1
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,761
[Velma]
My name is Velma Dinkley.
2
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:12,804
[thunder rumbling]
3
00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:16,766
And this is my origin story.
4
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:20,437
Sure, normally, origin stories
are about tall, handsome guys
5
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,730
struggling with the burden
6
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,815
of being handed
even more power.
7
00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,358
And if they are about girls,
8
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,818
it's usually like,
9
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,445
"Hey, what made
this hot chick go crazy?"
10
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,613
So, to remedy this,
11
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,657
I've decided
to finally share...
12
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,492
-[creaking]
-...the bone-chilling events
13
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,077
that drove me to assemble
14
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,289
the greatest team
of spooky mystery solvers ever.
15
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,498
Yeah, it was me.
16
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,917
Not Fred and his weird sex van.
17
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:46,296
This is my story, told my way.
18
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,506
And it starts
with a murder, bitch.
19
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,843
[school bell ringing]
20
00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:56,014
Brenda?
21
00:00:59,017 --> 00:00:59,851
Ugh.
22
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:03,313
[groans] This school sucks.
23
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:09,444
[giggling]
24
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,820
[Daphne claps] Oh, hey.
25
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,489
Team shower
discussion topic of the day.
26
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,991
Have you ever noticed
how pilot episodes of TV shows
27
00:01:15,074 --> 00:01:17,035
always have
more gratuitous sex and nudity
28
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,203
than the rest of the series?
29
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,038
-Oh, my God, I have.
-So true.
30
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,832
That's how we learned
what Rachel Brosnahan's
boobs look like.
31
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,958
And Don Cheadle's butt.
32
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,503
Well, I, for one,
think it's lame.
33
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,796
-Agreed.
-So lame.
34
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,172
The lamest.
35
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,882
Oh, I actually kind of love it.
36
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,175
-[girls gasps]
-Sex sells.
37
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,426
And in today's
overcrowded market,
38
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you need a hook.
39
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,763
Um, the only hook
a good show ever needs
40
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:38,681
is good storytelling.
41
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,392
Then why was your favorite part
of the Riverdale pilot
42
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,936
when Betty and Veronica kissed?
43
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,354
Well, because
it was instantly called out
44
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,855
-as tired in the scene.
-[grunts]
45
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,649
No. It's because it was hot.
46
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,943
You can
have it both ways. [groans]
47
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,236
No, you can't.
48
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,613
Just admit
we are all secretly perverts.
49
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:54,948
-Never!
-[grunts]
50
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:58,368
[gasps, grunting]
51
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,038
[gasps]
52
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:02,997
[screaming]
53
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,707
[grunts]
54
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,877
And how do you feel about
race-blind casting, Daphne?
55
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,129
Well, as an Asian woman,
56
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,632
I, um, think it's cool.
57
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,801
I mean, not to oversimplify
a thorny issue,
58
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:18,555
but everyone loves it
when white people play
Jesus or a professional boxer.
59
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:21,057
Why can't it ever go
the other way, right?
60
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:22,392
Uh, yes.
61
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,727
I wasn't expecting
such an enlightened answer
62
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,021
from such a bitch.
63
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,231
Velma?
64
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,024
What the hell?
You almost killed me.
65
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,193
Guess I didn't try hard enough.
66
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,322
See? Now, if this was a show,
67
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,283
it'd be super hot
if you two kissed.
68
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,576
Krista, if this was a show,
69
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,994
you'd be killed off
for being horny.
70
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,080
Brenda?
71
00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:45,874
Wait, did you climb
in my locker to prove
how skinny you are again?
72
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,041
Ugh. We get it.
73
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:49,627
[all screaming]
74
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,212
She has no brain!
75
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,547
-[screaming stops]
-[scoffs]
76
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,465
I am not dissing her.
She has no brain.
77
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,302
[screaming]
78
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,512
[opening theme music playing]
79
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,558
[siren wailing]
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[Velma] Hello?
81
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,853
Anybody? I know my rights.
82
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,980
I get a phone call
and a handsome detective
83
00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:11,566
I infuriate
with my indifference.
84
00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:15,278
-[gasps]
-[creature] Who killed Brenda,
Velma?
85
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,946
You're not real,
you're not real.
86
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,740
[woman] Who isn't real,
sweetie?
87
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:20,617
[Velma gasps]
88
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,661
Uh, God's not real
if you two morons
are running this investigation.
