00:32:37,302
but you're not really
listening to me.

683
00:32:37,476 --> 00:32:38,825
Is there a way
that we can meet
in the middle?

684
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,349
We need to have a talk,
you and I.

685
00:32:40,523 --> 00:32:42,568
Wh-- Do you see this?

686
00:32:42,742 --> 00:32:44,179
You're not even paying
attention to me.

687
00:32:44,353 --> 00:32:45,615
Father-daughter talk.

688
00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:48,009
Dad, what father-daughter talk?

689
00:32:48,183 --> 00:32:51,055
When people talk to each other,
they also listen
to what the other has to say.

690
00:32:51,229 --> 00:32:53,101
That's what a talk is.

691
00:32:53,275 --> 00:32:54,406
Father-daughter talk.
Come on.

692
00:32:54,580 --> 00:32:55,929
- <i>¿Qué?</i>
- Let's go.

693
00:32:56,104 --> 00:32:57,496
- Dad... Dad!

694
00:32:57,670 --> 00:32:58,715
Dad, my heels!

695
00:32:59,716 --> 00:33:01,239
Dad-- Are you not
gonna get my door?

696
00:33:01,413 --> 00:33:03,589
Uh, okay.
wow you changed.

697
00:33:03,763 --> 00:33:05,156
<i>Cómo que</i> change! See,
in New York City,
there's gentlemen.

698
00:33:05,330 --> 00:33:06,679
- Wow.
- <i>Gracias.</i>

699
00:33:06,853 --> 00:33:08,029
All right, after you.

700
00:33:13,077 --> 00:33:15,079
This is fun.

701
00:33:19,388 --> 00:33:21,781
Okay, you know what, Dad?
I wanna go home.

702
00:33:21,955 --> 00:33:23,870
Go-- no!
W-we-- we just got here.

703
00:33:24,045 --> 00:33:26,177
What-- this is
your favorite place.

704
00:33:26,351 --> 00:33:29,398
What? No, it's not
and it never was.

705
00:33:29,572 --> 00:33:32,227
<i>Cómo que</i> never was?

706
00:33:32,401 --> 00:33:34,490
What-- what is this?
Dad, I'm hungry.

707
00:33:34,664 --> 00:33:36,144
I want actual food.

708
00:33:39,060 --> 00:33:41,018
<i>i¡Ay, qué rico!</i>

709
00:33:41,192 --> 00:33:44,239
Where's he?
<i>Hola. Hola, Leaf.</i>

710
00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:48,460
Hi, Leaf, come here
and dance with your <i>tía.</i>

711
00:33:53,683 --> 00:33:56,773
There you go.
Oh, no, no, not like that.

712
00:33:56,947 --> 00:33:57,991
- No?
- Oh, no.

713
00:33:58,166 --> 00:33:59,689
Feel the music. Yeah.

714
00:33:59,863 --> 00:34:02,474
Mm-hmm.

715
00:34:05,216 --> 00:34:06,826
Okay, come here.

716
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,437
Party pooper.

717
00:34:08,611 --> 00:34:09,829
<i>Vente,</i> Leif,
don't listen to her.

718
00:34:10,003 --> 00:34:11,483
No, she's okay.

719
00:34:11,657 --> 00:34:13,877
She's the non-recovered
party girl of the house.

720
00:34:15,270 --> 00:34:17,098
- Ay, so yeah...
- Wow.

721
00:34:17,272 --> 00:34:19,317
Have you
tried the tamales?

722
00:34:19,491 --> 00:34:21,276
- Yes, yes, I have.
They're great.
- Yeah? Uh-huh.

723
00:34:21,450 --> 00:34:22,625
Although I don't find
many places

724
00:34:22,799 --> 00:34:24,322
that make them back east.

725
00:34:24,496 --> 00:34:26,150
Yeah, uh, you're in
for a treat this year,

726
00:34:26,324 --> 00:34:28,326
<i>porque la</i> Grandma Tita here,

727
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:31,112
she's making her world famous,
one-of-a-kind chicken tamales.

728
00:34:31,286 --> 00:34:32,722
- Uh-huh, oh yeah. Yeah.
- Oh.

729
00:34:32,896 --> 00:34:34,419
You'll know what's good.

730
00:34:34,593 --> 00:34:35,986
- That sounds great.
- Yeah.

731
00:34:38,031 --> 00:34:40,469
Dad, how come you never liked
any of my boyfriends?

732
00:34:40,643 --> 00:34:43,080
You didn't even like Gabriel,
and he was actually a good guy,

733
00:34:43,254 --> 00:34:44,386
and he came
from a good family.

734
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:45,822
Wait, well,
who's that? Elmo?

735
00:34:45,996 --> 00:34:47,302
Elmo?

736
00:34:47,476 --> 00:34:48,738
The wetback!

737
00:34:50,261 --> 00:34:51,654
Dad!

738
00:34:52,698 --> 00:34:56,137
He was not a wetback
and you called Immigration
on him.

739
00:34:56,311 --> 00:34:58,095
Don't exaggerate,
all right?

740
00:34:58,269 --> 00:35:00,228
All I did was yell <i>"La migra!"</i>
and that kid took off.

741
00:35:00,402 --> 00:35:02,143
Hey, he ran across country
so fast,

742
00:35:02,317 --> 00:35:04,232
if they had a border Olympics,
he would've won gold.

743
00:35:04,406 --> 00:35:06,843
<i>Papá,</i> that's not funny.

744
00:35:07,017 --> 00:35:10,325
<i>Mira,</i> Joaquin,
Frankie, Antonio.

745
00:35:10,499 --> 00:35:12,240
It's like I could never
have a boyfriend

746
00:35:12,414 --> 00:35:14,720
because you would always
just make it so hard for me.

747
00:35:16,635 --> 00:35:17,723
What the hell
is it with this chicken?

748
00:35:17,897 --> 00:35:20,161
Hey, well, you--

749
00:35:20,335 --> 00:35:22,032
Thank you. Back to the--

750
00:35:22,206 --> 00:35:23,860
back to that cage.

751
00:35:24,034 --> 00:35:26,167
Um, you were too young
to have boyfriends.

752
00:35:26,341 --> 00:35:27,603
Why, what now?

753
00:35:27,777 --> 00:35:28,821
What's your excuse now?

754
00:35:28,995 --> 00:35:30,693
Well, at least they're Mexicans.

755
00:35:30,867 --> 00:35:32,956
What about Javier? I know
he's a little bit of a playboy,

756
00:35:33,130 --> 00:35:34,784
a little Don Juan thing going,

757
00:35:34,958 --> 00:35:36,786
but you know what,
he's always been
really nice to you.

758
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,571
I am a strong,
independent woman

759
00:35:39,745 --> 00:35:41,791
who is capable of making
her own choices.

760
00:35:41,965 --> 00:35:44,359
You see, that's exactly
what I'm talking about,

761
00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:46,578
because you're getting
to the age that--

762
00:35:46,752 --> 00:35:48,841
where--

763
00:35:49,015 --> 00:35:50,669
Have you and Leif...

764
00:35:50,843 --> 00:35:52,671
I can't even believe
I'm gonna say this...

765
00:35:52,845 --> 00:35:54,107
Mm.

766
00:35:54,282 --> 00:35:56,284
Has he taken
your <i>chanclas</i> off?

767
00:35:56,458 --> 00:35:57,894
<i>i¡Papá!</i>

768
00:35:58,068 --> 00:35:59,722
Have you lost your mind?!

769
00:36:05,118 --> 00:36:07,295
I am 23 years old.

770
00:36:07,469 --> 00:36:09,471
I did not come here
for you to tell me

771
00:36:09,645 --> 00:36:11,255
what it's like to be
<i>sin chanclas.</i>

772
00:36:11,429 --> 00:36:12,648
That's going too far.

773
00:36:12,822 --> 00:36:13,997
- Look...!

774
00:36:14,171 --> 00:36:14,954
No, no, no, no, no!
Look!

775
00:36:16,086 --> 00:36:17,696
You stupid chicken!!

776
00:36:17,870 --> 00:36:19,785
<i>Mira,</i> well-- Hey,
I've known you your whole life.

777
00:36:19,959 --> 00:36:21,309
He's known you two months.

778
00:36:21,483 --> 00:36:23,398
He's like a duck without legs!

779
00:36:37,586 --> 00:36:39,022
Hey, beautiful.

780
00:36:39,196 --> 00:36:40,719
- Javier?

781
00:36:40,893 --> 00:36:42,678
De la Torre?

782
00:36:48,945 --> 00:36:50,076
Would you look who it is?

783
00:36:50,251 --> 00:36:51,643
- Mm-mm.

784
00:36:51,817 --> 00:36:54,124
- Hi. Oh!
- How are you?

785
00:36:55,256 --> 00:36:57,170
Your mom told me you were
coming home for Christmas.

786
00:36:57,345 --> 00:36:59,390
I just did not think your dad

787
00:36:59,564 --> 00:37:01,000
would bring you back
to this place
on your first day back.

788
00:37:01,174 --> 00:37:02,698
Yeah, you and me both.

789
00:37:02,872 --> 00:37:05,178
And he thinks I'm the one
who still hasn't grown up.

790
00:37:05,353 --> 00:37:06,745
Can you believe that?

791
00:37:06,919 --> 00:37:09,748
I mean, you look
pretty grown to me.

792
00:37:09,922 --> 00:37:12,142
So what do you think
of my girl?

793
00:37:13,186 --> 00:37:16,494
Wow, she is really pretty.

