1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,007 ♪ 2 00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,534 But I need you. 3 00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,710 I don't believe you. Prove it to me. 4 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,929 Please, I can't do this without you. 5 00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,975 What is the word on the street these days 6 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,933 about herringbone? 7 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,762 -Not now, Dad. -FRASIER: It's all right, all right. 8 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,678 I've got some options in the downstairs closet here. 9 00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,332 I can't do this alone. 10 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:31,074 So tell me, are you in or are you out? 11 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,509 Because if I walk out that door... 12 00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:34,686 Is houndstooth too whimsical? 13 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,038 Please, Dad. 14 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,693 Because if I walk out that door and you follow me, 15 00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,261 maybe... 16 00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,654 we'll start a movement. 17 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,355 I want to love it. I do. I-I do, we ju... I'm just... 18 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:54,793 -I'm not buying you in the role. -Oh, what do you know? You... 19 00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:56,926 You're judging me on an acting scale 20 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,884 of one to Backdraft. 21 00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,147 Backdraftis a cinematic masterpiece. 22 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,974 No, Backdraftis fire porn. 23 00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:04,715 Now, I know what you two are thinking: 24 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,068 "here comes the Harvard lecturer in his hackneyed tweed." 25 00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:12,333 No, but I was thinking, "How long is it gonna 26 00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,422 take my dad to mention he's teaching at Harvard?" 27 00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:16,511 Under a minute. It's impressive. 28 00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,818 So, just a bit longer than you actually attended Harvard? 29 00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,822 So, mock me if you will, but this is the beginning 30 00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,476 of a new academic era for me. 31 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,783 Frasier Crane is stepping into a world where he can 32 00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:30,742 -impart wisdom and influence young minds. -FREDDY: Okay, Dad, 33 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:33,354 no one loves hearing Frasier Crane talk about 34 00:01:33,396 --> 00:01:35,007 Frasier Crane more than I do, 35 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:37,532 -but Eve's got a big audition this week. -Mm-hmm. 36 00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:39,751 It's a play about a girl who works at a slaughterhouse 37 00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,884 and she convinces her coworkers to unionize 38 00:01:41,926 --> 00:01:45,192 through passion, grit and a push-up bra. 39 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:47,324 Well, if the dialogue I overheard was any indication, 40 00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,413 then the cows are the lucky ones. 41 00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,329 Dad, could you just... 42 00:01:52,372 --> 00:01:53,983 could you give us a little peace and quiet? 43 00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,680 Oh, I'm sorry, yes, if only Eve had a place 44 00:01:55,723 --> 00:01:57,291 where she could be on her own. 45 00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,293 Perhaps someplace that I've already paid for, 46 00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,121 just directly across the hall. 47 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,905 Oh, wait, 48 00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:04,472 aren't you late for the boarding school where you teach 49 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:07,083 unruly adolescents the true meaning of poetry? 50 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,780 [knocking] 51 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,696 I'll have you know tweed's sophisticated wool 52 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:14,699 and sensible elbow patches are emblematic 53 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:17,049 of the intellect and compassion it takes 54 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,834 to inspire young minds. 55 00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,141 Are we twinsies? 56 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,621 I'll change. 57 00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,017 Don't you have class right now? 58 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:29,671 I'm here to take your father under my wing 59 00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:31,586 and help him navigate his first week at Harvard. 60 00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:34,023 I'll be the Sancho Panza to your Quixote. 61 00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,329 All right, David. 62 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,591 You know, I know my way around Harvard. 63 00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:39,246 After all, I did go to school there. 64 00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:41,204 Wait, you did? 'Cause I don't think 65 00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,727 you've ever told us that story before. 66 00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,991 See, now, that's good acting. 67 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,828 Well, if it isn't world-renowned psychiatrist, TV personality 68 00:02:56,872 --> 00:03:00,528 and newly minted Harvard educator Dr. Frasier Crane. 