- [sighs]
Hello. - Hi.
- Okay.
[breathing heavily]
Great to see you again. - Yeah.
- Okay, so there's nothing to worry about.
I think we make an offer to Rodney
and then see how he responds.
And from there, we can--
ah, shoot.
Do either of you have a pen?
- We prefer our lawyer to have his own pen, but here.
- Thank you.
[sighs]
[groans] Oh, yeah.
Oh!
[moaning]
[laughs] It's orgasmic.
- What happened to your wrist?
- Well, I saw a beautiful woman on the elevator,
and I tried to force my way in.
- Jillian, who did you hire?
- Dean Trovia. You've seen his billboards.
Blackmail is his specialty. - Yeah.
It's one of the three pillars of my practice.
Dads' law, blackmail, getting cops out of whoopsies.
- Well, Rodney is taking our farm,
but we'd still like to try to keep
a minority ownership stake.
- Also, it's named Henry's Farm, after my dad.
I'd love it if that could stay.
- Wait, that--that's all?
Guys, that's--that's nothing.
You have all the leverage here.
You should fucking destroy this guy.
- You do know we're the ones being blackmailed, right,
not the ones doing the blackmail?
- Oh, shit.
Being blackmailed?
Being blackmailed is the worst!
- So then this isn't your specialty?
- No. No, it's not.
My thing is that I have
this really handsome male friend.
And I usually just film him having sex with married women.
I pay him in drugs.
Uh... [breathing heavily]
It's okay. It's fine.
It's fine.
I'm a good lawyer, and... [elevator dings]
I know what to do.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go to the bathroom.
I'll be back in one second.
- Why are you taking your briefcase?
- Hold the door. Hold the door. - No, no. Hey, get back here!
- Hold the door!
[screams]
Fuck!
[bombastic music]
- So we were hoping we could stay on
as minority stakeholders.
- Since we did spend a year
building the farm from the ground up.
- All right. I'll tell you what I can do.
Checkbook! All right.
I'll pay you out, all right?
You get a finder's fee.
In exchange for providing me with the saw palmetto farm,
you receive...
- A million bucks?
- No, a--a million dicks.
That says a million dicks.
- It says bucks, right? - It looks like bucks to me.
- It says a million dicks.
It's a joke.
I'm not giving you anything.
- Ask about the name.
- The name? - Yeah.
I was hoping we could keep it named after my father, Henry.
It's just a tribute. It won't cost you anything.
- Hmm.
- So that's a no. - Yeah, it's a no.
It's now called Noah's Plantation,
in honor of my dead stepson.
- The one you killed?
- I'm more troubled by the plantation part.
- Why?
- I mean, Rodney--
- Well, I guess that's it.
Keys to the office and the truck.
- I assume you'll be keeping Gabriel and Angel
through harvest season.
This is Gabriel's sunscreen.
He always forgets to put it on.
Oh. Okay.
Well, this is Angel's EpiPen.
- Ooh, shot of adrenaline before a big negotiation?
I'm gonna hang on to this shit.
- So, Craigory, Rodney needs somebody
to manage this place, so I convinced him
to pay you two to stay on.
- How much? - Jillian!
- How much you making before?
- $35,000 a year before taxes.
- [laughs] - Jesus.
That's grim. I'm sorry.
I pay twice that to Prada's sober companion,
and all she has to do is go to dinners.
- We'll keep you at 35.
How's that sound?
[tense music]
* *
- Okay, just gonna break this eye contact for a moment here.
I mean, at least he's not cutting our pay.
We can still pay rent, buy food.
- Keep our Kias.
- Yes, Craig, I'd like to keep my Kia.
- Well, I can't do it.
Fuck Rodney.
Double fuck Isaiah, treacherous leech.
- I mean, Isaiah convinced Rodney to keep us on.
That was nice of him, right?
- Right.
Isaiah's never nice.
If he wants us to stay,
it must mean they really need us.
Watch this.
Okay, here's our counteroffer.
We'll stay, but...
we want $80,000 a year.
- Wow.
We're negotiating, huh?
Okay.
[screams] Whoo! - The fuck?
- My offer is this.
Farming isn't hard.
I can replace you with a suck bot.
