1 00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:07,040 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,754 ♪ Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 3 00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:23,022 ♪ Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 4 00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:25,492 ♪ Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, Baby Shark ♪ 5 00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,435 ♪ Mommy Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 6 00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:37,470 ♪ Mommy Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 7 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:41,374 ♪ Mommy Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, Mommy Shark ♪ 8 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,343 ♪ Daddy Shark... ♪ 9 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:54,554 - Good morning, you two. - Hi. 10 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,423 Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake the baby? 11 00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:58,525 Don't appreciate you calling me that. 12 00:00:58,591 --> 00:00:59,793 No. 13 00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:01,361 John's been up forever. 14 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,096 Just like me. 15 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:04,631 Why won't he nap? 16 00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:07,400 I would strangle everyone in this room for a nap. 17 00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:09,502 Yes, well... 18 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,171 cherish these times. 19 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,540 They disappear with a cruel swiftness. 20 00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:15,442 Mark my words. 21 00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:17,844 You will blink and find yourself yearning for the days 22 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,447 when you could simply rock your sweet child to sleep 23 00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:21,815 in your arms. 24 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,520 That was incredible. 25 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,355 Mm, seemed a little cliché to me. 26 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,325 No, I think your dad's voice put John to sleep. 27 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,194 Look at him. 28 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,362 It's like he's been chloroformed. 29 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:41,801 You okay? 30 00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,336 Well... 31 00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:45,205 my back's killing me, my... 32 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,840 knees have locked up and... 33 00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:48,875 I know there is a diaper in there somewhere, 34 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,211 but for the love of God, I can't find it. 35 00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:54,180 You know, I have made accommodation for you 36 00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:56,416 in the very large apartment across the hall. 37 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,418 Your room there has a Savoir bed, 38 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:01,321 plumped with wool from Khangai yaks, 39 00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:03,756 which is so soft that Mongolian herdsmen 40 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:07,193 can't ride them bareback without slipping off asleep. 41 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,862 I know, but... 42 00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:10,663 Eve lost her boyfriend. She's alone with John. 43 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:13,433 How's she gonna feel if I just suddenly leave, too? 44 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,268 You're a good friend. 45 00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,136 I'm not looking for a pat on the back. 46 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,639 Oh, no, you've got a burp pad stuck to it. 47 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:23,176 Thank you for the coffee, Dr. Crane. 48 00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:24,878 Oh, of course. Here. 49 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,447 Can I ask you... 50 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,315 do you know why Freddy won't move in with you? 51 00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:30,650 You mean you wouldn't mind if he did? 52 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,185 No. 53 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:33,620 I mean... 54 00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:35,555 don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but... 55 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,423 he snores like a paint mixer 56 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,259 and spends more time getting ready 57 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,927 in the bathroom than a runway model. 58 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,463 Does he know you feel this way? 59 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,731 Of course not. 60 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,499 Everything he's done for us? 61 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:49,335 I'm not gonna tell him that the way he slurps coffee 62 00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,871 makes me want to throw him out a window. 63 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,744 Oh, thanks, Dad. 64 00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:59,312 You're welcome. 65 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,481 You know... 66 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,249 it seems that out of a laudable concern 67 00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:04,584 for one another's feelings, you two are not 68 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:05,718 being honest about what you'd like. 69 00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,353 What? 70 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,489 - I am. - Well, yeah, me, too. 71 00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:12,458 You'd both prefer it if Freddy lived with me. 72 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,794 - I wouldn't. - Yeah, me, neither. 73 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,932 You spend too much time in the bathroom, 74 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:20,934 and his slurping makes you want to kill him. 75 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,936 - I've never heard him slurp. - Yeah. 76 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:26,205 I'm in and out of that bathroom in like 55 minutes. 77 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,509 Dear God. Some people will not be helped. 78 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,544 I could put the two of you on a boat with life preservers 79 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,247 on top of a sand dune, you'd still find a way to drown. 