89
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:27,624
[laughs] Oh, how we've missed
that sense of humor, girl.
90
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:30,835
Seriously. How long has it been
since Daphne had you
over to our house?
91
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,004
Uh, since my mom went missing.
92
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,297
Two years ago.
93
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,299
Oh, right. That.
94
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,176
Oh, my God. You totally forgot.
95
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,510
No, we didn't.
96
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,721
Every day,
we're closer to finding Doodad.
97
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,306
Diya. Her name is Diya.
98
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,600
You know what?
We're done here. Peace.
99
00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:46,935
[gasps]
100
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,978
Unfortunately,
we're not done here, Velma.
101
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,898
You're a suspect
in Brenda's murder.
Now sit.
102
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,609
I'm a suspect?
103
00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:56,486
I thought lesbians
were good at solving crimes.
104
00:03:56,569 --> 00:04:00,239
It's like
the one positive stereotype
perpetuated by cop shows.
105
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,659
Velma,
she was found in your locker
106
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,327
and you were lurking
around the showers
107
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:07,121
like a gym teacher who isn't
a gym teacher anymore.
108
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,998
Clearly,
someone's trying to frame me.
109
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,249
And I wasn't lurking.
110
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,085
I was waiting to shower alone.
111
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,169
Because of your weight?
112
00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:14,170
What? No.
113
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:15,880
Because of your handsome face?
114
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,090
My face is fine.
115
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,133
Because of your
hairy gorilla arm?
116
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:22,595
No, because I hate
your stupid adopted daughter
and her fake-ass friends.
117
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:29,519
And yet you and Daphne
used to be best friends.
Isn't that right?
118
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,854
Yeah, until Daphne got hot
and ditched me
119
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,898
to hang out with Brenda
and the other popular girls
120
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,274
-at Spooner's Malt Shop.
-[laughter echoing]
121
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,360
I could kill them all.
122
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,195
Okay, I see how this looks bad.
123
00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:42,865
Look, we know you couldn't
kill Brenda, sweetie,
124
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:45,868
but we also know
we're not, like,
the best detectives.
125
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,955
So the only way
we're going to convince
the sheriff you're innocent
126
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,416
is if you help us find
Brenda's actual murderer.
127
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,501
Help you find
Brenda's murderer?
128
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,211
But that's a mystery.
129
00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:57,964
And I don't solve mysteries.
130
00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,924
Not anymore.
131
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,853
Then you're screwed.
132
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:14,689
You've got 24 hours
and then we arrest you.
133
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:17,233
But still, so good seeing you.
134
00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:18,401
We miss you.
135
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,403
Say hi to your father
and Doodad.
136
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:21,362
Diya!
137
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:23,948
[cell phone beeps]
138
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[sighs]
139
00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:27,535
[yelps, grunts]
140
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,287
Hey!
Watch where you're going, jerk.
141
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,582
-Oh. [giggles] Hey, Fred.
-[camera shutter clicks]
142
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,043
-Do I know you?
-It's Velma, from school.
143
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,962
You cheat off me in Spanish
because you think I'm Mexican.
144
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,672
Maybe.
145
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,383
I have a disease
where I can't recognize
people who aren't hot.
146
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,678
My doctor says it's basically
sickle cell for rich guys.
147
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,055
Is it called rudeness?
148
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,557
It is. You're like, smart.
149
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,892
Oh, wow. Thank you.
150
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:51,934
Yeah, not a compliment.
151
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,436
Anyway, have you seen Daphne?
152
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,645
-She texted--
-[Daphne] Oh, Fred.
153
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:55,938
Thank God you're here.
154
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:56,939
-Whoa!
-Brenda's--
155
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,441
Into me. No, I know.
156
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,985
I'm caliente,
as this one's people would say.
157
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,279
No. Brenda's dead.
158
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,614
What? No!
159
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,491
She was my plan B
if you ever got too clingy.
160
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:07,450
What happened?
161
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,243
-Ask Velma.
-Who?
162
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,621
Me, Fred.
We were just... [sighs]
163
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:12,538
Forget it.
164
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:16,751
[both moaning]
165
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,086
-[zipper unzips]
-[Daphne] Mm.
166
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,463
-Not now, Daph. Geez.
-[squeals]
167
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,465
Then when, Fred? When?
168
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,759
And just FYI,
I didn't kill Brenda.
169
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:28,054
-[gasps]
-[creature] And how are you
going to prove that, Velma?
