1 00:00:05,043 --> 00:00:06,483 Previously on Velma... 2 00:00:07,642 --> 00:00:08,882 It's Sheriff Cogburn! 3 00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:12,763 What do you mean you need to exhume my mother's body? 4 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,562 Seriously? I don't know what that means. 5 00:00:14,562 --> 00:00:17,643 It means I wanna dig her up and make sure she's truly dead. 6 00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:20,683 Wait, is that my mom's cold case file? Why is that evidence? 7 00:00:20,683 --> 00:00:22,242 And where are Dr. Perdue's journals? 8 00:00:22,242 --> 00:00:24,282 They were in the file when I gave it back to Cogburn. 9 00:00:24,282 --> 00:00:26,602 Could that be why he was killed? 10 00:00:26,602 --> 00:00:30,323 - So, are we good? - Good? No, we're not good. 11 00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:33,522 You killed me, Norville, and I'll never let you forget it. 12 00:00:37,842 --> 00:00:38,963 Hello? 13 00:00:45,202 --> 00:00:47,842 Not gonna lie. Being popular doesn't suck. 14 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,802 People finally laugh at my hilarious jokes. 15 00:00:53,563 --> 00:00:56,122 I get Moses privileges during sporting events. 16 00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:00,683 People even copy my style. 17 00:01:01,802 --> 00:01:05,402 But you do occasionally have to get behind some pretty dumb shit. 18 00:01:05,402 --> 00:01:09,603 Velma! Why did I just find a whole stack of Creaky Friday flyers 19 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,083 you were supposed to hand out, in the trash? 20 00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:13,922 Yeah. I don't know. I handed out all of mine. 21 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:19,002 Okay, look. I just think this town has so many problems. 22 00:01:19,002 --> 00:01:21,043 Homelessness, a missing murdered sheriff, 23 00:01:21,043 --> 00:01:22,842 and not one decent Thai place. 24 00:01:22,842 --> 00:01:26,803 Why focus on oiling Crystal Cove's famously spooky creaking doors? 25 00:01:28,642 --> 00:01:30,482 Well, because it's a tradition. 26 00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:33,362 And when else do popular girls get to make losers do their bidding 27 00:01:33,362 --> 00:01:34,723 in the name of charity? 28 00:01:34,723 --> 00:01:38,043 This is our Christmas. So, promise us you handed out your other flyers. 29 00:01:38,043 --> 00:01:39,243 I promise. 30 00:01:45,963 --> 00:01:48,323 Hey, Daph, guess what? After biology class, 31 00:01:48,323 --> 00:01:50,122 Mr. S is gonna tell me what he knows 32 00:01:50,122 --> 00:01:51,922 about Dr. Perdue's missing journals, 33 00:01:51,922 --> 00:01:54,282 and if they're tied to Sheriff Cogburn's murder. 34 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:57,803 Cool. Maybe Cogburn and Dr. Perdue were soul mates. 35 00:01:57,803 --> 00:02:01,163 And I'm not just saying soul mates because you hate the word soul mates. 36 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,282 Soul mates. 37 00:02:06,202 --> 00:02:08,682 Hey, Lola, I was wondering if... 38 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:12,163 You'll never escape me, Norville. Never! 39 00:02:14,242 --> 00:02:16,723 Well, that was weird. Usually men don't stop hitting on me 40 00:02:16,723 --> 00:02:18,362 until I bring up astrology. 41 00:02:19,323 --> 00:02:20,482 Where's Mr. S? 42 00:02:20,482 --> 00:02:22,883 Sure, he's handsome, but only cool people are late. 43 00:02:22,883 --> 00:02:25,403 And he has four graphic tees about mitosis. 44 00:02:25,403 --> 00:02:26,642 He's not here yet. 45 00:02:26,642 --> 00:02:30,802 And I'm sensing strong, negative forces are at play. Or wait. 46 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,082 Maybe traffic. 47 00:02:32,082 --> 00:02:35,403 Attention, students. I have some sensitive information. 48 00:02:35,403 --> 00:02:38,443 Mr. S is missing. And we know he didn't quit, 49 00:02:38,443 --> 00:02:41,642 because teachers really make a meal out of it when they do. 50 00:02:42,482 --> 00:02:45,482 Oh, God! Who will write my college recommendation letter? 51 00:02:45,482 --> 00:02:47,642 And only a week after Cogburn was killed. 52 00:02:47,642 --> 00:02:49,323 Another middle-aged white guy. 53 00:02:49,323 --> 00:02:51,202 Is someone targeting smartwatch users? 54 00:02:51,202 --> 00:02:53,242 - Now, for those of you... - Fred! 55 00:02:53,242 --> 00:02:56,682 {\an8}You think Mr. S's disappearance is connected to Cogburn's murder, too. 56 00:02:56,682 --> 00:02:58,323 Leave me alone, Velma. 57 00:02:58,323 --> 00:02:59,802 What's that picture of? Your mom? 58 00:02:59,802 --> 00:03:02,163 And that's not just a classic burn. I'm serious. 59 00:03:02,163 --> 00:03:05,283 I still think she's somehow alive and out for revenge. 