1 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:17,602 《她們的怒吼》 2 00:00:18,478 --> 00:00:22,107 《受鴨子灌輸想法的女人》 3 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,613 -早安 -早安 4 00:00:29,531 --> 00:00:30,532 鮮奶油乳酪番茄口味 5 00:00:31,366 --> 00:00:34,035 真可惜你已經是 婚姻幸福的四寶爸了,馬力歐 6 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:37,455 好 7 00:00:37,998 --> 00:00:39,082 謝謝惠顧 8 00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:40,250 明天見 9 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:41,334 再見 10 00:00:46,381 --> 00:00:49,801 (醫學院入學考試) 11 00:00:49,885 --> 00:00:50,886 還在懷孕中嗎? 12 00:00:51,595 --> 00:00:52,721 妳在做什麼? 13 00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:54,097 跟平常一樣 14 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:57,017 在公園讀書,享受美好的一天 15 00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,727 妳整天一個人坐在長椅上 16 00:00:58,810 --> 00:01:00,145 我的孩子怎會有表弟妹呢? 17 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:01,897 我不是一個人 18 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,151 看看這些迷人的男友人選 19 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:10,405 看一下那隻綠色頭頂的 20 00:01:11,406 --> 00:01:15,452 牠的老二一定很大,又長又彎的那種 21 00:01:15,535 --> 00:01:16,536 這也太可悲了 22 00:01:17,621 --> 00:01:18,622 妳至少還用交友軟體吧? 23 00:01:18,705 --> 00:01:20,874 有啦 24 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,001 然後呢? 25 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,295 好的選擇太少了 26 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:34,012 上次約我出去的男人 帶我去喜劇俱樂部看他表演單口相聲 27 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:35,096 整場約會就這樣 28 00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:38,016 妳就搬回家吧 我敢說這裡的單身漢比較優質 29 00:01:38,725 --> 00:01:42,437 我想30多歲的人想找對象就是這麼難 30 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,231 這年紀的男人如果還單身 31 00:01:44,314 --> 00:01:48,193 那他要不是有什麼問題 就是有過情感創傷,不知道 32 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,444 我們幹嘛聊約會的事? 33 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:51,196 誰在乎?我想聽妳跟孩子們的事 34 00:01:52,447 --> 00:01:53,573 孩子們都很好,他們… 35 00:01:55,575 --> 00:01:56,993 妳也聽到了 36 00:01:57,077 --> 00:01:58,745 再見,孩子失控中,我得掛斷了 37 00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:09,548 你看什麼看? 38 00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,313 你想要什麼?菲力牛排? 39 00:02:25,397 --> 00:02:26,523 好啊,妳有嗎? 40 00:02:27,649 --> 00:02:29,818 -什麼? -我要三分熟的 41 00:02:32,362 --> 00:02:34,030 這是什麼鬼狀況? 42 00:02:34,114 --> 00:02:35,615 開玩笑的,鴨子不吃牛排 43 00:02:35,699 --> 00:02:39,077 我們也不愛吃皮太硬的貝果,跟妳說一聲 44 00:02:41,454 --> 00:02:42,914 妳在讀什麼書? 45 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:46,710 醫學院入學考試的書 46 00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:49,045 這是… 47 00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:55,010 為了準備一種考試,考過了才能… 48 00:02:55,093 --> 00:02:58,889 我知道醫學院入學考試是什麼 我是鴨子,不是傻子 49 00:02:59,723 --> 00:03:01,349 妳想當哪種醫師? 50 00:03:02,142 --> 00:03:06,396 我也許會選心臟科 我爸就是因心臟病過世的 51 00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:08,315 我幹嘛跟你說這些? 52 00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:11,401 節哀順變,妳一定很難過 53 00:03:12,652 --> 00:03:14,446 對了,我的老二的確很大 54 00:03:15,739 --> 00:03:16,990 還長滿了刺 55 00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:19,743 什麼? 56 00:03:19,826 --> 00:03:20,911 我只是回答妳的問題 57 00:03:22,537 --> 00:03:23,955 你剛才聽到我說話了? 