170
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:31,933
You don't solve
mysteries anymore.
171
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:34,310
You're not real.
You're not real.
172
00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:35,812
[inhales, whimpers]
173
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,772
-Seriously, who is this weirdo?
-[Velma whimpering]
174
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:39,607
Did your moms, like,
adopt another kid?
175
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,820
[Velma screaming]
176
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,989
Dad! You can't
just eat soggy fries
from the takeout container.
177
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,200
You have to crisp them
in the oven first.
178
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:52,912
I saw you eat a fry
out of the vacuum cleaner
last week, so spare me.
179
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,997
-I've had a long day.
-You've had a long day?
180
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,500
I was accused
of a murder I didn't commit.
181
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,335
And whose fault is that?
182
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,837
Excuse me?
183
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,673
Don't you raise your eyebrows
at me, Steve Harvey.
184
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,591
You know exactly
what I'm talking about.
185
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:06,843
[scoffs] Fine.
186
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,219
Velma, I love you.
187
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,971
But I'm a lawyer,
so trust me when I say this.
188
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:12,306
People only think
you murdered Brenda
because you...
189
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,810
Were voted "Most Revenge-y"
in the school yearbook. I know.
190
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:19,021
Oh, those yearbook guys
have no idea what's
coming to them.
191
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,690
No, because you're a weirdo.
192
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,316
Ever since
your mother disappeared,
193
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,193
you haven't even
tried to hang out
with the normal kids
194
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,361
at Spooner's Malt Shop.
195
00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:26,821
Maybe I'd hang out there more
196
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,282
if you hadn't knocked up
a Spooner's waitress
197
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,909
while your actual wife
is still missing.
198
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,828
Velma, that's not fair!
199
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,788
I'm not just a waitress.
I'm also--
200
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,332
A basic bitch
who doesn't even know
how to use hashtags?
201
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:41,919
No, I'm also, hashtag,
the owner of Spooner's.
202
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,255
Oh! The baby's kicking hashtag.
203
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:46,799
Hashtag, get my new camera
out of my bag, Aman.
204
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,052
[camera shutter clicks]
205
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,762
You got an actual camera?
206
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,389
With what money?
207
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,516
Dad says we can't even afford
to buy me a second sweater.
208
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,726
Oh, God!
209
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,477
I know,
but it's about priorities.
210
00:07:58,561 --> 00:07:59,812
You need a real camera
211
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,857
to capture real,
unmanufactured moments.
212
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,819
Well, I have to go
prepare myself for prison.
213
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:07,945
Not that you care.
214
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,406
Velma, real talk,
shero to shero.
215
00:08:10,489 --> 00:08:11,949
People only think
you're a murderer
216
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,327
because you're a creepy loser.
217
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,204
But that will change tonight,
218
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:20,458
when you become
a glamorous waitress
at Spooner's Malt Shop.
219
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,585
[screams]
220
00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,172
♪ If you're horny ♪
221
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:28,925
♪ Let's do it ♪
222
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:32,929
♪ Ride it, my pony ♪
223
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,180
[sobbing]
224
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,015
That was Brenda's
favorite song.
225
00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:39,268
And yeah,
normally in pop culture,
when a slutty girl is murdered,
226
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,146
we're all a little like,
"Well, maybe she deserved it."
227
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,899
But that is what made Brenda
so special.
228
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:48,110
She was the rare slut
that did not deserve
to be murdered.
229
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,321
-[clapping]
-Thank you, Krista.
230
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:51,948
That was beautiful.
231
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,242
But Brenda wasn't
just a rare slut.
232
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,618
She was a rare friend.
233
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,662
In fact,
she was such a rare friend,
234
00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:02,583
she made my previous
so-called best friend
look like a piece of crap.
235
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,460
[groans]
236
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:08,714
Especially now that I know
she's the main suspect
in Brenda's murder.
237
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,259
Daphne, sweetie,
that was private.
238
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,301
[scoffs]
239
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,427
Bump this noise.
240
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,056
[door creaking]
241
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,474
[sighs]
242
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,186
Nope.
243
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:26,315
Ugh.
244
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,153
-[whimpering]
-Hello?
245
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,614
[whimpering]
246
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:37,952
You're not real.
247
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:39,495
You're not real.
248
00:09:39,578 --> 00:09:40,538
You're not real.
249
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,543
I am real! A real man, Father!