You're fired.
What about you, weirdo? What do you say?
35K, going once. Going twice...
- It's okay if you're gonna do it, Jillian.
- 34K. 33K.
- I'm in. I'll stay it 33.
- All right, good.
You got any problems, call Isaiah.
This is the last time I set foot on a fucking farm.
Look at my shoes. They're ruined.
Russell Crowe got me these shoes as a gift.
- I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said yes. I panicked.
I can still quit. We're partners.
I can't abandon you.
- It's okay, Jillian.
I've been unemployed before.
I'll be fine.
Hi.
I applied for the security guard position,
and I wanted to follow up.
Yes, Foster, right.
[somber music]
Okay, well, should I call back in a couple of weeks, or--
Okay.
Well, thank you.
- It's because you're too cute.
Who'd be afraid of that face?
- Thanks, Dolores.
But the problem isn't how cute I am.
It's that nobody's hiring.
Dolores, damn!
We talked about this.
The kitchen is a common area.
You have to wear underwear in the common areas.
- The bathroom is a common area,
and I'm naked there.
[phone buzzing] Your rule makes no sense.
- [laughs]
Hey, baby, what's shaking? - Hey, Daddy.
Do you think you could take me to Nina's later?
- What? I thought we were gonna hang out.
I mean, when is your mom's weird white baby due?
How much longer are you even in town?
- Like, two more weeks.
- You moved across the country, Ness.
I never get to see you.
- Well, I never get to see my friends either.
Anyways, it's Mom's fault for moving me to Oakland.
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
Don't try to make me mad at Mom for your choices.
But you make a good point.
It was fucked up what she did.
I'll see you in a bit.
I'll take you to Nina's.
- Thanks.
* *
Dolores! - [groans]
- Why you gotta put stuff up high all the time?
[knock at door]
- It's open. Give me a sec.
[steady music]
* *
- Dang.
You guys got a suite?
Ain't your Mom's job at a nonprofit,
'cause this looks like profit.
- The couple is paying for it.
- How come I've never heard this couple's name?
How come they're always "the couple"?
- 'Cause Mom signed an NDA, so you can't know who they are.
But any time we have to go somewhere,
they send a driver for us.
- Camille.
- [vocalizing]
- Wait, aren't you going to the baby shower?
The couple is throwing her a party.
- Oh.
- I can do it. Let me do it.
I'll drop Nessa off, then I'll come take you.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm so busy.
But come on.
You need me.
Admit it.
- Camille, I run my own business.
I'm the consummate professional.
[upbeat music playing]
[chatter and laughter]
* *
Holy crap, what the fuck's their budget on this shit?
You know my fear of white people in coordinated outfits.
This some cult shit.
- [screams] Cammy, you're here!
I'm so glad you're here.
- She said, "Thank you for having me."
- * I want to touch my baby *
Ope, nope. You just dove right in there.
- Hello, my baby.
I don't feel him kicking.
Why isn't he kicking?
Are you playing the tapes of my voice?
He should be kicking.
- Hey, I'm Tate.
This is Blythe. - Hey. Craig.
- Thanks so much for translating.
I'll get you my assistant's email for the invoice.
- Oh, I don't need to be paid.
Camille and I are friends.
We were actually married.
- Oh, hell yeah.
We gotta get you a spring roll. Leila!
What's up, girl?
- [gasps] He's kicking.
My baby's kicking.
Zeta? Zeta, come feel my baby. - Ah! Oh, my God!
- Uh-uh, let's get Camille's permission first.
- Excuse me.
- No, sir, no.
Do not put your hands on my friend.
- I was just saying-- - No, she's a woman.
Okay? You're a man.
- Ow. - But she was just coming in.
And I was just-- - No, strange man. Enough.
Please, touch my baby.
- Aww! - I'm so sorry.
I didn't expect you to get assaulted
at my frickin' party.
- Okay, okay. Stop pushing.
- I'm the only one looking out for you.
Obviously, these people aren't.
Who has a all-sushi baby shower?
Want me to run out to Five Guys?
I bet I still remember your pregnancy order.
Triple with cheese, bacon, ketchup, mustard, mayo,
relish, pickles, jalapeños,
grilled mushrooms, grilled onions, A1.