794
00:37:16,668 --> 00:37:18,627
Not as pretty as you.

795
00:37:18,801 --> 00:37:19,976
Ay.

796
00:37:20,150 --> 00:37:22,544
So, where can I take you?

797
00:37:22,718 --> 00:37:25,677
As far away
from here as possible.

798
00:37:25,851 --> 00:37:27,723
Your wish is my command.

799
00:37:27,897 --> 00:37:30,203
- Hm.
- After you.

800
00:37:31,422 --> 00:37:34,338
- <i>Gracias.</i>
- Mm-hmm.

801
00:37:44,827 --> 00:37:47,133
Let's get some <i>tacos
de asada,</i> yeah?

802
00:37:47,308 --> 00:37:48,265
Sí.

803
00:37:56,229 --> 00:37:57,883
Can't I do anything
to help out?

804
00:37:58,057 --> 00:37:59,842
I feel like I'm just sort of,
uh, standing around.

805
00:38:00,016 --> 00:38:02,497
- No.
- You are just standing around.

806
00:38:02,671 --> 00:38:03,802
Get to work.

807
00:38:03,976 --> 00:38:04,890
- <i>Sí, señorito.</i>

808
00:38:05,064 --> 00:38:07,284
A. <i>Señorita.</i>

809
00:38:07,458 --> 00:38:10,374
Oh, that's right.
Uh, a, girls,
o is for boys.

810
00:38:10,548 --> 00:38:13,856
- <i>Sí.</i>
- <i>Señorita. Señorita. Disculpe.</i>

811
00:38:14,030 --> 00:38:16,249
You are <i>disculpado.</i> Hm.

812
00:38:16,424 --> 00:38:20,471
Now, everybody in this family
helps out with the cooking.

813
00:38:20,645 --> 00:38:22,604
I used to be a chef
in Mexico.

814
00:38:22,778 --> 00:38:24,693
Mm, and a very good one.
Mm-hmm.

815
00:38:24,867 --> 00:38:26,129
Wow, now I really
can't wait to try

816
00:38:26,303 --> 00:38:28,087
your world-famous
chicken tamales.

817
00:38:28,261 --> 00:38:31,656
You have to start
with fresh, <i>m'hijo.</i>
That's the secret.

818
00:38:31,830 --> 00:38:33,832
Now, Leaf,

819
00:38:34,006 --> 00:38:35,443
go into the kitchen

820
00:38:35,617 --> 00:38:38,489
and get the chicken
out of the stove, please.

821
00:38:38,663 --> 00:38:42,101
- <i>Sí, señorita.</i>

822
00:38:42,275 --> 00:38:44,234
Dance with me!

823
00:38:50,632 --> 00:38:52,547
Damn chicken!

824
00:38:53,852 --> 00:38:55,985
Tita! At least pluck
the chicken!

825
00:39:04,515 --> 00:39:05,951
Where's the chicken?

826
00:39:15,570 --> 00:39:16,919
Thank you!

827
00:39:18,921 --> 00:39:21,097
-  Are you gonna close
the door?

828
00:39:21,271 --> 00:39:23,099
You're stupid.
Hi, baby.

829
00:39:23,273 --> 00:39:24,448
Hi. Hey.

830
00:39:24,622 --> 00:39:26,363
You must be Leaf.

831
00:39:28,060 --> 00:39:30,323
- I--
- You're a lucky man, bro.

832
00:39:32,630 --> 00:39:34,632
This is Javier.
I just told him
everything about you.

833
00:39:34,806 --> 00:39:36,329
I'm sure you did.

834
00:39:36,504 --> 00:39:38,331
He's just an old friend.

835
00:39:38,506 --> 00:39:41,204
By old friend,
you mean friend
or friend-friend?

836
00:39:41,378 --> 00:39:44,337
- Hmm?
- Have you ever seen
Claudia dance salsa?

837
00:39:44,512 --> 00:39:45,948
- No.
- Ay, stop it.

838
00:39:46,122 --> 00:39:48,341
My friend,
you are missing out.

839
00:39:48,516 --> 00:39:49,778
Stop it.

840
00:39:49,952 --> 00:39:51,257
There's goes
that F word again.

841
00:39:51,432 --> 00:39:53,651
Don't worry, <i>huerito.</i>

842
00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:55,436
She'll show you.

843
00:39:55,610 --> 00:39:57,655
I'll see you around.
It was nice to meet you...

844
00:39:57,829 --> 00:40:00,136
- Twig?
- <i>Epa,</i> Leif, I told you.

845
00:40:00,310 --> 00:40:01,659
Bye, beautiful.

846
00:40:01,833 --> 00:40:03,661
- Drive safe, okay?
- Always, love.

847
00:40:03,835 --> 00:40:06,359
Sounds good, big kiss.
See you later!

848
00:40:07,709 --> 00:40:09,450
Is there something
I should know about?

849
00:40:09,624 --> 00:40:11,103
Because if I don't know,
I don't know, but if I
know,--

850
00:40:11,277 --> 00:40:13,497
Yeah. Actually, there is.

851
00:40:13,671 --> 00:40:16,587
I knew it.
Damn, he's handsome.

852
00:40:16,761 --> 00:40:18,633
- And he can dance, too?
- What? No, no.

853
00:40:18,807 --> 00:40:20,504
- He's just an old friend.
- How long have you known him?

854
00:40:20,678 --> 00:40:22,114
He's just an old friend.
I told you.

855
00:40:22,288 --> 00:40:24,073
My Dad, he took me
to that cheese place.

856
00:40:24,247 --> 00:40:25,683
Where is your dad?

857
00:40:25,857 --> 00:40:27,946
Probably still playing
at Cheesy Chuck.

858
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:29,295
It's because of me,
isn't it?

859
00:40:29,470 --> 00:40:31,515
Um, yeah, of course it is.

860
00:40:31,689 --> 00:40:33,343
You know, at first,
I didn't think this was
such a huge mistake,

861
00:40:33,517 --> 00:40:35,824
but now I'm really
starting to think it is.

862
00:40:35,998 --> 00:40:37,956
You know, I'm sorry
I don't speak Spanish

863
00:40:38,130 --> 00:40:39,958
- or know how to salsa.

864
00:40:40,132 --> 00:40:41,917
You know, your dad
would probably be more happy

865
00:40:42,091 --> 00:40:45,137
if you were
with that Javier guy
instead of me.

866
00:40:45,311 --> 00:40:48,053
Ay, ay, ay. <i>Es que</i> you men
are impossible.

867
00:40:48,227 --> 00:40:50,621
Between trying to please you
and please my father,

868
00:40:50,795 --> 00:40:53,276
I just feel like I can't win,
so why do I even try?

869
00:40:53,450 --> 00:40:54,669
- I just--
- Where are you going?

870
00:40:54,843 --> 00:40:56,061
I-I don't know.
I don't know.

871
00:40:56,235 --> 00:40:57,498
Wait!
Honey.

872
00:41:03,286 --> 00:41:04,722
That was so sweet!

873
00:41:04,896 --> 00:41:06,942
- What?
- <i>i¡Cariño!</i>

874
00:41:07,116 --> 00:41:09,031
I've never heard you
say that before.

875
00:41:09,205 --> 00:41:11,642
Well, I mean, maybe I could say
something right, you know.

876
00:41:11,816 --> 00:41:15,254
Well, yeah,
for once.

877
00:41:15,428 --> 00:41:16,778
-  Aw.

878
00:41:16,952 --> 00:41:18,519
They're--
they're watching.

879
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,524
You should teach me
how to salsa.

880
00:41:23,698 --> 00:41:25,874
Oh, you want me
to teach you how to salsa?

881
00:41:26,048 --> 00:41:28,006
You're gonna start
with your feet like this, eh?

882
00:41:28,180 --> 00:41:29,747
Okay, you know what?
Forget about your feet.

883
00:41:29,921 --> 00:41:31,488
- Like this?
- Let's work on the hips.

884
00:41:31,662 --> 00:41:33,272
- Okay. Like this?
- Okay, a little bit. Just--

885
00:41:33,446 --> 00:41:34,970
Forget about your feet.
Let's work on the hips.

886
00:41:35,144 --> 00:41:37,015
- Okay.
- Okay. Uh-huh.

887
00:41:37,189 --> 00:41:38,843
A little bit of hips.
- I like that.

888
00:41:39,017 --> 00:41:40,236
- Okay, hold my hand, baby.
- Like this?

889
00:41:40,410 --> 00:41:42,412
No, my love,
move your hips.

890
00:41:42,586 --> 00:41:44,370
- How about this?
- Okay, forget about the hips.

891
00:41:44,545 --> 00:41:46,938
How 'bout you just twirl me
and then you dip me, okay?

892
00:41:47,112 --> 00:41:48,636
Okay. Okay.

893
00:41:48,810 --> 00:41:50,289
- Do what? Wait, wait.
- Twirl and then d--

894
00:41:50,463 --> 00:41:52,857
- Baby!
- Um, I'm okay!

895
00:41:53,031 --> 00:41:55,468
- Seriously?
- What are you guys doing?

896
00:41:55,643 --> 00:41:57,775
- I-- Oh, God, how long--
- Oh, I didn't mean to do that.

897
00:41:57,949 --> 00:42:00,212
I-- how long have you been
standing there?
When did you get home?

898
00:42:00,386 --> 00:42:02,519
Long enough to see Mr. Leif
doesn't know what he's doing.

899
00:42:02,693 --> 00:42:04,913
We were just--
we were just having fun, Dad.