80 00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:36,382 ♪ Daddy Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 81 00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,718 ♪ Daddy Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 82 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,653 ♪ Daddy Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ♪ 83 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,955 ♪ Daddy Shark ♪ 84 00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:43,756 ♪ Grandma Shark, doo-doo... ♪ 85 00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:45,692 - Maybe I should get my dad. - I'll help you pack. 86 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,594 ♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, Grandma Shark... ♪ 87 00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:53,766 Thanks for helping, David. 88 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,468 Oh, no problem. 89 00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:56,970 You and Uncle Frasier are gonna have so much fun 90 00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:58,671 - living together. - We'll see how it goes. 91 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,607 We haven't always gotten along in the past. 92 00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:02,675 Plus, moving in with your dad at 33 93 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,377 is not exactly catnip for ladies. 94 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,379 There's catnip for ladies? 95 00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:11,017 I think I got this. 96 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,619 Why don't you run down to the storage room 97 00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:15,021 and grab my box of, uh... pencils. 98 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,689 On it. 99 00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,995 - So, you... - I'll get the lead out. 100 00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:25,398 Of storage. 101 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,469 So, you... 102 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:31,471 Actually, they're made of graphite. 103 00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:34,741 So... 104 00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,446 You work with firefighters... 105 00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:42,782 men who can sprint down a staircase 106 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,951 carrying another person over their shoulders, 107 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,719 and rather than ask them to help you move, 108 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:50,056 you ask your cousin, David, 109 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,658 whose greatest athletic achievement 110 00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:53,926 is almost crawling into a hammock. 111 00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:57,497 You've been enjoying your Savoir bed? 112 00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:58,998 The, uh, yak mattress? 113 00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,700 Surprisingly soft. 114 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,503 Trust me, once you go yak, you never go back. 115 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:08,041 You know what, I am so excited about living together. 116 00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:11,944 What do you say we have a toast to this new cohabitation? 117 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:14,647 - Oh, sure. I got some Scotch, if that sounds good. - Ooh. Great. 118 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,748 - I'll go get it. - Top shelf. 119 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,517 Of course. Nothing less. 120 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:18,785 No, it's on the top shelf of the hutch. 121 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:19,919 Green plastic jug. 122 00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:29,929 Dr. Crane! 123 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,497 Ah, 124 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,032 I'm so glad I caught you. 125 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,567 What was that thing you said 126 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,769 about how fast the baby years go? 127 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,438 It was really beautiful. 128 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,773 Oh, I'm not sure I said anything all that poetic. 129 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:44,911 Just a small lyrical reverie about how all parents yearn 130 00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:46,679 for that precious, fleeting season 131 00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:49,449 when they could drive away their child's woes with... 132 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,783 soothing voice 133 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,919 and a lullaby. 134 00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,092 - You're magic. - Hmm? 135 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,834 And another young woman falls under your spell. 136 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:16,776 Damn it, Frasier, you know how magnetic you are. 137 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,847 Ah. Freddy. 138 00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,549 I would like your help picking out a dining room table. 139 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:26,619 Now, I have found one that I love with the davenport 140 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:29,889 and another that I absolutely adore with the divan. 141 00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,692 It's a real sofa's choice. 142 00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:36,929 And-and-and that is...? 143 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,098 Weight bench. 144 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:40,733 And you're putting it here? 145 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,401 Seems like a pretty good spot. 146 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,036 Doesn't it make you just a-a bit nervous, 147 00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:47,073 putting a 100-pound dumbbell near a world-class Steinway? 148 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,442 I will stay away from the piano. 149 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,447 Okay. 150 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:55,815 I'll put this in my bedroom. 151 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:56,916 Oh, dear. 152 00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:00,853 What, you don't like the beer sign? 153 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,122 No, it's-it's very fun. 154 00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,825 Um, just trying to think of the best spot for it. 155 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,427 Um... 156 00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,763 Do you know what goes perfectly with this sign? 157 00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:11,964 What? 158 00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,667 Your weight bench. 159 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,436 Can't split up these two kissing cousins. 160 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:18,504 They're meant for each other. 