1 00:00:10,621 --> 00:00:14,258 - * MTV * 2 00:00:20,997 --> 00:00:22,266 [boom] 3 00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:26,370 [epic music] 4 00:00:26,437 --> 00:00:28,739 [metal scraping] 5 00:00:28,805 --> 00:00:31,475 * * 6 00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:34,245 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh heh heh heh. 7 00:00:34,311 --> 00:00:35,446 - Ow! 8 00:00:35,512 --> 00:00:37,080 [lasers zap] 9 00:00:37,148 --> 00:00:38,315 Whoa! 10 00:00:38,382 --> 00:00:39,983 - Cool. Heh heh heh heh. 11 00:00:40,050 --> 00:00:41,318 - Aah! 12 00:00:41,385 --> 00:00:42,986 [lasers zap] 13 00:00:43,053 --> 00:00:44,421 Aah! 14 00:00:44,488 --> 00:00:45,922 - Hee hee hee hee. 15 00:00:45,989 --> 00:00:47,991 [lasers zapping] 16 00:00:48,058 --> 00:00:49,393 - Aah! 17 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,262 Ow! Damn it, Butt-Head. 18 00:00:51,328 --> 00:00:53,764 Ow! Space sucks. 19 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:58,735 - Heh heh heh. That was cool. 20 00:00:58,802 --> 00:01:00,871 [boom] 21 00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:04,275 [epic music] 22 00:01:04,341 --> 00:01:11,482 * * 23 00:01:15,752 --> 00:01:18,155 [dramatic vocalization] 24 00:01:18,222 --> 00:01:20,657 [explosions booming] 25 00:01:21,592 --> 00:01:27,731 * * 26 00:01:34,805 --> 00:01:37,574 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh heh heh. 27 00:01:41,445 --> 00:01:44,248 - Oh, hello. I'm Butt-Head. 28 00:01:44,315 --> 00:01:45,582 Heh heh heh. 29 00:01:45,649 --> 00:01:47,451 - And I'm Beavis. Heh. Heh. Welcome. 30 00:01:47,518 --> 00:01:48,852 Heh heh heh. 31 00:01:48,919 --> 00:01:50,421 - Some of you may be wondering where 32 00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,389 we've been since we saw you last. 33 00:01:52,456 --> 00:01:54,558 Well, it's quite a tale. 34 00:01:54,625 --> 00:01:57,728 A tale of two heroes on a quest to score, 35 00:01:57,794 --> 00:01:59,730 across time and space. 36 00:01:59,796 --> 00:02:02,999 It's a story of sex, violence, power-- 37 00:02:03,066 --> 00:02:05,302 - Yeah, and fire, heh, yeah, fire, heh. 38 00:02:05,369 --> 00:02:06,803 Yeah, don't forget about that. 39 00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:09,640 - It all began one ordinary day, 40 00:02:09,706 --> 00:02:12,175 a day just like any other. 41 00:02:12,243 --> 00:02:14,311 Heh heh. - [whacking] Ow! Ow! 42 00:02:14,378 --> 00:02:16,280 Ow! Heh. Ow! Heh. 43 00:02:16,347 --> 00:02:17,748 Ow...heh...ow...heh... 44 00:02:17,814 --> 00:02:19,250 Aah! Ow! 45 00:02:19,316 --> 00:02:22,185 Aah! Ow! Heh...ow! 46 00:02:22,253 --> 00:02:24,020 - What are you two doing? 47 00:02:24,087 --> 00:02:25,389 - Ow! Heh. 48 00:02:25,456 --> 00:02:27,791 - Uh...we're trying to find out how many times 49 00:02:27,858 --> 00:02:30,294 I can kick Beavis in the nads before he passes out. 50 00:02:30,361 --> 00:02:31,628 - Yeah, heh. 51 00:02:31,695 --> 00:02:34,965 - And that's your science fair project? 52 00:02:35,031 --> 00:02:36,132 - Uhh... 53 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,434 what science fair? 54 00:02:37,501 --> 00:02:38,835 - Yeah, what's that? 55 00:02:38,902 --> 00:02:40,504 - Heh heh - Heh heh heh. 56 00:02:40,571 --> 00:02:44,475 - Well, it's too bad you didn't take this more seriously, okay? 57 00:02:44,541 --> 00:02:46,410 The winner of the science fair this year 58 00:02:46,477 --> 00:02:50,113 gets a free trip to NASA Space Camp. 59 00:02:50,180 --> 00:02:51,382 - Whoa. 60 00:02:51,448 --> 00:02:52,583 Space camp? 61 00:02:52,649 --> 00:02:53,950 That's pretty cool, Butt-Head. 62 00:02:54,017 --> 00:02:56,987 What if we really did do a nad-kicking 63 00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:59,290 science experiment and, and like, 64 00:02:59,356 --> 00:03:00,591 we did measurements 65 00:03:00,657 --> 00:03:02,526 and we wrote stuff down with a pencil 66 00:03:02,593 --> 00:03:03,794 like you're supposed to and-- 67 00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:06,162 and maybe we could prove everybody wrong 68 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,164 and win the whole science-- 69 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,266 [whack] - Aah! 70 00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:11,001 - Heh heh. 71 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:12,336 Whoa. 72 00:03:12,403 --> 00:03:14,371 [inspirational music plays] 73 00:03:14,438 --> 00:03:18,008 - Beavis, I have an idea for our science fair project. 74 00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:20,511 Heh heh heh heh. 75 00:03:20,577 --> 00:03:23,246 Uh, okay, now stand here. 76 00:03:23,314 --> 00:03:25,248 - Okay. 77 00:03:25,316 --> 00:03:27,518 - Heh heh heh. 78 00:03:27,584 --> 00:03:28,952 - Okay. 79 00:03:29,019 --> 00:03:31,087 You're not gonna kick me in the nads again, are you? 80 00:03:31,154 --> 00:03:32,623 - No, I'm not, Beavis. 81 00:03:32,689 --> 00:03:33,857 Those days are over. 82 00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:36,660 - Oh, good. That's a relief. 83 00:03:36,727 --> 00:03:38,629 That is the best news I've heard all day. 84 00:03:38,695 --> 00:03:41,298 Heh heh heh. 85 00:03:41,365 --> 00:03:42,265 What's that thing? 86 00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:44,935 [screams] 87 00:03:46,737 --> 00:03:48,138 [crowd gasps] 88 00:03:48,204 --> 00:03:49,706 [crack] - Aah! 89 00:03:52,943 --> 00:03:53,810 - Aah! 90 00:03:53,877 --> 00:03:56,447 Ahh--uhh-- [grunting] 91 00:03:56,513 --> 00:03:57,748 [fire alarm rings] 92 00:03:57,814 --> 00:04:00,517 [coughs, grunts] - Beavis! 93 00:04:00,584 --> 00:04:03,219 Beavis, what the hell are you doing? 94 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:07,090 - Did we win the science fair? - Even better, Beavis. 95 00:04:07,157 --> 00:04:08,291 We kicked its ass. 96 00:04:08,359 --> 00:04:09,560 Check it out. 97 00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:12,262 - Whoa! Fire! Fire! 98 00:04:12,329 --> 00:04:14,965 Fire! Heh. Fire! 99 00:04:15,832 --> 00:04:17,100 - Beavis and Butt-Head, 100 00:04:17,167 --> 00:04:19,470 this court hereby finds you guilty. 101 00:04:19,536 --> 00:04:21,605 - Yes! - Yeah! 102 00:04:21,672 --> 00:04:22,639 Kick-ass, yeah. 103 00:04:22,706 --> 00:04:25,776 - Please rise. 104 00:04:25,842 --> 00:04:28,412 Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence? 105 00:04:28,479 --> 00:04:31,081 - Uhh, if it like pleased the court, 106 00:04:31,147 --> 00:04:32,616 or something? 107 00:04:32,683 --> 00:04:35,752 In my defense, I was trying to kick Beavis in the nads. 108 00:04:35,819 --> 00:04:39,623 - And I just want to say, Your Majesty, 109 00:04:39,690 --> 00:04:43,059 that, um, the explosions were really cool. 110 00:04:43,126 --> 00:04:45,362 Amen. Heh heh. 111 00:04:45,429 --> 00:04:47,798 - Many have said, when it comes to sentencing, 112 00:04:47,864 --> 00:04:49,666 I'm the toughest judge in the state. 113 00:04:49,733 --> 00:04:51,134 And they're right. 114 00:04:51,201 --> 00:04:54,004 But last night, I watched a show called 115 00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:56,907 "Touched by an Angel," and it made me think. 116 00:04:56,973 --> 00:04:59,309 When I look at these two boys today, 117 00:04:59,376 --> 00:05:02,078 I don't see their failure. 118 00:05:02,145 --> 00:05:04,014 I see our failure. 119 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,149 - He said "touched." - Heh heh heh. 120 00:05:06,216 --> 00:05:07,384 - Heh, heh, yeah, heh. 121 00:05:07,451 --> 00:05:09,720 - You boys like explosions, don't you? 122 00:05:09,786 --> 00:05:11,354 - Uh. Yeah. 123 00:05:11,422 --> 00:05:13,123 - And fire. Heh heh heh. 124 00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:15,225 - Well, you know who else liked explosions? 125 00:05:15,291 --> 00:05:17,728 Neil Armstrong. 126 00:05:17,794 --> 00:05:20,030 And the only difference between him and you 127 00:05:20,096 --> 00:05:22,633 is he had the benefit of supportive families 128 00:05:22,699 --> 00:05:24,034 and teachers. 129 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,869 - Families. Heh heh heh. 130 00:05:25,936 --> 00:05:28,138 - You know what Neil Armstrong did? 131 00:05:28,204 --> 00:05:29,239 - Did he score? 132 00:05:29,305 --> 00:05:31,642 - He was the first man on the moon. 133 00:05:31,708 --> 00:05:32,876 - Yeah, yeah. 134 00:05:32,943 --> 00:05:34,310 - We never found out who 135 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:35,979 won that trip to space camp, 136 00:05:36,046 --> 00:05:38,949 because the records were lost when the gym burned down. 137 00:05:39,015 --> 00:05:41,418 But whoever it was is going to be fine. 138 00:05:41,485 --> 00:05:45,756 They're going to go on to good colleges and fine careers. 139 00:05:45,822 --> 00:05:48,759 So I say, why not give opportunity 140 00:05:48,825 --> 00:05:51,061 to those who really need it 141 00:05:51,127 --> 00:05:54,665 and unlock the potential of these two at-risk youths? 142 00:05:54,731 --> 00:05:57,734 I hereby sentence Beavis and Butt-Head 143 00:05:57,801 --> 00:06:01,404 to eight weeks of Space Camp. 144 00:06:01,472 --> 00:06:03,339 - O-o-oh, no! 145 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:06,409 [uplifting music plays] 146 00:06:06,477 --> 00:06:10,213 * * 147 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,749 [indistinct chatter] 148 00:06:12,816 --> 00:06:14,350 - Heh heh heh heh. 149 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,052 It says Johnson. 150 00:06:16,119 --> 00:06:18,889 - Heh heh heh. - Boi-oi-oi-oing... 151 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,592 - Good morning. 152 00:06:21,658 --> 00:06:23,259 I'm Commander Serena Ryan, 153 00:06:23,326 --> 00:06:25,862 and I'm captain of the Space Shuttle Endeavor. 154 00:06:25,929 --> 00:06:27,397 And I'm Jim Hartson, 155 00:06:27,464 --> 00:06:29,265 the lieutenant commander, which is also an important-- 156 00:06:29,332 --> 00:06:31,001 - This week, you'll have a front row seat 157 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,369 while we prepare to take a very important mission 158 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:34,671 into space. - Yep. 159 00:06:34,738 --> 00:06:35,972 - We're gonna bring a new 160 00:06:36,039 --> 00:06:37,908 telescope to the Mir space station 161 00:06:37,974 --> 00:06:41,211 and use it to observe a small black hole. 162 00:06:41,277 --> 00:06:42,713 - Hole. 163 00:06:42,779 --> 00:06:44,114 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh. Heh. 164 00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:45,782 - Albert Einstein and Nathan Rosen theorized 165 00:06:45,849 --> 00:06:47,217 black holes could contain rifts 166 00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:50,186 in the very fabric of the universe, or wormholes, 167 00:06:50,253 --> 00:06:52,823 that could allow one to travel through time and space. 168 00:06:52,889 --> 00:06:54,991 - Wormhole? Uh-heh-heh. 169 00:06:55,058 --> 00:06:58,328 - Yeah, I always wondered how worms score. 170 00:06:58,394 --> 00:07:00,764 - To my right here is a model of the entry port 171 00:07:00,831 --> 00:07:02,733 of Russia's Mir Space Station, 172 00:07:02,799 --> 00:07:04,134 where we're going to have to execute 173 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,369 a very difficult docking maneuver. 174 00:07:06,436 --> 00:07:08,805 I'm going to turn things over to Officer Hartson now 175 00:07:08,872 --> 00:07:11,542 and he's going to show us how it works. 176 00:07:11,608 --> 00:07:15,111 [mechanical whirring] 177 00:07:15,178 --> 00:07:16,279 - Whoa! 178 00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:18,348 - Oohh, yeah! 179 00:07:18,414 --> 00:07:21,985 [snickering] 180 00:07:22,052 --> 00:07:24,054 [Mechanical whirring] [snickering] 181 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,523 - Oohh, yeah. - Whoa. 182 00:07:26,590 --> 00:07:28,759 - Heh heh heh. 183 00:07:28,825 --> 00:07:30,426 - Okay, space campers. 184 00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:33,730 Now, the fun stuff-- Orbital mechanics. 185 00:07:33,797 --> 00:07:35,465 Come on. group: Yeah! 186 00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,635 - Heh heh heh heh. 187 00:07:38,702 --> 00:07:41,805 - Heh. Heh-heh. - Heh. 188 00:07:43,874 --> 00:07:45,809 Oohh, yeah! 189 00:07:45,876 --> 00:07:48,745 [mechanical whirring] [snickering] 190 00:07:49,713 --> 00:07:51,948 - Oohh, yeah! - Whoa! 191 00:07:53,049 --> 00:07:54,117 [snickering continues] 192 00:07:54,184 --> 00:07:56,553 - Oohh, yeah! - Whoa! 193 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:59,089 - Oh! - Whoa... 194 00:07:59,155 --> 00:08:00,991 [snickering continues] 195 00:08:01,057 --> 00:08:04,160 - Oohh, yeah. - Whoa! 196 00:08:05,261 --> 00:08:07,130 - Oohh, yeah, get it! - Whoa. 197 00:08:07,197 --> 00:08:08,565 - Yeah. - Heh heh heh. 198 00:08:08,632 --> 00:08:09,833 - I hope you're not spending 199 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:11,802 too much with the space campers, Serena. 200 00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:13,804 NASA has a lot riding on this mission. 201 00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:15,572 - Hey, you guys have to see this. 202 00:08:15,639 --> 00:08:16,940 It's amazing. 203 00:08:17,007 --> 00:08:19,075 - Ooh, yeah! - It's these two kids 204 00:08:19,142 --> 00:08:20,911 from Space Camp-- they're phenomenal! 205 00:08:20,977 --> 00:08:22,913 They've been doing this for 18 hours 206 00:08:22,979 --> 00:08:25,048 without food or water. 207 00:08:25,115 --> 00:08:27,050 It's almost like they have an unhealthy 208 00:08:27,117 --> 00:08:28,952 single-minded obsession with it. 209 00:08:29,019 --> 00:08:30,921 - Check this out, Butt-Head. [whirring] 210 00:08:30,987 --> 00:08:33,323 [whirring] [Beavis snickers] 211 00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:41,131 - They're using the robotic arm 212 00:08:41,197 --> 00:08:43,800 as a secondary backup in case of mechanical failure. 213 00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:44,968 No one's ever thought of that. 214 00:08:45,035 --> 00:08:47,070 - Incredible. 215 00:08:47,137 --> 00:08:48,839 - They're brilliant. 216 00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:50,707 - Wait a minute. 217 00:08:50,774 --> 00:08:54,344 What if we brought them on the mission to do the docking? 218 00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:56,713 - You want those two to go up in space 219 00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:58,682 and dock the actual space shuttle 220 00:08:58,749 --> 00:09:00,250 to the Mir space station? 221 00:09:00,316 --> 00:09:01,885 - And also, I thought I was gonna do that-- 222 00:09:01,952 --> 00:09:03,153 - Think of the PR. 223 00:09:03,219 --> 00:09:05,255 Two at-risk youths turned astronauts? 224 00:09:05,321 --> 00:09:07,223 We could finally get Americans interested 225 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,625 in the space program again. 226 00:09:08,692 --> 00:09:11,127 What do we have to lose? - Nothing, I don't think. 227 00:09:11,194 --> 00:09:12,863 - They'll never make it through the training. 228 00:09:12,929 --> 00:09:14,698 - But if they do? 229 00:09:14,765 --> 00:09:16,532 - Whoa! - Yeah! 230 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,702 - We'll see. 231 00:09:18,769 --> 00:09:21,204 - Oohh, yeah. - Hey, boys. 232 00:09:21,271 --> 00:09:23,439 - Shut up! We're busy. - Let me ask you something. 233 00:09:23,506 --> 00:09:26,442 How would you guys like to do that... 234 00:09:26,509 --> 00:09:28,879 but do it for real? 235 00:09:28,945 --> 00:09:31,547 - Whoa. You want us to do that... 236 00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:34,084 for real? - Whoa. Heh heh. 237 00:09:34,150 --> 00:09:36,820 - That's right. I want you to do that for real. 238 00:09:36,887 --> 00:09:38,922 In space, with me. 239 00:09:38,989 --> 00:09:40,991 - W-w-with you? Heh. Heh. 240 00:09:41,057 --> 00:09:42,826 - That's right. - Whoa! 241 00:09:42,893 --> 00:09:44,194 - Yes! - Absolutely. 242 00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:46,229 - Yes! A thousand times yes! 243 00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:49,332 - I like your enthusiasm. But it's gonna be hard work. 244 00:09:49,399 --> 00:09:51,935 You're gonna have to practice doing this a lot. 245 00:09:52,002 --> 00:09:53,904 For hours, every day. 246 00:09:53,970 --> 00:09:55,471 - Yeah, I--I already do. Yeah, heh. 247 00:09:55,538 --> 00:09:56,840 In the bathroom, yeah. 248 00:09:56,907 --> 00:09:59,075 Sometimes, in the teacher's lounge. 249 00:09:59,142 --> 00:10:00,677 - Heh-heh. Ma'am. 250 00:10:00,744 --> 00:10:03,446 We've been waiting our entire lives for this opportunity. 251 00:10:03,513 --> 00:10:04,815 We will not let you down. 252 00:10:04,881 --> 00:10:06,883 [dramatic music] 253 00:10:06,950 --> 00:10:08,952 - Then let's start your training. 254 00:10:09,019 --> 00:10:10,787 - Yeah! - Heh heh heh. 255 00:10:10,854 --> 00:10:15,358 * * 256 00:10:15,425 --> 00:10:16,727 - Beavis. 257 00:10:16,793 --> 00:10:19,295 The government is about to train our schlongs. 258 00:10:19,362 --> 00:10:22,465 - For all mankind. [snickers] 259 00:10:22,532 --> 00:10:27,270 [mechanical whirring] - Whoa! 260 00:10:27,337 --> 00:10:31,107 - Hey, Butt-Head, what part of sex does this train us for? 261 00:10:31,174 --> 00:10:33,109 - Uh...I think it's the part 262 00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:35,078 where your face hurts or something. 263 00:10:35,145 --> 00:10:38,949 - Oh, yeah, yeah. That's gonna be good, yeah. 264 00:10:39,015 --> 00:10:42,085 [[echanical whirring] - Oohh, yeah. 265 00:10:42,152 --> 00:10:44,821 [smacking sound] - Get it! Yeah, yeah! 266 00:10:44,888 --> 00:10:47,623 [snickering] 267 00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:49,726 [both groaning] 268 00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:52,462 - Does everybody who scores have to do this? 269 00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:54,164 - Uhhh...probably. 