- You think I'm gonna go to Five Guys and not get fries?
Damn, Camille.
This is why we are no longer together.
- No, no, no. No.
She's not having any burgers.
Dr. Kay said we need to keep our sodium low.
- Yeah, Dr. Kay.
Dr. Kay is our neonatal dietary consultant,
which is, you know, a made-up job.
- Well, Camille ate burgers last time she was pregnant,
and our daughter's just fine.
- But we're not going for just fine, now,
are we? - Okay.
- You can't say that to a person.
- Honey, you're doing the controlling thing.
- I'm being chill. - Again.
- [scoffs] - Here's how I see it.
Camille, it's your day too, so go nuts.
- Her day too? - Yeah.
- Her day too?
Are you gonna--
- Right. Uh, one more thing.
I know Zeta's hitting the pinot pretty hard today,
but did I hear something about you grabbing her or--
- Assaulting her? - I didn't grab anyone.
They were touching Camille without permission.
- Gaslighting, just saying.
- But I know it was very inappropriate of me.
I'm so sorry.
And I'll apologize to-- Zeh-ta, was it?
- Yeah. Zeh-ta's fine.
That's--thank you. That's very generous.
We figured it was a big misunderstanding.
So hey, how about we get the hotel chef
to make you that burger right now?
- "That's nice of you, thanks."
- Great. That's all we got.
Yeah. We're gonna move this way.
- It's Zeta. It's Zeta. - Lot of people to talk to.
- Everyone should know it's Zeta.
- Either pronunciation is fine.
- She's Greek, and it's offensive.
- Moving this way. - Bye, friends.
- Don't look back again. - Okay.
- I mean, I'd have been just fine if I never met them.
- Is that crowdfunding for medical stuff?
- I'm gonna be honest.
Tate's not really registering much.
I'm more reacting to Blythe.
- [sighs] Fine.
If you like 'em, I like 'em.
I can be good.
Just watch.
- Oh.
Have you considered a C-section?
Like a--like--
I just--I know Blythe would love to see the baby
looking like his best self, you know?
Can you translate, please?
- Hey, Ted. Hey, Ted.
- Oh. Ted, he's calling you.
- I'm Craig. - Who?
- Ted, can you-- can you get Camille?
We're doing pictures.
- Photos.
Photos.
[phone buzzes] - Yeah, hey.
What's up?
Right now? Fuck!
Hey, just slide in there.
If she's an asshole, flag me down.
- Camille, where do I put my hands on the belly?
Is it, like, more like this,
or is it, like, under like this?
- Well, you have to have the hands underneath,
or I can see the plastic seams.
- Yeah, but then my arms look weird
and I kind of look chunky, and that's gross.
What if we Photoshop her belly onto my body?
Camille, can I just show him--
- What--hey! What are you doing?
- Uh, excuse you.
- She has a dress on.
You're gonna show all these strangers her underwear?
- [laughing]
Okay, this is a $45,000 baby shower.
There's, like, so much shit to see.
There's a fucking IV tent.
No one's looking at Camille.
- You can't just take her clothes off.
She's not a prop. - I know she's not a prop.
My baby's heartbeat is with her heartbeat.
So henceforth, my heartbeat is her heartbeat, okay?
Have you even seen the place that I put her up in?
It is so fancy.
I care about her.
- Spending money on someone isn't the same
as caring about them.
- Oh, yeah. Actually, it is.
So now, everything's so clear.
I understand why you guys got divorced.
Good for you, Camille. That was so brave.
- Fuck you, Blythe.
- Fuck you, Ted!
- Come. Come, come, come, come, please.
Can I get everyone's attention, please?
Today, we are going to reveal this baby's name!
- I can't believe how you're letting these rich pricks
control you like this.
- Oh, my God, this is so brilliant.
And I've been waiting for this.
[screams] That's a V!
- A "V"!
- What could possibly go with a V?
- What? [cheers and applause]
A! It's an A! What is this?
- You guys are gonna die when you hear this name.
You've never even heard it before as a name.
Like, it's not used as a name.
- What are you talking about right now?
- I'm a rascal. - Okay, we got a V.
