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Previously on Velma...
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What I did was wrong.
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I'm just so desperate
to stop my hallucinations.
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Then you leave me no choice
but to help you cure them.
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And you should hope I still wanna jump
your bones once you're damage free.
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So, someone is now killing men
associated with Dr. Perdue's journals
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and removing their dongs.
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Have you heard of manifesting?
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As tolerant as I've become,
I still find that stuff a little silly.
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Vincent?
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- Oh, God!
- Velma!
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There are many things
I feel strongly about. Our planet.
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No more fracking for oil.
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Or saying fracking
as a double entendre!
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Adult women who wear pigtails.
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You're too fracking old!
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But my whole life,
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nothing has made me angrier
than rich people.
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Because they have money, they think
they can get away with anything.
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Museums should be named
after robber barons, not murderers.
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Change this name!
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Because, annoyingly, they can.
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So, there is no amount of money
that would make me okay
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with William Jones
dating my mom.
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Well, then, how about I date
your mom and open bar?
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No way.
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Unlike a recorded message from any
failed '90s celeb, I can't be bought.
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What? No one ever says no to me.
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Velma, you left your inhaler in my van.
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Oh, God! Dad! No!
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I mean, yes.
I can't say no to you
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'cause of your money,
but I'm still upset!
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Now, I'm sure you're both wondering
how William and I became lovers.
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It began with an interview
for my memoir, and we just connected.
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We connected so hard,
I hurt my back.
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But the point is Diya's the one person
I found
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who I can talk to honestly
about Victoria.
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You can talk honestly to me
about Mom.
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Just don't criticize her,
because I will lash out.
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Okay. You had your fun. Now,
let's never mention it again,
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unless a baby
with a bowtie and a monocle
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pops out in nine months. Good?
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No, Velma. We like each other.
But you fear not.
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I promise to win you over with a fun
weekend at the Jones estate.
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The only thing more impressive
than the house
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is the number of people
who died building it.
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Fat chance. The only way I'm ever
going back to your house
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is with a mob
of revolting peasants.
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Plus, the science fair's Monday
and you promised
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to help me with my project
this weekend.
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Science fair?
That's Mardi Gras for smart kids.
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And you're the baby
in the king cake.
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How is this the first
I'm hearing of it, Velma?
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Because as rich people say
when they're asked to pay taxes,
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"I ain't doing it."
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And Frederick,
I promised to help
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if you stopped claiming your mother
was possessed by an evil ghost.
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I guess I should hire someone
to go talk to him.
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Good idea. I need to have
a little chat with Velma, as well.
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About what? How much my therapy
is gonna set you back?
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Run the diagnostic, Lola.
I'm hallucinating.
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Got it.
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My grandma's research worked.
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You can see exactly where the
hallucination happened in my noodle.
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Hey, I can use that word,
not you.
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Sorry. I just got excited.
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With this data, I might be able
to neutralize my hallucinations.
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And we'd totally win the science fair.
Which is great,
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'cause volleyball is sure not getting me
into college anymore.
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Norville, I told you. You don't need all
science to stop your hallucinations.
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Just trust that the marijuana
I'm giving you will cure them.
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It has zero side effects.
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Now, why am I in here again?
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I assume you want to test my pee
to ensure the weed's working.
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Positive! We'll test again
at the science fair on Monday,
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so just keep smoking.
Zero side... effects.
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Wait. Norville "I hate drugs" Rogers
has been getting high?
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Without me? WTF?
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What? No, I've just always
done what my dad says.
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So, it's easier to buy
dirty pee from a friend
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and pass his test,
than have a big fight.
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Which reminds me,
that was my last cup.
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Evelyn, I need a re-up.
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What? You're on trial
for a hit and run in Miami?
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But I can't wait two weeks.
My dad is testing me on Monday.
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Velma, the deal is
you can only solve mysteries
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if you maintain your grades
and extracurriculars.
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No, Mom. The deal is you don't date
wealthy slimeballs
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whose ex-wives kidnapped you.
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- We never made that deal.
- We shouldn't have to.
