1 00:00:04,842 --> 00:00:07,243 Last season on "Velma"... 2 00:00:07,243 --> 00:00:10,763 - The serial killer is... - Victoria Jones? 3 00:00:11,882 --> 00:00:14,642 It's not Victoria. She told me she's been possessed 4 00:00:14,642 --> 00:00:17,203 by the ghost of Dr. Edna Perdue. 5 00:00:17,762 --> 00:00:18,963 I love you. 6 00:00:20,402 --> 00:00:22,762 - I love you too, Norville. - Norville? 7 00:00:29,722 --> 00:00:31,562 Mother? Hello? 8 00:00:42,683 --> 00:00:46,162 Another thing Velma was right about. No such thing as ghosts. 9 00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:48,643 Hello? 10 00:00:58,323 --> 00:01:00,202 My name is Velma Dinkley. 11 00:01:00,202 --> 00:01:03,722 And three weeks ago, I caught my first serial killer. 12 00:01:04,282 --> 00:01:06,762 Did the experience change me? Yes. 13 00:01:07,083 --> 00:01:09,122 I'm more confident in my mystery solving. 14 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:10,922 I know someone's out there, 15 00:01:10,922 --> 00:01:14,402 and if you give me six to ten weeks to investigate, I'll figure out who. 16 00:01:14,402 --> 00:01:16,202 Though, I'm also pretty jumpy. 17 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,603 Ah, don't kill me! I'm about to attend a super cool party 18 00:01:18,603 --> 00:01:19,683 and I'm not even crashing. 19 00:01:19,683 --> 00:01:21,723 Velma, relax. It's just me. 20 00:01:21,723 --> 00:01:25,043 And word of advice, saying a party is cool is not cool. 21 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,002 Now, come on, give me your hand. The party's this way. 22 00:01:27,002 --> 00:01:29,282 Unfortunately, catching a serial killer 23 00:01:29,282 --> 00:01:32,842 has taught me nothing about solving the mystery of teen romance. 24 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:36,282 So this is where the popular kids party in the woods. 25 00:01:36,282 --> 00:01:38,642 I give myself ten minutes before I'm asked to leave. 26 00:01:38,642 --> 00:01:40,443 Velma, no one's gonna ask you to leave. 27 00:01:40,443 --> 00:01:43,163 As crazy as this sounds, you're popular now. 28 00:01:43,163 --> 00:01:44,883 You saved the life of every girl here. 29 00:01:44,883 --> 00:01:48,723 I guess. Still, it just feels weird. I'm so glad you're here. 30 00:01:48,723 --> 00:01:49,922 Me too. 31 00:01:52,002 --> 00:01:55,202 Now, you go in first. I don't want to arrive as a couple 32 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:58,883 and then have to spend the whole party explaining to people we're not... 33 00:01:58,883 --> 00:02:00,523 What? But I thought... You just held my hand. 34 00:02:00,523 --> 00:02:03,842 - It was romantic as hell. - No, it wasn't. It was practical. 35 00:02:03,842 --> 00:02:06,002 I didn't want you stepping on all the broken glass 36 00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:07,362 and used condoms out here. 37 00:02:07,362 --> 00:02:08,922 Why can't you just admit you want to be together? 38 00:02:08,922 --> 00:02:13,283 Because you told Norville you loved him right in front of me. 39 00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:15,163 And I've told you that was an accident, 40 00:02:15,163 --> 00:02:18,443 literally seven times and figuratively, a billion times. 41 00:02:18,443 --> 00:02:20,482 It just feels so farfetched. 42 00:02:20,482 --> 00:02:23,123 Norville's your best friend and you have that special bond 43 00:02:23,123 --> 00:02:24,883 from all your weird AP nerd classes. 44 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,323 Yes, but you were my first best friend, Daphne. 45 00:02:27,323 --> 00:02:29,283 And best friends trust each other. 46 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:33,163 So, I'm asking you to trust me that I told Norville I loved him on accident. 47 00:02:33,163 --> 00:02:35,443 Nay, I'm begging you. 48 00:02:37,242 --> 00:02:38,603 Oh, God! Look! 49 00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:40,522 It's Sheriff Cogburn! 50 00:02:53,362 --> 00:02:56,163 What do you mean you need to exhume my mother's body? 51 00:02:56,163 --> 00:02:57,922 Seriously, I don't know what that means. 52 00:02:57,922 --> 00:03:00,563 It means, I wanna dig her up and make sure she's truly dead. 53 00:03:00,563 --> 00:03:04,163 In horror movies, killers always return three to ten times, and I... 54 00:03:04,163 --> 00:03:06,482 We're not opening up Fred's mom's grave, Velma. 55 00:03:06,482 --> 00:03:10,003 It's disrespectful and more importantly, it's expensive. 56 00:03:10,003 --> 00:03:13,482 Expensive? Use the money you don't pay me to do your job. 57 00:03:13,482 --> 00:03:16,163 Cogburn's murder three weeks after I caught Victoria 58 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,283 cannot be a coincidence. 59 00:03:17,283 --> 00:03:19,082 My mom wasn't a serial killer! 60 00:03:19,082 --> 00:03:21,642 She was possessed by the ghost of Norville's grandmother. 61 00:03:21,642 --> 00:03:23,403 How is that so hard to understand? 62 00:03:23,883 --> 00:03:25,003 This is useless. 63 00:03:25,003 --> 00:03:28,123 I can't believe your moms won't dig up one stupid grave. 64 00:03:28,123 --> 00:03:30,482 If Victoria's back, we're at the top of her list. 65 00:03:30,482 --> 00:03:32,843 Velma, Victoria is dead. 66 00:03:32,843 --> 00:03:35,403 We saw her get impaled by a stalactite. 