We got an A. What's next? Oh!
It's a P! - It's an androgynous name,
which everybody's doing right now.
- It's a P! What are you thinking?
- I think you'll never guess what it is.
- Vapid? - No.
- Vapod? Oh, my gosh, is it Vapod?
- What could it be?
- I'm going. I'm going in.
Oh!
An O!
- My psychic said it was so important
to have an O in the name.
Okay.
Okay, wait. Drumroll. Hold on.
- Are you guys dying? Everyone's dying.
Let's do this.
- Just shut up and wait. [laughs]
- Ready? On your mark. Get set...
- I just want to be needed!
[balloon pops]
- Vapor.
The baby's name is Vapor.
[scattered applause] Yay!
It's Vapor.
I love Vapor so much.
- I took a whole day off from the farm for Camille,
and she still thinks I want her to be unhappy.
It's crazy.
- But you don't work at the farm anymore.
- She doesn't know that!
I didn't tell her yet because it would make her
so happy to know I got fired.
- So you don't want her to be unhappy,
but you also don't want her to be too happy?
- If we're gonna be phone friends, Jillian,
you need to back me up more.
- You're right. I'm sorry.
Camille's a dick. She's being a fucking asshole.
- [sighs] No, don't say that.
I'm sorry for dumping all this on you.
I know you have a lot going on with the farm.
- Things are actually fine.
We're just getting the next shipment ready to go out.
- But working for Isaiah must be miserable.
- I mean, he hasn't been around much.
It's pretty much business as usual.
- Except I'm not there?
- Right, yes.
That part's awful.
We need you here.
Angel can't stop sobbing.
- Jillian-- - I haven't been able to eat.
Gabriel is suicidal.
- You can go back to work.
- No! Gabriel, don't do it!
- I'm hanging up now, Jillian.
[tense music]
* *
- So we need to make sure we film
the opening of the gifts. - Okay, sure.
Hey, Cam, we're just making sure you're all right.
We saw Ted storm out.
- Yeah. Not a big deal, you know?
No harm, no foul.
- Oh, yeah, no big deal,
except for they ruined the name reveal,
and, like, nobody clapped for Vapor.
We would have got, like, the same response to Howard.
Didn't even matter.
- Well, I think Howard's a fine name.
And, Camille, you must be exhausted,
so we're gonna get you back to your hotel, okay?
Up, up. - Wait, you mean,
like, Joe's gonna drive her.
- No, we should do it. - What?
- You two can spend some more time together
and you and Vapor can spend some more time together.
- But I don't wanna leave my own party.
That's the main reason I wanted to have a baby.
- You need more time with Vapor, babe.
- Could you not yell at me when I'm on Molly?
- Okay, guess I can never yell at you, then.
Come on, come on. - Shit. They're on the move.
I need all units here now.
[phone buzzing] - Stop texting me, carWOW.
Damn.
- Right through here, honey.
- All of us together? - All right, this van here.
Yeah. Let's hustle.
Come on. Come on. - Should I change?
- Come on. No, you look great.
- The fuck? - Please move a little faster.
- Excuse me. - You can change later.
- Excuse me. What's going on?
- Ted, hi. We're taking Camille home.
But, uh, great work today.
I'm gonna have my assistant rate you five stars.
Now, let's get in. Time to go.
We're happy to help. - Are we?
- That's really nice of you, Tate, but--
- Yeah, it's not a problem. We got her.
- You don't need to leave your own party.
- Yeah. Can he just have her?
Can you go with him? - No, we are taking her.
- My truck is right over--
- Ted, can you just shut the fuck up?
[chuckles] I'm kidding.
Can you imagine if I was that guy?
[chuckles] All right, we gotta go. Hop in.
All right, in you go. In, in, in.
Joe, start the car!
Get in! Get seated! Let's move! Thank you.
- Don't yell at me! - Joe, start the car.
- I'ma just hop right in here with y'all.
- Whoa, sir, sir, you can't just get in here.
Joe, pull over. We have a stowaway.
- No, there's no time. Joe, drive.
- We don't need a translator.
Camille's been using her phone to communicate just fine.
- But we're not going for just fine, now, are we?
- Are you gonna let him talk to me like that?