58 00:03:24,039 --> 00:03:26,499 妳天天都來這裡 在公共空間跟妳姊姊視訊 59 00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:28,376 很難不聽到妳說話 60 00:03:30,086 --> 00:03:31,546 我叫賴瑞 61 00:03:32,339 --> 00:03:33,340 我叫艾莉莎 62 00:03:33,423 --> 00:03:35,884 妳姊姊為什麼這麼關心妳的感情生活? 63 00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:41,223 我想她只是太寂寞了 64 00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:44,768 而且她希望我跟她一樣結婚生子 65 00:03:44,851 --> 00:03:47,646 或者她已經完全接受父權體制 66 00:03:47,729 --> 00:03:51,233 並相信妳唯一的價值要靠男人來定義 67 00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:56,738 你是隻支持女性主義的鴨子? 68 00:03:56,821 --> 00:03:59,699 這片池塘只有我一隻公鴨 69 00:03:59,783 --> 00:04:01,368 妳覺得我有得選嗎? 70 00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:02,827 去你的 71 00:04:02,911 --> 00:04:05,664 給你的狗戴上他媽的狗繩,混蛋 看清楚告示 72 00:04:06,790 --> 00:04:07,791 明天同一時間再聊 73 00:04:26,893 --> 00:04:28,353 (Google搜尋) 74 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:31,106 (會說話的鴨子) 75 00:04:37,988 --> 00:04:42,242 (鴨子不愛吃貝果嗎?) 76 00:05:04,264 --> 00:05:08,894 (鴨子喜歡吃什麼?) 77 00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:15,859 蓋瑞… 78 00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:19,279 不好意思,嗨,抱歉打擾一下 79 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,780 我是動物管制員 80 00:05:20,864 --> 00:05:24,576 妳有看到一隻沒戴狗繩的澳洲牧牛犬嗎? 81 00:05:24,659 --> 00:05:26,202 我們都叫牠蓋瑞 82 00:05:26,286 --> 00:05:30,749 有耶,昨天看到的,不過我今天沒看到牠 83 00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:32,584 該死 84 00:05:33,335 --> 00:05:34,336 真煩人 85 00:05:35,545 --> 00:05:37,422 不過還是謝了 86 00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:43,511 只是…有大型暴風雨要來了,所以… 87 00:05:43,595 --> 00:05:47,057 我很希望能找到牠 讓牠在暴風雨來襲前待在室內 88 00:05:47,766 --> 00:05:49,059 我也希望如此 89 00:05:49,142 --> 00:05:51,144 祝妳平安,別淋到雨了 90 00:05:51,228 --> 00:05:52,562 我會沒事的 91 00:05:53,355 --> 00:05:54,689 如果我待在屋子裡的話 92 00:05:55,607 --> 00:05:56,733 保重 93 00:05:57,984 --> 00:05:59,027 真老套 94 00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:01,154 拿狗來當作跟女人搭訕的藉口 95 00:06:02,656 --> 00:06:03,657 嗨,又見面了 96 00:06:03,740 --> 00:06:04,991 妳回來了 97 00:06:05,075 --> 00:06:06,159 是啊 98 00:06:06,243 --> 00:06:08,203 我本來就天天都來 99 00:06:08,286 --> 00:06:12,916 所以…我又出現了 100 00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:16,002 我帶了東西給你 101 00:06:19,214 --> 00:06:22,133 玉米和葡萄 102 00:06:22,217 --> 00:06:23,593 妳上網查了我的資料? 103 00:06:24,678 --> 00:06:27,472 沒有,那也太奇怪了 104 00:06:33,395 --> 00:06:34,563 妳姊姊還好嗎? 105 00:06:35,063 --> 00:06:37,607 還好吧,看不太出來 106 00:06:38,191 --> 00:06:40,026 我昨晚打電話給她 107 00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:42,279 結果花了30分鐘聽她抱怨幼兒園 108 00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:46,658 有時我覺得當媽媽 只是受社會認可的自戀行為 109 00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:48,451 但你當然不能大聲發表這種意見 110 00:06:48,535 --> 00:06:49,619 妳剛剛就發表了 111 00:06:50,912 --> 00:06:54,082 是,我不知道我幹嘛那樣說 我很愛我姊姊 112 00:06:54,165 --> 00:06:55,208 她很棒 113 00:06:55,709 --> 00:06:58,044 給妳個值得深思的問題 作為妳餵食我的回禮 114 00:06:58,128 --> 00:06:59,129 好 115 00:06:59,212 --> 00:07:01,840 妳好像很在意要維持禮貌 116 00:07:01,923 --> 00:07:03,967 -我沒有 -也許妳該相信直覺 117 00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:05,969 也許妳姊姊就是個自戀狂 118 00:07:06,052 --> 00:07:09,639 她只會談她自己跟孩子的事 對妳的生活從不過問 119 00:07:09,723 --> 00:07:13,059 才不是那樣,她總是問我很多問題 120 00:07:13,143 --> 00:07:14,603 都關於妳悽慘的感情生活 121 00:07:14,686 --> 00:07:17,898 好讓她在相較之下覺得自己很棒 122 00:07:17,981 --> 00:07:19,608 她有問妳別的事嗎? 