[glasses clink] - Happy anniversary, babe.
Mm. - Yeah, God damn.
15 red-hot years, you know?
And this is gonna be the best one yet.
- Better than the first?
Our honeymoon period? - Oh, come on. Fuck that.
I mean, yeah, maybe our bodies were better,
but we didn't know how to use them.
We were just like two seals
just slapping against each other.
- Dad, stop.
- Sorry, Corby. I forgot you were here, okay?
Forget the thing I said about the seals fucking.
My point is this, okay?
I know my body's a bit more bloated,
but so is our bank account.
I'm a manager now. We're buying a house.
Things are starting to come together.
- To things coming together. - Coming together.
[phone ringing]
Oh, sorry.
This is gonna take one second, okay?
It's Chuck.
He's just probably telling me
that we closed the Stabler deal.
What's up, Chuck? How you doing, bro?
- What the fuck, bro? [shouting indistinctly]
- Oh, okay. Yeah.
No, I--I can definitely hear you, Chuck.
Okay. Yeah. All right.
Well, why don't you-- why don't you just--
why don't you tell me what's going on?
Stop yelling, all right? There was a glitch.
- [shouting indistinctly]
- No, I'm not making excuses, okay?
I'm telling you I filled out the paperwork,
so that if it's not in the system, there was a glitch.
- You are fucking fired! - Fired?
You can't fire me! I've been there for six years!
You've been there for six months!
Do me a favor! Put Bill on the phone.
Oh, you're there? - You're fucking done.
- Well, then, fuck you, Bill!
You ungrateful fuck!
And your dinosaur of a company
is still gonna get swallowed up by Amazon!
Bill, I'm sorry I said that. Bill, I need this job.
Please, Bill!
Find it in your heart to forgive me!
Fuck! Fuck! [clattering in bathroom]
[clattering intensifies] Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
[softly] Hey.
How you doing? Yeah.
How you doing?
Yeah.
Great call. Let's do it.
Most expensive thing on the menu.
Veal scallopini.
[chuckling] Yeah.
[inhales deeply through teeth]
Let's get the veal scallopini, huh?
Let's fucking celebrate! Whoo! Yeah!
[upbeat music]
* *
[soft dramatic music]
I'm not egotistical,
but even I'll admit I'm a star.
They said, "Brock,
don't fly too close to the sun."
I said, "Why?
You afraid I'm gonna melt the motherfucker?"
[chuckles]
I'm manly.
I can kill python with my bare hands.
Less than 0.1% of the population would even try.
But I'm also sensitive.
I could bake a cake.
I cry when I think of my mom's passing,
and women eat that shit up.
I got four-quadrant appeal.
Kings, queens, teens, tweens, and men.
Oh, shit. I guess that's five quadrants.
And you just got the last one for free.
I already got my fan base.
I'm just looking for a partner to help me monetize it.
Turn my six-figure follower account
into a six-figure income.
- Why are you sleeping on the couch?
- Whoa. Sneak attack.
Kinda just strolling up behind people.
Ah, you know, I got a big meeting today,
so I was down here prepping.
Didn't wanna keep your mom up.
- But you've been out here for, like, a month.
- It's a really big meeting, you know?
- Dad, you know, Ian's parents went to marriage counseling,
and it really helped.
- Oh, really, Corby? Ian?
Ian has a wheelie backpack.
- Yes, because Ian has scoliosis.
- And they fucking let him get scoliosis,
so don't tell me what they did right, okay?
Hey, buddy. Your mom and I are fine.
Rocks.
- All right.
- Yeah, that's my guy. [slaps sheets]
That's my guy.
Everything's okay.
What kind of products could I promote?
I'm glad you asked.
Picture this: me in a pair of Wrangler jeans.
I'm free balling, my ass is looking great.
I'm out there in the middle of the swamp wrangling snakes.
- What are you doing?
- Every woman-- oh, it's a big day.
I got a meeting with the biggest PR firm in Miami.
They called me, by the way. - Wow.
What do you think's gonna come of it?
- Think? I don't think. I never fucking think.
I know that they're gonna put me with a corporate sponsor
and help me start bringing in some real cash.
- Well, what about the snake hunt?
- We're a big deal, Robin, okay?
There are a lot of people online
that are thriving with way less talent than me.
