1
00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:07,040
♪ ♪
2
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,754
♪ Baby Shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
3
00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:23,022
♪ Baby Shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
4
00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:25,492
♪ Baby Shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo, Baby Shark ♪
5
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,435
♪ Mommy Shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
6
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:37,470
♪ Mommy Shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
7
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:41,374
♪ Mommy Shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo, Mommy Shark ♪
8
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,343
♪ Daddy Shark... ♪
9
00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:54,554
- Good morning, you two.
- Hi.
10
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,423
Oh, I'm sorry, did
I wake the baby?
11
00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:58,525
Don't appreciate
you calling me that.
12
00:00:58,591 --> 00:00:59,793
No.
13
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:01,361
John's been up forever.
14
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,096
Just like me.
15
00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:04,631
Why won't he nap?
16
00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:07,400
I would strangle everyone
in this room for a nap.
17
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:09,502
Yes, well...
18
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,171
cherish these times.
19
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,540
They disappear
with a cruel swiftness.
20
00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:15,442
Mark my words.
21
00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:17,844
You will blink and find
yourself yearning for the days
22
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,447
when you could simply
rock your sweet child to sleep
23
00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:21,815
in your arms.
24
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,520
That was incredible.
25
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,355
Mm, seemed a
little cliché to me.
26
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,325
No, I think your dad's
voice put John to sleep.
27
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,194
Look at him.
28
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,362
It's like he's been
chloroformed.
29
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:41,801
You okay?
30
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,336
Well...
31
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:45,205
my back's killing me, my...
32
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,840
knees have locked up and...
33
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:48,875
I know there is a diaper
in there somewhere,
34
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,211
but for the love of
God, I can't find it.
35
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:54,180
You know, I have made
accommodation for you
36
00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:56,416
in the very large
apartment across the hall.
37
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,418
Your room there
has a Savoir bed,
38
00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:01,321
plumped with wool
from Khangai yaks,
39
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:03,756
which is so soft that
Mongolian herdsmen
40
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:07,193
can't ride them bareback
without slipping off asleep.
41
00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,862
I know, but...
42
00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:10,663
Eve lost her boyfriend.
She's alone with John.
43
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:13,433
How's she gonna feel if I
just suddenly leave, too?
44
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,268
You're a good friend.
45
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,136
I'm not looking for
a pat on the back.
46
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,639
Oh, no, you've got
a burp pad stuck to it.
47
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:23,176
Thank you for the
coffee, Dr. Crane.
48
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:24,878
Oh, of course. Here.
49
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,447
Can I ask you...
50
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,315
do you know why Freddy
won't move in with you?
51
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:30,650
You mean you
wouldn't mind if he did?
52
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,185
No.
53
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:33,620
I mean...
54
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:35,555
don't get me wrong,
I love the guy, but...
55
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,423
he snores like a paint mixer
56
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,259
and spends more
time getting ready
57
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,927
in the bathroom
than a runway model.
58
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,463
Does he know you feel this way?
59
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,731
Of course not.
60
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,499
Everything he's done for us?
61
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:49,335
I'm not gonna tell him that
the way he slurps coffee
62
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,871
makes me want to
throw him out a window.
63
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,744
Oh, thanks, Dad.
64
00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:59,312
You're welcome.
65
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,481
You know...
66
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,249
it seems that out of
a laudable concern
67
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:04,584
for one another's
feelings, you two are not
68
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:05,718
being honest about
what you'd like.
69
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,353
What?
70
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,489
- I am.
- Well, yeah, me, too.
71
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:12,458
You'd both prefer it if
Freddy lived with me.
72
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,794
- I wouldn't.
- Yeah, me, neither.
73
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,932
You spend too much
time in the bathroom,
74
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:20,934
and his slurping makes
you want to kill him.
75
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,936
- I've never heard him slurp.
- Yeah.