123 00:07:21,109 --> 00:07:22,110 她很忙 124 00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:25,614 叫她別再只為了自己的樂趣 而關心妳的生活 125 00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:29,618 你還有觀察到其他事嗎? 126 00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:33,622 有,那本醫學院入學考試的書 妳重讀了大概20次同一個章節 127 00:07:33,705 --> 00:07:36,917 看來妳要嘛就是分心了 128 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,878 要嘛就是妳最近不是很想讀書 129 00:07:44,966 --> 00:07:46,509 你有聽說有暴風雨要來嗎? 130 00:07:47,552 --> 00:07:49,346 妳是把那傢伙的搭訕話題拿來用嗎? 131 00:07:52,098 --> 00:07:53,183 這樣很討人厭 132 00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:55,143 -抱歉 -不…挺可愛的 133 00:07:59,189 --> 00:08:01,149 我能問你個私人問題嗎? 134 00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:04,903 鴨子下雨時會怎麼辦? 135 00:08:04,986 --> 00:08:07,614 那邊那些傻子很愛下雨天 136 00:08:07,697 --> 00:08:10,992 而我通常是躲在那張長椅下 才不會被冷死 137 00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:12,077 不過我不是在抱怨 138 00:08:30,011 --> 00:08:31,096 妳要邀請我進門嗎? 139 00:08:32,847 --> 00:08:34,849 (安妮) 140 00:08:37,936 --> 00:08:40,020 -哇 -抱歉 141 00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:41,273 (你的一票很重要) 142 00:08:41,356 --> 00:08:44,776 我這裡不常有訪客來 143 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,653 不,我喜歡這裡的氛圍 144 00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:49,489 成堆的信件、衣服 145 00:08:49,573 --> 00:08:52,659 成堆的鞋子、電線 146 00:08:52,742 --> 00:08:59,291 我的布置美學融合了學生宿舍跟廉價旅館 147 00:08:59,374 --> 00:09:00,667 別這樣說,這裡很不錯 148 00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:03,587 我也不常受邀到別人的公寓裡 149 00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:06,464 我都沒做任何事讓這裡漂亮一些 150 00:09:06,548 --> 00:09:08,967 我花了一個月想著要弄個主題牆面 151 00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:11,344 但當我逛油漆網站時 152 00:09:12,429 --> 00:09:14,347 他們的種類多到我無法選擇 153 00:09:14,431 --> 00:09:18,435 真是的,做就對了 把握機會讓生活更精彩,親愛的 154 00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:23,523 說不定你是那對房產兄弟 失聯已久的第三個兄弟 155 00:09:23,607 --> 00:09:25,317 房產兄弟是誰? 156 00:09:25,901 --> 00:09:27,861 他們的節目讓人欲罷不能 157 00:09:27,944 --> 00:09:28,945 就是說啊 158 00:09:29,529 --> 00:09:32,908 看,他們讓那個破廚房 煥然一新,值得讚賞 159 00:09:33,491 --> 00:09:36,995 我賭10美元,那個丈夫會哭 160 00:09:37,078 --> 00:09:39,331 我一毛錢也沒有,但我願意跟妳賭 161 00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:43,418 該死 162 00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:45,337 不,這是種套路 163 00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:48,965 那個充滿男子氣概、不信這套的丈夫 164 00:09:49,049 --> 00:09:50,592 會在他們丟掉他的皮沙發 165 00:09:50,675 --> 00:09:54,763 並換上舊家人照片 和組合式沙發時大為感動 166 00:09:54,846 --> 00:09:57,641 哇,妳對這節目很瞭解 167 00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:01,144 我有很專門的知識 168 00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:05,857 想吃甜點嗎? 169 00:10:05,941 --> 00:10:10,487 我可不會拒絕,今晚很棒 170 00:10:12,072 --> 00:10:14,866 我是說,妳很棒 171 00:10:18,328 --> 00:10:22,457 你對每個用腳踏車籃子綁架你的女孩 都這麼說吧 172 00:10:27,212 --> 00:10:29,839 你確定要睡在浴缸裡嗎? 173 00:10:29,923 --> 00:10:32,384 怎麼?妳要邀請我睡妳的床? 174 00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:35,595 我是個混蛋,但沒那麼壞 175 00:10:38,723 --> 00:10:39,891 你希望水多熱? 176 00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:41,851 室溫就好 177 00:10:42,519 --> 00:10:44,646 我知道妳喜歡成堆的東西 178 00:10:44,729 --> 00:10:47,691 但那些四處都是的海報是怎麼回事? 