60 00:03:05,283 --> 00:03:07,723 Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint, but this picture proves 61 00:03:07,723 --> 00:03:10,723 my mom didn't kill Cogburn, because she's dead. 62 00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:13,642 And finally, we know Mr. S is your teacher, 63 00:03:13,642 --> 00:03:17,323 but this is official police business. We don't need your help. 64 00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:19,242 So, if we catch any of you investigating, 65 00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:22,802 you'll be in cuffs faster than a startup founder with a weird voice. 66 00:03:24,922 --> 00:03:29,403 "But in the end, was I kid-napped, or adult-found?" 67 00:03:29,802 --> 00:03:32,362 {\an8}Wow. I am finally hitting my stride. 68 00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:35,482 {\an8}Which means, I've earned a break and can text Mr. S. 69 00:03:37,123 --> 00:03:39,003 He can't even heart one text? 70 00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,163 Jerk! 71 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:44,283 Oh, damn it! 72 00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:50,883 Fred. Mr. S is now missing. If you really want me to think 73 00:03:50,883 --> 00:03:54,563 your mom hasn't returned to kill more people, show me the picture. 74 00:03:54,563 --> 00:03:56,603 No! The police don't want us investigating. 75 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:59,883 And if the church has taught me anything, it's to question nothing. 76 00:04:00,603 --> 00:04:02,443 I have to see that picture. But how? 77 00:04:02,762 --> 00:04:04,482 LOCKSMITH Locked out of a locker? 78 00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:06,723 No. Stupid. 79 00:04:06,723 --> 00:04:07,843 Need answers? Sometimes they're in front of you! 80 00:04:07,843 --> 00:04:08,883 Useless. 81 00:04:10,123 --> 00:04:11,563 Creaky Friday. That's it. 82 00:04:13,403 --> 00:04:15,883 I need to be partnered with Fred for Creaky Friday tomorrow. 83 00:04:15,883 --> 00:04:17,882 He has evidence, and I can only make him show it to me 84 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,643 if we're stuck together all day. 85 00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:22,203 Velma, I get it. But we can't just violate 86 00:04:22,203 --> 00:04:24,963 Creaky Friday's sacred random pairing traditions. 87 00:04:24,963 --> 00:04:26,203 Sacred traditions? 88 00:04:26,203 --> 00:04:29,682 This is oiling hinges, not some old legend worthy of a montage. 89 00:04:29,682 --> 00:04:31,403 What are you talking about, Velma? 90 00:04:31,403 --> 00:04:34,083 Creaky Friday began in the 1890s, 91 00:04:34,083 --> 00:04:37,523 when our whole town was on edge from breathing crystal mining dust. 92 00:04:40,723 --> 00:04:42,562 Thirty-seven people died that year. 93 00:04:43,963 --> 00:04:45,523 To avoid further tragedy, 94 00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:48,322 Crystal Cove's first popular girl, Helen Creaky, 95 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,482 paid the schoolchildren to oil all the door hinges in town. 96 00:04:52,562 --> 00:04:54,523 And to ensure they didn't goof off, 97 00:04:55,283 --> 00:04:58,442 Helen used balls of lead to pair them randomly. 98 00:04:58,843 --> 00:05:02,122 The pairings were so awkward, the students oiled hinges 99 00:05:02,122 --> 00:05:03,362 to avoid conversation. 100 00:05:03,723 --> 00:05:06,163 And yes, that year, 20 people still died, 101 00:05:06,163 --> 00:05:07,682 but only from lead poisoning. 102 00:05:08,362 --> 00:05:12,242 And so, the sacred tradition of populars randomly pairing students 103 00:05:12,242 --> 00:05:14,043 for Creaky Friday, was born. 104 00:05:14,043 --> 00:05:16,362 And we will not tempt fate by pairing you with Fred. 105 00:05:16,362 --> 00:05:18,723 Brenda merely thought about rigging Creaky Friday 106 00:05:18,723 --> 00:05:21,362 so she could win it last year. And look at her now. 107 00:05:23,242 --> 00:05:24,562 Cursed with late lunch. 108 00:05:29,242 --> 00:05:31,523 Norville, why do you keep looking at me? 109 00:05:31,523 --> 00:05:33,843 You could at least help me open my textbook. 110 00:05:33,843 --> 00:05:38,122 No. I wanted to know if you'd wanna hang out sometime. 111 00:05:38,122 --> 00:05:40,763 I thought, maybe, I could make your life a little easier 112 00:05:40,763 --> 00:05:42,523 by building you a transport device. 113 00:05:42,523 --> 00:05:45,362 Awesome. We'd love a transport device. 114 00:05:46,043 --> 00:05:47,963 "We"? Who is "we"? 115 00:05:47,963 --> 00:05:50,763 We are, four limbs. And you'd travel in a pack, too, 116 00:05:50,763 --> 00:05:52,362 if people kept trying to recycle you. 117 00:05:52,362 --> 00:05:54,603 Hey, I'm glass, not plastic, idiot. 118 00:06:01,843 --> 00:06:04,242 Why are we breaking into the yearbook office again? 