250
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:47,378
[both grunt]
251
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,546
Who are you?
252
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,298
If I tell you,
will you remember?
253
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,549
I have an illness!
254
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,634
What are you
doing out here, Fred?
255
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,345
I guess since you're a stranger
I'll never see again,
I can tell you.
256
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,930
I'm trying
to pull myself together
257
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,308
so I can be the man
my father expects me to be.
258
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,351
Zam! DILF city.
259
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,562
-Sorry. Continue.
-No, I get it.
260
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,439
And I want to be
as manly as him.
261
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:10,359
But since Brenda died,
I can't stop crying
like a total puss.
262
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,278
Hey, hey. It's okay. I get it.
263
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,988
I have this whole thing
with my mom.
264
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,990
Did she put her cigars
out on you?
265
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,783
Uh, no.
266
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,078
My mom smoked cigarettes.
267
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:25,166
Figuring that out was
the first mystery
I ever solved.
268
00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,710
Oh, shit. Hi, sweetie.
269
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,170
Oh. [laughs]
270
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:31,922
See, my mother wrote mysteries.
271
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,049
Hmm. [gasps]
272
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,426
And from that day on,
273
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:36,886
she gave me
little mysteries to solve
274
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,512
while she worked and smoked.
275
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:42,641
Like the case
of the missing idea juice.
276
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,729
But eventually,
277
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,607
I grew bold,
and sought mysteries of my own.
278
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:55,363
But instead of feeling excited
I found my Christmas presents,
279
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,405
I felt terrible.
280
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:58,949
I'd ruined Christmas.
281
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,619
But still,
my mom felt so bad for me,
282
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,788
she ran out to buy something
I could unwrap
283
00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:04,789
Christmas morning.
284
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,960
That was the last time
I ever saw her.
285
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:13,089
Hey, don't forget
to buy yourself
something from me.
286
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,257
That night,
the police found my mom's car
287
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,427
abandoned and empty,
except for her glasses,
288
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,971
and a single
wrapped gift for me.
289
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,599
So I put on my mom's glasses
290
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,684
and vowed I wouldn't
open her gift
291
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:26,852
until I found her.
292
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,063
But I felt so guilty
293
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:30,398
that it was my mystery solving
294
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,108
that had caused her
to go missing,
295
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:35,736
I started having
horrifying hallucinations.
296
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,280
[creature]
This is all your fault, Velma.
297
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:42,451
-Why did you have to go
and solve your own mystery?
-[screaming]
298
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,123
Now, when I try
to solve a mystery,
299
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,418
my guilt triggers a potentially
heart-stopping hallucination.
300
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,962
Could exercising
and eating less
fried food help?
301
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:53,838
We'll never know.
302
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,131
Wow. After hearing that,
303
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:56,715
I not only feel
emotionally hooked,
304
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,093
I understand the stakes
of your journey, Velma.
305
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,220
[gasps] You remembered my name.
306
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:03,431
Huh? That's never happened
to me before.
307
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,807
-[engine revving]
-[tires screech]
308
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,642
Fred! Watch out!
309
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,477
You're right! If anyone ever
saw me talking to you,
I'd die of shame.
310
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,562
-[car honking]
-[both grunt]
311
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,524
-[screams]
-[tires screech]
312
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:15,651
Velma!
313
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:16,652
There you are!
314
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,195
Norville? What the hell?
315
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,281
You didn't answer my VMs.
Voice mails.
316
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,116
And then my dad heard me
call you the B word,
317
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:23,701
so I lost my phone
for 24 hours.
318
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,327
But I had to find you
319
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,871
because I still didn't know
if you'd listened to my VMs,
320
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,622
voice mails,
let alone responded. Did you?
321
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,791
Yes. And I don't want to do
our math homework together.
322
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,002
Just email me
your answers like always.
323
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,295
Yes, of course.
324
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:35,671
Though I left you
some other VMs, voice--
325
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:38,007
I know what VMs are!
Get to the point.
326
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,175
I already did.
327
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,760
-In my VMs.
-Ugh.
328
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,012
-[beeps]
-[Norville over phone] Velma,
329
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,346
it's Norville. From math.
330
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,764
I know who killed Brenda.
331
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,183
[gasps] Oh, my God. Who?
332
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,726
I left you six more VMs.
333
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,939
So I guess what I'm saying is,
I don't know who killed Brenda.
334
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,858
Damn it, Norville,
you're wasting my time.