76
00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:26,205
I'm in and out of that
bathroom in like 55 minutes.
77
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,509
Dear God. Some
people will not be helped.
78
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,544
I could put the two of you
on a boat with life preservers
79
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,247
on top of a sand dune,
you'd still find a way to drown.
80
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:36,382
♪ Daddy Shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
81
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,718
♪ Daddy Shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
82
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,653
♪ Daddy Shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
83
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,955
♪ Daddy Shark ♪
84
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:43,756
♪ Grandma Shark, doo-doo... ♪
85
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:45,692
- Maybe I should get my dad.
- I'll help you pack.
86
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,594
♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo,
doo-doo, Grandma Shark... ♪
87
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:53,766
Thanks for helping, David.
88
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,468
Oh, no problem.
89
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:56,970
You and Uncle Frasier
are gonna have so much fun
90
00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:58,671
- living together.
- We'll see how it goes.
91
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,607
We haven't always
gotten along in the past.
92
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:02,675
Plus, moving in
with your dad at 33
93
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,377
is not exactly
catnip for ladies.
94
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,379
There's catnip for ladies?
95
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:11,017
I think I got this.
96
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,619
Why don't you run
down to the storage room
97
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:15,021
and grab my box
of, uh... pencils.
98
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,689
On it.
99
00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,995
- So, you...
- I'll get the lead out.
100
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:25,398
Of storage.
101
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,469
So, you...
102
00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:31,471
Actually, they're
made of graphite.
103
00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:34,741
So...
104
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,446
You work with firefighters...
105
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:42,782
men who can sprint
down a staircase
106
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,951
carrying another person
over their shoulders,
107
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,719
and rather than ask
them to help you move,
108
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:50,056
you ask your cousin, David,
109
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,658
whose greatest
athletic achievement
110
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:53,926
is almost crawling
into a hammock.
111
00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:57,497
You've been enjoying
your Savoir bed?
112
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:58,998
The, uh, yak mattress?
113
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,700
Surprisingly soft.
114
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,503
Trust me, once you go
yak, you never go back.
115
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:08,041
You know what, I am so
excited about living together.
116
00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:11,944
What do you say we have a
toast to this new cohabitation?
117
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:14,647
- Oh, sure. I got some Scotch, if that sounds good.
- Ooh. Great.
118
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,748
- I'll go get it.
- Top shelf.
119
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,517
Of course. Nothing less.
120
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:18,785
No, it's on the top
shelf of the hutch.
121
00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:19,919
Green plastic jug.
122
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:29,929
Dr. Crane!
123
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,497
Ah,
124
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,032
I'm so glad I caught you.
125
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,567
What was that thing you said
126
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,769
about how fast
the baby years go?
127
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,438
It was really beautiful.
128
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,773
Oh, I'm not sure I said
anything all that poetic.
129
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:44,911
Just a small lyrical reverie
about how all parents yearn
130
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:46,679
for that precious,
fleeting season
131
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:49,449
when they could drive
away their child's woes with...
132
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,783
soothing voice
133
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,919
and a lullaby.
134
00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,092
- You're magic.
- Hmm?
135
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,834
And another young
woman falls under your spell.
136
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:16,776
Damn it, Frasier, you
know how magnetic you are.
137
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,847
Ah. Freddy.
138
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,549
I would like your help
picking out a dining room table.
139
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:26,619
Now, I have found one
that I love with the davenport
140
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:29,889
and another that I absolutely
adore with the divan.
141
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:32,692
It's a real sofa's choice.
142
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:36,929
And-and-and that is...?
143
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,098
Weight bench.
144
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:40,733
And you're putting it here?
145
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,401
Seems like a pretty good spot.
146
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,036
Doesn't it make you
just a-a bit nervous,
147
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:47,073
putting a 100-pound dumbbell
near a world-class Steinway?
148
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,442
I will stay away from the piano.
149
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,447
Okay.