161 00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,974 Okay, I'll put this in my room, too. 162 00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:24,710 And this is...? 163 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,113 Oh, yeah. It's dirt from Fenway. 164 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,781 World Series, 2013. 165 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:31,918 Mm. What a delightfully peculiar little square. 166 00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,620 You're not so bad yourself. 167 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:40,893 Yeah, it's a collector's item. 168 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,029 Oh. Well, then it deserves a... 169 00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:44,831 a place of honor, wouldn't you say? 170 00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,766 Uh... 171 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,001 I know. Right. How 'bout here in the bookshelf? 172 00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:50,970 Sure, yeah. I like that idea. 173 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,004 Yeah. 174 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,973 And we'll just do, uh... 175 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,641 Uh... 176 00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,476 Let's throw that here. 177 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,949 You know what, Dad, if I'm gonna be living here, 178 00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:04,884 it might be nice if I didn't have to hide 179 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,752 - everything that I own. - You don't. 180 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,488 Anything that doesn't clearly go better in your bedroom, 181 00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:10,990 I will welcome with open arms. 182 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,692 I want you to feel comfortable in your... 183 00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:14,627 Don't sit there! 184 00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:18,064 Those are Christian Lacroix pillows. 185 00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,999 So we can't sit on the couch? 186 00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,901 Not in jeans. 187 00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:30,810 Huh? 188 00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,612 There he is. 189 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:35,047 - Look at us, sharing a room again. - Ah. 190 00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:36,883 Just like our Oxford days. 191 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:38,551 The boys are back. 192 00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,052 Watch out, ladies... the lads are on the loose. 193 00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:41,754 Mothers, lock up your daughters. 194 00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,122 Daughters, lock up your mothers. 195 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,524 Oh, who are we kidding? 196 00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:47,026 The only girls we could ever curl up with 197 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,194 - were the Brontë sisters. - Mm. 198 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,096 Emily Dickinson for a quickie. 199 00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:51,564 Oh, yes. 200 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:52,665 American girls, huh? 201 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:53,933 Is that Freddy? 202 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,201 Yes. 203 00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,969 His brief stint at Harvard. 204 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,905 He's so smart. 205 00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:02,775 I just don't understand what happened. 206 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,577 You see, this is why I don't have children. 207 00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:05,811 You have four. 208 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,079 Well, you know what I mean. 209 00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,917 - Ah, Dr. Crane. - Oh. 210 00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:12,919 I'm so sorry we couldn't get you your own office. 211 00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,787 Oh. No, no, I wouldn't have it any other way. 212 00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,989 But if one should open up, just let me know. 213 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:20,059 Oh. Well, if you need some more space, 214 00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,228 - I'm sure we could move Alan. - Mm. 215 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,631 Maybe into an unused cadaver drawer at the medical school. 216 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,566 Yes, you can put me in the drawer 217 00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,802 right next to your love life. 218 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,904 When's the last time you had a woman on your arm 219 00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:34,240 who wasn't placing a blood pressure cuff around it? 220 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,978 Dr. Crane, we are very eager to get the word out 221 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:41,580 about our exciting new faculty. 222 00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,349 Any chance you have some time 223 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,652 for a short interview with The Boston Globe this evening? 224 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,288 The limelight. 225 00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:52,892 I thought I'd be able to leave her hungry glow behind me 226 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,160 in Chicago. 227 00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,262 "I would give all my fame for a pot of ale 228 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,830 and safety." 229 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,167 Gotcha. Well, if you're not into it, 230 00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:02,868 I'll just call The Boston Globe and... 231 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,103 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 232 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,871 I mean, this is my cross to bear. 233 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,040 I mean, my desire for privacy 234 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,608 should be none of your concern. 235 00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,344 Eh. Professor Huntview's also a very big get. 236 00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:12,912 I said I'd do it. 237 00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,614 Anything to help put Harvard on the map. 238 00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:17,917 Mm. 239 00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,790 I've been waiting all day for you. 240 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,160 Eve. 241 00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:29,662 Oh, my God. 242 00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:30,930 Please... 