67 00:03:35,403 --> 00:03:38,003 I've also seen a picture of Victoria's original nose. 68 00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:39,563 She has the money to fix anything. 69 00:03:39,563 --> 00:03:41,202 And with all due respect to your moms, 70 00:03:41,202 --> 00:03:43,323 if I don't solve Cogburn's murder, who will? 71 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:44,603 Excuse me! 72 00:03:44,603 --> 00:03:47,043 - I have solved Cogburn's murder. - What? 73 00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:49,723 In my three weeks as a spooky stuff hunter, 74 00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:51,922 I have never seen an easier case. 75 00:03:51,922 --> 00:03:54,482 {\an8}The ghost of Norville's grandma has struck again. 76 00:03:54,482 --> 00:03:56,843 {\an8}Fortunately, this time I'm ready 77 00:03:56,843 --> 00:04:00,522 {\an8}'cause Freddy's partnered up with another smoking hot white dude. 78 00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:02,283 Jesus. 79 00:04:04,642 --> 00:04:06,883 And yet another reason I have to investigate. 80 00:04:06,883 --> 00:04:09,443 I can't have this town thinking ghosts commit crimes. 81 00:04:09,443 --> 00:04:12,082 You can say that again. Ghosts committing crimes? 82 00:04:12,082 --> 00:04:14,283 That guy's a bigger fraud than the tummy tea industry. 83 00:04:14,283 --> 00:04:15,922 Thank you, mysterious stranger. 84 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,882 So nice to meet a fellow rationalist. 85 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,723 What brings you to our grisly crime scene? 86 00:04:19,723 --> 00:04:22,603 Well, I'm Amber and I just moved here with my mom. 87 00:04:22,603 --> 00:04:24,403 She's opening an occult bookstore in town. 88 00:04:24,403 --> 00:04:27,083 - A what? - Amber's our friend Thorne's kid. 89 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:30,922 They sent that pentagram note that made us all gasp on our front stoop. 90 00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,763 I was in a band called The Hex Girls. 91 00:04:32,763 --> 00:04:35,083 We were a real hardcore, witchy goth act. 92 00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:38,283 But now it's time to hang up the old choker and try something more stable. 93 00:04:38,283 --> 00:04:40,403 And that something is occult books? 94 00:04:40,403 --> 00:04:43,362 - But you look so cool, Amber. - The universe is a mysterious place. 95 00:04:43,362 --> 00:04:46,043 And what's cooler than helping people find answers? 96 00:04:46,043 --> 00:04:49,083 The universe is not mysterious. It's governed by physics. 97 00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:50,802 - Classical or quantum? - Both. 98 00:04:50,802 --> 00:04:53,122 But the classical model can't support quantum theory. 99 00:04:53,122 --> 00:04:55,922 Okay, yes. So, technically, that's mysterious, but... 100 00:04:55,922 --> 00:04:57,922 But nothing. If physics doesn't have all the answers, 101 00:04:57,922 --> 00:04:59,763 why not at least consider other ideas? 102 00:04:59,763 --> 00:05:03,122 Wow, Amber. I've never heard anyone beat Velma in an argument. 103 00:05:03,122 --> 00:05:06,083 She didn't beat me. I'm just slowly formulating a response. 104 00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:08,083 You got your ass handed to you. 105 00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:09,802 Okay. You know what? Forget this. 106 00:05:09,802 --> 00:05:12,442 There's been a murder and the only person who can help me solve it 107 00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:14,283 is my old faithful Norville. 108 00:05:15,242 --> 00:05:16,523 Norville? 109 00:05:17,163 --> 00:05:18,763 "Norville, please respond to this." 110 00:05:18,763 --> 00:05:19,963 "I think Victoria is back." 111 00:05:19,963 --> 00:05:22,203 "My mom won't let me investigate, so I need your help." 112 00:05:22,203 --> 00:05:24,442 "And if you've been ignoring me because I told you I love you," 113 00:05:24,442 --> 00:05:26,083 "and then said it was an accident," 114 00:05:26,083 --> 00:05:28,362 "even more reason to talk. I miss you, my friend." 115 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,922 {\an8}Nah, delete. Hey, text me back, dude. 116 00:05:33,562 --> 00:05:35,763 Is that Mr. Swendig? What's he doing here? 117 00:05:35,763 --> 00:05:39,242 Velma, do not embarrass yourself. He's just a brilliant biology teacher 118 00:05:39,242 --> 00:05:42,283 who could get you an internship at any criminology lab you want. 119 00:05:42,283 --> 00:05:44,603 Mr. S? What's your internship doing here? 120 00:05:44,603 --> 00:05:47,322 I thought you weren't back from sabbatical until internship. 121 00:05:47,322 --> 00:05:48,843 - Not bad, Velma. - Velma! 122 00:05:48,843 --> 00:05:50,643 Is that you, or have kids wised up 123 00:05:50,643 --> 00:05:53,362 and started copying your brilliant mix of brains and bangs? 124 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,242 Oh, Mr. S. 125 00:05:57,083 --> 00:05:59,403 If memory serves, this laughter can last a while, 126 00:05:59,403 --> 00:06:00,603 so I'll just continue. 