69 00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:03,705 Please, we're friends. Just call me world-renowned. 70 00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,577 And to what do I owe the pleasure? 71 00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:07,839 Oh, as I told Alan, I came here 72 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,319 to christen my newest ship. 73 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,365 And I thought that meant there'd be champagne. 74 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,497 So I brought you a cappuccino. 75 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,891 You can imagine my disappointment. 76 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,371 Welcome aboard. 77 00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,024 It's been years since I've had anyone here 78 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:22,114 with any passion, excitement or even vital signs. 79 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,293 -I-I also brought you this. -Oh. 80 00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:29,992 Oh, a replica "thinking cap" from my old talk show. 81 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:32,864 How fun. 82 00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:35,692 Oh, he students will go nuts if you break it out for them. 83 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:38,000 Yes, well, you know, I've put all that behind me. 84 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,610 Gone are the days when I would dole out 85 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,438 ridiculous advice to my TV audience. 86 00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:44,311 Sure, sure. You-you don't have to use it. 87 00:03:44,353 --> 00:03:46,356 It's custom made, overnight shipping. 88 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,706 The point is, we're so glad you're here. 89 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,055 Glad? Thanks to your popularity, 90 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,928 hardly any students have signed up for my class, 91 00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:54,277 so I'm ecstatic. 92 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,544 [student whoops] 93 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,374 Look around, uncle. 94 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,550 You are the rosy-cheeked debutante at 95 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:07,899 this ball of the brains. 96 00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,292 I am the strapping, young cadet... 97 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,337 -Go sit down, David. -Okay. 98 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:16,995 Welcome to a History of Psychology. 99 00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,519 In this semester, I will be your Virgil, leading you 100 00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,522 not through the circles of Hades but through the... 101 00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,524 Excuse me. I have a question. 102 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,177 Oh, well, I can ramp back into 103 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,092 my Virgil speech in a moment. Uh, yes? 104 00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:30,139 I think my boyfriend might be cheating on me. 105 00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:32,183 Should I confront him? 106 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,579 Well, I... I am sorry to hear that, 107 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,755 but, uh, this is not my old TV show. 108 00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:40,976 I'm not giving out any personal advice. Uh... Yes? 109 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,457 I have your first call-in question. 110 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,024 She's from Phoenix, Arizona. She's my mom. 111 00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,026 She wants to know if you're as handsome in person 112 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,637 as you were on TV. 113 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,595 [chuckling] 114 00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:54,163 That is not for me to say. 115 00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,948 Peoplemagazine said, "Yes, absolutely," but... 116 00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,341 we're getting off track. Now, now, 117 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,517 to our-our first lecture. 118 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,345 What made 119 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:05,348 Wilhelm Maximilian Wundt tick? 120 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,437 Hmm? Our story begins 121 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,439 -in Mannheim, Germany. -DAVID: Uncle, 122 00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,354 this guy's not taking notes. He's Googling you. 123 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:14,139 Stop searching "Frasier Crane height." 124 00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:15,924 It's all right, David. 125 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,317 No, it's not okay. 126 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,579 Why does he need to know your net worth? 127 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,276 A man's true value has always be... 128 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,365 Oh, my God, uncle, you're like a Rockefeller. 129 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,236 [students murmuring] 130 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,239 Kind of makes your Christmas gifts seem ungenerous. 131 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,678 All right, all right. That's enough, that's enough! 132 00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,376 I'd like to make one thing absolutely clear. 133 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,987 This class will have nothing to do with my career, 134 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,120 my public life or my old TV show. 135 00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:41,515 I am here to lead you on a challenging academic odyssey. 