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You know I hate the rich.
I'd be a Communist,
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if I didn't want to kill my lazy
teammates on every group project.
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Fine. Then let me propose a deal
we can both agree on.
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If you win the science fair,
I'll stop seeing William.
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The science fair is a waste of time.
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I'm trying to find
another serial killer,
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not a more efficient way
to process ammonia
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and increase global crop yield.
Wait.
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You love science, you genius.
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And it's something to fall back on,
if mystery solving doesn't work out.
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Fine. If I win the science fair,
you dump William
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and promise
no more dating rich guys.
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Unless the actor, Steven Yeun,
is rich.
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Have you ever needed
to push up your glasses,
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scratch your nose
or swat a fly,
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but you're in the middle of a complex
chemistry experiment?
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Well, the future is now.
Handso, push up glasses.
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Damn it!
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Now how am I gonna
win the science fair?
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How about, "Can curly fries
be made straight again?"
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I know it's not your intent,
but that sounds homophobic.
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Maybe I can help. A lot of cool
inventions come from moms
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who see a need
for something.
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Like, you know, those social media
videos of dogs who talk with buttons?
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I only follow Gloria Steinem
and Noam Chomsky.
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So, yes, it's all they post.
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Well, Gigi's mom,
Susan, invented one for babies
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called a Baby Babble Box.
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Nap. Hungry.
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Election. Stolen.
Witch hunt.
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She's a genius.
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See, my dad's already
dating a nightmare.
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If I don't make a prizewinning project
by tomorrow,
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I'm gonna end up with someone
even worse in my life.
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You're welcome to join the project
I'm doing with Amber.
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Amber? What does
Amber know about science?
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They think bird flu was caused
by an eclipse.
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I know, but my moms
are making us be partners.
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They want us
to use our science project
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to help solve the Mr. S
and Cogburn cases.
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Oh, my God, yes! I am so in.
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By manifesting some clues,
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the way we manifested
our Creaky Friday win.
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Our project is manifesting.
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While that sounds great,
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I don't know if manifesting
is science-y enough to win.
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That's where you're wrong.
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Since Mr. S died,
there's a new science fair judge
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who's way less science-y.
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Wait, who?
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Norville.
How could you not tell me
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{\an8}your dad is judging
the science fair?
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Oh, right. That's what I wanted
to tell you earlier.
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I'm even getting paid.
Which is good,
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because the pot
I've been buying you is not cheap.
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Wait, Dad, you're judging
the science fair for money?
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Are we okay?
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You're not borrowing money
from the Mafia again, are you?
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Norville, the only thing
you need to worry about
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is curing your hallucinations
with pot
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the way your loving father
tells you to.
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The sooner the better.
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With your dad as the judge,
you're sure to win.
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Well, normally, yes.
But if I can't find some dirty pee,
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he'll know I'm defying him
and freak out.
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I once got detention
for telling him
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B.F. Skinner wasn't
my favorite psychologist.
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Damn. But wait. Not to sound
like an East German swim coach,
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but if I get you some pee
to pass his drug test,
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you're guaranteed to win, right?
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I mean, without a doubt.
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But are you seriously
gonna get high for me?
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00:07:02,882 --> 00:07:05,922
Every year you complain that 4/20
distracts from Jessica Lange's birthday.
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00:07:05,922 --> 00:07:07,523
I can't.
The one time I got high,
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I was convinced
a dog was talking to me.
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But if I figure it out,
can I join your science fair project?
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00:07:12,242 --> 00:07:16,083
Does a multipolar neuron
have two or more dendrites?
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You bet your ass it does.
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00:07:19,362 --> 00:07:20,802
Oh. God! Handso! No!
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00:07:21,843 --> 00:07:24,322
I don't have time to spend
the weekend at your boyfriend's.
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I need to figure out how
to win the science fair.
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Driver, take me
to the nearest music festival.
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Wait, these waters
are free, right?
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Yes, and we're not going
to a music festival.
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00:07:33,763 --> 00:07:36,043
But I knew you'd get excited
about science again.