127 00:06:00,603 --> 00:06:03,603 I'm here getting my teaching job back, as my sabbatical is over. 128 00:06:03,603 --> 00:06:05,442 I'd actually love to tell you about it, 129 00:06:05,442 --> 00:06:07,603 and you can tell me about all that happened 130 00:06:07,603 --> 00:06:09,122 to you and your lovely mother. 131 00:06:09,122 --> 00:06:10,843 We used to have flirty conversations 132 00:06:10,843 --> 00:06:12,283 about whether you should be medicated. 133 00:06:12,283 --> 00:06:14,322 Better times, Mr. S. Better times. 134 00:06:14,322 --> 00:06:16,562 But we can talk about it in biology class tomorrow. 135 00:06:16,562 --> 00:06:17,882 Internship! 136 00:06:17,882 --> 00:06:19,963 Definitely should be medicated. 137 00:06:23,043 --> 00:06:24,682 You! 138 00:06:24,682 --> 00:06:26,523 Just take a bite, Norville, and he'll be gone. 139 00:06:29,763 --> 00:06:31,163 Someone has the munchies. 140 00:06:31,163 --> 00:06:34,163 Totally. I'm totally not stress eating because I killed Fred's mom. 141 00:06:34,682 --> 00:06:36,922 Accidentally killed Fred's mom, son. 142 00:06:36,922 --> 00:06:39,122 You have to forgive yourself and more importantly 143 00:06:39,122 --> 00:06:41,682 smoke all that weed I gave you. It helps. 144 00:06:41,682 --> 00:06:44,403 I so am. I smoke so much, 145 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,403 people think I'm from Northern California. 146 00:06:46,403 --> 00:06:48,362 Good. I hate watching you suffer. 147 00:06:48,362 --> 00:06:51,163 And blazing a fat one really helps me with that. 148 00:06:51,163 --> 00:06:53,643 I still can't get the blood out of your V-neck, sweetie. 149 00:06:53,643 --> 00:06:56,122 So I picked up this crewneck T-shirt for you. 150 00:06:56,122 --> 00:06:59,242 Thanks, Mom. I don't know what I'd do without you. Oh, crap! 151 00:06:59,242 --> 00:07:01,682 Oh, you don't know what you'd do without your mom. 152 00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:03,562 Well, maybe I can paint a picture. 153 00:07:03,562 --> 00:07:05,482 Please, don't. I get it. I'm sorry. 154 00:07:05,482 --> 00:07:08,682 Because my mom's dead because you killed her! 155 00:07:10,242 --> 00:07:13,122 Talking to yourself. Now, I know you're high. 156 00:07:19,763 --> 00:07:22,643 Now, Fredo. This holy water will protect you 157 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:25,322 from the scaries and the spookies. 158 00:07:25,322 --> 00:07:28,283 Fred, there you are. Why are you at a church? 159 00:07:28,283 --> 00:07:29,442 Are you religious now? 160 00:07:29,442 --> 00:07:32,083 I thought rich guys only worshipped Ayn Rand and feet. 161 00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:33,843 We do. But I had to become Catholic 162 00:07:33,843 --> 00:07:36,682 for my spooky stuff hunting business. Customers expect it. 163 00:07:36,682 --> 00:07:38,643 - You have customers? - Tons. 164 00:07:38,643 --> 00:07:41,203 And in almost every scary movie and TV show, 165 00:07:41,203 --> 00:07:43,643 spooky stuff is only scared of crosses and holy water. 166 00:07:43,643 --> 00:07:46,203 And business is all about giving people what they want. 167 00:07:46,203 --> 00:07:48,002 I even got my dogs on the team. 168 00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:50,322 It's a gimmick, but it works. 169 00:07:50,322 --> 00:07:52,922 - Anyway. What's up? - I need your objective opinion. 170 00:07:52,922 --> 00:07:55,403 Do you think Velma has feelings for Norville? 171 00:07:55,403 --> 00:07:59,843 Well, on the one hand, I hate Norville for killing my mother. 172 00:07:59,843 --> 00:08:02,882 But on the other, under his dorky demeanor, 173 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:06,442 bad clothes and good grades, he is objectively hot. 174 00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,963 His bone structure is insane. 175 00:08:08,403 --> 00:08:11,562 But on the third hand, Velma's your oldest friend. 176 00:08:11,562 --> 00:08:14,723 If she says she doesn't have feelings for him, I'd trust her. 177 00:08:14,723 --> 00:08:17,682 Fred, you're right. That was shockingly thoughtful. 178 00:08:17,682 --> 00:08:19,362 Maybe religion actually suits you. 179 00:08:19,362 --> 00:08:22,203 Maybe. But if you wanna make out to get back at Velma, 180 00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:23,603 I'm down for that, too. 181 00:08:27,242 --> 00:08:30,523 Okay, if no one believes me that Victoria might still be alive, 182 00:08:30,523 --> 00:08:33,363 then I have to do the one thing I swore I never would. 183 00:08:33,962 --> 00:08:35,562 Manual labor. 184 00:08:40,883 --> 00:08:42,043 Hello? 185 00:08:44,442 --> 00:08:45,722 Who's there? 186 00:08:55,682 --> 00:08:56,962 Where'd they go? 187 00:08:57,442 --> 00:09:00,363 Their sneaker. Oh, I got you, sucker. 188 00:09:04,722 --> 00:09:05,883 You were attacked? 189 00:09:05,883 --> 00:09:08,403 Yes, but now I can pull a print off their shoe 190 00:09:08,403 --> 00:09:09,643 once my mom goes to sleep. 191 00:09:09,643 --> 00:09:11,682 She made me promise I wouldn't solve mysteries anymore. 192 00:09:12,163 --> 00:09:14,163 Mysteries? What are you talking about? 193 00:09:14,163 --> 00:09:16,003 And don't cleverly change the subject. 194 00:09:16,003 --> 00:09:18,442 But did I tell you Mr. S is back? 195 00:09:18,442 --> 00:09:21,283 Oh, Mr. S? Damn it, Velma! 