1 00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:07,041 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,181 Cherished friends, family. 3 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,183 Thank you for volunteering your time 4 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:16,617 on this momentous occasion: 5 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:19,720 giving notes on the first draft of my memoir. 6 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,389 "Cherished friends"? 7 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,057 You made us sign NDAs. 8 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:26,394 Yes, well, one can't be too careful. 9 00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,062 Now, I thought some visual aids might help. 10 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,899 Something to document your input. There we are. 11 00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:33,467 FREDDY: "What we're loving." 12 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,236 Well, not the subtlety. 13 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,805 Oh, all right. Admittedly, I am 14 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,173 burning with anticipation. 15 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,708 Is that the only thing that's burning? 16 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,743 My baked brie en croûte! 17 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,878 Oh, my God. 18 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:48,116 I thought this was next week. I haven't read it yet. 19 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,517 This is my worst nightmare. 20 00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:52,686 Oh, please, it's not a test. It's just 21 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,755 - a friendly gathering. - Have you read it? 22 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,990 Of course I have. What friend wouldn't? 23 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,429 Look, Frasier's probably feeling vulnerable, 24 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,364 so just make up something positive and thoughtful. 25 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,032 Like what? 26 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:08,502 Well, I-I plan on saying, um, I loved how the themes 27 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,539 of his childhood reverberated throughout his life. 28 00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,741 Really is a richly woven tapestry. 29 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:17,111 All right, well, uh, the backup brie is in the oven. 30 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:22,183 All right. So, who'd like to go first then? Uh... Olivia? 31 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,185 Me? 32 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,956 Um... well... 33 00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:30,424 I liked... 34 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,863 ...how the themes of your childhood... 35 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:40,634 ...reverberated throughout your life. 36 00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:44,438 I thought... it was like a... 37 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:47,641 richly woven tapestry. 38 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,811 FRASIER: Oh. 39 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,980 Thank you very much, Olivia. 40 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,417 That's-that's very nice indeed and certainly 41 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,851 "what we're loving." 42 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,254 - Thief! - I'm so sorry. I didn't... 43 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,623 - How could you do that to me? - I don't know why. It just came out of my mouth. 44 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,657 FRASIER: Alan. 45 00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:05,058 What did you think? 46 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,628 Oh. Um... 47 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,897 Well... (sighs) 48 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,265 Actually... 49 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,433 Did you even read it? 50 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,635 Of course I read it. 51 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,770 And I... 52 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:21,041 too thought it was a richly woven tapestry. 53 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,312 Alan. Stealing from Olivia-- 54 00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:25,513 shame on you. 55 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,315 Of course you didn't read it. 56 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,517 You know who did read it? My dad. 57 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,385 He sends his notes because he couldn't be here. 58 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,188 Oh. Well, how very kind of Niles. 59 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,823 First note: uh, "Ten pages in, 60 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,258 "and I already suspect this memoir 61 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,792 "should be paired with a good port. 62 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,528 "So, go ahead, take it down to the docks, 63 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,830 and toss it into the brackish water." 64 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,599 That seems unnecessarily ornate. 65 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:48,202 - That's his second note. - Yes, all right, give me that. 66 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,337 - (oven timer chimes) - Oh. 67 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,505 Oh, excuse me. (chuckles) 68 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,607 Brie is calling. (laughs) 69 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,677 (sighs) So sorry. The babysitter was late. 70 00:02:56,810 --> 00:03:00,748 Once again, I have over-browned the brie. 71 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:01,815 I'm sure it's fine. Can we... 72 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,651 - It's on fire. - (groans) 73 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,854 I have no idea what to say about his book. 74 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,722 - You didn't read it? - Of course I read it. 75 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,991 See? Even the waitress has read it. 76 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,995 Do you guys call me "the waitress" behind my back? 77 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,464 Yes. 78 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:19,800 Of course I read it. 79 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,803 It's just so dense. Like, what does 80 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,305 "a rhapsody of elation 81 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,840 envelops my being" even mean? (chuckles) 82 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,175 That means he's happy. 83 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,843 Then why can't he just say, "I'm happy"? 