♪♪
- [laughter] - Come on in.
Whoa. Are you sure this is the right house?
I thought you said you were a firefighter.
Uh, I am, yeah.
They, uh, they let you stay here
when you're firefighter of the month.
Come on, how do you afford all this?
Sorry, I couldn't hear you,
I'm already halfway up the stairs.
Oh, my God, is this Baldacci Cabernet?
This costs more than I make in a week.
[chuckles]
Should we drink it?
Uh, you know, that's-- it's more of a-a looking wine.
Oh, come on. Let's live a little.
Yeah, I can't.
Uh, most of this stuff is actually my dad's.
Oh, you live with your dad.
Uh, well, you know, I prefer to think
he lives with me.
Aw. Does he need help?
He's definitely needy.
Well, a hero at work and at home.
When my Nan got old, she would suffer these wild delusions.
She thought she was a cat.
Which was cute until she destroyed our sofa.
So you get it.
I mean, all we can really do is love them
and try and make their final years
- as comfortable as possible. - Yeah.
Poor guy, he barely gets out of bed anymore.
[door opens]
Well, I had to cut my birding trip short.
You climb all the way up Mount Greylock,
you think you're going to find a yellow-rumped warbler,
but nary a rump in sight.
Dad, you, uh, you shouldn't be here.
No, I should be up to my eyeballs in rumps.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.
[chuckles]
I'll just grab a nightcap and head up to bed.
Oh, no. He must have
slipped out while we were at dinner,
and now he thinks he went mountain climbing.
Yeah, don't, don't blame yourself.
I would never have guessed that he's struggling.
He's so spry.
It's just heartbreaking when the mind goes before the body.
Okay, don't mind me, just you two enjoy yourselves.
I've got an early day at the office tomorrow.
I teach at Harvard.
Oh.
Harvard, that's wonderful.
And you almost saw a bird. Big day.
It was.
I like her.
Dad, why don't you head up, get some rest, huh?
Aw, bless your heart.
Now it's his turn to take care of you.
What the hell is happening here?
Oh, I'm Nicole.
That's your son Freddy.
One second.
Dad?
Sorry.
- FRASIER: You told her what? - FREDDY: Shh!
[indistinct chatter]
[clears throat]
Sorry about that.
I apologize for my outburst.
I must have been sundowning.
Ah, that's okay, Dad.
Just call me if you get lost on the way to your room.
And remember, shoes off first,
then pants.
But, Freddy,
it's time for my bath.
You got me into this button fly,
you're gonna have to get me out.
NICOLE: Okay, I'm gonna go. Yeah.
- Hey, Dad. - Oh, Freddy, thank God you're here.
I can't figure out how to make this damn phone work.
You having fun?
More fun than I had at the market.
It took me forever because I was afraid
to go top speed on my Rascal scooter.
I'm sorry, all right?
It's just, you have no idea how hard it is
to explain to a woman I'm a grown man living with my dad.
Right.
Couldn't possibly imagine what that's like.
That's different.
When Grandpa moved in with you,
it was your place, you were helping him out.
Now it's also your place,
but you won't let me do anything to help out around here.
I mean, you pay the bills, you cook half my meals.
Which I am happy to do. You're my son.
- [knocking on door] - But I'm also an adult.
I spent a long time on my own.
I'm used to pulling my own weight.
I don't need you stocking the fridge with pudding cups.
- You eat those. - Not the butterscotch.
Hi, guys.
Do you want to see my new face cream?
Not now, Eve.
No. Say you want to see it.
We're in the middle of a conversation...
- Just say you want to see it. - Eve, we don't care...
Well, too bad, 'cause you can't.
My package was stolen.
Could you please fix the friggin' buzzer?
Oh, yeah, Dad, I was meaning to say,
I'm pretty sure it's just a loose wire.
I think a handyman could fix that in no time.
Well, you, you sound like you know what to do.
Um, would you do that for me?
Really?
Yes, it would really help me out.
Okay, sure. Yeah.
And, Eve, uh,
I'd be glad to pay for the package that was stolen. How much was it?
