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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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One to 17. One 1017.
4
00:00:30,542 --> 00:00:32,579
Then the kissing scene in Paris.
5
00:00:33,583 --> 00:00:36,291
Repeat, one to 17, one to 17.
6
00:00:36,458 --> 00:00:39,200
Then the kissing scene in Paris.
7
00:00:39,792 --> 00:00:42,659
The one to 17, one to 17.
8
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,915
About ten seconds.
9
00:00:45,083 --> 00:00:46,915
Harris just before one.
10
00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:50,200
One to 17. I'm nearly there.
11
00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:13,787
Hey, don't bother. I can walk.
12
00:01:13,958 --> 00:01:16,370
You'd be safer if I drive you.
Excuse me.
13
00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:19,079
One to 17 in one minute.
14
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:22,083
We're driving to 17.
I don't want anything to happen to you.
15
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,536
For insurance reasons.
16
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:25,949
It's three yards,
what could possibly happen?
17
00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:30,451
Can you watch it
with your damn baguettes, please?
18
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,500
-I just want you to be well.
- I prefer to walk.
19
00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:36,374
I can do this myself, thanks.
20
00:01:36,542 --> 00:01:38,374
Okay. Alone.
21
00:01:38,542 --> 00:01:41,079
I see. Okay, we'll do it like that.
22
00:01:42,292 --> 00:01:43,498
Alone...
23
00:01:46,708 --> 00:01:48,324
Harris here, on the way to 17.
24
00:01:48,583 --> 00:01:50,540
About 20 seconds.
25
00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:55,326
And one still on the way to 17,
another 10 seconds.
26
00:01:56,208 --> 00:01:58,700
One to 17, slight delay.
27
00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:03,123
One keeps going.
28
00:02:03,292 --> 00:02:04,999
And we...
29
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,161
are there.
30
00:02:11,542 --> 00:02:14,159
Hey, I'm guessing
he needs two minutes as usual.
31
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:17,166
Why so long? Rehearsal is running late.
32
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:19,574
No idea. What did he eat?
33
00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:21,866
Chicken with broccoli, as usual.
34
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:25,865
Maybe he has an upset stomach.
Then we'll have to go to the doctor.
35
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:29,160
Plus, we're shooting 34 later,
the love scene.
36
00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:31,745
What if he needs to puke then?
37
00:02:31,917 --> 00:02:34,784
It'll be a huge mess
if he pukes on the actress.
38
00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:36,915
We'd need to clean that up.
39
00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:39,165
You're right, I better go in.
40
00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:46,617
One ready for rehearsal.
We're getting ready to shoot.
41
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,910
Guys, get ready to shoot. Let's go.
42
00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:24,499
LOVE THING
43
00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:15,783
-Marvin.
-Marvin.
44
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,078
Well?
45
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,412
Hey, a quick,
important question, tell me...
46
00:05:59,042 --> 00:06:00,749
Am I still a feminist
47
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,163
if I watch "Bang Bus"
for masturbation purposes?
48
00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:05,953
-"Bang Bus"?
-Yes.
49
00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:09,166
Okay, I look forward to the storyline.
50
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,494
Well...
51
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:13,162
There's a bus with horny guys,
52
00:06:13,417 --> 00:06:16,489
and it's going round the country,
and the leader...
53
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,375
runs around outside,
grabs a passer-by and bangs her.
54
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:23,166
Maybe you want a Neanderthal
to drag you into his bus.
55
00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:25,995
-How long since you last had sex?
-Oh.
56
00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:29,000
I hope it doesn't grow over
like pierced earlobes do.
57
00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:31,332
You're so silly.
58
00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:33,665
Maybe I'm just into buses.
59
00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:36,825
Ever since we haven't been able
to afford bus tickets.
60
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:38,990
How much is still in there?
61
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:08,535
Hey.
62
00:07:08,958 --> 00:07:10,665
What are you doing here?
63
00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:12,323
Come on over here.
64
00:07:13,042 --> 00:07:14,498
Want a treat?
65
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:17,868
Here, look.
Want to have a steak with me later?
66
00:07:18,125 --> 00:07:20,116
I have to work, then I have time.
67
00:07:20,292 --> 00:07:23,739
Abi, who are you talking to?
I just called you.
68
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,742
-No one.
-Here are your press clothes.
69
00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:29,454
Chatting with the dog?
You're turning into a potato.
70
00:07:29,708 --> 00:07:32,200
He says he loves me
and that I'm special.
71
00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:36,323
How about a woman for a change?
Those creatures who lie at your feet.
72
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,995
He has the wickedest life and wastes it.
73
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,909
I don't want a hookup
who'll take nude pics of me in secret.
74
00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:44,745
Oh God. Still traumatized by willy-gate?
75
00:07:44,917 --> 00:07:47,909
Your ugly nuts had
two million clicks in five minutes.
76
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:51,364
- I hate you when you talk like that.
-You don't have a girlfriend.
77
00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:55,289
But I'm working my butt off.
That's the difference, my friend.
78
00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:57,495
What about our sweet Sammy here?
79
00:07:57,667 --> 00:08:01,490
Whose last snog was in the 18th century.
With fat Kevin from the kiosk.
80
00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:06,076
-You bossed him around.
-Was he lisping during the kiss?
81
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:09,368
I don't need a guy, okay?
You two are enough of a pain.
82
00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:12,037
But it's okay too.
None of us is having any luck.
83
00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:14,791
As superheroes,
we'd be the "Unfuckables".
84
00:08:14,958 --> 00:08:16,369
You maybe. I'm having luck.
85
00:08:16,625 --> 00:08:19,993
The cousin of a friend, you don't
know her, she's coming tonight.
86
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,578
And she's bringing a friend.
87
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:24,208
"Cousin" means
he stalked someone on Instagram.
88
00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:27,208
Can we put some more people
on the guest list?
89
00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,286
You're "plus two" on the list.
90
00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:31,950
-So now "plus three", or what?
-Well...
91
00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:33,957
Plus 30, more like.
92
00:08:34,208 --> 00:08:36,074
Same shit every time.
93
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,742
I might have talked about it
in my neighborhood.
94
00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:43,201
-I've got egg on my face if you deny me.
-Come on, Sammy.
95
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:46,083
Little Joe here
has a reputation to lose.
96
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:47,832
Okay, I surrender.
97
00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:51,621
"Hakan plus 30 cousins."
98
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:55,365
-There you go.
-Can we cancel Bamberger?
99
00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:58,284
She'll only ask me
what my dream woman looks like.
100
00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:01,745
Okay, Abi, I get you.
101
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,705
But you made a film.
Tonight's the premiere.
102
00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:08,743
And they all want to know
how great it is and how great you are.
103
00:09:08,917 --> 00:09:11,329
-Okay?
-If only that were the case.
104
00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:13,244
Hey.
105
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,332
Today is his birthday, by the way.
106
00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:22,491
Do you think of him?
107
00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:24,908
Yes, I do.
108
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,332
But what are we supposed to do?
109
00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:29,949
Stop beating yourself up.
110
00:09:30,208 --> 00:09:33,371
If I didn't know it's a German thing,
I'd say you'll get depressed.
111
00:09:33,625 --> 00:09:37,323
I get depressed
when I think of your sex life, okay?
112
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,207
Okay, off to the zoo.
113
00:09:40,125 --> 00:09:41,615
See you.
114
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,874
DREAM GUY
115
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:57,036
What? I'm starving.
116
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:04,494
Listen up, people. I'm Hakan.
I'm Marvin's best friend.
117
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And if some of you are lacking
in the technology department,
118
00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:10,328
I run the sickest
cell phone shop in Neukölln.
119
00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:13,784
Hello, we spoke on the phone. I'm...
120
00:10:14,042 --> 00:10:15,783
-Hello, I'm...
-Bettina Bamberger
121
00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:17,915
-"The Big Interview on Sunday".
-Right.
122
00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:22,115
If you ever want to interview
the friend behind the stars, I'm in.
123
00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:25,250
You are a disgrace.
We stick to the agreement, yes?
124
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,489
No private questions
and he won't talk about the nude pics.
125
00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:31,989
-Of course. Don't worry, it'll be tame.
-Good.
126
00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:35,080
-Hello, I'm Bettina's assistant.
-Samira.
127
00:10:36,292 --> 00:10:40,240
Since you're free to shake hands
I'm guessing my coffee is ready, Markus?
128
00:10:40,417 --> 00:10:42,579
-Coffee.
-See you.
129
00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:57,408
-Hello.
-Hi, Ferda from the distributor.
130
00:10:57,667 --> 00:11:00,705
Hi. This is Benni, Manuela,
Milka, Sascha and Steffi.
131
00:11:00,958 --> 00:11:03,541
-Nice to meet you.
-Oh, sorry.
132
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:09,994
Hello, I'm Ulrike, or Ulki.
We'll be doing the "Kinoboom" interview.
133
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:13,000
I have my team with me
for the social media clips.
134
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:16,080
-Franzi, Berti and Jamila.
-Hi, hello.
135
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,332
-Can we take a picture?
-Standing up, right?
136
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,241
Yes, sure. There's Robert.
137
00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:23,739
Not from below.
I'll look like an exploded dumpling.
138
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,079
-Hello, dream guy.
-Hello.
139
00:11:26,542 --> 00:11:29,409
Hey, may I ask you
a tricky question beforehand?
140
00:11:30,042 --> 00:11:32,500
No questions
that haven't been agreed on.
141
00:11:32,667 --> 00:11:35,250
A little bit of variety might be good,
right?
142
00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:39,911
Well, your new film "Dream Guy"
starts in theaters on Thursday.
143
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:44,121
What would your dream woman be like?
144
00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:48,074
Shall we talk about something else?
145
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,117
Our female viewers
are interested in your love life.
146
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:54,458
It'd be interesting to talk about
147
00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:57,367
how the script came about
or what the shoot was like,
148
00:11:57,625 --> 00:12:01,038
with colleagues, some of whom
have acted on major theater stages.
149
00:12:01,208 --> 00:12:05,122
Well, unknown theater actors
aren't so interesting.
150
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,867
But is a well-known actor worth more?
151
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:10,207
This is getting philosophical.
152
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,449
Let's talk about other people then.
153
00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:14,536
Are the butter truffles still coming?
154
00:12:14,708 --> 00:12:16,790
Is there someone special in your life?
155
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:20,614
Our female viewers haven't seen you
with a woman in a long time.
156
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:24,083
What's going on with you and love?
157
00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:26,369
Sorry.
158
00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:30,991
Do we want to continue at this level?
159
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,491
I have good news for you, Mr. Bosch.
160
00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:36,455
In terms of the level... I'm adaptable.
161
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:38,992
Up and down. Where would you like it?
162
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:42,493
- I think we'll take a break now.
-Let's get off the beaten track.
163
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:44,578
That makes it more interesting
for me too.
164
00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:45,990
-Okay.
-Yes?
165
00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:47,615
-Now I'm curious.
-Fine.
166
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:50,742
One moment, please, Bettina.
The sound is rustling.
167
00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:54,285
-Stick with the shit we agreed on.
-It's an interview.
168
00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:56,783
-Not open-heart surgery.
-Okay.
169
00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:59,495
But there's nothing I can do
once it's underway.
170
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:03,663
-Good news, the sound is back on.
-Wonderful.
171
00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:06,457
Are rumors to be believed
172
00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:09,700
that your film partner,
the beautiful Saskia Dobrian...
173
00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,036
is an alcoholic?
174
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:13,533
Oh, that's nonsense, of course.
175
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:16,750
I thought I'd ask directly.
You should know about this.
176
00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:22,574
Yes, according to our latest research,
your father was an alcoholic.
177
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:27,539
You did extra research for that?
You wanted to change the level.
178
00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:31,531
You come from Neukölln,
a pretty tough area in Berlin.
179
00:13:31,708 --> 00:13:35,030
When you were nine years old,
your mother died of cancer.
180
00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:37,199
I'm very sorry, Mr. Bosch.
181
00:13:39,375 --> 00:13:41,332
And what's the question?
182
00:13:42,208 --> 00:13:44,324
How was that for you?
183
00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:48,034
How was it when my mother died?
Seriously?
184
00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:51,701
What's it like to be all alone
in the world, Mr. Bosch?
185
00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,119
He wasn't alone.
186
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,037
He had us.
We were his family, so to speak.
187
00:13:57,292 --> 00:14:00,284
You couldn't help her,
and I would understand
188
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:03,120
you becoming a bit of a delinquent.
189
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:08,198
I admit, I didn't pay
for my Snickers a few times.
190
00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:09,911
Guilty as charged.
191
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:13,747
And was it really just a Snickers?
What else are you hiding?
192
00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:18,081
Do you like taking on other roles
so you can feel something?
193
00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:20,742
-Ridiculous.
-Would your mother be proud of you?
194
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,698
-That's enough, Ms. Bamberger.
-What would she think of you today?
195
00:14:28,375 --> 00:14:29,786
I need five minutes.
196
00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:42,665
-Oh my God.
-Rad. Is that him?
197
00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:44,494
-Is that him?
-Yes.
198
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:49,533
Can we have a selfie?
199
00:15:32,375 --> 00:15:34,412
Listen, Marvin, my little birdie.
200
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:37,575
-This is very important now.
-Okay.
201
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:42,199
When Child Protective Services call,
don't tell them your dad drinks, okay?
202
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,787
Or they'll take you away when I'm gone.
203
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:48,743
Look at it this way, you get
to tell a lie with my permission.