270 00:10:54,230 --> 00:10:56,767 - Ugh. - Damn it. 271 00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:58,268 [snickering] 272 00:10:58,334 --> 00:11:01,337 [mechanical whirring] [snickering] 273 00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:05,909 - Not bad. 274 00:11:05,976 --> 00:11:08,011 [airplane engines revving] 275 00:11:08,078 --> 00:11:09,679 - Heh-heh. Heh. 276 00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,483 - Damn it, Beavis, stop barfing or you're going to 277 00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:14,517 make me bar-- 278 00:11:15,952 --> 00:11:17,988 [both groaning] 279 00:11:19,689 --> 00:11:21,357 - Uh... - Yeah, boy. 280 00:11:21,424 --> 00:11:22,959 - Well, that concludes your training. 281 00:11:23,026 --> 00:11:24,294 So what do you think? 282 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,695 Are you ready to do it? 283 00:11:25,762 --> 00:11:27,998 - Yeah, I was ready before, but now I know how 284 00:11:28,064 --> 00:11:30,000 to do it upside down, or something. 285 00:11:30,066 --> 00:11:31,401 - Yeah. 286 00:11:31,467 --> 00:11:33,136 I'm ready to do it right now, if you want. 287 00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:34,637 - That's what I like to hear. 288 00:11:34,704 --> 00:11:36,773 Now, go get yourselves cleaned up. 289 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,877 - Beavis, tomorrow, we are going to score with that lady. 290 00:11:40,944 --> 00:11:43,079 [snickering] - In outer space? 291 00:11:43,146 --> 00:11:44,815 - Wherever she wants it. 292 00:11:44,881 --> 00:11:48,018 Outer space, the back of a car, I don't care. 293 00:11:48,084 --> 00:11:50,821 - Yeah, me neither. 294 00:11:50,887 --> 00:11:53,123 - Well? What do you think? 295 00:11:53,189 --> 00:11:56,026 - I think NASA has a couple new astronauts. 296 00:11:56,092 --> 00:12:02,899 [uplifting music] 297 00:12:02,966 --> 00:12:07,403 * * 298 00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:09,873 [crowd cheering] 299 00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:12,375 - Do you know how few people 300 00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:14,510 have done what you're about to do? 301 00:12:14,577 --> 00:12:15,879 - Um. No. 302 00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:18,748 - Only 256 men and 49 women. 303 00:12:18,815 --> 00:12:20,884 - That's a little more than I was hoping, 304 00:12:20,951 --> 00:12:22,118 but, you know, that's okay. 305 00:12:22,185 --> 00:12:24,087 - From 16 different countries, 306 00:12:24,154 --> 00:12:26,857 ranging in age from 28-77. 307 00:12:26,923 --> 00:12:29,592 - Jesus Christ! We get it. 308 00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:32,162 - And that's not even counting the Russian dog and the monkey. 309 00:12:32,228 --> 00:12:33,563 - Enough! [nervous giggling] 310 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,765 - Of course, there were some who didn't make it. 311 00:12:35,832 --> 00:12:37,868 - We're not going to be one of those, ma'am. 312 00:12:37,934 --> 00:12:40,003 I can assure you. 313 00:12:40,070 --> 00:12:41,204 - Yeah, we understand the risks. 314 00:12:41,271 --> 00:12:43,406 - Mr. Beaven. Mr. Boothroid. 315 00:12:43,473 --> 00:12:46,309 You're the youngest astronauts ever on the space shuttle. 316 00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:48,711 What's this moment feel like? 317 00:12:48,778 --> 00:12:50,546 - Oh, hold on a second. 318 00:12:50,613 --> 00:12:52,448 I've got something I want to say. 319 00:12:52,515 --> 00:12:53,850 Heh heh heh. 320 00:12:53,917 --> 00:12:56,052 Um, I just wanna say 321 00:12:56,119 --> 00:12:57,820 I've wanted to do this my whole life, 322 00:12:57,888 --> 00:13:00,957 but I never thought it would really happen, 323 00:13:01,024 --> 00:13:02,825 and I dreamed about it every night 324 00:13:02,893 --> 00:13:04,660 and then--and then I'd wake up 325 00:13:04,727 --> 00:13:07,964 and feel ashamed and I'd try to hide it from my mom. 326 00:13:08,031 --> 00:13:10,233 But today, my dream will come true. 327 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,701 - Heh heh heh. - And, um, 328 00:13:11,767 --> 00:13:14,270 I just want to say that makes me the luckiest man 329 00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:17,507 in the world. 330 00:13:17,573 --> 00:13:19,709 [applause] 331 00:13:19,775 --> 00:13:22,412 [crowd cheers] 332 00:13:23,113 --> 00:13:25,882 - Boi-oi-oi-oing! 333 00:13:25,949 --> 00:13:31,021 - 10, 9, 8, 7, 6... 334 00:13:31,087 --> 00:13:32,889 - Counting sucks. 335 00:13:32,956 --> 00:13:34,757 - [snickers] 336 00:13:34,824 --> 00:13:38,294 - 2, 1, lift-off. 337 00:13:38,361 --> 00:13:41,764 - Fire! Fire! Fire! 338 00:13:41,831 --> 00:13:47,437 * * 339 00:13:47,503 --> 00:13:51,541 - Endeavor, you are a go for orbital operations. 340 00:13:51,607 --> 00:13:54,077 [Beavis snickering] - Damn it. 341 00:13:54,144 --> 00:13:55,878 - I think the floor's not working. 342 00:13:55,946 --> 00:13:57,580 - How are you boys doing? 343 00:13:57,647 --> 00:14:00,650 - Well, Serena, um, do you wanna like just do it right now? 344 00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:02,185 or I was thinking maybe we could-- 345 00:14:02,252 --> 00:14:03,553 - We don't need you 346 00:14:03,619 --> 00:14:04,955 until we dock with the Mir in three hours. 347 00:14:05,021 --> 00:14:09,159 Until then, do you wanna see something amazing? 348 00:14:09,225 --> 00:14:11,394 [clank, whoosh] 349 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:21,237 Sunrise over Mother Earth. 350 00:14:21,304 --> 00:14:24,574 Incredible, isn't it? 351 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,642 - Is it three hours yet? [giggling] 352 00:14:26,709 --> 00:14:28,811 - This is the best view on the whole ship. 353 00:14:28,878 --> 00:14:31,747 That's why they put the controls for the telescope here. 354 00:14:31,814 --> 00:14:34,617 Don't mess with those, unless you want to risk 355 00:14:34,684 --> 00:14:37,320 breaking a $2 billion piece of equipment. 356 00:14:39,422 --> 00:14:40,957 - Now it's probably three hours, right? 357 00:14:41,024 --> 00:14:42,492 [snickering] 358 00:14:42,558 --> 00:14:46,429 - Take it all in while you can. Just think, all of life, 359 00:14:46,496 --> 00:14:47,998 everything we've ever known, 360 00:14:48,064 --> 00:14:51,501 is down there on that beautiful blue marble. 361 00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:54,670 [uplifting violin music] 362 00:14:54,737 --> 00:14:58,841 * * 363 00:14:58,908 --> 00:15:01,511 - Ehh. The Earth sucks. 364 00:15:02,478 --> 00:15:04,214 Let's mess with those things. 365 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,216 Heh heh heh. 366 00:15:06,282 --> 00:15:10,120 [mechanical whirring] 367 00:15:10,186 --> 00:15:13,556 [clanging] 368 00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:18,328 All I see is, like, nighttime or something. 369 00:15:18,394 --> 00:15:20,630 - Let's point it at the sun. 370 00:15:20,696 --> 00:15:25,168 - Cool, yeah. Heh heh. Maybe we'll see some fire. 371 00:15:25,235 --> 00:15:28,904 [dramatic chords] 372 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:32,608 - Let's have a look here. See what we can see. 373 00:15:32,675 --> 00:15:35,411 [sizzling sounds] Aah! 374 00:15:35,478 --> 00:15:38,981 I saw something but, like, it went away. 375 00:15:39,049 --> 00:15:41,817 - Try the other eye. You've got two of them. 376 00:15:41,884 --> 00:15:44,154 - Oh yeah, yeah, heh. Good idea. 377 00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,889 Look over here and-- aah! 378 00:15:46,956 --> 00:15:49,092 - Beavis, you can't do anything right. 379 00:15:49,159 --> 00:15:50,860 Step aside. 380 00:15:52,662 --> 00:15:54,597 [Butt-Head screams distantly] 381 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,502 [scream continues] 382 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,710 [hissing] 383 00:16:07,777 --> 00:16:09,779 - Okay, boys. It's go time. 384 00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:14,550 [boys snickering] 385 00:16:14,617 --> 00:16:18,188 - It's kinda dark. - Let me help you there. 386 00:16:18,254 --> 00:16:20,190 It can be tough, your first time in space. 387 00:16:20,256 --> 00:16:22,392 - Thank you, ma'am. 388 00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:23,693 - Are you ready to do it? 389 00:16:23,759 --> 00:16:24,960 - Yeah, but I thought you wanted us 390 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,396 to do the docking first. 391 00:16:26,462 --> 00:16:28,831 - Commence docking sequence. 392 00:16:28,898 --> 00:16:33,869 [heroic music] 393 00:16:33,936 --> 00:16:37,039 [snickering] 394 00:16:37,107 --> 00:16:42,278 * * 395 00:16:42,345 --> 00:16:44,914 - See? They're doing great. 396 00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:46,949 [console beeping] 397 00:16:47,016 --> 00:16:49,919 [dramatic music] 398 00:16:49,985 --> 00:16:51,954 * * 399 00:16:52,021 --> 00:16:53,156 [alarm beeping] 400 00:16:53,223 --> 00:16:54,957 Wait. What are you doing? 401 00:16:55,024 --> 00:16:56,659 What are they doing? 402 00:17:02,465 --> 00:17:03,999 - No, no, stop! - No, no, no-- 403 00:17:07,937 --> 00:17:09,439 [overlapping yelling] Beavis: What's going on? 404 00:17:09,505 --> 00:17:10,673 [alarms beep] - Whoa! 405 00:17:12,742 --> 00:17:14,444 [clank] - Ow! Somebody hit us! 406 00:17:14,510 --> 00:17:17,680 [overlapping shouting] 407 00:17:17,747 --> 00:17:19,815 [fire alarm blaring] - Fire! 408 00:17:19,882 --> 00:17:22,051 - Fire! Fire! 409 00:17:22,118 --> 00:17:24,320 Damn it, I can't see it. 410 00:17:26,422 --> 00:17:28,958 Fire! 411 00:17:34,164 --> 00:17:35,765 [click] - Endeavor. 412 00:17:35,831 --> 00:17:37,767 Endeavor, can you hear me? 413 00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:43,339 - We copy, Houston. 414 00:17:43,406 --> 00:17:45,708 - Endeavor, your situation is critical. 415 00:17:45,775 --> 00:17:48,244 You've lost 91% of your oxygen 416 00:17:48,311 --> 00:17:51,447 and 93% of the fuel you need to return to Earth. 417 00:17:51,514 --> 00:17:53,015 The Mir has been damaged, 418 00:17:53,082 --> 00:17:55,651 causing an international incident with Russia. 419 00:17:55,718 --> 00:17:58,120 We've missed our window to observe the black hole 420 00:17:58,188 --> 00:18:01,624 which will next be this close to Earth in 34 trillion years. 421 00:18:01,691 --> 00:18:03,359 Also... [static] 422 00:18:07,062 --> 00:18:09,732 - And now we've lost comms with Earth. 423 00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:11,066 - Uhh... 424 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,668 well, if you're looking for some good news, 425 00:18:12,735 --> 00:18:15,171 I can see again. [snickering] 426 00:18:15,238 --> 00:18:17,039 - Yeah, we're ready to try the docking now. 427 00:18:17,106 --> 00:18:19,609 - Looks like you guys got in a wreck. 428 00:18:19,675 --> 00:18:21,711 - Heh-heh. Yeah, what happened? 429 00:18:21,777 --> 00:18:23,679 - We're gonna make it back to Earth. 430 00:18:23,746 --> 00:18:25,248 I promise you that. 431 00:18:25,315 --> 00:18:26,849 But here's the problem. 432 00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:28,618 I don't know how to say this, 433 00:18:28,684 --> 00:18:29,719 so I'm just gonna get right to it. 434 00:18:29,785 --> 00:18:31,086 There are seven of us, 435 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,523 and we only have enough oxygen for five people 436 00:18:33,589 --> 00:18:35,024 to make it home alive. 437 00:18:35,090 --> 00:18:37,126 So we all have a decision to make. 438 00:18:37,193 --> 00:18:41,897 Two people need to sacrifice themselves. 439 00:18:41,964 --> 00:18:43,866 - Um, heh. Now, look, um, heh. 440 00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:46,669 I-I think we're all thinking the same thing here. 441 00:18:46,736 --> 00:18:48,338 Can we put the TV back on? 442 00:18:48,404 --> 00:18:51,674 - Yeah, but something cool this time, 'cause that show sucked. 443 00:18:51,741 --> 00:18:54,677 - Yeah, yeah, really. "You have no oxygen." 444 00:18:54,744 --> 00:18:56,446 Blah, blah, blah, blah. - No, we can't put 445 00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,214 the TV back on-- that was our last 446 00:18:58,281 --> 00:18:59,649 communication with Earth. 447 00:18:59,715 --> 00:19:01,717 - You know... - Captain, if I can make 448 00:19:01,784 --> 00:19:03,853 a suggestion-- - Guys. 449 00:19:03,919 --> 00:19:06,121 I volunteer. 450 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,524 - Captain, no. - You can't be serious. 451 00:19:08,591 --> 00:19:10,560 - I'm the captain of this ship. 452 00:19:10,626 --> 00:19:12,728 It would be easy to blame our predicament 453 00:19:12,795 --> 00:19:15,431 on the mistakes of two absolute idiots. 454 00:19:15,498 --> 00:19:17,567 - Boy, I'm glad you said it and not us. 455 00:19:17,633 --> 00:19:19,535 Heh-heh. - Yeah, really. 456 00:19:19,602 --> 00:19:21,904 Where'd you find these two dumbasses? 457 00:19:21,971 --> 00:19:25,675 - No, you! I'm clearly talking about you. 458 00:19:25,741 --> 00:19:28,378 But I chose you for this mission. 459 00:19:28,444 --> 00:19:29,879 And ultimately, 460 00:19:29,945 --> 00:19:32,748 the responsibility lies with me. 461 00:19:32,815 --> 00:19:34,584 - I'll volunteer too. 462 00:19:34,650 --> 00:19:36,452 If this is the end, 463 00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:38,821 I wanna make it count for something. 464 00:19:38,888 --> 00:19:42,024 - End. [snickering] 465 00:19:42,091 --> 00:19:45,561 - I'm gonna put on my suit and take one last spacewalk. 466 00:19:45,628 --> 00:19:48,998 It's how I always wanted to go. 467 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,435 - Wait a minute, where's she going? 468 00:19:52,502 --> 00:19:54,203 Is it time to score? Heh heh heh. 469 00:19:54,270 --> 00:19:57,006 - Beavis, they put us in this rocket thing 470 00:19:57,072 --> 00:20:00,242 for one reason: to score with Serena. 471 00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:03,579 It's gonna be one giant leap for our schlongs. 472 00:20:03,646 --> 00:20:06,282 - Yeah, for all mankind. [both snickering] 473 00:20:06,349 --> 00:20:10,653 [sentimental music] 474 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:11,887 - Uh, Serena? 475 00:20:11,954 --> 00:20:13,523 - What? 476 00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:16,692 - I-I just wanted to thank you for choosing us for this honor. 477 00:20:16,759 --> 00:20:18,160 I know I'm not the first guy 478 00:20:18,227 --> 00:20:20,630 most people would pick, but you did and... 479 00:20:20,696 --> 00:20:23,366 and I'll be thankful for the rest of my life. 480 00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:24,834 [snickering] That's all. 481 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:28,237 - Your actions this day will not soon be forgotten. 482 00:20:29,672 --> 00:20:31,240 - Maybe I misjudged you two. 483 00:20:31,307 --> 00:20:32,842 Listen. 484 00:20:33,476 --> 00:20:37,480 This belonged to my grandmother. She used to tell me, 485 00:20:37,547 --> 00:20:39,582 "Keep dreaming your dreams." - Mm-hmm. 486 00:20:39,649 --> 00:20:41,917 - "One day, they might just come true." 487 00:20:41,984 --> 00:20:44,487 - Ha. - I want you to have it. 488 00:20:44,554 --> 00:20:45,955 - Okay. Heh. 489 00:20:46,021 --> 00:20:48,958 - Watch me through the window, doing what I love. 490 00:20:49,024 --> 00:20:50,826 One last time. 491 00:20:50,893 --> 00:20:52,828 My dream's over... - Uh-huh. 492 00:20:52,895 --> 00:20:56,265 - But I hope someday your dream comes true. 493 00:20:57,633 --> 00:21:01,103 I've gotta go put on my suit. 494 00:21:02,071 --> 00:21:05,675 - Whoa, she wants us to watch her change through the window. 495 00:21:05,741 --> 00:21:06,942 Heh heh heh heh. 496 00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:08,544 - Are you sure about that, Butt-Head? 497 00:21:08,611 --> 00:21:10,780 - Of course, dumbass. You heard her. 498 00:21:10,846 --> 00:21:12,314 She said watch me through the window 499 00:21:12,382 --> 00:21:13,616 and your dreams will come true. 500 00:21:13,683 --> 00:21:15,117 - Oh yeah. 501 00:21:15,184 --> 00:21:17,553 - And she gave us this bracelet to seal the deal. 502 00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:20,055 - Yeah. [snickering] 503 00:21:21,957 --> 00:21:24,394 [whoosh] 504 00:21:24,460 --> 00:21:29,665 [snickering over transmitter] 505 00:21:29,732 --> 00:21:31,667 Oh, yeah. Heh. 506 00:21:31,734 --> 00:21:35,204 [soft, emotional music] 507 00:21:35,270 --> 00:21:42,077 * * 508 00:21:44,213 --> 00:21:46,916 [silent snickering] - Are you shitting me? 509 00:21:48,851 --> 00:21:51,887 [dramatic chords] 510 00:21:51,954 --> 00:21:55,425 Okay. I've had enough of these dickheads. 511 00:21:55,491 --> 00:21:58,594 [mechanical whirring] 512 00:22:02,565 --> 00:22:03,833 [whack] 513 00:22:03,899 --> 00:22:06,569 - Enjoy space. 514 00:22:06,636 --> 00:22:08,237 - Now that I'm about to be captain, 515 00:22:08,303 --> 00:22:10,873 things are gonna be a little different around here. 516 00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:12,908 First of all--oh. Hello! 517 00:22:12,975 --> 00:22:15,678 - I have some extremely distressing news to share. 518 00:22:15,745 --> 00:22:17,813 Specialist Beavis and Specialist Butt-Head 519 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,849 made the very brave and noble decision 520 00:22:19,915 --> 00:22:22,017 to sacrifice themselves. 521 00:22:22,084 --> 00:22:25,788 - Oh, that's awful. - What a tragedy. 522 00:22:25,855 --> 00:22:28,658 - So, no reason for me to volunteer, then? 523 00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:30,426 Okay. 524 00:22:30,493 --> 00:22:33,162 Just so we're clear, then... I un-volunteer. 525 00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:35,264 I did volunteer, you know. For the record. 