119 00:06:04,242 --> 00:06:07,122 You know I can't edit the sneeze out of your yearbook photo. 120 00:06:07,122 --> 00:06:09,002 - And it's cute. - I know. 121 00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,922 I'm putting metal shavings in my and Fred's Ping-Pong balls, 122 00:06:11,922 --> 00:06:13,763 so I can use a magnet to pair us up. 123 00:06:13,763 --> 00:06:15,763 You're rigging Creaky Friday? 124 00:06:15,763 --> 00:06:17,523 - That is a bad idea. - Wait. 125 00:06:17,523 --> 00:06:20,002 Please tell me that in addition to believing in soulmates, 126 00:06:20,002 --> 00:06:21,682 you're not also superstitious. 127 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,562 It's bad enough our town just started allowing women onto ships. 128 00:06:24,562 --> 00:06:27,203 A little. But I'm upset because if you're rigging it, 129 00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:31,043 there's no way for fate to pair us up and prove to you that we're... 130 00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:32,603 You know. 131 00:06:32,603 --> 00:06:35,843 Daphne, I don't need Creaky Friday to tell me what we have is special. 132 00:06:36,203 --> 00:06:37,242 Really? 133 00:06:37,242 --> 00:06:40,043 Yes. It's a godless universe, so just help me cheat. 134 00:06:44,002 --> 00:06:47,963 And now, the traditional picking of the partners will begin. 135 00:06:49,523 --> 00:06:50,843 The first selection will be made 136 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:54,922 by a young woman who believes in the sanctity of Creaky Friday. 137 00:06:54,922 --> 00:06:56,603 - Right? - You know it. 138 00:06:58,362 --> 00:07:01,802 Oh, wow. I picked myself and Fred. Am I saying this right? 139 00:07:01,802 --> 00:07:03,963 Jonez? Joannas? 140 00:07:03,963 --> 00:07:05,403 Fred Jones. 141 00:07:05,403 --> 00:07:06,723 - What? - Oh, come on. 142 00:07:06,723 --> 00:07:09,843 I'm not ready to be bossed around by another short-haired, angry woman. 143 00:07:09,843 --> 00:07:11,603 Mother just died. 144 00:07:11,603 --> 00:07:15,802 Velma, did you really pick the exact person you wanted to be paired with? 145 00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:19,482 See? We told you to trust the tradition. 146 00:07:19,882 --> 00:07:21,603 The next pair is... 147 00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:25,242 Daphne and Amber! 148 00:07:25,242 --> 00:07:27,442 - Wait, what? - And so it was written. 149 00:07:27,802 --> 00:07:28,922 Yeah, give me one sec. 150 00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:31,963 See, I told you not to mess with Creaky Friday. 151 00:07:31,963 --> 00:07:34,122 Now I'm spending all day with your nemesis. 152 00:07:34,122 --> 00:07:36,002 Amber's not my nemesis, Daphne. 153 00:07:36,002 --> 00:07:37,963 I just think occult stuff is weird. 154 00:07:37,963 --> 00:07:40,002 Your pairing is merely a coincidence. 155 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:42,843 Because I promise you the universe does not punish people 156 00:07:42,843 --> 00:07:44,682 for messing with tradition. 157 00:07:49,322 --> 00:07:50,643 I know you rigged this, Velma. 158 00:07:50,643 --> 00:07:53,083 If there's one thing rich people know, it's cheating. 159 00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:55,523 So what if I did? There are more important things than tradition. 160 00:07:55,523 --> 00:07:57,442 No, there aren't. Look at the Catholics. 161 00:07:57,442 --> 00:07:58,963 We used to control the world. 162 00:07:58,963 --> 00:08:01,922 But then, Martin Luther was all, like... "Let's ignore traditions." 163 00:08:01,922 --> 00:08:04,242 And now, we only control Boston and the Supreme Court. 164 00:08:04,242 --> 00:08:07,002 Exactly. Tradition, religion, superstition. 165 00:08:07,002 --> 00:08:09,242 When you remove the fun hats and free wine, 166 00:08:09,242 --> 00:08:11,322 they're just about controlling people with fear. 167 00:08:11,322 --> 00:08:12,723 So, you don't believe in anything? 168 00:08:12,723 --> 00:08:14,763 I believe in proving your mom is still alive 169 00:08:14,763 --> 00:08:16,963 and looking through people's medicine cabinets. 170 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,122 Which is why we're going to ignore Daphne's moms 171 00:08:19,122 --> 00:08:22,163 and break into Mr. S's apartment to look for clues on his disappearance. 172 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,283 What? Police tape? Coroners? 173 00:08:25,283 --> 00:08:27,922 A detective needlessly squatting and shaking her head? 174 00:08:27,922 --> 00:08:30,163 Mr. S isn't missing. I think he's dead! 175 00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:33,763 Velma, we can't be here. We'll be arrested for investigating. 