204
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,536
Cool, right?
205
00:15:57,292 --> 00:15:59,579
Maybe I'm bored in paradise,
206
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,082
then I'll come see you
every now and then.
207
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,787
And I'll check if you're a good boy.
208
00:16:05,792 --> 00:16:07,078
But...
209
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:11,448
why do I need to be a good boy
if it won't make you stay here?
210
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:15,581
Look.
211
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:20,325
This way, you're always with me.
Come here.
212
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:31,035
Remember, only a man who has respect,
213
00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:32,994
who doesn't let anyone down,
214
00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:36,330
who never breaks the law, is a real man.
215
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,117
Will you be a real man, my little one?
216
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:42,907
Come here.
217
00:16:46,458 --> 00:16:49,041
But how will you come visit me?
218
00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:52,957
What is all this shit? Marvin!
219
00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:02,372
Yes, but he must be somewhere,
our girls' dream.
220
00:17:02,625 --> 00:17:05,583
Markus, start with the post.
I need close-ups of Marvin's face.
221
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,583
Everything is going on there.
The rage. The hurt.
222
00:17:09,708 --> 00:17:13,952
I know this kind of trash childhood.
There's dirt to be dug up.
223
00:17:15,292 --> 00:17:18,489
What if we have a sold out show tonight?
224
00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:22,780
How many more times?
With the rent increase, we can't do it.
225
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,290
Actually, we'll have
to lay all of them off.
226
00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:28,780
Either way, the lights will go out
in three weeks at the latest.
227
00:17:31,708 --> 00:17:33,824
Cucumber or seasoning salt with butter?
228
00:17:34,458 --> 00:17:38,031
The organic cheese really is
outrageously expensive right now.
229
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,741
-Rocco, a sandwich for you?
-I'd love one.
230
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:42,624
There's only light in my fridge now.
231
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:45,458
-Wiebke?
-Not for me. I feel sick.
232
00:17:45,625 --> 00:17:48,287
-From the new damn antidepressants.
-Hans?
233
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:51,161
Nope. I'm vegan again as of how.
234
00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,540
I watched some animal protection videos.
235
00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:56,910
-Zelda, don't give us any freebies.
-It's just sandwiches.
236
00:17:57,167 --> 00:18:00,125
How else could I thank you girls?
237
00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:03,580
For me, there's only welfare or hell.
Both are similar.
238
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,700
And you two, you're heaven.
239
00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:09,369
Seasoning salt and butter.
240
00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:12,375
I have one more surprise up my sleeve.
241
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,789
After the show, we'll have
my magic mushroom tea. Already bottled.
242
00:18:17,042 --> 00:18:20,364
It will blast through
your happiness synapses.
243
00:18:20,625 --> 00:18:25,040
But just half a cup each, I don't want
you all to be too happy afterwards.
244
00:18:25,292 --> 00:18:26,999
Well, that...
245
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:30,705
is always my worry too,
that I'm too happy.
246
00:18:31,542 --> 00:18:33,499
Oh God.
247
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,790
MARVIN, YOU'RE MY DREAM GUY
248
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,874
MR. BOSCH, MY HEART ONLY BEATS FOR YOU
249
00:18:50,458 --> 00:18:53,530
-Marvin!
-Want an autograph?
250
00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:55,949
What for? To give it to my granny?
251
00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:57,661
I'm waiting for Marvin.
252
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,536
Understandable. She'll keep going.
253
00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:10,666
-We're waiting for tonight's star...
-And here he is.
254
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:13,165
-...Marvin.
-Jens, what's up, buddy?
255
00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:16,371
-Rainer, we're waiting for Marvin.
-For Marvin?
256
00:19:16,542 --> 00:19:17,623
-That's right.
-Yeah.
257
00:19:21,792 --> 00:19:23,203
I love you!
258
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,992
WORLD PREMIERE - DREAM GUY
259
00:19:32,292 --> 00:19:34,750
Oh God, he's actually doing the pistols.
260
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:38,450
- Can't watch.
-Why doesn't anyone tell him?
261
00:19:44,042 --> 00:19:46,909
-Oh God.
-And now he's coming up.
262
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:57,371
-Isn't that Marvin?
-Isn't that Marvin?
263
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,874
-Look.
-No, it's not him.
264
00:20:00,125 --> 00:20:01,911
Yes, it is him.
265
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,957
Samira, Samira.
266
00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:10,865
Hey, you look like a million dollars.
Amazing. My compliments.
267
00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:14,364
Do you think Marvin is up
for doing my fitness app with me"?
268
00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:17,000
-Nowadays, it's all apps.
-Well, Rainer...
269
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:20,080
If I can give you some advice,
it's your app...
270
00:20:20,542 --> 00:20:22,328
You're the star.
271
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:23,956
You should do it on your own.
272
00:20:25,375 --> 00:20:27,036
Samira, thanks.
273
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:29,123
You're a real darling.
274
00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:32,541
I'd like to stay,
but my fans are waiting.
275
00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:34,699
-So...
-All right. Wow.
276
00:20:35,708 --> 00:20:38,370
Yo, homie. Is Marvin on his way?
277
00:20:39,292 --> 00:20:41,704
"Homie"? Seriously?
278
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,412
You know I'm a woman, right?
279
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:46,368
Excuse me...
280
00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:48,658
We're not in a racist series
281
00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:51,416
where Hakan and I do drug deals
out of our kebab shop.
282
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,955
You go check if our actress
isn't sloshed again,
283
00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:57,492
and I think I've got a handle
on this here.
284
00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:00,707
-Yo.
-Yo.
285
00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:07,874
-Shut the door!
-Hansjörg...
286
00:21:08,042 --> 00:21:11,580
-Ouch, my extensions.
-Go on, shut that door! Sorry, honey...
287
00:21:27,875 --> 00:21:30,082
I'll be right there. I went for a walk.
288
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:33,655
-I'm just leaving.
-All right. See you.
289
00:21:34,458 --> 00:21:35,493
Bye.
290
00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:40,448
CHRISTMAS PUSSY!
291
00:21:59,292 --> 00:22:03,456
I have a question right away.
Are you a woman men fall in love with?
292
00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:06,370
Yes? And you? Are you the marrying type?
293
00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:08,994
Maybe, I see. Nice.
294
00:22:09,250 --> 00:22:11,457
Congrats, because I'm not.
295
00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:16,743
Yes, I'm the personal low point
in the life of a man.
296
00:22:18,083 --> 00:22:21,656
Because I don't feel like having
to explain to other people,
297
00:22:21,917 --> 00:22:26,662
to men who have managed to get a degree,
298
00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:30,872
how the clitoris works, or an orgasm.
299
00:22:31,125 --> 00:22:33,958
What were those guys doing
while I spent years
300
00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:37,618
getting acquainted
with a diversity of testicles?
301
00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:39,786
Yes, that's sad.
302
00:22:41,375 --> 00:22:45,539
That's why I invented something:
the intercourse driver's license.
303
00:22:45,708 --> 00:22:47,665
Yes. Yes.
304
00:22:49,875 --> 00:22:54,369
I imagine it so. It has
a theoretical and a practical test.
305
00:22:54,542 --> 00:22:57,000
Let's picture the following scenario.
306
00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:59,204
The guy is at yours, or you're at his,
307
00:22:59,375 --> 00:23:02,083
and he opens his fly, so...
308
00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:04,870
Meep. Question round.
Where are my erogenous zones?
309
00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:08,083
Where is the G-spot
and how long is the female cycle?
310
00:23:10,167 --> 00:23:14,161
Additional question for a blow job?
Who or what is progesterone?
311
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:16,911
Yes.
312
00:23:17,542 --> 00:23:21,080
Theoretical test passed,
let's go on with the practical part.
313
00:23:21,708 --> 00:23:25,872
The candidate in question
is asked to go to a drugstore
314
00:23:26,125 --> 00:23:30,665
where he needs to buy a menstruation cup
and a remedy for a yeast infection.
315
00:23:31,333 --> 00:23:32,744
Yes.
316
00:23:32,917 --> 00:23:35,500
Right, and if they do that
without any mistakes,
317
00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:38,947
congrats, open your fly,
you passed the test.
318
00:23:39,458 --> 00:23:43,656
And now have fun with The Tamponettes,
choreographed by Jacky Schröder.
319
00:25:23,667 --> 00:25:27,331
ABSENT FROM HIS OWN PREMIERE.
MELTDOWN DURING INTERVIEW.
320
00:25:28,583 --> 00:25:29,744
Fuck.
321
00:26:38,542 --> 00:26:41,614
-He ruined my vulva.
-Isn't he that...
322
00:26:41,792 --> 00:26:44,864
That film guy. That... love thing.
323
00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:46,911
-Who?
-My daughters are obsessed with him.
324
00:26:47,167 --> 00:26:50,455
-The one with the films.
-Hey stranger, got the wrong pussy?
325
00:26:50,708 --> 00:26:52,369
Is that one of your exes?
326
00:26:52,542 --> 00:26:54,954
I'm not wearing my contact lenses.
327
00:26:55,125 --> 00:26:59,824
-Men all have similar faces.
-The fog, like in a magic forest.
328
00:27:00,083 --> 00:27:02,199
Then I fell into this huge pussy.
329
00:27:02,375 --> 00:27:04,912
Yes. Right,
but you're coming out of there, no?
330
00:27:05,167 --> 00:27:08,080
-You can't stay in there.
-I can, it's cozy.
331
00:27:08,333 --> 00:27:10,495
-Come on in.
-You come out.
332
00:27:11,208 --> 00:27:13,620
Don't worry, I'll stay with you forever.
333
00:27:13,875 --> 00:27:16,207
-My mother appeared to me.
-He finished the bottle.
334
00:27:16,458 --> 00:27:19,746
-From now on, it's going to be okay.
-It's always nutcases who are into you.
335
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,367
-Wicked.
-Hey, plumber woman, hands off.
336
00:27:22,625 --> 00:27:25,333
-Hey!
-It's a misunderstanding.
337
00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:27,494
She's a metaphor for the woman.
338
00:27:27,667 --> 00:27:30,625
She is the blood.
We became really good friends.
339
00:27:30,875 --> 00:27:32,331
He nearly choked me to death.
340
00:27:32,583 --> 00:27:36,406
-We'll take her to the premiere.
-The premiere is over for you.
341
00:27:36,667 --> 00:27:41,241
It's a classic Me Too situation, right?
I didn't do anything. Who's the nut job?
342
00:27:41,417 --> 00:27:43,203
Sorry, who are you anyway?
343
00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:46,618
-Can we take a selfie?
-No way. So...
344
00:27:46,792 --> 00:27:49,580
If he's such a star,
you're insured, right?
345
00:27:49,833 --> 00:27:52,791
Because my vagina
has a minimum value of 80 euros.
346
00:27:52,958 --> 00:27:56,656
Okay, I'll pay for that but I don't
have any money on me. We need to go.
347
00:27:57,833 --> 00:28:00,746
You sound
like all my ex-girlfriends combined.
348
00:28:01,792 --> 00:28:04,989
-Hansjörg, help me.
-First, the money.
349
00:28:05,167 --> 00:28:07,283
-Then the psycho can go.
-Good grief.
350
00:28:07,542 --> 00:28:10,204
This is a proper
menstruation inferno here.
351
00:28:15,583 --> 00:28:19,030
If the big star isn't coming now,
I'd need to know.
352
00:28:20,042 --> 00:28:23,160
Then I'd score a soccer player
or a real estate agent.
353
00:28:23,792 --> 00:28:26,830
-Well...
-Is Marvin your friend? He'd be here.
354
00:28:37,042 --> 00:28:40,740
It's bigger than my bed. Crazy.
Loads of chips.
355
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,456
-Is someone calling?
-Chips.
356
00:28:42,625 --> 00:28:44,616
Hey, girls, someone want a beer?
357
00:28:44,875 --> 00:28:47,333
-So much water. Who needs all that?
-Shit.
358
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:49,241
The gossip hounds are outside your door.
359
00:28:49,417 --> 00:28:51,749
Wild. If I press here,
it goes backwards.
360
00:28:52,708 --> 00:28:54,824
-His head's hanging out the window.
-Help!
361
00:28:56,917 --> 00:28:58,703
-Did I do that?
-Pull him back in!
362
00:28:58,958 --> 00:28:59,993
-Shit.
-Thank God.
363
00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:04,870
How long have you been
a real estate agent?
364
00:29:05,042 --> 00:29:06,624
It's been ten years already.
365
00:29:06,792 --> 00:29:08,374
-Ten years?
-It's going well.
366
00:29:08,542 --> 00:29:10,749
-Wow.
-It's so exciting.
367
00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:13,705
Are you looking for something?
I can show you some stuff.
368
00:29:13,875 --> 00:29:15,957
Well, a loft wouldn't be half-bad.
369
00:29:16,125 --> 00:29:17,991
Here in the building, for instance?
370
00:29:18,250 --> 00:29:22,448
Okay, it might not be
an exciting topic for you, but...
371
00:29:22,625 --> 00:29:26,368
-Can he die of that?
-Not if he pukes in 30 minutes.
372
00:29:27,458 --> 00:29:30,746
-And if he doesn't?
-Then an emergency room would be good.
373
00:29:31,375 --> 00:29:34,788
But don't worry. I only know
two or three people who died of it.
374
00:29:35,042 --> 00:29:37,124
-And they took a lot of other stuff.
-Okay.
375
00:29:40,958 --> 00:29:43,871
Are you serious?
What are we going to do now?