136 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,692 And if you are here for any other reason... 137 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,782 ...then I invite you to leave now. 138 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,189 Great. 139 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,585 Well, we've 140 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,544 separated the wheat from the chaff. 141 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,328 Now... 142 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,331 ...are there any serious questions? 143 00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,640 I'm six foot, one. 144 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,383 Tried to finish the lecture. 145 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,167 As I continued to talk, their eyes 146 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,517 just started to glaze over as if they weren't even... 147 00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,480 Alan. 148 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,439 -Alan! -Mm? 149 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,267 Yeah, I'm glad it went so smoothly. 150 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:41,009 -Another triumph. -No. No. 151 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:42,576 I failed. 152 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,707 I wanted them to take me seriously as a professor, 153 00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:47,450 and they rejected me, completely. 154 00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:51,280 If you would just stop trying, I promise you will stop failing. 155 00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:56,590 Dr. Crane, I just left the registrar's office. 156 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,592 Eight students withdrew from your class today. 157 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,158 Olivia, please. 158 00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,943 Frasier's taking this hard enough as it is. 159 00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,597 Most of them then signed up for your class. 160 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,425 Damn it, Frasier, get your act together! 161 00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,253 OLIVIA: What happened? 162 00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,864 I thought you'd be natural at teaching. 163 00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,170 You have decades of experience in TV and radio. 164 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:14,042 But that's not teaching. That's entertainment. 165 00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,522 I'm not a dancing bear. 166 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,089 Oh, no one thinks of you as a dancing bear. 167 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:20,483 But universities have changed since you were a student here 168 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:23,138 for... thir... twe... for... several decades ago. 169 00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:27,621 Students today need a little showmanship. 170 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,057 That's where you come in. 171 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:32,234 You make the hard ideas go down easy. 172 00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:33,801 [chuckles] 173 00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:36,368 So, I'm the cheese wrapped around a dog's pill? 174 00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,632 Yes, you get it. 175 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,460 Now, if you could just see 176 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,985 how enthusiastically the students would react 177 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,291 to just a little glimpse of the old you, 178 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,902 I know you would change your mind. 179 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,120 I'm not changing my mind. 180 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,341 Okay, but we still need you to succeed. 181 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,038 We are paying you a lot of money. 182 00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,431 You're paying me almost nothing. 183 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,477 Which is a lot of money in academia. 184 00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,523 It is all about the numbers. 185 00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,090 And if you do not bring more students into this department, 186 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,526 well, then the numbers are not good. 187 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,962 What do you suggest? 188 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,270 Uh, well, this is a new career for you, 189 00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,490 so maybe you would benefit from some seasoned help. 190 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,667 -That sounds reasonable. -That's perceptive. -Mm-hmm. 191 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,538 So, until you get your sea legs, 192 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,192 why don't you co-teach your classes with Alan? 193 00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,846 -Well, that's ridiculous. -What is wrong with you? 194 00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,804 My goodness. 195 00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,111 Alan is-is lazy. 196 00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:24,982 He doesn't even finish anything he starts. 197 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,854 And Frasier is... 198 00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,159 Eh. 199 00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:36,167 What do you say, Alan-- is it worth a try? 200 00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,821 Well... 201 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:40,302 Please, Alan, help me help Dr. Crane help 202 00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:43,000 the next generation of people who will help other people. 203 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,656 Sounds like a Ponzi scheme of benevolence. 