150
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:55,815
I'll put this in my bedroom.
151
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:56,916
Oh, dear.
152
00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:00,853
What, you don't
like the beer sign?
153
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,122
No, it's-it's very fun.
154
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,825
Um, just trying to think
of the best spot for it.
155
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,427
Um...
156
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,763
Do you know what goes
perfectly with this sign?
157
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:11,964
What?
158
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,667
Your weight bench.
159
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,436
Can't split up these
two kissing cousins.
160
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:18,504
They're meant for each other.
161
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,974
Okay, I'll put this
in my room, too.
162
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:24,710
And this is...?
163
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,113
Oh, yeah. It's dirt from Fenway.
164
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,781
World Series, 2013.
165
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:31,918
Mm. What a delightfully
peculiar little square.
166
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,620
You're not so bad yourself.
167
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:40,893
Yeah, it's a collector's item.
168
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,029
Oh. Well, then it deserves a...
169
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:44,831
a place of honor,
wouldn't you say?
170
00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,766
Uh...
171
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,001
I know. Right. How 'bout
here in the bookshelf?
172
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:50,970
Sure, yeah. I like that idea.
173
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,004
Yeah.
174
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,973
And we'll just do, uh...
175
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,641
Uh...
176
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,476
Let's throw that here.
177
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,949
You know what, Dad, if
I'm gonna be living here,
178
00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:04,884
it might be nice if I
didn't have to hide
179
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,752
- everything that I own.
- You don't.
180
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,488
Anything that doesn't clearly
go better in your bedroom,
181
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:10,990
I will welcome with open arms.
182
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,692
I want you to feel
comfortable in your...
183
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:14,627
Don't sit there!
184
00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:18,064
Those are Christian
Lacroix pillows.
185
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,999
So we can't sit on the couch?
186
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,901
Not in jeans.
187
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:30,810
Huh?
188
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,612
There he is.
189
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:35,047
- Look at us, sharing a room again.
- Ah.
190
00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:36,883
Just like our Oxford days.
191
00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:38,551
The boys are back.
192
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,052
Watch out, ladies... the
lads are on the loose.
193
00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:41,754
Mothers, lock up your daughters.
194
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,122
Daughters, lock up your mothers.
195
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,524
Oh, who are we kidding?
196
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:47,026
The only girls we
could ever curl up with
197
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,194
- were the Brontë sisters.
- Mm.
198
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,096
Emily Dickinson for a quickie.
199
00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:51,564
Oh, yes.
200
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:52,665
American girls, huh?
201
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:53,933
Is that Freddy?
202
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,201
Yes.
203
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,969
His brief stint at Harvard.
204
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,905
He's so smart.
205
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:02,775
I just don't understand
what happened.
206
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,577
You see, this is why
I don't have children.
207
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:05,811
You have four.
208
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,079
Well, you know what I mean.
209
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,917
- Ah, Dr. Crane.
- Oh.
210
00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:12,919
I'm so sorry we couldn't
get you your own office.
211
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,787
Oh. No, no, I wouldn't
have it any other way.
212
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,989
But if one should open
up, just let me know.
213
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:20,059
Oh. Well, if you need
some more space,
214
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,228
- I'm sure we could move Alan.
- Mm.
215
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,631
Maybe into an unused cadaver
drawer at the medical school.
216
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,566
Yes, you can put
me in the drawer
217
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,802
right next to your love life.
218
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,904
When's the last time you
had a woman on your arm
219
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:34,240
who wasn't placing a blood
pressure cuff around it?
220
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,978
Dr. Crane, we are very
eager to get the word out
221
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:41,580
about our exciting new faculty.
222
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,349
Any chance you have some time
223
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,652
for a short interview with The
Boston Globe this evening?
224
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,288
The limelight.
225
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:52,892
I thought I'd be able to leave
her hungry glow behind me
226
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,160
in Chicago.
227
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,262
"I would give all my
fame for a pot of ale
228
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,830
and safety."