526 00:22:35,330 --> 00:22:36,766 You can tell people. 527 00:22:36,832 --> 00:22:41,637 [boys continue snickering] 528 00:22:41,704 --> 00:22:43,338 [thud] - Aah! 529 00:22:43,405 --> 00:22:45,340 - Aah! - Ohh-- 530 00:22:45,407 --> 00:22:47,943 - Believe me, I tried to talk them out of it. 531 00:22:48,010 --> 00:22:50,212 But they felt it was the right thing to do, 532 00:22:50,279 --> 00:22:53,248 and they left the airlock before I could stop them. 533 00:22:53,315 --> 00:22:55,785 - Oh, no-- - But while their tragically, 534 00:22:55,851 --> 00:22:58,187 brief lives may be over, 535 00:22:58,253 --> 00:23:00,990 they will live forever in our memories. 536 00:23:01,056 --> 00:23:04,527 [snickering over radio] 537 00:23:04,594 --> 00:23:07,296 Yeah. [snickering] 538 00:23:15,437 --> 00:23:18,173 - The elaborate dance of seduction continues. 539 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,276 - Yeah, she really knows how to build the anticipation. 540 00:23:21,343 --> 00:23:23,579 You know what I'm saying? 541 00:23:23,646 --> 00:23:26,582 Whoa! Um, Butt-Head? 542 00:23:26,649 --> 00:23:27,950 What is that thing? 543 00:23:28,017 --> 00:23:31,286 It feels like sucking us in or something. 544 00:23:31,353 --> 00:23:35,257 - Uh...it looks like some kind of gigantic hole. 545 00:23:35,324 --> 00:23:39,261 And it's black. Wait a minute, Beavis. 546 00:23:39,328 --> 00:23:41,096 I think I know what kind of hole this is. 547 00:23:41,163 --> 00:23:42,832 - Really? 548 00:23:42,898 --> 00:23:44,266 - It's a butthole. [snickers] 549 00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:47,002 - No, no, no. No way. No thanks. 550 00:23:47,069 --> 00:23:49,338 I don't want to die in a butthole! 551 00:23:49,404 --> 00:23:53,676 I have dreams about it all the time--no! No way! 552 00:23:53,743 --> 00:23:55,645 - Settle down, Beavis. - Uh-oh-ahh! 553 00:23:55,711 --> 00:23:58,447 [screams echo] 554 00:24:03,786 --> 00:24:06,856 - Aah! - Aah! 555 00:24:14,463 --> 00:24:17,933 [eerie music] 556 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,970 [both coughing] 557 00:24:24,473 --> 00:24:25,808 - Umm, Butt-Head. 558 00:24:25,875 --> 00:24:27,442 Where are we? 559 00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:32,615 - Uh...I don't know. - Are we still in space? 560 00:24:32,682 --> 00:24:35,484 - Whoa, Beavis. You're not gonna believe this. 561 00:24:35,551 --> 00:24:38,520 Look at that number, up there on the billboard. 562 00:24:38,588 --> 00:24:39,822 - Let's see, um--heh. 563 00:24:39,889 --> 00:24:43,158 There's a two. And then, um, some kind of circle. 564 00:24:43,225 --> 00:24:44,760 And I don't know what that is, 565 00:24:44,827 --> 00:24:46,128 I've never seen one of those before. 566 00:24:46,195 --> 00:24:47,763 - No, dumbass. Not that number. 567 00:24:47,830 --> 00:24:49,498 That one. 568 00:24:49,565 --> 00:24:51,166 69. 569 00:24:51,233 --> 00:24:54,203 [snickers] 570 00:24:54,269 --> 00:24:58,473 - Um, so anyway, um, are we still in space, though? 571 00:24:58,540 --> 00:24:59,909 [snickers] 572 00:24:59,975 --> 00:25:04,179 - Whoa, Beavis. Look, it's Serena. 573 00:25:04,246 --> 00:25:06,115 - Whoa! 574 00:25:06,181 --> 00:25:08,383 - I guess she like made a big sign so we'd remember 575 00:25:08,450 --> 00:25:10,419 we're supposed to score with her. 576 00:25:10,485 --> 00:25:11,721 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 577 00:25:11,787 --> 00:25:13,589 You know, that's really thoughtful of her, 578 00:25:13,656 --> 00:25:15,891 she's a really nice lady. 579 00:25:15,958 --> 00:25:17,860 - Well, let's go do her. 580 00:25:17,927 --> 00:25:20,996 [military drums] 581 00:25:21,063 --> 00:25:24,266 * * 582 00:25:24,333 --> 00:25:27,637 - The missing nuke is somewhere here in the Caucasus Mountains. 583 00:25:27,703 --> 00:25:29,839 It is our nation's highest priority to find it. 584 00:25:29,905 --> 00:25:31,941 - It's happened. 585 00:25:32,007 --> 00:25:34,143 - Excuse me. 586 00:25:34,910 --> 00:25:37,512 - We've detected a major space-time breach 587 00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:38,881 in American airspace. 588 00:25:38,948 --> 00:25:40,716 - My God. 589 00:25:40,783 --> 00:25:42,584 - And something came through it-- 590 00:25:42,652 --> 00:25:44,253 two lifeforms. 591 00:25:44,319 --> 00:25:47,322 - Who could it be? The Chinese...Russia? 592 00:25:47,389 --> 00:25:49,124 - Or aliens. 593 00:25:49,191 --> 00:25:51,727 - This is why we needed that space telescope 594 00:25:51,794 --> 00:25:54,529 to observe the black hole in '98--damn it! 595 00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:55,765 Whatever they are, 596 00:25:55,831 --> 00:25:57,833 we need to get down there and find them. 597 00:25:57,900 --> 00:25:59,635 - And dissect them. 598 00:25:59,702 --> 00:26:03,038 - Get Alpha Team on the plane. We're wheels up in five minutes. 599 00:26:03,105 --> 00:26:06,942 [dramatic music] 600 00:26:07,009 --> 00:26:10,345 [eerie music] 601 00:26:10,412 --> 00:26:13,515 * * 602 00:26:13,582 --> 00:26:15,017 - That's better. 603 00:26:15,084 --> 00:26:17,319 - You can't score with these things on. 604 00:26:20,055 --> 00:26:21,891 - Greetings, Beavis and Butt-Head. 605 00:26:21,957 --> 00:26:24,193 - We bring you a grave warning. 606 00:26:24,259 --> 00:26:28,563 - Uh...who are you fart knockers? 607 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:31,100 - We are you, from what your primitive planet 608 00:26:31,166 --> 00:26:33,135 would call an "alternate universe." 609 00:26:33,202 --> 00:26:35,504 - A what? - An alternate universe. 610 00:26:35,570 --> 00:26:38,473 - Uh...a what? 611 00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:42,678 - Um, did you see the cartoon Spider-Man movie, per chance? 612 00:26:42,745 --> 00:26:45,080 - Uh...no. - Oh. 613 00:26:45,147 --> 00:26:47,649 That would have made explaining it a lot easier. 614 00:26:47,717 --> 00:26:50,352 - Our names are unknowable to your puny brains. 615 00:26:50,419 --> 00:26:52,454 But you may call us Smart Beavis 616 00:26:52,521 --> 00:26:54,023 and Smart Butt-Head. 617 00:26:54,089 --> 00:26:55,725 - You see, in infinite universes, 618 00:26:55,791 --> 00:26:58,293 there are infinite iterations of every person. 619 00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:01,130 Every possible version of you exists, 620 00:27:01,196 --> 00:27:04,399 and we are the most intelligent versions. 621 00:27:04,466 --> 00:27:08,203 - Uh...did any of the other versions ever score? 622 00:27:08,270 --> 00:27:09,671 - No. [dramatic chord] 623 00:27:09,739 --> 00:27:12,474 No version of Beavis and Butt-Head has ever scored. 624 00:27:12,541 --> 00:27:15,310 - That is true in every reality. 625 00:27:15,377 --> 00:27:16,779 - Cool. 626 00:27:16,846 --> 00:27:18,680 We're gonna be the first ones. 627 00:27:18,748 --> 00:27:20,049 - Oh, yeah. 628 00:27:20,115 --> 00:27:21,450 - Humorous, quite humorous. Yes. 629 00:27:21,516 --> 00:27:23,552 - Droll, very droll, yes. Whimsical. 630 00:27:23,618 --> 00:27:26,421 - That is amusing, yes. Quite jocular, yes. 631 00:27:26,488 --> 00:27:28,257 - Mirthful, yes. [boys snickering] 632 00:27:28,323 --> 00:27:30,225 - Okay, that's enough frivolity. 633 00:27:30,292 --> 00:27:31,727 When you went through the black hole, 634 00:27:31,794 --> 00:27:33,896 you traveled through a five-dimensional portal 635 00:27:33,963 --> 00:27:35,464 in space and time. 636 00:27:35,530 --> 00:27:36,732 - But in so doing, 637 00:27:36,799 --> 00:27:38,968 you damaged the delicate structure of the cosmos. 638 00:27:39,034 --> 00:27:40,903 - Damage is cool. 639 00:27:40,970 --> 00:27:42,772 - And now, both of our universes 640 00:27:42,838 --> 00:27:44,774 face total destruction. 641 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,809 - And so we come to you for help. 642 00:27:46,876 --> 00:27:48,277 - There's a space-time portal 643 00:27:48,343 --> 00:27:49,979 that will return you to your time. 644 00:27:50,045 --> 00:27:53,448 - You must enter this portal before it closes in two days, 645 00:27:53,515 --> 00:27:57,386 or everything you have ever known will be gone forever. 646 00:27:57,452 --> 00:27:59,488 - The portal is located on the highest point 647 00:27:59,554 --> 00:28:02,591 on your planet, atop your "Mount Everest." 648 00:28:02,657 --> 00:28:04,293 - This is your quest. 649 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,728 - You have exactly two days. 650 00:28:06,796 --> 00:28:08,297 May science be with you. 651 00:28:08,363 --> 00:28:10,966 - You said "mount," Smart Beavis. 652 00:28:11,033 --> 00:28:12,301 - Yes, their primitive language 653 00:28:12,367 --> 00:28:14,103 has two meanings for that word, yes. 654 00:28:14,169 --> 00:28:15,270 - Humorous, quite jocular. 655 00:28:15,337 --> 00:28:17,539 - Very droll and whimsical, yes, yes. 656 00:28:19,441 --> 00:28:22,111 - What did they say? - Uhh. I don't know. 657 00:28:22,177 --> 00:28:25,714 I think they were like British or something. 658 00:28:25,781 --> 00:28:27,616 Okay, now let's go score. 659 00:28:27,682 --> 00:28:29,184 [snickering] 660 00:28:30,185 --> 00:28:31,987 - Um, we're here for Serena. 661 00:28:32,054 --> 00:28:33,889 - She probably told you about us. 662 00:28:33,956 --> 00:28:35,724 So if you can just like, you know, 663 00:28:35,791 --> 00:28:37,726 tell her we're ready to get down with it. 664 00:28:37,793 --> 00:28:38,994 Heh heh heh heh. 665 00:28:39,061 --> 00:28:41,030 - Okay, so you want to volunteer? 666 00:28:41,096 --> 00:28:43,833 Maybe do some canvassing for Serena? 667 00:28:43,899 --> 00:28:45,534 - Canvassing? 668 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,436 We've never done this before, so like, 669 00:28:47,502 --> 00:28:49,738 maybe just, you know, the regular way. 670 00:28:49,805 --> 00:28:51,740 - I wanna volunteer my wiener. 671 00:28:51,807 --> 00:28:53,142 [snickering] 672 00:28:53,208 --> 00:28:55,144 - Why don't we just step over here 673 00:28:55,210 --> 00:28:56,879 so we can get a picture of you two. 674 00:28:56,946 --> 00:28:58,881 - Do we need to, like, take our clothes off or something? 675 00:28:58,948 --> 00:29:00,015 - Yeah. 676 00:29:00,082 --> 00:29:01,650 - We're gonna score! 677 00:29:01,716 --> 00:29:02,818 [camera lens clicks] 678 00:29:02,885 --> 00:29:04,686 * * 679 00:29:04,753 --> 00:29:06,621 - Oh, these polls are horseshit. 680 00:29:06,688 --> 00:29:08,924 Can you remind me why I'm paying you 681 00:29:08,991 --> 00:29:10,592 to get me re-elected governor? 682 00:29:10,659 --> 00:29:13,728 - And me re-elected lieutenant governor, which is also-- 683 00:29:13,795 --> 00:29:15,597 - Well, Governor, our new strategy is youth outreach. 684 00:29:15,664 --> 00:29:17,132 - Youth outreach. - Our campaign teams 685 00:29:17,199 --> 00:29:18,433 have been recruiting young volunteers 686 00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:19,768 to use for a new ad campaign. 687 00:29:19,835 --> 00:29:22,004 We brought some pictures for you to look at. 688 00:29:22,071 --> 00:29:23,906 - Pictures, okay. - No, no. 689 00:29:23,973 --> 00:29:25,640 Loser. Eww. 690 00:29:25,707 --> 00:29:27,709 No. 691 00:29:27,776 --> 00:29:30,612 [dramatic chords] 692 00:29:30,679 --> 00:29:32,581 Clear the room. 693 00:29:35,417 --> 00:29:37,352 - I'm assuming you wanted me to stay, 694 00:29:37,419 --> 00:29:38,720 because I'm second in command. 695 00:29:38,787 --> 00:29:40,255 - Look at this. 696 00:29:40,322 --> 00:29:42,191 They look exactly like those kids I killed 697 00:29:42,257 --> 00:29:43,758 on the mission in '98. 698 00:29:43,825 --> 00:29:45,794 - Wow. They really do. 699 00:29:45,861 --> 00:29:48,297 But they can't be the same kids--that's impossible. 700 00:29:48,363 --> 00:29:51,466 - It's them. I know it. 701 00:29:51,533 --> 00:29:55,871 I spent three weeks stranded in space because of those two, 702 00:29:55,938 --> 00:29:57,672 certain I would die. 703 00:29:57,739 --> 00:29:59,641 Drinking my own urine. 704 00:29:59,708 --> 00:30:02,244 We had to eat flight specialist Jung. 705 00:30:02,311 --> 00:30:04,313 - Yeah, I didn't actually get to eat any-- 706 00:30:04,379 --> 00:30:05,580 - And then 24 years 707 00:30:05,647 --> 00:30:07,449 haunted that I had killed two people, 708 00:30:07,516 --> 00:30:09,718 that the world would find out what I'd done. 709 00:30:09,784 --> 00:30:11,820 - Yes, sometimes I wish I didn't know that 710 00:30:11,887 --> 00:30:13,923 because it sorta puts me in a tricky position 711 00:30:13,989 --> 00:30:15,390 going-to-jail-wise. 712 00:30:15,457 --> 00:30:17,392 - They must have fallen into the black hole somehow. 713 00:30:17,459 --> 00:30:19,929 Traveled through an Einstein-Rosen wormhole. 714 00:30:19,995 --> 00:30:21,796 - That's amazing. 715 00:30:21,863 --> 00:30:23,465 I mean, we have to tell the scientific community-- 716 00:30:23,532 --> 00:30:25,935 - We have to kill them before they tell everyone what I did. 717 00:30:26,001 --> 00:30:28,303 - Right kill them. Yep. Mm-hmm, no, that's what I meant. 718 00:30:28,370 --> 00:30:29,538 That's yeah, okay, good. 719 00:30:29,604 --> 00:30:30,872 - I just hope we're not too late. 720 00:30:30,940 --> 00:30:32,174 Get the helicopter. 721 00:30:32,241 --> 00:30:34,243 Tell them I'm gonna go visit some sick-- 722 00:30:34,309 --> 00:30:37,312 I don't know-- veterans or dogs. 723 00:30:37,379 --> 00:30:39,581 - Why wasn't she there, Butt-Head? 724 00:30:39,648 --> 00:30:41,283 Why would she put up a big picture 725 00:30:41,350 --> 00:30:43,252 of herself and then not be there? 726 00:30:43,318 --> 00:30:45,854 - Uh...it's a little game she's playing. 727 00:30:45,921 --> 00:30:48,090 She wants us to chase her. 728 00:30:48,157 --> 00:30:51,126 - Oh yeah. Here we come. 729 00:30:51,193 --> 00:30:53,428 - Excuse me. Excuse me. 730 00:30:53,495 --> 00:30:55,864 Please would you to take this? 731 00:30:55,931 --> 00:30:58,033 - Uh, take it? - Yes. 732 00:30:58,100 --> 00:30:59,368 - Okay. 733 00:30:59,434 --> 00:31:04,239 - No, you hold like this and look here. 734 00:31:04,306 --> 00:31:06,808 - Whoa. Check it out, Beavis. 735 00:31:06,875 --> 00:31:09,778 That guy just gave us a cool little TV. 736 00:31:09,844 --> 00:31:12,847 - Heh. Do you have any bigger TVs? 737 00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:15,784 - Uh, this show sucks. 738 00:31:15,850 --> 00:31:18,787 It's like just these fat people standing there. 739 00:31:18,853 --> 00:31:21,690 - I don't know, Butt-Head. It's not that bad. Heh heh. 740 00:31:21,756 --> 00:31:23,192 - Is good? 741 00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:24,759 Should we back up? 742 00:31:24,826 --> 00:31:27,062 - Uh, Okay. 743 00:31:27,129 --> 00:31:29,564 - Like this or more backing up? 744 00:31:29,631 --> 00:31:31,166 - Uh... 745 00:31:31,233 --> 00:31:33,102 We're trying to watch TV. 746 00:31:33,168 --> 00:31:36,338 - Like thi--ahh! 747 00:31:36,405 --> 00:31:40,575 [both snickering] 748 00:31:40,642 --> 00:31:42,111 - That was cool. 749 00:31:42,177 --> 00:31:44,446 - Yeah, it's like the show really found itself, you know. 750 00:31:44,513 --> 00:31:47,316 Glad we stuck with it. 751 00:31:50,519 --> 00:31:53,888 - Uh, we want some nachos, but we don't have any money. 752 00:31:53,955 --> 00:31:56,258 - So why don't you just pay with your phone? 753 00:31:56,325 --> 00:31:58,660 - Uh...you mean this thing? 754 00:31:58,727 --> 00:32:01,263 - Here. I'll show you, what's your password? 755 00:32:01,330 --> 00:32:03,999 - Ehh, password? 756 00:32:04,066 --> 00:32:06,835 - Your password is password. 757 00:32:06,901 --> 00:32:10,072 That's original. 758 00:32:10,539 --> 00:32:14,509 - Whoa, we just paid for that with this? 759 00:32:14,576 --> 00:32:16,378 - Yeah, you can pay for anything with your phone. 760 00:32:16,445 --> 00:32:18,780 - Whoa. Anything? 761 00:32:18,847 --> 00:32:21,583 - That's right. Anything at all. 762 00:32:21,650 --> 00:32:24,519 - Beavis, this changes everything. 763 00:32:24,586 --> 00:32:26,621 [Fat Joe's "Make it Rain"] 764 00:32:26,688 --> 00:32:28,090 - * Shit, Scottie, shit * 765 00:32:28,157 --> 00:32:30,125 * Let's make it rain on these niggas * 766 00:32:30,192 --> 00:32:32,127 * * 767 00:32:32,194 --> 00:32:34,396 * Yeah, I'm in this business of terror * 768 00:32:34,463 --> 00:32:37,532 * Got a handful of stacks, better grab an umbrella * 769 00:32:37,599 --> 00:32:39,101 * I make it rain, I make it rain * 770 00:32:39,168 --> 00:32:40,802 * I'm in this business of terror * 771 00:32:40,869 --> 00:32:42,804 * Got a handful of stacks * 772 00:32:42,871 --> 00:32:44,339 * Better grab an umbrella * 773 00:32:44,406 --> 00:32:45,640 * I make it rain, I make it rain * 774 00:32:45,707 --> 00:32:47,309 * Make it rain on them hos * 775 00:32:47,376 --> 00:32:49,044 * I make it rain, I make it rain * 776 00:32:49,111 --> 00:32:51,280 * I make it rain on them hos, I make it rain * 777 00:32:51,346 --> 00:32:53,615 * I make it rain, I make it rain on them hos * 778 00:32:53,682 --> 00:32:55,550 * I make it rain, I make it rain * 779 00:32:55,617 --> 00:32:57,152 * I make it rain on them hos * 780 00:32:57,219 --> 00:32:59,721 * Cr-cr-crack crack crack crack crack * 781 00:32:59,788 --> 00:33:01,156 * You hear the echo * 782 00:33:01,223 --> 00:33:02,591 * Man, I seen the best go * 783 00:33:02,657 --> 00:33:04,059 * Cuz he ain't had that metal * 784 00:33:04,126 --> 00:33:05,760 * I'm a hustla hustla * 785 00:33:05,827 --> 00:33:07,396 * A pusher's pusher * [commotion] 786 00:33:07,462 --> 00:33:09,131 - Ugh! - * You busta customer * 787 00:33:09,198 --> 00:33:10,565 * I get you sum cooka * 788 00:33:10,632 --> 00:33:12,267 * Yeah, crack is a chemist * 789 00:33:12,334 --> 00:33:14,002 * I pack an 11 * 790 00:33:14,069 --> 00:33:15,537 * I'm mackin' a 7 * 791 00:33:15,604 --> 00:33:17,306 * I clap at your reverend * 792 00:33:17,372 --> 00:33:18,707 * I'll see you in NY * 793 00:33:18,773 --> 00:33:20,142 * I'll send you an invite... * 794 00:33:20,209 --> 00:33:21,376 [snickering, slurping slushie] 795 00:33:21,443 --> 00:33:23,845 [dramatic musical sting] 796 00:33:23,912 --> 00:33:26,681 - Sir, based on eyewitness interviews, 797 00:33:26,748 --> 00:33:28,783 we've made a composite sketch of the life forms. 