176 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,243 And I'm already gonna have trouble 177 00:08:35,243 --> 00:08:37,682 explaining why I went to prison for murder to colleges. 178 00:08:37,682 --> 00:08:38,842 Well, too bad. 179 00:08:38,842 --> 00:08:41,802 Because the only way I'm not telling the cops we're investigating right now, 180 00:08:41,802 --> 00:08:44,243 is if you show me that picture in your file. 181 00:08:44,802 --> 00:08:47,322 - Advertisement! - Ad-ver-tisement! 182 00:08:47,322 --> 00:08:50,842 I told Velma it was dangerous to mess up the pairing ritual. 183 00:08:50,842 --> 00:08:53,602 Now, it's too random and everyone's fighting 184 00:08:53,602 --> 00:08:54,922 instead of oiling hinges. 185 00:08:54,922 --> 00:08:57,123 I agree that larger forces are at play, 186 00:08:57,123 --> 00:09:00,722 but I actually manifested us being paired together. 187 00:09:00,722 --> 00:09:03,163 Amber, please. Superstition is one thing, 188 00:09:03,163 --> 00:09:05,202 but believing in things like manifesting 189 00:09:05,202 --> 00:09:07,283 is what makes Velma think you're weird. 190 00:09:07,283 --> 00:09:09,483 Also your "I'm weird" tattoo. 191 00:09:09,922 --> 00:09:11,003 I see. 192 00:09:12,883 --> 00:09:15,322 Well then, you leave me no choice but to enlighten you 193 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,643 by manifesting us winning Creaky Friday. 194 00:09:21,403 --> 00:09:24,363 Oh, God! I mean, that is a really nice, 195 00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:27,922 not at all totally messed up shrine to your mom on a dog crate. 196 00:09:27,922 --> 00:09:31,003 Yeah, or employee crate, depending on Mother's mood. 197 00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:33,682 Regardless, a real upside to being Catholic now, 198 00:09:33,682 --> 00:09:36,123 is knowing she's in a better place. 199 00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:41,163 - Fred! What are you doing? - What? It's my hiding place. 200 00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:44,043 And I don't want this picture falling into the wrong hands. Here. 201 00:09:44,922 --> 00:09:48,202 What? Either they stopped cleaning the public pools again or that's... 202 00:09:48,202 --> 00:09:50,842 A ghost. But the Church thinks it's a demon, 203 00:09:50,842 --> 00:09:54,643 which is why they sold me this relic for only 10,000 dollars. 204 00:09:55,163 --> 00:09:58,163 It's the toe of a saint. This little piggy is holy! 205 00:09:58,523 --> 00:10:00,123 Fred, where did you get this picture? 206 00:10:00,123 --> 00:10:02,763 {\an8}The person who hired me to solve Cogburn's death sent it. 207 00:10:02,763 --> 00:10:04,003 And don't ask who hired me. 208 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,523 They insist on doing everything anonymously over email. 209 00:10:07,082 --> 00:10:09,202 Wait, I've seen this ghost before! 210 00:10:10,403 --> 00:10:12,322 They're okay, which is pretty lucky 211 00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:15,962 since they listed their health care provider as the wind. 212 00:10:15,962 --> 00:10:17,403 Amber, what were you thinking? 213 00:10:17,403 --> 00:10:21,003 You never throw your body at a car worth less than $75,000! 214 00:10:21,003 --> 00:10:22,363 Listen. 215 00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:28,003 - The squeaking hinges. - I told you manifesting isn't weird. 216 00:10:28,523 --> 00:10:30,043 Now, let's go win this thing. 217 00:10:33,003 --> 00:10:35,602 All right, here's your old typewriter as requested, 218 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:38,442 and a bottle of idea juice from your old stash in the toy bin. 219 00:10:38,442 --> 00:10:41,643 What? That's not mine. I always get my liquor inside my body. 220 00:10:41,643 --> 00:10:44,523 Diya, I know you. Laptops don't just break. 221 00:10:44,523 --> 00:10:47,363 I bet your life you're self-sabotaging again to keep from writing. 222 00:10:47,363 --> 00:10:49,682 And this was the only thing that ever helped you. 223 00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:52,283 Self-sabotage? How dare you? 224 00:10:55,403 --> 00:10:58,123 No. You're right. This is what I need to finish my book. 225 00:11:00,163 --> 00:11:03,883 Okay. So, to ensure these are properly reading brain activity, 226 00:11:03,883 --> 00:11:06,123 I need to make some light, small talk. 227 00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,643 Brenda, you sleep okay? You look a little tired. 228 00:11:08,643 --> 00:11:10,922 I knew it. My lobe has crow's feet. 229 00:11:10,922 --> 00:11:13,483 And Krista? I hear your parents' marriage is in trouble? 230 00:11:13,483 --> 00:11:15,643 How could it be in trouble? 231 00:11:15,643 --> 00:11:17,842 They barely talk to each other. What are these questions? 232 00:11:17,842 --> 00:11:19,322 Yeah, what's the deal? 233 00:11:19,322 --> 00:11:22,043 I'm getting major "frat guys invite us to a sex party," 234 00:11:22,043 --> 00:11:23,842 "but then fill our jars with goldfish" vibes. 