229
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,167
Gotcha. Well, if
you're not into it,
230
00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:02,868
I'll just call The
Boston Globe and...
231
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,103
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
232
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,871
I mean, this is
my cross to bear.
233
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,040
I mean, my desire for privacy
234
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,608
should be none of your concern.
235
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,344
Eh. Professor Huntview's
also a very big get.
236
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:12,912
I said I'd do it.
237
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,614
Anything to help put
Harvard on the map.
238
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:17,917
Mm.
239
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,790
I've been waiting
all day for you.
240
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,160
Eve.
241
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:29,662
Oh, my God.
242
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:30,930
Please...
243
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,131
I can't pretend anymore.
244
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,834
I-I just need one
thing from you.
245
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,002
I'm desperate.
246
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,872
No amount of desperation
will make this okay.
247
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,074
I have to go inside.
248
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,079
Freddy.
249
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,180
Smells great in here.
250
00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:49,382
Oh, I made dinner.
251
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:50,649
Here, have a drink.
252
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,651
Thank you.
253
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,657
- You bought a dining table?
- Yeah.
254
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,359
Well, you said you wanted
my help picking one out.
255
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,962
- Yes, but...
- And you also said that if I found something
256
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,698
that didn't clearly
go in my bedroom,
257
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,233
you would welcome it.
258
00:11:09,468 --> 00:11:11,170
I did, in fact, say that.
259
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,808
It appears to have
an electrical cord.
260
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,246
Plug it in.
261
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,795
It's an air hockey table!
262
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:40,299
By your logic, you think it
doubles as a dining room table.
263
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,334
Oh, yeah. Sure.
It's space-saving.
264
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,170
I mean, we need
an air hockey table.
265
00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:45,337
Indeed.
266
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:46,839
And we also need a dining table.
267
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,841
So, you know, two for one.
268
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,476
Don't you love the colors?
269
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:52,711
Which ones?
270
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,747
It appears to have all of them.
271
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,150
Oh! Dad.
272
00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,151
Please.
273
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,252
Use a puck.
274
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,931
Pass the salt, please.
275
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,033
Nothing would make me happier.
276
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:30,483
Mm.
277
00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:32,318
You're right. This could
use some salt. Would you?
278
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,365
Freddy, this is all starting to
feel a bit passive-aggressive.
279
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,900
If you're trying
to make a point,
280
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,235
I wish you would just make it.
281
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:50,436
Okay.
282
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:54,306
Goal!
283
00:12:58,144 --> 00:12:59,812
I'm assuming
that this is revenge
284
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,847
for not wanting your weight
bench in the living room.
285
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,916
Or any of my things.
286
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,451
Only because, happily,
I can provide you
287
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,952
with some nicer things.
288
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:08,787
To you, they're
nicer. I like my things.
289
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:11,090
Well, it's just that
they're a bit, um...
290
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:12,491
Embarrassing.
291
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,460
No! No, no, they're
not embarrassing.
292
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,929
You don't want someone
walking into your apartment
293
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:18,898
seeing my stupid, garish things.
294
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,799
You find them embarrassing.
295
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:23,435
In fact, I'm not so sure you
don't find me embarrassing.
296
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:25,337
Oh, that is
absolutely ludicrous.
297
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:28,207
It's just that I believe that my
Loetz Austrian Art Nouveau
298
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:31,076
iridescent glass vase
might clash ever so slightly
299
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,078
with your box of dirt.
300
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,880
That box of dirt
301
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:37,016
is from Fenway 2013.
302
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:38,918
The Sox were in that dirt.
303
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:42,021
I want to understand
why that's important.
304
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:47,459
But to me, it just sounds
like a laundry problem.
305
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:51,197
David Ortiz made
MVP of the World Series
306
00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:53,065
in that dirt. "Big Papi."
307
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:55,868
Well, good for him...
308
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,203
big sonny.