376
00:29:44,042 --> 00:29:46,454
That son of a bitch
is my entire childhood.
377
00:29:47,208 --> 00:29:50,200
-I'd do anything for him.
-Put a finger down his throat.
378
00:29:52,042 --> 00:29:53,624
Are you nuts?
I don't want to see his puke.
379
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,365
Oh God.
380
00:29:55,833 --> 00:29:57,244
Watch out, Zelda.
381
00:29:59,750 --> 00:30:02,082
Hey, hello. Come.
382
00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:04,332
-Let's do something nice.
-Like what?
383
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:05,706
Come on.
384
00:30:06,708 --> 00:30:09,780
-What are we doing?
-I'll show you now.
385
00:30:11,250 --> 00:30:14,572
- I don't believe this.
-She's not actually doing it, is she?
386
00:30:58,750 --> 00:31:00,616
I'll go get some money.
387
00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:02,533
A magnificent girl.
388
00:31:02,708 --> 00:31:04,290
She's so feisty.
389
00:31:11,625 --> 00:31:14,413
Look, he's watching himself puke.
390
00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:19,413
"Marvin Bosch's
aggressive interview meltdown.
391
00:31:19,667 --> 00:31:22,409
The star was absent
from his own premiere!
392
00:31:22,583 --> 00:31:24,494
Where is Marvin Bosch?"
393
00:31:24,667 --> 00:31:27,079
-Oh dear.
-So what?
394
00:31:30,125 --> 00:31:31,331
Shit.
395
00:31:31,583 --> 00:31:33,039
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
396
00:31:33,292 --> 00:31:35,249
We need to go right now.
397
00:31:40,583 --> 00:31:42,324
-In here.
-Wait.
398
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:45,242
-Wait, I need to puke again.
-Be my guest. Go in there.
399
00:31:45,417 --> 00:31:47,078
-Head.
-Oh God.
400
00:31:48,500 --> 00:31:49,956
Come, quick.
401
00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,786
You did great.
402
00:31:52,500 --> 00:31:56,494
Now the biggest star in the country
has barfed in our car.
403
00:31:57,917 --> 00:31:59,578
Dear Bettina...
404
00:31:59,750 --> 00:32:02,617
It's been three years now that...
405
00:32:02,792 --> 00:32:05,079
Bettina, darling... Bettin...
406
00:32:06,875 --> 00:32:09,242
Oh, champagne.
407
00:32:09,750 --> 00:32:11,787
This is like a cruise ship.
408
00:32:12,833 --> 00:32:15,416
Sweetie, get me my usual whiskey please?
Thanks.
409
00:32:16,542 --> 00:32:17,907
Dear Bettina,
410
00:32:18,083 --> 00:32:21,872
the last three years I was allowed
to enjoy your company...
411
00:32:22,042 --> 00:32:23,578
Why are you ranting?
412
00:32:25,208 --> 00:32:27,620
You're just a great woman, so...
413
00:32:27,792 --> 00:32:30,250
You're not easy. No one said that.
414
00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:33,743
You always say what you think,
regardless of the consequences.
415
00:32:33,917 --> 00:32:37,035
In bed, you are... well, unusual.
416
00:32:37,708 --> 00:32:40,291
At first, I was scared,
but no hard feelings.
417
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,620
Let's drink to that, Bettina...
418
00:32:43,250 --> 00:32:46,697
although we know that alcohol
always leads to a scandal.
419
00:32:46,875 --> 00:32:50,413
René, this is a nice evening.
420
00:32:50,583 --> 00:32:53,371
A dozen oysters
and a thorough bad-mouthing.
421
00:32:53,542 --> 00:32:56,910
-Cheers, great. No, it's okay.
-Moment, there's more.
422
00:32:57,083 --> 00:33:00,155
For me, you're like a highly
sensitive, delicate seashell.
423
00:33:00,333 --> 00:33:02,825
-Yes?
-With a beautiful pearl inside.
424
00:33:03,875 --> 00:33:08,369
I'm not even talking about
the tough shell or the slimy part.
425
00:33:08,542 --> 00:33:10,124
The pearly part.
426
00:33:10,292 --> 00:33:12,033
Have you been smoking grass again?
427
00:33:12,208 --> 00:33:16,657
Fine, okay, I might have
had one or two puffs for the excitement.
428
00:33:18,583 --> 00:33:22,702
Bettina, do you remember insulting me
here at the bar three years ago?
429
00:33:22,875 --> 00:33:24,912
You called me a "lazy lover boy".
430
00:33:25,167 --> 00:33:26,783
-Yes.
-Good.
431
00:33:26,958 --> 00:33:30,371
You're not totally wrong there,
I'll be honest, but today...
432
00:33:30,542 --> 00:33:33,079
Today I would like you...
433
00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:35,332
-Reception is crap here.
-...and me...
434
00:33:35,583 --> 00:33:39,030
Will the effing cell phone mafia
manage to get us reception for once?
435
00:33:39,292 --> 00:33:41,283
One moment. Thank you.
436
00:33:47,750 --> 00:33:49,991
What, you don't know where Marvin is?
437
00:33:50,167 --> 00:33:53,000
The cell phone photo
was sent to the editors.
438
00:33:53,250 --> 00:33:55,161
But we don't know where he is now.
439
00:33:55,333 --> 00:33:58,200
-I wanted to go to a party.
-That men have to talk so much...
440
00:33:58,375 --> 00:34:01,572
I don't care what you do
in your miserable spare time, Markus.
441
00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:05,493
Tell me what the puke looks like
and speak up. You're mumbling.
442
00:34:06,708 --> 00:34:09,120
The puke looks... gross.
443
00:34:09,375 --> 00:34:13,073
-What does it taste and smell like?
-You want me to taste it?
444
00:34:13,250 --> 00:34:16,322
I tasted Oasis" puke back in the day
and got the high of my life.
445
00:34:16,583 --> 00:34:20,121
Collect it and send it to a lab.
! need the results in two hours.
446
00:34:20,292 --> 00:34:22,533
-You what?
-Have them analyze the puke.
447
00:34:22,792 --> 00:34:24,954
It's liquid gold.
448
00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:50,704
Well, I'm fit again. We can go.
449
00:34:50,875 --> 00:34:52,957
We need to deal with the premiere.
450
00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:55,662
I'll do that. You need to disappear
for three or four days.
451
00:34:56,292 --> 00:34:58,533
-You can sleep at ours.
-What?
452
00:34:58,792 --> 00:35:00,749
Just because he fell
into our cardboard pussy?
453
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,992
-It's a good idea.
-No penises at breakfast.
454
00:35:04,250 --> 00:35:07,322
We would pay you for your troubles.
455
00:35:07,500 --> 00:35:11,243
I didn't subjugate myself
to the patriarchy to serve a star.
456
00:35:11,875 --> 00:35:13,957
But it wouldn't be for nothing.
457
00:35:19,167 --> 00:35:22,785
Okay, we can listen to the proposal...
no commitment.
458
00:35:23,042 --> 00:35:26,239
Come on, leave it, Sammy.
Thanks, I'll be fine.
459
00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:30,490
-I prefer going to a hotel.
-There are informants in the hotels.
460
00:35:31,208 --> 00:35:33,870
No one suspects you here. It's perfect.
461
00:35:34,542 --> 00:35:37,409
Stay the night or a few days.
Then you'll see.
462
00:35:38,042 --> 00:35:40,955
- I have your gear in the car.
-But I don't know them.
463
00:35:41,125 --> 00:35:45,198
They dressed up as tampons
and dance fertility dances.
464
00:35:45,375 --> 00:35:48,288
Who knows what they'll do?
They might be ax murderers.
465
00:35:48,458 --> 00:35:51,450
Nonsense.
They are totally cute and innocent.
466
00:35:51,625 --> 00:35:53,992
Hey. You're cute too.
467
00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:57,037
I can't say I'm innocent though.
468
00:35:57,292 --> 00:35:59,750
Darlings, just try.
469
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,662
Maybe you'd even like it at the theater.
470
00:36:02,833 --> 00:36:04,323
Okay, why not?
471
00:36:04,958 --> 00:36:08,030
If they are crazy ax murderers,
it'll be short and painless.
472
00:36:08,292 --> 00:36:11,364
I promise,
we'll cut you up super gently.
473
00:36:11,625 --> 00:36:14,868
Okay, these are
the nondisclosure stipulations.
474
00:36:15,125 --> 00:36:18,618
If one of you spills the beans
that Marvin is here,
475
00:36:18,792 --> 00:36:21,079
there will be
a contractual penalty of 50,000.
476
00:36:22,583 --> 00:36:25,325
I get 50,000 euros if I talk about him?
477
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:27,867
-That's fantastic.
-Nope, Zelda.
478
00:36:28,125 --> 00:36:29,581
It's the other way round.
479
00:36:30,875 --> 00:36:32,741
-That's a pity.
-Wait a second.
480
00:36:32,917 --> 00:36:34,749
People, hello!
481
00:36:34,917 --> 00:36:38,330
He acts in films
with names like "Horny Dudes",
482
00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:41,367
or "Man on the Side",
or "Man-life Crisis".
483
00:36:41,625 --> 00:36:43,912
Well, if he doesn't contribute,
484
00:36:44,417 --> 00:36:46,658
I'm afraid we'll have
to shut down the theater.
485
00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:48,540
What? We're broke?
486
00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:52,160
If in three weeks, we replace capitalism
with another system of government,
487
00:36:52,417 --> 00:36:53,828
it won't be so bad.
488
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,413
Well, I've been waiting
for that too, since 1973.
489
00:36:58,167 --> 00:37:00,249
Well, I'd say...
490
00:37:00,417 --> 00:37:02,704
-Welcome, superstar.
-Thank you.
491
00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:09,656
You two live together and you're
a lesbian. Does stuff happen sometimes?
492
00:37:09,833 --> 00:37:13,622
Oh my God, the cisgender guy has
his sex knowledge from porn.
493
00:37:13,792 --> 00:37:16,250
And what's "cis" again?
494
00:37:16,417 --> 00:37:18,408
The opposite of "trans".
495
00:37:18,583 --> 00:37:22,998
Identification with the sex
that was assigned to you at birth.
496
00:37:23,167 --> 00:37:26,614
Okay, Marvin, very good example.
497
00:37:26,875 --> 00:37:29,663
Marvin was born
an unenlightened moron with a penis
498
00:37:29,833 --> 00:37:32,575
and will die a moron with a penis.
499
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:33,911
That's "cis".
500
00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:36,909
You're not a transgender guy like Rocco,
501
00:37:37,083 --> 00:37:40,121
you're the born Joe Schmo
from Schmotown.
502
00:37:40,375 --> 00:37:43,288
In my case,
Joe Schmo is a 100% improvement.
503
00:37:43,542 --> 00:37:45,874
I used to be the low-life Turk.
504
00:37:46,042 --> 00:37:49,114
All those sex-deprived guys
who make porn films,
505
00:37:49,292 --> 00:37:50,874
a cycle of cluelessness.
506
00:37:51,125 --> 00:37:54,163
No one ever finds out
how the clitoris works... Beer?
507
00:37:54,875 --> 00:37:58,288
Excuse me, we both know
how the clitoris works.
508
00:37:58,542 --> 00:38:00,909
I mean, we're not hicks.
509
00:38:01,875 --> 00:38:02,956
Or cis-hicks.
510
00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:05,791
You act like I'm a Neanderthal
who clubs a woman
511
00:38:06,042 --> 00:38:07,828
over the head
and drags her into his cave.
512
00:38:08,083 --> 00:38:10,620
If there were a bus in play,
Frieda would be interested.
513
00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:16,492
-Shall we go out?
-Oh yes.
514
00:38:17,167 --> 00:38:19,955
There's a party at "Scum" tonight.
515
00:38:20,792 --> 00:38:23,580
I need to disappear, have you forgotten?
516
00:38:23,750 --> 00:38:27,243
Here, you can take these.
No one will recognize you in them.
517
00:38:31,375 --> 00:38:32,865
What is this?
518
00:38:33,625 --> 00:38:34,786
It's a flower.
519
00:38:35,042 --> 00:38:37,579
-I won't go as a flower.
- I don't dig it either.
520
00:38:38,208 --> 00:38:41,451
So that, dear specialists,
is a clitoris.
521
00:38:43,083 --> 00:38:46,405
And as a rough orientation,
it is not located in the throat.
522
00:38:47,750 --> 00:38:49,366
I have heard that before.
523
00:38:49,792 --> 00:38:52,033
Why is the joint called "Scum"?
524
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,866
It's rad how nuts they all look.
525
00:39:34,625 --> 00:39:36,286
Awesome.
526
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,740
They're cool.
527
00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:41,491
-Can we have two beers?
-Coming up, sweetie.
528
00:39:41,750 --> 00:39:43,332
Six euros.
529
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:46,492
-You look great.
-I know. I'm a clitoris.
530
00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:54,915
When did we last really party?
531
00:39:55,083 --> 00:39:57,871
-This is sick here.
-It's been ages.
532
00:39:58,042 --> 00:40:01,785
And why is hetero seen
as the superior life form?
533
00:40:01,958 --> 00:40:03,448
Here, everyone dances with everyone.
534
00:40:03,708 --> 00:40:07,622
This is about love. Without all
that nonsense about relationships.
535
00:40:07,792 --> 00:40:08,998
Yes.
536
00:40:09,167 --> 00:40:11,499
Shit,
Jacky's ex-girlfriend Sabine is here.