235 00:11:23,842 --> 00:11:27,763 What? I'm just asking questions, cause I'm interested in your lives. 236 00:11:27,763 --> 00:11:29,562 But are they causing you anxiety? 237 00:11:34,283 --> 00:11:36,202 See? I told you it wasn't a ghost. 238 00:11:36,202 --> 00:11:38,562 So, put your relic away before someone develops 239 00:11:38,562 --> 00:11:41,562 yet another TV show about a believer and a smoking hot skeptic. 240 00:11:41,562 --> 00:11:44,283 Are you kidding? This only makes my faith stronger. 241 00:11:44,283 --> 00:11:48,442 Real faith is knowing something's true even when it's verifiably false. 242 00:11:49,523 --> 00:11:50,643 Excuse me? 243 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,802 I need to know the last person who rented this costume. 244 00:11:52,802 --> 00:11:54,643 Was their name Victoria Jones? 245 00:11:54,643 --> 00:11:58,163 So sorry. Customer lists are private. 246 00:11:58,163 --> 00:12:01,322 People's role playing fantasies are meant to be kept between them 247 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,602 and me. 248 00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:07,643 Stop that. Halloween is coming, 249 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:09,922 and I need the place as creaky as possible. 250 00:12:10,442 --> 00:12:11,763 Fred! The computer! 251 00:12:14,403 --> 00:12:15,562 Norville? 252 00:12:15,562 --> 00:12:18,123 Oh, my God, that's where I remember the costume from. 253 00:12:19,962 --> 00:12:21,082 Norville? 254 00:12:21,082 --> 00:12:22,722 Fred, we have to go now! 255 00:12:24,283 --> 00:12:26,842 That's over 50 doors, but it's not enough to win. 256 00:12:26,842 --> 00:12:30,043 I guess I was only powerful enough to manifest an "I told you so". 257 00:12:30,043 --> 00:12:32,842 If you really wanna win, you'll have to help me manifest it, Daphne. 258 00:12:32,842 --> 00:12:35,602 Me? Manifest? Mm, okay. 259 00:12:35,602 --> 00:12:36,922 But only to win. 260 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:39,082 Not because I'm desperate to prove to Velma 261 00:12:39,082 --> 00:12:40,922 there's more to the universe than she thinks. 262 00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:42,883 Okay, now, deep breaths. 263 00:12:44,322 --> 00:12:45,363 And... 264 00:12:45,763 --> 00:12:49,842 How would you two like to come to the basement with me? 265 00:12:50,163 --> 00:12:53,403 I have some things that need lubricating. 266 00:12:53,962 --> 00:12:55,163 We did it! 267 00:12:59,442 --> 00:13:01,283 Wait. Are we in a morgue? 268 00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:05,643 Yes. Welcome to your final resting place. 269 00:13:08,202 --> 00:13:10,082 Eventually! He meant to say, 270 00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:12,082 "Your final resting place, eventually." 271 00:13:12,523 --> 00:13:16,163 I'm so sorry. Everything he says is so unintentionally creepy. 272 00:13:17,202 --> 00:13:19,322 Anyway, are you here to oil the hinges? 273 00:13:20,643 --> 00:13:22,003 It did work! 274 00:13:24,562 --> 00:13:26,922 Norville, this is amazing! 275 00:13:27,363 --> 00:13:29,442 We'll never question a guy's motives again. 276 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:33,202 We know you wore the ghost costume on the night of Cogburn's death. 277 00:13:33,202 --> 00:13:34,403 You killed him. 278 00:13:34,403 --> 00:13:37,442 An innocent old man with a whole week or two ahead of him. 279 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,322 What? No, I didn't! 280 00:13:39,322 --> 00:13:40,763 Oh, God! 281 00:13:40,763 --> 00:13:43,763 You didn't kill Cogburn. But you did kill me. 282 00:13:46,363 --> 00:13:49,523 And I'll never let your brain forget it, Norville. 283 00:13:50,403 --> 00:13:52,523 Help! I'm hallucinating! 284 00:13:55,722 --> 00:13:57,163 I need a snack! 285 00:14:01,322 --> 00:14:02,842 - Are you okay? - Yes. 286 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,322 Okay. Well, in that case, 287 00:14:04,322 --> 00:14:07,163 why were you at the police station in a ghost costume? 288 00:14:07,163 --> 00:14:10,003 - Did you kill Cogburn? - Of course I didn't kill him. 289 00:14:10,003 --> 00:14:12,123 I was just there to get my grandmother's journals. 290 00:14:12,123 --> 00:14:15,322 So, that's why her journals were missing from my mom's cold case file. 291 00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,962 Yes! I used the costume to hide my identity 292 00:14:17,962 --> 00:14:19,842 from the security cameras, and stole the journals 293 00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:21,483 when Cogburn went to the bathroom. 294 00:14:21,483 --> 00:14:24,922 I knew her research could help me isolate the anxiety in my brain 295 00:14:24,922 --> 00:14:26,523 and hopefully get rid of it. 296 00:14:26,523 --> 00:14:28,842 But I needed to experiment on the brains first. 