84 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,813 Well, why can't Hamlet just say, "I'm sad"? 85 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:36,016 Can you compare it to some other literary works? 86 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,185 My dad compared it to Dante's Inferno. 87 00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:41,822 Sorry, he compared it to being in Dante's Inferno. 88 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,191 I guess I can try it. But the only book 89 00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:47,595 I've been reading recently is The Very Hungry Caterpillar. 90 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,096 - (laughs) - FREDDY: Fire's out. 91 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,399 We did it! (chuckles) Well, he did it. But... 92 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:54,835 (laughs) All right then, who's next? Um, Eve? 93 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,838 Uh, I thought that your memoir 94 00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:00,040 reminded me of a great book 95 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,544 I just read about a very hungry... insect 96 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,746 undergoing an incredible 97 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,615 transformation. 98 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,917 You're comparing my book 99 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,653 to Kafka's Metamorphosis. 100 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,222 - Uh-huh. - FRASIER: See, you know, I had 101 00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:16,624 hoped for Dickensian at most, 102 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:19,293 but Kafkaesque? (chuckles): My God. 103 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:22,430 Eve, you are a very keen critic 104 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,965 and a good friend. Alan. 105 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:29,036 Frederick, you've been sort of suspiciously quiet. 106 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,138 I mean, what-what were your impressions? 107 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:35,142 Oh, yeah, no, it's, uh, super... good. 108 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,210 "Super good"? 109 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,547 - That's it? - DAVID: Uh, if it's helpful, 110 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,949 my dad wrote, "Overwrought, overwritten, over it." 111 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,751 I didn't even send him the memoir! 112 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,919 - You're welcome. - (groans) 113 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,621 Frederick, please, please, uh, 114 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,391 what might I have done to make it 115 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,925 "super-duper good"? 116 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:55,262 You know, I do vaguely recall something from, uh, 117 00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:58,599 I think it was chapter three, last paragraph, last sentence. 118 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:01,101 You mean where I wrote, 119 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,604 "I'm very proud of my son, Frederick"? 120 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,673 How does it end? 121 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,009 "...my funny little alien." 122 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,746 That's an interesting way to describe your own son. 123 00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,749 "Alien." You know, it's less something close to your heart 124 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,985 and more something that bursts out of your ribcage. 125 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,286 (Frasier laughs) 126 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:21,054 No, it's just a term of endearment. 127 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,156 I mean, come on, we're so different 128 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,592 in-in al-almost every way. 129 00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,259 I mean, you don't like normal things 130 00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:29,930 like b-ballet, chamber music, haikus about the sea. 131 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,434 Yeah, Freddy, why can't you be cool and relatable 132 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:34,635 like your dad? 133 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,337 You know what, Dad? Just forget it. Doesn't matter. 134 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,540 Who-who cares if we have zero common interests? 135 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,174 Well, I care. 136 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,444 I mean, you brought it up, so it's obviously on your mind, 137 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:44,845 and we should do something about it. 138 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:48,015 So you'll change the word "alien"? 139 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,984 Hmm. 140 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,255 It's such a terrific sentence. Um... 141 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,625 But I-I know what we should do. 142 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,359 Yeah, let's figure out something 143 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,429 that the two of us would like to do together. 144 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:04,331 Something not so alien, huh? 145 00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,699 (chuckles) All right. 146 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,300 Surely we can think of something. 147 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,670 Mm, you know what really bonded me and my mom 148 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,539 when I was a teenager? 149 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,507 Smoking. 150 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,743 No bad ideas. 151 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,545 How about "teach David how to swim"? 152 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,613 Bad idea. 153 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,815 Of course they could run a junkyard together. 154 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,885 It's historically a father/son activity. 155 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:28,321 I feel like we keep coming back to "teach David how to swim." 156 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,057 No one wants to teach you to swim. 157 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,426 - (sighs) - How about squash? 158 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,027 - Karaoke? - Karaoke? 159 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:37,264 Oh, yes, we could sing jazz standards. 160 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,266 Okay, karaoke's out. Uh... 161 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,668 Pickleball. 162 00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:42,402 FRASIER: No, pedestrian. 