1 00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:03,971 - ♪♪ MTV ♪♪ 2 00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:06,206 - Previously on "Couples Retreat"... 3 00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:07,274 - Oh, what the hell? 4 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,910 - Oh, oh, oh! 5 00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:11,645 - Welcome to our dungeon. 6 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,747 - I'm trying to get back to the room. 7 00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,516 - Yes. 8 00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:18,619 - Today had me feeling kind of sexy 9 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,354 with the little spice added. 10 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,822 - Get ready. 11 00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:23,957 - The whup on the booty with that paddle. 12 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,528 Like, hmm, this is what we been missing. 13 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:33,834 [cheers and applause] 14 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,769 - The way you wanted the older, past relationships 15 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:36,737 to treat you-- 16 00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:38,138 - Mm-hmm. 17 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,473 - --that's how you should treat him. 18 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,842 Ease up a little bit. 19 00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:45,979 - Joc told you he had a baby with another woman. 20 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,548 - I'm still triggered by it. 21 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:49,816 - You're too good to let the world 22 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:53,253 and the media continue to toxify 23 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,389 what you're trying to have. 24 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:57,491 - People look at our situation and think it's, 25 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,926 like, too good to be true. 26 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,761 We've already been through the craziness. 27 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:01,995 You got it, girl. 28 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,897 - I've always struggle with anxiety. 29 00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,265 I'm so scared. 30 00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:06,900 - It's OK. 31 00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:10,170 I'm always down to improve and elevate our situation. 32 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,839 - Yeah. 33 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,440 - But I'm tired. 34 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,648 [Mary J Blige's "Real Love"] 35 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:28,655 ♪♪ ♪♪ 36 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:41,902 - ♪♪ Is this the lifestyle of the rich and famous ♪♪ 37 00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:43,470 ♪♪ Rich and famous? ♪♪ 38 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,706 ♪♪ Pull up in foreign, head straight to VIP ♪♪ 39 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,641 - "If you both were trapped in the desert-- 40 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:50,110 - Or an isolated island, who do you-- 41 00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:51,612 - Think would survive?" 42 00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,614 - You're a techie. 43 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,016 I'm an animals person in nature. 44 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,985 - How are you gonna build a house? 45 00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,753 How are you gonna do these things? 46 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,122 You talking to animals, that's not gonna help. 47 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:03,490 - [laughs] 48 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:04,591 - We'd both survive it. - We good. 49 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,193 - We good. 50 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,427 - We could build sand castles and some mo' [bleep]. 51 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:09,530 - Oh, yeah. - I done caught sardines. 52 00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:10,831 - I know how to make a fire. - Yeah. 53 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:11,932 - Yeah. - And I'll eat some leaves. 54 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,500 I ain't tripping. - Yeah. 55 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,068 - We'll figure it out. - One of us. 56 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,670 Only one of us can survive. - Only one of us can survive? 57 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,505 - We got to pick one. 58 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:21,675 - I'm gonna sacrifice, you know, so that you can survive. 59 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,144 Like, honestly, I don't know if you feel the same way. 60 00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,579 - I'm younger. 61 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,047 - [laughs] 62 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,282 - I'm the mom. 63 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:29,349 [laughs] 64 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,517 - What's that got-- 65 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,486 - The kids love me, you know? 66 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:35,255 So I need to be the one to live. 67 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,924 - This is some bull[bleep] right here, man. 68 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,492 - [laughs] - Hold on. 69 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,460 Another question that's out of here. 70 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:43,197 - [laughs] 71 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:47,000 [light music] 72 00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,836 - ♪♪ It's somebody, not just anybody ♪♪ 73 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:51,805 ♪♪ You ain't trying to be nobody else but you ♪♪ 74 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,841 ♪♪ That's why I really don't mind ♪♪ 75 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,510 ♪♪ Spending all my time with you ♪♪ 76 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:59,580 - Last night was fun, and it definitely 77 00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:03,350 was a reminder of how it felt when we first started dating. 78 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,652 - I want you to kiss like it's your last kiss. 79 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,188 - Like "Titanic" it. 80 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:10,757 Oh, look at the tongue. 81 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,359 - More tongue wrestling. 82 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,762 - That kiss was like we were like Jack and Rose 83 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,264 on the "Titanic." 84 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,565 It's just, the difference was I just didn't 85 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,667 throw your ass overboard, so-- 86 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:21,635 - Damn. 87 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,203 - [laughs] 88 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,938 - What's really interesting, since we've been here, 89 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:28,876 we really haven't, like, had enough time to just, like, 90 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:32,613 reflect on everything we learning while we're here. 91 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,883 What do you think you're taking away from this? 92 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:39,753 - I'm learning, in my opinion, how to communicate 93 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,822 unpleasant things better. 94 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:45,792 I'm owning my irritability. 95 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,494 I don't want to be that way. 96 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,029 I'm not proud of some of the ways 97 00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,765 that I've reacted and acted with Jasiel on this trip. 98 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,767 Sometimes the [bleep] that you do 99 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,869 is a [bleep] embarrassment to me, [bleep]. 100 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,838 And it's important for me to actually take 101 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,007 some accountability for my actions. 102 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,210 One of my goals being here is to learn 103 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,646 how to identify certain things, whether it's 104 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,915 a trigger, a topic that, you know, 105 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:11,051 can easily turn into an argument or a yelling match, 106 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:14,888 but finding a way to still express myself 107 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:18,225 but to do it with tact in a respectful way, 108 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:21,895 especially after our two-on-one with AJ. 109 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,298 - You married him. 110 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,867 You said last night you gonna stay with him. 111 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,168 So now let's design what that really 112 00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:32,039 looks like as opposed to feeling 113 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,308 attacked and triggered and-- 114 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:35,943 especially if it's not new. 115 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,446 - It made me say, OK, because I made that choice 116 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:43,116 to stay and continue to work towards marriage, it's like, 117 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:46,553 I'm not able to just jump out of bag and just be all irate. 