179 00:10:49,526 --> 00:10:53,029 我之前替人助選過 180 00:10:53,113 --> 00:10:56,366 我搬來這裡,然後… 181 00:10:57,867 --> 00:10:59,661 我不知道你關不關心政治 182 00:10:59,744 --> 00:11:02,956 不能投票的鴨子不太會關心政治 183 00:11:03,039 --> 00:11:06,668 我們當時就是在努力改善這部分,投票率 184 00:11:08,086 --> 00:11:12,257 總之,我的候選人輸了 185 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:17,137 現在我被困在丹佛,努力讓生活回歸正軌 186 00:11:18,096 --> 00:11:19,723 -那有用嗎? -什麼? 187 00:11:19,806 --> 00:11:21,266 填補空虛 188 00:11:23,393 --> 00:11:27,147 不,但能讓我暫時轉移注意力 189 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,858 有點像加入邪教 190 00:11:29,941 --> 00:11:33,445 但妳之後就決定 “去他的政治,我要當醫師” 191 00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:36,948 這會很像精神分裂嗎? 192 00:11:37,032 --> 00:11:39,534 不…只是感覺妳在經歷一段旅程 193 00:11:39,618 --> 00:11:41,828 我覺得我當醫師可以幫助更多人 194 00:11:41,912 --> 00:11:44,748 比當個政策專家有用一些 195 00:11:44,831 --> 00:11:47,417 妳這樣實在太沒有自主性了 196 00:11:48,585 --> 00:11:49,586 什麼意思? 197 00:11:49,669 --> 00:11:52,255 意思是妳太為他人著想 198 00:11:52,339 --> 00:11:54,633 甚至犧牲了自己的快樂 199 00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:56,134 我的觀察啦 200 00:11:58,762 --> 00:12:00,222 你總是這麼敏銳嗎? 201 00:12:00,305 --> 00:12:02,849 老實說,這是個天賦也是詛咒 202 00:12:04,768 --> 00:12:06,228 不,這是種全新感受 203 00:12:07,854 --> 00:12:10,023 我常常去約會 204 00:12:10,106 --> 00:12:16,905 沒開玩笑,這些男人 要不是問些無聊又隨便的問題 205 00:12:16,988 --> 00:12:18,823 就是只講自己的事 206 00:12:18,907 --> 00:12:20,909 完全沒有交流 207 00:12:20,992 --> 00:12:22,410 真慘 208 00:12:24,996 --> 00:12:28,416 你有沒有曾經懷疑… 209 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:31,962 是不是自己的問題? 210 00:12:33,129 --> 00:12:35,507 因為跟我約會的這些人 211 00:12:35,590 --> 00:12:39,344 就好像超市裡爛掉的水果 212 00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:40,971 他們顯然不完美 213 00:12:43,515 --> 00:12:44,891 但我總覺得… 214 00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:52,816 “等等,是不是我也很爛 只是我沒察覺?” 215 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,361 在我看來,妳一點問題也沒有 216 00:12:58,530 --> 00:12:59,573 你又不瞭解我 217 00:13:00,365 --> 00:13:04,244 我知道妳是個很棒的女人 值得擁有的比妳所想的更多 218 00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:12,794 水應該好了 219 00:13:16,923 --> 00:13:19,175 太好了,我在馬桶上快冷死了 220 00:13:25,181 --> 00:13:27,350 能幫我一下嗎? 221 00:13:56,087 --> 00:13:58,215 你真討厭 222 00:13:59,382 --> 00:14:00,842 嚇到了吧 223 00:14:02,844 --> 00:14:03,845 嘿,想進來嗎? 224 00:14:05,305 --> 00:14:06,431 讓妳暖和些 225 00:14:09,059 --> 00:14:12,812 -那我會裸著身體 -我也是裸著身體,別雙重標準 226 00:15:36,438 --> 00:15:37,647 真的不用我幫忙嗎? 227 00:15:38,356 --> 00:15:40,984 不用,我說了這是驚喜 228 00:15:56,207 --> 00:15:57,375 這是我們第一次約會時 229 00:15:57,459 --> 00:16:01,338 吃的所有東西 當時還不知道那是個約會呢 230 00:16:02,172 --> 00:16:03,423 只是我弄得更高級一些 231 00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:05,091 例如,我沒有放貝果 232 00:16:07,093 --> 00:16:09,221 而是做了這個酸種麵包 233 00:16:09,304 --> 00:16:10,388 我為什麼要吃那個? 234 00:16:13,683 --> 00:16:14,684 我不是在開玩笑 235 00:16:16,686 --> 00:16:17,771 等等,什麼? 236 00:16:17,854 --> 00:16:20,774 我得跟妳說多少次我不喜歡麵包? 237 00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:23,109 我以為只有貝果 238 00:16:23,193 --> 00:16:25,779 不,是所有麵包,沒有鴨子喜歡麵包 239 00:16:25,862 --> 00:16:28,323 千萬不要拿麵包餵鴨子 240 00:16:28,406 --> 00:16:31,493 事實上,麵包會在我們胃裡膨脹 並害死我們 241 00:16:31,576 --> 00:16:34,788 我想妳上網搜尋時沒看到這個吧? 