163 00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,672 How about... 164 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,106 squash? 165 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,541 Squash? 166 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:51,612 Squash. Olivia, that's a lovely idea. 167 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,115 Why didn't we think of that sooner? 168 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,384 You are a bad lady. 169 00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:01,254 Yeah, I could do squash. I mean, I've played before. 170 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:04,257 Yes, of course. Squash. Tomorrow. 171 00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,226 (laughs) Now, 172 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:07,695 if you'll all excuse me, 173 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,930 I have got to go and change. 174 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,599 My agent is taking me to the opera tonight. 175 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,333 We're going to see Tosca. 176 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,735 Going to be spending the evening 177 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,869 with one of history's greatest villains: 178 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,205 psychopathic, power-hungry... 179 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:19,172 Scarpia. 180 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,541 ...Bebe Glazer! 181 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,676 (thunder rumbling) 182 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,620 Frasier Crane. 183 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:46,399 The voice, the brain, the bod. 184 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,935 Well, I... (chuckles) 185 00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,870 My favorite client, and 186 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,639 the man who broke my heart. 187 00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:53,106 Oh, Bebe. 188 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:56,076 We spent the night together once just decades ago. 189 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:59,046 No, darling, when you quit your TV show. 190 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,081 You made Bebe sad. 191 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,583 (chuckles) Well... 192 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:06,019 They offered a five-year extension, triple the money. 193 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,420 I wanted to move on to new pastures. 194 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,822 With that contract, 195 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,357 you could have bought a hundred pastures. 196 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:12,926 Ah, well, well... I'm happy here now in Boston. 197 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,494 Teaching. 198 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:18,165 And writing my memoir. 199 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,833 So, what did you think? 200 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,935 Oh, I love it, love it, love it. 201 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,837 Can't wait to read it. 202 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,574 I-I thought a junior agent 203 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,508 could tackle your memoir while I focus 204 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:31,244 - on your TV career! - No, Bebe. Never again. 205 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,512 You tried that on me once. 206 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,781 You pawned off to some underling. 207 00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,148 Fine. 208 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,684 I'll read it. 209 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,086 I hope you don't mind, I've invited 210 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,221 - my daughter Phoebe to join us. - Oh. 211 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,057 She just drove up from New York. She'll be here any second. 212 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,292 I didn't know you had a daughter. 213 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,526 Well, I also had a turtle, darling, 214 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:49,429 but you're the one with the memoir. 215 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,166 I think you two will get along famously. 216 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:55,703 Phoebe's an Ivy Leaguer. 217 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:59,506 - She enjoys the finer things in life, like opera. - Mm. Yeah. 218 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,408 Sounds like the exact opposite of my son. 219 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,076 He would never go to the opera with me. 220 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,212 I can't say I enjoy it much, 221 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,881 - but I do love a good tragedy. - Mm. 222 00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:10,718 When Tosca throws herself out of that window, 223 00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,920 I am on my feet. 224 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,488 So sorry I'm late. The usher... 225 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,390 Mwah. Mwah. 226 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,726 The usher misread my ticket 227 00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,594 and took me to the most frightful place. 228 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:21,995 Mezzanine. 229 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,330 I felt like an Irish peasant 230 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:25,866 packed into steerage on the Titanic. 231 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,468 Ooh, I like her. (laughs) 232 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,204 Phoebe, precious, meet Frasier Crane. 233 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,740 Enchanted to meet you. 234 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,107 Such a pleasure. 235 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,976 Please. 236 00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:40,447 Well, do I spy the same opera glasses? 237 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,816 Oh, yes. I adore a box seat. 238 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,417 It forces me to bring these 239 00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,620 - to live out the full opera cliché. - (laughs) Yes. 240 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,789 The only thing missing is a deformed freak in the rafters 241 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,625 trying to kidnap the soprano. (laughs) 242 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,226 God, I hate Phantom. 243 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,695 Oh, so do I. (laughs) 244 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,631 But I suppose the tourists have to watch something. 