One guy makes 190K a year just letting spiders bite him.
- Wow.
Is he, like, really hot or something?
- Yeah.
Yeah, he's incredibly hot. He used to be an actor.
- [chuckles] - That's not the point.
The point is this is bigger than any fucking snake hunt.
You know what, Corby? Come on.
I'ma take you to school.
Hey, yo, check this out.
When I go into the meeting and they offer me water,
I'll fucking say, "No way."
You know, establish dominance right from the jump.
What you think about that?
Corby!
- What?
- You know, you might wanna
take a little bit more interest in my career, okay?
'Cause when I blow up,
we're gonna be hauling ass to school in a Super Duty.
You know the Flo Boys? They just got a McLaren 570GT.
- Dad, I don't care what kind of car you drive.
- Oh, yeah, right.
You telling me you don't want a Super Duty?
Yeah?
You a fucking liar. [chuckles]
Yeah. You want a Super Duty. Come on.
Yeah, you know, um...
Yeah.
You know, when I was a kid, I--I worshiped my dad.
You know, I would-- I'd sit in his roofing truck
and pretend to be him.
And, uh, and sometimes,
I would bring this little hammer to school.
You know, like a little freak.
When you were born I--I thought,
"Man, this kid's gonna look up to me so hard.
"The other kids are gonna bully him,
and that's gonna be rad."
You know, son, I know I haven't given you a ton to idolize,
but, um, God, it would sure mean a lot to me
if you could occasionally pretend like I matter.
- Did you say something?
- No, I mean, I'm--
yeah, I'm just practicing my pitch.
You know?
Imagine me in a pair of Wrangler jeans,
and I'm free balling.
and my ass looks great. - Okay.
- Yeah, I'm out in the swamp.
- Mr. Tiemeyer, she's ready to see you now.
- All right. Thank you very much.
Hey, I don't want a water!
[softly] Okay.
- Sandra Stevens.
I specialize in brand integration
and viral marketing.
- Brock. - Mm.
- I'm not egotistical, but even I gotta admit I'm a star.
They say, "Brock, don't fly too close to the sun."
- Yeah, we've watched your videos.
We are familiar with your work.
- Oh, okay. Skip the foreplay.
Just go right at it dry. I like that.
What are you thinking about in terms of sponsorship?
Imagine me a pair of Wrangler jeans--
- Actually, one of our clients is a major tobacco corporation.
- Okay, okay.
I have no moral issues working with a cigarette company.
I'm not some little, fucking weird-ass pussy.
- Good to know.
- What'd you think? How about this here, right?
I kill a snake, I light one up,
then I stick it out right on the python's eye
and I say something like, um, like, uh,
"You just got smoked, son."
- Actually, are you aware
of the rising popularity of vape pens and e-cigarettes?
They pose a serious threat
to the market aspirations of my client,
and we're looking for creative ways
to bring negative social attention on the sector.
- Negative social attention? - Social attention.
I'm glad you asked.
We'd like to provide you with a vape pen.
Use it once, go on about your day,
hang out with your son,
and then in eight to ten hours, you'll start feeling ill.
- The fuck? - It's nothing too serious.
Just little dizziness, little headache,
and then your liver will give out.
But don't worry. You won't die.
As long as you get to the hospital in time.
- In time? - Mm-hmm.
- How much time is in time?
- You know, I'm gonna have to circle back to you on that,
but I can assure you
we've got some really great poison guys on this.
I mean, Brock, the best.
- Wait--no, I-- what--I mean...
[stammering] Why would I do that?
- Because we'll pay you. $8,000 for the liver failure.
$100,000 if you die.
Which you won't,
as long as you get to the hospital in time.
- Don't you have some normal sponsors?
You know, something like-- like gloves,
or, fuck, I'll even do baby shit.
- We just don't feel like you have
a significant enough following for that.
- Yeah, but I got 150,000 subscribers.
- We need at least a million.
[phone dings]
Would you look at that? This is great news, Brock.
Poison guy says that you'll be totally fine.
Huh? Yeah.
[phone dings]
Oh, my God. He is such a flirt.
[phone dings] Oh, poison guy!
[growls]
- Now, when you're in the swamp...
Oh, what the fuck? 190 views?
You realize you're looking for any clues whatsoever.