900
00:42:05,087 --> 00:42:07,524
We were just dancing.

901
00:42:07,698 --> 00:42:09,439
Dancing. Where I come from,
you see a guy moving like that,
you call him a <i>pinguino.</i>

902
00:42:09,613 --> 00:42:11,528
- Let me show
you how it's done.
- Here we go.

903
00:42:11,702 --> 00:42:14,836
- Here, give a little
spin here, comes back.
- Mm-hmm.

904
00:42:15,010 --> 00:42:17,403
When you get more advanced,
you can spin her again.

905
00:42:17,578 --> 00:42:19,231
She comes to you, hi,
and she comes back.

906
00:42:19,405 --> 00:42:21,407
<i>Así,</i> just like that. Beautiful.

907
00:42:21,582 --> 00:42:24,149
- All right,
now it's your turn.
- All right.

908
00:42:24,323 --> 00:42:25,629
Okay.

909
00:42:25,803 --> 00:42:27,500
No, no, not with her.
With me.

910
00:42:27,675 --> 00:42:31,896
-  What?
- Come on. Yeah, come on.

911
00:42:32,070 --> 00:42:33,724
Hey. You have to feel it,
all right, <i>pinguino?</i>

912
00:42:33,898 --> 00:42:35,596
Right here. You have
to feel it. Do you feel it?

913
00:42:35,770 --> 00:42:37,293
- No.
- Then you do a nice little turn

914
00:42:37,467 --> 00:42:38,947
- and come back. Okay.

915
00:42:39,121 --> 00:42:40,601
<i>A bailar!</i>

916
00:42:40,775 --> 00:42:42,515
- It's all
about confidence, okay?
- Okay.

917
00:42:42,690 --> 00:42:45,344
All right, I got you
right here.

918
00:42:45,518 --> 00:42:46,737
- Okay.
- Nice and ea-- Ah!

919
00:42:46,911 --> 00:42:48,696
- Ah!

920
00:42:48,870 --> 00:42:50,915
<i>Then I go into a bridge.</i>

921
00:42:51,089 --> 00:42:53,004
<i>And tight, tight, tight.</i>

922
00:42:53,178 --> 00:42:55,006
<i>Squeeze your glutes.</i>

923
00:42:55,180 --> 00:42:56,965
- <i>Smile.</i>

924
00:42:57,139 --> 00:42:59,141
- Oh.
-  Damn!

925
00:43:00,533 --> 00:43:02,710
What happened?

926
00:43:02,884 --> 00:43:05,451
I was at Cluck-Y-Cheese
with Claudia to have
a father-daughter talk.

927
00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:08,324
She hates
that place.

928
00:43:08,498 --> 00:43:09,804
Why does everybody
say that?

929
00:43:09,978 --> 00:43:11,414
<i>Bueno, y</i> how was it?

930
00:43:13,068 --> 00:43:16,419
- What do you think?

931
00:43:16,593 --> 00:43:18,769
Now I know
where the brown eggs
come from.

932
00:43:23,687 --> 00:43:26,734
<i>Entonces</i> what happened?

933
00:43:26,908 --> 00:43:28,039
We got in a little argument.

934
00:43:30,259 --> 00:43:32,130
Where is she now?

935
00:43:32,304 --> 00:43:36,961
Now, she's outside
dancing salsa
<i>con el gringo.</i>

936
00:43:37,135 --> 00:43:39,660
Oh, well, that's good.

937
00:43:39,834 --> 00:43:41,313
That's great.

938
00:43:42,663 --> 00:43:43,707
Yeah.

939
00:43:45,535 --> 00:43:47,145
Okay.

940
00:43:49,931 --> 00:43:52,585
Ay...

941
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,153
And all I wanted was
to have a perfect Christmas.

942
00:43:55,327 --> 00:43:59,375
- Ow, ow...

943
00:43:59,549 --> 00:44:01,159
Stupid chicken.

944
00:44:09,037 --> 00:44:10,560
-  Okay, baby,

945
00:44:10,734 --> 00:44:12,649
so my Aunt Carmen is
in the guest bedroom,

946
00:44:12,823 --> 00:44:14,999
but make sure
that you don't go in there,

947
00:44:15,173 --> 00:44:17,872
because otherwise
you'll be dancing
to cumbias all night, okay?

948
00:44:19,743 --> 00:44:22,311
But I'm sure Tootsie here
wouldn't mind you being

949
00:44:22,485 --> 00:44:26,010
her little bed buddy,
right, Tootsie?

950
00:44:29,057 --> 00:44:32,277
Well, at least tomorrow
is Christmas Eve, you know.

951
00:44:32,451 --> 00:44:35,628
I mean, what could
possibly go wrong then?

952
00:44:35,803 --> 00:44:38,240
Mm, just a few
Mexican ticks.

953
00:44:38,414 --> 00:44:41,591
- Yeah.

954
00:44:41,765 --> 00:44:44,594
I'll see you
in the morning.

955
00:44:47,292 --> 00:44:48,903
If not before then.

956
00:44:49,077 --> 00:44:51,122
Oh.

957
00:45:01,872 --> 00:45:03,265
Yeah.

958
00:45:27,332 --> 00:45:28,986
- Let's go, baby.
Come on.
- Woo!

959
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,771
- Okay, I'm trying, baby.
- That's my baby girl.

960
00:45:30,945 --> 00:45:32,773
Die, die!

961
00:45:32,947 --> 00:45:34,905
-  Get her away
from the remote.
-  Oh, yeah.

962
00:45:35,079 --> 00:45:37,168
- You're doing great.
You learning?
- She's doing fine.

963
00:45:37,342 --> 00:45:39,736
- What's this nonsense?
- Oh!

964
00:45:39,910 --> 00:45:43,958
It's actually a prototype
from Leif's new game
that he built. Ooh!

965
00:45:44,132 --> 00:45:46,569
He actually
even sold it
to a big company.

966
00:45:46,743 --> 00:45:49,137
- So, you play games
for a living?
- I design them.

967
00:45:49,311 --> 00:45:52,749
Oh, yes!
Score, <i>huerito!</i> Woo-hoo!

968
00:45:52,923 --> 00:45:55,012
So, pushing buttons
so some space <i>idiotas</i>

969
00:45:55,186 --> 00:45:57,449
can kill each other
is your idea of a game?

970
00:45:57,623 --> 00:45:59,234
-  Of course, Dad!
- Yes, brother-in-law!

971
00:45:59,408 --> 00:46:00,844
Hey, let me tell you something.

972
00:46:01,018 --> 00:46:02,672
A game isn't played
in someone's living room.

973
00:46:02,846 --> 00:46:04,500
-  No, no. No. Ay.

974
00:46:04,674 --> 00:46:08,025
A real game is played
on a field 120 yards long

975
00:46:08,199 --> 00:46:10,723
and 80 yards deep,
and it's called football.

976
00:46:10,898 --> 00:46:12,203
Do you mean soccer?

977
00:46:12,377 --> 00:46:14,162
That's what you gringos
call it, okay?

978
00:46:14,336 --> 00:46:17,600
Football was invented
by my Aztec ancestors
700 years ago.

979
00:46:17,774 --> 00:46:19,471
And you know what they did
to you if you lost?

980
00:46:19,645 --> 00:46:22,300
- Uh, sent you
to the locker room?
- No, man.

981
00:46:22,474 --> 00:46:24,215
They sacrificed you
to the gods.

982
00:46:24,389 --> 00:46:26,261
Ripped open your chest
and they pulled out your live,

983
00:46:26,435 --> 00:46:27,653
still beating heart.

984
00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:29,307
- My God.
- On that field,

985
00:46:29,481 --> 00:46:32,180
you became a man,
an <i>hombre, un patrón.</i>

986
00:46:32,354 --> 00:46:34,704
- Oh, like the tequila!
- Not like the tequila.

987
00:46:34,878 --> 00:46:36,532
<i>Patrón</i> is a boss.

988
00:46:36,706 --> 00:46:38,316
Claudia said
that you're a captain, man.

989
00:46:38,490 --> 00:46:40,231
Are you a captain?

990
00:46:40,405 --> 00:46:43,017
Mm, I was the captain
of my high school debate team.

991
00:46:43,191 --> 00:46:46,324
Oh, debate!
Wow, sounds <i>muy macho.</i>

992
00:46:46,498 --> 00:46:48,152
All right, captain.

993
00:46:48,326 --> 00:46:50,763
It's time for you to play
the game of the gods.

994
00:46:50,938 --> 00:46:52,156
Ignore him.

995
00:46:52,330 --> 00:46:53,636
Meet you on the field
in half an hour.

996
00:46:53,810 --> 00:46:55,899
- She knows where it is.

997
00:46:56,073 --> 00:46:59,033
In-- in the park?

998
00:46:59,207 --> 00:47:00,295
Ay, no.

999
00:47:15,005 --> 00:47:18,879
Ay, ay, ay...
Afternoon, <i>huerito.</i>

1000
00:47:19,053 --> 00:47:20,315
- Hey.

1001
00:47:20,489 --> 00:47:22,970
Did you get a good
night's rest?

1002
00:47:23,144 --> 00:47:24,841
I hear you're
quite the local celebrity.

1003
00:47:25,015 --> 00:47:27,017
No, man, Claudia's the one
who's the rock star.

1004
00:47:28,758 --> 00:47:31,717
So you and Claudia,
you, uh, know each other
quite well, huh?