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Soon you'll be like...
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I can't think
of a famous woman scientist.
178
00:07:40,283 --> 00:07:42,203
And now I'm just picturing
Einstein with boobs.
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But I still expect you
to try and enjoy this weekend.
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Enjoy a rich man
using his wealth
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00:07:46,843 --> 00:07:49,283
to distract us from
the atrocities of his family?
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Pass me that caviar.
It'll just go to waste otherwise.
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00:07:53,482 --> 00:07:56,442
Guys, getting pierced was such
a good science fair idea.
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00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:58,322
Was such a good
science fair idea.
185
00:08:02,322 --> 00:08:05,603
Look where we are.
It's Daphne's new friend's store.
186
00:08:05,603 --> 00:08:07,002
They must have put a spell on us.
187
00:08:07,442 --> 00:08:08,562
What new friend?
188
00:08:08,562 --> 00:08:11,242
Who do I know that can balance
popularity and a job?
189
00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:14,203
- Daphne!
- Hey, Amber.
190
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,643
This is your mom's place?
191
00:08:16,203 --> 00:08:18,283
I knew you two were opening
an occult bookstore,
192
00:08:18,283 --> 00:08:20,043
but this is nuttier
than cheap trail mix.
193
00:08:20,043 --> 00:08:22,963
Nutty? Wicca is just
like any other religion,
194
00:08:22,963 --> 00:08:26,002
except less hating gays and more
nude frolicking in the moonlight.
195
00:08:26,002 --> 00:08:30,203
We only frolic nude in the sunlight.
This is weird. Come on, Daph.
196
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,682
You know what? I'll catch up
with you girls later.
197
00:08:38,682 --> 00:08:41,243
We have to work on our totally normal
science fair project.
198
00:08:41,243 --> 00:08:43,602
Amber! Daphne, come quick!
The frogs are spawning!
199
00:08:43,602 --> 00:08:46,202
Manifest abundance
before the crone flies.
200
00:08:52,283 --> 00:08:54,283
Velma! Welcome.
201
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:57,962
I took the liberty of having the staff
prepare pink lemonade.
202
00:08:57,962 --> 00:09:00,283
Seriously? Pink lemonade
is my favorite.
203
00:09:00,283 --> 00:09:02,682
And it costs 13 cents
more than regular lemonade.
204
00:09:02,682 --> 00:09:05,682
But just FYI, I still think
all rich people are evil.
205
00:09:05,682 --> 00:09:08,243
Which is why I've taken a note
from the numerous musicals
206
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:11,243
depicting a plucky
but downwardly mobile young woman
207
00:09:11,243 --> 00:09:13,163
visiting a rich man's home,
208
00:09:13,163 --> 00:09:16,363
and had the staff prepare a musical
number to make you feel welcome.
209
00:09:16,763 --> 00:09:20,763
You are poor
So you will like this
210
00:09:20,763 --> 00:09:24,763
Some joy in your
Grubby little life, Miss
211
00:09:24,763 --> 00:09:29,763
Let us treat you
Like a prince... Princess
212
00:09:29,763 --> 00:09:31,442
What the hell is going on?
213
00:09:31,442 --> 00:09:34,363
It's like a big type of Act Two
musical number.
214
00:09:35,163 --> 00:09:37,922
You can lead
A life of leisure
215
00:09:37,922 --> 00:09:40,883
Wash in a bath
Of ancient treasure!
216
00:09:40,883 --> 00:09:43,722
Here's a robot
That thinks you're clever
217
00:09:43,722 --> 00:09:46,483
Not interested.
What? No. Never.
218
00:09:46,483 --> 00:09:48,082
Your own Swedish masseuse
219
00:09:48,082 --> 00:09:49,643
Tell that Swede to go vamoose.
220
00:09:49,643 --> 00:09:50,922
Hate walking?
221
00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:52,922
Take your railway
222
00:09:52,922 --> 00:09:55,363
But what would the 99% say?
223
00:09:57,802 --> 00:10:00,682
Would a breakfast buffet
Be so awful?