196 00:09:21,283 --> 00:09:24,322 Mom, please. Solving mysteries is not that big a deal. 197 00:09:24,322 --> 00:09:27,163 I mean, you're still writing them. And no one's even asking you to. 198 00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:30,682 - Actually, I've stopped writing. - Oh, no. Why? 199 00:09:30,682 --> 00:09:33,523 Because my last book almost got your brain ripped out! 200 00:09:33,523 --> 00:09:36,243 I'm sorry, but I love you too much to let you investigate. 201 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,123 The cops can find Cogburn's killer. No more mysteries. 202 00:09:39,123 --> 00:09:41,922 Seriously, I am gonna be on you like brown on rice. 203 00:09:41,922 --> 00:09:43,523 The worst kind of rice. 204 00:09:45,123 --> 00:09:46,722 Okay, so, as you all know, 205 00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:49,483 the Creaky Friday school fundraiser we planned is coming up. 206 00:09:51,403 --> 00:09:53,842 - Velma? - Oh, sorry. Whoo! 207 00:09:53,842 --> 00:09:57,123 Velma, come on! Being popular isn't just all partying 208 00:09:57,123 --> 00:09:59,243 and eating yogurt on museum steps. 209 00:09:59,243 --> 00:10:01,202 There's work involved! Focus up. 210 00:10:01,202 --> 00:10:03,403 Sorry, my mom is watching my every move, 211 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:06,363 but she's about to realize her nicotine gum isn't in her purse, 212 00:10:06,363 --> 00:10:08,123 center console or bra. 213 00:10:10,202 --> 00:10:11,643 I need to go. No time to explain. 214 00:10:11,643 --> 00:10:13,722 And don't guess, because that's solving a mystery. 215 00:10:15,403 --> 00:10:16,802 And... Go time. 216 00:10:17,562 --> 00:10:20,123 Gotcha. Now, I just need to run it through the police database. 217 00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:22,283 We can use my mom's computer at home. 218 00:10:22,283 --> 00:10:24,283 They're running to replace Cogburn for sheriff, 219 00:10:24,283 --> 00:10:25,883 so they'll be out of the house all day 220 00:10:25,883 --> 00:10:28,043 with Thorne and Amber planning their campaign kickoff party. 221 00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:29,962 Hey, what's up with this new Amber person? 222 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,483 They seem super cool, but I always feel safer going along 223 00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:34,202 with y'all's opinions of people. 224 00:10:34,202 --> 00:10:37,962 Amber seemed cool at first, but is basically a boring know-it-all. 225 00:10:37,962 --> 00:10:40,562 I think we should ostracize them until they transfer schools. 226 00:10:40,562 --> 00:10:43,523 Velma's just mad because she lost an argument to Amber. 227 00:10:43,523 --> 00:10:45,483 Like, was destroyed. 228 00:10:45,483 --> 00:10:48,602 No, I'm mad because when Amber, who Daphne just met, 229 00:10:48,602 --> 00:10:50,842 tells Daphne something insane, she's amazed. 230 00:10:50,842 --> 00:10:53,043 But when I, Daphne oldest friend, 231 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:56,163 tell Daphne something totally rational, she's completely dismissive. 232 00:10:56,163 --> 00:10:59,883 I get that. Though, Amber does have a certain magnetism about them. 233 00:10:59,883 --> 00:11:03,322 Also, you're right. I have been dismissive. 234 00:11:03,322 --> 00:11:06,682 But now I believe you don't have feelings for Norville. 235 00:11:07,643 --> 00:11:11,003 What convinced you, Daphne? Was it my increasingly unhinged texts? 236 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,243 Because I will abuse that. 237 00:11:12,243 --> 00:11:15,922 No, I just realized you're right about friends needing to trust each other. 238 00:11:15,922 --> 00:11:17,082 That's amazing. 239 00:11:17,082 --> 00:11:19,363 And when we run the fingerprint we can make us official 240 00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:21,082 by picking our cutesy couple name. 241 00:11:21,082 --> 00:11:23,442 I'm thinking, Velma and Daphne. 242 00:11:23,442 --> 00:11:25,483 I love it, but come over in a bit. 243 00:11:25,483 --> 00:11:27,483 I need to hide my cats before you arrive. 244 00:11:27,483 --> 00:11:29,403 While I've forgiven you, they have not. 245 00:11:33,802 --> 00:11:34,883 Everything okay? 246 00:11:34,883 --> 00:11:37,842 You shouldn't be sighing like that until you've been together at least a year. 247 00:11:37,842 --> 00:11:40,802 I don't know. All I've wanted is to be with Daphne, 248 00:11:40,802 --> 00:11:43,363 but now that I am, something feels off. 249 00:11:43,363 --> 00:11:46,202 Because you also told Sonia Sotomayor that you loved her. 250 00:11:46,202 --> 00:11:48,802 No, not my precious Soso. I'm talking about... 251 00:11:48,802 --> 00:11:50,763 Fred, please. I'm sorry! 252 00:11:50,763 --> 00:11:54,163 Norville, I will never accept your apology for killing my mom! 253 00:11:54,163 --> 00:11:56,483 No matter how well you're pulling off that crewneck! 254 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,682 Jinx! Staircase! To the van-mobile! 255 00:12:02,283 --> 00:12:03,322 My shoe! 256 00:12:03,883 --> 00:12:07,202 Fred, your dumb dog's destroyed my one piece of hard evidence. 257 00:12:07,202 --> 00:12:10,003 Oh, did they? Well, maybe I'd be more sympathetic 258 00:12:10,003 --> 00:12:13,163 if you hadn't tried to dig up my mom last night! 259 00:12:13,163 --> 00:12:16,082 I found your shovel while kissing her tombstone this morning. 