297 00:14:28,842 --> 00:14:30,202 What? I knew it. 298 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,483 Men are only nice when they're also being creepy. 299 00:14:37,123 --> 00:14:40,283 A likely story. Call the cops, Velma. 300 00:14:40,283 --> 00:14:43,442 And he'll need a lawyer. Not your dad. A good one. 301 00:14:43,442 --> 00:14:45,643 What? No. There's no way Norville did this. 302 00:14:45,643 --> 00:14:48,643 If he was gonna snap and kill anyone, it would obviously be me. 303 00:14:49,602 --> 00:14:50,802 Interesting. 304 00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,883 Despite all the physical evidence saying one thing, 305 00:14:53,883 --> 00:14:56,602 you still believe in something else. 306 00:14:59,682 --> 00:15:01,043 So, you let Norville walk, 307 00:15:01,043 --> 00:15:03,202 {\an8}but I'm the fanatic for using a saint's toe 308 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,643 {\an8}to protect us from demons. 309 00:15:04,643 --> 00:15:08,763 Fred, believing Norville is innocent, is not the same as believing in ghosts 310 00:15:08,763 --> 00:15:11,682 or a God that dictates who wins our top music awards. 311 00:15:11,682 --> 00:15:14,562 How? Your baseless belief is shaping your judgment. 312 00:15:14,562 --> 00:15:17,403 My belief is not baseless. We know Norville. 313 00:15:17,403 --> 00:15:19,842 Would a murderer be a children's party clown? 314 00:15:19,842 --> 00:15:21,602 Or know every sign of the zodiac? 315 00:15:21,602 --> 00:15:24,802 Or give hitchhikers rides? Okay, not great examples. 316 00:15:24,802 --> 00:15:27,322 Norville was at the scene of Cogburn's murder. 317 00:15:27,322 --> 00:15:29,043 Fact, he lied about it. 318 00:15:29,043 --> 00:15:31,523 Fact, his grandmother's ghost possessed my mother. 319 00:15:31,523 --> 00:15:33,123 - Fact. - No, not a fact. 320 00:15:33,123 --> 00:15:35,682 Your mother wasn't possessed, Norville's innocent, 321 00:15:35,682 --> 00:15:38,322 and your saint's toe is clearly just an old caramel. 322 00:15:38,322 --> 00:15:42,202 Well, I hope you didn't plan on winning any country music awards this year 323 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:43,962 because you just blew it. 324 00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:54,283 No, no, no. Not those two. Those two are off limits. 325 00:15:54,283 --> 00:15:55,643 Promise you won't open them. 326 00:15:55,643 --> 00:15:56,962 - Okay. - We promise. 327 00:15:56,962 --> 00:16:00,763 Thank you. Because Vincent and I are late for our couples' therapy. 328 00:16:00,763 --> 00:16:04,202 Yes. Today we are going to kill 329 00:16:04,722 --> 00:16:06,722 our fears of being vulnerable. 330 00:16:17,962 --> 00:16:19,523 It's Sheriff Cogburn! 331 00:16:19,523 --> 00:16:21,763 - And this is Mr. S! - What? 332 00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:23,283 But how'd they die? 333 00:16:28,283 --> 00:16:32,763 Velma, thank God you came. We found Cogburn and Mr. S, 334 00:16:32,763 --> 00:16:34,363 and they're not only dead... 335 00:16:35,003 --> 00:16:36,682 Their dongs were removed? 336 00:16:36,682 --> 00:16:40,082 This is almost as bad as girls having their brains removed. Almost. 337 00:16:42,842 --> 00:16:44,643 TMI! Cannot unsee that. 338 00:16:45,403 --> 00:16:48,763 Are you done masking your fear with performative overreaction? 339 00:16:48,763 --> 00:16:50,202 Yeah, yeah, wait. 340 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:52,962 - I'm good. - But who would do that? 341 00:16:52,962 --> 00:16:55,722 And why would someone with a photo of Norville in a ghost costume 342 00:16:55,722 --> 00:16:57,283 hire Fred to figure it out? 343 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,043 - Where'd you get this? - It's a still. 344 00:16:59,043 --> 00:17:01,123 From a police station surveillance camera. 345 00:17:01,123 --> 00:17:03,842 It is? Then we have to go there. Come on, Daph. 346 00:17:03,842 --> 00:17:05,842 And Amber, too, I guess. 347 00:17:07,203 --> 00:17:08,723 Actually, Velma, 348 00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:11,203 Amber and I are really close to winning Creaky Friday. 349 00:17:11,203 --> 00:17:13,723 I know you think it's dumb, but I think you're dumb 350 00:17:13,723 --> 00:17:17,162 for not believing in different moisturizers for different body parts. 351 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,162 - Or soul mates. - Oh, my God. 352 00:17:19,162 --> 00:17:22,562 Do you really wanna have a deep conversation about our feelings now? 353 00:17:22,562 --> 00:17:24,523 - Yes. - Fine. 354 00:17:24,923 --> 00:17:26,203 Punch it, Fred. 355 00:17:32,243 --> 00:17:34,043 Thanks so much for meeting with me, William. 356 00:17:34,802 --> 00:17:36,443 It's nice to be out of the house. 