Come on. [taps keyboard]
Well, 1.3 million view-- it was uploaded an hour ago.
Come on. [taps keyboard]
both: What is up, Flo Boy fam?
- We hope you're staying positive.
We wanna remind you that if you work hard,
pursue your dreams,
and have faith in the Lord, good things will happen.
- Now who wants to see Kyle the intern eat some mace?
- Ah, let's go! - [laughs]
both: * Oh, Kyle *
- Oh, yes. [chuckles]
both: Mace, mace, mace, mace, mace, mace.
- [sobbing] both: Mace, mace, mace, mace!
- Oh, shit! - [laughs]
- Oh, my.
Hey. Hey, Corby!
Corby, come in here. Come on.
Come on, on the hop. Look who it is.
- I don't know that person.
- What? Yeah, you do. Yeah, you--yeah.
I'll show you the video. Here.
- His name is Kevin Brailing, aka Kev.
But in the world of online influencers,
he's better known as The Kingmaker.
- Kingmaker. God damn it. - He represents channels
with a combined subscriber count of over 120 million,
making him the most profitable social media manager
on the scene today.
- I can get anyone 2 million followers.
Take my client "Terry Almost Drowns."
She had no brand. Poor thing. [chuckles]
She was just a woman who almost drowned
at a Fourth of July party, but I saw something in her.
She was funny when she almost drowned, you know?
And she had a good body.
She had that definition
that's, like, kind of right in the waist.
There's a word, the-- it points--
come getters.
And I look at her six months later,
she's doing a Super Bowl commercial for Oikos.
She almost drowns, but in Greek yogurt.
- The Kingmaker has made overnight sensations
of everyone from frat boy pranksters to ASMR whispers.
- I stay grinding 24/7.
I literally only have time to work
and go shopping and go to the movies
and hang out with friends while on vacation.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- Why are you showing me this?
- 'Cause the Kingmaker's in a Flo Boys video
that was uploaded today, which means
the fucking Kingmaker is in Miami right fucking now.
Come on. We gotta find him.
- I can't. I have a bio test on photosynthesis tomorrow.
- Photosynthesis? Who gives a shit about--
the plants eat sun, okay?
Some eat dirt,
and the Venus flytrap eats a fly, okay?
But then the squirrels,
they hatch under the fucking trees.
Biology. It's done, all right?
Now, come on. - Dad, seriously, I can't.
And do you even know where the Flo Boys live?
- Yeah, I know where the Flo Boys--
everybody knows where the Flo Boys live,
ever since they got doxxed by MixUp and Dash.
- You're a grown man.
You shouldn't even know those names.
- This is my profession, Corby. All right?
This is what professionalism sounds like!
- Your destination is approaching.
- 0.1% of the population would dare even try.
[phone ringing] I can also be sensitive, right?
Go for Brock. - Hi, Brock. Sandra Stevens.
Listen, something's come up.
Apparently, five boys in Ohio got poisoned while vaping,
like, actually poisoned--
liver failure, the whole deal.
So we won't be moving forward with the concept.
- Hey, you know what? Hey, hey, hey, do me a favor.
Okay? Lose my number.
All right? Because my life has value.
Do you understand that? I have a family,
I have talent, and I'm about to pull into a meeting
that's gonna change the course of my entire fucking--
[sharp ringing]
[voices echoing]
- [distorted voice] Dude.
- [groans]
- Holy shit, it worked! He's alive!
- Another epic miracle from the Lord.
- Yeah.
[car alarm blaring]
both: Jesus!
- [grunts]
What happened?
- So we got a bunch of unexploded landmines
from Cambodia for a video.
- Yeah, we buried them in the yard
and took turns throwing tennis balls trying to blow 'em up.
- [laughs] Shit was lit.
- Yeah. We thought we hit 'em all,
but I guess our numb-nut intern Kyle miscounted.
- Get over here, Kyle.
- Sorry, guys. There was no way for me
to find 'em all without blowing myself up.
- Get creative, K.
Use the drone from the comfort of your own bed.
- Seriously, Kyle,
if you wanna be a Flo Boy one day,
you gotta do better. - Yeah, man.
- Right now, you're toxic. - Hey, guys!
Guys!