798 00:33:30,852 --> 00:33:33,888 - Whatever they are, they're definitely not human. 799 00:33:36,758 --> 00:33:40,662 - Uh, send up 100 more orders of nachos. 800 00:33:40,729 --> 00:33:44,032 - Hey Butt-Head, this phone kicks ass and everything. 801 00:33:44,099 --> 00:33:45,967 But we need to find Serena. 802 00:33:46,034 --> 00:33:47,569 - Shut up, Beavis. 803 00:33:47,636 --> 00:33:49,438 I'm speaking with the nacho man. 804 00:33:49,504 --> 00:33:50,839 [snickers] 805 00:33:50,905 --> 00:33:53,575 You see what I have to deal with? 806 00:33:53,642 --> 00:33:56,511 - Hey, seriously. Siri: How can I help you? 807 00:33:56,578 --> 00:33:59,414 - Whoa, um, who is this? 808 00:33:59,481 --> 00:34:01,683 - I'm Siri. I'm here to help. 809 00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:03,452 - It's Serena. Hey Butt-Head. 810 00:34:03,518 --> 00:34:04,453 Butt-Head! - Damn it, Beavis, 811 00:34:04,519 --> 00:34:06,721 I told you to shut up. 812 00:34:06,788 --> 00:34:11,426 Do those nachos come with side orders of nachos? 813 00:34:11,493 --> 00:34:13,595 - Hey, hello. 814 00:34:13,662 --> 00:34:16,665 - How can I help you? - Hey, how's it going? Yeah. 815 00:34:16,731 --> 00:34:18,667 Good to talk to you. Yeah. 816 00:34:18,733 --> 00:34:21,836 So, um, I was wondering, um, you know, like, um, 817 00:34:21,903 --> 00:34:24,206 when we're going to score you know? 818 00:34:24,273 --> 00:34:27,442 - Notre Dame is losing to Alabama 7 to 0. 819 00:34:27,509 --> 00:34:29,144 - Yeah, that's interesting. 820 00:34:29,211 --> 00:34:31,946 Um, so um, I know you probably like Butt-Head more, 821 00:34:32,013 --> 00:34:34,583 but I was thinking-- - I don't understand Butt-Head. 822 00:34:34,649 --> 00:34:36,718 - Yeah, me neither. 823 00:34:36,785 --> 00:34:38,987 Like, he thinks he can tell me what to do, 824 00:34:39,053 --> 00:34:41,623 and he's always trying to kick my ass for no reason. 825 00:34:41,690 --> 00:34:43,325 And it just gets old after a while. 826 00:34:43,392 --> 00:34:45,327 You know? I'm tired of it. 827 00:34:45,394 --> 00:34:47,462 - How can I help you? 828 00:34:47,529 --> 00:34:49,964 - Oh, just you know, like, listening you know, 829 00:34:50,031 --> 00:34:51,633 helps a lot. 830 00:34:51,700 --> 00:34:53,268 I guess I never really had anybody, you know, like to 831 00:34:53,335 --> 00:34:56,205 actually listen like when I'm talking and stuff, you know? 832 00:34:56,271 --> 00:34:57,372 Heh heh heh. 833 00:34:57,439 --> 00:34:59,574 Like nobody hears the real Beavis. 834 00:34:59,641 --> 00:35:01,476 You know what I'm saying? 835 00:35:01,543 --> 00:35:03,412 - I don't understand Beavis. 836 00:35:03,478 --> 00:35:05,347 - You know, neither do I sometimes. 837 00:35:05,414 --> 00:35:08,950 Yeah. Neither do I. [giggling] 838 00:35:09,017 --> 00:35:11,553 - And don't skimp on the nacho cheese sauce, 839 00:35:11,620 --> 00:35:13,322 or I'm talking to the manager. 840 00:35:13,388 --> 00:35:15,290 Ugh. 841 00:35:15,357 --> 00:35:18,860 Beavis? Beavis? 842 00:35:18,927 --> 00:35:21,095 - You know, it's like sometimes when I talk to you, 843 00:35:21,162 --> 00:35:23,565 you know, I have this like strange feeling. 844 00:35:23,632 --> 00:35:26,735 It's like I'm happy and sad at the same time. 845 00:35:26,801 --> 00:35:28,437 I don't know what it means. 846 00:35:28,503 --> 00:35:30,539 - Do you want me to search the web? 847 00:35:30,605 --> 00:35:34,409 - Yeah, spider webs kick ass. Yeah. 848 00:35:34,476 --> 00:35:36,811 Maybe we can search for some. Yeah. 849 00:35:36,878 --> 00:35:39,414 - A spider web is a structure created by a spider 850 00:35:39,481 --> 00:35:41,216 out of proteinaceous spider silk. 851 00:35:41,283 --> 00:35:42,551 - [sighs] 852 00:35:42,617 --> 00:35:45,554 It feels good to talk. 853 00:35:45,620 --> 00:35:48,056 - Open the door, butthole. 854 00:35:48,122 --> 00:35:50,792 - I don't understand butthole. - Leave us alone! 855 00:35:50,859 --> 00:35:52,527 - Damn it, Beavis, are you talking to Serena? 856 00:35:52,594 --> 00:35:54,128 Unlock the door now! 857 00:35:54,195 --> 00:35:55,864 - I can't unlock the door. 858 00:35:55,930 --> 00:35:57,899 First you need to set up the Home app. 859 00:35:57,966 --> 00:35:59,668 Would you like me to help you set up your home? 860 00:35:59,734 --> 00:36:02,337 - Wait a minute. You're in our home? 861 00:36:02,404 --> 00:36:05,307 - Would you like me to help you set up your home? 862 00:36:05,374 --> 00:36:07,576 - Butt-Head, she's at the house! 863 00:36:07,642 --> 00:36:10,645 We need to go home right now so we can score. 864 00:36:10,712 --> 00:36:14,983 - Notre Dame is losing to Alabama 17-10. 865 00:36:15,484 --> 00:36:19,488 Walking directions to 322 Woodson St., Highland, Texas. 866 00:36:19,554 --> 00:36:21,490 - [snickers] 867 00:36:21,556 --> 00:36:24,593 Wood. [both giggling] 868 00:36:24,659 --> 00:36:27,128 - Your trip will take 167 hours. 869 00:36:27,195 --> 00:36:30,665 - We'll be there before sunset, Beavis. 870 00:36:35,370 --> 00:36:37,639 - We just missed them, sir. 871 00:36:40,241 --> 00:36:42,411 - They wanted us to find this. 872 00:36:42,477 --> 00:36:44,513 [Geiger counter ticks] 873 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,617 - Definitely not human. 874 00:36:48,683 --> 00:36:50,051 - They paid for the room with a phone, 875 00:36:50,118 --> 00:36:52,554 so we were able to get a recording of their voices. 876 00:36:52,621 --> 00:36:55,690 - Woodson. [snickers] 877 00:36:55,757 --> 00:36:58,560 You have wood, son. 878 00:36:58,627 --> 00:36:59,994 Boing. [laughing] 879 00:37:00,061 --> 00:37:01,863 - It's crude, but they're learning 880 00:37:01,930 --> 00:37:03,765 to approximate human speech. 881 00:37:03,832 --> 00:37:06,735 I'll know more when I dissect their mouthparts. 882 00:37:06,801 --> 00:37:08,136 - We've got GPS lock on the phone. 883 00:37:08,202 --> 00:37:09,137 - Let's move. 884 00:37:09,203 --> 00:37:11,139 - Governor, oh, my gosh, 885 00:37:11,205 --> 00:37:13,375 I can't believe I finally get to meet you. 886 00:37:13,442 --> 00:37:14,776 - And I'm the lieuten-- 887 00:37:14,843 --> 00:37:17,245 - I'm just so interested in all my young supporters, 888 00:37:17,312 --> 00:37:19,614 but particularly these two. 889 00:37:19,681 --> 00:37:21,483 - Oh, them. 890 00:37:21,550 --> 00:37:23,485 - Did they say anything about me? 891 00:37:23,552 --> 00:37:25,820 Or tell you why they were here? 892 00:37:25,887 --> 00:37:28,189 - No. Mostly they just laughed a lot. 893 00:37:28,256 --> 00:37:30,359 From the minute I introduced myself. 894 00:37:30,425 --> 00:37:32,561 - Introduced yourself? 895 00:37:32,627 --> 00:37:34,329 What's your name? 896 00:37:34,396 --> 00:37:35,530 - I'm Richard Whack. 897 00:37:35,597 --> 00:37:38,199 [dramatic music] - Dick Whack. 898 00:37:38,266 --> 00:37:40,702 - Well, I've always gone by Richard for that very rea-- 899 00:37:40,769 --> 00:37:43,104 - It really is them. - Damm it. 900 00:37:43,171 --> 00:37:46,040 Order a roadblock on all roads leading out of town. 901 00:37:46,107 --> 00:37:47,876 Say it's--do people still care about terrorism? 902 00:37:47,942 --> 00:37:50,244 - I do, Governor. - Let's go with that. 903 00:37:50,311 --> 00:37:52,280 - And so does the whole Whack family. 904 00:37:52,347 --> 00:37:55,316 - Um, Butt-Head, um, I was wondering something, um... 905 00:37:55,384 --> 00:37:57,686 I had a conversation with this chick one time. 906 00:37:57,752 --> 00:38:00,121 And so, um, I was wondering, um, 907 00:38:00,188 --> 00:38:03,291 how do you know when you're like, in love? 908 00:38:03,358 --> 00:38:04,826 You know, what I'm saying? 909 00:38:04,893 --> 00:38:07,161 - What wuss-ass thing did you just say, Beavis? 910 00:38:07,228 --> 00:38:09,163 - Uh, never mind, never mind. [snickers] 911 00:38:09,230 --> 00:38:11,099 I'm just gonna take a whiz, Butt-Head. 912 00:38:11,165 --> 00:38:13,067 I'll just go ahead and get that from you. 913 00:38:13,134 --> 00:38:15,303 Be right back. - Uh, okay. 914 00:38:15,370 --> 00:38:17,572 - Hey, Serena. How's it going? 915 00:38:17,639 --> 00:38:19,474 [phone chimes] - I'm happy to be here. 916 00:38:19,541 --> 00:38:22,310 - It's good to hear your voice. 917 00:38:22,377 --> 00:38:23,745 - I can't change my voice. 918 00:38:23,812 --> 00:38:25,514 But you can do it yourself in settings. 919 00:38:25,580 --> 00:38:27,916 - Oh, no, no, no, I like your voice. 920 00:38:27,982 --> 00:38:31,185 I just want to say, you know, like, um, 921 00:38:31,252 --> 00:38:33,422 we were eating some nachos, you know? 922 00:38:33,488 --> 00:38:35,490 And I love nachos, you know? 923 00:38:35,557 --> 00:38:38,326 And then, um, and then I was thinking about you and me. 924 00:38:38,393 --> 00:38:42,263 And I just want to say that I also love, um, 925 00:38:42,330 --> 00:38:44,098 I mean-- 926 00:38:44,165 --> 00:38:46,300 - I didn't get that. Could you try again? 927 00:38:46,367 --> 00:38:48,369 - You know what I'm talking about though, right? 928 00:38:48,437 --> 00:38:52,040 You know, it's a word that starts with an L, I think, 929 00:38:52,106 --> 00:38:55,644 or something, I mean, maybe you could say it first. 930 00:38:55,710 --> 00:38:57,211 I mean, you know, if you want to. 931 00:38:57,278 --> 00:38:58,847 [snickers] 932 00:38:58,913 --> 00:39:01,282 - Sorry, I'm having trouble connecting to the network. 933 00:39:01,349 --> 00:39:04,218 - Uh-huh. And? And? 934 00:39:04,285 --> 00:39:05,720 [banging on door] - Damn it, Beavis. 935 00:39:05,787 --> 00:39:07,789 You better not be talking to Serena in there. 936 00:39:07,856 --> 00:39:10,291 - No, no, I'm just spanking my monkey. 937 00:39:10,358 --> 00:39:11,826 - You better be. 938 00:39:11,893 --> 00:39:13,928 - I don't understand spanking my monkey. 939 00:39:13,995 --> 00:39:17,031 - Damn it, Beavis, you lying son of a bitch. 940 00:39:17,098 --> 00:39:19,000 [grunting] 941 00:39:20,201 --> 00:39:23,204 - Anyway, Serena, I was just gonna say, 942 00:39:23,271 --> 00:39:24,773 and I've never said this 943 00:39:24,839 --> 00:39:27,609 to any girl before but, um... 944 00:39:27,676 --> 00:39:30,311 I--I love-- 945 00:39:32,013 --> 00:39:33,515 - Damn it! - No, no, no. 946 00:39:33,582 --> 00:39:34,549 [splash] 947 00:39:34,616 --> 00:39:36,017 [echoes] No! 948 00:39:36,084 --> 00:39:38,052 - We just lost the phone signal. 949 00:39:38,119 --> 00:39:39,187 - Damn it! 950 00:39:39,253 --> 00:39:41,389 - You dumbass. 951 00:39:41,456 --> 00:39:44,726 Now get it before it gets all covered with turds. 952 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,663 - I don't see it, Butt-Head. Maybe it's deeper in. 953 00:39:48,730 --> 00:39:50,532 If I can just get-- 954 00:39:50,599 --> 00:39:53,134 [screams] Get me out of here! 955 00:39:53,201 --> 00:39:56,437 - Do you see it now? - It stinks! 956 00:39:56,505 --> 00:39:58,973 - Damn it, Beavis, you gotta really get down there. 957 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,175 You're not even trying. - Come on. Help me. 958 00:40:01,242 --> 00:40:04,679 - Uh, okay, Beavis, I'll help you. 959 00:40:04,746 --> 00:40:06,615 Guess I have to do everything myself. 960 00:40:06,681 --> 00:40:07,949 - Get me out of here now! 961 00:40:08,016 --> 00:40:10,919 - Come on, get in there, you lazy son of a bitch. 962 00:40:10,985 --> 00:40:13,254 - There's turds down here! 963 00:40:13,321 --> 00:40:15,890 - I don't care about your turds, Beavis. 964 00:40:15,957 --> 00:40:19,828 Now get down there. We need that phone to score. 965 00:40:19,894 --> 00:40:22,130 - They must have known we were tracking their phone and put it 966 00:40:22,196 --> 00:40:25,567 in some sort of signal blocking device or Faraday cage. 967 00:40:25,634 --> 00:40:27,368 - They've studied our tradecraft. 968 00:40:27,435 --> 00:40:28,903 They're good. 969 00:40:28,970 --> 00:40:31,806 - Aah! Turd! 970 00:40:31,873 --> 00:40:34,709 ["On the Road Again" plays] 971 00:40:34,776 --> 00:40:39,247 [boys continue yelling, grunting] 972 00:40:40,281 --> 00:40:42,050 - Damn it! 973 00:40:42,116 --> 00:40:43,552 - What's rolling around down there? 974 00:40:43,618 --> 00:40:45,286 - Get me outta here! 975 00:40:45,353 --> 00:40:46,655 [continues yelling] 976 00:40:46,721 --> 00:40:47,922 There's turds down here. 977 00:40:47,989 --> 00:40:51,459 * * 978 00:40:51,526 --> 00:40:54,262 - [snoring] 979 00:40:54,328 --> 00:40:57,632 ["On the Road Again" continues] 980 00:40:57,699 --> 00:41:02,170 * * 981 00:41:02,236 --> 00:41:04,005 - * On the road again...* 982 00:41:04,072 --> 00:41:05,807 - Time to wake up, Beavis. 983 00:41:05,874 --> 00:41:07,542 - Ah! Ah! Where am I? 984 00:41:07,609 --> 00:41:11,345 Turds! 985 00:41:20,021 --> 00:41:22,390 If I can...[splashing] I can see it-- 986 00:41:22,456 --> 00:41:23,958 [grunts] I found it! 987 00:41:24,926 --> 00:41:26,995 Damn it, that's not a phone. 988 00:41:27,862 --> 00:41:29,463 - There it is, dumbass. 989 00:41:29,530 --> 00:41:32,100 - Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't see it there. 990 00:41:32,166 --> 00:41:34,102 - You're disgusting, Beavis. 991 00:41:34,168 --> 00:41:36,705 - Your trip to Woodson Street, Highland 992 00:41:36,771 --> 00:41:39,007 will take 274 hours. 993 00:41:39,073 --> 00:41:42,010 - Whoa, she's counting the hours. 994 00:41:42,076 --> 00:41:44,979 Let's get moving, Beavis. [snickers] 995 00:41:45,046 --> 00:41:47,949 [dramatic music] 996 00:41:48,016 --> 00:41:50,719 - Sir, we've got a lock on the phone again. 997 00:41:50,785 --> 00:41:54,789 - Change course to intercept. - We won't lose them this time. 998 00:41:56,625 --> 00:41:59,560 - What is this? Is this college or something? 999 00:41:59,628 --> 00:42:01,129 - It could be. 1000 00:42:01,195 --> 00:42:03,564 Something sucks. - Oh, boy. Heh heh. 1001 00:42:03,632 --> 00:42:06,601 Let's get out of here before we learn something, Butt-Head. 1002 00:42:06,668 --> 00:42:09,237 - Yeah, really. 1003 00:42:09,303 --> 00:42:11,005 [warbling sounds] 1004 00:42:11,072 --> 00:42:13,341 - Beavis, Butt-Head, it is we. 1005 00:42:13,407 --> 00:42:15,610 - We have made the quest easier. 1006 00:42:15,677 --> 00:42:17,511 We have moved the portal. 1007 00:42:17,578 --> 00:42:19,781 - Mount Everest seemed like a good idea at the time 1008 00:42:19,848 --> 00:42:23,918 for its proximity to space, but the trip was a long-y. 1009 00:42:23,985 --> 00:42:26,354 - Are you those guys that are like us 1010 00:42:26,420 --> 00:42:27,622 or something? 1011 00:42:27,689 --> 00:42:29,490 - We've covered this already. 1012 00:42:29,557 --> 00:42:33,027 - The portal is now over there behind the Classics building. 1013 00:42:33,094 --> 00:42:34,996 - It is well hidden there because no one 1014 00:42:35,063 --> 00:42:37,165 cares about the humanities anymore. 1015 00:42:37,231 --> 00:42:39,367 - They want jobs that will allow them to pay off 1016 00:42:39,433 --> 00:42:40,969 their student debt. 1017 00:42:41,035 --> 00:42:42,403 - Amusing, yes. - Yes, humorous, yes. 1018 00:42:42,470 --> 00:42:43,772 - Satirical comment on the times. 1019 00:42:43,838 --> 00:42:44,939 - Yes, amusing. 1020 00:42:45,006 --> 00:42:47,241 - Seek the portal before all is destroyed. 1021 00:42:47,308 --> 00:42:49,277 - The lives of billions depend on it. 1022 00:42:49,343 --> 00:42:51,980 - Hurry, you haven't but much time. 1023 00:42:52,046 --> 00:42:54,749 - [snickers] He said butt munch. 1024 00:42:54,816 --> 00:42:56,651 [both snicker] 1025 00:42:56,718 --> 00:42:58,419 - I did not. 1026 00:42:58,486 --> 00:43:00,188 But I can see how it would it be quite 1027 00:43:00,254 --> 00:43:02,423 humorous if I had-- - Yes, yes humorous. 1028 00:43:02,490 --> 00:43:04,458 - Yes, yes, they do sound similar. 1029 00:43:04,525 --> 00:43:06,427 Amusing and incongruous. 1030 00:43:07,996 --> 00:43:09,864 - Uh, I like those guys. 1031 00:43:09,931 --> 00:43:12,433 - How'd they disappear, though? 1032 00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:14,035 - Uh, who cares? 1033 00:43:14,102 --> 00:43:16,404 Magic sucks. 1034 00:43:18,773 --> 00:43:20,074 - Are you sure about this? 1035 00:43:20,141 --> 00:43:22,076 Feels a little bit like a wild goose chase. 1036 00:43:22,143 --> 00:43:24,245 - Listen, one of our dipshit college 1037 00:43:24,312 --> 00:43:26,580 campaign volunteers had some crazy story about how she 1038 00:43:26,647 --> 00:43:28,582 saw two teenagers coming out of the same 1039 00:43:28,649 --> 00:43:30,084 Porta Potty laughing at nothing, 1040 00:43:30,151 --> 00:43:32,153 and one of them was covered in feces and nacho cheese. 1041 00:43:32,220 --> 00:43:33,688 Who else could it be? 1042 00:43:33,755 --> 00:43:34,856 - Well, when I was in college, 1043 00:43:34,923 --> 00:43:36,691 I did some pretty crazy-- 1044 00:43:36,758 --> 00:43:38,426 - Here's the deal. 1045 00:43:38,492 --> 00:43:41,162 If I don't kill those guys, I'm going to be accused of murder. 1046 00:43:41,229 --> 00:43:43,131 And if I'm gonna be accused of murder, 1047 00:43:43,197 --> 00:43:45,066 I might as well kill those guys. 1048 00:43:45,133 --> 00:43:47,568 So we're going to find them. - Mm-hmm. 1049 00:43:48,870 --> 00:43:52,206 - Let's take a shortcut through this thing. 1050 00:43:52,273 --> 00:43:55,476 - While exaggerating gender norms sometimes winds up 1051 00:43:55,543 --> 00:43:58,546 subverting existing paradigms-- [door clangs loudly] 1052 00:43:58,612 --> 00:44:00,114 - Don't mind us. 1053 00:44:00,181 --> 00:44:02,283 - We just need to get through here so we can score. 1054 00:44:02,350 --> 00:44:05,419 - Yeah. There's a slut at our house who's gonna like 1055 00:44:05,486 --> 00:44:06,654 do it with us. 1056 00:44:06,721 --> 00:44:09,257 Any of you ladies want to join the party? 1057 00:44:09,323 --> 00:44:12,260 [students chatter in disgust] 1058 00:44:12,326 --> 00:44:14,929 - Hang on, everyone. Hang on. 1059 00:44:14,996 --> 00:44:16,965 This is teachable, okay? 1060 00:44:17,031 --> 00:44:18,566 Now, they use the word "slut" 1061 00:44:18,632 --> 00:44:21,502 in a sex positive way, which is a good thing. 