357 00:17:36,443 --> 00:17:40,203 Even if it is, I assume, to be shamed for something my wife did. 358 00:17:40,203 --> 00:17:41,802 Wouldn't be the first time today. 359 00:17:41,802 --> 00:17:43,283 I actually have something for you. 360 00:17:43,283 --> 00:17:46,842 I assume from your clothes, breath, and bursts of anger, you drink Scotch? 361 00:17:46,842 --> 00:17:48,043 Yes! 362 00:17:48,043 --> 00:17:50,923 I wanna interview you for my book. It's a memoir about my kidnapping. 363 00:17:50,923 --> 00:17:53,562 And recipes. Going for an early Nora Ephron vibe. 364 00:17:53,562 --> 00:17:55,443 Well, then, I accept your Scotch. 365 00:17:55,443 --> 00:17:58,322 But if this isn't adversarial, 366 00:17:58,322 --> 00:18:01,523 we really should be drinking Burgundy, don't you think? 367 00:18:01,523 --> 00:18:03,283 I don't drink anymore. 368 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:07,723 Well, what do you do for fun, then, Diya Dinkley? 369 00:18:09,842 --> 00:18:12,483 My favorite part of police work is the crafting. 370 00:18:12,483 --> 00:18:14,322 Gonna crochet handcuffs next. 371 00:18:14,842 --> 00:18:17,283 This photo was taken the night of Cogburn's murder. 372 00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:19,443 One of your officers sent it to Fred. 373 00:18:19,443 --> 00:18:23,562 Fred, a child, with the mind and body of a younger child. 374 00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:25,963 What? Where did you get that? 375 00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:28,523 No one has access to that footage except us. 376 00:18:28,523 --> 00:18:32,082 And the North Korean teen who sent me a fake link to some puppy pics. 377 00:18:32,443 --> 00:18:34,003 Unless... 378 00:18:34,882 --> 00:18:37,562 I'm sorry. I sent the photo to Fred, 379 00:18:37,562 --> 00:18:41,483 but only because we have no leads and he's a supernatural expert. 380 00:18:41,483 --> 00:18:42,963 Look at his saint's toe. 381 00:18:42,963 --> 00:18:45,362 No, Velma's right. It's a caramel. 382 00:18:45,362 --> 00:18:47,322 Wait. No, that was bone. 383 00:18:47,322 --> 00:18:50,402 Linda, we've got an election coming up. 384 00:18:50,402 --> 00:18:52,963 If people find out we're still letting kids solve our cases, 385 00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:54,923 we're ruined. How could you? 386 00:18:54,923 --> 00:18:58,842 It's because Linda's more worried about how voters will react 387 00:18:58,842 --> 00:19:01,243 if they learned that a dong-removing serial killer 388 00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:03,082 is running wild on their watch. 389 00:19:03,082 --> 00:19:04,483 Yes. But wait. 390 00:19:04,483 --> 00:19:07,003 How do you know about their missing dongs? 391 00:19:07,003 --> 00:19:09,802 Daphne and Amber found their bodies, while oiling hinges. 392 00:19:09,802 --> 00:19:12,842 Meaning, my decision to violate the rules of Creaky Friday 393 00:19:12,842 --> 00:19:15,443 are even more validated. Yeah, boy. 394 00:19:15,443 --> 00:19:18,243 - Two men are dead, Velma. - Yes, of course. I'm sorry. 395 00:19:18,243 --> 00:19:21,402 Now, please, promise you'll tell no one. 396 00:19:22,963 --> 00:19:25,723 Busy, Dad. You and Mom just do date night without me. 397 00:19:29,723 --> 00:19:31,362 Lola? What are you doing here? 398 00:19:31,362 --> 00:19:34,003 Has skateboarding caused you to smoke and be shitty to women? 399 00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,483 I can't reverse that, I'm afraid. 400 00:19:35,483 --> 00:19:37,562 No, I deserve an apology. 401 00:19:37,562 --> 00:19:40,523 Just because you're hot doesn't mean you can treat me like you did. 402 00:19:40,523 --> 00:19:41,723 Got it? 403 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:44,562 Got what? After you said you think I'm hot everything got fuzzy. 404 00:19:44,562 --> 00:19:46,842 Well, the point is, I deserve better. 405 00:19:46,842 --> 00:19:49,243 Not much better. I did just ram some loser's shin, 406 00:19:49,243 --> 00:19:50,723 and I'm totes fine with it. 407 00:19:51,443 --> 00:19:52,723 - But, still... - I'm sorry. 408 00:19:52,723 --> 00:19:54,043 What I did was wrong. 409 00:19:54,043 --> 00:19:56,243 I'm just so desperate to stop my hallucinations. 410 00:19:56,243 --> 00:19:59,283 Okay, well, then you leave me no choice but to help you cure them. 411 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,003 And you should hope I still wanna jump your bones 412 00:20:02,003 --> 00:20:03,283 once you're damage free. 413 00:20:06,203 --> 00:20:10,162 So, someone is now killing men associated with Dr. Perdue's journals, 414 00:20:10,162 --> 00:20:11,362 and removing their dongs. 415 00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:17,362 Sorry, reflex. But I still think Norville is the killer. 