204 00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,180 Are you really saying 205 00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:51,792 I should take on extra work without extra pay? 206 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,490 I am saying that you should help your oldest and dearest friend. 207 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,145 Without extra pay. 208 00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,757 You can bring your cat back to the office. 209 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:03,891 Fine, I'll do it. 210 00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,545 Anything for a dear friend. 211 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,808 You're talking about your cat? 212 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,114 Well, who do you think I was talking about? 213 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,295 You in a hurry to get home to get your cat? 214 00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,559 No, no, that would be silly. 215 00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:20,734 Frasier Crane, 216 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,649 meet Margaret Scratcher. 217 00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,785 Now, if I may, 218 00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:31,614 what's so offensive about being a dancing bear? 219 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:35,183 You're a natural showman. Why not use that talent? 220 00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,401 I don't want to be a showman anymore. 221 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,273 I want to make an impact. 222 00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,188 Well, didn't you make an impact on your television program? 223 00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,755 Well, it's debatable. 224 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,670 But then again, you know that. You saw it. 225 00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,239 You did see my show, didn't you? 226 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:49,632 Of course. 227 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,547 B... Bits and pieces. 228 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,376 I may have missed it. 229 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,465 It was on for 14 years. 230 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,642 Here, let me show you. 231 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,778 Perhaps the real reason you have not yet asked 232 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,607 your daughter to forgive you 233 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,044 is that you have not yet forgiven yourself. 234 00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,700 [crying] 235 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:25,189 Well, this is all rather insightful. 236 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,105 That was season one. 237 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,629 Here's a clip from... 238 00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,806 ...season 13. 239 00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,546 [lively music playing] 240 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:35,678 ♪ Dr. Crane♪ 241 00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:38,072 ♪ He can fix your brain♪ 242 00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:41,075 ♪ Keep from going insane and take away the pain♪ 243 00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,555 ♪ Yeah, it's Doctor, Dr. Crane.♪ 244 00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,601 ANNOUNCER: Oh, Doctor! 245 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,038 [whooping, cheering] 246 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,786 [laughing] 247 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,181 How about that audience, huh, Gilbert? 248 00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,662 Lovely, lovely, lovely! 249 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,707 Welcome! 250 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,753 Today on our show, I will be delving 251 00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:10,147 into the mind of the world's smartest pig, 252 00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:12,062 Albert Swinestein! 253 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,718 Then, we'll unveil this week's 254 00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:19,026 -Frasier's Fra-vorite Things. -[laughs] 255 00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:20,244 [applause, whooping] 256 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,246 And Tom Arnold is here! 257 00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:23,726 [audience whooping] 258 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,817 But first, let's put on... 259 00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:30,820 ALL: ...our thinking caps. 260 00:11:30,864 --> 00:11:32,474 [laughter] 261 00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:39,611 I see now why you may have felt 262 00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,831 that you'd lost your way. 263 00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,354 At one point... 264 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:45,617 ...I hawked a tinted moisturizer 265 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:48,272 with the tagline... 266 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:49,970 "I'm glistening." 267 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,148 And that's why I quit. 268 00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:57,238 My show had devolved into meaningless fluff. 269 00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,327 My greatest nightmare is that 270 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,242 that will be my whole legacy. 271 00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:04,767 Are you sure this isn't less about how people will see you 272 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,030 and more about how you see yourself? 273 00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,293 Don't you diagnose me with your projection. 274 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,252 It's merely a suggestion of projection. 275 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,471 I have an objection to your projection suggestion. 