537
00:40:11,750 --> 00:40:14,367
-Pretend we're having fun, okay?
- I hate her.
538
00:40:14,542 --> 00:40:17,034
Nope, I love her.
Shit, it's complicated.
539
00:40:17,292 --> 00:40:19,750
-Who? Where?
-The angel back there. Don't look.
540
00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:23,330
You think you love her. That's your
problem, because you love drama.
541
00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,787
-Yes, I know. I know.
-What are we waiting for?
542
00:40:25,958 --> 00:40:27,448
Yes, let's go.
543
00:41:58,042 --> 00:42:00,875
What does she see in her?
She looks cheap.
544
00:42:01,042 --> 00:42:05,161
I'm not omniscient just because
I'm a clitoris now. I'll get drinks.
545
00:42:14,583 --> 00:42:16,745
Hey, can I have five beers, please?
546
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,911
Yes, Bettina, wait.
547
00:42:20,292 --> 00:42:22,203
Yes, I have the results.
548
00:42:23,375 --> 00:42:26,288
Marvin Bosch did actually take drugs.
549
00:42:26,750 --> 00:42:29,037
Psilocybin, that's a hallucinogen.
550
00:42:30,042 --> 00:42:31,407
I was shocked too.
551
00:42:31,667 --> 00:42:33,203
Markus, we need pictures.
552
00:42:33,458 --> 00:42:35,950
Our readers don't want to read,
they want to look at pics.
553
00:42:36,125 --> 00:42:38,992
Does he shoot up
or put a tampon up his butt?
554
00:42:39,167 --> 00:42:42,580
Then we'd have a great teaser,
"Marvin's fungi booty".
555
00:42:42,833 --> 00:42:46,121
Or "Mushroom season with Marvin Bosch".
556
00:42:46,625 --> 00:42:49,242
Well, you can stick anything
up your butt.
557
00:42:49,417 --> 00:42:52,205
Great. And we'll use
the nude pic from back then.
558
00:42:52,375 --> 00:42:55,333
Oh yes, Marvin's nude pic.
559
00:42:55,583 --> 00:42:57,950
We all have it as our desktop wallpaper.
560
00:42:58,125 --> 00:42:59,786
Had it at the time.
561
00:43:02,708 --> 00:43:04,619
Hey, sweet little flower?
562
00:43:04,792 --> 00:43:07,329
You've been sneaking around
for a while now.
563
00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:10,457
You forgot your beers.
564
00:43:14,167 --> 00:43:15,407
Mom.
565
00:43:17,417 --> 00:43:19,749
But today you'd be proud of me
for a change.
566
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,618
What's so bad about that?
So the gutter press writes about you.
567
00:43:26,792 --> 00:43:29,705
-In the real world, no one cares.
-Oh yeah?
568
00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:33,492
This is my real world.
I've been doing this since I was 18.
569
00:43:33,667 --> 00:43:36,864
Everyone is interested.
The dirtier, the better.
570
00:43:37,042 --> 00:43:40,205
Do you know what it's like
when every fart is published?
571
00:43:40,458 --> 00:43:43,951
When every relationship, every secret,
becomes a sort of common knowledge.
572
00:43:44,125 --> 00:43:45,957
Amusement for the people.
573
00:43:46,125 --> 00:43:49,163
Nothing that happens in my life is mine.
Not even my dick.
574
00:43:50,333 --> 00:43:52,370
One of my exes posted it
while I was sleeping.
575
00:43:52,542 --> 00:43:54,158
After I told her I loved her.
576
00:43:54,333 --> 00:43:57,951
Dude, chill. You were puking
on the street while high on shrooms.
577
00:43:58,125 --> 00:44:00,583
So? You don't go to prison for that.
578
00:44:00,750 --> 00:44:03,333
That would be a proper problem.
That would be bad.
579
00:44:07,208 --> 00:44:08,664
What?
580
00:44:09,083 --> 00:44:10,665
Why are you leaving now?
581
00:44:11,375 --> 00:44:13,742
Were you in prison, or what?
582
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:17,447
-Huh?
-It was a bad idea coming here.
583
00:44:18,250 --> 00:44:20,958
Are you nuts? Are you leaving?
Is that how you always do it?
584
00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:24,948
Thanks for just celebrating
the great hero saving the theater.
585
00:44:25,125 --> 00:44:27,833
But now
you can't be bothered anymore. Yes.
586
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,992
How handy. I can't cause you any stress,
I signed a contract.
587
00:44:31,250 --> 00:44:34,242
You know what? Why don't you go
fuck yourself, superstar?
588
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,082
I'd like to apologize.
589
00:45:03,292 --> 00:45:05,579
Maybe I do take off
when the going gets tough.
590
00:45:05,833 --> 00:45:06,994
I'm
591
00:45:08,208 --> 00:45:09,869
just not used to...
592
00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:11,990
being so honest.
593
00:45:13,458 --> 00:45:16,416
I'm shocked.
You're a real human with feelings.
594
00:45:16,958 --> 00:45:18,824
Are you staying now, or what?
595
00:45:19,083 --> 00:45:21,120
I thought I was supposed to fuck myself.
596
00:45:21,292 --> 00:45:22,703
Yes, briefly.
597
00:45:22,875 --> 00:45:25,082
After that, you can stay,
for all I care.
598
00:45:25,250 --> 00:45:27,161
Maybe you'll even dare to go on stage.
599
00:45:36,458 --> 00:45:39,200
You think I don't dare go on stage?
600
00:45:39,375 --> 00:45:42,538
I'm an actor.
That's my main job, so to speak.
601
00:45:45,667 --> 00:45:48,830
You were right, you weren't the only
one who screwed up in life.
602
00:45:49,833 --> 00:45:51,244
How do you mean?
603
00:45:54,458 --> 00:45:57,905
I killed someone
and my family won't talk to me anymore.
604
00:45:59,417 --> 00:46:01,078
Are you serious?
605
00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:07,743
I was 15, and there was a guy
who was much older than me.
606
00:46:08,458 --> 00:46:11,496
I didn't want it and I was hoping
that nothing would happen,
607
00:46:11,667 --> 00:46:13,704
but he had other plans, and then...
608
00:46:14,583 --> 00:46:18,747
I went to one of those abortion clinics
and dealt with the matter.
609
00:46:24,833 --> 00:46:26,494
And your family found out?
610
00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:27,956
Yes.
611
00:46:29,750 --> 00:46:31,707
I'm no longer their daughter.
612
00:46:33,333 --> 00:46:36,405
Every now and then my sister
calls on my birthday and then...
613
00:46:36,583 --> 00:46:38,244
we have a quick chat.
614
00:46:39,083 --> 00:46:42,201
I miss her too,
because we were really close, but...
615
00:46:43,583 --> 00:46:47,577
I just got used to...
not having a family anymore.
616
00:46:51,583 --> 00:46:52,789
Yes.
617
00:46:56,500 --> 00:46:57,990
I'm sorry.
618
00:47:02,292 --> 00:47:05,580
I'm sorry about the way I behaved.
My life isn't your fault.
619
00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:09,241
I know, it's ridiculous.
620
00:47:10,542 --> 00:47:13,034
There really is no reason
for me to complain.
621
00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:18,496
But maybe it doesn't make you happy.
That's okay.
622
00:47:19,958 --> 00:47:24,327
Maybe if I coat my Porsche with gold
or buy another polo pony.
623
00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:26,741
I think we're off-topic now.
624
00:47:26,917 --> 00:47:30,114
Another important question,
where do I find your nude pics?
625
00:47:33,083 --> 00:47:35,040
Your family is really missing out.
626
00:47:36,208 --> 00:47:40,202
You might be one of the most
lovable people I've met lately.
627
00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:41,490
Might be?
628
00:47:41,667 --> 00:47:44,955
It's the 2000s,
everyone has an exit plan.
629
00:47:45,208 --> 00:47:48,405
Hm...
are you one of those dysfunctional types
630
00:47:48,583 --> 00:47:51,450
who has a crush on me
but can't admit it?
631
00:47:51,625 --> 00:47:52,740
It's possible.
632
00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:56,620
You're the first girl
to put a finger down my throat.
633
00:47:58,208 --> 00:48:01,200
- I had hoped so. Was it good for you?
-Unforgettable.
634
00:48:03,667 --> 00:48:05,533
I don't normally fall in love,
635
00:48:05,792 --> 00:48:09,786
because I personally think
the classic relationship model is crap.
636
00:48:09,958 --> 00:48:11,699
Maybe you should know that.
637
00:48:12,917 --> 00:48:15,329
All right. Noted.
638
00:49:13,042 --> 00:49:14,953
EMASCULATION
THE FINAL DAYS OF PATRIARCHY
639
00:49:45,250 --> 00:49:49,164
MUSHROOM SEASON FOR MARVIN BOSCH
640
00:49:49,417 --> 00:49:52,580
MOVIE STAR IS A DRUG ADDICT!
641
00:49:58,833 --> 00:50:01,825
"Does the popular actor
have a dark past?
642
00:50:02,083 --> 00:50:04,745
Is this Marvin Bosch's final crash?"
643
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,206
Fuck.
644
00:50:08,333 --> 00:50:10,620
Shit! Fucking shit!
645
00:50:11,292 --> 00:50:12,748
Marv, my boy.
646
00:50:13,458 --> 00:50:15,916
If you are out there somewhere...
647
00:50:16,458 --> 00:50:19,075
I've been lost before too.
648
00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:21,287
But I can promise you one thing.
649
00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:23,415
I know how you can get out of there.
650
00:50:23,583 --> 00:50:26,416
I can make you fit again
against the drugs.
651
00:50:26,667 --> 00:50:29,079
I'm here for you. Your Rainer.
652
00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:44,698
Yes?
653
00:50:44,958 --> 00:50:47,245
You know how I always say,
we can do anything,
654
00:50:47,417 --> 00:50:49,579
I'll solve your every problem?
655
00:50:49,833 --> 00:50:51,494
-And destroy it?
-Yes.
656
00:50:51,667 --> 00:50:54,409
Not this time.
Have you seen the headlines?
657
00:50:55,083 --> 00:50:57,666
-Nope.
-Okay, never mind. Listen.
658
00:50:57,833 --> 00:50:59,449
The Bamberger thing wasn't good.
659
00:50:59,625 --> 00:51:02,333
Your next films
are postponed indefinitely.
660
00:51:02,500 --> 00:51:03,911
-What?
-Or cancelled.
661
00:51:04,167 --> 00:51:07,580
They can't do that.
We need to fight back or something.
662
00:51:07,750 --> 00:51:10,208
We can't fight back.
That would make it worse.
663
00:51:10,833 --> 00:51:13,905
-You'd be waking sleeping dogs.
-Then I'm unemployed for now.
664
00:51:14,083 --> 00:51:15,869
But it'll sort itself out again.
665
00:51:16,042 --> 00:51:18,454
And we have that
lucrative car ad this year.
666
00:51:18,708 --> 00:51:22,451
Well, about that car ad
and the free vehicles,
667
00:51:22,625 --> 00:51:24,992
that's suboptimal at the moment too.
668
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,867
Meaning?
Don't use fancy words like that.
669
00:51:30,208 --> 00:51:31,448
What was that noise?
670
00:51:31,625 --> 00:51:33,366
I think it's time
671
00:51:33,625 --> 00:51:35,741
we said goodbye to a few things.
672
00:51:36,417 --> 00:51:39,910
I have good news too. Do you remember
the people from the juice ad?
673
00:51:40,167 --> 00:51:41,657
They still want you.
674
00:51:42,375 --> 00:51:45,572
If you mix it with gin and tonic
it doesn't taste so bad.
675
00:51:45,833 --> 00:51:48,621
The strange fruit bomb
with the pug as a mascot?
676
00:51:48,792 --> 00:51:51,534
Yep. But you need
to tell me now if you're in.
677
00:51:51,708 --> 00:51:54,416
-Or else they'll shoot without you.
-Yes.
678
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,707
-Okay.
-Yes? Okay.
679
00:51:58,125 --> 00:51:59,240
Sammy.
680
00:52:00,125 --> 00:52:02,241
What if what we did back then gets out?
681
00:52:02,500 --> 00:52:06,414
Marvin, don't worry. It won't come out.
No one besides us knows.
682
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,578
! need to take care of this.
683
00:52:10,417 --> 00:52:11,623
Hello?
684
00:52:13,625 --> 00:52:18,119
Hey! That's mine.
I bought that, the normal way.
685
00:52:18,375 --> 00:52:20,457
Do you want one of Jacky's weak coffees
686
00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:22,741
or cheap orange juice
past its sell-by date?
687
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,207
Thanks, I don't need anything.
688
00:52:25,917 --> 00:52:29,706
Since we've seen each other naked
and put things into our bodies,
689
00:52:29,958 --> 00:52:32,040
we can ride to rehearsal together,
right?
690
00:52:32,208 --> 00:52:34,324
What? What do you want?
691
00:52:37,333 --> 00:52:40,576
Okay, so this is the morning after.
I get it. I see.
692
00:52:40,750 --> 00:52:42,912
Thanks, it was nice talking to you.
693
00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:50,041
Abi, don't worry. It won't come out.
694
00:52:50,917 --> 00:52:52,624
No one besides us knows.
695
00:52:52,792 --> 00:52:53,907
Let go.
696
00:53:17,417 --> 00:53:20,864
80% of all violent crimes in Germany
are committed by men.