260 00:12:16,082 --> 00:12:20,123 Now, excuse me as I go find Cogburn's actual killer 261 00:12:20,123 --> 00:12:22,483 and keep you from sullying mother's name. 262 00:12:22,483 --> 00:12:26,043 You just better pray the church never teaches me attack spells. 263 00:12:28,562 --> 00:12:31,322 Norville, I know you're mad at me, but I have to follow Fred. 264 00:12:31,322 --> 00:12:32,802 And maybe we can catch up? 265 00:12:32,802 --> 00:12:35,243 Okay. Just promise you won't talk about anything 266 00:12:35,243 --> 00:12:37,202 that's happened to us. 267 00:12:37,842 --> 00:12:40,842 Of course. I have so many more interesting things to talk about 268 00:12:40,842 --> 00:12:42,202 than you and me. 269 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,643 So, how's it going, amigo? 270 00:12:46,643 --> 00:12:49,043 Are you ready for our Espanol test manana? 271 00:12:49,043 --> 00:12:51,602 Okay, sorry. I can't do this. I have to talk about us. 272 00:12:51,602 --> 00:12:52,682 Why won't you text me back? 273 00:12:53,283 --> 00:12:55,003 Velma, I have a lot going on. 274 00:12:55,003 --> 00:12:56,363 I'm not really thinking about our dynamic. 275 00:12:56,363 --> 00:12:58,283 Nothing destroys a vibe like killing your friend's mother. 276 00:12:58,283 --> 00:13:01,003 But Norville, you killed her in self-defense. It was an accident. 277 00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:03,962 Velma, I'm serious. If I talk about this, I'll start to hallucinate. 278 00:13:03,962 --> 00:13:05,043 Mother? 279 00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:08,962 Mother, why aren't you making me walk home from my ballet recital? 280 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:12,322 Oh, right, because Norville killed you! 281 00:13:12,322 --> 00:13:13,602 Norville, watch out! 282 00:13:13,602 --> 00:13:16,763 I can't! My guilt is causing me to hallucinate! 283 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:19,363 You killed my mom, She was the bomb! 284 00:13:21,523 --> 00:13:23,003 Will laughing make them stop? 285 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:25,763 Because I'm more of a satirist that makes you think. 286 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,602 No, stress eating is the only thing that stops them. 287 00:13:27,602 --> 00:13:29,003 But I don't have any snacks! 288 00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:31,562 Stress eating? Maybe there's food in your glove compartment. 289 00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:34,123 - No, Velma, stop! - Hold, on. What's this? 290 00:13:34,123 --> 00:13:35,483 Why do you have this? 291 00:13:35,483 --> 00:13:37,643 This is the same kind of shoe I found in the cemetery. 292 00:13:37,643 --> 00:13:38,763 Did you attack me? 293 00:13:38,763 --> 00:13:40,962 Velma, I'll explain after you give me the snacks. 294 00:13:40,962 --> 00:13:42,682 Please! We're going to die! 295 00:13:42,682 --> 00:13:44,243 Norville. Can we keep him? 296 00:13:44,243 --> 00:13:46,883 His name is my mom because he's dead! 297 00:13:48,082 --> 00:13:49,562 You already tried to kill me last night. 298 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:52,082 At least, if we both die, I can torment you in hell. 299 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:55,523 Velma, you're my best friend. I need you to trust me. 300 00:13:55,523 --> 00:13:59,802 Trust you? You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. 301 00:13:59,802 --> 00:14:02,322 Here. But why do you have this shoe? 302 00:14:02,322 --> 00:14:04,962 Okay, so when I heard Cogburn was murdered, 303 00:14:04,962 --> 00:14:07,763 I also wondered if Victoria had somehow survived and killed him. 304 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,202 So, I went to investigate 305 00:14:09,202 --> 00:14:11,922 because if she's alive, I can let go of all this guilt. 306 00:14:11,922 --> 00:14:13,163 But when you were attacked, 307 00:14:13,163 --> 00:14:15,562 I hallucinated that Fred's mom wasn't there to fix his posture. 308 00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:18,243 Mother, where are you? My back feels weird. 309 00:14:18,802 --> 00:14:20,722 And I couldn't help you. I'm sorry. 310 00:14:20,722 --> 00:14:24,043 But I kept your attacker's other shoe because I thought it might help you. 311 00:14:24,043 --> 00:14:26,962 Help me feel like a jerk for ever suspecting you? 312 00:14:26,962 --> 00:14:30,003 - No, because it's a clue. - Right. Of course. 313 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:33,722 Norville, I owe you a huge apology but it'll have to wait. 314 00:14:33,722 --> 00:14:35,043 We just passed Fred's van. 315 00:14:37,483 --> 00:14:41,043 Guys, guys. It's okay. Velma and I are good now. 316 00:14:42,763 --> 00:14:45,283 Wait. Why is there an air mattress on my floor? 317 00:14:45,283 --> 00:14:47,883 And why are the vibes in here so abnormally chill? 318 00:14:47,883 --> 00:14:50,962 We're moving in until my mom's occult bookstore takes off, 319 00:14:50,962 --> 00:14:52,643 so possibly forever. Hope that's okay. 320 00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:55,322 I'm fine with it. But Velma is another story. 