245 00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:00,033 - (laughs) Oh. - (opera music playing) 246 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,573 OLIVIA: Alan, talk to me. 247 00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,275 Why? So you can steal my words 248 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,710 and claim them as your own? 249 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,979 No, I've learned that lesson twice. 250 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,613 I'm sorry. 251 00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:17,685 I'm... I have always hated it when people copied my homework. 252 00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:19,887 It's just... 253 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:23,523 getting the reward without any effort. (squeals) 254 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,260 I-I swear it'll never happen again. 255 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,897 But, ooh, the rush! 256 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:34,234 Really sounds like it's gonna happen again. 257 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:36,670 Hey, how'd the game go? 258 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,839 It was awesome. We dominated. 259 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,308 We destroyed people in their 50s, 60s 260 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,976 - and even 70s. - (Frasier chuckles) 261 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,344 Yes, in fact, if I knew the names 262 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,313 of two famous squash players, I'd say, 263 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,982 "Look out, you two. We're coming for you." 264 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,417 (laughs) 265 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:53,020 Nice shorts, Dr. Crane. 266 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,888 - Very courageous. - FRASIER: Thank you. 267 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,024 These are traditional squash whites. 268 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,258 In fact, next time, 269 00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,426 I'm hoping Freddy joins me 270 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,794 in the spirit of the game. 271 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,529 No, no, no, I like the spirit, 272 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,931 I just wish the spirit covered 273 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:06,800 - a little more thigh. - (laughs) 274 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,168 I had a good time today. 275 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,369 Hey, you still on for racquet shopping later? 276 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,403 - Absolutely. - All right. 277 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,072 Perfect ending to a perfect day. 278 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,374 The entire thing was hell. 279 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,210 But Freddy said you won every game. 280 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,313 Yes, we did, but we had absolutely no chemistry. 281 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,349 We're completely different on the court. I mean, 282 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,917 I play with my heart on my sleeve, 283 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,153 living and dying by every point. 284 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:29,556 He's just so even-keeled, so stone-faced, 285 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,060 so... alien. 286 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,363 It was nothing like when I used to play with Niles. 287 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,065 Speaking of my dad, 288 00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:40,300 I do have the rest of his notes. 289 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,304 - Are any of them the least bit constructive? - DAVID: Well, uh... Ooh. 290 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,506 Let's see. Here's one. Uh, "Great for the beach, 291 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:49,709 - specifically Normandy, 1944." - Thank you, David. 292 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,511 Oh, I... Oh, let's just try another. 293 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,080 "A triumph of the human spirit, 294 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,415 on my part, to get through it." Uh... 295 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:56,884 "A perfect coffee table book, 296 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,318 if one of the legs is uneven." 297 00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,153 "I could put it down, 298 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,654 a real page-burner." 299 00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,723 Uh, "Daphne thought it was pretty good." 300 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,592 Thank you, David! 301 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:07,594 (sighs) 302 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,029 I'm sure there's something else 303 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:09,997 you can try with Freddy. 304 00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:11,564 No, there is nothing else. 305 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,501 You know, last night, my agent's daughter came along. 306 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,569 We had such effortless chemistry. 307 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,438 We had a-a lovely evening together. 308 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,408 Why is it I can-I can get along with a perfect stranger 309 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,743 - and not with my own son? - ALAN: Painful. 310 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,113 Makes you long for death. 311 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,016 I think that's a bit much, Alan. 312 00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:32,019 No, that's what Niles wrote on the back of your memoir. 313 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,121 Give me that. 314 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,689 Oh, hey, Dad, uh, at the courts, 315 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,425 I saw this flyer for a tournament 316 00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,627 this weekend. You want to enter together? 317 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,863 Yes, of course, I... 318 00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,731 Playing squash. Doing more of the thing 319 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:46,199 we both love doing together. (chuckles) 320 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,235 - Okay, I'll sign us up. - (phone chimes) 321 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,402 Oh. 322 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,405 Oh, I'm sorry, Freddy. I-I can't go shopping 323 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,274 with you this afternoon. It-it seems, uh, 324 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,775 Something's come up with Bebe. 325 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,778 Oh, no. She headed down to Georgia to steal a soul? 326 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:02,315 (laughs) No, actually, 327 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:03,716 her-her daughter's broken her ankle. 