1005
00:47:31,892 --> 00:47:34,372
Like brother
and sister, <i>amigo.</i>

1006
00:47:34,546 --> 00:47:37,593
You know, she does
a really good in and out.

1007
00:47:37,767 --> 00:47:39,551
You should have her
show you sometime.

1008
00:47:39,725 --> 00:47:42,119
- Excuse me?
- Uh, it's a salsa move,

1009
00:47:42,293 --> 00:47:45,166
where you bring the lady in,
and then you lead her
right back out.

1010
00:47:45,340 --> 00:47:46,558
Here, let me show you, Leaf...

1011
00:47:46,732 --> 00:47:48,256
Hey! Behave!

1012
00:47:49,300 --> 00:47:50,693
- Come on.
- Have a good game, <i>huerito.</i>

1013
00:47:50,867 --> 00:47:52,390
Twig.

1014
00:47:52,564 --> 00:47:54,392
- Sorry, babe.
-  Let's go, y'all.

1015
00:47:54,566 --> 00:47:55,828
This is a very dangerous
game, okay?

1016
00:47:56,003 --> 00:47:57,482
So you're gonna have
to follow my lead.

1017
00:47:57,656 --> 00:47:59,354
<i>Vámonos.</i>

1018
00:48:09,842 --> 00:48:11,192
Where'd you go, potty?

1019
00:48:11,366 --> 00:48:14,108
- <i>¿Qué?</i>

1020
00:48:14,282 --> 00:48:15,936
Heads or tails?

1021
00:48:16,110 --> 00:48:17,459
Tails.

1022
00:48:17,633 --> 00:48:20,636
I knew you were
gonna pick tails.

1023
00:48:20,810 --> 00:48:22,464
- Ah! <i>Aguas!</i>
-  <i>i¡Eso!</i>

1024
00:48:22,638 --> 00:48:24,553
Damnit.

1025
00:48:24,727 --> 00:48:26,729
Get ready to have
a long day there,
One Direction.

1026
00:48:26,903 --> 00:48:28,513
Your starting position
is right here. Okay?

1027
00:48:28,687 --> 00:48:29,906
- Right here?
- Yeah. You got it, baby!

1028
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:31,342
Come on.

1029
00:48:31,516 --> 00:48:33,736
- <i>i¡Portero!</i>
- What do I do?

1030
00:48:33,910 --> 00:48:35,216
-  Get the left side
of the field!

1031
00:48:35,390 --> 00:48:37,653
Oh, this dude's got nothing,
homie. Let's go.

1032
00:48:37,827 --> 00:48:39,785
Baby,
don't use your hands!

1033
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,396
- Foul! You can't
use your hands!
-  He fouled!

1034
00:48:41,570 --> 00:48:43,398
Google it!

1035
00:48:43,572 --> 00:48:45,139
- Baby, you can't
use your hands, babe.
- Okay!

1036
00:48:45,313 --> 00:48:46,836
- You used your your fist.
- That was illegal.

1037
00:48:47,010 --> 00:48:48,969
Ha! That wasn't
the only thing illegal here.

1038
00:48:49,143 --> 00:48:50,796
-  Hey,
give me some Vicks!
- No problem.

1039
00:48:50,971 --> 00:48:53,408
I have my Vicks.

1040
00:48:53,582 --> 00:48:55,366
- I was protecting myself.
- From what?

1041
00:48:55,540 --> 00:48:57,238
- From the ball.
- From the soccer ball?

1042
00:48:57,412 --> 00:48:58,935
Get him a helmet.

1043
00:48:59,109 --> 00:48:59,980
Come on, stay alert,
stay alert!

1044
00:49:01,851 --> 00:49:02,895
Let's do this!

1045
00:49:05,681 --> 00:49:07,509
Watch out, <i>chaparrito,</i>
watch out, fool!

1046
00:49:07,683 --> 00:49:09,598
- Why are you running, fool?

1047
00:49:09,772 --> 00:49:11,469
- That's right!

1048
00:49:11,643 --> 00:49:13,950
- Why you move?
- Goal!

1049
00:49:14,124 --> 00:49:16,039
-  Keep going!
- Get him, Javier!

1050
00:49:18,563 --> 00:49:19,869
Oh, damn! That's it!

1051
00:49:22,002 --> 00:49:23,786
What the hell!

1052
00:49:25,222 --> 00:49:26,963
Long live Mexicans!

1053
00:49:29,270 --> 00:49:30,967
What are you
looking at, <i>ese?</i>

1054
00:49:33,317 --> 00:49:36,059
You are all dead!

1055
00:49:36,233 --> 00:49:37,843
To your graves, dumbasses!

1056
00:49:38,018 --> 00:49:41,064
El Mighty,
you're coming
to work, <i>ese.</i>

1057
00:49:51,901 --> 00:49:54,991
I think you killed him, fool!

1058
00:50:08,961 --> 00:50:10,963
Oh, ouch.

1059
00:50:11,921 --> 00:50:12,878
Ooh.

1060
00:50:14,576 --> 00:50:15,707
Ay.

1061
00:50:45,998 --> 00:50:47,957
Snow in East L.A.?

1062
00:50:49,872 --> 00:50:51,700
What are these fools
doing out there?

1063
00:51:13,896 --> 00:51:15,898
Why isn't Grandpa
here with us?

1064
00:51:18,248 --> 00:51:22,034
Oh, come sit down, sweetie.
Why are you asking
that question?

1065
00:51:22,209 --> 00:51:25,299
Well, grandma said
the reason why he isn't here

1066
00:51:25,473 --> 00:51:27,388
is because he went
to the North Pole.

1067
00:51:27,562 --> 00:51:29,216
Mm-hmm.

1068
00:51:29,390 --> 00:51:32,175
Actually, son,
he went south to Mexico.

1069
00:51:32,349 --> 00:51:35,657
'Cause all he ever wanted
was a Mexican Christmas.

1070
00:51:35,831 --> 00:51:38,050
Uh-- there's Christmas
in Mexico?

1071
00:51:38,225 --> 00:51:39,965
- Mm-hmm.
- Of course, sweetie.

1072
00:51:40,140 --> 00:51:41,706
Christmas is everywhere.

1073
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,405
If there's Christmas everywhere,

1074
00:51:44,579 --> 00:51:46,233
then why isn't he here?

1075
00:51:46,407 --> 00:51:48,670
And also,
why is he in Mexico?

1076
00:51:48,844 --> 00:51:53,240
Well, because he complained
so much about living here

1077
00:51:53,414 --> 00:51:55,807
that he went back to Mexico.

1078
00:51:55,981 --> 00:51:58,723
Mm-hmm. And he lived
happily ever after.

1079
00:52:00,290 --> 00:52:02,684
He has a lot
of Mexican friends.

1080
00:52:02,858 --> 00:52:05,208
Is he happy?

1081
00:52:05,382 --> 00:52:09,125
He loves it.
He even has a <i>burro.</i>

1082
00:52:10,518 --> 00:52:12,346
I'm confused, Mom.

1083
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:16,176
Scoot in a little bit,
yeah, sweetie? Let's eat.

1084
00:52:16,350 --> 00:52:18,090
<i>Ho, ho, ho, ho.</i>

1085
00:52:21,355 --> 00:52:23,183
I'm sorry if I woke you up,
Mr. Sanchez.

1086
00:52:25,446 --> 00:52:27,317
Is that all
you're sorry about?

1087
00:52:27,491 --> 00:52:28,405
Oh...

1088
00:52:29,928 --> 00:52:31,495
Are you okay?

1089
00:52:31,669 --> 00:52:33,932
My head hurts,
no thanks to you.

1090
00:52:35,978 --> 00:52:37,588
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.

1091
00:52:40,548 --> 00:52:43,899
Leif, what are you
doing here?

1092
00:52:45,727 --> 00:52:47,163
It's because of Claudia.

1093
00:52:48,773 --> 00:52:50,688
Okay.

1094
00:52:50,862 --> 00:52:52,908
I know what it's like
to be young,

1095
00:52:53,082 --> 00:52:55,389
and I know
what you want from her,

1096
00:52:55,563 --> 00:52:58,870
so please, don't make me out
to be some <i>pendejo,</i> okay?

1097
00:52:59,044 --> 00:53:01,090
Is that how you felt
about your wife
when you first met her?

1098
00:53:04,049 --> 00:53:06,226
Okay, for once,

1099
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,403
can you just please be clear
about what you're trying to say?

1100
00:53:14,886 --> 00:53:16,323
Mr. Sanchez...

1101
00:53:19,413 --> 00:53:22,459
I would like to ask
for your daughter's hand
in marriage.

1102
00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:23,678
Leif--

1103
00:53:24,679 --> 00:53:26,202
You know, I don't wanna
say the cliches,

1104
00:53:26,376 --> 00:53:28,857
like our love story began
in a single glance

1105
00:53:29,031 --> 00:53:31,686
and, you know,
it was at that moment
that I knew...

1106
00:53:31,860 --> 00:53:34,776
that I had encountered
my soulmate.

1107
00:53:34,950 --> 00:53:36,778
But that's exactly
what I'm saying.

1108
00:53:39,607 --> 00:53:41,217
Mr. Sanchez.

1109
00:53:42,174 --> 00:53:43,611
Are you okay?

1110
00:54:13,075 --> 00:54:14,903
- There you are.
- Hey, hey.

1111
00:54:15,077 --> 00:54:16,861
I was looking for you.
You're gonna miss the <i>piñata.</i>

1112
00:54:17,035 --> 00:54:21,431
Oh, well, I was, um,
talking to your dad.