321 00:14:55,322 --> 00:14:56,602 I need to text her. 322 00:14:56,602 --> 00:14:59,243 "What's your ETA? Do I have time to, say, 323 00:14:59,243 --> 00:15:01,403 throw an air mattress out my window?" 324 00:15:01,403 --> 00:15:04,802 "Can't talk. I'm at funeral home with Norville." 325 00:15:04,802 --> 00:15:06,562 She's with Norville again? 326 00:15:06,562 --> 00:15:09,082 Yeah, they left Spooner's together the same time we did. 327 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,962 - Seemed intense. - Intense? 328 00:15:10,962 --> 00:15:13,483 It's good your moms have been planning this campaign party for weeks 329 00:15:13,483 --> 00:15:15,043 because we got nothing done after that. 330 00:15:15,043 --> 00:15:16,602 Planning it for weeks? 331 00:15:16,602 --> 00:15:19,363 But my moms found Cogburn's body yesterday. 332 00:15:19,363 --> 00:15:21,763 And before that, they thought he was on vacation 333 00:15:21,763 --> 00:15:23,163 or at a problematic rally. 334 00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:25,763 - That was their cover story. - Cover story? 335 00:15:25,763 --> 00:15:28,602 And now I'm sensing I've said too much, so I'm stopping. 336 00:15:31,802 --> 00:15:33,363 Today was Cogburn's funeral? 337 00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:35,643 That's weird. We didn't hear anything about it. 338 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,363 Someone didn't want us here. There must be clues in the body. 339 00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:39,802 Help me open the casket. 340 00:15:39,802 --> 00:15:41,322 Die evil spirit! 341 00:15:41,322 --> 00:15:43,403 Oh, God! I fell asleep in there! 342 00:15:43,403 --> 00:15:44,883 Fred? What are you doing in there? 343 00:15:44,883 --> 00:15:47,722 I was investigating and it's exhausting. 344 00:15:47,722 --> 00:15:50,602 Anyway, Cogburn's body was missing from his own funeral. 345 00:15:51,322 --> 00:15:54,883 So what did your grandma's ghost do with it, Norville? 346 00:15:54,883 --> 00:15:58,523 Fred, please, for the last time, ghosts aren't real. 347 00:15:58,523 --> 00:16:02,643 Until the truth comes out I will be on the war path of revenge! 348 00:16:02,643 --> 00:16:05,562 Oh, God. It's the ghost of Sheriff Cogburn! Hide! 349 00:16:14,403 --> 00:16:17,442 I'm in here with you. Velma. It's just me. 350 00:16:17,442 --> 00:16:19,283 Open up and let me see you! 351 00:16:20,523 --> 00:16:22,363 Step away from the casket, Merle. 352 00:16:22,363 --> 00:16:23,523 Merle? Who, Merle? 353 00:16:23,523 --> 00:16:27,883 No! Sheriff Earl Cogburn was my identical twin brother! 354 00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:31,163 Identical? Every man over 50 looks the same to me, 355 00:16:31,163 --> 00:16:32,842 and even I know that's not true. 356 00:16:32,842 --> 00:16:37,602 We're identical voice twins, the rarest and closest of all twins. 357 00:16:37,602 --> 00:16:41,442 - And I demand to see the body! - And we demand you leave. 358 00:16:41,442 --> 00:16:43,082 This is official police business. 359 00:16:43,082 --> 00:16:46,043 Meaning we can sit on it for years and keep it from the public. 360 00:16:46,043 --> 00:16:47,202 No! 361 00:16:48,562 --> 00:16:50,163 So Cogburn has a brother? 362 00:16:50,163 --> 00:16:52,283 Yeah, I knew it wasn't a ghost. 363 00:16:52,922 --> 00:16:55,082 Cool. Yeah, me, too. 364 00:16:56,043 --> 00:16:58,962 Hey, maybe not the best time, but about the whole 365 00:16:58,962 --> 00:17:01,322 "I love you" imbroglio, as it were... 366 00:17:01,322 --> 00:17:04,162 Velma, look, as much as I'd love to stop caring for you... 367 00:17:04,162 --> 00:17:06,562 No joke. It would make my life so much better. 368 00:17:06,562 --> 00:17:07,882 I just can't. 369 00:17:09,082 --> 00:17:12,562 Which is why it's weird how little sexual tension I'm feeling right now. 370 00:17:12,562 --> 00:17:14,842 Huh, yeah, I also feel nothing. 371 00:17:14,842 --> 00:17:17,562 Except the general weirdness that goes with being in a coffin. 372 00:17:17,562 --> 00:17:19,602 But if I'm not secretly pining for you, 373 00:17:19,602 --> 00:17:22,243 why am I suddenly doubting my feelings for Daphne? 374 00:17:22,243 --> 00:17:23,963 Was she right not to trust me? 375 00:17:25,402 --> 00:17:28,362 Daphne? You didn't hear us talking right now, did you? 376 00:17:28,362 --> 00:17:30,322 Because it wasn't me. It was a ghost! 377 00:17:30,322 --> 00:17:34,122 No, but I think my moms killed Sheriff Cogburn to take his job. 378 00:17:34,122 --> 00:17:36,043 Wait. So not Victoria? 379 00:17:36,602 --> 00:17:38,842 Well, at least we have a shoe that'll tell us for sure. 380 00:17:40,243 --> 00:17:43,082 You mean, I have a shoe. This is my case, 381 00:17:43,082 --> 00:17:47,122 and I am going to prove it's the ghost of your grandma who did it! 382 00:17:48,322 --> 00:17:51,842 No! That whistle means drop it. 383 00:17:51,842 --> 00:17:54,362 Maybe solving mysteries with dogs is a mistake. 384 00:17:56,602 --> 00:17:59,683 So your moms killed Cogburn in order to take his job. 385 00:17:59,683 --> 00:18:01,162 But why hide his body? 386 00:18:01,162 --> 00:18:04,402 No, the real question is, how do we investigate them 387 00:18:04,402 --> 00:18:06,162 without them finding out? 388 00:18:06,162 --> 00:18:08,043 Their campaign kickoff party is tomorrow. 