[Gary Wright's "Dream Weaver"]
- * Ooh, dream weaver *
* I believe you can get me *
* Through the night *
* *
- Fuck Kyle, okay? Who cares? This man is hurt.
We need to get him inside. Act your fucking age.
Hey, we got a doctor here.
He's gonna take a look at you. You okay?
- I'm doing a lot better now.
- Let's go see Dr. Ben.
[thud]
- Well, you're lucky you just drove over
the landmine with your rear wheel,
or you'd be vaporized.
- Man, seeing someone come so close to death
makes me want to go live, you know, talk to some fans.
Remind them that we're all in the Lord's hands.
- Okay. No, no, no.
No religious videos today, Jordan.
What's my rule? - One for you, one for God--
- One for me, and then one for God.
And then one for God.
- All right, bro. My bad. - How's he doing?
- Yeah, no, I'm fine.
- Let's let Dr. Ben be the judge of that.
[laughs]
Oh, and don't let that shirt fool you.
That's just our corporate sponsor.
He's the best in the biz.
- Well, you're gonna have a headache,
and this wrist is gonna hurt you.
So I want you to stay hydrated,
and I want you to get some rest.
- Yeah, rest. Right. No time for rest.
You know, I gotta be making content 24/7.
- You're a creator? - Oh, yeah.
That's actually why I'm here.
I know who you are, Kingmaker. - Aww.
- And I think you and me should be in business together.
- A'ight.
Let's see if your brand speaks to me.
- Hey, Brock nation. Oh.
You know the story about--
say cheese, motherfucker!
No, see, you just--some--
some you're not really kind of even getting through the intro.
So you know, you kind of gotta let 'em gestate and sink in.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
So the average person only watches a video for one second.
So that's all the time you have to grab them up top.
- Yeah, well, I can fucking grab 150,000 subscribers, yeah.
- Yeah, I see your stats, but...
It just seems to have plateaued.
- Well, so a couple months ago, my--my mom got sick,
and she went into hospice.
- Did you hear yourself?
"My mom got sick and she went into hospice."
Do you hear that?
- Uh-huh. Yeah. - Do you hear that?
There's always an excuse to stop creating.
For example, Jordan and Dylan,
they had the opportunity to meet their birth parents.
- Wow. - Yeah.
And I found out it was gonna take a day of travel
and I said, "Fuck you."
- Oh, you just--you said no. - I said no.
- Yeah, "fuck you." Yeah, no.
- [inhales deeply]
Okay, you're old, but you have balls, you know?
And you're kind of zaddy,
if we just keep the camera off your legs.
Oh, my God, you know who would love you,
is Monica from YouTube.
I should just call her right now,
or I could just go see her in person.
I mean, I can practically walk in there whenever I want.
When you have as many Play Buttons as I do,
you practically get the motherfucking key.
- Yeah, fuck yeah. Let's call Monica at YouTube.
- Okay, okay. But if we're gonna do this,
like if we're gonna really, really do this...
- Yeah.
- There's some stuff you might need to change.
- Okay. Like what?
- Well, your shit has to look more professional.
Your videos need to look more polished.
- Well, see, my-- my son films me,
and, you know, I kind of like having him be a part of it.
It's--it's--it's kind of like the one thing
keeping us, you know, together.
- [mumbling] Fire your son.
[inquisitive music]
- Okay. - Right?
- Right. - Okay.
You just--you need better equipment, okay?
You cannot be shooting shit on a flip.
- Okay. - You need a legit camera.
You need a gimbal. You need a good mic.
- Gimbal's clutch.
I been saving up for one of those.
- And we gotta expand your base.
We have to expand your base. Okay, collabs.
You need to be making vids with other content creators,
you know, cross-pollinate your sub lists.
- All right, well, you're the man for that, right?
- [laughs] - You got all the contacts.
- Well, I do actually know two people right in this very house
who need to be making something right now.
They didn't do shit today, and Aeropostale's on my ass!
[laughing]
- Hey, are you saying
you want me in a Flo Boys video?
- Consider this your tryout.
[upbeat music]
- Dude, you cannot wear that in the pool.
- What? Why not? - It costs like 5 grand.
The chlorine will tarnish the gold.
- Oh, shit, you're right. I can't do God like that.
- So wait a minute.
You're, like, a doctor and a makeup artist?