335
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:59,320
If I can't convince people
I didn't kill Brenda
by tomorrow,
336
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:00,696
I'm going to be arrested.
337
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,072
I know, But I also know
how to find out
338
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,365
who did kill Brenda.
339
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,117
Have you ever wondered
why Spooner's,
340
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,786
a boring malt shop
owned by a woman
with a "breathe" tattoo,
341
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,705
is the coolest spot
in Crystal Cove?
342
00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:11,499
Only every day of my life.
343
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,042
On TV shows,
344
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,085
the malt shop owner
is always a friendly Black man,
345
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,296
or a spicy meatball Italian.
346
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:20,716
So you're like,
"Oh, the kids come here
for the folksy wisdom."
347
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:22,134
But Sophie has no wisdom.
348
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,220
Just a lot of T-shirts
with puns about wine.
349
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:27,932
Exactly. I think it has
something to do with drugs.
350
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,851
Which I hate.
351
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:35,147
So, I had one of my reporters
on the school newspaper
investigate Spooner's.
352
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,024
Guess which one.
353
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:38,984
Uh, Dorkus McNoFriends?
354
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,402
Well, Dorkus was actually busy.
355
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,112
So I gave Brenda my camera
356
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,156
to photograph
anything suspicious there.
357
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,326
And she said she got a picture
of something weird
in the bathroom,
358
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,619
but didn't say what.
359
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:50,579
Wait. So you think--
360
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,208
No, I know Brenda was murdered
to keep that photograph
from getting out.
361
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:55,876
[gasps] Holy crap.
362
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,796
Sophie just got a new camera,
which I know we can't afford.
363
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:01,590
Hashtag, get my new camera
out of my bag, Aman.
364
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,133
But what if she didn't buy it?
365
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,427
What if she took it from Brenda
after killing her,
366
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,680
to protect the secret
of Spooner's popularity?
367
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,848
If I can find
your camera on Sophie,
368
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,685
I'd solve Brenda's murder
and send Sophie to jail.
369
00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,019
It's a win-win.
370
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,231
Or maybe we could find
the camera together?
371
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:18,857
Together? Oh.
372
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,651
-Hmm.
-Oh, yeah.
Just because it's mine.
373
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,362
But also your hallucinations.
I could maybe help?
374
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,655
Oh, Okay. Phew.
375
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,615
I thought you were, like,
suggesting a date.
376
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,450
A date? [scoffs] You wish.
377
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,785
[scoffs, chuckles]
378
00:14:29,868 --> 00:14:31,203
A date. What? [chortles]
379
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:35,833
[snoring]
380
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:39,837
[grunts]
381
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,631
[cat yowls]
382
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,883
Holy mother of God.
383
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,844
Yes, it's true.
384
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:49,972
Sophie photographs babies
dressed up as vegetables.
385
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,390
It's our dirty little secret.
386
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,475
But that's how
she afforded the new camera.
387
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,978
Okay, but if this isn't
Norville's camera,
388
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,605
who killed Brenda?
389
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:58,522
-[growls]
-[yelps]
390
00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,982
Oh, no! The camera!
391
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,651
[screaming]
392
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:07,990
-Is someone trying
to solve a mystery?
-[heart thumping]
393
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,783
No. I was just
asking a question.
394
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,829
[screaming]
395
00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:15,331
Heart attack. [screams]
396
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,665
Velma, what is this?
397
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,667
Did you eat
all the gummy vitamins again?
398
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,629
Damn it, Aman. Can't you see
that she's trying to solve
a mystery?
399
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,797
[both grunting]
400
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,591
-[gasps, coughs]
-There you go.
401
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:26,842
-Get it all out.
-[coughing]
402
00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:28,927
Yep. Okay. Oh, boy.
403
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,512
-Still more.
-[sighs]
404
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,014
I'm sorry.
405
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,515
I thought you killed Brenda
because she figured out
406
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,476
the secret
to your diner's popularity.
407
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:36,644
I get that.
408
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,936
But there isn't
any secret to it.
409
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,688
Just good food, great tunes.
410
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,607
And I let teens
have sex in the bathroom.
411
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,568
And I'm sorry
I didn't believe you
about your hallucinations.
412
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,362
But, Velma, I told you this.
413
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:49,490
Your mother didn't go missing
because you solved a mystery.
414
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,284
She left us.
415
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,869
La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
No, she didn't.