389 00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:10,082 We can look for clues at your house while they're out. 390 00:18:10,082 --> 00:18:12,842 Sure. But how do you leave the fundraiser without Diya noticing? 391 00:18:15,523 --> 00:18:19,162 Yes. As sad as we are that Sheriff Cogburn died 392 00:18:19,162 --> 00:18:21,602 the silver lining is there's no other way 393 00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:23,763 we would have this chance to be co-sheriffs. 394 00:18:23,763 --> 00:18:25,683 Politics is all luck. 395 00:18:25,683 --> 00:18:28,283 I never would've become mayor if my opponent hadn't drowned 396 00:18:28,283 --> 00:18:29,443 in my bathtub. 397 00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:31,523 This is exactly like that. 398 00:18:32,963 --> 00:18:34,122 You better stick close to me. 399 00:18:34,122 --> 00:18:36,243 Don't you dare give me the slip again like at Spooner's. 400 00:18:36,243 --> 00:18:37,483 Mom, look! It's Mr. S! 401 00:18:38,362 --> 00:18:41,562 - Mr. S. - Diya, Velma said you'd be here. 402 00:18:41,562 --> 00:18:45,162 She also said you spent two years in a cave and need "it" so bad 403 00:18:45,162 --> 00:18:46,243 you can't see straight. 404 00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:47,443 Velma! 405 00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:49,602 I told you to ignore what I say in my sleep. 406 00:18:49,602 --> 00:18:52,802 Regardless, you are staying at your father's tonight. Now, get. 407 00:18:53,443 --> 00:18:54,802 Daphne, it worked. 408 00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:02,642 Yes. I can absolutely prove your house was burned down by a ghost. 409 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,723 It hasn't burned yet. 410 00:19:04,723 --> 00:19:06,842 The ghost is still calculating the insurance. 411 00:19:06,842 --> 00:19:10,523 Fred! Enough with your ridiculous spooky stuff hunting business. 412 00:19:10,523 --> 00:19:13,283 Our family name can only take so much embarrassment. 413 00:19:19,122 --> 00:19:20,483 Norville. 414 00:19:20,483 --> 00:19:22,283 This is what the pioneers smoked. 415 00:19:22,283 --> 00:19:24,963 And kids who get high with their parents always turn out great. 416 00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:26,642 But I have something I need to do. 417 00:19:27,963 --> 00:19:30,402 We've looked everywhere for evidence and found nothing. 418 00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:32,243 Though, kudos. If your moms aren't killers, 419 00:19:32,243 --> 00:19:34,122 they're way better at it than being cops. 420 00:19:34,122 --> 00:19:35,243 You sure? 421 00:19:35,243 --> 00:19:38,443 Because it seems like we just caught you two acting really stupid. 422 00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:41,642 Oh, God! You did kill Cogburn! I promise we won't tell. 423 00:19:41,642 --> 00:19:43,642 Though, we should consider doing a podcast about it. 424 00:19:43,642 --> 00:19:46,483 - People would listen. - Velma, we didn't kill Cogburn. 425 00:19:46,483 --> 00:19:48,763 We've just been trying to protect you from the truth. 426 00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:50,882 But then Amber spilled the beans 427 00:19:50,882 --> 00:19:53,443 like they were making burritos in an earthquake. 428 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:54,642 Amber. Am I right? 429 00:19:54,642 --> 00:19:57,923 It's true. We only found Cogburn's body in the woods yesterday, 430 00:19:57,923 --> 00:20:00,162 but this is from three weeks ago. 431 00:20:00,162 --> 00:20:02,882 I am here in the Police Department records room, 432 00:20:02,882 --> 00:20:05,642 where it appears Sheriff Cogburn was murdered. 433 00:20:05,642 --> 00:20:08,602 We're not sure. There's no body. Just this... 434 00:20:10,003 --> 00:20:12,162 Donna, sweetie, don't puke on that. 435 00:20:12,162 --> 00:20:13,283 It's evidence. 436 00:20:13,283 --> 00:20:15,362 You knew Cogburn was killed three weeks ago? 437 00:20:15,362 --> 00:20:17,602 Why hide that and start planning your campaign? 438 00:20:17,602 --> 00:20:19,963 You wanna be a sheriff, not a congressman from Florida. 439 00:20:19,963 --> 00:20:22,162 Velma, this case is like recycling. 440 00:20:22,162 --> 00:20:25,043 The less you actually know about it, the happier you'll be. 441 00:20:25,043 --> 00:20:27,003 Wait. Is that my mom's cold case file? 442 00:20:27,003 --> 00:20:29,562 Why is that evidence? And where are Dr. Perdue's journals? 443 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,602 They were in the file when I gave it back to Cogburn. 444 00:20:31,923 --> 00:20:35,523 - Could that be why he was killed? - Do you mean Dr. Edna Perdue? 445 00:20:35,523 --> 00:20:38,523 Mr. S was just talking about her at the fundraiser. 446 00:20:38,523 --> 00:20:42,003 - He's, like, obsessed with her. - What? Mr. S! 447 00:20:42,003 --> 00:20:44,602 Oh, my God, Daphne. I think we might have pimped my mom out 448 00:20:44,602 --> 00:20:46,283 to Cogburn's actual murderer. 449 00:20:49,003 --> 00:20:52,162 Hey, Fred. I'm not here to ask you to accept my apology 450 00:20:52,162 --> 00:20:54,243 for accidentally killing your mom again. 451 00:20:54,243 --> 00:20:57,003 I just want to say that my dad doesn't get me either. 452 00:20:57,483 --> 00:21:00,203 But while I agree with him that your business is ridiculous, 453 00:21:00,203 --> 00:21:02,882 you still made it a success through pure hustle. 