328 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,820 Oh, geez. Now I feel bad. 329 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,123 How'd she break her ankle? 330 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:11,458 Well, she didn't actually 331 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,493 break her ankle. She's just... dying... 332 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,129 - Oh! - ...to spend time talking about Tosca with me, 333 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,265 which I'd rather do than go shopping with Freddy. 334 00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,500 Frasier! Really? 335 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,769 Too late. I've already rationalized. 336 00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,914 (piano playing gently) 337 00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:39,052 (gasps) Two back-to-back days of Frasier Crane! 338 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,355 What kind of good karma is that? 339 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,226 I must have been a saint in my past life. 340 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,428 Certainly not in this one. 341 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,498 Phoebe will be right back. 342 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,833 She had a terrific time chatting with you. 343 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,035 Yes, likewise. 344 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,569 Not often I meet a fellow opera buff. 345 00:13:56,669 --> 00:14:00,007 (laughs) She certainly didn't get it from me. 346 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,975 In the meantime, 347 00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,211 shall we talk memoir? 348 00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:07,047 You read it. I'd love to. 349 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,381 Marvelous. 350 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,850 Why the hell are you writing a memoir? 351 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,221 What do you mean? You didn't like it? 352 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,289 No, it's not that, treasure. 353 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:17,690 It's just that the only way 354 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,326 there could be any money in this book 355 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,728 is if you hollowed it out. 356 00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:26,733 There are more important things than money, Bebe. 357 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:29,602 Spoken like a true fat cat. 358 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,773 But what about us poor skinny kitties? 359 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:38,711 I have producers ready to throw millions 360 00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:42,649 at a revival of your TV show at me and you. 361 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,418 Yes, I have no interest in reviving my show. 362 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,487 I'm happy living here in Boston. 363 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,256 Which is why I found 364 00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,758 some fabulous new studios in Bushwick. 365 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,061 - Bushwick? - Just a stone's throw away. 366 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:57,230 You could give it two days a month and be done with it. 367 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,398 No. 368 00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,267 I would like to talk about my memoir. 369 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,036 Ugh. 370 00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,907 You're going to have to make it a tad juicier. 371 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,776 More sex, more drugs, more rock and roll. 372 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,045 I have no interest in writing some-some vapid 373 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,513 celebrity tell-all. 374 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:16,216 Not a tell-all, a tell-some. 375 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,885 You know... 376 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,922 A chapter about our torrid affair in '95 377 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,425 would make for an interesting read. 378 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,260 Yes, 379 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,662 if I were writing a horror novel. 380 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:35,235 Sorry I had to step away, I ran into someone 381 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,504 I met at the Loro Piana pop-up in Zermatt. 382 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,738 (laughs) 383 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,773 I'm wearing Loro Piana. 384 00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,609 Wow, look at us, two tweeds in a pod. 385 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,777 - (laughs) - Yes. 386 00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:46,613 For some reason, she's always dressed 387 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,816 like an authoritarian head of an all-girls orphanage. 388 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,421 - Oh, dear. - Oh, here, allow me. 389 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,922 What? 390 00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:58,658 Are you reading The Complete Marivaux? 391 00:15:58,791 --> 00:15:59,826 Oh, do you know his work? 392 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,461 Know it? Ha! 393 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,030 Almost moved to Paris to write a book 394 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,597 about his lost manuscripts. 395 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,733 Well, I just wrote an article about his critique 396 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,835 of 18th-century social norms. 397 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,138 Hilarious! 398 00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,407 The coincidence, I mean. 399 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,808 Not the article. 400 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,610 It sounds terribly dry. 401 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,747 Small world. 402 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,251 ♪ But if this ditty is not so pretty ♪ 403 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,486 ♪ At least it'll tell you how great you are. ♪ 404 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,521 Oh, my God, forgive me. 405 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:30,357 I'm-I'm so embarrassed, I'm sorry. 406 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:32,525 I'm such a musical theater geek. 407 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,161 So was I! When I was 16, I almost joined 408 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,329 a street gang to do research for West Side Story. 