242 00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:36,581 -賴瑞 -怎樣? 243 00:16:38,708 --> 00:16:40,043 -怎麼回事? -沒事 244 00:16:40,126 --> 00:16:41,127 只是實話實說 245 00:16:42,796 --> 00:16:47,050 妳也別吃澱粉類食物了,只是提醒一下 246 00:17:00,647 --> 00:17:01,648 嘿 247 00:17:02,649 --> 00:17:03,650 嘿 248 00:17:05,944 --> 00:17:06,945 我是個混蛋 249 00:17:08,112 --> 00:17:09,113 的確 250 00:17:10,323 --> 00:17:11,324 我能不能… 251 00:17:16,997 --> 00:17:19,748 妳是我一生中遇過最美好的事物 252 00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:23,460 而我顯然太害怕失去妳了 253 00:17:24,337 --> 00:17:28,925 所以我才會自作孽,我很討厭自己這樣 254 00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:33,805 但我愛妳 255 00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:38,768 -是嗎? -當然 256 00:17:38,852 --> 00:17:40,729 這是令我發瘋的原因之一 257 00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:46,484 你脾氣好差 258 00:17:46,568 --> 00:17:48,153 我爸的脾氣更差 259 00:17:49,696 --> 00:17:50,697 我不喜歡這點 260 00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:51,781 我並不完美 261 00:17:52,782 --> 00:17:56,620 我有時會很衝動,而我無法完全控制 262 00:17:56,703 --> 00:17:59,372 也許是某種天性 263 00:17:59,456 --> 00:18:02,709 但我…會努力改進,好嗎?為了妳 264 00:18:05,629 --> 00:18:10,050 我可以跟妳一起坐嗎?我…想待在妳身旁 265 00:18:19,226 --> 00:18:20,227 很好 266 00:18:24,648 --> 00:18:27,275 -抱歉,是莉莉 -妳接吧 267 00:18:33,281 --> 00:18:34,282 我們和好了嗎? 268 00:18:35,408 --> 00:18:37,494 因為這個後院就像皇宮一樣 269 00:18:37,577 --> 00:18:38,662 而妳是我的女王 270 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:42,040 妳在想些什麼?妳…可惡 271 00:18:42,123 --> 00:18:43,792 妳想把我送回公園去,我就知道 272 00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:46,086 我想我們需要造個水景 273 00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:51,591 像是小噴泉、噴水口,一點療癒的擺設 274 00:18:52,467 --> 00:18:53,593 太棒了 275 00:19:12,362 --> 00:19:13,655 妳消失去哪了? 276 00:19:13,738 --> 00:19:15,282 妳好 277 00:19:15,991 --> 00:19:19,035 妳上禮拜都沒接我的電話 要是我要生孩子了怎麼辦? 278 00:19:19,703 --> 00:19:22,706 -天啊,我都沒想到那點 -妳還好嗎? 279 00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:24,332 很好啊,我… 280 00:19:27,752 --> 00:19:28,753 我有對象了 281 00:19:28,837 --> 00:19:31,298 天啊,太好了 282 00:19:32,132 --> 00:19:33,133 還順利嗎? 283 00:19:33,216 --> 00:19:35,719 很順利,他很棒 284 00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:37,220 只是… 285 00:19:38,722 --> 00:19:40,140 我們才剛開始 286 00:19:40,223 --> 00:19:41,224 而且… 287 00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:44,311 他有些複雜 288 00:19:44,394 --> 00:19:46,563 -他結婚了? -沒有 289 00:19:46,646 --> 00:19:47,647 天啊 290 00:19:49,983 --> 00:19:51,443 我不太想說太多… 291 00:19:51,526 --> 00:19:54,487 不,好…你們才剛開始,是新戀情,我懂 292 00:19:54,571 --> 00:19:56,323 要知道我很替妳高興 293 00:19:56,406 --> 00:19:58,783 而且他最好明白自己有多幸運 否則我會痛扁他 294 00:19:58,867 --> 00:19:59,868 謝了,莉莉 295 00:19:59,951 --> 00:20:02,621 現在要檢查妳的子宮頸 296 00:20:02,704 --> 00:20:04,539 -那是誰?妳在哪裡? -我來做產檢 297 00:20:04,623 --> 00:20:07,083 看這個過重的寶寶 能不能順利通過我的陰道 298 00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:08,835 去吧,我們等會再聊 299 00:20:18,637 --> 00:20:19,930 賴瑞? 300 00:20:28,855 --> 00:20:30,023 妳好 301 00:20:30,106 --> 00:20:31,233 搞什麼鬼? 302 00:20:31,316 --> 00:20:32,692 妳說妳很快就回來 303 00:20:32,776 --> 00:20:34,527 我只出去了幾個小時 304 00:20:34,611 --> 00:20:36,738 看來我們對“很快”的定義不同 305 00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:41,243 你在整個屋子裡四處拉屎 306 00:20:41,326 --> 00:20:43,411 妳把後門鎖住了,所以我不能到外面去 307 00:20:43,495 --> 00:20:44,496 我還能怎麼辦呢? 308 00:20:44,579 --> 00:20:47,582 什麼?