243 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,131 I can't pretend anymore. 244 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,834 I-I just need one thing from you. 245 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,002 I'm desperate. 246 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,872 No amount of desperation will make this okay. 247 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,074 I have to go inside. 248 00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,079 Freddy. 249 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,180 Smells great in here. 250 00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:49,382 Oh, I made dinner. 251 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:50,649 Here, have a drink. 252 00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,651 Thank you. 253 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,657 - You bought a dining table? - Yeah. 254 00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,359 Well, you said you wanted my help picking one out. 255 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,962 - Yes, but... - And you also said that if I found something 256 00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,698 that didn't clearly go in my bedroom, 257 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,233 you would welcome it. 258 00:11:09,468 --> 00:11:11,170 I did, in fact, say that. 259 00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,808 It appears to have an electrical cord. 260 00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,246 Plug it in. 261 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,795 It's an air hockey table! 262 00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:40,299 By your logic, you think it doubles as a dining room table. 263 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,334 Oh, yeah. Sure. It's space-saving. 264 00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,170 I mean, we need an air hockey table. 265 00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:45,337 Indeed. 266 00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:46,839 And we also need a dining table. 267 00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,841 So, you know, two for one. 268 00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,476 Don't you love the colors? 269 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,711 Which ones? 270 00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,747 It appears to have all of them. 271 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,150 Oh! Dad. 272 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,151 Please. 273 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,252 Use a puck. 274 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,931 Pass the salt, please. 275 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,033 Nothing would make me happier. 276 00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:30,483 Mm. 277 00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:32,318 You're right. This could use some salt. Would you? 278 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,365 Freddy, this is all starting to feel a bit passive-aggressive. 279 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,900 If you're trying to make a point, 280 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,235 I wish you would just make it. 281 00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:50,436 Okay. 282 00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:54,306 Goal! 283 00:12:58,144 --> 00:12:59,812 I'm assuming that this is revenge 284 00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,847 for not wanting your weight bench in the living room. 285 00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,916 Or any of my things. 286 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,451 Only because, happily, I can provide you 287 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,952 with some nicer things. 288 00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:08,787 To you, they're nicer. I like my things. 289 00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:11,090 Well, it's just that they're a bit, um... 290 00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:12,491 Embarrassing. 291 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,460 No! No, no, they're not embarrassing. 292 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,929 You don't want someone walking into your apartment 293 00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:18,898 seeing my stupid, garish things. 294 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,799 You find them embarrassing. 295 00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:23,435 In fact, I'm not so sure you don't find me embarrassing. 296 00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:25,337 Oh, that is absolutely ludicrous. 297 00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:28,207 It's just that I believe that my Loetz Austrian Art Nouveau 298 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:31,076 iridescent glass vase might clash ever so slightly 299 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,078 with your box of dirt. 300 00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,880 That box of dirt 301 00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:37,016 is from Fenway 2013. 302 00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:38,918 The Sox were in that dirt. 303 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:42,021 I want to understand why that's important. 304 00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:47,459 But to me, it just sounds like a laundry problem. 305 00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:51,197 David Ortiz made MVP of the World Series 306 00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:53,065 in that dirt. "Big Papi." 307 00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:55,868 Well, good for him... 308 00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,203 big sonny. 309 00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:00,940 What? What? Where are you going? 310 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,875 To the bar. I'm gonna meet some friends. 311 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:05,978 And when I get back, I think I should move back in with Eve. 312 00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:08,914 I mean, you like the idea of us living together and bonding, 313 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,849 but you obviously don't want me here. 314 00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,084 Of course I do! 315 00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,220 Freddy! 316 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,922 And that's the end of the period! 317 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:26,365 Is that reporter here yet? I've brought two looks. 318 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,535 One serious, one fun. Both gray. 319 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,537 Frasier, look at this. 320 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,273 Found a wonderful picture of us both from our Oxford days. 321 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,308 Oh, Alan, the memories. 322 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,944 I love it. 323 00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,446 That's not me. 324 00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:42,381 Really? 