224
00:10:01,163 --> 00:10:03,243
Even Karl Marx couldn't
resist a waffle.
225
00:10:04,123 --> 00:10:08,643
Don't listen to them. Father's
a traitor, and this is a house of lies.
226
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,082
Mother just died
Have you no remorse?
227
00:10:12,082 --> 00:10:15,163
Son, I can't copulate
With a corpse!
228
00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:17,643
And now you're trying
To buy Velma's love!
229
00:10:17,643 --> 00:10:21,082
Fred's right! But how much money
are we speaking of?
230
00:10:21,082 --> 00:10:24,163
Shall we take this
All away, then, Velma?
231
00:10:24,163 --> 00:10:27,003
And pray college tuitions
Don't overwhelm ya?
232
00:10:27,003 --> 00:10:29,322
You're poor!
233
00:10:29,322 --> 00:10:30,442
Who am I kidding?
234
00:10:31,003 --> 00:10:37,763
I am poor and I love this!
235
00:10:41,403 --> 00:10:42,763
Take me to that money bath.
236
00:10:47,922 --> 00:10:49,523
Fred, can I come in?
237
00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,523
It's just me,
your dad's new girlfriend.
238
00:10:51,523 --> 00:10:52,802
Nothing weird.
239
00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:55,643
I know. And I'm not mad
about you dating my dad.
240
00:10:55,643 --> 00:10:57,403
Monogamy is for the middle class.
241
00:10:57,403 --> 00:10:59,442
I'm mad because my father's
punishing me
242
00:10:59,442 --> 00:11:01,043
for thinking my mom's innocent.
243
00:11:01,043 --> 00:11:03,483
Well, sometimes parents
have to be tough on kids
244
00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:04,842
because they care about them
245
00:11:04,842 --> 00:11:07,442
and don't want to be embarrassed
publicly by their dumb choices.
246
00:11:07,442 --> 00:11:08,682
You wanna hear about caring?
247
00:11:08,682 --> 00:11:11,123
Every year Mother helped me
with my science fair project.
248
00:11:11,123 --> 00:11:13,363
She loved hiring the scientists
to do all the work
249
00:11:13,363 --> 00:11:16,202
and then stiffing them
if I didn't win.
250
00:11:16,202 --> 00:11:17,922
I miss her so much.
251
00:11:17,922 --> 00:11:20,802
Fred, I'm sorry, but as a way
to get to know each other,
252
00:11:20,802 --> 00:11:22,722
maybe I could help you
with your project.
253
00:11:22,722 --> 00:11:24,763
And what do I have
to do in return?
254
00:11:24,763 --> 00:11:27,043
Teach you how to fit
into polite society?
255
00:11:27,043 --> 00:11:30,202
- Nothing. Just pick a project.
- Actually...
256
00:11:30,202 --> 00:11:31,883
Mother never even
let me do that.
257
00:11:31,883 --> 00:11:33,802
And I have always wondered
where toast comes from.
258
00:11:33,802 --> 00:11:36,763
My hypothesis is the kitchen.
259
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,483
Well, that sounds
like a good start.
260
00:11:48,003 --> 00:11:49,043
Lola! I did it!
261
00:11:49,043 --> 00:11:52,403
You figured out the right amount
of Chinese food for two people?
262
00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:54,962
No. The scientific community
has given up on that.
263
00:11:54,962 --> 00:11:57,322
I calculated exactly
how much electricity I need
264
00:11:57,322 --> 00:11:59,363
to shock the neurons,
causing my hallucinations.
265
00:11:59,363 --> 00:12:01,643
If it works, my dad will
assume it was the pot
266
00:12:01,643 --> 00:12:03,123
and I won't have to pass
any more drug tests.
267
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:06,322
Okay, but to be safe,
before shocking your brain,
268
00:12:06,322 --> 00:12:08,163
maybe try it on
something else first.
269
00:12:08,163 --> 00:12:11,403
I'm confident in my equations.
But hey, if you insist.
270
00:12:20,202 --> 00:12:22,722
Velma, if we want to win,
I'm gonna need that tainted pee.