697
00:53:21,125 --> 00:53:23,116
In Europe, one woman in three
698
00:53:23,292 --> 00:53:25,499
has experienced
physical or sexual violence.
699
00:53:25,667 --> 00:53:26,828
One in three.
700
00:53:27,083 --> 00:53:29,950
Last year alone, over 130 women
701
00:53:30,125 --> 00:53:32,833
were murdered by their partners
or ex-partners.
702
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,035
That's bad.
703
00:53:34,292 --> 00:53:39,583
But before we're all stricken by great
concern, let me tell you what's worse.
704
00:53:39,833 --> 00:53:42,450
Since Me Too, there are actually men
705
00:53:42,625 --> 00:53:45,583
who don't know how to pay
a compliment to a woman.
706
00:53:46,250 --> 00:53:47,706
Yes, that's terrible, right?
707
00:53:47,875 --> 00:53:50,583
I mean, how is Ansgar from bookkeeping
708
00:53:50,750 --> 00:53:53,868
to tell his colleague
that she's a hot number?
709
00:53:54,042 --> 00:53:56,875
That's the real tragedy of Me Too,
actually.
710
00:53:57,125 --> 00:54:00,083
I had my first blind date
the other day. Ever had one?
711
00:54:01,042 --> 00:54:04,239
It's amazing. A total thrill.
Jumping in at the deep end.
712
00:54:04,417 --> 00:54:07,864
It's like opening the fridge
in a shared apartment of five,
713
00:54:08,125 --> 00:54:10,492
taking out the milk and just drinking.
714
00:54:10,667 --> 00:54:11,998
Without smelling it first.
715
00:54:12,167 --> 00:54:15,831
Anything could be in there.
Milk, curds, cigarette butts.
716
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,322
Yes, that's the thrill, that's life.
I did that.
717
00:54:19,500 --> 00:54:23,448
I arrived at the date and the woman
who was sitting there waiting for me...
718
00:54:23,625 --> 00:54:25,912
Wow, she was really super beautiful.
719
00:54:26,167 --> 00:54:30,206
She had huge eyes
and somehow, she wasn't blinking.
720
00:54:30,458 --> 00:54:32,916
She was sitting there
and it became clear to me
721
00:54:33,167 --> 00:54:35,374
that she was just surprised.
722
00:54:35,625 --> 00:54:39,289
I would be too, if I had a blind date
with a guy named Hans
723
00:54:39,458 --> 00:54:40,869
and I showed up.
724
00:54:41,792 --> 00:54:45,239
But unlike my apartment viewings,
725
00:54:45,417 --> 00:54:49,240
I wasn't sent away straight away,
I was allowed to stay and we talked.
726
00:54:49,417 --> 00:54:50,748
I quickly realized
727
00:54:50,917 --> 00:54:54,364
that she was just a little bit racist.
728
00:54:54,542 --> 00:54:57,455
Well, she wasn't an Eva Braun,
but she was...
729
00:54:57,625 --> 00:54:59,787
BFF material for Alice Weidel, I'd say.
730
00:55:00,583 --> 00:55:03,871
Naturally, part of me wanted
to leave straightaway.
731
00:55:04,625 --> 00:55:06,957
But on the other hand...
732
00:55:07,125 --> 00:55:09,742
she was really super sweet.
733
00:55:09,917 --> 00:55:13,160
That's why the other part of me
somehow didn't want to go.
734
00:55:13,417 --> 00:55:17,331
And no, not that part.
No, no, it was my brain.
735
00:55:17,500 --> 00:55:20,242
Because a week before,
I had read a study
736
00:55:20,500 --> 00:55:25,290
that right-wing voters have a tendency
to be sexually frustrated people.
737
00:55:26,333 --> 00:55:27,823
Understand what I was thinking?
738
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:32,039
I thought maybe I can give
something back to society.
739
00:55:32,292 --> 00:55:36,490
Well, not in a macho kind of way,
like "fucking the woman's brain out",
740
00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:38,081
but the other way around.
741
00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:41,322
Maybe you can actually
have the brain go in...
742
00:55:41,583 --> 00:55:47,033
That was my contribution
to a better society. You're welcome.
743
00:55:47,750 --> 00:55:50,822
People don't like it when you actually
come out of the closet.
744
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:56,040
Firstly, there are ugly words in play,
like gay or lesbian.
745
00:55:56,292 --> 00:55:58,704
And secondly, there are lots of folks
746
00:55:58,875 --> 00:56:01,116
who think that people
who come out of the closet
747
00:56:01,292 --> 00:56:04,250
are basically just attention-seekers.
748
00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:08,698
Because we don't just want to be queer,
bi, lesbian, whatever,
749
00:56:08,875 --> 00:56:13,199
but we are also so bold
as to express it publicly.
750
00:56:13,458 --> 00:56:17,452
Don't get me wrong, but all films
except problem films... hetero.
751
00:56:17,708 --> 00:56:22,282
Worldwide broadcasts
of aristocrat weddings... hetero.
752
00:56:22,542 --> 00:56:26,581
I'd hope for the future
that at the next six-hour live broadcast
753
00:56:26,750 --> 00:56:30,323
of a European aristocrat wedding,
there'd be five minutes of...
754
00:56:30,583 --> 00:56:31,914
royal outings.
755
00:56:32,167 --> 00:56:34,579
That's not asking for too much.
756
00:56:36,167 --> 00:56:38,204
What makes a real man?
757
00:56:38,458 --> 00:56:40,415
I've asked myself that a lot.
758
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:44,072
Okay, it could be because at my birth...
759
00:56:44,250 --> 00:56:46,992
there was a little equipment error.
760
00:56:47,167 --> 00:56:50,410
Not what you think,
"Ha ha, penis too small." No, no.
761
00:56:51,042 --> 00:56:52,624
No penis at all.
762
00:56:53,250 --> 00:56:55,366
Nothing. Niente.
763
00:56:55,542 --> 00:56:58,250
Someone pressed the space key. Yes.
764
00:56:58,417 --> 00:57:01,079
I was put into the body of a woman.
765
00:57:01,792 --> 00:57:03,499
Shit happens. But fine.
766
00:57:03,667 --> 00:57:07,240
Adjust the crown, keep going.
And that's what I did.
767
00:57:07,417 --> 00:57:09,749
I remember how happy I was
768
00:57:09,917 --> 00:57:11,908
when I was able to start
with the hormones.
769
00:57:12,083 --> 00:57:13,915
Finally, testosterone.
770
00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:16,825
Yes, and
then I was sitting there one day,
771
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,617
I lit my last vanilla-scented candle,
772
00:57:19,792 --> 00:57:21,783
embalmed with testosterone...
773
00:57:22,458 --> 00:57:24,495
and do you know what happened then?
774
00:57:26,417 --> 00:57:27,532
Nothing.
775
00:57:28,958 --> 00:57:33,247
For the first time in my life, I was
able to sit for two hours in a row,
776
00:57:33,417 --> 00:57:36,455
stare into nothing
and my thoughts revolved around nothing.
777
00:57:36,708 --> 00:57:39,496
Do you want to know what it looks
like inside the head of a guy?
778
00:57:39,667 --> 00:57:43,456
Picture a shopping mall
during a Covid lockdown.
779
00:57:44,458 --> 00:57:47,075
Speaking of man, here's our newcomer.
780
00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,992
Right, rookie. Show us what you've got.
781
00:57:54,167 --> 00:57:57,831
Yes, I... I thought
I'd do something about rappers.
782
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:06,616
What about...
783
00:58:06,792 --> 00:58:08,408
climate protection?
784
00:58:09,958 --> 00:58:11,699
Do something about yourself.
785
00:58:11,875 --> 00:58:14,333
Or maybe even... about dating.
786
00:58:14,583 --> 00:58:18,326
That's right, hundreds of willing women
throw themselves at the star.
787
00:58:18,583 --> 00:58:21,166
-What?
-Pardon?
788
00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:25,406
Hey, I don't care if you're in the midst
of a self-discovery process,
789
00:58:25,583 --> 00:58:28,450
but... oh, you're wasting our time.
790
00:58:29,167 --> 00:58:32,580
I think the whole thing was a shit idea.
It was a mistake.
791
00:58:34,708 --> 00:58:36,039
Yes, probably.
792
00:58:37,375 --> 00:58:39,787
You see? Men don't get along.
793
00:58:40,042 --> 00:58:42,158
Far too emotional.
794
00:58:44,458 --> 00:58:46,199
Thank you. That's enough.
795
00:58:48,625 --> 00:58:49,831
Here's to us.
796
00:58:52,750 --> 00:58:54,866
Mm, this is good.
797
00:58:55,958 --> 00:58:57,665
You weren't very easy to find.
798
00:58:57,833 --> 00:59:00,040
So many cell phone shops in Neukölln.
799
00:59:00,292 --> 00:59:03,830
It's an amazingly quaint area.
You feel... at home right away.
800
00:59:04,083 --> 00:59:06,700
If you don't mind the stabbings,
it's pretty cozy.
801
00:59:07,958 --> 00:59:11,121
Do you know that I come
from a simple background too?
802
00:59:11,292 --> 00:59:12,282
You?
803
00:59:12,542 --> 00:59:14,374
And back then I swore to myself...
804
00:59:15,083 --> 00:59:17,074
Bettina, you will get out of there.
805
00:59:17,250 --> 00:59:19,207
So we have something in common.
806
00:59:19,458 --> 00:59:24,248
I come to you with a request, and
friends are supposed to help each other.
807
00:59:24,417 --> 00:59:28,615
Both of us, your friend Marvin and I,
and maybe...
808
00:59:29,625 --> 00:59:31,161
you.
809
00:59:38,792 --> 00:59:40,374
What is this for?
810
00:59:40,542 --> 00:59:44,456
Let's say,
a deposit on another life, hm?
811
00:59:49,458 --> 00:59:53,281
And Marvin? I mean,
you caused the mess with my friend.
812
00:59:54,292 --> 00:59:55,748
The bad headlines.
813
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:58,992
His films are on the backburner
because of you.
814
00:59:59,500 --> 01:00:02,458
He's losing everything right now.
So, what is this?
815
01:00:02,708 --> 01:00:05,666
I can only write what I have
about your friend.
816
01:00:05,833 --> 01:00:09,246
If I get something nice,
I'll write something nice.
817
01:00:10,208 --> 01:00:12,370
I'd like to help you. Understood, Hakan?
818
01:00:12,625 --> 01:00:15,993
I had people look for you.
I don't do that for nothing.
819
01:00:17,958 --> 01:00:20,450
Do you think I'd betray my best friend?
820
01:00:20,958 --> 01:00:25,407
This isn't about betrayal.
It's about loyalty and friendship.
821
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,583
My instinct tells me
that there's a story.
822
01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:32,573
And if you really want to help Marvin,
then tell it to me.
823
01:00:32,750 --> 01:00:35,287
Let the people know who he really is.
824
01:00:36,583 --> 01:00:39,325
Believe me, Marvin needs you now.
825
01:00:42,292 --> 01:00:45,284
Get the fuck out of my shop, right now.
826
01:00:45,917 --> 01:00:47,282
I want you gone.
827
01:00:53,958 --> 01:00:56,950
This is the phone number of my editor.
828
01:00:57,833 --> 01:01:01,371
You need to be clear about one thing.
It will be reported on anyway.
829
01:01:01,542 --> 01:01:03,829
You have a choice
of who is the narrator.
830
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:05,365
The press?
831
01:01:06,333 --> 01:01:09,405
Or a good friend?
Someone who really loves him.
832
01:01:10,708 --> 01:01:12,915
Think about it, okay?
833
01:01:22,292 --> 01:01:25,910
Your diva attitude is getting
on my nerves. Will you come in?
834
01:01:26,167 --> 01:01:28,408
-Rocco will apologize.
-I have a lot on my plate.
835
01:01:28,583 --> 01:01:31,655
-It's not an attitude, it's chaos.
-So what?
836
01:01:34,292 --> 01:01:38,616
And it would be better if we kept what
happened yesterday between us for now.
837
01:01:39,333 --> 01:01:40,789
People are writing too much as is.
838
01:01:41,542 --> 01:01:44,204
Because I've seen you naked?
Everybody has.
839
01:01:44,458 --> 01:01:47,826
-What am I to tell?
-Please don't be mad at me, okay?
840
01:01:48,792 --> 01:01:50,123
Are you serious?
841
01:01:50,750 --> 01:01:53,913
Know what? I wish the whole shit
wouldn't have happened.
842
01:01:54,083 --> 01:01:59,157
Don't come back here and leave me alone.
Your babysitter's here. You need to go.
843
01:02:04,125 --> 01:02:05,741
Take care.
844
01:02:05,917 --> 01:02:08,329
Still, it was nice to have met you.
845
01:02:10,625 --> 01:02:13,117
Hey, wait! What about the money?
846
01:02:18,292 --> 01:02:20,954
Tell me, did you screw him last night?
847
01:02:21,917 --> 01:02:24,705
Yes, but only because I was bored.
It was really dull.
848
01:02:25,333 --> 01:02:26,744
Fuck.
849
01:02:36,083 --> 01:02:37,369
Are you not feeling well?
850
01:02:40,333 --> 01:02:42,449
There was a bit of stress.
851
01:02:42,625 --> 01:02:45,208
Wow... Hang on.
You had it going on yesterday.
852
01:02:46,250 --> 01:02:48,116
It's over before it started, okay?
853
01:02:49,375 --> 01:02:52,697
We leave you alone
with the feminists the one time...
854
01:02:52,958 --> 01:02:54,869
Who was it?