276 00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:16,039 And I question your rejection of my projection suggestion. 277 00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:20,652 But if you're intent on avoiding the razzle-dazzle, 278 00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:23,351 then we'll have to win over your class with substance. 279 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:26,876 And I think I know the very substance we should start with. 280 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,226 Substance-- you're talking about a drink, aren't you? 281 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,359 Oh, you mean a book. 282 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,578 How about that? 283 00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,319 Ah, I was right the first time. 284 00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:43,110 Oh, hi. How are you feeling about your second class? 285 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,068 Better. Alan and I dug deep last night 286 00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,853 and came up with some things I think you're really... 287 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:50,030 That's fantastic. Uh, so I sent Alan in already 288 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,901 and, you know, I hope it's okay-- 289 00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,555 I futzed with the lighting a little bit 290 00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,600 and I made a few other little changes 291 00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,515 just to help you feel more at home. You'll barely notice. 292 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,169 Thank you. You're really taking good care of me. 293 00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:01,171 Anything for my "fra-vorite" teacher. 294 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,827 Did you say "fra-vorite"? 295 00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,481 No. 296 00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,788 Oh, just one more thing. 297 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,833 These doors are broken or whatever. 298 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:14,358 If you wouldn't mind using the, uh, top entrance, 299 00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:15,795 just going around? 300 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,231 Okay. 301 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,281 [lively music plays on speakers] 302 00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:27,415 ♪ Dr. Crane, he can fix your brain♪ 303 00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,634 ♪ Keep from going insane...♪ 304 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,593 It's my greatest nightmare! 305 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,464 ANNOUNCER: Oh, Doctor! 306 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,037 Dr. Crane, where are you going? You have class. 307 00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,560 Well, that makes one of us. 308 00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,390 You tricked me. 309 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:49,002 No. No, no, no, no. I tricked you and Alan. 310 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:52,005 He had no idea I had that planned. 311 00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,658 And I was hoping that once you saw how excited 312 00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:56,009 the students were, you would embrace the old you. 313 00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:58,489 You want the dancing bear, don't you? 314 00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:01,144 No. What I want is a healthy learning environment 315 00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:02,667 -for my... -You want the dancing bear! 316 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,278 Of course I want the dancing bear! 317 00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,454 Why do you think I hired you-- 318 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,325 for your negligible teaching experience? 319 00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,719 For the zero academic papers that you've written? 320 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,242 No. 321 00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,201 Because you are a big, beautiful dancing bear 322 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:17,421 in a pink tutu that the students will actually pay attention to. 323 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,337 That is why you are here. 324 00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:22,687 So dance, bear, dance! 325 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,734 I refuse! 326 00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:27,388 I walked out of this job once before and I'll do it again! 327 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,390 Oh, no, Dr. Crane, please, please. 328 00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:30,870 I put myself on the line for you. 329 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,697 The numbers are bad. If you quit now, 330 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,482 well, the numbers-- they're going to get worse. 331 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:36,658 What are these numbers you keep talking about? 332 00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,182 They're numbers. And they're bad. 333 00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:41,141 This is Harvard! 334 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,230 -For God's sake, Harvard's endowment alone -You see, the big numbers 335 00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:44,709 -could power a small country -are little and the little numbers 336 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:45,754 -for centuries! -should be big... Okay, 337 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:46,668 it's not about the numbers, 338 00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:47,364 it's about my sister! 339 00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,236 All my life, 340 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,368 she's been just a little more popular, 341 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,804 a little more successful. 