Uh, 35... hundred dollars.
Do they give prizes for best father?
I believe they give out mugs,
but I don't think they're terribly exclusive.
Well, I deserve one.
I have just executed a masterful spell of parenting.
Wonderful. And right on time
as Freddy is in his formative mid-30s.
Freddy was worried that he was losing his independence
since moving in with me, so I thought of a little job for him,
and problem solved.
Ah, yes. Nothing says independence
like condescending busywork.
Congratulations, Alan,
you have set a new school record.
Huzzah. What for?
Ooh, ooh, I'll bet it's a bad thing. Let me guess.
Um, most naps in class.
Oh, no, no.
Oldest food stain on tie?
Your fifth T.A. in a month just quit.
Damn it, I overthought it.
Well, you know, it's not my fault.
These kids complain about everything.
"I don't want to tidy your attic."
"There are noises coming from your attic."
"Why didn't you tell me
there's a family of raccoons in your attic?"
You know, you're lucky her eye was able to heal.
Well, fortunately, I was able to find the one student
who's still willing to work for you.
He's not officially a T.A.
since he's an undergrad,
but, for some reason, he's actually very excited.
Oh, I can't wait to meet
the gumptious individual. I'm sure we'll get on like a...
Reporting for duty, my liege.
You win. I'll retire.
I'm so sorry, Alan,
there were no other choices.
But also, and one could argue
this is even more important,
I think it's very, very funny.
[laughs]
[laughs louder]
I'm going to get an ice cream.
[laughs]
I can assure you, Dr. Cornwall,
I am absolutely up to the task.
You know, Alan. Olivia's right.
This could be very funny.
- [chuckles] - For example,
I noticed you didn't have any office hours,
so, as the T.A. handbook says I should,
I posted them for you.
You're booked for weeks, Professor Popular.
I'm far too sober for all this.
David, get me a Scotch from the cabinet.
I'm sorry, the T.A. handbook says that
alcohol in school premises is discouraged,
so I cleared it all out.
How did you...
When did you...
Why did you...
You're a real stickler for the T.A. handbook,
aren't you, David?
How's it going so far?
[laughs]
Oh, Dad, try the buzzer for me.
[buzzer sounds]
Hey, you fixed it.
[chuckles] How about that?
I don't know how you did it.
Oh, what I did was,
I took the old tube wiring, and I just...
I didn't say I wanted to know.
But thank you.
I can't recall when I've been this impressed.
I got a Medal of Valor last fall.
And now this. What a year.
I also noticed it's a little damp behind the panel,
so I had to open up the walls, see if we had a leak.
Open up the walls?
Wouldn't it be easier just to buy another building?
Yeah, I got started inside, but I'll have to finish
when I get back from my shift.
Don't worry, you won't even notice a thing.
[shrieks] Oh, God.
Oh, God, what have you done?!
What happened?
This... happened.
He made a hole.
EVE: Oh, no, was a teeny,
tiny Kool-Aid Man here?
Eve, please, this is serious.
No, you're right. Oh, to cover that hole,
you just need the tiniest poster of Rita Hayworth.
Eve.
This maw into the underworld
is Freddy's attempt to trace a leak to its source.
Well, don't worry, you're in good hands.
He's incredibly thorough.
Once he starts, he never stops.
Elaborate on the word "never."
Oh, he will find every single problem.
It'll be months and months of holes and tarps
and dust everywhere, so much dust.
There's bound to be a critter or two,
but once he's done, you'll know it was done right.
Critter.
[grunts]
Oh, good.
You're just in time to walk my cat.
I'm sorry to be so nit-picky...
No, no, no, nit-picky's good.
She has fleas.
The T.A. handbook says that personal errands are forbidden.
Ah, the T.A. handbook again.
Yes, I think I see the problem.
I think you've been referring to the old copy.
The latest version is online.
I'll just send you the link.
Oh, personal errands are now encouraged.
They build character.
"The more demeaning, the better."
Well, there it is in black and white.
"Especially cats." That seems oddly specific.