不對,等等,別怪到我頭上 309 00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:49,251 我沒有怪妳,只是說兩句 310 00:20:50,752 --> 00:20:52,420 你是個混蛋 311 00:20:53,004 --> 00:20:54,464 而妳很喜歡我這點 312 00:20:55,048 --> 00:20:57,968 你在我醫學院入學考試的書上拉屎 313 00:20:58,051 --> 00:21:01,137 我在所有東西上拉屎,別想太多 314 00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:04,724 是我想太多?我瘋了? 315 00:21:05,559 --> 00:21:07,060 這不代表什麼? 316 00:21:07,143 --> 00:21:09,479 嘿,那是妳說的,不是我 317 00:21:13,525 --> 00:21:14,568 嘿 318 00:21:17,362 --> 00:21:18,572 我們現在是怎樣? 319 00:21:18,655 --> 00:21:19,656 妳指的是什麼? 320 00:21:19,739 --> 00:21:21,366 這段關係很不健康 321 00:21:21,449 --> 00:21:24,536 誰在乎健不健康?那多無聊 322 00:21:24,619 --> 00:21:26,288 健康的關係不會讓人心累 323 00:21:27,789 --> 00:21:28,790 現在這樣我很心累 324 00:21:29,749 --> 00:21:30,750 妳信任我嗎? 325 00:21:32,878 --> 00:21:37,048 -老實說,現在不信任 -好吧 326 00:21:39,467 --> 00:21:40,510 為什麼這麼問? 327 00:21:41,011 --> 00:21:42,846 我想試試看一些方式,如果行不通 328 00:21:42,929 --> 00:21:44,180 那妳可以再也不用理我 329 00:21:44,264 --> 00:21:45,265 好嗎? 330 00:21:45,348 --> 00:21:48,560 但我需要妳信任我 至少在接下來的一小時內 331 00:21:51,688 --> 00:21:52,981 -好吧 -很好 332 00:21:53,064 --> 00:21:54,858 脫掉褲子然後躺下 333 00:21:57,277 --> 00:21:58,278 現在? 334 00:21:59,654 --> 00:22:01,489 -躺在地上? -還滿乾淨的 335 00:22:02,365 --> 00:22:03,491 對吧? 336 00:22:04,117 --> 00:22:05,827 妳為其他人付出太多了 337 00:22:05,911 --> 00:22:07,203 妳也為我付出太多了 338 00:22:07,287 --> 00:22:10,206 所以,我也想為妳做點事 339 00:22:38,276 --> 00:22:39,277 什麼? 340 00:22:47,535 --> 00:22:48,620 天啊 341 00:23:03,051 --> 00:23:04,636 天啊 342 00:23:04,719 --> 00:23:05,971 天啊 343 00:23:24,114 --> 00:23:25,949 該死 344 00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:36,042 可惡 345 00:23:38,044 --> 00:23:39,045 可惡 346 00:23:41,339 --> 00:23:43,592 可惡… 347 00:23:51,725 --> 00:23:53,226 -我太晚來了嗎? -還用問嗎? 348 00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:55,979 拜託,我犯了個愚蠢的錯 349 00:23:56,062 --> 00:23:58,565 是,我很抱歉,妳得重新報名11月的考試 350 00:23:58,648 --> 00:24:00,609 等等,那是三個月後了 351 00:24:01,234 --> 00:24:02,819 誰知道我還會不會… 352 00:24:05,655 --> 00:24:06,698 妳沒事吧? 353 00:24:14,998 --> 00:24:17,417 嘿,今天可是個大日子呢 354 00:24:18,627 --> 00:24:19,628 考得怎麼樣? 355 00:24:21,796 --> 00:24:23,381 -我沒去考試 -怎麼回事? 356 00:24:28,178 --> 00:24:29,429 我忘記了 357 00:24:32,098 --> 00:24:33,350 我忘記醫學院入學考試了 358 00:24:33,433 --> 00:24:34,434 妳…什麼? 359 00:24:36,144 --> 00:24:37,896 我讀了好幾個月的書 360 00:24:40,148 --> 00:24:41,983 最後卻搞砸了 361 00:24:42,067 --> 00:24:44,110 寶貝,我很遺憾 362 00:24:44,194 --> 00:24:45,195 不對 363 00:24:45,820 --> 00:24:47,113 也許這反而是好事 364 00:24:47,197 --> 00:24:48,240 怎麼說? 365 00:24:48,323 --> 00:24:51,201 妳現在多了很多時間 366 00:24:51,284 --> 00:24:53,954 能去思考妳真正想做什麼 367 00:24:55,497 --> 00:24:56,706 我想當醫師 368 00:24:56,790 --> 00:24:59,501 妳之前也以為自己想從政 369 00:24:59,584 --> 00:25:02,879 妳常常改變心意,雖說這不是壞事 370 00:25:03,547 --> 00:25:05,382 我好想躲進一個洞裡 371 00:25:05,465 --> 00:25:09,177 我會陪妳一起躲進去,好嗎? 372 00:25:12,222 --> 00:25:13,974 妳開始叫外賣了? 373 00:25:19,771 --> 00:25:20,814 是誰? 374 00:25:21,982 --> 00:25:25,193 天啊,妳已經一個月 沒回我的電話跟簡訊了 375 00:25:25,277 --> 00:25:26,278 我以為妳死了 376 00:25:26,361 --> 00:25:27,571 妳跑來做什麼? 377 00:25:27,654 --> 00:25:29,447 我挺著這麼大的孕肚 378 00:25:29,531 --> 00:25:32,325 在這麼熱的天氣開了一整天的車 379 00:25:32,409 --> 00:25:34,411 就為了來看妳到底發生了什麼事 380 00:25:34,911 --> 00:25:36,580 現在快讓我進去,然後… 381 00:25:36,663 --> 00:25:38,039 讓我喝杯水 382 00:25:38,123 --> 00:25:40,542 等一下,我馬上下樓 383 00:25:40,625 --> 00:25:41,960 -等我一下 -他在妳家嗎? 