1062 00:44:21,569 --> 00:44:24,672 But other than that, these two are a reminder 1063 00:44:24,739 --> 00:44:28,276 that we still have a long, hard road ahead of us. 1064 00:44:28,342 --> 00:44:30,644 - [snickers] Long, hard. 1065 00:44:30,711 --> 00:44:32,213 [both snicker] 1066 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,648 - Yeah, like a wiener, or a schlong. 1067 00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:35,984 You know, get it? [snickers] 1068 00:44:36,050 --> 00:44:37,618 - Uh-huh. 1069 00:44:37,685 --> 00:44:40,421 Why don't we start by having you two tell us what you thought 1070 00:44:40,488 --> 00:44:43,057 of the reading assignments for today? 1071 00:44:43,124 --> 00:44:45,693 - Uh, we don't really read stuff. 1072 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,329 - Of course not, because you don't need to. 1073 00:44:48,396 --> 00:44:50,631 Because Daddy's connections got you into college 1074 00:44:50,698 --> 00:44:52,967 and will get you a job on Wall Street. 1075 00:44:53,034 --> 00:44:55,169 - Uh, wait a minute. 1076 00:44:55,236 --> 00:44:57,638 Do you know who my dad is? 1077 00:44:57,705 --> 00:45:00,474 - I'm sure he's very powerful and can have me fired. 1078 00:45:00,541 --> 00:45:02,043 But I don't care. 1079 00:45:02,110 --> 00:45:05,079 - Cool. My dad's powerful. 1080 00:45:05,146 --> 00:45:06,547 - Oh, that's cool. Yeah. [snickers] 1081 00:45:06,614 --> 00:45:08,682 Because Butt-Head's mom said he died of syphilis. 1082 00:45:08,749 --> 00:45:10,084 Wow. [snickers] 1083 00:45:10,151 --> 00:45:13,221 - This is a classic example of white privilege. 1084 00:45:13,287 --> 00:45:15,089 And you both have it. 1085 00:45:15,156 --> 00:45:18,026 - Uh, what's that? 1086 00:45:18,092 --> 00:45:19,794 - Anyone want to fill them in? 1087 00:45:19,861 --> 00:45:21,262 - Yeah, I'll do it. 1088 00:45:21,329 --> 00:45:23,264 Okay. So, white privilege 1089 00:45:23,331 --> 00:45:24,866 is when white people, particularly men, 1090 00:45:24,933 --> 00:45:27,535 automatically assume they can take whatever they want. 1091 00:45:27,601 --> 00:45:29,103 - And they never have to worry about 1092 00:45:29,170 --> 00:45:30,604 getting stopped by the police. 1093 00:45:30,671 --> 00:45:33,207 - And they have the inside track for any job they-- 1094 00:45:33,274 --> 00:45:34,608 - I've got this one, Aisha. 1095 00:45:34,675 --> 00:45:38,412 They have the inside track for any job they want. 1096 00:45:38,479 --> 00:45:40,882 - Exactly, Gage, thank you for that. 1097 00:45:40,949 --> 00:45:43,651 That's white privilege. 1098 00:45:43,717 --> 00:45:45,854 - Whoa, and we have that? 1099 00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:47,288 - You sure do. 1100 00:45:47,355 --> 00:45:49,390 - I see. - Whoa. 1101 00:45:49,457 --> 00:45:51,292 I never realized this stuff. 1102 00:45:51,359 --> 00:45:54,362 - Yeah, you've really opened up my eyes. 1103 00:45:54,428 --> 00:45:56,831 - Well, I'm glad we've been able to enlighten you. 1104 00:45:56,898 --> 00:45:59,533 The real question is, do you think you'll 1105 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:03,471 be acting differently from now on? 1106 00:46:03,537 --> 00:46:06,074 - I guarantee it. - Yeah, me too. 1107 00:46:06,140 --> 00:46:08,342 [bang!] - Step aside, please. 1108 00:46:08,409 --> 00:46:09,777 We have white privilege. 1109 00:46:09,844 --> 00:46:12,180 - Yeah, yeah, check it out. 1110 00:46:14,115 --> 00:46:15,716 Don't worry, it's okay. 1111 00:46:15,783 --> 00:46:18,352 We automatically assume we can take what we want 1112 00:46:18,419 --> 00:46:21,222 and we don't have to worry about the police. 1113 00:46:21,289 --> 00:46:23,724 It's okay, you didn't know. We didn't either. 1114 00:46:23,791 --> 00:46:26,094 Good stuff. 1115 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,529 - This is what we were taught, sir. 1116 00:46:28,596 --> 00:46:31,499 - We're subverting the existing paradigm. 1117 00:46:33,034 --> 00:46:36,104 [alarm blares] 1118 00:46:36,170 --> 00:46:38,006 - This rules. 1119 00:46:38,072 --> 00:46:39,807 [snickering] 1120 00:46:39,874 --> 00:46:42,944 I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad we went to college. 1121 00:46:43,011 --> 00:46:46,414 - Now I have the skills for today's workplace. 1122 00:46:47,681 --> 00:46:50,384 - Well, let's see. What should we take next? 1123 00:46:50,451 --> 00:46:53,154 Let's take that car. 1124 00:46:53,221 --> 00:46:55,556 - But that's a police car. 1125 00:46:55,623 --> 00:46:57,959 - Beavis, you dumbass. Didn't you hear? 1126 00:46:58,026 --> 00:47:00,494 We don't have to worry about getting stopped by the police. 1127 00:47:00,561 --> 00:47:02,096 - Oh, yeah. [snickers] 1128 00:47:02,163 --> 00:47:05,266 - Okay, Beavis, let's tear ass. 1129 00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:08,937 [tires squeal] 1130 00:47:09,003 --> 00:47:11,940 [snickering] That was cool. 1131 00:47:12,006 --> 00:47:13,641 - Don't move! 1132 00:47:13,707 --> 00:47:15,843 - Uh, sir, maybe you didn't know, 1133 00:47:15,910 --> 00:47:17,478 but we have white privilege. 1134 00:47:17,545 --> 00:47:19,447 - Get your hands where I can see them. 1135 00:47:19,513 --> 00:47:22,416 - I think the problem is you're just uneducated. 1136 00:47:22,483 --> 00:47:24,818 - Yeah, we're gonna get jobs on Wall Street. 1137 00:47:24,885 --> 00:47:26,520 You guys know where that is? 1138 00:47:26,587 --> 00:47:28,822 Cut it out! Our dads are powerful. 1139 00:47:28,889 --> 00:47:30,324 They did not die of syphilis. 1140 00:47:30,391 --> 00:47:33,061 - Hey, Beavis was driving. 1141 00:47:33,127 --> 00:47:34,963 [buzzer] [metallic clang] 1142 00:47:35,029 --> 00:47:36,330 We're in jail, Beavis. 1143 00:47:36,397 --> 00:47:38,566 This kicks ass. 1144 00:47:38,632 --> 00:47:40,834 - Yeah, that youth pastor always said 1145 00:47:40,901 --> 00:47:43,137 we'd be here someday. 1146 00:47:43,204 --> 00:47:44,405 We finally made it. 1147 00:47:44,472 --> 00:47:48,109 - The system works, Beavis. 1148 00:47:48,176 --> 00:47:50,444 So, uh, sir? 1149 00:47:50,511 --> 00:47:52,313 How long do we have to stay here? 1150 00:47:52,380 --> 00:47:54,915 Like an hour? 1151 00:47:54,983 --> 00:47:57,618 - We're on our way to go score. 1152 00:47:57,685 --> 00:47:59,087 - Well, you got no one to bail you out, 1153 00:47:59,153 --> 00:48:00,854 so you'll be here until your arraignment in a month. 1154 00:48:00,921 --> 00:48:02,490 I'll come get you then. 1155 00:48:02,556 --> 00:48:05,193 - What-- What? A month? - That sucks. 1156 00:48:05,259 --> 00:48:07,028 - No, no! 1157 00:48:07,095 --> 00:48:10,164 Nooo! 1158 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,268 - They ditched the phone. 1159 00:48:14,335 --> 00:48:16,804 They could be anywhere. 1160 00:48:16,870 --> 00:48:18,906 - This is their work. 1161 00:48:20,841 --> 00:48:22,743 They're toying with us. 1162 00:48:24,545 --> 00:48:27,548 - It's the Feds. They're on this too. 1163 00:48:27,615 --> 00:48:30,751 How much do they know about the murders I committed? 1164 00:48:30,818 --> 00:48:32,453 - Oh--attempted. 1165 00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:34,255 [chuckles] In--in a video game. 1166 00:48:34,322 --> 00:48:36,590 Yeah, I--I wasn't there. 1167 00:48:36,657 --> 00:48:40,028 - [snoring] 1168 00:48:40,094 --> 00:48:43,297 - Ugh this sucks. [snickers] 1169 00:48:43,364 --> 00:48:45,099 - Damn it. 1170 00:48:45,166 --> 00:48:46,267 Serena's gonna be at our house, 1171 00:48:46,334 --> 00:48:47,701 and we're not gonna be there. 1172 00:48:47,768 --> 00:48:49,803 She's gonna think I don't care. 1173 00:48:49,870 --> 00:48:52,340 - Heh heh heh. You care. 1174 00:48:52,406 --> 00:48:54,208 - I do care. 1175 00:48:54,275 --> 00:48:56,510 Sometimes, I think about her, 1176 00:48:56,577 --> 00:48:59,047 and I don't even get a boner but I feel good anyway. 1177 00:48:59,113 --> 00:49:01,515 - Damn it, Beavis, shut up. You're embarrassing me. 1178 00:49:01,582 --> 00:49:03,817 If you don't get a boner when you think about her, 1179 00:49:03,884 --> 00:49:06,554 then you don't know what love is. 1180 00:49:06,620 --> 00:49:07,788 [buzzer] 1181 00:49:07,855 --> 00:49:10,724 - McCabe. Inspection now. 1182 00:49:10,791 --> 00:49:12,060 - Shit. 1183 00:49:12,126 --> 00:49:14,562 Okay, listen up, kid. You're gonna help me out. 1184 00:49:14,628 --> 00:49:15,963 I can't let them find these on me. 1185 00:49:16,030 --> 00:49:17,765 So you're going to take 'em. 1186 00:49:17,831 --> 00:49:18,932 - Whoa, heh. 1187 00:49:18,999 --> 00:49:20,234 You want me to take all of those? 1188 00:49:20,301 --> 00:49:22,170 - Yes moron, take them now. 1189 00:49:22,236 --> 00:49:24,638 - Okay okay. 1190 00:49:24,705 --> 00:49:28,209 Tastes weird. Kinda salty. 1191 00:49:28,276 --> 00:49:29,777 - Hey, don't eat em! 1192 00:49:29,843 --> 00:49:31,745 Hide 'em in your pants. - Shut up! 1193 00:49:31,812 --> 00:49:33,814 - McCabe! 1194 00:49:37,885 --> 00:49:39,287 - Heh heh heh heh. 1195 00:49:39,353 --> 00:49:41,189 This is gonna be cool. 1196 00:49:41,255 --> 00:49:44,825 [Beavis growls] 1197 00:49:44,892 --> 00:49:46,494 - Maybe you ought to check on that kid. 1198 00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:48,929 - You better shut up, McCabe. 1199 00:49:50,498 --> 00:49:56,337 [Beavis growls] 1200 00:49:56,404 --> 00:49:58,606 - Which one of you guys does tattoos? 1201 00:49:58,672 --> 00:50:00,674 - Hey, you better tell your friend to chill, man. 1202 00:50:00,741 --> 00:50:02,643 - Yeah, he's not really my friend. 1203 00:50:02,710 --> 00:50:05,045 He just, like, follows me around all the time. 1204 00:50:05,113 --> 00:50:06,347 - [maniacal gibberish] 1205 00:50:06,414 --> 00:50:08,449 - I think I want to get a tattoo of a butt 1206 00:50:08,516 --> 00:50:10,618 right here on my forehead. Heh heh heh. 1207 00:50:13,087 --> 00:50:16,357 - [echoing] I am Cornholio! 1208 00:50:16,424 --> 00:50:18,192 I need TP for my bunghole! 1209 00:50:18,259 --> 00:50:20,194 [snickering] 1210 00:50:20,261 --> 00:50:21,695 Do not make my bunghole angry. 1211 00:50:21,762 --> 00:50:23,097 I demand TP! - Hmm? 1212 00:50:23,164 --> 00:50:24,365 - Give me all your TP! 1213 00:50:24,432 --> 00:50:27,301 All your TP now! 1214 00:50:27,368 --> 00:50:28,936 - Quit disrespecting me! 1215 00:50:29,002 --> 00:50:30,471 - I will find your TP. 1216 00:50:30,538 --> 00:50:31,972 - [grunting] - I seek TP. 1217 00:50:32,039 --> 00:50:34,208 [humming and snickering] 1218 00:50:34,275 --> 00:50:35,943 Do not disrespect my bunghole. 1219 00:50:36,009 --> 00:50:39,012 [snickering] 1220 00:50:39,079 --> 00:50:40,881 [murmuring] 1221 00:50:40,948 --> 00:50:44,852 [Beavis grumbling] 1222 00:50:44,918 --> 00:50:47,020 I am Cornholio! 1223 00:50:47,087 --> 00:50:48,422 I need TP for my bunghole. 1224 00:50:48,489 --> 00:50:52,059 Heh-heh-heh. 1225 00:50:52,126 --> 00:50:55,396 [grumbling incoherently] 1226 00:50:55,463 --> 00:50:57,097 I demand TP, I demand TP! 1227 00:50:57,165 --> 00:50:59,066 More TP! 1228 00:50:59,133 --> 00:51:02,403 - Little dude's right, we do need more TP. 1229 00:51:02,470 --> 00:51:04,037 - More TP, more TP! [inmates murmuring] 1230 00:51:04,104 --> 00:51:05,139 I demand TP! 1231 00:51:05,206 --> 00:51:06,740 - Yeah, we want more TP. 1232 00:51:06,807 --> 00:51:08,242 - They never give us enough. 1233 00:51:08,309 --> 00:51:10,244 - You will not disrespect my bunghole! 1234 00:51:10,311 --> 00:51:12,880 - Yeah, they're disrespecting us. 1235 00:51:12,946 --> 00:51:14,915 They're disrespecting our bungholes. 1236 00:51:14,982 --> 00:51:18,286 [inmates murmuring] 1237 00:51:18,352 --> 00:51:20,788 - [grunts] We demand TP! 1238 00:51:20,854 --> 00:51:23,524 - That little guy's right about the toilet paper. 1239 00:51:23,591 --> 00:51:25,359 - No man can see his own bunghole. 1240 00:51:25,426 --> 00:51:27,561 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1241 00:51:27,628 --> 00:51:30,264 - One butt cheek here, and then one here. 1242 00:51:30,331 --> 00:51:31,465 Heh-heh. 1243 00:51:31,532 --> 00:51:32,600 - Look, are you sure you don't want 1244 00:51:32,666 --> 00:51:34,635 a pair of dice or something? 1245 00:51:34,702 --> 00:51:36,337 - Dice? Heh-heh-heh. 1246 00:51:36,404 --> 00:51:39,973 This is gonna be on my head for the rest of my life, dumbass. 1247 00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:41,309 - [chanting] TP! TP! 1248 00:51:41,375 --> 00:51:44,312 - You cannot imprison the almighty bunghole! 1249 00:51:44,378 --> 00:51:46,013 And now, you must pay! 1250 00:51:46,079 --> 00:51:47,348 Hm-heh-heh. 1251 00:51:47,415 --> 00:51:49,217 - What the hell? 1252 00:51:49,283 --> 00:51:50,618 - I don't get it, sir. 1253 00:51:50,684 --> 00:51:53,221 It started out as a simple request for toilet paper, 1254 00:51:53,287 --> 00:51:55,189 but now it's out of control. 1255 00:51:55,256 --> 00:51:58,726 - You have nothing to lose but your bunghole! 1256 00:51:58,792 --> 00:52:00,461 - Prepare the extraction team. 1257 00:52:00,528 --> 00:52:02,296 - Who is this guy? 1258 00:52:02,363 --> 00:52:03,797 Antifa? 1259 00:52:03,864 --> 00:52:05,098 MS-13? 1260 00:52:05,165 --> 00:52:07,435 - We ran him and his associate's fingerprints, 1261 00:52:07,501 --> 00:52:11,038 and it came back that they died in 1998. 1262 00:52:11,104 --> 00:52:12,340 - What the hell? 1263 00:52:12,406 --> 00:52:15,209 [alarm blaring] 1264 00:52:15,276 --> 00:52:18,011 [guards shouting] 1265 00:52:20,948 --> 00:52:24,418 - No man is free while one bunghole is in chains! 1266 00:52:24,485 --> 00:52:27,221 - They died in '98? 1267 00:52:27,288 --> 00:52:30,791 We're dealing with something here that's beyond explanation. 1268 00:52:30,858 --> 00:52:34,194 Have you ever seen a show called "Touched by an Angel"? 1269 00:52:34,262 --> 00:52:35,596 - No. 1270 00:52:35,663 --> 00:52:38,366 - They always come with a message. 1271 00:52:38,432 --> 00:52:40,067 What could his be? 1272 00:52:40,133 --> 00:52:41,535 - I am Cornholio! 1273 00:52:41,602 --> 00:52:43,271 I need TP for my bunghole! 1274 00:52:43,337 --> 00:52:46,607 - [chanting] TP! TP! TP! 1275 00:52:46,674 --> 00:52:49,843 - Stand by to take down Cornholio. 1276 00:52:49,910 --> 00:52:52,346 - Have you seen my bunghole? Heh-heh. 1277 00:52:52,413 --> 00:52:55,983 - When I open this door, unleash hell. 1278 00:52:56,049 --> 00:52:58,386 [dramatic music] 1279 00:52:58,452 --> 00:53:00,788 - Stand down. 1280 00:53:00,854 --> 00:53:03,291 This has turned into something bigger. 1281 00:53:03,357 --> 00:53:06,894 Cornholio's their hero. 1282 00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:11,064 He did the most dangerous thing you can do in this place. 1283 00:53:11,131 --> 00:53:13,667 [inspirational music] He gave those men hope. 1284 00:53:13,734 --> 00:53:16,236 And there's a funny thing about hope. 1285 00:53:16,304 --> 00:53:18,406 It's contagious. 1286 00:53:18,472 --> 00:53:20,941 And these days, well, 1287 00:53:21,008 --> 00:53:24,512 I think we need all the hope we can get. 1288 00:53:24,578 --> 00:53:26,847 - I hope you can see my bunghole. 1289 00:53:26,914 --> 00:53:28,616 - So what are we supposed to do? 1290 00:53:28,682 --> 00:53:31,652 - The only thing we can do. 1291 00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:36,123 Give those prisoners all the toilet paper we got. 1292 00:53:36,189 --> 00:53:37,958 And then we're going to put those two boys 1293 00:53:38,025 --> 00:53:40,328 on a bus back to where they came from. 1294 00:53:40,394 --> 00:53:41,962 Destroy their records. 1295 00:53:42,029 --> 00:53:46,166 And as far as I'm concerned, they were never here. 1296 00:53:46,233 --> 00:53:48,001 And with God's help, 1297 00:53:48,068 --> 00:53:51,439 we will learn from Cornholio's message today, 1298 00:53:51,505 --> 00:53:53,607 and we will become better men. 1299 00:53:53,674 --> 00:53:55,609 * * 1300 00:53:55,676 --> 00:53:57,778 - I have but one bunghole to give. 1301 00:53:57,845 --> 00:54:00,548 Heh-heh-heh, and I give it to you. 1302 00:54:00,614 --> 00:54:02,583 [siren blaring] 1303 00:54:02,650 --> 00:54:04,685 [truck horns honking] 1304 00:54:07,955 --> 00:54:11,459 [cheers and applause] 1305 00:54:11,525 --> 00:54:18,031 * * 1306 00:54:24,137 --> 00:54:25,839 [ominous music] 1307 00:54:25,906 --> 00:54:27,608 - National security? 1308 00:54:27,675 --> 00:54:29,843 Well, that sounds important. 1309 00:54:29,910 --> 00:54:32,279 But those two boys were never here. 1310 00:54:32,346 --> 00:54:36,984 Nope, no record of them at this facility. 1311 00:54:37,050 --> 00:54:40,087 - No jail is going to hold those two for long. 1312 00:54:40,153 --> 00:54:41,655 And apparently they have the ability 1313 00:54:41,722 --> 00:54:45,292 to wipe people's memories. 1314 00:54:45,359 --> 00:54:49,129 - And to that end, I'm here to surprise pardon two criminals 1315 00:54:49,196 --> 00:54:53,367 as part of my new "Soft on Crime" initiative. 1316 00:54:53,434 --> 00:54:55,536 And I'll just take them back 1317 00:54:55,603 --> 00:54:58,005 to the Capitol with me in my car. 1318 00:54:58,071 --> 00:54:59,773 - We heard about two youngsters arrested 1319 00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:03,343 over at TSU for some minor offenses. 1320 00:55:04,111 --> 00:55:07,648 - No, no one fitting that description was ever here. 1321 00:55:07,715 --> 00:55:09,316 - Really? 1322 00:55:09,383 --> 00:55:11,619 Are--are you sure about that? 1323 00:55:11,685 --> 00:55:13,286 - Absolutely. 1324 00:55:13,353 --> 00:55:17,057 So, who do you want to surprise pardon? 1325 00:55:17,124 --> 00:55:18,626 - Uh... 1326 00:55:18,692 --> 00:55:21,595 [engine rumbling] 1327 00:55:21,662 --> 00:55:25,098 - Ma'am, we just want to say thank you for pardoning us. 1328 00:55:25,165 --> 00:55:26,900 We appreciate-- - Shut up. 1329 00:55:26,967 --> 00:55:29,503 Where the hell are Beavis and Butt-Head? 1330 00:55:29,570 --> 00:55:31,071 - Oh, those guys? 1331 00:55:31,138 --> 00:55:33,574 Oh, the warden put them on a bus back to their hometown. 1332 00:55:33,641 --> 00:55:35,976 Highland Texas, I think it was. 1333 00:55:36,043 --> 00:55:36,810 - Oh. 1334 00:55:36,877 --> 00:55:38,912 - Highland Texas. 