309
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:00,940
What? What? Where are you going?
310
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,875
To the bar. I'm gonna
meet some friends.
311
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:05,978
And when I get back, I think I
should move back in with Eve.
312
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:08,914
I mean, you like the idea of
us living together and bonding,
313
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,849
but you obviously
don't want me here.
314
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,084
Of course I do!
315
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,220
Freddy!
316
00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,922
And that's the
end of the period!
317
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:26,365
Is that reporter here yet?
I've brought two looks.
318
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,535
One serious, one fun. Both gray.
319
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,537
Frasier, look at this.
320
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,273
Found a wonderful picture of
us both from our Oxford days.
321
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,308
Oh, Alan, the memories.
322
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,944
I love it.
323
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,446
That's not me.
324
00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:42,381
Really?
325
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,083
This isn't even you.
326
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:47,253
Huh.
327
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:53,892
Are you all right?
328
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:56,462
Oh, it's Freddy.
329
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,564
He's regressing
into an angry teen.
330
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,266
What's he angry about?
331
00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:02,167
That I don't love Scotch
out of a plastic jug
332
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:05,337
or a dining set designed
by Dave and Buster.
333
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,072
You ask me, it's all
a bit performative.
334
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:09,008
Honestly, it's
exaggerated disdain
335
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,343
for anything remotely tasteful.
336
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,112
Just like my father.
337
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,282
Oh, I see what's going on here.
338
00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:18,317
Oh. What does that mean?
339
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,519
- Pretty obvious, isn't it?
- Please, Alan, I'm not in the mood.
340
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:24,023
All right, all
right. Not my call.
341
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:28,027
I'll just write a few things
down in case I forget.
342
00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,496
You can do what you
want. It's no concern of mine.
343
00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:35,501
What are you writing?
344
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,237
I don't care.
345
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,374
What did you write?
346
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,277
Let me guess.
347
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:46,612
You think Frederick
gets under my skin
348
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,180
because he reminds
me of my father.
349
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:50,149
Some trite
observation like that.
350
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:52,651
Not a bad thought,
Alan, actually.
351
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,521
Can you blame me? I
mean, I loved my father,
352
00:15:55,587 --> 00:16:00,125
but he cringed at
absolutely everything I am.
353
00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:02,194
Can you imagine what
that's like, to have a father
354
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,496
that's that
embarrassed by you...
355
00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:09,068
Okay.
356
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,303
Okay, you made your point.
357
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:14,239
I'm doing the same
thing with Freddy.
358
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,408
He just wants a father
who accepts him.
359
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,747
Oh, I see what you've done.
360
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,583
It's a neat little parlor trick.
You get me to rev myself up
361
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,553
while you write down
absolutely nothing at all, you...
362
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:34,393
"Just wants a father
who accepts him."
363
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,498
How the hell did you do that?
364
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,700
Frasier, I've known
you for decades.
365
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,169
I'm an eminent psychiatrist.
366
00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:46,338
Plus, on the other side, I
wrote down "mommy issues"
367
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,040
just to cover my bases.
368
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,777
I can't believe I'm
confessing this,
369
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,279
but I hit my son over the
head with my Art Nouveau vase,
370
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,549
suffocated him with my
Christian Lacroix pillows.
371
00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,685
God.
372
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,087
- I hate to admit it, but it's true.
- Uh, Frasier...
373
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:03,589
No, I've got to get
this off my chest.
374
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:06,225
I lured my unsuspecting
son into my apartment
375
00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:09,661
with false promises, and
now there's no trace of him left.
376
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,031
God, I'm a monster.
377
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,403
Dr. Crane, this is
Jeneé Whitacker
378
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,071
from The Boston Globe.
379
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,242
Please, I have a family.
380
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:26,712
Excuse me, ladies. I
have a hatchet to bury!
381
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,123
Excuse me, sorry.