1113
00:54:21,605 --> 00:54:22,998
Oh, is-- is he okay?
Did he wake up?

1114
00:54:23,172 --> 00:54:26,741
Yeah. Yeah, um,
well, sort of.

1115
00:54:26,915 --> 00:54:28,046
Sort of?

1116
00:54:29,439 --> 00:54:31,267
He was a little unresponsive.

1117
00:54:31,441 --> 00:54:32,703
- Unresponsive. What--
- No, um--

1118
00:54:32,877 --> 00:54:35,402
What do you mean
by unresponsive? What--

1119
00:54:35,576 --> 00:54:37,882
I asked your father
if I could have
his permission--

1120
00:54:40,232 --> 00:54:42,017
- D-Dad?

1121
00:54:42,191 --> 00:54:44,411
Dad! Dad!

1122
00:54:44,585 --> 00:54:47,196
Is this what you mean
by unresponsive? Dad!

1123
00:54:51,766 --> 00:54:54,159
All righty.
Let's get this--

1124
00:54:54,334 --> 00:54:56,771
How are the tamales, Tita?

1125
00:54:56,945 --> 00:54:58,686
Is that question rhetorical?

1126
00:54:58,860 --> 00:55:00,688
Of course!
I know they are fantastic!

1127
00:55:00,862 --> 00:55:02,342
Oh.

1128
00:55:02,516 --> 00:55:04,648
- Give me one, please.

1129
00:55:04,822 --> 00:55:07,172
Carmen, please
bring me some spoons
and some forks.

1130
00:55:07,347 --> 00:55:08,696
- Hey.
- <i>¿Qué?</i>

1131
00:55:08,870 --> 00:55:12,090
Do you want
a "tamale hug"?

1132
00:55:12,264 --> 00:55:14,005
- What?!
- A "tamale hug"?

1133
00:55:14,179 --> 00:55:16,747
- What is that?
- A hug with meat inside!

1134
00:55:16,921 --> 00:55:18,488
- Ay!

1135
00:55:18,662 --> 00:55:20,316
-  Girls!
- Carmen!

1136
00:55:20,490 --> 00:55:23,188
That old bird,
he is up to something.

1137
00:55:27,628 --> 00:55:28,846
Something.

1138
00:55:29,020 --> 00:55:31,719
What bird?

1139
00:55:54,611 --> 00:55:56,178
Over here, <i>m'hijo!</i>
You okay?

1140
00:55:57,745 --> 00:55:59,050
We all gathered here

1141
00:55:59,224 --> 00:56:01,139
for what we thought
was gonna be

1142
00:56:01,313 --> 00:56:04,186
a traditional Mexican

1143
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:08,538
Latino Chicano Christmas.

1144
00:56:08,712 --> 00:56:12,977
But because of this gringo
right here...

1145
00:56:13,151 --> 00:56:14,414
Aw.

1146
00:56:14,588 --> 00:56:16,241
...I lost my self-respect,

1147
00:56:16,416 --> 00:56:18,026
my dignity,

1148
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,594
and I've been humiliated
in front of my family.

1149
00:56:20,768 --> 00:56:25,294
But since it's Christmas,
a time to be joyful and merry,

1150
00:56:25,468 --> 00:56:28,558
I've come out here
with a pasted-on smile.

1151
00:56:28,732 --> 00:56:31,126
It's a season to be
happy and joyful,

1152
00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:33,084
just to tell you, <i>cabrones,</i>
Merry Christmas!

1153
00:56:33,258 --> 00:56:34,434
<i>Feliz Navidad.</i>

1154
00:56:34,608 --> 00:56:36,610
Not on my tradition.

1155
00:56:38,263 --> 00:56:39,569
Not on my Christmas!

1156
00:56:39,743 --> 00:56:41,528
- Your Christmas?

1157
00:56:43,747 --> 00:56:46,315
What do you mean,
your Christmas?

1158
00:56:46,489 --> 00:56:48,360
Dad, Christmas is supposed
to be for everyone,

1159
00:56:48,535 --> 00:56:51,538
and you have done
every possible thing
to destroy it.

1160
00:56:53,365 --> 00:56:56,020
<i>Perdóneme,
señor Sanchez.</i>

1161
00:56:58,588 --> 00:56:59,807
What did you say?

1162
00:57:02,244 --> 00:57:04,725
You know what I just said.

1163
00:57:04,899 --> 00:57:08,468
Now, you-you hear it,
but you don't listen.

1164
00:57:08,642 --> 00:57:10,557
- Which is...
- Um--

1165
00:57:10,731 --> 00:57:12,863
...exactly why Claudia's more
than kind of upset with you,

1166
00:57:13,037 --> 00:57:15,257
in case you haven't heard.

1167
00:57:15,431 --> 00:57:18,608
What gives you the right
to speak to me like that
in my own house?

1168
00:57:20,523 --> 00:57:23,265
Speak to you in what way?

1169
00:57:23,439 --> 00:57:25,180
It won't matter
which way I speak to you,

1170
00:57:25,354 --> 00:57:26,703
because you hate
this gringo.

1171
00:57:28,705 --> 00:57:30,141
You know,
yet I've done everything

1172
00:57:30,315 --> 00:57:32,883
to not only be good
to your daughter,

1173
00:57:33,057 --> 00:57:35,277
but to be good
to your entire family.

1174
00:57:37,888 --> 00:57:41,109
You know, and not even
because I had to,

1175
00:57:41,283 --> 00:57:43,677
because I wanted to.

1176
00:57:44,765 --> 00:57:47,507
You know, I danced
the salsa for you guys.

1177
00:57:47,681 --> 00:57:49,857
- Yeah.
-  You know?

1178
00:57:50,031 --> 00:57:51,728
I played soccer.

1179
00:57:51,902 --> 00:57:54,209
Oh, sorry, I'm saying
that wrong. Football.

1180
00:57:54,383 --> 00:57:56,777
I almost got killed
by a chicken, man,

1181
00:57:56,951 --> 00:57:59,170
and I trimmed
your hedges for you.

1182
00:57:59,344 --> 00:58:01,825
And I showed you respect
by asking for Claudia's hand
in marriage.

1183
00:58:01,999 --> 00:58:03,174
- That was out of respect.

1184
00:58:05,786 --> 00:58:07,788
Yet you show absolutely none
to your own daughter,

1185
00:58:07,962 --> 00:58:10,225
but this isn't
or shouldn't even be
about me.

1186
00:58:10,399 --> 00:58:12,880
It should be about her.

1187
00:58:13,054 --> 00:58:16,492
If you truly loved her,

1188
00:58:16,666 --> 00:58:18,276
you wouldn't treat her
this way.

1189
00:58:18,450 --> 00:58:20,888
-  <i>A ver...</i>

1190
00:58:21,062 --> 00:58:25,457
Excuse me.
<i>A ver,</i> he-- um--

1191
00:58:25,632 --> 00:58:27,155
he asked you
for Claudia's hand
in marriage

1192
00:58:27,329 --> 00:58:28,809
and you didn't tell me?
You didn't te-- I mean,

1193
00:58:28,983 --> 00:58:31,768
maybe he got a concussion, no?

1194
00:58:31,942 --> 00:58:33,814
Did he get a concussion
from the ball or what?

1195
00:58:38,122 --> 00:58:39,384
Oh, my love.

1196
00:58:39,559 --> 00:58:41,212
Is it normal to, uh--

1197
00:58:41,386 --> 00:58:43,084
to not be able to breathe
properly right now?

1198
00:58:43,258 --> 00:58:46,304
Oh, my God!
You look faint.

1199
00:58:46,478 --> 00:58:48,742
Are you pregnant?
Let's see...

1200
00:58:50,091 --> 00:58:51,788
Okay, okay, this is
a season to be merry,

1201
00:58:51,962 --> 00:58:53,834
- not to get married.
- Happy holidays.

1202
00:58:55,313 --> 00:58:57,446
W-- what, hey.
Don't leave.

1203
00:58:57,620 --> 00:58:59,535
Don't leave until we open
these goddamn presents.

1204
00:58:59,709 --> 00:59:01,276
Wow, look at you!

1205
00:59:01,450 --> 00:59:03,234
Well, that's it.

1206
00:59:03,408 --> 00:59:05,585
You got the party
you wanted, no?

1207
00:59:05,759 --> 00:59:07,761
Great party!
Super fun!

1208
00:59:09,414 --> 00:59:11,634
I hope you're proud
of yourself, eh?

1209
00:59:11,808 --> 00:59:15,899
You completely
messed up this time,
Benicio! Completely!

1210
00:59:23,428 --> 00:59:24,952
Damn, <i>vatos!</i>

1211
00:59:25,126 --> 00:59:27,650
The-the-the-there goes
the n-the-n-n-neighborhood.

1212
00:59:27,824 --> 00:59:29,826
You're the wrong guy to be
saying that, <i>ese.</i>

1213
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,088
No, really, <i>ese.</i>

1214
00:59:31,262 --> 00:59:32,568
There goes the neighborhood.

1215
00:59:33,830 --> 00:59:35,484
Why they look all sad?

1216
00:59:35,658 --> 00:59:37,399
Because the party wack, fool.
We weren't invited.

1217
00:59:37,573 --> 00:59:39,749
- I would've gone. Shh.
- That's right, <i>ese.</i>

1218
00:59:39,923 --> 00:59:41,272
Wait, wait,
where are you going?

1219
00:59:41,446 --> 00:59:42,926
Guys, don't go.
The party--

1220
00:59:43,100 --> 00:59:44,928
Why are they leaving?