409 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:37,830 (both laughing) 410 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:41,034 ♪ But if, baby, I'm the bottom ♪ 411 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,836 ♪ But if, baby, I'm the bottom ♪ 412 00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:46,606 BOTH: ♪ But if, baby, I'm the bottom ♪ 413 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:50,277 BOTH: ♪ You're the top. ♪ 414 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:59,686 My goodness, you're-you're a lovely singer. 415 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,088 - Oh. - Yet another thing 416 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,123 she did not inherit from me. 417 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,125 I'll go give the piano player a tip. 418 00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:08,528 He should know the difference between andante and allegro. 419 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,397 (laughs) 420 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:18,571 Phoebe's father. 421 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,908 Any chance 422 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,376 he's a... 423 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,745 a gifted vocalist? 424 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,014 Perhaps a rich, silky baritone 425 00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,682 comfortable anywhere from the bottom 426 00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,818 of the second octave to the middle of the fourth? 427 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,254 It's impossible to say. 428 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,289 The '90s are such a blur. 429 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,726 So many lovers. 430 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,066 So, Phoebe is 431 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,402 - a '90s baby? - PHOEBE: Ah, yes. 432 00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:52,239 1995, to be precise. 433 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:53,740 Actually, 434 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,109 Phoebe, uh, we'll... we may have to take a rain check 435 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,710 on this drink. 436 00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,780 We're leaving tomorrow, and Phoebe is taking me 437 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:04,917 to a 19th century Hungarian clock exhibit. 438 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,420 Unless I get my wish 439 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,357 and the Lord takes me first. 440 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,794 Oh, Mother, the Lord isn't the one who'll be taking you. 441 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,397 Well, this was a delight, 442 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:18,931 even if we didn't get to talk Tosca. 443 00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:21,067 - Yes. - I'll go fetch the car. 444 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:23,436 (chuckles) 445 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,272 I... I thought 446 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:28,175 you two might get along. 447 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,711 Phoebe is, uh... 448 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,813 Do you mind if I ask you a question? 449 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:37,484 Of course, you can ask me anything, peppercorn. 450 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,822 Is there any chance... 451 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,326 ...that Phoebe is my daughter? 452 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,464 Of course not! 453 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:52,832 The nerve! 454 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,634 The dates do line up. 455 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,703 How dare you! Please. 456 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,007 Don't ever ask me that again. 457 00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:02,842 I promise I won't. 458 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,645 It's all right, dear. 459 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,581 Don't you go worrying, 460 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,183 ruminating 461 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,819 or obsessing over this. 462 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,987 And definitely 463 00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:16,989 do not 464 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,991 lose any sleep. 465 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:32,839 Sweet dreams, darling. 466 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,883 No, I'm worried about Frasier. 467 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,353 I mean, all of this pretending, 468 00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:48,655 making up excuses, lying to his son. 469 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:51,624 He should know it's not all about shared interests 470 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:54,261 and hobbies, it's about showing up for your child. 471 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,696 At least while they still let you. 472 00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,566 Oh, Alan, I didn't mean to stir up any... 473 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,734 No, no, no, it's-it's all right. 474 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,570 Just wish I was in a room with my daughter 475 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,072 so she could tell me we have nothing in common. 476 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,041 I'd give my right arm to have a tenth 477 00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:12,512 of what Frasier and Freddy have with my Nora. 478 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,514 I'm sorry. 479 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,687 You know, it's good to vent to someone who isn't a cat. 480 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,258 Frasier, you look like hell. 481 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,460 Yeah, what's wrong? 482 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,366 I have a daughter! 483 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:35,935 What? 484 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,136 I think I'm the father 485 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,671 of my agent's daughter Phoebe. 486 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,773 They're leaving today and I... 487 00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,008 I wonder if I should just try 488 00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,676 - to discuss it with her. - ALAN: What? 489 00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,612 Wait a minute, what makes you think she's your daughter? 490 00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:46,946 Well, there's a mountain of evidence. 491 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,415 We're both intelligent and sophisticated 492 00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:50,950 and cultured and... and we both hate Phantom. 