Uh, excuse me, uh,
382
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:39,458
I'm-I'm looking for a...
383
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:42,161
Oh, my God.
384
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:44,563
Do you know who you are?
385
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,133
- You're Frasier Crane.
- I am aware of that, yes.
386
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,103
- I'm actually looking...
- My wife used to watch your show all the time.
387
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,672
It gave her the tools to
go after what she wanted.
388
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,175
Uh, ex-wife, I should say.
389
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,744
- I hope she and Leslie are happy.
- Mm-hmm.
390
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,547
And your show helped me
pick up better on social cues.
391
00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:02,848
Oh, very flattering. I'm glad.
392
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,150
As like when I'm
interrupting too much.
393
00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:07,152
Which I understand. You
should be very proud, but I...
394
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:09,788
You know who you'd
be great for? Our buddy.
395
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,523
His dad died when he was a kid,
396
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,858
and he still
can't talk about it.
397
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,526
Oh, gosh, well, I-I'm
sorry to hear that,
398
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,395
- but...
- Oh, there he is. Hey, Freddy,
399
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,130
look who's here.
400
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:21,700
It's TV's Frasier Crane.
401
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,302
Yeah.
402
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,237
Hey.
403
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:27,105
Check it out. He's
friggin' starstruck.
404
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:29,608
It's a pleasure to make
your acquaintance.
405
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:31,176
Sorry to hear about your father
406
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,712
dying when you
were just a child.
407
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,415
Yeah, I don't like to
talk about that too much.
408
00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:38,650
Goddamn it, Freddy.
409
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,752
I'm not gonna let you be a
prisoner of your childhood.
410
00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:42,821
Excuse me, Dr. Crane.
411
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:45,657
Now, process your grief
while we get a bucket of beers.
412
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:47,125
Yeah.
413
00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:50,863
What you doing here?
414
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:53,332
Surprised to see me
risen from the grave?
415
00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:54,533
Dad...
416
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,201
I'm still talking, Oedipus.
417
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,509
So, this is why you didn't
ask your firemen buddies
418
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,344
to help you move.
419
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:09,448
Because you're too, oh,
what was that word you used
420
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:12,317
to describe how I feel
about you, when actually,
421
00:19:12,384 --> 00:19:14,720
it describes how
you feel about me?
422
00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:17,389
- It's "embarrassed."
- It's "embarrassed."
423
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,425
I hope you're hungry,
'cause this irony is delicious.
424
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,696
- How we doing?
- Oh. Yeah. Wow.
425
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,832
Dr. Crane just
blasted open doors
426
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,333
I didn't even know were there.
427
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,568
Thanks so much, Doc.
428
00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,236
We'll let you get
on with your night.
429
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:34,273
No, no, no, no, hold on.
We've just gotten started.
430
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,842
- So, tell me, Frankie...
- It's "Freddy."
431
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,811
Freddy. Um, tell me
about this father of yours.
432
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:41,813
Oh, yeah, I-I don't
remember that much.
433
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,816
You told me he was a
pipe fitter from Dorchester.
434
00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:46,385
Other than that, you said he was
435
00:19:46,451 --> 00:19:47,886
this completely
forgettable nobody
436
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,556
who really never made
an impression on anyone.
437
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:53,559
I-I don't think I
said that, Moose.
438
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,762
No, I remember 'cause
it really broke my heart.
439
00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,264
- I'm kind of an empath.
- Mm.
440
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:01,733
And the way your dad died,
441
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,771
impaled by that falling
radio antenna. Mm.
442
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:08,607
No symbolism to unpack there.
443
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:12,511
Sounds like your father was
a big disappointment to you.
444
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:14,880
No, he...
445
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:18,450
He could sometimes just
be a little hard to be around.
446
00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:19,918
How so?
447
00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:21,820
Oh, I don't know, as a
totally random example,
448
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,356
uh, let's say he's
the kind of guy who,
449
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:27,392
if you're out with some friends,
maybe having a few beers,
450
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:30,662
suddenly he shows up and
takes over the entire room.