271
00:12:22,722 --> 00:12:25,722
I'm on it, because even though
I've come to appreciate vast wealth
272
00:12:25,722 --> 00:12:27,842
and no longer wanna break up
my mom and William,
273
00:12:27,842 --> 00:12:29,602
I'm still a good
and honorable person.
274
00:12:30,442 --> 00:12:32,802
Eat this and then
pee in a cup for me. Pull.
275
00:13:13,483 --> 00:13:14,842
Where's Velma?
276
00:13:14,842 --> 00:13:17,682
- Norville? Test time.
- One second.
277
00:13:18,403 --> 00:13:19,682
My dad is going to test me.
278
00:13:19,682 --> 00:13:21,442
If Velma doesn't show up
with the dirty pee,
279
00:13:21,442 --> 00:13:23,163
I'll just have to
try the shock treatment.
280
00:13:23,163 --> 00:13:25,403
At least the last potato
almost didn't explode.
281
00:13:25,403 --> 00:13:29,123
Norville, you can't risk it.
Just smoke weed already.
282
00:13:29,123 --> 00:13:31,682
TBH, this jar is half bong water.
283
00:13:31,682 --> 00:13:34,243
- Hey, Norville.
- Velma, my number one buddy.
284
00:13:34,243 --> 00:13:35,722
And by number one,
I mean urine.
285
00:13:35,722 --> 00:13:38,962
Velma's here. Yes, I refer to myself
in the third person now.
286
00:13:38,962 --> 00:13:41,082
So, do you have the pee or not?
287
00:13:41,082 --> 00:13:42,442
Yes! I'm saved.
288
00:13:42,442 --> 00:13:47,363
Why does this have a price tag?
And why is it $9.99?
289
00:13:47,363 --> 00:13:49,123
Wait. This is too funny.
290
00:13:49,123 --> 00:13:51,322
You know what this is?
This is a juice shot,
291
00:13:51,322 --> 00:13:53,243
my fabulous wellness doctor
has put me on.
292
00:13:53,243 --> 00:13:56,483
Okay, but where's the dirty pee?
Papa needs that liquid gold.
293
00:13:56,483 --> 00:13:58,722
Sorry. One of the cleaning people
must have thrown it out.
294
00:13:58,722 --> 00:14:01,483
But don't worry. It's okay if you fail
the test and we lose.
295
00:14:01,483 --> 00:14:02,922
I want my mom to date William.
296
00:14:02,922 --> 00:14:05,243
It's not okay!
My dad will freak out!
297
00:14:05,243 --> 00:14:08,043
And I didn't plan on having our
inevitable "I'm not you, Dad" fight,
298
00:14:08,043 --> 00:14:09,842
until I got my Carl Jung poster
back from the framers.
299
00:14:09,842 --> 00:14:11,202
Norville, listen to Velma.
300
00:14:11,202 --> 00:14:13,922
As someone who now lives
a life of zero consequences,
301
00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:17,442
believe me when I say this, too much
stress is terrible for your skin.
302
00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:19,243
But still, I'll make this right.
303
00:14:20,003 --> 00:14:21,163
What?
304
00:14:25,883 --> 00:14:27,842
And so, in conclusion,
while we can now
305
00:14:27,842 --> 00:14:30,082
say with confidence
where toast comes from...
306
00:14:31,322 --> 00:14:33,883
...where it came from before
the advent of the toaster,
307
00:14:33,883 --> 00:14:36,643
remains one of science's
greatest mysteries.
308
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:37,763
Great job, Fred.
309
00:14:37,763 --> 00:14:40,243
You even managed
to say "focaccia" inoffensively.
310
00:14:43,043 --> 00:14:46,602
Wait, why do I feel
all warm and safe?
311
00:14:46,602 --> 00:14:48,562
Because that's what hugs feel like?
312
00:14:48,562 --> 00:14:51,643
No! Mother said hugs drained children
of their resilience.
313
00:14:51,643 --> 00:14:54,602
That's why she selflessly
refused to ever give me one.