493 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,685 Mountain of evidence. 494 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,120 How can you hate Phantom? 495 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,888 We sang together! Oh, look, 496 00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:58,958 I realize it's hard to explain, it's just that... 497 00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:02,295 She makes me feel like the kind of father 498 00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:05,131 I've always envisioned myself being. 499 00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:08,868 Well, it sounds like you're pursuing 500 00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:11,438 this flight of fancy with Phoebe 501 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:14,240 in order to avoid facing the distress 502 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,043 you're feeling over your relationship with your son. 503 00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,346 Emotional avoidance, that cliché. 504 00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:21,948 Honestly, Alan, you've really been phoning it in lately. 505 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,055 Well, I wonder if-- 506 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:32,492 and-and this... this is just occurring to me... 507 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:34,894 ...it's not about 508 00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,730 shared interests and hobbies, 509 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,666 but... 510 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,669 ...it's-it's more about 511 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,438 showing up for your child 512 00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:47,807 while they let you. 513 00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:54,714 I mean, think about it-- what parent 514 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:58,184 wouldn't give their right arm to have what you have with Freddy? 515 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,359 Thank you, Olivia. 516 00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:09,195 I-I cherish your precious words. 517 00:22:10,597 --> 00:22:11,864 (phone chimes) 518 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:14,901 Oh, heck, it-it's Freddy. 519 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,436 I've got an hour before the tournament starts. 520 00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:18,438 And I've got to iron this out. 521 00:22:18,538 --> 00:22:20,840 Uh, he's just gonna have to understand. I mean, 522 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:23,075 he's a big brother now, after all. 523 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,744 He's gonna have to learn to share. 524 00:22:27,614 --> 00:22:30,082 I don't know what to say. 525 00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:34,754 Would you like me to make something up for you? 526 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:40,860 Phoebe? 527 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,463 Hi. I'm sorry, uh... 528 00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:44,997 there's just... 529 00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,534 something I needed to tell you before you leave. 530 00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:49,802 Me too. I wanted to say something earlier, 531 00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:51,838 but I felt too shy. 532 00:22:51,938 --> 00:22:53,205 Really? What... Go-go ahead. 533 00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:56,142 I've never known who my father is, but... 534 00:22:56,242 --> 00:22:57,844 growing up, 535 00:22:57,944 --> 00:22:59,646 I loved watching your talk show 536 00:22:59,746 --> 00:23:01,247 and listening to all your advice and... 537 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:02,615 My daughter's a fan. 538 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,050 Sorry? 539 00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:06,152 Please, continue. 540 00:23:07,353 --> 00:23:09,456 Your show filled that... 541 00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:12,959 missing fatherly presence in my life. 542 00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:16,796 And I know it sounds stupid, but I feel so close to you, 543 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,330 - as if... - I'm your father! 544 00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:20,733 You are? 545 00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:21,934 Maybe! 546 00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:24,437 I should have led with "maybe," but... 547 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:27,306 But my mother has never once 548 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,675 - mentioned the possibility. - Yes, and have you 549 00:23:28,775 --> 00:23:30,142 ever known your mother to be 550 00:23:30,276 --> 00:23:31,544 honest and forthright? 551 00:23:31,644 --> 00:23:34,146 Frasier, that hairline, 552 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,783 fuller and thicker by the day. 553 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,886 Bebe, you despicable swindler. 554 00:23:39,886 --> 00:23:41,721 You knew all along that Phoebe was my daughter. 555 00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:44,190 - How could you keep this from me? - N-No. 556 00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:47,326 Uh, I suppose you could be her father, 557 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,295 I just never wanted to find out. 558 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:51,964 People see a single mother 559 00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:53,966 and they think "hero, diva, 560 00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:55,868 Madonna, whore." 561 00:23:57,637 --> 00:23:59,639 How could I give all that up? 562 00:24:02,074 --> 00:24:04,811 I'm so sorry this happened to you. 563 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:07,113 I-I swear I will make it up to you. 564 00:24:07,213 --> 00:24:09,215 I'll do anything, anything at all. 565 00:24:10,483 --> 00:24:11,851 Just knowing you might be 566 00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:13,720 my father is 567 00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:15,555 all I'll ever need. 568 00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:19,692 Stay in touch? 569 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,361 You try and stop me. 570 00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:23,696 (both chuckle) 571 00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:25,331 Actually... 572 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,066 there is one thing 573 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,334 you could do for me. 574 00:24:28,434 --> 00:24:29,669 Name it. 575 00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:31,671 Well, I wish we could see each other more. 576 00:24:31,771 --> 00:24:33,873 You know, I don't live far away. 577 00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:36,175 Uh, just in Bushwick. 578 00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:38,210 And I... 579 00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:40,212 I don't know, maybe there's something we could 580 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:43,249 do together there? 