855
01:02:55,042 --> 01:02:58,239
But not that crazy lesbian, right?
What was her name again?
856
01:02:58,875 --> 01:03:01,162
The crazy lesbian's name is Jacky.
It wasn't her.
857
01:03:01,792 --> 01:03:02,782
Jacky.
858
01:03:02,958 --> 01:03:05,416
-Can we talk about something else?
-Yes, sure.
859
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:08,241
Hakan, Marvin is now a clitoris.
860
01:03:08,875 --> 01:03:11,708
That's fine.
Then at least I can find it.
861
01:03:12,833 --> 01:03:15,495
-By the way, it's female feminists.
-Oh God.
862
01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:18,159
Let him be a feminist.
It's the only thing he still has.
863
01:03:18,333 --> 01:03:22,281
-His life is going down the drain.
-Thanks. Now I feel better.
864
01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:25,780
You're trying to explain feminists
to me now or what?
865
01:03:26,708 --> 01:03:28,995
Guys, listen up. I'm a woman.
866
01:03:29,250 --> 01:03:32,322
I have a job.
I negotiate his contracts alone.
867
01:03:32,583 --> 01:03:36,121
I run the show. And now you want
to teach me about feminism.
868
01:03:36,375 --> 01:03:38,491
Who's been toiling
non-stop for years here?
869
01:03:38,750 --> 01:03:40,707
Hey, I'm happy to take a break.
870
01:03:41,333 --> 01:03:44,451
-You wouldn't even make it to set.
-Guys, that's enough.
871
01:03:44,625 --> 01:03:48,289
We once promised
to be honest to each other. Right?
872
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,490
So, let's talk.
873
01:03:55,417 --> 01:03:57,328
Here's work for you.
874
01:03:58,125 --> 01:04:00,492
You need to sign the autograph cards.
875
01:04:02,875 --> 01:04:05,162
I hate autograph cards.
876
01:04:06,417 --> 01:04:08,454
Man, damn it!
877
01:04:08,708 --> 01:04:12,281
Abi. Take what we do here
seriously again.
878
01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:14,786
I'm working my butt off for you.
879
01:04:16,750 --> 01:04:18,366
For me or for you?
880
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:22,583
I'm all about us
and what we've become, but...
881
01:04:22,833 --> 01:04:24,915
it's always about cash and success!
882
01:04:27,333 --> 01:04:28,323
Wow.
883
01:04:29,292 --> 01:04:32,000
Can you tell me
why we never went to see him?
884
01:04:35,833 --> 01:04:37,915
Because we're too cowardly.
885
01:04:39,625 --> 01:04:40,831
Yes.
886
01:04:45,458 --> 01:04:47,574
Yes, because we're too cowardly.
887
01:05:02,042 --> 01:05:04,659
-I don't believe this.
-What is it?
888
01:05:04,833 --> 01:05:06,540
It's the stray from the hotel.
889
01:05:06,708 --> 01:05:08,915
Hello, my friend.
890
01:05:09,083 --> 01:05:11,916
What are you doing here? Yes.
891
01:05:12,083 --> 01:05:14,996
-Throw the cat out.
-I'm afraid I have to work. Come.
892
01:05:17,333 --> 01:05:19,700
Okay. Right, little one.
893
01:05:19,875 --> 01:05:21,866
You wait here for me, okay?
894
01:05:22,708 --> 01:05:25,450
-Hi.
-Hello. Bibo's my name.
895
01:05:25,625 --> 01:05:28,868
Nice to meet you, hello.
Our star, Marvin. Hi.
896
01:05:29,042 --> 01:05:32,740
You can go straight to makeup.
We're having problems with Gunther.
897
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:36,288
-Gunther?
-The fructigalactic pug. The mascot.
898
01:05:36,458 --> 01:05:39,655
Right,
it's important not to address Gunther.
899
01:05:39,833 --> 01:05:41,824
If he looks at you, tilt your head,
900
01:05:42,083 --> 01:05:44,165
don't make him nervous,
he doesn't like it.
901
01:05:44,333 --> 01:05:47,530
Will someone have mercy and
get us coffee? Our second star is here!
902
01:05:47,708 --> 01:05:49,574
-Wait, why second star?
-That's right.
903
01:05:49,833 --> 01:05:51,699
I'm really nervous.
It's going to be awesome.
904
01:05:51,958 --> 01:05:54,916
-Hello, sweetie. I'm doing you today.
-Can we do this faster?
905
01:05:55,167 --> 01:05:56,783
Do I have to do everything on my own?
906
01:05:57,042 --> 01:05:58,749
First you, then the pug. Please.
907
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:00,582
-Gunther is getting made up?
-Yes.
908
01:06:00,833 --> 01:06:03,951
The pug is difficult.
I've shot children's series with him.
909
01:06:04,125 --> 01:06:05,991
-But you can do it.
-Hello. Gigi.
910
01:06:06,750 --> 01:06:09,037
Our assistants have spoken to yours.
911
01:06:09,208 --> 01:06:11,996
Hi, nice to meet you.
Listen, it's going to be awesome.
912
01:06:12,167 --> 01:06:14,659
You're basically
flying through the air shouting
913
01:06:14,833 --> 01:06:17,495
"I feel fructigalactic!" All in the air.
914
01:06:17,750 --> 01:06:19,616
Cool or cool?
915
01:06:19,792 --> 01:06:22,534
-Cool.
-I heard "second star"? That's...
916
01:06:22,792 --> 01:06:26,160
This is rad. Can someone
fix my receding hairline?
917
01:06:26,333 --> 01:06:28,244
Pronto. Great. Thanks.
918
01:06:30,375 --> 01:06:33,208
Marvelous Marvin Bosch is in da house.
919
01:06:33,458 --> 01:06:35,950
-Yo. Finally, we're shooting together.
-Hey. Yes.
920
01:06:36,125 --> 01:06:37,456
This will be bam.
921
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:42,207
-What is he doing here?
-That wasn't the deal.
922
01:06:42,458 --> 01:06:43,573
He's your partner.
923
01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:46,996
The client's spontaneous idea.
It's not a problem, is it?
924
01:06:47,708 --> 01:06:50,075
No problem. I'll do my job, as always.
925
01:06:50,708 --> 01:06:53,245
-Good.
-This will be awesome. Awesome.
926
01:06:55,333 --> 01:06:57,415
And... action.
927
01:06:58,125 --> 01:07:01,413
Do you know what
eight kinds of fruit feel like?
928
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:03,707
-Fruchti... Shit!
-Cut!
929
01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:06,290
-Damn.
-You feel fructigalactic.
930
01:07:06,458 --> 01:07:08,290
"Fructigalactic” is our word.
931
01:07:08,542 --> 01:07:10,579
-Fructigalactic.
-That's it.
932
01:07:10,750 --> 01:07:12,957
-It says it here too.
-Yes.
933
01:07:13,125 --> 01:07:15,116
-I'll do it on the next one.
-It's all good.
934
01:07:15,375 --> 01:07:17,707
Back in L.A.,
I used to do all my own stunts.
935
01:07:17,875 --> 01:07:19,616
It's part of the job for me.
936
01:07:19,875 --> 01:07:22,742
You had a bit part in L. A. 20 years ago.
937
01:07:22,917 --> 01:07:24,373
Take it down a notch, okay?
938
01:07:24,625 --> 01:07:26,832
-I think Marvin's exhausted.
-All ready?
939
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:29,241
I want to punch the guy in the face.
940
01:07:29,417 --> 01:07:30,782
-Same here.
-And Marvin?
941
01:07:31,042 --> 01:07:32,703
-Yes?
-With emotion, please.
942
01:07:32,958 --> 01:07:36,371
- I need to feel the fructigalactic.
-Okay.
943
01:07:37,083 --> 01:07:41,953
I learned that in L.A.
doing method acting in my bit part.
944
01:07:42,125 --> 01:07:44,332
-Shut up, Rainer.
-You shut up, juice boy.
945
01:07:44,583 --> 01:07:46,540
And action.
946
01:07:47,917 --> 01:07:51,114
Do you know what
eight kinds of fruit feel like?
947
01:07:53,333 --> 01:07:56,200
-I feel fructicool...
-Cut.
948
01:07:56,917 --> 01:07:59,079
-Fucktigalactic, man.
-Sorry.
949
01:07:59,250 --> 01:08:01,617
-And you say it in the air!
-It's not that easy, sorry.
950
01:08:01,792 --> 01:08:03,282
When we pull you up, man!
951
01:08:03,542 --> 01:08:05,658
-Let's do another one.
-Action.
952
01:08:06,292 --> 01:08:09,739
- I feel fructiganothing...
-Fructigalactic would be super.
953
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:11,616
I feel fructicra...
954
01:08:11,875 --> 01:08:13,582
-Try again. Maybe you'll get it.
-Yes.
955
01:08:13,833 --> 01:08:16,450
Fruchtigala... Fuck. Fuck.
956
01:08:16,708 --> 01:08:19,325
Fructigalactic. With "c".
957
01:08:19,583 --> 01:08:22,575
-Fructi... fucking fruit!
-Cut. Break.
958
01:08:26,333 --> 01:08:27,664
-Bam.
-Oh my.
959
01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:29,073
...galactic.
960
01:08:30,125 --> 01:08:32,036
I just had it. Now I have it.
961
01:08:32,292 --> 01:08:35,580
-No.
-Let's just do it again right away.
962
01:08:42,667 --> 01:08:44,203
There you go.
963
01:08:45,500 --> 01:08:47,286
To us, my Bambi.
964
01:08:47,542 --> 01:08:50,739
You remember my elegy
of you and the pearly seashell?
965
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,332
An elegy is a lament, René.
966
01:08:54,042 --> 01:08:55,328
Right, I'm sorry.
967
01:08:55,583 --> 01:08:59,076
I was going to serve... no emphasize
the ambivalent, emotional...
968
01:08:59,250 --> 01:09:02,083
-You're a woman with so many faces.
-Yes.
969
01:09:02,625 --> 01:09:05,242
Although,
the irritated one often prevails...
970
01:09:05,417 --> 01:09:07,078
Are we starting with that again?
971
01:09:07,250 --> 01:09:09,241
Sorry, that was poorly expressed.
972
01:09:09,417 --> 01:09:11,249
I meant to say you're exciting...
973
01:09:11,417 --> 01:09:13,579
I see, why am I exciting?
What's exciting?
974
01:09:14,333 --> 01:09:17,451
-That you're uncomfortable and quick.
-Yes.
975
01:09:18,667 --> 01:09:20,829
Quick-tempered and dominant.
976
01:09:27,542 --> 01:09:30,864
You comparing me
to that housewife porn is the pits.
977
01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:35,411
Probably not quite fitting, but I want
to ask you once and for all...
978
01:09:35,583 --> 01:09:37,165
Bettina. We've got it.
979
01:09:37,417 --> 01:09:39,579
It was like you said. We're going live.
980
01:09:40,208 --> 01:09:43,280
Markus. Markus, I love you.
981
01:09:44,208 --> 01:09:46,700
-Okay.
-What are you doing down there?
982
01:09:46,875 --> 01:09:49,207
You're supposed
to look after your slipped disc.
983
01:09:49,375 --> 01:09:50,865
The... Bettina...
984
01:09:58,542 --> 01:10:00,203
See you. Come on, Markus.
985
01:10:00,458 --> 01:10:01,664
Yes.
986
01:10:06,542 --> 01:10:07,748
Thanks.
987
01:10:08,417 --> 01:10:11,205
The biggest crap
I've ever taken part in.
988
01:10:14,250 --> 01:10:16,036
Not the pants, they're from L.A.
989
01:10:16,292 --> 01:10:18,158
Hey, no.
990
01:10:18,875 --> 01:10:20,411
No, no violence.
991
01:10:22,208 --> 01:10:23,824
I won't sit on any more apples with you.
992
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:25,866
Shut your fructigalactic trap.
993
01:10:26,125 --> 01:10:28,162
-Oh, suddenly he can say it!
-That's enough.
994
01:10:28,417 --> 01:10:32,581
Hey, Marvin, we used you despite
your drug excesses, right?
995
01:10:32,750 --> 01:10:34,707
We were the only ones. You're finished.
996
01:10:34,958 --> 01:10:37,074
And by the way... fired.
997
01:10:37,333 --> 01:10:41,497
Okay, now... Can't we talk
about this in private? Okay. All right.
998
01:10:41,750 --> 01:10:43,161
Don't touch me.
999
01:10:57,208 --> 01:11:00,121
MARVIN BOSCH - THE WHOLE TRUTH
LIVE ON BAMBERGERSHOW.DE
1000
01:11:15,667 --> 01:11:19,080
In the past weeks,
one name has dominated the headlines.
1001
01:11:19,250 --> 01:11:21,161
And that's Marvin Bosch.
1002
01:11:21,417 --> 01:11:24,125
We're all wondering who he really is.
1003
01:11:25,042 --> 01:11:28,615
Today's studio guest
has the shocking truth for us.
1004
01:11:28,875 --> 01:11:31,993
Please welcome
Marvin's childhood friend, Hakan Celik.
1005
01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:34,207
Hello, I'm here...
1006
01:11:34,458 --> 01:11:36,119
to help my pal Marvin.
1007
01:11:37,208 --> 01:11:40,576
All those headlines and reports, they...
1008
01:11:41,208 --> 01:11:43,119
they don't do justice to my friend.
1009
01:11:43,708 --> 01:11:45,494
He's really a good guy who...