314
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,722
Okay. Well, since you're
so good at science now,
315
00:14:57,722 --> 00:15:00,163
do you wanna
test out that hypothesis?
316
00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:03,483
I guess. I mean, I'm always happy
to prove Mother right.
317
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:07,962
Little Freddie feel cozy.
318
00:15:08,643 --> 00:15:11,363
No! These feelings
are wrong. Stop!
319
00:15:11,363 --> 00:15:13,283
- Fred, I'm sorry.
- I hate this.
320
00:15:13,283 --> 00:15:15,842
- Stop hugging me!
- I'm trying.
321
00:15:17,442 --> 00:15:20,562
- You need to come to the science fair.
- I'm here. Have a surprise for Velma.
322
00:15:22,962 --> 00:15:26,722
Our science fair project was testing
the power of positive reinforcement.
323
00:15:26,722 --> 00:15:28,363
So we spoke different words
to rats
324
00:15:28,363 --> 00:15:30,163
and then measured
their maize feed.
325
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:33,123
The rat called Smart did way better
than the one called Sexy.
326
00:15:33,123 --> 00:15:36,003
But the best was mine.
Hot Bitch.
327
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,643
Oh, wonderful!
328
00:15:37,643 --> 00:15:41,523
Okay, so what's this project,
you Hot Bitches?
329
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,403
It's about focusing
on what you want.
330
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:47,283
Like my moms need clues
in their Mr. S
331
00:15:47,283 --> 00:15:49,043
and Sheriff Cogburn
murder investigation.
332
00:15:49,043 --> 00:15:53,123
We wrote, "Find the killer" on a piece
of paper, sealed it in this envelope
333
00:15:53,123 --> 00:15:55,962
and spent 10 minutes each day
visualizing his discovery.
334
00:15:57,243 --> 00:16:00,562
That is the dumbest project here,
and I just ate Fred's project.
335
00:16:02,363 --> 00:16:04,962
I'm so sorry your moms
made you work with Amber.
336
00:16:04,962 --> 00:16:07,602
Wait. They made you
work with me?
337
00:16:07,602 --> 00:16:09,283
The crows in my dream
were right.
338
00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:11,082
I knew better
than to doubt them.
339
00:16:11,082 --> 00:16:14,123
No, Olive's wrong.
I wanted to work with you,
340
00:16:14,123 --> 00:16:16,842
but I was too embarrassed
to admit it to my friends,
341
00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:19,442
which is crazy,
because you're so interesting,
342
00:16:19,442 --> 00:16:21,082
and I think our project's amazing.
343
00:16:22,003 --> 00:16:24,243
I agree.
Every day I envision
344
00:16:24,243 --> 00:16:27,442
I'm such a perfect father
that Norville will never feel the need
345
00:16:27,442 --> 00:16:29,363
to think for himself
and push me away.
346
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:32,842
Mr. Rogers! Come quick.
Norville cured his hallucinations.
347
00:16:32,842 --> 00:16:35,043
As Daddy knew he would.
348
00:16:35,043 --> 00:16:38,163
See? That's the area that caused
the hallucinations.
349
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:41,243
It used to be all lit up,
and now there's nothing.
350
00:16:41,562 --> 00:16:45,602
Norville, you did it.
See? The pot worked.
351
00:16:45,602 --> 00:16:46,722
I'm so happy.
352
00:16:46,722 --> 00:16:49,403
There's literally nothing
I wouldn't do for you right now.
353
00:16:49,403 --> 00:16:51,442
I'd love to win the science fair.
354
00:16:52,123 --> 00:16:54,082
Okay, so about that...
355
00:16:58,483 --> 00:17:00,363
Don't wanna invest in that.
356
00:17:00,363 --> 00:17:02,802
Maybe. Oh, hello!
357
00:17:02,802 --> 00:17:06,602
Hello, science fair participants.
So many amazing projects.
358
00:17:06,602 --> 00:17:09,362
Almost all of them
went right over my head.
359
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:13,802
Regardless, the winner of this year's
blue ribbon is Velma Dinkley.