- Well, I have a variety of production jobs.
Doctor. Wardrobe.
Keep the house supplied with mini-muffins.
- Yo, gots to have my minimuffs.
- He loves the mini-muffins. - Yeah.
- [laughs]
- Okay, you guys. So here's the deal.
We need to make a viral video today
that is cute, sexy, funny, adventurous,
and I'll loop back to the top, viral.
[laughs]
And we need to play to Brock's unique skill set.
- Hey, when you say unique skill set, you mean...
[snake hisses]
Oh, that skill set. - That's AJ.
He's super chill, except when he's not.
- AJ's a rattlesnake.
- Yeah, we got him for a prank six months ago.
- Yeah, we put him in Kyle's bed.
- Fucking bit him on the dick.
- Ballooned up like a sweet potato.
- Had to pee from a catheter, and he got infected.
- See, rattlers are venomous, and I catch pythons,
which, you know, don't have a venom sack.
- You're a snake hunter.
It'll be fine, and we already all talked about it.
All agreed on the concept. We love it.
Okay, is everyone ready?
Lights, camera, content!
- What is up, Flo Boy fam?
We love you, and hey,
if you're having a hard time, not anymore.
- Yo, thank you so much to everybody who came out
to the water park in Tampa-- it was amazing
meeting so many girls with just really long wet hair.
All right, so check this shit out.
Remember AJ, the guy that bit Kyle's penis?
- He got out of his cage. [gasps]
- Good thing we've got the guy
who's on top of his snake shit.
- Yo, no, we seriously love this dude
and his twisted-ass videos.
You gotta check out his channel.
What up, brah?
- [stammering] What up, Flo Boy family?
[clears throat] Um, okay.
The thing about AJ is that he is--
he's--he's a venomous snake, okay?
So normally I'd have on a pair of gloves,
or have some snake tongs--
- Okay, Professor Dork. Just grab it, dude.
- Can you just stay back, please?
All right, here we go. Come on.
Come on, just go. I'll pick you up.
[tense music]
I got you, fucker!
- Oh, shit! - Oh, that was lit!
- Literally sick!
- That was savage! - Savage!
Don't you love it when God comes through?
- Welcome to the team.
- [laughs]
- Dear Lord, we thank you for this feast,
and we thank you for our followers.
We pray that you grant us increased engagement
across all platforms... - Fuck yeah.
- And give us the strength to develop
the most epic videos that do not result in death.
And please have the girls that slide into our DMS
be over 18 years old. Amen.
- Amen. I like that. - Amen.
- Hey, what it do?
I need you to sign these release forms.
They just let us use your likeness.
You, you know, acknowledge that you're made aware
of any potential risks while filming, et cetera.
Same old boring shit as always. - Fuck yeah.
- Hey, Kyle, where's your notary kit?
- Yeah, where's your little stamp, Kyle?
- Um, I don't know actually. Haven't been able to find it
since you guys filled my room with all that shrimp.
- Okay, it's actually not funny, Kyle.
I need you to find the notary kit right now.
- Oh, yeah. I'm--I'm gonna get it.
- So, bro, Brock, you gonna do more vids with us?
- Oh, for sure.
Hell, I can come back tomorrow if you guys are working.
- Dude, we're always working, but I have to warn you
we get up, like, mad early, like, 11:45.
- Yo, you should just stay the night.
We have, like, nine empty bedrooms.
- I'd like to do that, but I gotta get home and see my kid.
You know, I'ma just get myself an Uber after dinner.
- Uber? [gags] - Gross.
- Why?
- 'Cause my fucking truck blew up.
- Oh, shit! That's right!
- That was so funny. - So funny.
[imitates explosion]
- Fuck it. Just borrow our car.
- Borrow yours?
[hip-hop music]
Whoo!
Oh, bam!
Oh!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God.
Whoo!
[engine revving]
That's what I'm talking about. [car door beeping]
Oh, yeah.
- Okay, what is going on?
- What's going on is I did it.
The Kingmaker signed me. I flipped the fucking script.
- Yeah. How much did the car cost?
- It didn't cost a dime.
It's a lender from my best friends, the Flo Boys.
- The YouTube teens? - The YouTube teens.
- Babe, what happened to your face?
It's called a fucking smile, babe.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
You're gonna see a lot more of those now, huh?