416
00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:55,871
Something bad happened to her,
and it's my fault.
417
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:58,999
Because if Mom just left us,
it means she didn't love us.
418
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:02,961
Which is insane.
Sure, you were
a huge jerk, Dad, but I was...
419
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:03,962
["Sweet But Psycho" playing]
420
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,464
Oh, my eye!
421
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:08,717
My book!
422
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,635
[grunts]
423
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,013
My idea juice!
424
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:13,931
[gasps]
425
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:16,600
[music stops]
426
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:18,352
Oh, God.
427
00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:19,937
Mom wasn't taken.
428
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,065
She left because she hated us.
429
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,733
Yes.
430
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,777
So you can stop feeling guilty
about your mysteries, beti.
431
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:31,031
And you can start
changing your personality
to fit in and avoid prison.
432
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,282
Whoo-hoo!
433
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:34,618
What? Too soon?
434
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:35,536
No.
435
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:36,912
No, you're right.
436
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:38,956
It's time to stop
feeling guilty and move on.
437
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,133
[coughs]
438
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,092
[sighs]
439
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,761
[indistinct chatter]
440
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,013
[pop music playing]
441
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,181
[students gasp]
442
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,766
Wow.
Are you an exchange student
443
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,436
from a more
sexually liberated country?
444
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,062
-No, it's Velma.
-[students gasp]
445
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,731
I'm just unburdened
by the belief
446
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,441
I caused my mother
to go missing.
447
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,484
Well, now that you're not
a total dog,
448
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:09,903
do you want to hang out
at Spooner's Malt Shop later?
449
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,363
Yes.
450
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,157
Because I'm just a normal,
well-adjusted teen now.
451
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,241
Like all of you.
452
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,200
She is.
453
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,535
My opinion's changed.
454
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,787
Velma,
do you like playing cards?
455
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,331
Because I'm calling bullshit.
456
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,417
This outfit
is clearly just a ploy
457
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,668
to make us think you're not
458
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,421
a brain-removing
serial killer anymore.
459
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:28,589
Uh, no, it's not.
460
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:32,301
-[students booing]
-[grunting]
461
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,345
-[gasps]
-[grunts]
462
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:36,764
[shrieks]
463
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:37,639
[screams]
464
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,599
Enough!
465
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,144
My fellow populars, yes.
466
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,896
Underneath
this banging new look,
467
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:46,690
Velma is still the fashionably
challenged loser
468
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,401
we depend on
for group projects.
469
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,779
But last night, we spoke.
470
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,489
And yes, while it was awful,
471
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:56,825
I learned this is
not a creature
capable of murder. Nay.
472
00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:00,579
It is just a scared little boy
who wants our friendship.
473
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:03,081
[groans]
474
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,167
[cheering]
475
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,085
[scoffs]
476
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,552
[sighs] Perfect.
477
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:17,596
[gasps]
478
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:22,059
-Well, well, well.
-[toilet flushes]
479
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,063
-Well, well, well.
-[toilet flushes]
480
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:33,237
[whistling]
481
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,500
-Well, well, well.
-Look, whatever this is,
can you just get to it?
482
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:47,376
Class is starting.
483
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,502
I have a whole speech.
484
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:49,545
[school bell ringing]
485
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:50,796
[scoffs]
486
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,381
Fine. I'll just
skip to the main part.
487
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,341
Well, guess what, Velma?
488
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,718
If you want my boyfriend,
you can have him.
489
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,929
Boyfriend?
You think I want Fred?
490
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,264
I mean, sure,
if someone was, like,
491
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:01,682
"Want to see
a naked picture of Fred?"
492
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:02,850
I'd be like, "Hubba hubba!"
493
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,351
But I'd say that about anyone.
494
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:06,895
LeBron, Helen Mirren, a mummy.
495
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,398
Fred? Naked?
[scoffs] Hilarious.
496
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,442
We've been dating for a year,
and he still won't even
take his pants off.
497
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:13,610
A year?
498
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,070
-He gay?
-I haven't heard that rumor.
499
00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,447
I have heard rumors
about other people.
500
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,408
Yeah, we've all heard
those rumors.
501
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,827
Anyway, Fred's
so self-conscious
about his body,
502
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:25,205
he kicks everyone
out of the bathroom
at Spooner's Malt Shop
503
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,957
when he has to use it.
504
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,959
-So have fun with that.