1221
00:59:45,102 --> 00:59:46,495
I don't know!
The party's gonna be great!

1222
00:59:46,669 --> 00:59:47,714
Where are you going?

1223
01:00:13,043 --> 01:00:14,131
Babe...

1224
01:00:15,263 --> 01:00:16,786
your father doesn't like me.

1225
01:00:17,787 --> 01:00:20,181
Because I'm, you know.

1226
01:00:20,355 --> 01:00:22,966
- I've ruined Christmas
for everyone.
- No, you didn't.

1227
01:00:23,140 --> 01:00:26,753
- Yes, I did.
- Babe, my family got
the best present this year,

1228
01:00:26,927 --> 01:00:28,711
and that's you
as my husband.

1229
01:00:28,885 --> 01:00:30,713
When I saw how close you were
to your family,

1230
01:00:30,887 --> 01:00:32,715
I knew I could never propose
without your father's
permission.

1231
01:00:32,889 --> 01:00:34,543
Look, my dad,

1232
01:00:34,717 --> 01:00:37,415
he was just surprised by you,
that's all, okay?

1233
01:00:37,589 --> 01:00:38,982
You know that's not all.
I mean, you--

1234
01:00:39,156 --> 01:00:40,767
you yourself said your father
liked surprises.

1235
01:00:40,941 --> 01:00:42,594
I don't even know
what he likes anymore.

1236
01:00:42,769 --> 01:00:44,422
Well, we know
he doesn't like gringos.

1237
01:00:46,598 --> 01:00:49,993
Babe, my father doesn't care
if you're white,
or red or green.

1238
01:00:50,167 --> 01:00:53,170
I'm sure he would mind
if I was green.

1239
01:00:59,350 --> 01:01:01,483
My father finds a reason
to not like someone

1240
01:01:01,657 --> 01:01:03,485
and then he just
sticks to it,

1241
01:01:03,659 --> 01:01:05,748
even if that's not
really the reason.

1242
01:01:05,922 --> 01:01:07,750
Just admit it.

1243
01:01:07,924 --> 01:01:10,535
This whole thing was
a huge mistake.

1244
01:01:10,710 --> 01:01:14,975
Well, what do you mean?
What thing? Like--

1245
01:01:15,149 --> 01:01:15,889
like us?

1246
01:01:16,063 --> 01:01:17,499
Your father, he--

1247
01:01:17,673 --> 01:01:19,283
he had different plans
for Christmas.

1248
01:01:19,457 --> 01:01:21,546
You know, probably had
different plans
for your life.

1249
01:01:21,721 --> 01:01:23,461
You know, I know how close
you are to your family

1250
01:01:23,635 --> 01:01:25,550
and that's why I wanted
to spend Christmas with them.

1251
01:01:25,725 --> 01:01:30,164
No, no, Leif.
Leif, please,
don't go.

1252
01:01:30,338 --> 01:01:32,253
Leif. Leif.

1253
01:01:32,427 --> 01:01:33,733
I'm sorry.

1254
01:02:04,285 --> 01:02:06,548
Hey, <i>perrito,</i>
stick around!

1255
01:02:06,722 --> 01:02:07,810
You guys can make
this work!

1256
01:02:07,984 --> 01:02:09,812
True love prevails, eh?

1257
01:02:15,252 --> 01:02:17,080
You think
I have a chance with her now?

1258
01:02:17,254 --> 01:02:18,603
Hey, you know what?

1259
01:02:18,778 --> 01:02:20,214
This for you, homie.

1260
01:02:24,566 --> 01:02:26,176
Gonna miss you
in the hood, <i>huero.</i>

1261
01:02:29,701 --> 01:02:31,138
Peace out, homie.

1262
01:02:32,530 --> 01:02:34,750
Man.

1263
01:02:34,924 --> 01:02:37,666
I actually liked
that fool, dog.

1264
01:02:50,287 --> 01:02:53,421
You know, any dad
would love to have

1265
01:02:53,595 --> 01:02:55,379
a son-in-law like Leif.

1266
01:02:57,425 --> 01:02:58,992
Even if he was green
like an alien.

1267
01:03:16,966 --> 01:03:21,405
Well, merry freakin'
Christmas to us, huh?

1268
01:03:49,216 --> 01:03:51,218
- Have a good one.
- Thank you.

1269
01:04:11,499 --> 01:04:13,240
Hi, <i>m'hija.</i>

1270
01:04:13,414 --> 01:04:15,677
Your presents
are out there
waiting for you.

1271
01:04:15,851 --> 01:04:17,505
I mean, we could o--

1272
01:04:17,679 --> 01:04:19,463
we could open them all together,

1273
01:04:19,637 --> 01:04:20,987
like we used to do
when you were
a little girl.

1274
01:04:21,161 --> 01:04:23,728
I'm not a little girl
anymore, Dad,

1275
01:04:23,903 --> 01:04:25,643
whether you wanna
accept it or not.

1276
01:04:25,817 --> 01:04:27,689
Okay.

1277
01:04:27,863 --> 01:04:29,560
That little girl
in those pictures
is my daughter.

1278
01:04:29,734 --> 01:04:32,259
No, no, Dad.
I'm your daughter, okay?

1279
01:04:32,433 --> 01:04:34,304
<i>Aquí mismo, eh?</i>
Life-sized.

1280
01:04:34,478 --> 01:04:38,047
Not everything
is about you.

1281
01:04:38,221 --> 01:04:39,701
You know, why--

1282
01:04:41,442 --> 01:04:45,141
Why can't it be a boy
from the neighborhood
like Javier?

1283
01:04:45,315 --> 01:04:47,013
I mean, he's handsome.
He's smart.

1284
01:04:47,187 --> 01:04:48,971
He's got a good job.
He loves his mom,

1285
01:04:49,145 --> 01:04:50,581
- and goes to church
every Sun--
- And is gay.

1286
01:04:52,366 --> 01:04:54,063
He's gay?
What do you mean, he's gay?

1287
01:04:54,237 --> 01:04:56,848
Yeah, Dad,
that's the thing.

1288
01:04:57,023 --> 01:04:58,415
Whether you know it
or not, eh?

1289
01:05:00,461 --> 01:05:04,508
I should've known
because he would dance
without music, and not...

1290
01:05:04,682 --> 01:05:06,032
Man, should've seen it.

1291
01:05:06,206 --> 01:05:08,338
<i>Aparte que</i> even
if he wasn't, I wa--

1292
01:05:08,512 --> 01:05:10,950
that's not who I
fell in love with.

1293
01:05:11,124 --> 01:05:12,603
And you should be able
to understand that

1294
01:05:12,777 --> 01:05:14,475
because I make
my own decisions.

1295
01:05:16,303 --> 01:05:19,262
And now you won't even get
the chance to get to know him.

1296
01:05:22,526 --> 01:05:24,311
You broke his heart
and mine.

1297
01:05:24,485 --> 01:05:27,836
No, don't say that.
Don't say that.

1298
01:05:29,925 --> 01:05:32,362
He had nothing
growing up, eh?

1299
01:05:32,536 --> 01:05:34,321
His parents were poor.

1300
01:05:35,322 --> 01:05:37,715
He had to wash dishes,

1301
01:05:37,889 --> 01:05:40,066
mow lawns, park cars.

1302
01:05:42,938 --> 01:05:45,549
He worked hard for everything
that he had,

1303
01:05:45,723 --> 01:05:48,422
just like you did.

1304
01:05:55,646 --> 01:05:59,999
- What's that?
And you know what?

1305
01:06:00,173 --> 01:06:02,566
He reminded me
a lot of you.

1306
01:06:11,140 --> 01:06:14,796
No, no. No, no, no,
no, no, no.

1307
01:06:20,019 --> 01:06:24,632
That kid wasn't that bad
after all, wasn't he?

1308
01:06:29,941 --> 01:06:31,378
On Christmas morning...

1309
01:06:33,989 --> 01:06:36,209
I wanted a bike like all
the other little kids.

1310
01:06:37,645 --> 01:06:40,822
And when I came down
to open my presents...

1311
01:06:40,996 --> 01:06:42,476
- Mm-hmm.
- ...bike wasn't there.

1312
01:06:42,650 --> 01:06:45,827
My dad got me
a pair of handlebars

1313
01:06:46,001 --> 01:06:48,308
and then he told me
that one day, you know,

1314
01:06:48,482 --> 01:06:49,744
he'd get me
the rest of the bike

1315
01:06:49,918 --> 01:06:51,746
that I could put
the handlebars on.

1316
01:06:55,010 --> 01:06:56,838
And he promised me
training wheels.

1317
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:00,537
And he never got me
the training wheels.

1318
01:07:00,711 --> 01:07:03,801
My poor dad,
he worked so hard.

1319
01:07:03,975 --> 01:07:06,413
Never got anywhere.

1320
01:07:06,587 --> 01:07:08,676
And one of the last things
that he told me

1321
01:07:08,850 --> 01:07:11,983
was that Christmas was
for family.

1322
01:07:12,158 --> 01:07:14,725
And that's all I wanted to do,
was have a nice Christmas

1323
01:07:14,899 --> 01:07:16,249
like the ones
we used to have in Mexico.

1324
01:07:16,423 --> 01:07:18,164
- Ay.
- With the family

1325
01:07:18,338 --> 01:07:22,342
and...
training wheels.

1326
01:07:25,258 --> 01:07:28,087
How'd he know?
How'd he-- how did he know?