325 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,083 This isn't even you. 326 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:47,253 Huh. 327 00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:53,892 Are you all right? 328 00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:56,462 Oh, it's Freddy. 329 00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,564 He's regressing into an angry teen. 330 00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,266 What's he angry about? 331 00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:02,167 That I don't love Scotch out of a plastic jug 332 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:05,337 or a dining set designed by Dave and Buster. 333 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,072 You ask me, it's all a bit performative. 334 00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:09,008 Honestly, it's exaggerated disdain 335 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,343 for anything remotely tasteful. 336 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,112 Just like my father. 337 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,282 Oh, I see what's going on here. 338 00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:18,317 Oh. What does that mean? 339 00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,519 - Pretty obvious, isn't it? - Please, Alan, I'm not in the mood. 340 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:24,023 All right, all right. Not my call. 341 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:28,027 I'll just write a few things down in case I forget. 342 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,496 You can do what you want. It's no concern of mine. 343 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:35,501 What are you writing? 344 00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,237 I don't care. 345 00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,374 What did you write? 346 00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,277 Let me guess. 347 00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:46,612 You think Frederick gets under my skin 348 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,180 because he reminds me of my father. 349 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,149 Some trite observation like that. 350 00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:52,651 Not a bad thought, Alan, actually. 351 00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,521 Can you blame me? I mean, I loved my father, 352 00:15:55,587 --> 00:16:00,125 but he cringed at absolutely everything I am. 353 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:02,194 Can you imagine what that's like, to have a father 354 00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,496 that's that embarrassed by you... 355 00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:09,068 Okay. 356 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,303 Okay, you made your point. 357 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:14,239 I'm doing the same thing with Freddy. 358 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,408 He just wants a father who accepts him. 359 00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,747 Oh, I see what you've done. 360 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,583 It's a neat little parlor trick. You get me to rev myself up 361 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,553 while you write down absolutely nothing at all, you... 362 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:34,393 "Just wants a father who accepts him." 363 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,498 How the hell did you do that? 364 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,700 Frasier, I've known you for decades. 365 00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,169 I'm an eminent psychiatrist. 366 00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:46,338 Plus, on the other side, I wrote down "mommy issues" 367 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,040 just to cover my bases. 368 00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,777 I can't believe I'm confessing this, 369 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,279 but I hit my son over the head with my Art Nouveau vase, 370 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,549 suffocated him with my Christian Lacroix pillows. 371 00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,685 God. 372 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,087 - I hate to admit it, but it's true. - Uh, Frasier... 373 00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:03,589 No, I've got to get this off my chest. 374 00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:06,225 I lured my unsuspecting son into my apartment 375 00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:09,661 with false promises, and now there's no trace of him left. 376 00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,031 God, I'm a monster. 377 00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,403 Dr. Crane, this is Jeneé Whitacker 378 00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,071 from The Boston Globe. 379 00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,242 Please, I have a family. 380 00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:26,712 Excuse me, ladies. I have a hatchet to bury! 381 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,123 Excuse me, sorry. Uh, excuse me, uh, 382 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:39,458 I'm-I'm looking for a... 383 00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:42,161 Oh, my God. 384 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:44,563 Do you know who you are? 385 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,133 - You're Frasier Crane. - I am aware of that, yes. 386 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,103 - I'm actually looking... - My wife used to watch your show all the time. 387 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,672 It gave her the tools to go after what she wanted. 388 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,175 Uh, ex-wife, I should say. 389 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,744 - I hope she and Leslie are happy. - Mm-hmm. 390 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,547 And your show helped me pick up better on social cues. 391 00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:02,848 Oh, very flattering. I'm glad. 392 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,150 As like when I'm interrupting too much. 393 00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:07,152 Which I understand. You should be very proud, but I... 394 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:09,788 You know who you'd be great for? Our buddy. 395 00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,523 His dad died when he was a kid, 396 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,858 and he still can't talk about it. 397 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,526 Oh, gosh, well, I-I'm sorry to hear that, 398 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,395 - but... - Oh, there he is. Hey, Freddy, 399 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,130 look who's here. 400 00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:21,700 It's TV's Frasier Crane. 401 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,302 Yeah. 402 00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,237 Hey. 403 00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:27,105 Check it out. He's friggin' starstruck. 