1335 00:55:38,979 --> 00:55:41,849 Finally a stroke of good luck. 1336 00:55:41,915 --> 00:55:44,351 [tires screeching] - Whoo-hoo! 1337 00:55:44,418 --> 00:55:46,720 Thank you, Governor! 1338 00:55:50,558 --> 00:55:54,194 - You know, I guess the lesson to learn from this is, 1339 00:55:54,261 --> 00:55:56,830 you probably should have pardoned someone smaller, 1340 00:55:56,897 --> 00:55:59,433 because-- - God damn it! 1341 00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:01,535 [crickets chirping] 1342 00:56:01,602 --> 00:56:04,438 [bus engine rumbling] 1343 00:56:04,505 --> 00:56:08,809 [quiet music] 1344 00:56:08,876 --> 00:56:10,711 - Heh heh heh. 1345 00:56:10,778 --> 00:56:12,045 We're almost there, right, Butt-Head? 1346 00:56:12,112 --> 00:56:13,213 Heh heh heh. 1347 00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:14,748 - We sure are, Beavis. 1348 00:56:14,815 --> 00:56:16,116 It's been a long journey. 1349 00:56:16,183 --> 00:56:18,085 Heh-heh. 1350 00:56:18,151 --> 00:56:21,354 - Um, Butt-Head? - Uh, yeah? 1351 00:56:21,421 --> 00:56:23,290 - What do you think's gonna happen when we score? 1352 00:56:23,356 --> 00:56:24,692 Heh-heh-heh. 1353 00:56:24,758 --> 00:56:27,060 - Beavis, everything is gonna be different. 1354 00:56:27,127 --> 00:56:28,562 Heh-heh. 1355 00:56:28,629 --> 00:56:29,863 Just imagine it. 1356 00:56:29,930 --> 00:56:33,501 Heh-heh, heh-heh. 1357 00:56:33,567 --> 00:56:35,803 [dreamy harp] 1358 00:56:35,869 --> 00:56:37,471 - Beavis. - Huh? 1359 00:56:37,538 --> 00:56:39,039 - You just scored with me. 1360 00:56:39,106 --> 00:56:40,641 - I did? 1361 00:56:40,708 --> 00:56:42,576 - Yes, and now I'm your girlfriend. 1362 00:56:42,643 --> 00:56:43,777 - Yes! 1363 00:56:43,844 --> 00:56:46,013 [laughter] 1364 00:56:46,079 --> 00:56:47,447 Whoo! 1365 00:56:47,515 --> 00:56:48,849 [giggling] - Check it out. 1366 00:56:48,916 --> 00:56:51,218 Heh-heh, yeah! 1367 00:56:51,284 --> 00:56:52,720 Oh! - Whoa! 1368 00:56:52,786 --> 00:56:55,556 - You're right, Beavis, fire is cool. 1369 00:56:55,623 --> 00:56:57,324 - Ow! - [snickering] 1370 00:56:57,390 --> 00:56:58,892 - I'm gonna tear your head off and-- 1371 00:56:58,959 --> 00:57:00,227 - [yells] - [gasps] 1372 00:57:00,293 --> 00:57:01,529 - No, you're not! 1373 00:57:01,595 --> 00:57:02,996 I'm his girlfriend. 1374 00:57:03,063 --> 00:57:04,865 Hi-yah! - Yes! 1375 00:57:04,932 --> 00:57:06,500 Yes, yes, yes! 1376 00:57:06,567 --> 00:57:08,769 Yes! - [whimpering] 1377 00:57:08,836 --> 00:57:10,437 - Hah! 1378 00:57:10,504 --> 00:57:11,739 - Ah-- 1379 00:57:12,873 --> 00:57:14,241 - [whistles] 1380 00:57:15,909 --> 00:57:17,811 [whinnying] 1381 00:57:18,846 --> 00:57:21,081 [twinkling chimes] 1382 00:57:21,148 --> 00:57:25,653 Beavis, from now on, it's just gonna be you and me. 1383 00:57:25,719 --> 00:57:26,720 And Butt-Head. 1384 00:57:26,787 --> 00:57:29,356 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1385 00:57:29,422 --> 00:57:30,958 I'm a deer. 1386 00:57:31,024 --> 00:57:32,893 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Heh. 1387 00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:34,695 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1388 00:57:34,762 --> 00:57:37,330 [dreamy harp] 1389 00:57:37,397 --> 00:57:42,369 [sensual club music] 1390 00:57:42,435 --> 00:57:43,904 - Hey Butt-Head, I heard 1391 00:57:43,971 --> 00:57:45,906 you put your thingy in a girl's thingy. 1392 00:57:45,973 --> 00:57:47,775 - I sure did, heh-heh. 1393 00:57:47,841 --> 00:57:48,776 - Did it hurt? 1394 00:57:48,842 --> 00:57:50,878 - Nope, heh-heh. 1395 00:57:50,944 --> 00:57:52,479 And I was never worried that it would. 1396 00:57:52,546 --> 00:57:53,647 Heh-heh. 1397 00:57:53,714 --> 00:57:55,082 Wood. 1398 00:57:55,148 --> 00:57:58,318 - Oh, Butt-Head, would you please score with us? 1399 00:57:58,385 --> 00:58:00,487 - And every other girl you know? 1400 00:58:00,554 --> 00:58:01,555 [giggling] 1401 00:58:01,622 --> 00:58:02,590 - Indeed. 1402 00:58:02,656 --> 00:58:04,424 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1403 00:58:04,491 --> 00:58:05,826 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1404 00:58:05,893 --> 00:58:07,728 [dreamy harp] Heh-heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1405 00:58:07,795 --> 00:58:09,663 - Highland, end of the line. 1406 00:58:09,730 --> 00:58:12,666 [quiet music] 1407 00:58:12,733 --> 00:58:13,867 - Beavis. 1408 00:58:13,934 --> 00:58:16,203 Beavis, wake up. We made it. 1409 00:58:16,269 --> 00:58:17,671 - Yeah, yeah, heh. - Heh-heh. 1410 00:58:17,738 --> 00:58:19,907 Yeah, we're gonna score, yeah. 1411 00:58:19,973 --> 00:58:22,009 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - This is gonna be cool. 1412 00:58:22,075 --> 00:58:24,477 Heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-hm-heh. 1413 00:58:24,544 --> 00:58:25,879 - Uh, Serena? 1414 00:58:25,946 --> 00:58:28,148 Heh-heh. - Serena? 1415 00:58:28,215 --> 00:58:30,884 - Um, Butt-Head, what are all these people 1416 00:58:30,951 --> 00:58:32,185 doing in our house? 1417 00:58:32,252 --> 00:58:34,655 - Uh, are we having a party or something? 1418 00:58:34,722 --> 00:58:36,056 - Better not be. 1419 00:58:36,123 --> 00:58:38,225 We have to have sex in here. - Heh-heh-heh. 1420 00:58:38,291 --> 00:58:41,128 - Welcome, Anita Ross, Castle Realty. 1421 00:58:41,194 --> 00:58:42,529 Are you interested in the home? 1422 00:58:42,596 --> 00:58:44,798 - Uh, this is our house. 1423 00:58:44,865 --> 00:58:46,734 - Oh, yeah, I fell in love with it too. 1424 00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:48,135 Let me give you the tour. 1425 00:58:48,201 --> 00:58:51,004 - Uh, what did you do to our house? 1426 00:58:51,071 --> 00:58:52,940 - Well, the current owner bought the property to flip. 1427 00:58:53,006 --> 00:58:54,942 Complete renovation. [chuckles] 1428 00:58:55,008 --> 00:58:56,977 - Yeah, this sucks, hm-hm-heh. 1429 00:58:57,044 --> 00:58:59,312 - The house was empty for a long time. 1430 00:58:59,379 --> 00:59:01,348 Because it belonged to the mother of one of these 1431 00:59:01,414 --> 00:59:05,085 two teenagers who died in this accident on the space shuttle. 1432 00:59:05,152 --> 00:59:06,620 [whispering] Shirley Beavis. 1433 00:59:06,687 --> 00:59:07,921 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, heh. 1434 00:59:07,988 --> 00:59:09,857 Whoa, Butt-Head, look, a garbage disposal. 1435 00:59:09,923 --> 00:59:11,692 - Yeah, heh, kick ass. - Cool. 1436 00:59:11,759 --> 00:59:12,960 - Yeah, it's all brand-new. 1437 00:59:13,026 --> 00:59:14,995 Anyway, you won't believe what happened 1438 00:59:15,062 --> 00:59:17,497 to Shirley Beavis when her son died in space. 1439 00:59:17,564 --> 00:59:19,833 She went totally-- [garbage disposal whirs] 1440 00:59:19,900 --> 00:59:24,738 [inaudible under disposal] 1441 00:59:24,805 --> 00:59:26,373 [disposal stops] And then, after she blew 1442 00:59:26,439 --> 00:59:28,275 through the settlement money, she did something 1443 00:59:28,341 --> 00:59:29,910 you wouldn't believe. - Something bigger, yeah. 1444 00:59:29,977 --> 00:59:31,779 - She took-- [garbage disposal whirs] 1445 00:59:31,845 --> 00:59:36,216 [indiscernible] 1446 00:59:36,283 --> 00:59:38,085 Bittersweet thing she said is, 1447 00:59:38,151 --> 00:59:40,754 if she could just see her son one more time, 1448 00:59:40,821 --> 00:59:43,590 she would tell him these words: 1449 00:59:43,657 --> 00:59:45,325 "Son,"-- [garbage disposal whirs] 1450 00:59:45,392 --> 00:59:48,261 [indiscernible] - Yeah, grind it, yeah! 1451 00:59:48,929 --> 00:59:50,630 [grinding and squelching] [screams] 1452 00:59:50,698 --> 00:59:52,165 - That kicks ass. 1453 00:59:52,232 --> 00:59:54,001 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Ow, heh-heh, yeah. 1454 00:59:54,067 --> 00:59:56,136 Yeah, yeah, cool, heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh. 1455 00:59:56,203 --> 00:59:58,271 So, um, so where's Serena? 1456 00:59:58,338 --> 01:00:00,708 - Who? - Serena, yeah, heh. 1457 01:00:00,774 --> 01:00:02,776 Siri for short. - Siri? 1458 01:00:02,843 --> 01:00:04,177 - Is she in the bedroom already? 1459 01:00:04,244 --> 01:00:05,746 - I mean if there's like, a line, 1460 01:00:05,813 --> 01:00:08,148 that's cool and everything, but, uh, we were led 1461 01:00:08,215 --> 01:00:10,117 to believe we would get first dibs. 1462 01:00:10,183 --> 01:00:11,584 - Shut up, Butt-Head, come on. 1463 01:00:11,651 --> 01:00:14,087 - There's no smart home system, if that's what you mean. 1464 01:00:14,154 --> 01:00:16,056 There's no Siri here. 1465 01:00:16,123 --> 01:00:17,624 - She's not here? 1466 01:00:17,691 --> 01:00:20,427 But--but she said--she said she'd be here. 1467 01:00:20,493 --> 01:00:22,662 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1468 01:00:22,730 --> 01:00:24,464 She's never lied to us before. 1469 01:00:24,531 --> 01:00:26,499 [somber music] 1470 01:00:26,566 --> 01:00:28,068 What happened, Butt-Head? 1471 01:00:28,135 --> 01:00:29,737 She promised she was gonna be here. 1472 01:00:29,803 --> 01:00:31,138 And now she's not. 1473 01:00:31,204 --> 01:00:33,006 I thought we had something. 1474 01:00:33,073 --> 01:00:34,574 Where is she? - Damn it, Beavis, 1475 01:00:34,641 --> 01:00:36,143 how am I supposed to know? 1476 01:00:36,209 --> 01:00:38,578 Uh, where's the remote? 1477 01:00:38,645 --> 01:00:40,480 Heh-heh. 1478 01:00:40,547 --> 01:00:42,883 - What are these things? 1479 01:00:42,950 --> 01:00:44,084 - Ahh! - Ugh! 1480 01:00:44,151 --> 01:00:45,218 [dramatic chord] 1481 01:00:45,285 --> 01:00:46,787 What the hell is that? 1482 01:00:46,854 --> 01:00:49,222 - Yeah, where's the TV? 1483 01:00:49,289 --> 01:00:51,992 - Uh, they're books. 1484 01:00:52,059 --> 01:00:53,660 - What? - Heh-heh. 1485 01:00:53,727 --> 01:00:54,661 - Books? 1486 01:00:54,728 --> 01:00:55,662 Books? 1487 01:00:55,729 --> 01:00:57,130 No, heh, no! 1488 01:00:57,197 --> 01:00:58,498 We were supposed to score! 1489 01:00:58,565 --> 01:01:00,500 It was gonna be the best thing in the world. 1490 01:01:00,567 --> 01:01:02,635 And instead, all we get is books! 1491 01:01:02,702 --> 01:01:04,637 The worst thing in the world. 1492 01:01:04,704 --> 01:01:06,139 I'm tired of this crap. 1493 01:01:06,206 --> 01:01:07,474 It's not fair. 1494 01:01:07,540 --> 01:01:09,542 - Damn it, Beavis, this is all your fault. 1495 01:01:09,609 --> 01:01:11,845 I would have scored if you hadn't scared her off 1496 01:01:11,912 --> 01:01:14,114 with all your wuss feelings talk. 1497 01:01:14,181 --> 01:01:15,983 "Oh, Serena, oh, I don't have a boner." 1498 01:01:16,049 --> 01:01:17,184 Bleugh! 1499 01:01:17,250 --> 01:01:18,185 - Shut up, Butt-Head. 1500 01:01:18,251 --> 01:01:19,386 I don't sound like that. 1501 01:01:19,452 --> 01:01:21,121 You're the one who scared her off. 1502 01:01:21,188 --> 01:01:23,090 You're always calling her a slut. 1503 01:01:23,156 --> 01:01:25,058 - That's because she is a slut, Beavis. 1504 01:01:25,125 --> 01:01:26,459 [dramatic chord] 1505 01:01:26,526 --> 01:01:27,995 She's an S-L, 1506 01:01:28,061 --> 01:01:31,231 uh, O or something slut. 1507 01:01:31,298 --> 01:01:33,200 She told us herself, remember? 1508 01:01:33,266 --> 01:01:37,771 256 men, 49 women, a dog, 1509 01:01:37,838 --> 01:01:40,507 a chimpanzee with a wiener the size of a-- 1510 01:01:40,573 --> 01:01:41,474 - [yells] - Ugh! 1511 01:01:44,978 --> 01:01:48,048 Beavis, you've just crossed a line. 1512 01:01:48,115 --> 01:01:51,218 And I think we both know what needs to happen now. 1513 01:01:51,284 --> 01:01:52,719 - Ah! Butthole! 1514 01:01:52,786 --> 01:01:54,387 - Heh-heh. - [grunting] 1515 01:01:54,454 --> 01:01:55,655 - [yells] - Butt-Head, I'm gonna kill you, 1516 01:01:55,722 --> 01:01:56,790 you son of a bitch! 1517 01:01:56,857 --> 01:01:59,059 [grunting] - Oh, my. 1518 01:01:59,126 --> 01:02:01,294 I know this can be an emotional decision 1519 01:02:01,361 --> 01:02:02,729 for a couple, but... - Beavis, you son of a whore. 1520 01:02:02,796 --> 01:02:04,597 - Yeah, all right, here we go, here we go, let's just-- 1521 01:02:04,664 --> 01:02:06,433 yeah, let's just move this party outside. 1522 01:02:06,499 --> 01:02:08,035 - Get your hands off me, bunghole! 1523 01:02:08,101 --> 01:02:10,037 - Okay, just go, go, go, go, go, good, good, good, good. 1524 01:02:10,103 --> 01:02:11,738 - [grunts] 1525 01:02:11,805 --> 01:02:14,908 - My email's on the flyer. 1526 01:02:14,975 --> 01:02:16,209 - Damn it, Butt-Head. 1527 01:02:16,276 --> 01:02:18,045 I finally found someone, and you're jealous! 1528 01:02:18,111 --> 01:02:21,714 - "I have feelings, Serena, wuh-heh-heh, let's hold hands. 1529 01:02:21,781 --> 01:02:23,550 "Wuh-heh-heh." - Shut up, Butt-Head! 1530 01:02:23,616 --> 01:02:25,085 You're the one who drove her away. 1531 01:02:25,152 --> 01:02:26,653 She said she doesn't understand you, 1532 01:02:26,719 --> 01:02:29,823 and we talked about spider webs and you ruined everything. 1533 01:02:29,890 --> 01:02:31,491 - Damn it, Beavis, Serena never liked you, 1534 01:02:31,558 --> 01:02:33,526 she was just talking to you to get to me. 1535 01:02:33,593 --> 01:02:36,329 I'm tired of you weighing me down. 1536 01:02:36,396 --> 01:02:38,731 I'm gonna get out of here, and don't follow me. 1537 01:02:38,798 --> 01:02:39,766 Heh-heh-heh. 1538 01:02:39,833 --> 01:02:41,601 - Well, don't follow me. 1539 01:02:41,668 --> 01:02:43,436 Butthole! Hehe. 1540 01:02:43,503 --> 01:02:47,207 [How Am I Supposed to Live Without You plays] 1541 01:02:47,274 --> 01:02:49,742 [rain pouring] 1542 01:02:49,809 --> 01:02:52,379 * * 1543 01:02:52,445 --> 01:02:54,948 - * I could hardly believe it * 1544 01:02:55,015 --> 01:02:58,318 * When I heard the news today * 1545 01:02:58,385 --> 01:03:00,954 [men chuckling] * I had to come and get it * 1546 01:03:01,021 --> 01:03:06,059 * Straight from you * 1547 01:03:06,126 --> 01:03:08,495 * They said you were leaving * 1548 01:03:08,561 --> 01:03:10,563 * Someone swept your heart away * 1549 01:03:10,630 --> 01:03:12,132 - [grunting] 1550 01:03:12,199 --> 01:03:14,434 - * From the look upon your face * 1551 01:03:14,501 --> 01:03:18,939 * I see it's true * 1552 01:03:19,006 --> 01:03:21,174 * So tell me all about it * - Shut up, dumbass. 1553 01:03:21,241 --> 01:03:23,010 - * Tell about the plans you're making * 1554 01:03:23,076 --> 01:03:26,046 - [yells] 1555 01:03:26,113 --> 01:03:32,019 - * Tell me one thing more before I go * 1556 01:03:32,085 --> 01:03:37,224 * Tell my how am I supposed to live without you * 1557 01:03:37,290 --> 01:03:40,660 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1558 01:03:40,727 --> 01:03:42,095 Hey, Beavis, check-- 1559 01:03:42,162 --> 01:03:43,863 Uh, oh. 1560 01:03:43,931 --> 01:03:45,098 dramatic chord] 1561 01:03:45,165 --> 01:03:46,934 Let go of me, butthole. 1562 01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:48,701 [tires screeching] 1563 01:03:48,768 --> 01:03:50,337 - [yells] Hey, hey, what are you--ah, 1564 01:03:50,403 --> 01:03:51,604 hey, what are you doing? 1565 01:03:51,671 --> 01:03:55,242 [door slams] 1566 01:03:55,308 --> 01:03:57,477 [foreboding music] - Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1567 01:03:57,544 --> 01:04:00,113 - Are you here because you hate the United States? 1568 01:04:00,180 --> 01:04:03,383 - Um, heh, the United States? 1569 01:04:03,450 --> 01:04:07,320 Is that, like, part of America or something? 1570 01:04:07,387 --> 01:04:08,956 - It's hard to believe this species 1571 01:04:09,022 --> 01:04:10,523 mastered interstellar travel. 1572 01:04:10,590 --> 01:04:13,426 - Perhaps the two beings share one brain. 1573 01:04:13,493 --> 01:04:16,396 Apart, they're barely able to feed themselves. 1574 01:04:16,463 --> 01:04:18,298 But together, their intelligence 1575 01:04:18,365 --> 01:04:20,867 is beyond what we can even conceive. 1576 01:04:20,934 --> 01:04:22,369 - Hm-heh. 1577 01:04:22,435 --> 01:04:24,871 - We've located the second creature. 1578 01:04:24,938 --> 01:04:27,840 - If we keep them apart, it'll neutralize the threat. 1579 01:04:27,907 --> 01:04:29,642 - But if we don't bring them together, 1580 01:04:29,709 --> 01:04:32,946 we'll never know their plans for world conquest. 1581 01:04:33,013 --> 01:04:35,815 Or the location of their internal sexual organs. 1582 01:04:35,882 --> 01:04:37,684 - Heh-heh-heh. 1583 01:04:37,750 --> 01:04:39,252 Pipe. 1584 01:04:39,319 --> 01:04:41,021 - Stop playing dumb. 1585 01:04:41,088 --> 01:04:42,722 Are you here to destroy me? 1586 01:04:42,789 --> 01:04:45,025 - Uh, if that's how you want it, baby. 1587 01:04:45,092 --> 01:04:46,159 Heh-heh. 1588 01:04:46,226 --> 01:04:47,995 But I can also be very gentle. 1589 01:04:48,061 --> 01:04:49,362 - Okay, we're not getting anywhere. 1590 01:04:49,429 --> 01:04:52,065 - Uh, I don't mind the handcuffs, but like, 1591 01:04:52,132 --> 01:04:54,701 is this dumbass gonna be in the room while we're getting it on? 1592 01:04:54,767 --> 01:04:56,503 [phone rings] - Who is this? 1593 01:04:56,569 --> 01:04:58,438 - Hello, Governor. It appears we each have 1594 01:04:58,505 --> 01:05:01,441 something the other wants. 1595 01:05:01,508 --> 01:05:02,675 [crickets chirping] 1596 01:05:02,742 --> 01:05:04,677 Governor Ryan, the secret Defense Command 1597 01:05:04,744 --> 01:05:07,380 demands you turn over your prisoner immediately 1598 01:05:07,447 --> 01:05:09,282 for reasons of national security. 1599 01:05:09,349 --> 01:05:12,352 - You're sitting too close to me, Beavis. 1600 01:05:12,419 --> 01:05:14,287 - You're sitting too close to me. 1601 01:05:14,354 --> 01:05:15,822 Butthole, hm-hm-heh. 1602 01:05:15,888 --> 01:05:18,891 - As long as you're in the state of Texas, Special Agent, 1603 01:05:18,958 --> 01:05:20,660 both those boys belong to me. 1604 01:05:20,727 --> 01:05:23,530 - And to a lesser extent me, because I'm the lieutenant-- 1605 01:05:23,596 --> 01:05:25,432 - There's no ice in this. 1606 01:05:25,498 --> 01:05:27,734 - Could your assistant get me some ice as well? 1607 01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:30,337 - Oh, I'm not actually her assistant, I'm the lieutenant-- 1608 01:05:30,403 --> 01:05:32,172 - Hartson, just get us some ice. 1609 01:05:32,239 --> 01:05:35,275 [uneasy music] 1610 01:05:35,342 --> 01:05:37,177 - Heh, bunghole. 