384 00:25:42,043 --> 00:25:43,712 不,我要下樓了,等我一下 385 00:25:48,383 --> 00:25:49,759 我要出去幾個小時 386 00:25:49,843 --> 00:25:52,929 妳知道要是妳離開那麼久,我會很焦慮 387 00:25:53,847 --> 00:25:55,557 我姊姊在樓下 388 00:25:56,850 --> 00:25:58,268 而我不能讓她進來,所以我… 389 00:25:58,351 --> 00:25:59,352 為什麼不能? 390 00:26:00,979 --> 00:26:03,440 嘿,為什麼不能? 391 00:26:11,865 --> 00:26:13,909 妳根本不喜歡妳姊姊 392 00:26:14,534 --> 00:26:15,535 才不是那樣 393 00:26:15,619 --> 00:26:17,954 別自欺欺人了,那正是妳搬來這裡的原因 394 00:26:18,038 --> 00:26:20,624 為了躲避她和她對妳的意見 395 00:26:30,550 --> 00:26:32,469 我只是想出去透透氣 396 00:26:34,971 --> 00:26:37,265 妳現在開始無視我了 397 00:26:37,349 --> 00:26:39,142 我會替你加熱些吃的 398 00:26:39,226 --> 00:26:41,102 -別裝傻 -我沒有 399 00:26:41,186 --> 00:26:42,604 蠢賤人 400 00:26:46,149 --> 00:26:47,901 -這不好笑 -我沒開玩笑 401 00:26:48,485 --> 00:26:50,737 -別那樣罵我 -那就別做欠罵的事 402 00:26:53,281 --> 00:26:54,866 我要出門一下 403 00:26:56,201 --> 00:26:58,328 不要在我不在時到處拉屎 404 00:26:58,411 --> 00:26:59,746 搞什麼鬼? 405 00:27:04,918 --> 00:27:05,919 我流血了 406 00:27:06,002 --> 00:27:07,379 真可憐,妳割傷自己了 407 00:27:07,963 --> 00:27:08,964 是你割傷了我 408 00:27:09,047 --> 00:27:10,674 很遺憾妳這麼認為 409 00:27:14,678 --> 00:27:16,429 蔥油餅看起來很好吃 410 00:27:18,265 --> 00:27:19,266 妳的臉怎麼了? 411 00:27:21,226 --> 00:27:22,227 什麼? 412 00:27:25,188 --> 00:27:26,690 我割傷自己了 413 00:27:27,524 --> 00:27:29,901 親愛的,我們可以等等再點餐嗎? 414 00:27:30,569 --> 00:27:31,861 我真的很擔心妳 415 00:27:31,945 --> 00:27:34,447 我說了我沒事,妳不用把我當作小孩子 416 00:27:35,073 --> 00:27:36,908 聽好,我很高興妳有對象了 417 00:27:36,992 --> 00:27:38,952 但一個好男友不會阻止妳過自己的生活 418 00:27:39,035 --> 00:27:40,787 他沒有阻止我過自己的生活,莉莉 419 00:27:42,872 --> 00:27:46,793 他讓我跟妳保持距離 而那讓我的生活變好了 420 00:27:47,919 --> 00:27:50,547 妳總是催促我去約會 421 00:27:51,715 --> 00:27:53,258 還問我未來的計畫 422 00:27:53,341 --> 00:27:55,719 我只是希望妳能找到讓妳快樂的事 423 00:27:55,802 --> 00:27:57,846 但妳看,就連妳這句話都讓我不舒服 424 00:27:58,346 --> 00:27:59,764 也許我現在就很快樂 425 00:27:59,848 --> 00:28:02,017 那很好,至少我們倆有一個是快樂的 426 00:28:02,934 --> 00:28:04,144 妳不快樂嗎? 427 00:28:04,227 --> 00:28:06,146 當然不 428 00:28:06,730 --> 00:28:09,274 這個寶寶是意外懷上的 429 00:28:09,357 --> 00:28:11,985 我跟安德魯很少上床,所以我們都很驚訝 430 00:28:12,068 --> 00:28:15,113 無論如何,她會出生,而我會很愛她 431 00:28:15,196 --> 00:28:17,407 但我真的很希望能回到懷孕前的狀態 432 00:28:17,490 --> 00:28:18,617 還有懷孕前的生活 433 00:28:22,579 --> 00:28:23,788 我錯過醫學院入學考試了 434 00:28:23,872 --> 00:28:24,956 什麼?為什麼? 435 00:28:25,540 --> 00:28:27,792 我想我不是當醫師的料 436 00:28:27,876 --> 00:28:29,127 妳在說什麼? 437 00:28:29,211 --> 00:28:31,922 我總是三心二意 438 00:28:32,964 --> 00:28:35,508 我會不斷質疑自己的選擇 439 00:28:36,259 --> 00:28:37,594 我連自己都照顧不好 440 00:28:37,677 --> 00:28:40,096 我憑什麼認為我有能耐去照顧別人? 441 00:28:40,180 --> 00:28:41,806 什麼?不,少胡說了 442 00:28:42,307 --> 00:28:44,392 妳是我所認識最聰明、最有愛心的人 443 00:28:44,476 --> 00:28:47,270 爸當初生病時,妳整個過程都陪著他 444 00:28:47,354 --> 00:28:49,814 詢問所有關鍵的問題,比我做得好多了 445 00:28:49,898 --> 00:28:52,317 因為我那時單身,而且跟他相依為命 446 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,028 不,是因為妳是個善良的人 447 00:28:56,154 --> 00:28:58,073 妳是個很棒的人 448 00:28:58,698 --> 00:28:59,950 是他讓妳有這種想法嗎? 449 00:29:04,746 --> 00:29:06,539 聽好,如果這傢伙讓妳貶低自己 450 00:29:06,623 --> 00:29:09,542 我發誓,我會去殺了他 451 00:29:09,626 --> 00:29:12,295 他們大可把我這孕婦關在牢裡 我可沒在開玩笑 452 00:29:20,387 --> 00:29:21,805 不,我們點餐吧 453 00:29:29,813 --> 00:29:32,482 拜託不要在開車回家的路上生孩子 454 00:29:32,566 --> 00:29:34,484 要是我真的在路上生了,那都怪妳 455 00:29:36,528 --> 00:29:37,529 我愛妳 456 00:29:38,655 --> 00:29:39,739 要接我電話 457 00:29:43,326 --> 00:29:45,328 (萬里長城餐廳) 458 00:30:06,766 --> 00:30:07,934 感謝你過來 459 00:30:08,018 --> 00:30:10,061 -艾莉莎? -我不知道還能打給誰 460 00:30:16,651 --> 00:30:18,737 嘿,小傢伙 461 00:30:19,279 --> 00:30:22,490 這個鬍子男來這裡做什麼? 