451
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,431
Jerk.
452
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:37,703
Must have been rather difficult
for you, living in that shadow.
453
00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:39,504
It was.
454
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,807
Everybody was always
so wowed by him.
455
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:44,576
I mean, I know I was. That...
456
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,578
That didn't leave
a lot of space for...
457
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,781
For you.
458
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,619
And then I guess I
kind of lashed out.
459
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:55,621
Who wouldn't?
460
00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:57,489
It's understandable.
461
00:20:57,556 --> 00:21:00,592
Your father left no room in
the home for your personality.
462
00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:07,399
If he were alive today, I'm sure
he would say that he was sorry.
463
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:13,538
I hate to poke holes,
464
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,607
but if your dad died
when you were so little
465
00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:17,309
you don't remember him,
466
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:20,679
how were you overwhelmed
by his big personality?
467
00:21:20,746 --> 00:21:24,916
And also, your dad was a
pipe fitter from Dorchester?
468
00:21:24,983 --> 00:21:27,019
'Cause you told me he was
a plumber from Mattapan,
469
00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:29,488
which could not
be more different.
470
00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:35,060
Freddy, I don't even
want to think about this,
471
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,596
but have you been lying
to us about your dad?
472
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:42,734
And worse, wasting the
valuable time of Dr. Frasier Crane?
473
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,736
You know what, guys? We
don't need to talk about this.
474
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:46,438
- You know...
- No, if I may...
475
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:50,409
There is only one person
to blame for this confusion,
476
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,677
and it's not Freddy.
477
00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:56,314
It's Freddy's mother.
478
00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:02,921
You see, Freddy's mother
spoke so often about his father.
479
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,790
As the legend grew,
the details of his life,
480
00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:07,626
as relayed by his mother,
changed constantly.
481
00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:09,528
One minute a plumber,
another a-a pipe fitter.
482
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:12,764
And that is because she
actually did not know herself.
483
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:16,468
Because the truth is, she
wasn't sure who his father was.
484
00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:23,075
She had narrowed
it down to three.
485
00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:26,044
- Mamma mia.
- Precisely.
486
00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:27,913
No, that's the plot
of Mamma Mia!
487
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:36,588
Pipe fitter from Dorchester,
a plumber from Mattapan
488
00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:39,858
and a dashing psychiatrist
from Cambridge.
489
00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:43,829
You see, only recently,
DNA testing was completed.
490
00:22:43,895 --> 00:22:46,531
I know this because
two weeks ago,
491
00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:48,700
I received a
letter in Chicago...
492
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:53,438
which is why I am here
this evening in Boston.
493
00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:55,874
- You mean...?
- Yes.
494
00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:57,642
Frederick Crane...
495
00:22:57,709 --> 00:22:59,778
I'm your father.
496
00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:09,654
Why is this called "scooch"?
497
00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:13,959
'Cause they can't
legally call it Scotch.
498
00:23:14,025 --> 00:23:17,429
"Distilled in Orlando."
499
00:23:19,197 --> 00:23:21,466
So, how long before
your friends figure out
500
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:23,568
we've always had
the same last name?
501
00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:25,103
Well, they didn't question
us already living together
502
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:27,906
when they came to get
the air hockey table, so...
503
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:29,975
I think we're good.
504
00:23:30,041 --> 00:23:33,779
I know I can be a bit
overbearing sometimes.
505
00:23:33,845 --> 00:23:37,649
And I know that it mostly
comes from a good place.
506
00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:42,821
Sorry you left Harvard
because you were in my shadow.
507
00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:45,190
I didn't.
508
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,858
I dropped out 'cause I hated it.
509
00:23:46,925 --> 00:23:48,927
Just didn't get along
510
00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:51,930
with any of those snooty,
pretentious eggheads.
511
00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:54,499
They're not that bad.