581 00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:44,684 Bushwick? 582 00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:46,352 Aren't there some 583 00:24:46,452 --> 00:24:48,454 new TV studios in Bushwick? 584 00:24:48,454 --> 00:24:50,590 Are there? 585 00:24:51,858 --> 00:24:53,660 I'll tell you what. 586 00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:55,862 For you and only you, 587 00:24:55,962 --> 00:24:59,131 I will consider reviving my show. 588 00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:00,299 Oh. 589 00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:01,801 After all, 590 00:25:01,901 --> 00:25:04,070 as Marivaux once said, 591 00:25:04,170 --> 00:25:06,005 "A father is the only friend 592 00:25:06,105 --> 00:25:09,041 on whom one can always rely." 593 00:25:09,141 --> 00:25:11,343 I love that Marivaux quote. 594 00:25:11,443 --> 00:25:13,546 It might be my favorite. 595 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,214 Marivaux never said that! 596 00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:23,890 Everyone knows it was Émile Gaboriau! 597 00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,660 What sort of ridiculous charade are you putting on here? 598 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,162 Uh... okay. Okay, 599 00:25:30,162 --> 00:25:31,898 I'm-I'm sorry, I'm not your daughter. 600 00:25:31,998 --> 00:25:34,701 Phoebe, you goon! You bungled it. 601 00:25:34,801 --> 00:25:36,502 Oh, my God, I knew I'd mess this up! I'm so sorry. 602 00:25:36,502 --> 00:25:37,937 - I always mess everything up. - No, no, no. 603 00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:39,706 I should have known you weren't ready. 604 00:25:39,706 --> 00:25:41,407 Bebe, you are pure evil. 605 00:25:41,507 --> 00:25:42,842 You designed this elaborate ruse 606 00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:45,044 just to talk me into resurrecting my show. 607 00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,580 - Well, I will never do it. - BEBE: No, no, 608 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,917 no, Phoebe has been begging to be your agent 609 00:25:51,017 --> 00:25:53,753 ever since she fell in love with your memoir. 610 00:25:53,853 --> 00:25:55,588 This was a test, 611 00:25:55,688 --> 00:25:57,256 which she obviously 612 00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,859 and spectacularly failed. 613 00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:02,995 Fell in love, you say? 614 00:26:03,763 --> 00:26:05,397 Yeah, I couldn't put it down. 615 00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:07,967 It's how I learned everything about you. 616 00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:12,438 Look, I know I blew my chances, but... 617 00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:15,341 ...if I were marketing your book, 618 00:26:15,441 --> 00:26:17,409 I'd focus on boutique publishers 619 00:26:17,509 --> 00:26:18,745 and intellectual circles. 620 00:26:18,845 --> 00:26:21,848 It's not some cheesy celebrity tell-all. 621 00:26:21,948 --> 00:26:23,616 It's art. 622 00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:26,118 Regardless, you ruined it! 623 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:28,888 No, it... 624 00:26:28,888 --> 00:26:30,690 it is art. 625 00:26:32,458 --> 00:26:34,126 Bebe? 626 00:26:34,226 --> 00:26:36,562 I've realized that Phoebe is a very talented 627 00:26:36,562 --> 00:26:38,330 and-and capable young woman. 628 00:26:38,464 --> 00:26:41,567 And I insist that she be added to my team. 629 00:26:41,567 --> 00:26:42,835 Oh, please, please, please, 630 00:26:42,969 --> 00:26:44,637 please give me a chance, give me a chance! 631 00:26:44,737 --> 00:26:46,438 Oh, fine. Stop hugging me. 632 00:26:46,538 --> 00:26:48,007 I'm your mother. 633 00:26:49,275 --> 00:26:51,410 But on one condition: I will never 634 00:26:51,510 --> 00:26:53,646 revive my show. Is that clear? 635 00:26:53,746 --> 00:26:55,414 - Deal? - Deal. 636 00:26:55,514 --> 00:26:57,717 How dare you! 637 00:26:57,817 --> 00:26:59,752 Freddy! 638 00:27:00,987 --> 00:27:02,254 Is this her? 639 00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:05,291 The one with the perfectly healthy ankles? 640 00:27:05,391 --> 00:27:07,326 Thank you? 641 00:27:07,426 --> 00:27:08,828 I called Alan. 642 00:27:08,928 --> 00:27:11,063 He told me where to find you and what you've been... 643 00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:12,531 up to. 644 00:27:12,665 --> 00:27:14,633 I waited on that court for you. 645 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:17,904 I squeezed into these ridiculous shorts for you. 646 00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:20,807 I even got us matching headbands! 647 00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,342 Freddy, I can explain. 648 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:24,711 No. 649 00:27:24,844 --> 00:27:27,413 No, you're coming home with me right now. 650 00:27:27,513 --> 00:27:29,849 Go get in the car. 651 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,920 Here you are, 652 00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:36,823 having an emotional scene i-in public and... 653 00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:40,426 wearing your heart on your sleeve, showing thigh. 654 00:27:40,526 --> 00:27:41,994 My... 655 00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:44,263 my heart is so full. 656 00:27:46,232 --> 00:27:47,800 You're not some alien. 657 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:50,236 You're my special boy! 658 00:27:54,406 --> 00:27:56,709 I said get in the car! 659 00:28:01,981 --> 00:28:03,783 Okay, bye. 660 00:28:04,550 --> 00:28:06,719 God, what a fool. 661 00:28:06,819 --> 00:28:09,121 Mother, you were so right. 662 00:28:11,758 --> 00:28:14,526 I knew that he would never add anyone to his team 663 00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:16,929 unless he thought it was his idea. 664 00:28:17,063 --> 00:28:18,731 And now that he trusts me and my taste, 665 00:28:18,831 --> 00:28:20,499 we can go and sell his dumb book. 666 00:28:20,599 --> 00:28:23,402 Which means that we can go back to convincing him 667 00:28:23,502 --> 00:28:25,071 to revive his talk show, 668 00:28:25,171 --> 00:28:27,974 which is obviously the best thing for him. 669 00:28:28,074 --> 00:28:29,942 - And us. - Yes, pet. 670 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:32,644 Mommy always gets her money. 671 00:28:33,946 --> 00:28:36,282 Shall we celebrate with some steak tartare? 672 00:28:36,415 --> 00:28:38,985 The bloodier, the better. 673 00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:41,287 (both cackling) 674 00:28:48,194 --> 00:28:49,495 ("Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs" playing) 675 00:28:49,595 --> 00:28:51,864 FRASIER: Y'all know how this goes. 676 00:28:53,099 --> 00:28:55,434 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 677 00:28:55,534 --> 00:28:58,404 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 678 00:28:59,638 --> 00:29:03,242 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 679 00:29:03,342 --> 00:29:05,611 Yeah, maybe. But I got you pegged. 680 00:29:05,711 --> 00:29:07,847 (chuckles) 681 00:29:07,947 --> 00:29:10,449 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 682 00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:14,186 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 683 00:29:15,054 --> 00:29:16,789 ♪ Life's callin' again. ♪ 684 00:29:16,923 --> 00:29:20,326 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org