342 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:56,069 I don't know if-if you've ever dealt 343 00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:58,245 with a-a sibling with whom you have 344 00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:01,509 a very intense and competitive relationship. 345 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,169 I am familiar with the dynamic. 346 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,172 I need your star power 347 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,826 to finally beat my sister. 348 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:17,655 She just made provost at Yale. Yale, 349 00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:20,920 -Frasier, Yale! -Don't you "Yale" at me! 350 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,056 Okay, one more time. 351 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,232 Can we take a break? I'm exhausted. 352 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:30,973 The last time I pushed myself this hard, 353 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,670 John popped out. 354 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,672 You got to use it, okay? 355 00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,152 Y-You're supposed to be at the end of your rope 356 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,458 in this scene, right? You got-you got to sound 357 00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:39,895 beaten down, pathetic, 358 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,636 self-pitying, like no one 359 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:44,334 on the face of the planet believes in you. 360 00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:45,683 Do you have an example? 361 00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,738 Am I... 362 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:59,480 destined to be a failure? 363 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,049 One by one, they've attached strings 364 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,790 to my wrists and to my knees. 365 00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:08,402 I've been turned into a puppet. 366 00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,013 To dance at their behest. 367 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,754 And once I've outlived my usefulness, 368 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,538 it's back in the box I go. 369 00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:20,022 Yeah. So, that, but likable. 370 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:21,371 I don't know. I feel like the energy 371 00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,765 needs to be quirky and angrier. 372 00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:25,027 What? What would that even look like? 373 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:28,596 My ire is peaked. 374 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:33,209 They booby-trapped you in your own charisma. 375 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:37,039 How dare they debase you by forcing you to do 376 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:41,043 the very thing you did by choice for 15 years? 377 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,002 I'm sorry, what is this about? 378 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,220 -Allow me. -Sit down, David. 379 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,526 Okay. 380 00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:50,879 Things aren't working out at Harvard. 381 00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:52,141 I'm thinking of leaving. 382 00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:54,796 Wow. 383 00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:57,755 Really? 384 00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:59,583 Oh, sorry, Dad, 385 00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,064 just so I have this 100% crystal clear-- 386 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,980 you're thinking of dropping out... 387 00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,423 ...of Harvard? 388 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,686 I... [sighs] Dad, 389 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:19,560 do you think you gave Harvard enough of a chance? 390 00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,911 You're just so bright, Dad. I... 391 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,695 I'd hate to see you waste that kind of potential. 392 00:17:27,262 --> 00:17:29,483 Are you having trouble making friends? 393 00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:33,008 Tell you what-- why not take a gap year? 394 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,488 You know, take a little time to... 395 00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,185 to think things over, 'cause, you know, 396 00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:37,578 I'm just worried about 397 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:38,796 how this is gonna affect 398 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,625 the rest of your life. 399 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:44,019 What am I supposed to tell my friends?! 400 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,330 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 401 00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:54,464 Are you high on drugs? 402 00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:01,080 Very funny. Very droll. 403 00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:03,995 You quite finished? 404 00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,823 No, Dad, I'm just kidding. [chuckles] 405 00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:07,825 No one gets it more than I do. Harvard's not for everyone. 406 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,654 -It's-it's okay to give up. -I'm not giving up. 407 00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:13,353 -No, I'm just saying there's no shame in being a quitter. -I'm not a quitter. 