454 00:21:03,882 --> 00:21:07,723 A nerd likes me. Now I know what a fanny pack feels like. 455 00:21:07,723 --> 00:21:09,882 Okay. Well, I mean it. 456 00:21:09,882 --> 00:21:12,923 Like, I mean it when I say I'm sorry I accidentally killed your mom. 457 00:21:14,162 --> 00:21:16,243 Fine. Apology accepted. 458 00:21:16,243 --> 00:21:18,763 I forgive you, though, mostly because I have to 459 00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:20,683 on account of my new faith. 460 00:21:20,683 --> 00:21:22,723 But you take the bad with the good. 461 00:21:22,723 --> 00:21:24,683 Wait. We've been talking about your mom 462 00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,043 and I haven't hallucinated. 463 00:21:26,043 --> 00:21:28,642 You accepting my apology must have cured them, Fred. 464 00:21:28,642 --> 00:21:32,243 - So are we good? - Good? No, we're not good. 465 00:21:32,243 --> 00:21:35,483 You killed me, Norville, and I'll never let you forget it. 466 00:21:38,203 --> 00:21:39,802 Fred. Quick. I need a snack. 467 00:21:39,802 --> 00:21:43,003 All they have are baby carrots and even I don't hate you that much. 468 00:21:44,122 --> 00:21:47,523 Mom! Please don't be dead or having sex. 469 00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:49,523 Oh, God. No, Mom. 470 00:21:49,523 --> 00:21:51,362 It's worse that I thought. You're writing. 471 00:21:51,362 --> 00:21:53,362 I mean, what's going on? 472 00:21:53,362 --> 00:21:54,963 Where's Mr. S? Did he try to kill you? 473 00:21:54,963 --> 00:21:57,562 Kill me? I've never felt more alive. 474 00:21:57,562 --> 00:21:59,362 I'm writing again. 475 00:21:59,362 --> 00:22:01,003 I know I said I was scared to do it, 476 00:22:01,003 --> 00:22:03,523 but as that perfect ass held me in his arms, 477 00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:07,362 I realized I can't live life and be afraid of it. 478 00:22:07,362 --> 00:22:10,362 So does that mean you'll let me continue solving mysteries? 479 00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:12,882 Where's Mr. S? Did he kill Cogburn? 480 00:22:12,882 --> 00:22:14,362 And if he didn't, can we say he did? 481 00:22:14,362 --> 00:22:16,443 A suspect would really help our campaign. 482 00:22:16,443 --> 00:22:19,362 I really want to say no. But given the other options in this town, 483 00:22:19,362 --> 00:22:21,562 maybe it's best if you do keep solving mysteries. 484 00:22:24,763 --> 00:22:27,043 So, I've been thinking, and you're right. 485 00:22:27,043 --> 00:22:29,562 It wasn't an accident I told Norville I loved him. 486 00:22:29,562 --> 00:22:32,322 Okay, well, I appreciate you telling me 487 00:22:32,322 --> 00:22:34,963 and having the courage to do it within punching distance. 488 00:22:34,963 --> 00:22:37,162 No, look, I thought my mom was overreacting 489 00:22:37,162 --> 00:22:39,723 about mysteries being dangerous but she wasn't. 490 00:22:39,723 --> 00:22:43,842 If you ever got hurt because I was solving a mystery, I'd literally die. 491 00:22:43,842 --> 00:22:47,162 So you've been protecting me this whole time. 492 00:22:47,162 --> 00:22:49,523 That's so romantic. But now what? 493 00:22:49,523 --> 00:22:51,683 I'm not sure, but I know for a fact 494 00:22:51,683 --> 00:22:54,203 that whatever's brewing is even bigger than last time. 495 00:22:54,203 --> 00:22:57,842 And I know for a fact that as long as we're together, we'll be fine. 496 00:22:57,842 --> 00:23:00,402 - We're soulmates. - Soulmates? 497 00:23:00,842 --> 00:23:03,402 Daphne, that term was invented by the publishing industry 498 00:23:03,402 --> 00:23:05,683 to sell books about vampires boning werewolves. 499 00:23:05,683 --> 00:23:08,203 No, it wasn't. Everyone believes in soulmates. 500 00:23:08,203 --> 00:23:10,322 We're teenage girls, not divorce lawyers. 501 00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:12,243 Sure, the sentiment of a soul is nice, 502 00:23:12,243 --> 00:23:14,402 but the only immutable essence inside of me 503 00:23:14,402 --> 00:23:17,003 is Beyonce's incomparable "If I Were a Boy". 504 00:23:17,003 --> 00:23:19,642 So you just think we're what? Intelligent meat? 505 00:23:19,642 --> 00:23:21,842 Don't be reductive. I think we're horny meat. 506 00:23:21,842 --> 00:23:25,362 Yeah, well, this meat has never been less horny. 507 00:23:26,043 --> 00:23:27,362 Daphne, I'm sorry. 508 00:23:27,362 --> 00:23:30,082 Can't we just be mature about this and make out a little bit? 509 00:23:30,642 --> 00:23:32,683 She took the sock off the door, so I'm going to bed. 510 00:23:33,003 --> 00:23:34,802 What? You live here now? 511 00:23:48,882 --> 00:23:50,723 "What do you know about Dr. Edna Perdue?" 512 00:23:50,723 --> 00:23:53,602 "And like, women in general? I'm having some problems with my girl." 513 00:23:53,602 --> 00:23:55,602 "I'll tell you everything you want to know tomorrow 514 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:58,882 if you tell your mom I'm not looking for a relationship." 515 00:24:00,642 --> 00:24:01,842 What? 516 00:24:02,162 --> 00:24:03,842 Hello, dear? 517 00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:06,043 If you've found a cold sore, I can explain. 518 00:24:06,043 --> 00:24:07,802 I have herpes. 519 00:24:09,043 --> 00:24:10,122 Hello?