404 00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:29,608 It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. 405 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,176 Sorry to hear about your father 406 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,712 dying when you were just a child. 407 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,415 Yeah, I don't like to talk about that too much. 408 00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:38,650 Goddamn it, Freddy. 409 00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,752 I'm not gonna let you be a prisoner of your childhood. 410 00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:42,821 Excuse me, Dr. Crane. 411 00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:45,657 Now, process your grief while we get a bucket of beers. 412 00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:47,125 Yeah. 413 00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:50,863 What you doing here? 414 00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:53,332 Surprised to see me risen from the grave? 415 00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:54,533 Dad... 416 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,201 I'm still talking, Oedipus. 417 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,509 So, this is why you didn't ask your firemen buddies 418 00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,344 to help you move. 419 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:09,448 Because you're too, oh, what was that word you used 420 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:12,317 to describe how I feel about you, when actually, 421 00:19:12,384 --> 00:19:14,720 it describes how you feel about me? 422 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:17,389 - It's "embarrassed." - It's "embarrassed." 423 00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,425 I hope you're hungry, 'cause this irony is delicious. 424 00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,696 - How we doing? - Oh. Yeah. Wow. 425 00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,832 Dr. Crane just blasted open doors 426 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,333 I didn't even know were there. 427 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,568 Thanks so much, Doc. 428 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,236 We'll let you get on with your night. 429 00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:34,273 No, no, no, no, hold on. We've just gotten started. 430 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,842 - So, tell me, Frankie... - It's "Freddy." 431 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,811 Freddy. Um, tell me about this father of yours. 432 00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:41,813 Oh, yeah, I-I don't remember that much. 433 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,816 You told me he was a pipe fitter from Dorchester. 434 00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:46,385 Other than that, you said he was 435 00:19:46,451 --> 00:19:47,886 this completely forgettable nobody 436 00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,556 who really never made an impression on anyone. 437 00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:53,559 I-I don't think I said that, Moose. 438 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,762 No, I remember 'cause it really broke my heart. 439 00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,264 - I'm kind of an empath. - Mm. 440 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:01,733 And the way your dad died, 441 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,771 impaled by that falling radio antenna. Mm. 442 00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:08,607 No symbolism to unpack there. 443 00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:12,511 Sounds like your father was a big disappointment to you. 444 00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:14,880 No, he... 445 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:18,450 He could sometimes just be a little hard to be around. 446 00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:19,918 How so? 447 00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:21,820 Oh, I don't know, as a totally random example, 448 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,356 uh, let's say he's the kind of guy who, 449 00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:27,392 if you're out with some friends, maybe having a few beers, 450 00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:30,662 suddenly he shows up and takes over the entire room. 451 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,431 Jerk. 452 00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:37,703 Must have been rather difficult for you, living in that shadow. 453 00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:39,504 It was. 454 00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,807 Everybody was always so wowed by him. 455 00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:44,576 I mean, I know I was. That... 456 00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,578 That didn't leave a lot of space for... 457 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,781 For you. 458 00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,619 And then I guess I kind of lashed out. 459 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,621 Who wouldn't? 460 00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:57,489 It's understandable. 461 00:20:57,556 --> 00:21:00,592 Your father left no room in the home for your personality. 462 00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:07,399 If he were alive today, I'm sure he would say that he was sorry. 463 00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:13,538 I hate to poke holes, 464 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,607 but if your dad died when you were so little 465 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:17,309 you don't remember him, 466 00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:20,679 how were you overwhelmed by his big personality? 467 00:21:20,746 --> 00:21:24,916 And also, your dad was a pipe fitter from Dorchester? 468 00:21:24,983 --> 00:21:27,019 'Cause you told me he was a plumber from Mattapan, 469 00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:29,488 which could not be more different. 470 00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:35,060 Freddy, I don't even want to think about this, 471 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,596 but have you been lying to us about your dad? 472 00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:42,734 And worse, wasting the valuable time of Dr. Frasier Crane? 473 00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,736 You know what, guys? We don't need to talk about this. 474 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:46,438 - You know... - No, if I may... 475 00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:50,409 There is only one person to blame for this confusion, 476 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,677 and it's not Freddy. 477 00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:56,314 It's Freddy's mother. 478 00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:02,921 You see, Freddy's mother spoke so often about his father. 479 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,790 As the legend grew, the details of his life, 480 00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:07,626 as relayed by his mother, changed constantly. 