1327
01:07:29,784 --> 01:07:31,655
Well, because I--

1328
01:07:31,829 --> 01:07:34,832
one of these days
that you went to work

1329
01:07:35,006 --> 01:07:37,487
I took them shopping...

1330
01:07:37,661 --> 01:07:40,011
Santa style. Yeah.

1331
01:07:44,059 --> 01:07:48,063
But how did he find
the exact ones?

1332
01:07:49,586 --> 01:07:53,895
We went to Olvera Street.
Mm-hmm.

1333
01:07:54,069 --> 01:07:55,244
And you should've
seen him, eh?

1334
01:07:55,418 --> 01:07:57,551
Ooh, that kid?

1335
01:07:57,725 --> 01:08:02,947
He wouldn't stop
until he found them. Yeah.

1336
01:08:03,122 --> 01:08:05,907
Just because he wanted
to make you smile.

1337
01:08:06,081 --> 01:08:07,735
Baby...

1338
01:08:10,303 --> 01:08:13,958
You know what you gotta do,
<i>amor,</i> right?

1339
01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:16,309
You got your training wheels.

1340
01:08:18,311 --> 01:08:21,401
Now go out there
and be a father to her.

1341
01:08:30,192 --> 01:08:31,454
I wanted to tell you

1342
01:08:31,628 --> 01:08:34,153
that--

1343
01:08:34,327 --> 01:08:35,806
that I was wrong.

1344
01:08:36,851 --> 01:08:38,418
In the business that I'm in,

1345
01:08:38,592 --> 01:08:40,420
you see a lot
of beautiful flowers.

1346
01:08:40,594 --> 01:08:44,859
Like, s-some are very rare
and delicate roses,

1347
01:08:45,033 --> 01:08:46,643
some of them I planted
with my hands.

1348
01:08:48,602 --> 01:08:52,301
And it's my job to protect
the roses from the weeds.

1349
01:08:52,475 --> 01:08:55,435
I thought
that it was my job

1350
01:08:55,609 --> 01:08:58,612
to protect the rose
from being hurt.

1351
01:08:58,786 --> 01:09:03,269
I thought that Leif
was another weed

1352
01:09:03,443 --> 01:09:06,968
that was trying
to keep my rose
from blooming,

1353
01:09:07,142 --> 01:09:08,535
but I realize now
that my rose

1354
01:09:08,709 --> 01:09:12,321
has bloomed
into this incredible woman

1355
01:09:12,495 --> 01:09:16,151
and that Leif is now
your protector and not me.

1356
01:09:16,325 --> 01:09:17,500
And that, you know,

1357
01:09:17,674 --> 01:09:21,112
also papi wants
to say is that--

1358
01:09:21,287 --> 01:09:23,811
uh-- that he--

1359
01:09:23,985 --> 01:09:27,597
he was--
I mean, not on purpose.

1360
01:09:27,771 --> 01:09:31,122
He was the weed.
He's been the weed.

1361
01:09:31,297 --> 01:09:35,953
And that you
and Leif are roses.

1362
01:09:36,127 --> 01:09:38,521
- Yeah, roses.
- Yeah.

1363
01:09:38,695 --> 01:09:40,480
And that we, as a family,

1364
01:09:40,654 --> 01:09:42,395
because we are a family,
that's what we do,

1365
01:09:42,569 --> 01:09:44,658
we have to protect--
<i>somos un</i> garden.

1366
01:09:44,832 --> 01:09:47,530
And we have to protect
the roses.

1367
01:09:47,704 --> 01:09:49,576
And-and that you know,
you make us so,

1368
01:09:49,750 --> 01:09:52,100
so proud every day,
<i>m'hijita.</i>

1369
01:09:53,580 --> 01:09:55,277
Including Leaf,

1370
01:09:55,451 --> 01:09:58,367
because he's the coolest
and the sweetest boyfriend

1371
01:09:58,541 --> 01:10:00,369
in all of East-- East L.A.

1372
01:10:00,543 --> 01:10:02,850
Leif, <i>pero</i> mm. Mm-hmm.

1373
01:10:03,024 --> 01:10:04,895
We got a plane
to stop!

1374
01:10:05,069 --> 01:10:06,462
But, whoa, Clau,

1375
01:10:06,636 --> 01:10:08,421
you cannot get him back
dressed like that.

1376
01:10:08,595 --> 01:10:10,510
-  No, that's true.
- Okay. [laughs] Okay.

1377
01:10:10,684 --> 01:10:12,773
Okay, then let's go!
-  Let's go!

1378
01:10:12,947 --> 01:10:14,253
Come on!

1379
01:10:16,820 --> 01:10:17,734
- Hurry up!

1380
01:10:21,303 --> 01:10:22,783
Come on,
let's go! Drive!

1381
01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:24,219
Oh, man, what the hell?

1382
01:10:24,393 --> 01:10:25,742
What?

1383
01:10:25,916 --> 01:10:27,614
- I don't have the keys!
- You had them!

1384
01:10:27,788 --> 01:10:29,311
- Damn it!
- I don't have them!
You always--

1385
01:10:29,485 --> 01:10:30,878
Baby, you always
do the same!

1386
01:10:31,052 --> 01:10:32,401
What about the <i>vatos?</i>

1387
01:10:32,575 --> 01:10:34,621
Yes, there they are!

1388
01:10:34,795 --> 01:10:36,275
Oh, my God!

1389
01:10:37,406 --> 01:10:39,365
- Come on!
- I'm coming!

1390
01:10:39,539 --> 01:10:42,324
-  Hey! Cooper!
We need a ride!
- I got you.

1391
01:10:42,498 --> 01:10:44,065
-  Let's go!
-  To the airport.

1392
01:10:44,239 --> 01:10:47,286
Got you, fools,
I got you, G.
I got you.

1393
01:10:47,460 --> 01:10:49,375
Let's go, ladies.
You guys will fit.

1394
01:10:49,549 --> 01:10:52,378
Hey, no tips.
I'll accept a kiss.

1395
01:10:52,552 --> 01:10:53,901
Let's go. Come on!

1396
01:10:54,075 --> 01:10:55,772
- <i>Amárrense!</i> Here we go!
- Hit it!

1397
01:10:57,774 --> 01:11:00,211
Woo! [laughs] I want
one of these bedroom.

1398
01:11:00,386 --> 01:11:02,257
Make 'em bounce.
Make 'em bounce
higher, homie.

1399
01:11:02,431 --> 01:11:04,259
Make 'em bounce.

1400
01:11:04,433 --> 01:11:06,000
This is really cool.

1401
01:11:06,174 --> 01:11:08,698
Holy crap!

1402
01:11:08,872 --> 01:11:10,265
I popped my tire, fool.

1403
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:12,833
-  Ay, what?
- My bad. Sorry.

1404
01:11:13,007 --> 01:11:14,269
- Now what?
- Sorry, guys.

1405
01:11:14,443 --> 01:11:15,575
Sorry, man.

1406
01:11:15,749 --> 01:11:17,359
- Yo!

1407
01:11:17,533 --> 01:11:18,926
Y'all need a ride?

1408
01:11:19,100 --> 01:11:21,232
-  Tell Javier yes!

1409
01:11:23,496 --> 01:11:25,498
Uh, take it back to the bottom
of the ocean where it belongs.

1410
01:11:25,672 --> 01:11:27,543
We'll go steal a car.
We'll meet you there, homie.

1411
01:11:29,545 --> 01:11:31,939
Your little homie
learned that in prison.

1412
01:11:50,610 --> 01:11:52,351
Gate?

1413
01:11:58,748 --> 01:12:01,272
-  Oh, okay. Okay.
-  Sorry!

1414
01:12:01,447 --> 01:12:04,275
Okay. <i>Ay, mira,</i>
I think it's over there.

1415
01:12:04,450 --> 01:12:05,668
Come on, let's go!

1416
01:12:10,891 --> 01:12:12,414
I have to stop
my son-in-law from getting--

1417
01:12:12,588 --> 01:12:14,285
Well, not yet,
but getting on the plane.

1418
01:12:14,460 --> 01:12:16,375
I mean, he's my fiance.
I mean, not really.

1419
01:12:16,549 --> 01:12:18,420
It's not like he proposed to me.
I mean, he did propose,

1420
01:12:18,594 --> 01:12:20,422
- <i>pero mi papá nunca</i> told me.
- You have your boarding passes?

1421
01:12:20,596 --> 01:12:22,772
You can just
pat me down so I can go in.

1422
01:12:22,946 --> 01:12:24,687
I'll tell him
all about it.

1423
01:12:24,861 --> 01:12:26,602
Carmela, no. Wait.
- Ma'am, don't touch me.

1424
01:12:26,776 --> 01:12:28,648
Please, sir.
It is very important.

1425
01:12:28,822 --> 01:12:30,606
My son-in-law,
he cannot go on the plane.

1426
01:12:30,780 --> 01:12:32,391
- Mm-hmm.
- So, can you help us with that?

1427
01:12:32,565 --> 01:12:34,218
The family's
future is in danger.

1428
01:12:34,393 --> 01:12:36,395
- Did she say dangerous?
-  No, no, no, no.

1429
01:12:38,179 --> 01:12:40,137
You know, can you guys
please step aside?

1430
01:12:40,311 --> 01:12:42,139
Can you please--
Please, guys, step aside,
ma'am.

1431
01:12:42,313 --> 01:12:44,228
Seriously,
these gringos
are so inflexible.

1432
01:12:44,403 --> 01:12:46,579
Please, ma'am!
Show some respect.