-[door creaks]
505
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:32,087
Wait. The bathroom
at Spooner's Malt Shop?
506
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:34,256
Oh, my God.
507
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:36,341
Norville!
508
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,010
Hey, I was rethinking
509
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,303
our friendship this morning,
and maybe it's healthy if I--
510
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:40,596
No time!
Drive me to Fred's house!
511
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,097
I'll get my windbreaker.
512
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,853
Why would Fred kill Brenda
513
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,938
just because
she photographed him
in the bathroom?
514
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:50,939
Why wouldn't he?
515
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,274
If I were a rich white dude,
516
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,443
I'd kill everybody
just to get away with it.
517
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,653
But won't looking for my camera
trigger your potentially
fatal hallucinations?
518
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,030
Though
"Saving Friend from Death"
519
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,823
would make
for a great college essay.
520
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,617
My hallucinations have stopped.
521
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,577
Once I realized
solving mysteries
522
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,245
didn't cause
my mom to go missing,
523
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,289
I no longer felt the guilt
that triggered them.
524
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:09,166
Okay, but have you given
any thought
525
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,418
to all the other ways
you could die trying
to solve a mystery?
526
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:13,670
-[grunting]
-Crushed by
a revolving bookcase?
527
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:14,671
Attacked by bats.
528
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:15,797
Falling off a fence.
529
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:16,924
Stop. I'll be fine.
530
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,508
-[grunts] Ahh!
-[rustling]
531
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,052
Velma, did you fall?
532
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:22,512
No, I'm cool
and graceful like a swan.
533
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,932
Okay, 'cause it really
sounded like you fell.
534
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,267
[owl hooting]
535
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,185
[creaking]
536
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,820
-[cell phone ringing]
-[gasps]
537
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:39,821
What?
538
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,323
I'm bored.
539
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,325
Norville! Get off my jock
and let me solve this mystery.
540
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,369
[yelps]
541
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,037
[whimpering]
542
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,830
-Oh. God,
I'm starting to hallucinate.
-[heart thumping]
543
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,666
[Norville over phone]
You just said those were over.
544
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,876
Well, I guess I needed
more than three minutes online
545
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,420
to make a mental health
diagnosis, didn't I?
546
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:56,505
Oh.
547
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,048
Wait. This isn't so bad.
548
00:20:58,131 --> 00:21:00,550
No, it's not bad, Velma.
549
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:02,844
But it's going to be!
550
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:03,845
-[screeching]
-[Velma screams]
551
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:04,846
Help me, Norville!
552
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,057
[cackling]
553
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:08,684
[grunts]
554
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,019
Velma! Velma! Can you hear me?
555
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,480
Just remember,
these hallucinations
are only in your head,
556
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:14,940
so focus on what I'm saying.
557
00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:16,692
-[distorted moaning] Velma!
-[Velma grunts]
558
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:18,944
[growling] Velma.
559
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:21,071
You're not
saying anything. [screams]
560
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:24,282
I know! I'm, uh,
kind of drawing
a blank right now.
561
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,535
[whimpers, screams]
562
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:28,662
Have you seen
any good movies lately?
563
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:30,998
Oh, God.
Here comes the big one.
564
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:32,541
-Stop! You can't die.
-[heart thumping]
565
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,918
Why? I'm weird
and no one likes me.
566
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:35,961
That's not true.
567
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:38,255
I like you.
568
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,257
Like, like like you.
569
00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:41,425
-Wait, what?
-[softly groaning] Velma.
570
00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:42,759
No, you don't.
571
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:45,012
You're like a brother to me.
That's hilarious.
572
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:45,971
[chuckling]
573
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,057
[gasps] Wait. Norville.
574
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,517
Your joke worked, you genius.
575
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,519
-Keep making me laugh.
-I wasn't joking.
576
00:21:52,602 --> 00:21:55,230
-Your face is why
I get up in the morning.
-[laughing]
577
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,650
That's perfect.
One more time should do it.
578
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,235
Make it super cringy.
579
00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:02,738
[sighs] You're
the main character
in all my dreams.
580
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,031
[laughing]
581
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:05,574
Okay, stop.
I'm peeing. I'm peeing.
582
00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:09,870
Norville, it worked.
583
00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:11,371
Who knew you were so funny?
584
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:13,540
Yes, it's hilarious.
I'm the funniest man alive.
585
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:14,750
[siren wailing]
586
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,752
This is not
what I need right now.