408 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:17,096 Well, you quit your radio show, you quit your TV show. 409 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,749 Didn't you and Uncle Niles once have a restaurant 410 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,882 you quit after, like, one day? 411 00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:25,495 I'm not quitting, I just... 412 00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:27,062 I can't seem to figure out 413 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,325 how to get my students to take me seriously. 414 00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:31,893 You know, the character I'm auditioning for-- 415 00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:34,069 nobody takes her seriously, either. 416 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,679 Nobody except for Julius, 417 00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:38,378 the partially-blind night shift custodian. 418 00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,597 And the way he talks about her 419 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:43,687 allows others to see her for the leader that she is, 420 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:47,126 right up until he falls into the industrial meat grinder. 421 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,652 So... 422 00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:55,046 if I could find my Julius-- 423 00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:56,918 one student with whom I could engage 424 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,224 in an inspiring conversation 425 00:18:58,267 --> 00:18:59,616 and thereby win over the entire class. 426 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:04,099 And I bet I know just the Julius I need. 427 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:08,190 I bet you do. 428 00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:15,197 After that brief hiccup yesterday, 429 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,721 I think it's time we got back on track. 430 00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:19,723 Uh, but first, does anyone have a question? 431 00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,247 I have a question. 432 00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,379 Anyone? Anyone at all? 433 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:25,642 Ah, yes, the young lady in the back there. 434 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:28,254 Yes, I have prepared a question for you, Dr. Crane. 435 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:32,040 Oh, wonderful. Well, I'm excited to hear that. 436 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,173 I'm your helper. 437 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,697 I'm... I'm your... I'm your Sancho Panza. 438 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:39,526 It's about Hermann Ebbinghaus. 439 00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:42,485 Oh, yes, Ebbinghaus. Oh, very interesting. 440 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,488 You planned this without me. You totally went over my head. 441 00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:48,448 Yes, and as a serious academic, 442 00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,972 could you tell me what his whole deal was? 443 00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:53,496 And, please, no gimmicky showmanship. 444 00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:57,196 Uh, excuse me... ma'am. 445 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,546 Ma'am? I'm not a ma'am. 446 00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:02,897 I'm a miss. I'm a young, co-ed miss. 447 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,377 Well, I'm convinced. 448 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:07,510 Really? 'Cause you look like an old mom. 449 00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:10,165 If I look old, it's because somebody made me wear 450 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,949 this stupid turtleneck. 451 00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:13,951 Oh, now, as Ebbinghaus once said... 452 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:15,649 Nobody is buying 453 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:18,304 -this little act. -Oh, yeah? Show of hands-- 454 00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,001 who thinks I'm a student? 455 00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,266 Oh... Well, she-she's not. 456 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:27,269 She's just a wannabe actress who stole my moment. 457 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,097 Wannabe? 458 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,447 I have these dweebs eating out of my hand. 459 00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:33,275 You took advantage of him, didn't you? 460 00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:36,322 You took advantage of this poor, gullible buffoon. 461 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:40,108 Or maybe I'm here because he knew that you couldn't do it. 462 00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:41,762 Well, go find your own uncle, 463 00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,155 'cause this one's mine! 464 00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,288 [chanting]: Fight, fight, fight, fight, 465 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,855 -fight, fight, fight, -All right, all right. 466 00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,291 -fight, fight, fight... -Everyone, calm down. 467 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,162 She's only here because my uncle pays 468 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,034 for an apartment for her and her baby. 469 00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:55,906 All right, stop, stop! 470 00:20:57,778 --> 00:20:58,822 Everyone. 471 00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,130 I think it's time... 472 00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:05,307 we put on our 473 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,266 -thinking caps. -Thinking caps! 474 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,542 Sounds like your class went well. 475 00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:25,762 I was teaching next door and the applause woke me up. 476 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:29,766 Yes. 477 00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:31,942 I had them eating out of the palm of my hand. 478 00:21:33,248 --> 00:21:35,511 Did manage to squeeze in 479 00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:37,557 20 minutes about Hermann Ebbinghaus 480 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,211 because of this silly hat, 481 00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:41,691 and a story I told them about 482 00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:44,607 Albert Swinestein's quiz show scandal. 