1010
01:11:45,667 --> 01:11:48,375
just made a mistake, one time.
1011
01:11:48,625 --> 01:11:51,583
Tell us what happened back then.
1012
01:11:52,250 --> 01:11:53,786
It was...
1013
01:11:54,417 --> 01:11:56,829
a long time ago, many, many years.
1014
01:12:01,667 --> 01:12:03,453
There were four of us.
1015
01:12:03,625 --> 01:12:06,117
Marvin, Sammy, me and...
1016
01:12:07,542 --> 01:12:08,703
our friend Milan.
1017
01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:12,371
Let me pre-empt. You were close friends.
1018
01:12:12,625 --> 01:12:15,743
Yes, we... We were like family.
1019
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:20,414
With our actual families, the situation
was difficult for each of us.
1020
01:12:20,583 --> 01:12:22,665
Particularly for Marvin.
1021
01:12:22,833 --> 01:12:25,541
That's why you mustn't judge him.
1022
01:12:25,708 --> 01:12:27,870
You became a delinquent.
1023
01:12:28,042 --> 01:12:30,249
And then you had a very stupid idea.
1024
01:12:30,417 --> 01:12:32,704
Yes, it was my idea, not Marvin's.
1025
01:12:34,083 --> 01:12:35,573
You know...
1026
01:12:38,375 --> 01:12:40,286
I'm just an idiot.
1027
01:12:41,375 --> 01:12:43,457
I mean, we never had any money.
1028
01:12:44,875 --> 01:12:48,664
I thought if we rob a gas station,
that's easy money.
1029
01:12:48,833 --> 01:12:50,039
Wow.
1030
01:12:57,125 --> 01:12:59,492
-Give me the money, come on.
-Open the register.
1031
01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:01,115
-Go on!
-Don't do anything stupid.
1032
01:13:01,375 --> 01:13:04,493
When he opened the register,
it was the beginning of the end.
1033
01:13:04,750 --> 01:13:07,458
-Gun down.
-I don't want to shoot anyone.
1034
01:13:08,333 --> 01:13:09,823
Let go!
1035
01:13:13,083 --> 01:13:15,541
Our friend Milan caught the shot.
1036
01:13:17,458 --> 01:13:19,745
And we... we were scared shitless.
1037
01:13:20,000 --> 01:13:22,788
Marvin wanted to stay,
he wanted to help him.
1038
01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:25,491
But I pulled him away.
1039
01:13:28,417 --> 01:13:30,078
What kind of assholes were we?
1040
01:13:30,333 --> 01:13:32,665
Leaving our friend
lying there like that.
1041
01:13:33,417 --> 01:13:35,328
What happened then?
1042
01:13:36,208 --> 01:13:38,370
Of course, they caught us all.
1043
01:13:39,083 --> 01:13:40,869
And that was it for us.
1044
01:13:43,792 --> 01:13:45,783
But not for our friend.
1045
01:13:45,958 --> 01:13:47,744
What happened with your friend?
1046
01:13:48,333 --> 01:13:50,495
He was in the hospital for months.
1047
01:13:51,625 --> 01:13:53,115
All alone.
1048
01:13:53,750 --> 01:13:57,368
We... we got a few months of juvey.
1049
01:13:57,542 --> 01:14:01,331
But even when we were back out,
we never went to visit him.
1050
01:14:01,500 --> 01:14:03,332
We were just too cowardly.
1051
01:14:04,875 --> 01:14:07,116
Only Marvin kept asking after him.
1052
01:14:08,833 --> 01:14:10,574
He's a good person.
1053
01:14:12,667 --> 01:14:14,078
Unlike me.
1054
01:14:17,250 --> 01:14:19,912
The shocking truth about Marvin Bosch.
1055
01:14:20,083 --> 01:14:21,539
Who'd have thought
1056
01:14:21,708 --> 01:14:24,416
that the man
our underage daughters adore,
1057
01:14:24,583 --> 01:14:28,201
who dominates German movie screens,
ls in reality a convicted criminal?
1058
01:15:18,542 --> 01:15:22,285
Hey, Marvin, it's me, Hakan. I'm sorry.
1059
01:15:22,542 --> 01:15:24,874
I don't know
how [ could have been so naive.
1060
01:15:25,792 --> 01:15:27,453
Please, let's talk.
1061
01:15:28,083 --> 01:15:29,494
Get in touch.
1062
01:16:20,833 --> 01:16:23,495
TONIGHT! LAST SHOW
1063
01:16:40,833 --> 01:16:42,198
How do you know where I live?
1064
01:16:42,375 --> 01:16:45,413
This place was on TV more often
than your sexual characteristics.
1065
01:16:45,583 --> 01:16:47,415
And that's saying something.
1066
01:16:47,583 --> 01:16:51,156
Don't worry, I don't want sex.
I don't find you attractive at all.
1067
01:16:51,333 --> 01:16:54,451
Thanks.
Sorry, it's a bit untidy at the moment.
1068
01:16:54,625 --> 01:16:56,115
What's this?
1069
01:16:56,583 --> 01:16:58,699
What? Oh, art.
1070
01:17:00,542 --> 01:17:03,500
-Do you want a beer too?
-"Do you want a beer too?"
1071
01:17:03,750 --> 01:17:06,708
Do you think I'm here
because I want a stupid beer?
1072
01:17:08,917 --> 01:17:11,124
-Hey, have you lost it?
-"Hey, have you lost it?"
1073
01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:14,992
Just so it's clear,
I'm doing you a friendly turn.
1074
01:17:15,250 --> 01:17:16,615
Go on, stand up.
1075
01:17:16,792 --> 01:17:20,365
If this is about theater
or about Frieda, she's not into me.
1076
01:17:20,542 --> 01:17:23,864
- I was there.
-The gentleman paid a visit.
1077
01:17:24,042 --> 01:17:26,579
Well, I hope it wasn't too exhausting.
1078
01:17:26,833 --> 01:17:31,122
You have no idea what real problems are.
1079
01:17:32,292 --> 01:17:35,535
Do you know
how long a gender transition takes?
1080
01:17:35,708 --> 01:17:39,121
Rocco had to endure 15 surgeries.
1081
01:17:39,375 --> 01:17:41,241
Lots of pain, lots of fear.
1082
01:17:41,417 --> 01:17:45,331
Until he was the person
he should have been from the start.
1083
01:17:46,542 --> 01:17:49,000
And then he's also a really good father.
1084
01:17:49,250 --> 01:17:52,538
Or Wiebke. She's been
on psychotropic drugs for 20 years.
1085
01:17:52,708 --> 01:17:54,870
Which sometimes work better,
sometimes less so,
1086
01:17:55,042 --> 01:17:57,534
just to stop her from jumping off
the nearest bridge.
1087
01:17:57,708 --> 01:18:00,291
So fuck you, Marvin Bosch.
1088
01:18:00,542 --> 01:18:02,203
You, love thingie.
1089
01:18:05,750 --> 01:18:08,913
I have to say, you theater guys
often tell people to go fuck themselves.
1090
01:18:09,167 --> 01:18:12,364
People like Rocco, my dear.
They are fighters with dignity.
1091
01:18:12,625 --> 01:18:14,741
They aren't idiots like you are.
1092
01:18:14,917 --> 01:18:18,035
It's our last show today.
Then we'll close down.
1093
01:18:18,292 --> 01:18:22,160
So go take a fucking shower
and get dressed.
1094
01:18:25,458 --> 01:18:26,698
Right.
1095
01:18:26,875 --> 01:18:28,536
Now I'd like that beer.
1096
01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:35,447
All right, but first
I have to take care of something.
1097
01:18:35,708 --> 01:18:38,416
You don't know what I feel.
I have to see him every day.
1098
01:18:38,583 --> 01:18:42,201
-You have no idea what love is.
-Hey, I'm a love pro.
1099
01:18:42,458 --> 01:18:44,415
How do you think I got two kids?
1100
01:18:44,667 --> 01:18:47,534
-Go clean that up.
-As long as we all stay narrowminded.
1101
01:18:47,708 --> 01:18:51,155
You don't care that my heart's
breaking and my life's over, do you?
1102
01:18:51,417 --> 01:18:53,658
She said, without Marvin,
her life makes no sense.
1103
01:18:53,917 --> 01:18:56,158
She'll drop out of school
and become a housewife.
1104
01:18:56,333 --> 01:18:57,949
You won't drop out of school.
1105
01:18:58,125 --> 01:19:01,538
You'll study math and then
there'll be another star or a TikToker.
1106
01:19:01,792 --> 01:19:04,250
-There's only one Marvin.
-How do you know?
1107
01:19:04,500 --> 01:19:07,208
I don't have time
to listen to your mansplaining.
1108
01:19:07,375 --> 01:19:10,743
-I need to get a rag.
-Bring the math textbook, okay?
1109
01:19:12,333 --> 01:19:13,869
Are you an alcoholic now?
1110
01:19:14,042 --> 01:19:15,749
No, I want to relax,
1111
01:19:15,917 --> 01:19:19,285
because my kids have a crush
on a stupid film star.
1112
01:19:19,458 --> 01:19:22,871
-Alcohol kills brain cells.
-Which brain cells?
1113
01:19:23,125 --> 01:19:25,617
I'm cleaning, like I was commanded to.
1114
01:19:25,875 --> 01:19:26,910
Thank you.
1115
01:19:27,625 --> 01:19:30,538
You wanted to tell me
one of your strange stories.
1116
01:19:30,708 --> 01:19:31,914
Okay.
1117
01:19:33,292 --> 01:19:36,830
Once upon a time,
Snow White 2.0 was alive and well.
1118
01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:40,618
-She was the nicest and smartest of all.
-Was she the prettiest?
1119
01:19:40,792 --> 01:19:44,581
-Did she marry a star?
-You're totally brainwashed. No.
1120
01:19:44,833 --> 01:19:48,155
She was the nicest
and got the best grade in...
1121
01:19:48,333 --> 01:19:50,074
payroll accounting.
1122
01:19:50,250 --> 01:19:51,581
Just like her father.
1123
01:19:52,208 --> 01:19:54,916
Coincidentally,
the seven dwarves founded a company...
1124
01:19:55,083 --> 01:19:57,415
Seriously? Your job in a fairy tale?
1125
01:19:57,667 --> 01:19:59,908
-You are so uncreative.
-He has no idea of life.
1126
01:20:00,167 --> 01:20:02,329
And even less of love.
1127
01:20:04,208 --> 01:20:07,496
Would one of my daughters
relent and open the door?
1128
01:20:12,917 --> 01:20:14,032
Hi.
1129
01:20:17,792 --> 01:20:19,282
Okay, okay.
1130
01:20:20,333 --> 01:20:23,701
Hello, I'm Marvin.
I'm a friend of your father's. Is he in?
1131
01:20:23,875 --> 01:20:26,492
You're a friend of our father's?
1132
01:20:27,375 --> 01:20:29,457
May we come in?
1133
01:20:30,042 --> 01:20:32,124
Yes. Sure.
1134
01:20:45,167 --> 01:20:47,283
Nice to see you.
1135
01:20:47,458 --> 01:20:51,122
-What are you doing here?
-We're here to apologize.
1136
01:20:53,083 --> 01:20:56,155
Just like that, after 20 years?
1137
01:20:58,167 --> 01:20:59,202
Yes.
1138
01:21:05,375 --> 01:21:08,413
Will you come in
or do you want to stay in the hallway?
1139
01:21:14,833 --> 01:21:18,497
-Anyone else want tea?
-If it's no trouble.
1140
01:21:18,667 --> 01:21:21,284
Nonsense, we always do a lot
around the house.
1141
01:21:21,542 --> 01:21:24,455
-Dad, you too?
-Nope, not right now. Thanks.
1142
01:21:24,708 --> 01:21:28,281
Do you want to get some cookies out
and maybe clean your rooms?
1143
01:21:28,458 --> 01:21:31,450
-We always do.
-We love tidying up.
1144
01:21:33,125 --> 01:21:35,537
You really have very nice kids.
1145
01:21:35,792 --> 01:21:38,159
A pity you won't meet their mother.
1146
01:21:38,417 --> 01:21:41,455
-Why? Is your wife...
-Did she die?
1147
01:21:41,625 --> 01:21:44,208
What? No. She's at work.
1148
01:21:45,083 --> 01:21:47,290
She's great,
but don't get your hopes up.
1149
01:21:47,458 --> 01:21:49,825
She's not into ugly guys like you.
1150
01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:04,241
We wanted to apologize to you
1151
01:22:05,333 --> 01:22:06,744
for letting you down.
1152
01:22:07,375 --> 01:22:08,865
Yes. It's...
1153
01:22:09,583 --> 01:22:11,665
been torturing us for a long time.
1154
01:22:13,083 --> 01:22:14,949
Hey, I'm not doing too badly.
1155
01:22:15,958 --> 01:22:17,574
I have a nice life.
1156
01:22:18,792 --> 01:22:21,284
I went to a great foster family
back then.
1157
01:22:21,458 --> 01:22:23,290
It was all much better afterwards.
1158
01:22:24,000 --> 01:22:25,661
I met my wife.
1159
01:22:25,917 --> 01:22:28,500
We had our first child
almost immediately.
1160
01:22:29,083 --> 01:22:31,450
It was the best decision of my life.
1161
01:22:32,583 --> 01:22:35,371
I'm sorry.
I meant to get in touch with you too.
1162
01:22:35,542 --> 01:22:38,830
I heard that you ended up in juvey
for a few months back then.