Hey, Corby,
you ever drive 120 miles per hour?
[hip-hop music]
Oh!
- Whoo! - Oh, yeah!
- This is fucking awesome!
- That's right! Oh!
Hey, I'm supposed to go back to the Flo Boys tomorrow
to shoot a video, but if we go now,
yo, they're pretty cool and the pad is sick.
You wanna check it out?
- Yeah, that sounds cool. Let's do it.
- All right, let's do it.
Whoo, baby!
[car revving]
* *
[grunts] All right.
Now if that doesn't make your balls tingle,
I don't know what will.
Hey, listen, when we get inside,
I want you to play it cool, okay?
I know it's the Flo Boy mansion,
but I don't want you touching shit or taking any souvenirs.
- I wouldn't. - Yeah.
You say that now, but wait till you see it.
Okay.
- Whoa, Dr. Ben. Que paso, amigo?
- I'm actually not a doctor right now.
Brock, I'm doing security.
Kev said if you were to show up,
take the keys,
never let you in the house again.
[tense music]
- The fuck?
- Listen, clearly,
there's a little bit of a misunderstand--oh.
- No can do.
- I'm just trying to see the Flo Boys.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey. Not this time, buddy.
[tense music]
- Okay. Okay. - Okay.
- Corby, let's get a Uber!
[shouts] - No, Brock!
- Hey! Whoa, whoa, hey.
What the fuck is going on? What the fuck?
- You cannot be here. Dr. Ben, what the fuck?
- He tricked me. It's not my fault.
Kyle was supposed to be my backup.
Fucking Kyle! - Fucking Kyle!
- Why can't I be here? Why?
- Because I can't have you distracting the boys.
Do you realize they made no content today? None.
- What are you talking about? What--
what about our fucking sick-ass rattlesnake vid?
- Sweetie, I can't upload that.
Yeah, the Flo Boys hanging out with a 45-year-old man?
I-- [laughing]
I have to laugh.
I mean, I'm literally laughing right now
in response to what I just said.
Teenage girls don't wanna see some sad dad grab a snake.
They wanna watch my boys dance.
- I thought that video was mad funny though.
- No, it wasn't.
No, it was depressing and weird.
- Dad, maybe we should just go.
- [stammers] It's a misunderstanding.
Just please. Just please. Listen to me.
Hey, if I'm just some sad dad,
then why you want me as a client?
- I know. Wait, did I say that I did?
- Yeah, you looked me right in the eye and you said,
"Welcome to the team." - Welcome to the team. Yeah.
That's fundamentally meaningless.
Kyle's part of the team.
- I mean, that whole rattlesnake thing--
that's your idea.
- Okay, okay. Let me break this down for you.
So I needed you to sign the papers waiving your right
to compensatory damages related to any prank,
video, or interaction with me and the boys, okay?
So now you can't sue us for the landmine explosion thing.
- Wait, what landmine explosion?
- Oh, something badass your dad did.
- Dude, he flew, like, 450 feet in the air.
- So many feet.
- Yeah, well, now your dad has brain damage,
which is probably why he's been acting like such a big bitch.
Okay, I'm really sorry I didn't tell you sooner.
I just had to get the papers notarized,
and then the boys gave you their fucking car!
- Dude, it's okay. Like, Brock's cool.
- Yeah, man. You didn't have to trick him.
- Guys, I did this for you, okay?
You could have gone to jail.
You could have--your channel could have been suspended.
- Wait, for real? - Yo, they take our channel?
- Yes.
- Brock, you gotta get outta here, man.
- Yeah, for real right now. You're, like, toxic.
- Bye-bye, old man.
- Yeah, Brock, fuck you!
You're toxic, and you need to go!
- Oh, shit! - Oh!
- Oh, shit, Kyle! No fucking way!
- Corby, come on. - Fucking let's go!
* *
- Where the fuck is this Uber?
- It's okay, Dad. It's not a big deal.
That Kev guy's a fucking joke.
- He discovered Terry Almost Drowns, Corby!
All right? He's not a fucking joke!
I'm sorry, all right?
I'm--I'm sorry.
[solemn music]
Fucking out here trying to be a YouTube star.
Jesus Christ, Brock.
- That's fine.
I know you're just trying
to make the best of a bad situation.