1433
01:12:46,753 --> 01:12:48,058
I'm just trying
to do my job.

1434
01:12:48,232 --> 01:12:50,409
Oh, no, no, no.

1435
01:12:50,583 --> 01:12:53,412
I was talking
about the other gringos.
It's all good.

1436
01:12:53,586 --> 01:12:56,197
Wow, you are handsome!

1437
01:12:59,505 --> 01:13:01,942
- <i>Ahí está.</i> No! No!
-  Wait, wait!
Where are you going?

1438
01:13:02,116 --> 01:13:04,118
Hey, where are you going?!
- Brother-in-law!

1439
01:13:05,815 --> 01:13:07,164
-  Oh!

1440
01:13:07,338 --> 01:13:08,862
Whoa.

1441
01:13:09,036 --> 01:13:10,385
- Damnit.
- Hey, man,
I'm just trying to keep

1442
01:13:10,559 --> 01:13:11,995
my future son-in-law
from leaving.

1443
01:13:12,169 --> 01:13:13,780
Can you please tell your dad
to stop doing that?

1444
01:13:13,954 --> 01:13:15,782
It's the second time.

1445
01:13:15,956 --> 01:13:17,871
I was center cornerback.
East LA had
the Fighting Fails. Ow.

1446
01:13:18,045 --> 01:13:21,614
Does this mean I can have
Claudia's hand in marriage?

1447
01:13:21,788 --> 01:13:24,443
Think I'm getting
arrested for nothing?

1448
01:13:24,617 --> 01:13:27,010
Keep your hands
where I can see 'em!

1449
01:13:27,184 --> 01:13:29,622
- Baby...
-  Aw.

1450
01:13:29,796 --> 01:13:32,189
- Will you marry me?

1451
01:13:32,363 --> 01:13:35,279
Yes... [laughing] yes,
a million times, yes.

1452
01:13:37,412 --> 01:13:39,893
Ay, <i>bueno,</i>
I'll put it on myself.
It's okay.

1453
01:13:40,067 --> 01:13:42,025
Oh, fool.

1454
01:13:42,199 --> 01:13:43,810
I'm sorry.

1455
01:13:43,984 --> 01:13:45,551
You've got nothin'
to be sorry about.

1456
01:13:45,725 --> 01:13:47,770
No, man, I should've been
myself from the beginning.

1457
01:13:47,944 --> 01:13:49,468
You know,
I was such a poser.

1458
01:13:49,642 --> 01:13:50,947
I was pretending
to speak Spanish

1459
01:13:51,121 --> 01:13:53,863
and I ruined Christmas.

1460
01:13:54,037 --> 01:13:55,735
Are you kidding me, man?
You saved Christmas.

1461
01:13:55,909 --> 01:13:57,780
My daughter loves you.

1462
01:13:57,954 --> 01:13:59,565
You made my Christmas
the best ever.

1463
01:13:59,739 --> 01:14:01,392
Welcome to the family!
Merry Christmas.

1464
01:14:04,178 --> 01:14:05,745
<i>Ay, pero</i> where are you
taking him? <i>Epa!</i>
Where are you taking him?!

1465
01:14:05,919 --> 01:14:07,616
Hey, you should see
what we do for New Years.

1466
01:14:07,790 --> 01:14:09,139
- Hey, where y'all going?

1467
01:14:09,313 --> 01:14:10,358
I'ma go this way.
They got tamales,

1468
01:14:10,532 --> 01:14:12,273
so I'm gonna go eat.
I'm out.

1469
01:14:12,447 --> 01:14:13,535
- I'm gonna go with Leaf.
- I think his name is Leif.

1470
01:14:13,709 --> 01:14:14,884
- No, it's Leaf.
- No, it's Leif.

1471
01:14:15,058 --> 01:14:16,756
It doesn't matter, fool.
Let's go.

1472
01:14:40,431 --> 01:14:43,826
Leaf, right?
Is it Leaf or Leif?

1473
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,873
Leaf, he's a swell guy.

1474
01:14:52,531 --> 01:14:56,273
Yeah, yeah, a lot of people
will say Leaf when it's--

1475
01:14:56,447 --> 01:14:57,797
when it's Leif.

1476
01:14:57,971 --> 01:15:00,887
This family,
it's a taken a lot of,

1477
01:15:01,061 --> 01:15:02,410
ahem, a lot of correcting.

1478
01:15:07,894 --> 01:15:09,765
That makes a lot of sense.

1479
01:15:09,939 --> 01:15:14,161
They're-- they're, um,
like best friends.

1480
01:15:14,335 --> 01:15:17,338
- Whoa. Okay.

1481
01:15:17,512 --> 01:15:18,861
Look at him.

1482
01:15:19,035 --> 01:15:20,950
Thank you for being
such a good, um, friend.

1483
01:15:21,124 --> 01:15:24,475
I mean, his skin
is so perfect and--

1484
01:15:28,828 --> 01:15:31,439
That makes a lot of sense.

1485
01:15:31,613 --> 01:15:33,528
Does know Bennie
that we're here?

1486
01:15:33,702 --> 01:15:36,836
I just realized,
Bennie's house
is pretty nice.

1487
01:15:39,316 --> 01:15:40,535
Ay...

1488
01:15:42,363 --> 01:15:43,799
Did I leave the tag on?

1489
01:15:47,586 --> 01:15:51,328
The only thing that matters
in this world for a couple

1490
01:15:51,502 --> 01:15:54,331
is performance, you know...

1491
01:15:54,505 --> 01:15:57,683
and that kid looks
like he can perform.

1492
01:15:57,857 --> 01:16:01,948
He's about, what, 5'6", 5'7"?

1493
01:16:02,122 --> 01:16:05,560
I don't really see much there,
<i>pero</i> hey, he must be
a nice guy, right?

1494
01:16:11,087 --> 01:16:13,568
Maybe
they have their babies.

1495
01:16:15,918 --> 01:16:16,832
Well...

1496
01:16:18,486 --> 01:16:19,922
Okay, wait a second.

1497
01:16:20,096 --> 01:16:23,186
-  Maybe later?
- Yes, maybe later.

1498
01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:25,188
Babies... <i>no, espérame.</i>

1499
01:16:25,362 --> 01:16:28,061
Cut that out.
Cut that out.

1500
01:16:31,673 --> 01:16:33,414
- <i>¿Y tú?</i>
- What?

1501
01:16:33,588 --> 01:16:35,634
- You wanna marry me?
- That's Bennie's mom's, dog.

1502
01:16:35,808 --> 01:16:37,810
- Put that back.
- You're never gonna
get married, dog.

1503
01:16:37,984 --> 01:16:40,203
You know, maybe I should talk
to Leif about, like,

1504
01:16:40,377 --> 01:16:42,728
creating a video game
with the <i>vatos,</i> and maybe,
you know,

1505
01:16:42,902 --> 01:16:45,426
we can incorporate the car
and then-- and maybe
they can make some money

1506
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:48,429
and finally not be across
the street living in their car, right?

1507
01:16:55,436 --> 01:16:58,918
I was thinking a video game
based in East LA

1508
01:16:59,092 --> 01:17:01,007
would be ama-- would sell.
And they--

1509
01:17:01,181 --> 01:17:03,009
where they drive around

1510
01:17:03,183 --> 01:17:05,968
and maybe steal a car--
each other's cars,

1511
01:17:06,142 --> 01:17:09,232
Put in, like, good music.

1512
01:17:18,241 --> 01:17:22,768
Tootsie doesn't see color,

1513
01:17:22,942 --> 01:17:25,466
doesn't see race,

1514
01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:28,861
doesn't see if they have
fur or no fur,

1515
01:17:29,035 --> 01:17:31,211
<i>pero</i> she is kind of blind.

1516
01:17:39,872 --> 01:17:41,700
I'ma show up to the wedding,
and I'ma--

1517
01:17:41,874 --> 01:17:43,527
- I'm gonna wedding crash it.
- You can't do that, my boy.

1518
01:17:43,702 --> 01:17:45,660
You can't do that, my boy.
It's against the rules, my boy.

1519
01:17:45,834 --> 01:17:47,531
- Yeah, you gotta
respect love.
- You gotta respect--

1520
01:17:47,706 --> 01:17:49,316
- <i>Respeto,</i> homie.
- All right, I'll respect.

1521
01:17:49,490 --> 01:17:53,059
You gotta get her
before they get there.

1522
01:17:53,233 --> 01:17:55,409
Does that make any sense?
To, like, the chapel.

1523
01:17:55,583 --> 01:17:57,585
-  Hey, hey, hey, hey...

1524
01:18:06,812 --> 01:18:08,596
Take a picture!

1525
01:18:08,770 --> 01:18:09,597
Let's take a
picture of-- that's for you.

1526
01:18:09,771 --> 01:18:11,294
Photo, photo, photo.

1527
01:18:11,468 --> 01:18:13,732
- That's for us.
-  Photo! Photo!

1528
01:18:15,516 --> 01:18:16,996
<i>I guess I was wrong.</i>

1529
01:18:18,258 --> 01:18:22,610
<i>This was not the story
about how the gringo stole
my dad's Christmas...</i>

1530
01:18:22,784 --> 01:18:24,525
<i>but how my</i> gringuito

1531
01:18:24,699 --> 01:18:26,527
<i>saved our Christmas.</i>

1532
01:18:28,181 --> 01:18:29,356
Feliz Navidad a todos.

1533
01:18:29,530 --> 01:18:31,314
<i>Merry Christmas, everyone!</i>