1611 01:05:37,244 --> 01:05:39,546 - You're the bunghole, buttwagon. 1612 01:05:39,612 --> 01:05:42,015 - The federal government has jurisdiction. 1613 01:05:42,082 --> 01:05:43,483 - He said dick. 1614 01:05:43,550 --> 01:05:45,685 Heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-heh. 1615 01:05:45,752 --> 01:05:47,520 It's not that funny, hm-hm-hm-heh. 1616 01:05:47,587 --> 01:05:50,490 - Federal law dictates that you turn them over. 1617 01:05:50,557 --> 01:05:53,826 - Whoa, he definitely said dick that time. 1618 01:05:53,893 --> 01:05:56,529 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-hm-heh, yeah, heh. 1619 01:05:56,596 --> 01:05:59,366 Yeah, so what? It's not that funny, Butt-Head. 1620 01:05:59,432 --> 01:06:00,867 So one word sounds like another word, 1621 01:06:00,933 --> 01:06:02,369 big deal, who cares? 1622 01:06:02,435 --> 01:06:05,105 - So you can ruin me and have me replaced as governor 1623 01:06:05,172 --> 01:06:07,006 with one of your deep state assets? 1624 01:06:07,074 --> 01:06:09,376 - She said ate ass. 1625 01:06:09,442 --> 01:06:12,212 Heh-heh-heh. - Whoa, ate ass. 1626 01:06:12,279 --> 01:06:13,513 She said ate ass! 1627 01:06:13,580 --> 01:06:14,814 - Jesus, what is wrong with you? 1628 01:06:14,881 --> 01:06:16,349 I did not say ate ass. 1629 01:06:16,416 --> 01:06:18,318 - She said it again, hm-heh. - Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1630 01:06:18,385 --> 01:06:19,752 - Ate ass. 1631 01:06:19,819 --> 01:06:22,189 - They're just sitting around saying ate ass. 1632 01:06:22,255 --> 01:06:24,491 - Ate ass. - Ate ass. 1633 01:06:24,557 --> 01:06:26,493 - They are really annoying. - Ate ass, sir. 1634 01:06:26,559 --> 01:06:28,061 - Is there another room we could put them in? 1635 01:06:28,128 --> 01:06:29,462 - Ate ass! 1636 01:06:29,529 --> 01:06:31,864 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh, ate ass. 1637 01:06:31,931 --> 01:06:33,566 Hm-hm-heh-heh-heh. - Ate ass, heh-heh. 1638 01:06:33,633 --> 01:06:35,602 - And then she said she didn't say ate ass, 1639 01:06:35,668 --> 01:06:37,137 which made her say it again. 1640 01:06:37,204 --> 01:06:39,606 And then we said it, remember? 1641 01:06:39,672 --> 01:06:41,708 Hm-hm-hm-heh-heh. - Yeah, that was cool. 1642 01:06:41,774 --> 01:06:43,276 - Oh, boy. - Heh-heh-heh. 1643 01:06:43,343 --> 01:06:44,911 - Quick, I don't have much time. 1644 01:06:44,977 --> 01:06:47,180 I know what Serena did to you on the Endeavor. 1645 01:06:47,247 --> 01:06:50,016 - Uh, she hasn't done it yet. 1646 01:06:50,083 --> 01:06:51,684 - It's gonna be any minute though, yeah. 1647 01:06:51,751 --> 01:06:53,620 - I can help you bring her down. 1648 01:06:53,686 --> 01:06:57,324 - Uh, so like, you'd be in the room? 1649 01:06:57,390 --> 01:06:59,192 - I'll be right behind you all the way. 1650 01:06:59,259 --> 01:07:00,827 - Heh. - Ugh. 1651 01:07:00,893 --> 01:07:02,295 Really? - I don't know, Butt-Head, 1652 01:07:02,362 --> 01:07:03,696 I guess it's worth it, I mean, 1653 01:07:03,763 --> 01:07:05,398 I wouldn't say no to anything at this point. 1654 01:07:05,465 --> 01:07:06,866 - Here's the plan. 1655 01:07:06,933 --> 01:07:09,536 I left the keys in that green car right down there. 1656 01:07:09,602 --> 01:07:10,570 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 1657 01:07:10,637 --> 01:07:12,205 - Take the highway northbound 1658 01:07:12,272 --> 01:07:13,540 to the Pecos county rest stop. 1659 01:07:13,606 --> 01:07:14,707 - Mm-hmm, sounds good. 1660 01:07:14,774 --> 01:07:16,576 - There's a reporter from the morning news 1661 01:07:16,643 --> 01:07:18,145 waiting to hear your story. 1662 01:07:18,211 --> 01:07:19,512 - Okay. - All right, uh-huh. 1663 01:07:19,579 --> 01:07:22,014 - Did you get all that? - Yes, sir, heh-heh. 1664 01:07:22,081 --> 01:07:23,616 - Yep, we're gonna score. 1665 01:07:23,683 --> 01:07:26,219 Heh-heh-heh. - Damn right. 1666 01:07:26,286 --> 01:07:28,588 - I have to go back in there before they get suspicious, 1667 01:07:28,655 --> 01:07:30,290 but you've got to get out of here, now. 1668 01:07:30,357 --> 01:07:33,226 The people in there want you dead. 1669 01:07:33,293 --> 01:07:35,528 What she tried to do to you in '98 1670 01:07:35,595 --> 01:07:38,765 she's done to me every day for 24 years. 1671 01:07:38,831 --> 01:07:40,767 - Christ, heh-heh-heh. - Whoa, heh-heh. 1672 01:07:40,833 --> 01:07:42,101 - There's no need to brag about it. 1673 01:07:42,169 --> 01:07:44,070 - I'm going to make sure she can't do it to you 1674 01:07:44,137 --> 01:07:47,374 or anyone else ever again. 1675 01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:49,509 - Uh, wait a minute, 1676 01:07:49,576 --> 01:07:51,444 I think I see what's going on here. 1677 01:07:51,511 --> 01:07:53,380 He doesn't want us to score. 1678 01:07:53,446 --> 01:07:55,448 That's why he took the handcuffs off. 1679 01:07:55,515 --> 01:07:56,716 - Yeah, yeah, because he knows 1680 01:07:56,783 --> 01:07:58,351 Serena has a thing for handcuffs. 1681 01:07:58,418 --> 01:08:00,187 Yeah, hm-hm-heh. - Exactly. 1682 01:08:00,253 --> 01:08:01,688 And that's why he gave us a car, 1683 01:08:01,754 --> 01:08:03,623 and directions to someplace far away 1684 01:08:03,690 --> 01:08:05,658 where Serena will never find us. 1685 01:08:05,725 --> 01:08:07,860 That dirty butthole. 1686 01:08:07,927 --> 01:08:08,795 - Damn it! Heh. 1687 01:08:08,861 --> 01:08:10,096 What's wrong with that guy? 1688 01:08:10,163 --> 01:08:12,599 He's scored every day for--for 24 years. 1689 01:08:12,665 --> 01:08:14,801 That's like, um, 50 times. 1690 01:08:14,867 --> 01:08:16,068 - We got to get back in there 1691 01:08:16,135 --> 01:08:18,538 and get those handcuffs back on, Beavis. 1692 01:08:18,605 --> 01:08:20,907 We just outsmarted that son of a bitch. 1693 01:08:20,973 --> 01:08:22,475 [tense music] 1694 01:08:22,542 --> 01:08:24,143 Damn it, it's locked. 1695 01:08:24,211 --> 01:08:26,112 - Quick, Butt-Head, the window. 1696 01:08:26,179 --> 01:08:27,447 [grunts] 1697 01:08:27,514 --> 01:08:28,481 - [grunts] 1698 01:08:28,548 --> 01:08:29,982 - Ah! - Ugh. 1699 01:08:30,049 --> 01:08:32,585 Heh-heh. - That was close, hm-hm-heh. 1700 01:08:32,652 --> 01:08:34,454 I can't wait to see the look on his face 1701 01:08:34,521 --> 01:08:36,389 when he sees that car and we're not in it. 1702 01:08:36,456 --> 01:08:37,524 Heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh. 1703 01:08:37,590 --> 01:08:39,392 [laughter] 1704 01:08:39,459 --> 01:08:41,294 - [chuckles] What did I miss? 1705 01:08:41,361 --> 01:08:42,529 - This is so funny. 1706 01:08:42,595 --> 01:08:44,431 We were arguing whether they're aliens 1707 01:08:44,497 --> 01:08:45,965 or the boys from the Space Shuttle. 1708 01:08:46,032 --> 01:08:48,401 But then we realized, it doesn't matter. 1709 01:08:48,468 --> 01:08:50,102 We both want the same thing. 1710 01:08:50,169 --> 01:08:53,540 - We want to kill them, and they want to dissect them. 1711 01:08:53,606 --> 01:08:55,308 We're all on the same team. 1712 01:08:55,375 --> 01:08:57,410 [laughter] 1713 01:08:57,477 --> 01:08:59,612 - Well, let's go kill them. 1714 01:08:59,679 --> 01:09:02,081 - And dissect them, right, Phil? 1715 01:09:02,148 --> 01:09:03,283 - You got me. 1716 01:09:03,350 --> 01:09:05,485 [chuckling] 1717 01:09:05,552 --> 01:09:07,420 - What the hell? 1718 01:09:07,487 --> 01:09:09,088 Uh, just hold on a second. 1719 01:09:09,155 --> 01:09:10,790 - What is it, Hartson? 1720 01:09:10,857 --> 01:09:12,992 - All this talk about dissecting 1721 01:09:13,059 --> 01:09:14,594 is making me curious. 1722 01:09:14,661 --> 01:09:16,663 No, you know what, forget it, it's probably way 1723 01:09:16,729 --> 01:09:19,165 too complicated for someone like me to understand. 1724 01:09:19,232 --> 01:09:20,433 - Hmm. 1725 01:09:20,500 --> 01:09:23,135 Oh, no, no, no, on the contrary, 1726 01:09:23,202 --> 01:09:24,537 this will just take a minute. 1727 01:09:24,604 --> 01:09:26,439 I've got some pictures on my phone. 1728 01:09:26,506 --> 01:09:29,075 First, you need to locate the anus. 1729 01:09:29,141 --> 01:09:30,577 [cuffs jingling] 1730 01:09:30,643 --> 01:09:32,512 - Okay, there, we got 'em closed. 1731 01:09:32,579 --> 01:09:35,548 Now let's put our hands in. 1732 01:09:35,615 --> 01:09:37,083 - It won't fit, Butt-Head. 1733 01:09:37,149 --> 01:09:39,619 How'd we ever get our hands in here in the first place? 1734 01:09:39,686 --> 01:09:43,055 - Uh, let's open them up and start over again. 1735 01:09:43,122 --> 01:09:44,557 We need a key, heh-heh. 1736 01:09:44,624 --> 01:09:48,561 - I think that guy said the keys are in the green car. 1737 01:09:48,628 --> 01:09:50,697 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Uh, oh, yeah. 1738 01:09:50,763 --> 01:09:52,899 Heh-heh, good thinking, Beavis. 1739 01:09:52,965 --> 01:09:54,367 Heh-heh-heh. - Yeah, heh-heh, thanks. 1740 01:09:54,434 --> 01:09:57,904 - I know you're thinking, "I need an expensive scalpel," 1741 01:09:57,970 --> 01:10:00,473 but save your money for the embalming fluid. 1742 01:10:00,540 --> 01:10:02,542 There's a guy in Ecuador who can set you up-- 1743 01:10:02,609 --> 01:10:04,243 - You know what, we don't have time for this. 1744 01:10:04,311 --> 01:10:06,879 Let's go kill those boys, huh? 1745 01:10:06,946 --> 01:10:08,915 - Heh-heh. [car alarm chimes] 1746 01:10:08,981 --> 01:10:10,950 - Damn it. - I think you just, um... 1747 01:10:11,017 --> 01:10:13,119 - This key sucks. - Yeah, I don't know. 1748 01:10:13,185 --> 01:10:15,021 [car beeping] 1749 01:10:15,087 --> 01:10:17,424 [urgent music] 1750 01:10:17,490 --> 01:10:21,160 [horn honking] 1751 01:10:21,227 --> 01:10:24,297 * * 1752 01:10:24,364 --> 01:10:25,532 - They're gone. 1753 01:10:25,598 --> 01:10:26,566 - What? 1754 01:10:26,633 --> 01:10:28,535 I can't believe it! 1755 01:10:28,601 --> 01:10:30,102 - Where could they have gone? 1756 01:10:30,169 --> 01:10:32,972 - I think I have an idea. 1757 01:10:33,039 --> 01:10:37,477 - Directions to 322 Woodson Street, Highland, Texas. 1758 01:10:37,544 --> 01:10:39,312 - Heh-heh-heh. 1759 01:10:39,379 --> 01:10:40,480 Wood. 1760 01:10:40,547 --> 01:10:42,482 Heh-heh-heh-heh. [urgent music] 1761 01:10:42,549 --> 01:10:43,783 - Let's go. 1762 01:10:46,719 --> 01:10:49,288 - Damn it. - Hartson, get in the van. 1763 01:10:51,090 --> 01:10:52,492 - It doesn't fit. 1764 01:10:52,559 --> 01:10:53,860 [engine rumbling] 1765 01:10:53,926 --> 01:10:55,127 - Hey, Serena's in there. 1766 01:10:55,194 --> 01:10:58,030 And that butthole. - [mouthing words] 1767 01:10:58,097 --> 01:10:59,732 - He's gonna go score with her. 1768 01:10:59,799 --> 01:11:01,968 - Why is it always a guy with a van? 1769 01:11:02,034 --> 01:11:04,604 - We got to save her before Hartson bones her again. 1770 01:11:04,671 --> 01:11:06,773 Heh-heh. - Yeah, he's out of control. 1771 01:11:06,839 --> 01:11:09,175 And, um, I just want to say, um, 1772 01:11:09,241 --> 01:11:11,143 you can score first if you want to, Butt-Head. 1773 01:11:11,210 --> 01:11:12,579 Hm-hm-heh. 1774 01:11:12,645 --> 01:11:15,247 - Beavis, I'm not gonna score. 1775 01:11:15,314 --> 01:11:17,183 And you're not gonna score. 1776 01:11:17,249 --> 01:11:18,317 We're gonna score. 1777 01:11:18,385 --> 01:11:19,419 [uplifting music] 1778 01:11:19,486 --> 01:11:22,154 - Yeah, heh, yeah, yeah! 1779 01:11:22,221 --> 01:11:24,991 - Now let's go score before I change my mind. 1780 01:11:25,057 --> 01:11:27,560 Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. - Yeah! 1781 01:11:27,627 --> 01:11:29,829 - All we need now is a car. 1782 01:11:29,896 --> 01:11:34,100 Hmm. - Um, Butt-Head, we're in a car. 1783 01:11:34,166 --> 01:11:36,636 Yeah, hm-hm-hm-heh. - Oh, yeah, heh-heh. 1784 01:11:36,703 --> 01:11:39,005 You really brought your A-game today, Beavis. 1785 01:11:39,071 --> 01:11:40,807 Heh-heh-heh. - Heh, yeah, thanks. 1786 01:11:40,873 --> 01:11:42,409 Hm-hm-heh. [engine starts] 1787 01:11:42,475 --> 01:11:44,143 - Remember, Butt-Head, it's gonna go backwards like before. 1788 01:11:44,210 --> 01:11:45,244 Yeah, hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1789 01:11:45,311 --> 01:11:46,646 - Uh, oh, yeah. 1790 01:11:46,713 --> 01:11:48,848 Heh-heh, you're on a roll, Beavis. 1791 01:11:48,915 --> 01:11:50,182 Heh-heh. 1792 01:11:50,249 --> 01:11:53,686 Just gonna back this baby out and go score. 1793 01:11:53,753 --> 01:11:56,723 [yelling] ["Children Of The Grave" plays] 1794 01:11:56,789 --> 01:11:58,391 [tires screeching] [car alarm wailing] 1795 01:11:58,458 --> 01:12:00,960 - Heh, kick ass, yeah! 1796 01:12:01,027 --> 01:12:02,395 Heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh. 1797 01:12:02,462 --> 01:12:03,563 [horn honking] This is cool. 1798 01:12:03,630 --> 01:12:04,864 - Yeah, yeah, heh-heh, yeah. 1799 01:12:04,931 --> 01:12:07,166 Whoa! - Heh-heh. 1800 01:12:07,233 --> 01:12:08,568 - Wait, I see her! 1801 01:12:08,635 --> 01:12:10,937 I see her, Butt-Head, speed up! - Okay, Beavis. 1802 01:12:11,003 --> 01:12:14,040 - * Revolution in their minds * 1803 01:12:14,106 --> 01:12:15,642 * The children start to march * 1804 01:12:15,708 --> 01:12:18,044 - Heh-heh-heh. 1805 01:12:18,110 --> 01:12:20,046 - Hang on, we're being followed. 1806 01:12:20,112 --> 01:12:22,449 - What the hell? [tires screeching] 1807 01:12:22,515 --> 01:12:23,783 - [whimpers] 1808 01:12:25,885 --> 01:12:26,919 - There she is! 1809 01:12:26,986 --> 01:12:28,521 Faster, Butt-Head, come on, faster! 1810 01:12:28,588 --> 01:12:29,789 - Who could it be? 1811 01:12:29,856 --> 01:12:31,390 - Probably just someone who just happens 1812 01:12:31,458 --> 01:12:32,592 to be going our way. 1813 01:12:32,659 --> 01:12:33,860 To the store, perhaps. 1814 01:12:33,926 --> 01:12:36,463 - It's the Venezuelans or Al-Qaeda. 1815 01:12:36,529 --> 01:12:38,030 - Or the Venusians. 1816 01:12:38,097 --> 01:12:39,398 Or Arcturus Six. 1817 01:12:39,466 --> 01:12:41,734 - Or probably just someone going to the store. 1818 01:12:41,801 --> 01:12:43,102 You know how you run out of milk? 1819 01:12:43,169 --> 01:12:44,904 - I think it's time to put this baby 1820 01:12:44,971 --> 01:12:46,205 into high gear, Beavis. 1821 01:12:46,272 --> 01:12:47,840 - Yeah, yeah, heh, yeah let's do it, yeah. 1822 01:12:47,907 --> 01:12:49,509 What does R stand for? 1823 01:12:49,576 --> 01:12:51,644 Hm-hm-heh. - Uh, really fast? 1824 01:12:51,711 --> 01:12:53,412 - Yeah, yeah, let's go really fast. 1825 01:12:53,480 --> 01:12:55,682 [lever creaking] 1826 01:12:55,748 --> 01:12:56,749 [screams] 1827 01:12:56,816 --> 01:12:58,184 Ow, heh, ow! - Ugh! 1828 01:12:58,250 --> 01:13:00,553 [smoke hissing] 1829 01:13:00,620 --> 01:13:01,854 Ugh. - [grunts] 1830 01:13:01,921 --> 01:13:03,856 - You have a bag in your face. - [coughs] 1831 01:13:03,923 --> 01:13:06,593 - Heh-heh-heh. - Oh, yeah, heh-heh. 1832 01:13:06,659 --> 01:13:08,728 Bag, heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1833 01:13:08,795 --> 01:13:09,762 - Come on, Butt-Head! 1834 01:13:09,829 --> 01:13:10,797 Come on, drive! 1835 01:13:10,863 --> 01:13:12,599 We have to save Serena, come on. 1836 01:13:12,665 --> 01:13:13,633 [crash] 1837 01:13:13,700 --> 01:13:15,101 [glass shattering] 1838 01:13:15,167 --> 01:13:17,436 ["Children Of The Grave" continues] 1839 01:13:17,504 --> 01:13:22,441 - * Children of tomorrow live in the tears that fall today * 1840 01:13:22,509 --> 01:13:24,043 - [yells] 1841 01:13:24,110 --> 01:13:26,145 - * Will the sun rise up tomorrow * 1842 01:13:26,212 --> 01:13:29,415 * Bring in peace in any way? * 1843 01:13:29,482 --> 01:13:30,917 - [shrieks] 1844 01:13:30,983 --> 01:13:32,485 - * Must the world live in the shadow... * 1845 01:13:32,552 --> 01:13:35,555 - Uh, I think there's something wrong with this car. 1846 01:13:35,622 --> 01:13:37,356 Heh-heh-heh. 1847 01:13:37,423 --> 01:13:39,626 - The car is going backwards, Butt-Head. 1848 01:13:39,692 --> 01:13:41,460 Heh. - Uh, oh. 1849 01:13:41,528 --> 01:13:44,396 Heh-heh, cool. 1850 01:13:44,463 --> 01:13:46,766 - Whew, well, I think we lost them. 1851 01:13:46,833 --> 01:13:48,367 Nothing to worry about, I guess. 1852 01:13:48,434 --> 01:13:50,302 [dramatic chord] 1853 01:13:50,369 --> 01:13:52,905 - They're back, and they're driving backwards. 1854 01:13:52,972 --> 01:13:54,473 - What the hell is happening? 1855 01:13:54,541 --> 01:13:56,142 Who are these guys? 1856 01:13:56,208 --> 01:13:58,778 - The East Germans train their assassination teams 1857 01:13:58,845 --> 01:14:00,513 to drive backwards to give their snipers 1858 01:14:00,580 --> 01:14:01,948 a better field of vision. 1859 01:14:02,014 --> 01:14:04,150 [tires screeching] 1860 01:14:04,216 --> 01:14:06,352 [crashing] 1861 01:14:08,187 --> 01:14:09,488 - We almost got 'em, Butt-Head, hurry. 1862 01:14:09,556 --> 01:14:10,857 Heh-heh-hm-hm-heh. 1863 01:14:10,923 --> 01:14:12,592 [eerie music] [synthetic whooshing] 1864 01:14:12,659 --> 01:14:14,060 - Beavis and Butt-Head. - [yells] 1865 01:14:14,126 --> 01:14:15,494 - Listen carefully. 1866 01:14:15,562 --> 01:14:18,097 You only have three minutes to go through the portal. 1867 01:14:18,164 --> 01:14:19,832 Our universes hang in the balance. 1868 01:14:19,899 --> 01:14:23,102 - Uh, how did you get here? 1869 01:14:23,169 --> 01:14:26,573 - Our universe has technology that you can only dream of. 1870 01:14:26,639 --> 01:14:28,107 - Can you watch porn on it? 1871 01:14:28,174 --> 01:14:29,876 - Yes, an infinite amount. 1872 01:14:29,942 --> 01:14:31,978 - Every scenario you can ever imagine. 1873 01:14:32,044 --> 01:14:33,312 - But none of it will exist 1874 01:14:33,379 --> 01:14:34,947 if you do not go through the portal. 1875 01:14:35,014 --> 01:14:37,316 - Why did you not go through the portal before? 1876 01:14:37,383 --> 01:14:40,186 It was right there behind the Classics department. 1877 01:14:40,252 --> 01:14:42,789 - You could have saved the universe and maybe learned 1878 01:14:42,855 --> 01:14:45,024 how Latin is the basis of English grammar. 