483 00:21:44,651 --> 00:21:46,653 So, why do you look so glum? 484 00:21:46,696 --> 00:21:49,830 Because this wasn't who I wanted to be. 485 00:21:49,873 --> 00:21:51,919 Thirty years ago... 486 00:21:51,962 --> 00:21:54,617 I left Boston with my tail between my legs. 487 00:21:55,879 --> 00:21:59,187 I had dreams of returning, triumphant. 488 00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:01,015 Now those dreams just keep slipping 489 00:22:01,058 --> 00:22:02,495 farther and farther away. 490 00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:05,454 It's a rather fetching hat. 491 00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:07,195 May I have a look? 492 00:22:08,849 --> 00:22:10,416 Ow! 493 00:22:10,459 --> 00:22:11,634 What was that for? 494 00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:13,941 For being a baby. 495 00:22:13,984 --> 00:22:17,031 You're rich, you're famous, your students love you. 496 00:22:17,074 --> 00:22:20,034 For some reason, you smell naturally of sandalwood. 497 00:22:21,078 --> 00:22:22,558 What more could you possibly want? 498 00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:24,255 I wanted to make an impact. 499 00:22:24,299 --> 00:22:26,432 Wanted to realize the potential I had 500 00:22:26,475 --> 00:22:28,521 when I set out on this career path 40 years ago. 501 00:22:29,609 --> 00:22:31,437 I see. 502 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,744 That's a rather fetching belt. Do you mind if I have a look? 503 00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,921 Am I being that ridiculous? 504 00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:40,228 You got 18-year-olds to listen to a lecture 505 00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:42,839 about Ebbinghaus for 20 minutes, 506 00:22:42,883 --> 00:22:45,668 and all it took was a silly hat and a story about a pig. 507 00:22:45,712 --> 00:22:47,583 Which, by the way, I have to hear. 508 00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:51,587 [gasps] ♪ Dr. Crane.♪ 509 00:22:51,631 --> 00:22:53,546 Oh, it was marvelous! 510 00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:55,678 The students were raving. You're a hit. 511 00:22:55,722 --> 00:22:59,682 Yes, Frasier was just complaining about being beloved. 512 00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:02,555 Do you mind if I take a look at this hat? 513 00:23:04,557 --> 00:23:05,949 Hmm. 514 00:23:05,993 --> 00:23:08,474 I have a little bit of a confession. 515 00:23:08,517 --> 00:23:10,389 This thinking cap wasn't shipped overnight. 516 00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:13,392 I bought it years ago when I came to see your show live. 517 00:23:13,435 --> 00:23:16,264 You were a fan of the show? 518 00:23:16,307 --> 00:23:18,440 -Mm-hmm. -You-you didn't mention that. 519 00:23:18,484 --> 00:23:21,051 It's a little bit embarrassing, but 520 00:23:21,095 --> 00:23:24,533 I even ran my local chapter of the Frasier Crane Fan Club. 521 00:23:25,534 --> 00:23:27,275 You were a Craniac? 522 00:23:31,671 --> 00:23:35,196 Watching you lift up and educate your viewers-- 523 00:23:35,239 --> 00:23:37,633 that's why I decided to get my PhD. 524 00:23:38,678 --> 00:23:40,767 So, my show actually inspired you, 525 00:23:40,810 --> 00:23:42,246 despite all the meaningless fluff? 526 00:23:42,290 --> 00:23:45,119 [chuckles] Because of the meaningless fluff. 527 00:23:45,162 --> 00:23:47,469 Well, that's what pulled me in at first, anyway. 528 00:23:47,513 --> 00:23:50,472 Thank God, because otherwise, who knows where I would be? 529 00:23:50,516 --> 00:23:52,909 Probably a head of department 530 00:23:52,953 --> 00:23:55,999 at some backwater community college. 531 00:23:56,043 --> 00:23:57,697 Cornell. 532 00:24:01,918 --> 00:24:04,704 You know, maybe there's nothing wrong 533 00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:08,142 with a little razzle-dazzle. 534 00:24:08,185 --> 00:24:10,361 Just take that old negative self-talk and... 535 00:24:10,405 --> 00:24:11,624 hiyah! 536 00:24:14,322 --> 00:24:16,150 Thank you. 537 00:24:16,193 --> 00:24:17,847 Thank you both. 538 00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:19,153 Mostly Olivia. 539 00:24:22,548 --> 00:24:25,638 This thinking cap of yours-- didn't I see it in your office 540 00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:27,509 with a price tag on it last week? 541 00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:29,729 Oh, I may have embellished 542 00:24:29,772 --> 00:24:31,861 to get a very sincere point across. 543 00:24:31,905 --> 00:24:34,168 -[chuckles] -Well done. 544 00:24:34,211 --> 00:24:35,691 Oh, and, uh, 545 00:24:35,735 --> 00:24:38,085 well done also on that, uh, 546 00:24:38,128 --> 00:24:40,174 pathetic Craniac thing you made up. 547 00:24:40,217 --> 00:24:41,871 Mm-hmm. 548 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,049 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why were you in my office? 549 00:24:46,093 --> 00:24:49,052 Oh, looking for the cat. By the way, 550 00:24:49,096 --> 00:24:52,926 your desktop Zen garden's been compromised. 551 00:24:52,969 --> 00:24:54,797 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 552 00:24:58,453 --> 00:25:01,543 ["Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs" playing] 553 00:25:01,587 --> 00:25:03,502 FRASIER: Y'all know how this goes. 554 00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:07,114 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin'♪ 555 00:25:07,157 --> 00:25:10,596 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs♪ 556 00:25:12,336 --> 00:25:14,861 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused♪ 557 00:25:14,904 --> 00:25:17,472 Yeah, maybe. But I got you pegged. 558 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:18,604 [chuckles] 559 00:25:19,692 --> 00:25:21,607 ♪ But I don't know what to do♪ 560 00:25:21,650 --> 00:25:25,654 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs♪ 561 00:25:27,613 --> 00:25:29,789 ♪ Life's callin' again.♪ 562 00:25:32,008 --> 00:25:33,706 Back in Beantown. 563 00:25:33,749 --> 00:25:34,750 What is a boy to do?