誰讓你進來的? 462 00:30:23,825 --> 00:30:25,994 哇,有人很生氣呢 463 00:30:26,077 --> 00:30:28,163 別擔心,我不會傷到你 464 00:30:28,246 --> 00:30:32,125 如果這傲慢的蠢貨 以為自己可以靠頭腦贏過我… 465 00:30:32,208 --> 00:30:35,879 艾莉莎,親愛的,艾莉莎 妳這愚蠢的醜賤人 466 00:30:35,962 --> 00:30:38,381 這…是妳的主意嗎?妳這背叛人的婊子 467 00:30:38,465 --> 00:30:40,008 這鴨子話可真多 468 00:30:40,091 --> 00:30:41,551 好了,混蛋,離我遠點 469 00:30:41,635 --> 00:30:42,636 -好 -艾莉莎 470 00:30:42,719 --> 00:30:44,888 這裡,好耶 471 00:30:45,388 --> 00:30:46,598 好了 472 00:30:47,974 --> 00:30:51,811 搞定,該走了 473 00:30:51,895 --> 00:30:54,231 我不走,這…是我的公寓 474 00:30:54,314 --> 00:30:56,733 艾莉莎,我會他媽殺了妳 475 00:31:02,113 --> 00:31:04,658 (動物管制) 476 00:31:04,741 --> 00:31:06,743 -嗨 -嗨 477 00:31:07,702 --> 00:31:09,162 再次感謝你 478 00:31:09,246 --> 00:31:11,498 不客氣,本來就是我的工作 479 00:31:13,208 --> 00:31:16,545 天啊,真抱歉,我應該付你錢嗎? 480 00:31:16,628 --> 00:31:19,339 不用,這是市政服務,我領市府薪水的 481 00:31:20,507 --> 00:31:23,969 我只是想確認妳沒事 482 00:31:24,052 --> 00:31:26,471 妳剛才似乎嚇壞了 483 00:31:28,181 --> 00:31:29,182 是啊 484 00:31:33,937 --> 00:31:36,189 跟那隻鴨子相處不容易 485 00:31:36,273 --> 00:31:38,567 沒錯 486 00:31:38,650 --> 00:31:42,862 牠們是習性莫名凶猛的動物 487 00:31:42,946 --> 00:31:45,240 人們都覺得牠們很可愛,很想抱抱牠們 488 00:31:45,323 --> 00:31:48,243 但牠們其實壞得要命 489 00:31:48,326 --> 00:31:50,370 尤其是公鴨 490 00:31:50,912 --> 00:31:52,998 我很驚訝妳能養牠這麼久 491 00:31:53,915 --> 00:31:55,917 人的忍耐力有時很驚人 492 00:31:57,210 --> 00:32:00,422 妳有讀過那篇文章嗎? 我記得是《紐約客》雜誌上的 493 00:32:00,505 --> 00:32:04,259 關於鴨子如何交配以及牠們的父權體制 494 00:32:04,342 --> 00:32:07,762 有些內容真的很令人震驚 495 00:32:09,598 --> 00:32:12,017 抱歉,我不是什麼怪胎,我保證 496 00:32:12,100 --> 00:32:15,645 我只是個喜歡科學的書呆子 497 00:32:17,147 --> 00:32:18,231 -妳也是? -沒錯 498 00:32:18,315 --> 00:32:19,316 什麼? 499 00:32:19,399 --> 00:32:20,859 -對 -原來如此,看啊 500 00:32:20,942 --> 00:32:22,110 妳什麼時候要考醫學院? 501 00:32:22,193 --> 00:32:24,404 幾個月後 502 00:32:24,487 --> 00:32:27,657 而我正在努力把注意力放回書本中 503 00:32:28,950 --> 00:32:30,869 妳要搭便車到公園嗎? 504 00:32:30,952 --> 00:32:32,162 反正我得把那混蛋 505 00:32:32,245 --> 00:32:33,622 -放回池塘,所以… -不用… 506 00:32:35,123 --> 00:32:37,083 看看那小傢伙 507 00:32:37,167 --> 00:32:40,921 我想我…應該待在有人群的地方 508 00:32:41,838 --> 00:32:43,381 所以我會找個咖啡廳 509 00:32:43,465 --> 00:32:46,551 如果妳在經歷這一切後還想養寵物 就養隻狗吧 510 00:32:46,635 --> 00:32:48,011 我這裡有兩隻被救援的狗 511 00:32:48,094 --> 00:32:51,264 一隻叫州長,但其實要叫牠老大 512 00:32:51,348 --> 00:32:53,850 另一隻叫艾索福里 都在我家,牠們超棒的 513 00:32:56,728 --> 00:32:57,771 我現在… 514 00:32:58,438 --> 00:33:01,233 還不太想再照顧另一個生命 515 00:33:03,652 --> 00:33:05,070 除了我自己以外 516 00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:11,743 好吧,如果妳又遇上失控的動物事件 517 00:33:11,826 --> 00:33:13,662 記得找我幫忙 518 00:33:16,039 --> 00:33:19,834 或者,如果妳想喝一杯,也可以找我 519 00:33:23,588 --> 00:33:25,674 我才剛結束一段關係 520 00:33:27,092 --> 00:33:28,760 就在五秒鐘前 521 00:33:28,843 --> 00:33:30,554 不,我明白,太快了 522 00:33:31,471 --> 00:33:33,807 沒關係,好吧 523 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,605 嘿,要不這樣吧 524 00:33:40,689 --> 00:33:43,817 我可以過幾個月後打給妳嗎? 525 00:33:44,484 --> 00:33:46,778 在妳的醫學院入學考試之後? 526 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,240 除非妳到時已經遇上某個不錯的醫師了 527 00:33:52,576 --> 00:33:54,995 我不需要遇上什麼不錯的醫師 528 00:33:55,996 --> 00:33:58,582 因為我自己就會是個不錯的醫師 529 00:34:25,358 --> 00:34:27,277 (改編自西西莉雅艾亨著作) 530 00:35:31,341 --> 00:35:33,343 字幕翻譯:翁乙玄