1163
01:22:39,458 --> 01:22:41,699
You wanted to get in touch with us?
Really?
1164
01:22:41,875 --> 01:22:43,365
Yes, of course.
1165
01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:47,744
I often think of you.
And there's no getting past you, anyway.
1166
01:22:47,917 --> 01:22:51,239
For some stupid reason,
my kids are into you.
1167
01:22:56,292 --> 01:22:58,875
Dude, that's a load off my mind.
1168
01:22:59,042 --> 01:23:00,953
We're such idiots.
1169
01:23:01,125 --> 01:23:04,197
This is totally rad.
You were doing well the whole time.
1170
01:23:05,542 --> 01:23:07,408
Everything was good.
1171
01:23:12,458 --> 01:23:14,995
You wouldn't believe
how happy I am to hear that,
1172
01:23:16,167 --> 01:23:18,374
how glad I am
you have such a beautiful family.
1173
01:23:18,542 --> 01:23:20,658
That really makes me happy.
1174
01:23:22,750 --> 01:23:24,616
I think it's great that you came.
1175
01:23:26,375 --> 01:23:27,865
I really do.
1176
01:23:35,708 --> 01:23:39,497
-Can I step out for a minute?
-Sure. At the end of the corridor.
1177
01:23:56,875 --> 01:24:00,038
I fixed up my old wig.
Melli Maultäschle.
1178
01:24:00,208 --> 01:24:01,289
Bambi.
1179
01:24:01,958 --> 01:24:05,076
Actually, I'm Hansjörg,
and this is Saskia.
1180
01:24:05,833 --> 01:24:07,619
Thank you.
1181
01:24:07,792 --> 01:24:08,998
Thank you. Thanks.
1182
01:24:09,250 --> 01:24:11,912
Yes, that's it from me.
1183
01:24:12,083 --> 01:24:14,370
And now one last time, please...
1184
01:24:14,542 --> 01:24:17,580
Give it up for Zelda de Winter.
1185
01:24:22,208 --> 01:24:23,915
Good evening, my dears.
1186
01:24:28,917 --> 01:24:30,032
Bravo!
1187
01:24:33,667 --> 01:24:35,999
We've been packing boxes until now.
1188
01:24:37,750 --> 01:24:40,993
I had no idea
penis hats could be so bulky.
1189
01:24:47,333 --> 01:24:49,825
Here you are. Oh.
1190
01:24:54,875 --> 01:24:56,866
-Cool room.
-Thanks.
1191
01:24:57,042 --> 01:24:59,374
-He stopped crying.
-Good.
1192
01:24:59,542 --> 01:25:01,203
Get a grip, dude.
1193
01:25:01,375 --> 01:25:04,743
He's such an embarrassment,
always been so sentimental.
1194
01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:07,832
Will you come over more often now?
1195
01:25:08,500 --> 01:25:10,286
I think so.
1196
01:25:10,917 --> 01:25:13,875
Do you at least know
some good stories about love?
1197
01:25:16,167 --> 01:25:17,828
I can try, but...
1198
01:25:18,833 --> 01:25:21,165
I'm afraid I'm a total beginner.
1199
01:25:23,833 --> 01:25:26,370
I used to be a cool, independent woman.
1200
01:25:27,667 --> 01:25:31,410
But lately I've become
the most pathetic life form.
1201
01:25:31,583 --> 01:25:35,201
Lately I've become a woman
who turned down a guy several times
1202
01:25:35,375 --> 01:25:38,822
and who asks herself every night
if that was a good idea.
1203
01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:41,241
Or if she's more afraid
of a relationship
1204
01:25:41,417 --> 01:25:43,909
than Berlusconi and Trump
are of good hair dye.
1205
01:25:44,167 --> 01:25:46,750
-Shall we pull her off the stage?
-My thinking is...
1206
01:25:47,000 --> 01:25:49,207
It's pathetic, but she's honest.
1207
01:25:49,458 --> 01:25:52,746
...either I wait the usual four years
like all psychopaths
1208
01:25:52,917 --> 01:25:55,454
before I have a clarifying chat at 3 am,
1209
01:25:55,625 --> 01:25:58,083
with two per mill
and hallucinations of love.
1210
01:25:58,333 --> 01:26:01,200
Or I'll just make it more direct.
More personal.
1211
01:26:01,458 --> 01:26:04,905
If I see the guy again,
I'll break his legs, and he can't leave.
1212
01:26:05,083 --> 01:26:06,869
Problem solved.
1213
01:26:07,500 --> 01:26:10,208
She is too depressed
even for the depressed.
1214
01:26:10,375 --> 01:26:11,865
Sometimes I miss the star.
1215
01:26:12,125 --> 01:26:15,698
I think those stupid films
with happy endings should be banned.
1216
01:26:16,917 --> 01:26:20,035
Instead,
they should show realistic films
1217
01:26:20,292 --> 01:26:22,829
with rent increases and stupid shit.
1218
01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:24,707
That might be better.
1219
01:26:44,542 --> 01:26:46,954
Well, I don't want to interfere, but...
1220
01:26:47,125 --> 01:26:51,995
if I promise not to take off,
would you refrain from breaking my legs?
1221
01:26:53,167 --> 01:26:54,657
It wasn't about you at all.
1222
01:26:54,833 --> 01:26:57,450
Did you think it was about you?
It wasn't.
1223
01:26:57,625 --> 01:26:59,957
-Okay.
- It really wasn't about you.
1224
01:27:01,458 --> 01:27:04,041
I just wanted to reapply.
1225
01:27:04,292 --> 01:27:06,533
I think I deserve a fair chance.
1226
01:27:06,708 --> 01:27:08,540
So, theater fever has gripped you?
1227
01:27:08,792 --> 01:27:11,625
I would overwhelm you
as a dancing tampon.
1228
01:27:15,125 --> 01:27:18,083
What's so kitsch about happy endings,
by the way?
1229
01:27:19,458 --> 01:27:21,916
They are just totally unrealistic.
1230
01:27:22,083 --> 01:27:25,326
It doesn't happen every day
that a superstar falls into your vulva
1231
01:27:25,500 --> 01:27:28,162
and becomes obsessed with you,
it doesn't happen.
1232
01:27:28,333 --> 01:27:31,041
I happen to know someone
who that happened to.
1233
01:27:31,792 --> 01:27:33,157
-Holy shit.
-Yes.
1234
01:27:33,333 --> 01:27:34,994
And how do you get rid of him?
1235
01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:39,331
You don't.
1236
01:28:28,083 --> 01:28:30,575
NEW THEATER 3000
1237
01:28:49,083 --> 01:28:50,289
Thanks.
1238
01:28:59,167 --> 01:29:00,874
Thank you.
1239
01:29:01,042 --> 01:29:03,079
Thank you. Very nice.
1240
01:29:06,458 --> 01:29:09,166
Yes, you might wonder
what I'm doing here.
1241
01:29:09,333 --> 01:29:13,748
Normally, waning stars
prefer to try their luck in the jungle.
1242
01:29:15,292 --> 01:29:17,659
But I prefer
eating chicken with broccoli
1243
01:29:17,833 --> 01:29:20,074
to steamed crocodile testicles on ice.
1244
01:29:21,542 --> 01:29:24,250
I haven't tried them,
I'm following my intuition.
1245
01:29:26,500 --> 01:29:29,367
Yes, you're laughing,
but it's not so easy
1246
01:29:29,542 --> 01:29:32,455
to find meaning once
you've been spat out of the film bubble
1247
01:29:32,625 --> 01:29:35,367
and suddenly land back in reality.
1248
01:29:36,542 --> 01:29:39,500
Then my friend and tax adviser
told me to put my last money
1249
01:29:39,750 --> 01:29:42,583
into a ruined theater.
1250
01:29:46,958 --> 01:29:49,746
That's no good.
It's a totally crappy idea.
1251
01:29:50,625 --> 01:29:54,414
Well, normally,
but it's not a normal theater, but...
1252
01:29:54,958 --> 01:29:56,574
a feminist theater.
1253
01:30:04,125 --> 01:30:07,868
Yes, and what are strong,
independent women into most of all?
1254
01:30:08,042 --> 01:30:10,955
Sure, into celeb cis men
who wave their money around.
1255
01:30:14,167 --> 01:30:18,035
So, there were a variety of strategies
to put the thing into practice.
1256
01:30:18,208 --> 01:30:20,324
A really good suggestion was
1257
01:30:20,500 --> 01:30:24,243
for me to hand over the money
in order to pay the debt of patriarchy,
1258
01:30:24,417 --> 01:30:26,909
and to offer to work for free,
1259
01:30:27,083 --> 01:30:30,826
as a symbol for the worldwide
exploitation of female workers.
1260
01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:32,206
Wow.
1261
01:30:35,333 --> 01:30:38,325
Sounds a bit bulky,
you notice that yourselves, right?
1262
01:30:39,333 --> 01:30:43,622
So we agreed
on "unpaid sex slave" and moreover...
1263
01:30:44,250 --> 01:30:48,369
moreover, we founded a foundation
to support theaters.
1264
01:30:50,500 --> 01:30:53,288
So no one paid anyone.
The result was the same.
1265
01:30:53,542 --> 01:30:56,079
It's the best investment of my life.
1266
01:30:56,250 --> 01:30:57,832
Yes.
1267
01:31:02,458 --> 01:31:05,075
All right,
I had to make a few concessions.
1268
01:31:05,250 --> 01:31:08,288
On the way to work,
it's not fans following me now
1269
01:31:08,542 --> 01:31:10,783
but the railway's ticket inspectors.
1270
01:31:11,667 --> 01:31:13,749
Not even my best friend's daughters
want a selfie.
1271
01:31:14,000 --> 01:31:17,914
They thought I was cooler before,
because now I'm a real person.
1272
01:31:18,167 --> 01:31:19,703
It's a fact.
1273
01:31:21,083 --> 01:31:23,791
Sounds like an insult, "real person”.
1274
01:31:25,458 --> 01:31:26,994
But somehow, it's true.
1275
01:31:28,208 --> 01:31:29,994
Before that, I was an empty shell.
1276
01:31:31,167 --> 01:31:33,750
In a pre-life crisis, so to speak.
1277
01:31:35,083 --> 01:31:38,246
The life phase with a full bank account
and an empty heart. You know it.
1278
01:31:38,500 --> 01:31:39,706
Right, full bank account.
1279
01:31:39,958 --> 01:31:41,744
Not familiar to anyone?
1280
01:31:41,917 --> 01:31:43,783
Yes, I noticed that too.
1281
01:31:44,042 --> 01:31:47,785
No one gets less sympathy
than the guy who cries in a Porsche.
1282
01:31:49,042 --> 01:31:50,032
Yes.
1283
01:31:51,083 --> 01:31:54,496
And it really isn't so easy.
1284
01:31:54,667 --> 01:31:58,535
All the red carpets, the fans,
the clothes thrown at you...
1285
01:31:58,792 --> 01:32:01,454
The wishes being read from my eyes...
1286
01:32:01,708 --> 01:32:03,915
I mean... yes.
1287
01:32:04,542 --> 01:32:06,078
Okay, you're right.
1288
01:32:06,250 --> 01:32:09,413
I miss one thing:
news about me in the yellow press.
1289
01:32:10,417 --> 01:32:13,739
For example,
my secret wedding happened 25 times.
1290
01:32:13,917 --> 01:32:15,499
25 times.
1291
01:32:17,375 --> 01:32:19,742
Fun fact: a wedding isn't a secret
1292
01:32:19,917 --> 01:32:22,329
just because I didn't invite
the yellow press.
1293
01:32:22,500 --> 01:32:26,243
I'm not secretly going to the toilet
just because I haven't tweeted about it.
1294
01:32:27,667 --> 01:32:30,500
One of the weddings took place
with my best friend Hakan.
1295
01:32:30,750 --> 01:32:33,208
And the other one
with my best friend Sammy.
1296
01:32:33,875 --> 01:32:35,115
Me!
1297
01:32:37,458 --> 01:32:40,871
In real life, those two
would immediately file for divorce.
1298
01:32:45,292 --> 01:32:48,205
Go on, gangster, come on. Hey, hey.
1299
01:32:48,375 --> 01:32:50,332
Hello, Mr. Bosch.
1300
01:32:50,500 --> 01:32:53,413
-What are you doing here?
- I liked it a lot.
1301
01:32:54,375 --> 01:32:57,447
-Congrats on the theater.
-Thank you.
1302
01:32:58,000 --> 01:33:01,538
-I'm doing well now.
-I wanted to ask you something.
1303
01:33:01,708 --> 01:33:05,201
Admittedly, the whole circus
has become very boring without you.
1304
01:33:05,458 --> 01:33:09,281
May I write something about you
and the theater? Something nice.
1305
01:33:09,542 --> 01:33:12,455
Thanks, but don't.
I'm very happy just the way it is.
1306
01:33:15,458 --> 01:33:17,040
At some point, you all come back.
1307
01:33:17,792 --> 01:33:20,250
Here you are. I've been looking for you.
1308
01:33:21,458 --> 01:33:23,074
-Hello.
-Hello.
1309
01:33:24,042 --> 01:33:26,079
Come on, let's go home, yeah?
1310
01:33:26,917 --> 01:33:28,499
-Bye.
-Bye.
1311
01:33:47,250 --> 01:33:48,240
Oh well.
1312
01:39:17,292 --> 01:39:20,705
No Limits Media 2021
Subtitles: S. Geiges, A. Rajabali et al.