360
00:17:13,802 --> 00:17:16,523
- What?
- What? How?
361
00:17:16,523 --> 00:17:20,082
I didn't enter. Though rich me
does still feel pretty deserving of it.
362
00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:23,322
Velma, in conjunction with her partner,
Neil deGrasse Tyson
363
00:17:23,322 --> 00:17:27,043
{\an8}and with generous funding
from the Fred D. Jones Foundation,
364
00:17:27,043 --> 00:17:31,523
proved aliens are more likely to exist
than to not exist.
365
00:17:33,043 --> 00:17:36,122
- Burn the rich!
- You're welcome, Velma.
366
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,642
What? You bought
the science fair for me?
367
00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:41,402
But I didn't want to win.
And now everyone hates me.
368
00:17:41,402 --> 00:17:44,642
Velma, being hated
is a huge part of being rich.
369
00:17:44,642 --> 00:17:47,243
It's right up there
with calling waiters "garcon"
370
00:17:47,243 --> 00:17:49,723
and hiring lookalikes
to confuse crowds.
371
00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:52,402
Remember, you get paid
by the bruise.
372
00:17:52,402 --> 00:17:54,283
There they are. Get 'em!
373
00:17:54,683 --> 00:17:55,802
Well, I'm not rich.
374
00:17:55,802 --> 00:17:58,082
So, if people are gonna hate me,
I wanna earn it.
375
00:17:58,082 --> 00:18:00,122
Like Scrooge
or a bad boy of tennis.
376
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:01,283
I get that.
377
00:18:01,283 --> 00:18:04,963
It's just such a shame you'll never get
rich solving mysteries.
378
00:18:04,963 --> 00:18:07,283
Yeah, but only because my mom
will probably force me
379
00:18:07,283 --> 00:18:10,082
to do something boring with my life,
like cure heart disease.
380
00:18:10,082 --> 00:18:15,003
Actually, Velma, if solving mysteries
is what you wanna do, then go all in.
381
00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:17,483
Parents don't always know what's
best for their kids, right, William?
382
00:18:17,483 --> 00:18:20,683
Speak for yourself.
I handled Fred perfectly.
383
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,402
Why, this is the first weekend
in ages
384
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,043
I haven't heard any nonsense
about ghosts or Victoria.
385
00:18:26,043 --> 00:18:27,043
What?
386
00:18:27,043 --> 00:18:29,763
This means so much to me,
and my partner,
387
00:18:29,763 --> 00:18:31,683
Vermoose Drunkie.
388
00:18:32,122 --> 00:18:33,523
Everyone!
I understand you're upset.
389
00:18:33,523 --> 00:18:36,842
But I will not accept this
as I did not work on this project.
390
00:18:36,842 --> 00:18:39,402
Worse, I bailed on the team
I was supposed to work with
391
00:18:39,402 --> 00:18:42,723
because I didn't know money would
make me forget about my friends.
392
00:18:42,723 --> 00:18:45,122
Even though I was warned
by, like, every movie.
393
00:18:45,122 --> 00:18:47,723
Regardless, the blue ribbon
should go to Norville.
394
00:18:47,723 --> 00:18:49,723
His project is obviously the best.
395
00:18:49,723 --> 00:18:52,283
Thank you, Velma,
but I don't deserve it, either.
396
00:18:52,283 --> 00:18:55,203
I just copied work
my grandmother did in the '70s.
397
00:18:56,162 --> 00:18:58,203
The only project here
that looks like it didn't have
398
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:00,723
an adult actually doing all the work
is Fred's toast thing.
399
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,283
- Give the award to him.
- Seriously?
400
00:19:03,283 --> 00:19:04,483
I said, get off me!
401
00:19:06,203 --> 00:19:08,683
Thank you, Norville. It says a lot
when you get more support
402
00:19:08,683 --> 00:19:10,842
from the grandson of the woman
who ruined your life
403
00:19:10,842 --> 00:19:12,003
than your own father.
404
00:19:12,003 --> 00:19:15,763
Hey, we don't have enough context
to fully understand that.