416 00:20:17,362 --> 00:20:19,483 You do? But you didn't even mention him 417 00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:21,243 as a potential suspect to Linda and Donna, 418 00:20:21,243 --> 00:20:23,483 even when they gave you that honorary sheriff sticker. 419 00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:24,923 Yeah, well, what can I say? 420 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:27,723 I realized your faith in Norville is good enough for me. 421 00:20:27,723 --> 00:20:30,483 Damn it! This is why religious people are so maddening. 422 00:20:30,483 --> 00:20:33,562 You act nuts, but then do good stuff no one else will do. 423 00:20:33,562 --> 00:20:35,402 Like feed the poor and entertain old people. 424 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:39,043 Whoa, wait. What? We do? Well, this is not that. 425 00:20:39,043 --> 00:20:41,322 I don't expect you to believe my mom was possessed. 426 00:20:41,322 --> 00:20:43,642 But I'll continue to believe you about Norville, 427 00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:47,322 if you at least believe me that my mom is dead. 428 00:20:47,322 --> 00:20:50,162 Fine. And I'm sorry I mocked your religion. 429 00:20:50,162 --> 00:20:52,802 If it brings you peace to think that bitch is in a better place, 430 00:20:52,802 --> 00:20:54,043 who am I to judge? 431 00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:56,723 I mean, it's no crazier than Daphne believing in soul mates, 432 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:59,003 and I've been very accepting of that. 433 00:20:59,003 --> 00:21:00,443 - Wait. - Thanks, Velma. 434 00:21:00,443 --> 00:21:01,602 That means a lot. 435 00:21:01,602 --> 00:21:03,723 As we learned in my favorite passage from Genesis, 436 00:21:03,723 --> 00:21:07,122 "There's too many men, too many people making too many problems 437 00:21:07,122 --> 00:21:09,122 "and not much love to go around." 438 00:21:09,122 --> 00:21:11,763 Fred! Please do more research on the Catholic Church! 439 00:21:12,523 --> 00:21:14,443 Fine. This'll be good. 440 00:21:16,162 --> 00:21:17,802 Oh, my God! 441 00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:21,122 I have to give them 10% of my gross income? 442 00:21:21,122 --> 00:21:23,283 What a scam! I am out! 443 00:21:25,402 --> 00:21:28,882 And the Creaky Friday team who oiled the most doors today 444 00:21:28,882 --> 00:21:31,362 were Daphne Blake and this new kid 445 00:21:31,362 --> 00:21:33,402 who people are still forming an opinion about. 446 00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:36,602 Amber, it worked! Thank you! 447 00:21:36,602 --> 00:21:40,043 Those college admissions committee shills are gonna eat this shit up. 448 00:21:40,043 --> 00:21:41,882 And now, to the steps of the Police Department 449 00:21:41,882 --> 00:21:45,322 where Merle Cogburn is making a special announcement. 450 00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:47,923 As you know, 451 00:21:47,923 --> 00:21:51,842 my beloved brother and voice twin, Earl, passed away. 452 00:21:51,842 --> 00:21:55,723 What you don't know is that the two women hoping to replace him 453 00:21:56,162 --> 00:22:00,723 have outsourced the investigation of his death to kids! 454 00:22:01,043 --> 00:22:04,723 Which leaves me no choice but to enter the race myself. 455 00:22:05,443 --> 00:22:06,802 What? 456 00:22:08,402 --> 00:22:09,602 Velma? 457 00:22:10,122 --> 00:22:13,322 I'm sorry for being so closed-minded about the soul mates thing. 458 00:22:13,322 --> 00:22:15,802 I care for you more than anyone. 459 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:18,642 And if you wanna call that being soul mates, I'm all for it. 460 00:22:19,122 --> 00:22:21,322 Thank you. I appreciate that. 461 00:22:24,283 --> 00:22:25,802 I learned a lot today, too. 462 00:22:26,402 --> 00:22:27,923 Have you heard of manifesting? 463 00:22:27,923 --> 00:22:30,362 It doesn't just help beautiful women at auditions, 464 00:22:30,362 --> 00:22:32,683 it could probably help with your investigation. 465 00:22:32,683 --> 00:22:34,763 Yeah, maybe. Thanks. 466 00:22:34,763 --> 00:22:38,562 But as tolerant as I've become, I still find that stuff a little silly. 467 00:22:38,562 --> 00:22:41,243 I mean, I messed with Creaky Friday's sacred tradition 468 00:22:41,243 --> 00:22:43,923 and absolutely nothing bad happened to me. 469 00:22:45,562 --> 00:22:47,162 Oh, God! 470 00:22:47,162 --> 00:22:49,842 We would have covered up if we'd heard the door, but it was just oiled! 471 00:22:49,842 --> 00:22:51,842 I hate Creaky Friday! 472 00:22:53,082 --> 00:22:54,683 I forgot you had a kid. 473 00:23:06,082 --> 00:23:09,003 Vincent. I saw the door was open to the body room. 474 00:23:09,483 --> 00:23:12,483 Are you using them to practice your ballroom dancing again? 475 00:23:12,483 --> 00:23:13,763 Vincent? 476 00:23:14,562 --> 00:23:15,642 Vincent?