- Like what? - He said, "We're not going
for just fine, now, are we?" - Yeah?
- He's using my words against me, but mean.
- I don't know. I can't fight him right now.
- Are you kidding me? Say something--
- That's as much as I can do right now!
I'm texting!
- So you guys always ride around in a giant van?
- This is not a van. We don't paint houses.
This is a Sprinter.
And I brought it to hold all my presents,
but we left before I could--
- Have your assistant bring the presents home!
- I fired my assistant, babe.
- Joe, left here. Turn left.
- Um, isn't the hotel in the other direction?
- Yes. Mm-hmm.
I just gotta stop by our house real quick
for a--for a business thing.
But good looking out, Ted. Thank you.
Just a second, okay? Hank, where are we?
- All packed and ready. Plane is waiting.
When you're wheels up, in the air, I will be in touch.
- You're coming in the van with us.
- Right, of course.
Let me just text my wife to have a good surgery.
- Uh, we don't have time for that.
Let's focus. - Hey, babe?
Why are all the bags out here?
- Oh, uh--
- Wait, are you taking me on a surprise trip?
Are we going on a baby-moon?
Oh, my God!
I was like, "Why are we leaving the party so early?
It couldn't be 'cause you care that much about the surrogate,"
and you don't.
It's about me.
- Oh, yeah. - [squeals]
- Doing some shredding there, Tate?
- It's not a big deal, Ted.
We're just making room for the baby.
We're just leaving shreds on the curb?
- Shredding andburning! Come on, guys!
There's a fire pit in the back!
- What the actual fuck is going on?
- Uh, let's talk about it in the van.
All right? Hop on. - Okay.
I'm--yeah, why are there bags of trash?
- Hop aboard.
Luggage, Hank.
[suspenseful music]
* *
Yeah, we got time.
Okay. [clears throat]
So we may be in a bit of financial trouble, and--
- What?
- The SEC might be looking for me.
- No. - And you.
And it's possible they were gonna raid the baby shower
before I was theoretically tipped off.
- What kind of financial trouble?
- It's just a tax goof, something about
HelpMePayMyBills.com's filing status.
- I'm sorry, does the SEC usually raid
people's baby showers over goofs?
- They're also accusing the company
of defrauding its users.
- We may have stolen hundreds of millions
of dollars in donations.
- We? "We" we? We, you and me?
- Your name is on all the documents.
You wanted to be co-CEO, remember?
- Yeah, but that's just a fake thing!
That was just so I could go
to Reese Witherspoon's Girlboss Brunch.
- Well, too late!
- Am I going to jail? - No!
Those are our go-bags,
and Hank has a jet waiting to take us to Vietnam.
- And you're dropping us off on the way, or--
- Vietnam is the least chic place I've ever heard of.
You might as well take us to fucking Somalia.
- We have to go somewhere without an extradition treaty.
- "If you're fleeing, what's the plan for the baby?"
- That's why we stuffed you in--
brought you in the van, to see if you wanted
to come to Vietnam with us, just until Vapor's born.
- She says, "Hell no."
- Okay, okay. Okay, what about Morocco?
Morocco. I'm looking at--
here's a list of countries without extradition treaties.
The Maldives, like in "The Bachelor."
They have those little houses over the water.
- She's not going to Morocco either.
- No, we're going to the Maldives now.
New plan. - This isn't a vacation, babe.
But the Maldives does sound way better.
How the fuck did you land on Vietnam, Hank?
- I had 45 minutes to throw this together.
I had to give the pilot my father's watch.
- She says she has a life here.
And yeah, is it illegal to share a jet with fugitives?
Could she even come back? - Yeah, of course.
Yeah, not a problem. - That's unclear.
- What the fuck, Hank?
Look, we had a contract, okay?
You got paid, and in return,
you agreed to deliver us a baby.
- She said you still owe her 40 grand.
- Because she hasn't given us our baby yet.
That is our property, all right?
If you don't get on the plane with us, it's stealing.
- That's not technically how it works.
- God damn it, Hank, one more word--
one more word, and you don't get to come to Vietnam.
- The Maldives. - I can't go to Vietnam.
I have a family.
- We need someone who speaks the language.