405
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:18,243
It's okay, because I do.
406
00:19:19,043 --> 00:19:20,162
Fred, look,
407
00:19:20,162 --> 00:19:23,923
I'm sorry I refused to work
on your science fair project with you.
408
00:19:23,923 --> 00:19:27,602
I thought you needed a reality check.
But maybe what you really need
409
00:19:27,602 --> 00:19:29,162
is a father
who's willing to listen,
410
00:19:29,162 --> 00:19:32,043
even if what you're saying
is batshit crazy.
411
00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:35,842
Really? That was mostly the nicest
thing you've ever said to me.
412
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:41,043
Yes. Would you like to use our upper
limbs to briefly cling together?
413
00:19:41,043 --> 00:19:44,683
I suppose just this one time.
414
00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:53,723
Hey, Hot Bitch is missing!
415
00:19:53,723 --> 00:19:57,162
You freaks better not have taken her
for some messed up potion.
416
00:19:57,162 --> 00:19:58,802
I was gonna
feed her to my snake.
417
00:19:58,802 --> 00:20:01,283
Call them a freak again,
and I'll feed you to my fist.
418
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,882
Daphne. Don't let them
get under your skin.
419
00:20:03,882 --> 00:20:06,882
Most people dislike magic.
That's why all magicians are virgins.
420
00:20:06,882 --> 00:20:11,683
I know. It's just I wanted us to find
a clue and prove manifesting works.
421
00:20:11,683 --> 00:20:13,963
Maybe even win Gigi and Olive over.
422
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:17,003
But it did work.
Look what else was in the envelope.
423
00:20:21,082 --> 00:20:23,362
It works on people, too?
424
00:20:23,362 --> 00:20:26,203
'Cause I'm real tired of acting nice
to make people like me.
425
00:20:26,203 --> 00:20:28,362
Okay. Well, in that case,
426
00:20:28,362 --> 00:20:30,842
would you like to learn
some real witchcraft?
427
00:20:32,402 --> 00:20:35,362
Norville, is Daphne reading
a spell book with interest?
428
00:20:35,362 --> 00:20:37,082
And be warned,
your answer will dictate
429
00:20:37,082 --> 00:20:38,842
how hard I squeeze your arm
in frustration.
430
00:20:38,842 --> 00:20:42,683
Hard to say,
as I 100% don't give a shit.
431
00:20:42,683 --> 00:20:45,483
Norville.
How did you get these journals?
432
00:20:45,483 --> 00:20:46,882
How do you think?
433
00:20:46,882 --> 00:20:49,723
I dressed up as a ghost and stole them
from the police station.
434
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,443
- What?
- Yeah.
435
00:20:51,443 --> 00:20:53,602
Sometimes I do bad things
that you don't know about.
436
00:20:53,602 --> 00:20:57,602
For instance, I bought tainted pee
to pass your stupid drug tests.
437
00:20:57,602 --> 00:21:00,723
Oh, no! In neutralizing
his hallucinations,
438
00:21:00,723 --> 00:21:03,203
Norville accidentally
removed all his empathy.
439
00:21:03,203 --> 00:21:05,562
He's now functioning
with zero compassion.
440
00:21:05,562 --> 00:21:07,923
This is why you listen to me.
Science has side effects.
441
00:21:07,923 --> 00:21:10,842
Pot has none.
Now look me in my painfully dry,
442
00:21:10,842 --> 00:21:12,562
bloodshot eyes and apologize.
443
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:14,523
No, because I think
for myself now.
444
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:17,322
And I think smoking weed
makes you a loser.
445
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:21,802
That's just the science talking.
Take it back.
446
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,203
Or what, loser?
447
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,523
Or you'll get detention.
448
00:21:28,723 --> 00:21:32,882
And you can all join him
for saying "ooh" to my son.
449
00:21:32,882 --> 00:21:34,562
Saturday, 7:00 AM sharp.
450
00:21:35,602 --> 00:21:37,162
Welcome to hell!
451
00:21:37,602 --> 00:21:39,802
Wait. What were we
just talking about?