I don't make the rules.
I don't remember any of this.
Maybe I should file a request for information with the dean.
Well, I would love you to do that,
but I suggest that you refer to page 12.
Oh. "Requests for information are now pro-hobbit-ed."
Just refresh the page.
I'm sorry, it says "prohibited."
Yes, they really have thought of everything, haven't they?
Now, here's my conundrum:
I love Lucky Charms, but I hate marshmallows.
And this is where you come in.
- [knock on door] - It's open.
You called a plumber?
Yes, this is a very delicate situation.
You see, my project requires the utmost discretion.
No problem, most of my business is wives bringing me in
- to spare their husbands' egos. - [chuckles]
In this case, I am the wife
and my son is my husband.
You want to find another way to phrase that?
Yes, I do, thank you.
See, my-my son wants to help out around here,
and I just don't want him wasting his time
with all this menial work.
Sure, sure. That's all I do for a living.
You could have found a less hurtful way to say it, but okay.
I'm sorry, what I would like you to do
is-is find the source of the leak,
and then I can point him in the right direction.
I'll see what I can do.
That apology sounded kind of insincere, but all right.
Oh, Freddy. Oh, uh, you're home early.
Yeah, I couldn't stop thinking about the leak,
so I got a buddy to cover my shift so I can finish up.
Oh, wait, wait. Uh, why don't we go to the kitchen?
- I can make you a snack. - Nah, I'm not hungry, thanks.
Aren't you going to ask me if I'd like a snack in return?
Uh, you want a snack?
I'd love one. How about a quick jambalaya?
Hey, I think I figured it out.
Wha... Uh, Dad, who's this?
Yes, this is, uh, my colleague, uh, Roland.
Roland, this is my, uh, my son,
whom I told you about. Freddy.
Oh, of course, Freddy.
Yes, I work with your dad. We're buds.
Oh, so you're a psych professor? At Harvard?
That is correct.
I am a psychology professor at Harvard University.
Oh, nice to meet you.
A question, Professor Roland.
Why are you wearing a jumpsuit with your name on it?
Oh, this? Well, uh,
I'm in the middle of an experiment right now
that explores the assumptions people make
about blue-collar workers.
Impressive, isn't he?
Yeah.
Follow-up question.
Exactly which psychological theory is that exploring?
Oh, we should just let the professor go now...
Well, the most relevant theory, of course,
is confirmation bias, isn't it?
Sometimes my subjects can't see past
their own preconceived notions.
Laypeople, am I right?
Absolutely. I mean, I think so, too.
I mean, shouldn't we just let him go now?
Of course, of course, yeah.
I actually have to install some copper piping under the sink.
I mean, most of the pipes here are galvanized,
but, uh, that should be fine.
[groans]
Off you go now. I'll see you on campus.
No, no, no, look, I can't let you do that.
Galvanized steel with copper?
That'll corrode both pipes.
It'll ruin the entire building.
I knew it. Plumber!
Why, Roland, why?
So... you secretly get a plumber to come here,
and instead of being honest with me about it,
you make the poor guy do improv?
Which I kind of think I knocked out of the park.
Yes, I agree.
Look, uh, you may as well
get your things and go. Thank you.
Thank you. I'm-I'm sorry.
It's just, I wanted to take this
off of your plate.
You have so many other things to do.
Yeah, but you're not letting me contribute.
Because you don't have to.
Let me take care of everything.
Don't let your pride get in the way.
I let you have the buzzer.
Golly gee whiz. Thanks so much.
You let me have the buzzer. Thank you.
I'm gonna go jump up and down on my race car bed.
- I fixed the leak. - Thank you.
You know, I've got to find
some way to cover that up until it can get fixed.
Well, your son seems very eager to help.
Why don't you have him fix it?
Because I don't want him to.
You know, why does everyone assume
I'm just some decrepit old man?
"Oh, my back. Oh, my hip."
Oh, my knee.
Are you okay?
I could pretend to be a doctor.
ROLAND: All right.
- [sighs] Thank you. - Yeah.
Oh. It's my knee.