512
00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:56,101
You make them sound like Yalies.
513
00:23:57,803 --> 00:24:00,572
I'm just more at home
with the guys at the station.
514
00:24:00,639 --> 00:24:02,774
I like those guys.
I'm like those guys.
515
00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:06,077
But my whole life, any time
anyone finds out who my dad is,
516
00:24:06,144 --> 00:24:09,881
I stop being Freddy and
start being Frasier Crane's son.
517
00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:12,217
And I didn't want that again.
518
00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:16,121
So you offed me.
519
00:24:16,188 --> 00:24:19,457
Maybe that's why I should
stick around for a little.
520
00:24:19,524 --> 00:24:21,893
I mean, how many kids
get a second chance
521
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,762
to live with their dead dad?
522
00:24:23,829 --> 00:24:25,630
So you're staying?
523
00:24:25,697 --> 00:24:27,899
You know, I would drink
to that, except I-I can't
524
00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:29,868
have another
taste of this solvent.
525
00:24:31,736 --> 00:24:33,171
You know,
526
00:24:33,238 --> 00:24:36,041
I've been thinking
about your box of dirt,
527
00:24:36,107 --> 00:24:41,746
and I believe it will go
nicely on top of the piano.
528
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,882
Really? You don't
think they'll clash?
529
00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:45,717
No, no, I think they'll
complement each other.
530
00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:48,854
Besides, if I can make a chaise
lounge après-Coco Chanel
531
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:53,091
work with your grandfather's
duct-taped recliner,
532
00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,726
I can make anything work.
533
00:24:55,927 --> 00:25:00,232
Fenway, meet Steinway.
534
00:25:05,871 --> 00:25:07,072
I'll get it.
535
00:25:07,138 --> 00:25:09,107
I'm gonna get a fresh glass.
536
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:10,642
This one's half-dissolved.
537
00:25:12,210 --> 00:25:14,145
- Eve. Uh...
- Dr. Crane.
538
00:25:14,212 --> 00:25:17,048
About earlier, I-I just
want to clear something up.
539
00:25:17,115 --> 00:25:20,652
Oh, that's all right, Eve.
It's happened before.
540
00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:22,120
Other people figured out
541
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,089
that your voice puts
their baby to sleep?
542
00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:26,791
Yes.
543
00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:31,630
- Could you... I'm just so tired.
- Oh. Of course, of course.
544
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:35,233
Being a single mom is not
as easy as everyone says it is.
545
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:38,270
You may be a single mom, but...
546
00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:39,971
that doesn't mean
that you're alone.
547
00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:42,674
Trust me when I tell you that
Freddy and I are both here,
548
00:25:42,741 --> 00:25:44,676
no matter what you
may need, and...
549
00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:47,178
You know, it reminds
me of an observation
550
00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:49,781
made by one of the
great philosophers that...
551
00:25:53,084 --> 00:25:56,054
Funny, my voice really
does put John to sleep.
552
00:25:59,925 --> 00:26:01,726
And you.
553
00:26:04,796 --> 00:26:06,298
Well...
554
00:26:06,364 --> 00:26:09,067
Touchdown for Big Papi.
555
00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:18,910
♪ ♪
556
00:26:18,977 --> 00:26:21,012
♪ Y'all know how this goes ♪
557
00:26:21,980 --> 00:26:24,115
♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a-callin' ♪
558
00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:27,752
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
559
00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:31,856
♪ And maybe I
seem a bit confused ♪
560
00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:34,726
♪ Yeah, maybe, but
I got you pegged ♪
561
00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:37,262
♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪
562
00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:40,231
♪ But I don't know what to
do with those tossed salads ♪
563
00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:44,302
♪ And scrambled eggs ♪
564
00:26:44,369 --> 00:26:47,072
♪ Life's callin' again ♪
565
00:26:54,412 --> 00:26:56,348
♪ We love you! ♪