- Yeah, a bad situation I brought on myself.
- You didn't bring it on yourself.
You got fired. There was a computer glitch.
- Wake up, son.
All right? There was no glitch.
I didn't file the paperwork on purpose
'cause I wanted to get fired.
- But that night at the restaurant,
you were so upset.
- Yeah, well, that's 'cause I'm a great fucking actor.
- I don't understand.
I--I thought you liked your job.
- I did, and then one night, we were at Applebee's.
You were fucking there.
And I saw this guy, you know, and he--
he was dressed the same as me-- same khakis,
same button-down shirt from Ross--
you know, he must have just come from work.
He even ordered the same fiesta lime chicken as me.
Same lite beer as me.
Then his fucking son sits down.
Do you know what that kid's name was?
- What?
- Borby.
Yeah.
- Borby?
- Mm-hmm.
I don't know. Maybe I misheard it, okay?
'Cause I was across the room. That's not the point.
The point is,
my life was so unspectacular,
so fucking average
that there was just another one of me walking around out there.
That's not what America's about.
We're supposed to be special.
- So why not just quit?
I mean, why pretend to get fired?
- 'Cause I needed the unemployment,
and your mother wouldn't understand
and she still fucking doesn't and I don't blame her.
[softly] Where's the fucking Uber?
- Do you know why I hate making YouTube videos with you, Dad?
- Yeah, 'cause they're fucking stupid.
- 'Cause I thought you hated it too.
I thought it was just another thing
you were pretending to be okay with, right?
Like--like how you're pretending you're all right
with Matt sleeping with Mom. - Son, that's a--
I have a little bit of an elbow situation.
So, you know, your mom-- - Dad.
Come on.
- Yeah.
[clears throat]
Yeah, that Matt thing is a full-on fucking tragedy.
I love making content, Corby.
Honest to God, I mean, when that camera's on,
I feel like I could live forever.
You know, like I fucking matter.
- You know, I-- I used to always think
that you were just somebody that shit happens to, you know?
- Yeah. I know.
- But you're not.
You're someone who makes shit happen.
- Thanks, son.
I mean, it means a lot to me that you think that, but...
- Yeah.
- I'm not the guy that makes shit happen.
I'm not. I'm too old.
And I have no one to collab with.
And I have shitty fucking equipment.
- So let's buy some new equipment.
- Corby, I'm broke.
I mean, I am broke.
[sighs]
- Well...
I mean, we could always...
sell this.
- Oh. What the fuck?
- Come on, Dad. It's the Flo Boy mansion.
I had to take a little souvenir.
[upbeat music]
- Oh. That's my fucking cameraman.
- A camera. - Yep, that's the one.
Top of the line.
- Got a microphone.
- Yeah, professional grade.
- And a gimbal.
- Still have no idea what the fuck a gimbal is.
- Well, all together, that comes up to
$2,079.15.
- Hey, how much we get for pawning that necklace?
- Ah, 2,500.
- Okay, so that's about-- that's about 400 to spare.
What do you want? You wanna go get some expensive haircuts?
Yeah? Some steaks and cigars?
Rent a couple Jet Skis? Do some damage?
- All right, all right.
- Oh. Oh, yeah.
How much are those drones?
- Uh, 399.99.
[Gary Wrights' "Dream Weaver"]
- Ring her up.
* *
- * Though the dawn may be coming soon *
Fuck yeah. We got picture.
[laughs]
Whoo.
Yeah, I'll show you professional vids, Kev.
[laughs] God damn!
- * Fly me away *
* To the bright side of the moon *
* *
* Meet me on the other side *
* *
* Ooh, ooh, dream weaver *
* I believe you can get me *
* Through the night *
- Oh, no.
What the fuck?
- * Ooh, ooh, dream weaver *
* I believe we can reach *
* The morning light *
* *
* Fly me high through the starry skies *
* Or maybe to an astral plane *
* *
* Cross the highways of fantasy *
* *
* Help me to forget today's pain *
* Ooh, ooh, dream weaver *
* I believe you can get me through the night *
* *
* Ooh, ooh, dream weaver *
* I believe we can reach the morning light *
* *
* Dream weaver *
* Weaver, weaver, weaver, weaver *
[echoing]
* *
- Not a doctor. Shh.