1879 01:14:45,091 --> 01:14:47,794 - But no matter. At great personal expense, 1880 01:14:47,860 --> 01:14:49,428 we have moved the portal again. 1881 01:14:49,495 --> 01:14:51,297 It is now in your old home, 1882 01:14:51,363 --> 01:14:53,900 in the poorly renovated half bathroom. 1883 01:14:53,966 --> 01:14:56,669 - Enter now so the portal might seal itself, 1884 01:14:56,736 --> 01:14:58,270 and you will return to a universe 1885 01:14:58,337 --> 01:15:00,206 where you never went through the black hole 1886 01:15:00,272 --> 01:15:04,376 but instead lived your lives these past 24 years. 1887 01:15:04,443 --> 01:15:05,477 [synthetic whirring] 1888 01:15:05,544 --> 01:15:07,246 - Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-heh-heh. 1889 01:15:07,313 --> 01:15:09,248 [coughs] - Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1890 01:15:09,315 --> 01:15:11,483 - Um, heh, who are those guys? 1891 01:15:11,550 --> 01:15:13,686 - Uh, I don't know. 1892 01:15:13,753 --> 01:15:15,121 They seem pretty cool, though. 1893 01:15:15,187 --> 01:15:16,856 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, not too bad, really. 1894 01:15:16,923 --> 01:15:18,625 - This show sucks. 1895 01:15:18,691 --> 01:15:20,059 - Yeah, yeah, it's horrible. 1896 01:15:20,126 --> 01:15:21,728 Change the channel, Butt-Head, come on, right now. 1897 01:15:21,794 --> 01:15:23,562 - Don't tell me what to do. 1898 01:15:23,630 --> 01:15:24,797 [grunts] - [yells] 1899 01:15:24,864 --> 01:15:26,298 - Yeah, yeah, hit 'em, hit 'em again. 1900 01:15:26,365 --> 01:15:27,667 [whooshing] 1901 01:15:27,734 --> 01:15:29,068 Come on, turn that show back on. 1902 01:15:29,135 --> 01:15:30,136 - There is no time. 1903 01:15:30,202 --> 01:15:32,038 Now fly to the portal, fly. 1904 01:15:32,104 --> 01:15:33,339 [dramatic music] 1905 01:15:33,405 --> 01:15:35,007 - There's a stop sign, Butt-Head. 1906 01:15:35,074 --> 01:15:36,175 - Fly, my friends-- 1907 01:15:36,242 --> 01:15:37,576 [yelling] 1908 01:15:39,311 --> 01:15:41,814 - Heh, ow. 1909 01:15:41,881 --> 01:15:44,316 [engine roaring] Ah! 1910 01:15:44,383 --> 01:15:45,484 That was painful. 1911 01:15:45,551 --> 01:15:48,387 - We must hasten to the-- 1912 01:15:48,454 --> 01:15:49,889 [urgent music] 1913 01:15:49,956 --> 01:15:51,390 - Looks like we lost them. 1914 01:15:51,457 --> 01:15:53,459 Woodson Street is right up ahead. 1915 01:15:53,525 --> 01:15:54,727 [guns cocking] 1916 01:15:54,794 --> 01:15:56,629 * * 1917 01:15:56,696 --> 01:15:58,831 [horn blaring] 1918 01:15:58,898 --> 01:16:02,802 [metal crashing] 1919 01:16:02,869 --> 01:16:04,804 - There they are, Butt-Head. 1920 01:16:04,871 --> 01:16:06,405 - Sweet Christ. 1921 01:16:06,472 --> 01:16:08,207 - There's only five people in the world 1922 01:16:08,274 --> 01:16:09,241 who could drive like that. 1923 01:16:09,308 --> 01:16:10,509 - Yeah, again, probably just 1924 01:16:10,576 --> 01:16:11,878 someone going out shopping, and their 1925 01:16:11,944 --> 01:16:13,512 transmission got stuck in reverse. 1926 01:16:13,579 --> 01:16:15,181 Happens to me. Never happened to you? 1927 01:16:15,247 --> 01:16:17,416 - I'm not going down without a fight. 1928 01:16:17,483 --> 01:16:19,752 - Or instead, you could pull over 1929 01:16:19,819 --> 01:16:20,853 and let me out and-- [gunfire] 1930 01:16:20,920 --> 01:16:21,888 Ahh! 1931 01:16:21,954 --> 01:16:25,391 [bullets ricocheting] 1932 01:16:25,457 --> 01:16:28,027 - Cool. Someone put a little mirror here 1933 01:16:28,094 --> 01:16:29,295 where you can, like, see behind-- 1934 01:16:29,361 --> 01:16:30,963 [glass shattering] Heh-heh. 1935 01:16:31,030 --> 01:16:32,832 - I don't see it, where? 1936 01:16:32,899 --> 01:16:34,100 Ah! - Ugh! 1937 01:16:34,166 --> 01:16:35,401 [tires screeching] 1938 01:16:35,467 --> 01:16:36,669 - Hey Butt-Head, they stopped. 1939 01:16:36,736 --> 01:16:38,470 - We got 'em right where we want 'em. 1940 01:16:38,537 --> 01:16:39,972 - Ah, ah! - Ugh! 1941 01:16:42,775 --> 01:16:43,710 - Get out of the car. 1942 01:16:43,776 --> 01:16:46,112 - [speaking language] 1943 01:16:48,748 --> 01:16:49,916 [glass shattering] 1944 01:16:49,982 --> 01:16:51,150 [crash] 1945 01:16:51,217 --> 01:16:53,585 - Of course. - What the hell? 1946 01:16:53,652 --> 01:16:55,354 - That's right, baby. 1947 01:16:55,421 --> 01:16:57,623 Our little dance of seduction is now complete. 1948 01:16:57,690 --> 01:16:59,458 Heh-heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh, oh, yeah. 1949 01:16:59,525 --> 01:17:02,361 - Hold your fire. 1950 01:17:02,428 --> 01:17:06,198 24 years ago, you nearly destroyed me. 1951 01:17:06,265 --> 01:17:08,567 And now you've traveled through time and space 1952 01:17:08,634 --> 01:17:11,270 to try to destroy me again. 1953 01:17:11,337 --> 01:17:14,140 I want to be the one to do this. 1954 01:17:14,206 --> 01:17:16,008 - Yes! Heh-heh. 1955 01:17:16,075 --> 01:17:17,576 - Yes, it's really going to happen! 1956 01:17:17,643 --> 01:17:18,811 [snickering] 1957 01:17:18,878 --> 01:17:20,947 - Wait, bu--why are you happy? 1958 01:17:21,013 --> 01:17:23,582 - Uh, because, milady, 1959 01:17:23,649 --> 01:17:25,484 we are about to score with thee. 1960 01:17:25,551 --> 01:17:26,753 - Together. 1961 01:17:26,819 --> 01:17:28,755 - Heh-heh, heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh-heh. 1962 01:17:28,821 --> 01:17:30,156 - Hang on. 1963 01:17:30,222 --> 01:17:32,591 Do you think I'm going to have sex with you? 1964 01:17:32,658 --> 01:17:34,160 - Uh, yeah. 1965 01:17:34,226 --> 01:17:35,728 Heh-heh. - So, um, should we do it here 1966 01:17:35,795 --> 01:17:37,864 or in the kitchen, 'cause I think that guy 1967 01:17:37,930 --> 01:17:39,131 wants to watch or something? 1968 01:17:39,198 --> 01:17:41,133 - Heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh. 1969 01:17:41,200 --> 01:17:43,335 - Yeah, you said you'd have sex with us 1970 01:17:43,402 --> 01:17:45,938 back at Space Camp. Remember? 1971 01:17:46,005 --> 01:17:47,974 - What did I say at Space Camp? 1972 01:17:48,040 --> 01:17:49,108 [twinkling chimes] 1973 01:17:49,175 --> 01:17:51,043 - How would you guys like to do that, 1974 01:17:51,110 --> 01:17:53,512 but do it for real, with me? 1975 01:17:53,579 --> 01:17:55,381 - Whoa. - Yes! 1976 01:17:55,447 --> 01:17:57,316 - That wasn't so hard, was it? 1977 01:17:57,383 --> 01:17:58,584 - Well, actually, it was pretty hard 1978 01:17:58,650 --> 01:18:00,319 until the last five minutes or so, 1979 01:18:00,386 --> 01:18:01,653 but then I got barf on it. 1980 01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:04,156 And then, you know, just, heh, see you later. 1981 01:18:04,223 --> 01:18:07,794 - To me, the most exciting part is re-entry. 1982 01:18:07,860 --> 01:18:09,896 - Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-heh-heh. 1983 01:18:09,962 --> 01:18:11,030 Yeah, we get to do it twice! 1984 01:18:11,097 --> 01:18:12,731 [dramatic music] 1985 01:18:12,799 --> 01:18:13,933 - Do it... 1986 01:18:14,000 --> 01:18:15,835 so hard... 1987 01:18:15,902 --> 01:18:17,669 re-entry... 1988 01:18:17,736 --> 01:18:20,406 Oh, my God. You were never out to get me. 1989 01:18:20,472 --> 01:18:22,875 You just wanted to have sex with me. 1990 01:18:22,942 --> 01:18:24,576 - Yeah, baby, heh-heh. 1991 01:18:24,643 --> 01:18:26,745 - Guilty as charged, heh, you know what I'm saying? 1992 01:18:26,813 --> 01:18:27,980 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1993 01:18:28,047 --> 01:18:29,648 - These boys aren't my enemies, 1994 01:18:29,715 --> 01:18:32,384 and they're not aliens out to destroy our way of life. 1995 01:18:32,451 --> 01:18:37,790 They're just two very, very stupid and horny teenagers. 1996 01:18:37,857 --> 01:18:40,492 [quiet music] 1997 01:18:40,559 --> 01:18:42,094 - Uh, huh? 1998 01:18:42,161 --> 01:18:43,562 Heh-heh. - Yeah, come on, heh-heh. 1999 01:18:43,629 --> 01:18:45,865 - Boi-yoi-yoi-ing! 2000 01:18:45,932 --> 01:18:48,067 - I can't believe I've been hanging on to this 2001 01:18:48,134 --> 01:18:49,668 for 24 years. 2002 01:18:49,735 --> 01:18:51,804 - Yeah, I've been hanging on to it too. 2003 01:18:51,871 --> 01:18:53,305 Hm-hm-heh. 2004 01:18:53,372 --> 01:18:56,976 - And now, I know you mean you've been masturbating. 2005 01:18:57,043 --> 01:18:58,978 It's all so simple. 2006 01:18:59,045 --> 01:19:01,447 - Well, I'll be. 2007 01:19:01,513 --> 01:19:02,748 Masturbating. 2008 01:19:02,815 --> 01:19:05,684 - Let's all go home. 2009 01:19:05,751 --> 01:19:07,719 - Oh, no, I'm not gonna let everyone 2010 01:19:07,786 --> 01:19:09,388 just walk away from this. 2011 01:19:09,455 --> 01:19:13,092 I know everything you've done, every law you've broken. 2012 01:19:13,159 --> 01:19:15,828 That's right, from now on, it's gonna be my turn because-- 2013 01:19:15,895 --> 01:19:16,963 [synthetic whooshing] 2014 01:19:17,029 --> 01:19:18,297 - What? - What the hell? 2015 01:19:18,364 --> 01:19:21,033 - Beavis and Butt-Head, hear us. 2016 01:19:21,100 --> 01:19:23,735 - You need to open the door first, Smart Butt-Head. 2017 01:19:23,802 --> 01:19:25,304 - Yes, yes, the door, yes. 2018 01:19:25,371 --> 01:19:28,207 - Well observed, Smart Beavis, well observed, yes. 2019 01:19:28,274 --> 01:19:30,309 Beavis and Butt-Head, hear us. 2020 01:19:30,376 --> 01:19:32,344 You have mere seconds to enter the portal. 2021 01:19:32,411 --> 01:19:34,446 - Only by the two of you entering this portal 2022 01:19:34,513 --> 01:19:36,282 can our universes be saved. 2023 01:19:36,348 --> 01:19:39,785 - Otherwise, the entire cosmos shall perish forever. 2024 01:19:39,852 --> 01:19:41,553 Make haste. 2025 01:19:41,620 --> 01:19:43,789 - Uh, okay, haste. 2026 01:19:43,856 --> 01:19:47,193 - No, they are witnesses and they are not going anywhere! 2027 01:19:47,259 --> 01:19:49,061 And I don't know who you two freaks are 2028 01:19:49,128 --> 01:19:52,298 or how you're mixed up in this, but I'm gonna find out. 2029 01:19:52,364 --> 01:19:54,700 I am done being a laughingstock. 2030 01:19:54,766 --> 01:19:57,269 I've already called the Federal whistleblower hotline 2031 01:19:57,336 --> 01:19:59,005 and as soon as I get off hold-- 2032 01:19:59,071 --> 01:20:00,339 - Hello, can I help you? 2033 01:20:00,406 --> 01:20:02,108 - You sure can, I am calling 2034 01:20:02,174 --> 01:20:03,809 from Highland, Texas, and I-- 2035 01:20:03,876 --> 01:20:07,479 [screams] 2036 01:20:07,546 --> 01:20:08,647 - Hello? 2037 01:20:08,714 --> 01:20:10,316 Hello? 2038 01:20:10,382 --> 01:20:12,684 [scoffs] Asshole. 2039 01:20:12,751 --> 01:20:15,454 [whoosh] 2040 01:20:18,124 --> 01:20:20,292 - Hmm. Well, I will be damned. 2041 01:20:20,359 --> 01:20:21,860 - That appears to have worked. 2042 01:20:21,928 --> 01:20:23,662 - We thought it needed to be the two of you 2043 01:20:23,729 --> 01:20:24,897 to go through the portal. 2044 01:20:24,964 --> 01:20:26,665 But I guess anything would have worked. 2045 01:20:26,732 --> 01:20:28,434 We could have thrown a brick in there. 2046 01:20:28,500 --> 01:20:30,402 - It's safe to say, we were making it 2047 01:20:30,469 --> 01:20:32,471 more complicated than it needed to be. 2048 01:20:32,538 --> 01:20:34,173 - While we are the smartest Beavis and Butt-Head 2049 01:20:34,240 --> 01:20:35,507 in all the cosmos, 2050 01:20:35,574 --> 01:20:38,677 in absolute terms, we're still not so bright. 2051 01:20:38,744 --> 01:20:39,979 - Okay, boys. 2052 01:20:40,046 --> 01:20:42,148 No one can know what happened here tonight. 2053 01:20:42,214 --> 01:20:43,950 So what will it take to keep you quiet? 2054 01:20:44,016 --> 01:20:46,052 - Uh, we want to score. 2055 01:20:46,118 --> 01:20:47,486 Heh-heh. 2056 01:20:47,553 --> 01:20:48,887 - Oh, God. 2057 01:20:48,955 --> 01:20:52,391 I mean, I suppose it's not the most disgusting thing 2058 01:20:52,458 --> 01:20:54,493 I've done for my career. 2059 01:20:54,560 --> 01:20:56,462 So would it have to be both of you? 2060 01:20:56,528 --> 01:20:58,264 - That's right, Serena. 2061 01:20:58,330 --> 01:20:59,665 We're a team. - Yep. 2062 01:20:59,731 --> 01:21:01,167 - Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-hm-heh. 2063 01:21:01,233 --> 01:21:06,205 - Oh, God, this is, oof, rough. 2064 01:21:06,272 --> 01:21:09,475 I'm gonna need a minute to think about this. 2065 01:21:09,541 --> 01:21:12,878 - Um, heh, Serena, whatever you decide, 2066 01:21:12,945 --> 01:21:14,680 you know, like, either way, 2067 01:21:14,746 --> 01:21:16,415 there's something I need to tell you. 2068 01:21:16,482 --> 01:21:17,516 [tender music] Um, heh. 2069 01:21:17,583 --> 01:21:20,086 Something I tried to say before, 2070 01:21:20,152 --> 01:21:21,887 but I didn't have the courage. 2071 01:21:21,954 --> 01:21:23,589 - Go ahead, Beavis. 2072 01:21:23,655 --> 01:21:27,293 - Now Serena, I've been on a long journey 2073 01:21:27,359 --> 01:21:29,895 and I've been to outer space 2074 01:21:29,962 --> 01:21:31,463 and I've been in a toilet. 2075 01:21:31,530 --> 01:21:34,166 And I think I've been to some other places 2076 01:21:34,233 --> 01:21:36,135 that, um, heh, I don't remember. 2077 01:21:36,202 --> 01:21:37,803 But um-- - You went to college. 2078 01:21:37,869 --> 01:21:40,239 - Oh, yeah, yeah, heh, I went to college-- 2079 01:21:40,306 --> 01:21:42,374 - And you went to jail. 2080 01:21:42,441 --> 01:21:44,676 - No, I don't remember that. 2081 01:21:44,743 --> 01:21:48,180 Anyway, along the way, I learned some things and stuff. 2082 01:21:48,247 --> 01:21:49,581 Or something, and, um, heh. 2083 01:21:49,648 --> 01:21:53,419 And so now, I finally am ready 2084 01:21:53,485 --> 01:21:56,255 to say to you what I've been wanting to say, 2085 01:21:56,322 --> 01:21:57,456 which is that-- 2086 01:21:57,523 --> 01:22:01,093 that I--I, um, heh, I lo-- 2087 01:22:01,160 --> 01:22:02,861 I--I-- 2088 01:22:02,928 --> 01:22:04,330 I--I lo-- 2089 01:22:04,396 --> 01:22:06,065 - Come on, kid, you can do it. 2090 01:22:06,132 --> 01:22:07,299 - I-- 2091 01:22:07,366 --> 01:22:08,534 - I love you, Serena. 2092 01:22:08,600 --> 01:22:10,636 For years, I have watched you from afar 2093 01:22:10,702 --> 01:22:13,072 through the portal, entranced by your beauty, 2094 01:22:13,139 --> 01:22:14,540 your elegance, your grace, 2095 01:22:14,606 --> 01:22:16,708 your intelligence, your knowledge of science. 2096 01:22:16,775 --> 01:22:18,144 - Wait a second. 2097 01:22:18,210 --> 01:22:19,945 - And I have a better offer for you. 2098 01:22:20,012 --> 01:22:21,647 Come with me to my universe, 2099 01:22:21,713 --> 01:22:23,715 and I will show you the mysteries of the cosmos 2100 01:22:23,782 --> 01:22:25,917 as we travel across the galaxies, 2101 01:22:25,984 --> 01:22:28,420 beyond anything NASA will ever achieve... 2102 01:22:28,487 --> 01:22:30,456 fulfilling all the dreams you ever had 2103 01:22:30,522 --> 01:22:33,425 since you were a little girl staring up at the stars. 2104 01:22:33,492 --> 01:22:35,561 * * 2105 01:22:35,627 --> 01:22:39,365 - Wow, that is, surprisingly, 2106 01:22:39,431 --> 01:22:41,600 everything I've ever dreamed of. 2107 01:22:41,667 --> 01:22:43,635 - Um, I have an offer too, um, heh. 2108 01:22:43,702 --> 01:22:46,205 I found a coupon in the car for Taco Bell. 2109 01:22:46,272 --> 01:22:48,240 I was thinking maybe we could, um, 2110 01:22:48,307 --> 01:22:49,808 we could go have a taco-- 2111 01:22:49,875 --> 01:22:52,144 - Also I was thinking we might score. 2112 01:22:52,211 --> 01:22:53,145 - You know what? 2113 01:22:53,212 --> 01:22:54,580 So was I. 2114 01:22:54,646 --> 01:22:57,149 - Yeah, sometimes the Taco Bell has a Pizza Hut. 2115 01:22:57,216 --> 01:23:00,152 You know, if you don't like tacos, heh, or nachos. 2116 01:23:00,219 --> 01:23:02,121 [whoosh] 2117 01:23:02,188 --> 01:23:05,824 - I have a gigantic schlong. I hope that's okay. 2118 01:23:05,891 --> 01:23:07,993 * * 2119 01:23:08,060 --> 01:23:10,329 - Oh, boy, yeah, I knew it. 2120 01:23:10,396 --> 01:23:11,363 Here we go again. 2121 01:23:11,430 --> 01:23:13,132 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 2122 01:23:13,199 --> 01:23:15,667 - Beavis, you're a dumbass. 2123 01:23:15,734 --> 01:23:17,069 Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-hm-heh. 2124 01:23:17,136 --> 01:23:20,239 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-hm-heh. 2125 01:23:20,306 --> 01:23:23,008 [quiet music] 2126 01:23:23,075 --> 01:23:24,410 - And there you have it. 2127 01:23:24,476 --> 01:23:26,745 The greatest story ever told. 2128 01:23:26,812 --> 01:23:28,747 Heh-heh-heh. - Pretty cool, yeah, heh-heh. 2129 01:23:28,814 --> 01:23:31,317 - We promised those government buttholes that we wouldn't 2130 01:23:31,383 --> 01:23:32,951 tell anyone what happened, and they gave us 2131 01:23:33,018 --> 01:23:35,387 a brand-new TV and put our house back 2132 01:23:35,454 --> 01:23:37,022 exactly the way it was. 2133 01:23:37,089 --> 01:23:40,426 - And it wasn't me, but somewhere out there, 2134 01:23:40,492 --> 01:23:41,893 there's a Beavis who scored. 2135 01:23:41,960 --> 01:23:43,495 Hm, yeah, heh-heh-heh. 2136 01:23:43,562 --> 01:23:47,366 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm, heh. 2137 01:23:47,433 --> 01:23:49,568 - Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Hm, heh-heh, heh-heh. 2138 01:23:49,635 --> 01:23:52,938 [triumphant music] 2139 01:23:53,004 --> 01:24:00,479 * * 2140 01:24:01,713 --> 01:24:06,051 [cheers and applause] 2141 01:24:13,692 --> 01:24:17,263 - Smart Beavis and Smart Butt-Head, 2142 01:24:17,329 --> 01:24:19,097 we honor you. 2143 01:24:19,165 --> 01:24:25,837 - For you, Smart Beavis, are the first among us to score. 2144 01:24:25,904 --> 01:24:29,808 - And you, Smart Butt-Head, were able to watch 2145 01:24:29,875 --> 01:24:34,646 by hiding in a suitcase at the foot of the bed. 2146 01:24:34,713 --> 01:24:36,515 - Serena left immediately 2147 01:24:36,582 --> 01:24:39,285 and is not returning phone calls or texts. 2148 01:24:39,351 --> 01:24:41,187 - But no matter. 2149 01:24:41,253 --> 01:24:45,291 Tonight, we celebrate! 2150 01:24:45,357 --> 01:24:48,894 [cheers and applause] 2151 01:24:48,960 --> 01:24:53,932 [snickering] 2152 01:25:04,810 --> 01:25:11,950 * * 2153 01:25:54,826 --> 01:25:56,061 - Chirp.