An old polo injury.
Oh. Water or horse?
Neither, I slipped trying on a pair of chinos
at the Ralph Lauren store.
- Thank you. - Yeah, no problem.
- Freddy. - Professor.
Hey, Dad, I was going to, uh...
Did you hurt your leg?
Uh, no, no, no. It's fine.
I'm talking about the other one.
Yes, yes, I-I did tweak my knee,
but I'm fine.
You need to elevate it more. I'll get you an ice pack.
I don't need to be tended to like a child.
Aha!
But, Dad, "Let me take care of everything.
Don't let your pride get in the way."
Sound familiar?
If you're asking if I understand
that the words I used just a few moments ago are now
being thrown back at me to make some sort of a point,
yes, I am familiar with the form.
I don't know why you're being so stubborn.
I mean, you won't let me fix the leak,
now I can't get you an ice pack.
I mean, you took care of Grandpa for years, so...
I said I'm fine.
[sighs] You're right.
I won't try to help you anymore.
Oh, shoot.
I think I left the fridge door open,
but, eh, you'll get it, you don't need my help.
[door closes]
[refrigerator beeps]
[beeping continues]
Alan. I need your help.
[refrigerator beeps]
Oh, David.
Uh, you're screening his calls now?
All right, it's your uncle.
Frasier.
It's regarding... Just put him on the line.
[groans] I can't believe my dad.
Hey, by the way, you should really lock your door.
We live in Boston.
They literally named a strangler after us.
Oh, is that your stolen face cream?
Oh, yeah, it wasn't stolen.
I got the delivery day wrong.
But the company already sent me a replacement,
and your dad gave me 35 bucks, so win-win.
Kind of sounds like you stole from two people.
Yeah, win-win.
So, what's wrong?
It's just my dad, he... he hurt himself,
and he still won't ask for my help.
That's-that's ridiculous, right?
Yeah, of course it's ridiculous.
Aha. Thank you. Exactly.
And that's why he's not admitting it.
What are you talking about?
You're not, uh, great
when you're right about things.
You're kind of, mmm, insufferable.
What? No, I'm not.
Quick question: Do you remember how you reacted
when I thought that anthropologists
were people that worked at Anthropologie?
[laughs]
Do I? [laughs]
I tell that story all the time.
I can't believe you actually thought that...
Oh, my God. Is that what I look like when I'm right?
Punchable, isn't it?
Wh-Why is my eyebrow so high?
Look, people don't like to ask for help.
- Especially not from this guy. - Okay, okay.
I-I get it. Thanks.
Relax, it's not like you look like Frankenstein.
Uh, I think you mean Frankenstein's monster,
which is a common miscon...
Okay, okay, I get it. I get it.
[refrigerator beeping]
- [knocking on door] - It's open.
DAVID: No, it's not.
[beeping continues]
Oh...
Oh, you meant the door was unlocked.
Why didn't you just say so?
I thought you were Alan.
- Where is he? - He's on his way.
He sent me to prepare for his arrival.
David.
- How are you feeling? - Terrible.
I can hardly move.
Did you hear that, David? He's immobile.
Quickly, go and grab the good silver.
It's a joke, David.
Ha, ha, very funny, sir.
I think I've got an ice pack in the freezer. Would you mind getting it?
No, of course not. I'm here to help.
David, are you deaf? The man needs an ice pack.
And for God's sake, close that door when you're finished.
So, where's Freddy? Why isn't he helping you?
Because I explicitly asked him not to.
Oh, I see what's going on here.
You refuse to accept help from your own son because you're too proud.
No, that's not it.
Well, now I see what's going on here.
You won't let Freddy help you
in the way that you helped Martin
because you think you're going to turn into your father.
That's not it either.
How many guesses do I get?
I won't let him help me because...
I know that I will never be my father.
What do you mean?
My father was always there for us.
I owe him everything.
So when he needed help later in life,
I jumped at the opportunity.
Jumped? I thought you hated it.
Well, all right.
Maybe "jumped" is the wrong word.
I-I did warm to it after a while.