- I don't speak Vietnamese.
- There's Duolingo, and it's a 13-hour fucking flight.
You're going.
Okay. We can pay.
What do we owe you, 40K?
Would you come with us if we made it an even 100?
Hmm? - No.
- 200. - She said she isn't going.
- $300,000.
- We said no!
This isn't "Deal or No Deal."
- What--where are we?
- Just one last stop. I'll be right back.
Keep negotiating, babe.
Everyone has a price.
- Actually, my legs are getting stiff.
Camille and I might, uh, go for a little walk.
Take a stretch, you know? - Yeah.
Maybe we should all stick together.
Joe, help our new friends.
- Where are we?
[dog barking]
Babe, this is a dangerous neighborhood.
- This neighborhood is totally fine.
Normal people live here. - What normal people
do you know with houses this small?
- The person that lives here.
- Joe, you're standing kind of close, man.
- Hey, baby. - Hey.
- What's going on? Who are all these people?
- Uh, yeah, Tiff, I need you to grab that bag I left here.
You know, the leather satchel? - Yeah.
- Mm-hmm. - Okay.
Of course, baby. - Do it. Quickly.
- Who the fuck is Tiff? - Grow up, Blythe.
We all know what this is, right, everyone?
- No!
- Yeah. - No!
I have sacrificed so much shit for you.
I keep my body tight for you.
Three-a-days, macro tracking, Ensure IVs.
I got a fucking surrogate.
- Wait, I thought the doctor said
you "couldn't have a child"?
- He did. He is my plastic surgeon.
And he was like, "Girl, you can't have a child,
not with that body."
So whatever. Same thing!
- Here you go, baby. - You're moving so slow.
- If you call him baby one more fucking time--
- Look, Camille! Here's all the cash, see?
300K. - She doesn't want your money.
- What? [laughs]
- Good god, Tate.
Are you kidding?
Did you give my fucking diamonds to your whore?
- Wow.
Girls from your generation are broken, babe.
- We are the same age.
- No. - And that is so fucked up.
- Okay, take the diamonds. They're yours.
But if the Feds come, I need you to swallow 'em.
- You want me to eat these fucking diamonds?
You eat them. - How dare you?
I have my throat thing. - How dare you?
You know I don't swallow. Never.
- Not a problem for me.
- Are you gonna--oh, no!
- No, no, no, don't lose that. Shit!
- You fucking skank! - God damn it, Joe,
The diamond! - [screaming]
- You dropped some. Come on, Hank!
Too good to pick up diamonds? Whoa, whoa. Hey!
Come back here with my property!
- There's only one left! - Hey, hey, come on, come on.
[grunting]
Come on.
300,000 wasn't my final price.
We can still negotiate.
- See? There's the problem!
You think being rich means never having any consequences.
Defrauding thousands of people? Doesn't matter.
You just flee the country.
Cheating on your wife? Doesn't matter.
She'll be fighting to swallow your diamonds in no time.
But guess what.
There's still some things money can't buy,
and Camille is one of those things.
So I'ma go call the Feds, tell them where you are,
and when you get to prison, let 'em know
it was Ted who sent you.
[engine turns over]
- Great, Joe. Fuck!
- Whoo-hoo! I was right. I knew it!
Never trust white people in color-coordinating outfits.
[laughs]
What's up with you?
- You wanna flee the country with these crooks?
- Probably 20s in there for padding.
- That was a nightmare!
Plus, I needed that money.
You don't.
You have your job.
- What?
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Embarrassing? Why?
People lose their jobs all the time.
I mean, I--
[tense music]
I still have the farm.
Let me help you.
- What did you say to me? - Please stop talking.
- You stop talking and listen to me for once.
Like, I don't even know what the fuck my life is.
Like, what have you done to me?
- Done to you?
Everything you have is because of me!
When I met you, you had roommates.
- I was a freshman in college!
- Yeah, at a state school.
- But I was out of state.
I paid full price for that.
- Ugh.
What the fuck is this?
[van beeping]
* *
- What's up, Tate? - Hi, Ted.
- Hey, so you probably don't even remember,
but I kind of had a big speech earlier.
- About how I'm a rich asshole
and there's some things money can't buy.