587
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:21,465
Bingo.
588
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:24,926
Well.
589
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,386
These are just
Krista hooking up with--
590
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:27,637
Damn, Krista. Get it.
591
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:29,890
But why does
Fred have the camera?
592
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:34,269
-Because Velma,
-[gasps]
593
00:22:34,352 --> 00:22:36,480
Brenda also photographed this.
594
00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:38,774
[gasps]
595
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,692
Wait. Your secret is
you're hairless?
596
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,194
Uh, if I was hairless,
597
00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:44,696
I'd literally wear
a bikini to school every day.
598
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,073
Not hairless, Velma.
599
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:48,450
I haven't finished going
through puberty yet.
600
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:49,785
I'm a late bloomer.
601
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,621
How else are my features
so boyishly delicate?
602
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:54,623
But Father says,
if people know,
603
00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:56,708
they'll laugh,
and never respect me
604
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,919
as the man
and unquestioned leader
605
00:22:59,002 --> 00:23:00,629
that I am meant to be.
606
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:02,089
So we keep the secret
hidden away
607
00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:03,465
to avoid embarrassment.
608
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:06,468
Which is why Brenda,
and her stupid camera
609
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:09,304
left me no choice
but the unthinkable.
610
00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:10,222
Oh, no.
611
00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:11,681
It's okay.
612
00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:14,184
I'm just gonna to do to you
what I did to Brenda.
613
00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:15,143
[gasps]
614
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:21,483
[whimpers, breathes heavily]
615
00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:22,526
-[gunshots]
-[Velma gasps]
616
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:28,323
[screams] What the hell?
617
00:23:28,406 --> 00:23:30,033
[groaning]
618
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:31,243
You saved my life.
619
00:23:31,326 --> 00:23:33,036
You're not terrible cops,
after all.
620
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,621
They assumed
you were a package thief.
621
00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:36,665
-It worked out, didn't it?
-[chuckles]
622
00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:39,501
Okay. Well,
I proved my innocence.
623
00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:40,836
Can I go?
624
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:42,712
I'd like to wash
Fred's leg blood
out of my mouth.
625
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,506
Yeah, sweetie,
you're free to go.
626
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:46,341
But we're taking credit
for the arrest.
627
00:23:46,424 --> 00:23:49,594
Linda lost her taser
on a loop-de-loop
roller-coaster last week,
628
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:51,513
so, uh, we need a win.
629
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,640
Wait. You think
I killed Brenda?
630
00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,058
You just said
631
00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:56,685
you were going to do to me
what you did to her.
632
00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:58,937
I meant pay you to keep quiet.
633
00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:00,147
I'm innocent.
634
00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:02,190
I'm too much of a puss
to kill someone.
635
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,984
I'd laugh, Fred.
636
00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:06,361
If I wasn't
standing next to this
secret comedian over here.
637
00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:08,321
Man, if I found
humor attractive,
638
00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:10,323
I would be
all over you right now.
639
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:11,241
Oh, well.
640
00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:14,035
[sighs]
641
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,330
Hey, so if you
no longer feel guilty
for your mom's disappearance,
642
00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:18,790
why do you think
you hallucinated?
643
00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:20,208
The rules feel a bit muddy.
644
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:21,751
Muddy?
645
00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:24,045
Oh, sorry I'm not a drunk
on the verge of losing custody,
646
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,590
like every other woman
solving murders these days.
647
00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:30,385
Clearly I hallucinated
because I do still feel guilty.
648
00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:33,430
As annoying as I was,
649
00:24:33,513 --> 00:24:34,848
in my heart,
650
00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:37,100
I know my mom
loves me too much to have left.
651
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:41,855
It was my mystery solving
that caused her disappearance.
652
00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:44,524
But after catching Fred,
I'm back, baby.
653
00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:47,527
I'm gonna find my mom,
or die trying.
654
00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:53,658
Yuck! That is one mystery
I don't want to solve.
655
00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:55,076
Right? [chuckles]
656
00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:00,957
[yelps] Uh...
657
00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:01,833
Velma,
658
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,418
you should see this.
659
00:25:03,501 --> 00:25:04,336
[groans]
660
00:25:05,629 --> 00:25:06,463
[gasps]
661
00:25:07,923 --> 00:25:09,758
Oh, God! Krista!
662
00:25:09,841 --> 00:25:11,676
And she also has no brain!
663
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,887
[closing theme music playing]