But whatever I did for my father,
it wasn't enough, because whatever I did, I...
I could never repay him.
And you don't want to burden Freddy
because, in your eyes,
you weren't there for him either.
Exactly.
I knew it.
I will never be able to make up
for the times I wasn't there for Freddy.
So, to have him waiting on me now,
it'd just put me further behind.
So, no,
I will never ask my son for help.
Thank you.
No, I understand what you're saying, Frasier.
I mean, it's difficult for men of our age
to ask the younger generation for help.
David, laces.
But until you stop thinking about your relationship
with your son as some sort of balance sheet
that needs to be tallied up,
then neither of you will get what you want.
Right, we'd better go.
You think David could stay behind for a bit?
No, no, pressing business, I'm afraid.
My cat needs her eye drops.
She also needs her claws trimmed,
as David will discover when he gives her the eye drops.
David, would you mind getting me my Sondheim book
- from the shelf? - Oh, sure.
You know he's taking advantage of you, don't you?
Oh, I know.
And you don't mind that?
Oh, are you kidding?
I don't know if you know this about me,
but growing up, I was a little coddled.
I have yet to eat an intact grape.
But Dr. Cornwall is the first adult
to trust me with any real responsibility.
You don't resent him, in spite of all you're doing?
No, no.
The work may seem menial,
but it feels good to be valued.
ALAN: David, you worm. Come on.
Duty calls.
[door closes]
This isn't Stephen Sondheim, it's Susan Sontag.
[mutters]
Who could confuse these? Oh...
Yeah.
Mmm, yeah, there.
[grunts] Okay.
[grunting softly]
Oh, my other knee!
Help!
- Freddy, help! - Dad?
Dad, where are you?
- What the... - Over here.
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah, just-just
help me... help me get up-up here,
and then I'll just take it from there.
- Okay. - All right.
Thank you.
Oh, I'm sorry, I...
[groans]
I did need your help. You were right.
Well, well, well...
What I mean is,
thank you.
And I'm also sorry that...
you felt as if you weren't valued.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Thanks, Dad.
I appreciate feeling needed.
You know, we're, uh,
we still got to patch things up.
What the hell do you think I'm trying to do?
I meant the wall, Dad.
Oh. [chuckles]
Of course. Why don't we just
leave that in your very capable hands?
[both chuckle]
Okay.
Maybe I could find some time.
[knocking on door]
Don't get up.
Oh, hey, Nicole.
Hey. Um, I am sorry to just stop by,
but I left my scarf here.
Right. Yeah.
- Um, here. - Thanks.
And, um, I'm really sorry about the other night.
No, it's fine.
Um, it was definitely weird, though.
- FREDDY: Yeah. - Your dad seemed pretty with it.
I wasn't sure you were telling the truth about him.
Right, yeah, about that,
and sin-since you, you bring it up...
Freddy! Freddy, come quick! Help! Freddy!
Sorry.
Uh, what is it?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know you have company,
but you need to hear this, too.
I was attacked by robots.
Oh, no. That sounds scary.
It was, because the thing about robots today
is that they don't really look like robots.
Not the way they used to.
They look like the, the mailman or the grocer
or, or a little child on the way to school with their mother.
Don't let them fool you, don't let your guard down
because, when you least expect it,
they'll break both your legs.
- Robots did this to you? - Yes.
It's been a very trying day.
Freddy, will you help me get to bed?
- Sure, Dad. - Aw.
Hey.
I'm so sorry.
Obviously, I was very wrong about your dad.
Well...
So, I-I got to go,
but do you think maybe
you want to grab a drink this weekend?
Sure. Yeah, I'd love that.
Okay, cool.
Um...
You have a wonderful son!
Yes. I know. Thank you.
Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry. I've got to take this.
Yes, Mr. President?
Okay, I think she's great,
but I'm not doing this forever.
["Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs" playing]
FRASIER: Y'all know how this goes.
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
Yeah, maybe. But I got you pegged.
[chuckles]
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
♪ Life's callin' again. ♪
Boston, we love you!