- Mm, good. It made an impact on you.
Anyway, I stand by the broader social critique.
Lots of stuff for you to marinate on.
But in this specific case,
money will get you exactly what you want.
$300,000, Camille will go to Vietnam.
We will take cash,
or if young miss wants to cough up a few diamonds.
- Yeah, great. Either one.
Yeah? You can puke, right?
All right, pop out. Joe's driving.
- I'll keep the money safe until you get back.
Nessa and I will FaceTime with you every night, okay?
- [coughing]
- Why the fuck is she here?
Is she coming to the Maldives with us?
- You wouldn't swallow the fucking diamonds.
- My stomach feels so random.
[coughs]
Wait, what?
- Hey, Joe?
There's a garage up ahead on the left.
Turn there and head up to the roof.
Okay, so a helicopter is gonna meet us up there,
take us to Tallahassee where we'll have a jet.
Then we'll go to Canada to refuel,
and then on to Hanoi.
Wait, Joe, what are you doing?
You're going down.
We don't have time for--
[sirens wailing]
[indistinct radio chatter]
- What the fuck? How did they beat us here?
- Exit the vehicle with your hands up.
- So the thing is, after Ted left us stranded
without a van, I thought there was no way out.
So I called the SEC and turned state's evidence.
- You have ten seconds.
- I got reduced sentences for me and Blythe.
- [sighs] - Yeah.
But in exchange, I had to give up the real mastermind
behind HelpMePayMyBills.com
- Wait, who's the real mastermind?
- We had a rogue financial manager
cooking the books without our knowledge.
- Hank, you piece of shit.
- What? No.
I only ever did what you told me to do.
- Unbelievable.
- I tried to talk you out of it.
- Hank Ridgeway, you're under arrest.
- No. No, no, no, no.
He's the mastermind! He's the mastermind!
No!
Your father hired me!
I've known you since you were a kid!
Fuck! - Oh, this is ours.
This has nothing to do with them.
She's a surrogate.
No crimes. No crimes!
- Comes around goes around, Hank.
Geez.
So I'm sorry.
The government has frozen all our assets.
I was gonna have Tiffany shit out those diamonds,
but I guess they're cutting her up inside,
and she needs surgery.
- Hey, fam, so a twist.
I might lose my asshole.
- Karma.
That's what you get for letting a side ho
do a wife's job, just saying.
- So we don't have the 300K.
We don't even have 40K.
But we had a contract, and since we can't pay,
you get to keep the baby.
- She says...
You get it. - Mm.
- Babe, I'm gonna be in jail for just a little bit.
But then I'm gonna have my people call your people
as soon as baby Vapor is born.
You guys can get to know each other a little bit,
and then they'll come grab him.
And if you could just, like, breastfeed him
for a few weeks, that would be so nice.
But obviously, like, your body, your choice.
Just, like, do the right thing for the baby.
I'll have my assistant find you, okay?
You're a saint, Camille. Thank you so much.
- Nice. Take care.
- Didn't you fire your assistant?
- Well, first, we're going to Five Guys.
Get some extra sodium in you.
- It's okay, okay?
I'm here for you.
All right?
Emotionally, financially, whatever you need.
- I got you, Milly. I got you.
[soft music]
* *
- What the fuck do you want?
- [sighs] Thank you for meeting.
I made a mistake.
I'd like to work for you at the farm.
- Well, okay, then.
[yells]
[grunts]
[sighs]
Let's talk terms.
- * My tears are falling *
* 'Cause you've taken her away *
* And though it really hurts me so *
* There's something that I gotta say *
[Carole King's "Take Good Care of My Baby"]
* Take good care of my baby *
* Please don't ever make her blue *
* *
* Just tell her that you love her *
* Make sure you're thinking of her *
* In everything you say and do *
* *
* Take good care of my baby *
* Now, don't you ever make her cry *
* *
* Just let your love surround her *
* Paint a rainbow all around her *
* Don't let her see a cloudy sky *
* *
* Once upon a time, that little girl was mine *
* If I had been true *
* I know she'd never be with you *
* So take good care of my baby *
* Be just as kind as you can be *
- Not a doctor. Shh.