481 00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:09,528 One minute a plumber, another a-a pipe fitter. 482 00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:12,764 And that is because she actually did not know herself. 483 00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:16,468 Because the truth is, she wasn't sure who his father was. 484 00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:23,075 She had narrowed it down to three. 485 00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:26,044 - Mamma mia. - Precisely. 486 00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:27,913 No, that's the plot of Mamma Mia! 487 00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:36,588 Pipe fitter from Dorchester, a plumber from Mattapan 488 00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:39,858 and a dashing psychiatrist from Cambridge. 489 00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:43,829 You see, only recently, DNA testing was completed. 490 00:22:43,895 --> 00:22:46,531 I know this because two weeks ago, 491 00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:48,700 I received a letter in Chicago... 492 00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:53,438 which is why I am here this evening in Boston. 493 00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:55,874 - You mean...? - Yes. 494 00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:57,642 Frederick Crane... 495 00:22:57,709 --> 00:22:59,778 I'm your father. 496 00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:09,654 Why is this called "scooch"? 497 00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:13,959 'Cause they can't legally call it Scotch. 498 00:23:14,025 --> 00:23:17,429 "Distilled in Orlando." 499 00:23:19,197 --> 00:23:21,466 So, how long before your friends figure out 500 00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:23,568 we've always had the same last name? 501 00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:25,103 Well, they didn't question us already living together 502 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:27,906 when they came to get the air hockey table, so... 503 00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:29,975 I think we're good. 504 00:23:30,041 --> 00:23:33,779 I know I can be a bit overbearing sometimes. 505 00:23:33,845 --> 00:23:37,649 And I know that it mostly comes from a good place. 506 00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:42,821 Sorry you left Harvard because you were in my shadow. 507 00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:45,190 I didn't. 508 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,858 I dropped out 'cause I hated it. 509 00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:48,927 Just didn't get along 510 00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:51,930 with any of those snooty, pretentious eggheads. 511 00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:54,499 They're not that bad. 512 00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:56,101 You make them sound like Yalies. 513 00:23:57,803 --> 00:24:00,572 I'm just more at home with the guys at the station. 514 00:24:00,639 --> 00:24:02,774 I like those guys. I'm like those guys. 515 00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:06,077 But my whole life, any time anyone finds out who my dad is, 516 00:24:06,144 --> 00:24:09,881 I stop being Freddy and start being Frasier Crane's son. 517 00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:12,217 And I didn't want that again. 518 00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:16,121 So you offed me. 519 00:24:16,188 --> 00:24:19,457 Maybe that's why I should stick around for a little. 520 00:24:19,524 --> 00:24:21,893 I mean, how many kids get a second chance 521 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,762 to live with their dead dad? 522 00:24:23,829 --> 00:24:25,630 So you're staying? 523 00:24:25,697 --> 00:24:27,899 You know, I would drink to that, except I-I can't 524 00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:29,868 have another taste of this solvent. 525 00:24:31,736 --> 00:24:33,171 You know, 526 00:24:33,238 --> 00:24:36,041 I've been thinking about your box of dirt, 527 00:24:36,107 --> 00:24:41,746 and I believe it will go nicely on top of the piano. 528 00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,882 Really? You don't think they'll clash? 529 00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:45,717 No, no, I think they'll complement each other. 530 00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:48,854 Besides, if I can make a chaise lounge après-Coco Chanel 531 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:53,091 work with your grandfather's duct-taped recliner, 532 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,726 I can make anything work. 533 00:24:55,927 --> 00:25:00,232 Fenway, meet Steinway. 534 00:25:05,871 --> 00:25:07,072 I'll get it. 535 00:25:07,138 --> 00:25:09,107 I'm gonna get a fresh glass. 536 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:10,642 This one's half-dissolved. 537 00:25:12,210 --> 00:25:14,145 - Eve. Uh... - Dr. Crane. 538 00:25:14,212 --> 00:25:17,048 About earlier, I-I just want to clear something up. 539 00:25:17,115 --> 00:25:20,652 Oh, that's all right, Eve. It's happened before. 540 00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:22,120 Other people figured out 541 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,089 that your voice puts their baby to sleep? 542 00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:26,791 Yes. 543 00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:31,630 - Could you... I'm just so tired. - Oh. Of course, of course. 544 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:35,233 Being a single mom is not as easy as everyone says it is. 545 00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:38,270 You may be a single mom, but... 546 00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:39,971 that doesn't mean that you're alone. 547 00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:42,674 Trust me when I tell you that Freddy and I are both here, 548 00:25:42,741 --> 00:25:44,676 no matter what you may need, and... 549 00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:47,178 You know, it reminds me of an observation 550 00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:49,781 made by one of the great philosophers that... 551 00:25:53,084 --> 00:25:56,054 Funny, my voice really does put John to sleep. 552 00:25:59,925 --> 00:26:01,726 And you. 553 00:26:04,796 --> 00:26:06,298 Well... 554 00:26:06,364 --> 00:26:09,067 Touchdown for Big Papi. 555 00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:18,910 ♪ ♪ 556 00:26:18,977 --> 00:26:21,012 ♪ Y'all know how this goes ♪ 557 00:26:21,980 --> 00:26:24,115 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 558 00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:27,752 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 559 00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:31,856 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 560 00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:34,726 ♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 561 00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:37,262 ♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪ 562 00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:40,231 ♪ But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads ♪ 563 00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:44,302 ♪ And scrambled eggs ♪ 564 00:26:44,369 --> 00:26:47,072 ♪ Life's callin' again ♪ 565 00:26:54,412 --> 00:26:56,348 ♪ We love you! ♪