118 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,357 It's like, I have to find some type of compromise, period. 119 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:52,559 I read this post today. 120 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,896 It said, you got to take responsibility 121 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:56,964 for your triggers. 122 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,498 That's your problem. 123 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:02,703 And so, that's what I'm working on doing better. 124 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,204 - And I'm not gonna let you trigger me. 125 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,773 I won't allow me to be triggered any longer. 126 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,141 - OK. 127 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,143 - 'Cause sometimes, in a relationship, 128 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,979 you feel like you know better. 129 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,014 So when you make me feel like this, 130 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:16,817 I have to last shot and make you feel the same way. 131 00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:18,185 And then it builds up. 132 00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:19,553 And then y'all looking at each other like, 133 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,988 well, why are we together? 134 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,656 I don't want to get to that space with you. 135 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,391 - I don't want to get there, neither. 136 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,994 - I will say, I am proud of you taking accountability. 137 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:30,163 And I really figured out if I know it's a trigger, 138 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,466 I probably shouldn't say it or do it. 139 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,934 - This has just been the-- 140 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,802 the most different Vegas trip. 141 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,606 - I think we should. 142 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,909 - Yep. 143 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,777 I think I been losing weight out here, too. 144 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,345 I'm happier. 145 00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,247 - I thought I was until I put on that damn bodysuit. 146 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,882 [laughter] 147 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,919 [upbeat music] 148 00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:56,156 - So I am seeing the headlines 149 00:05:56,223 --> 00:06:01,361 about Simon and Portia getting married. 150 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:04,565 It's just retraumatizing every time I see it. 151 00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:07,868 I'm truly just over it all. 152 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:10,504 It's just been really hard on Jaylan. 153 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:15,242 Everyone is comparing Jaylan to this 60-year-old man. 154 00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,978 And it makes him feel insecure with, you know, 155 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,614 all the comments and the blogs. 156 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:21,748 And he pressure is real. 157 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,217 - ♪♪ It takes two to tango ♪♪ 158 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,785 ♪♪ Like lead and follow ♪♪ 159 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:27,855 ♪♪ Like day and nighttime, today or tomorrow ♪♪ 160 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,289 - Hi, beautiful. 161 00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,691 - Hey, come on in. 162 00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,092 - You look so beautiful. - How are you? 163 00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,861 - What's up? - Craziness. 164 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,095 - [laughs] 165 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:38,165 - While I've witnessed Bre-Z and Chris 166 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,534 in their codependency, I'm really, 167 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,604 really excited to see Bre-Z open up a little bit 168 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:46,073 and let Chris fly, literally. 169 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,642 Chris is embracing a little bit more independence. 170 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,277 We've got a few more days. 171 00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:52,846 I want to see if they're gonna open up and tell 172 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,715 me more how I can help. 173 00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:55,682 Your son is 11? 174 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,984 both: Mm-hmm. 175 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,952 - How's your son in your relationship? 176 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,354 - He loves it. 177 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,488 The moment-- 178 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,656 - He thought I was a boy. 179 00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:03,657 - Yeah. 180 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:04,758 - Did he? 181 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:05,993 - For a few-- few months. 182 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,094 - For a few months. 183 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,095 He thought I was the coolest guy 184 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,763 he had ever met in his life. 185 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,298 - Yeah, we went bowling, and then I said, 186 00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:13,033 did you have a good time with her? 187 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,034 He's walking. 188 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,002 He said, wait, her? 189 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,905 I said, yeah. 190 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,273 Bre-Z is a girl. 191 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,241 He said, what? 192 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,844 And then he said, well, she's cool. 193 00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:27,147 I mean, if she makes you happy, Mommy, I mean, I'm happy. 194 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,349 - So is this your first relationship with a woman? 195 00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:30,317 - Mm-hmm. 196 00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:31,451 - It is? 197 00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:33,153 - Mm-hmm. 198 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:36,056 We became friends, and she was just so nurturing, 199 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:36,990 there, just there and-- 200 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,025 - Attentive. 201 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,693 - --attentive. 202 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,197 I saw what she goes through with friends and people, 203 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:47,067 and I wanted to give her that extra love that was needed. 204 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,136 I just felt it in my heart. 205 00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:54,908 I feel like I always see Bre-Z pour into so many people 206 00:07:54,975 --> 00:08:00,848 and give so much to people, whether it's her time, advice. 207 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,016 And it's a lot. 208 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,351 It could be a lot for somebody who 209 00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:06,119 feels so deeply the way she does, 210 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,121 because she cares so much. 211 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:12,059 - I tell her all the time, I have this need to-- 212 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,026 - Yeah, help everybody. 213 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,962 - --help, to heal. 214 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:19,199 It's a strong thing that's been in me since a little girl, 215 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:24,538 and it's completely exhausting me. 216 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:28,242 My level of compassion, the desire to help 217 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,944 has been there since a young age. 218 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,513 My dad was absent. 219 00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,715 He's present now, but I didn't know what that looked like. 220 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:35,949 - Right. 221 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,251 - So I looked at everything I didn't 222 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,986 like and did the opposite. 223 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,420 - Mm. 224 00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,122 - When you're growing up with a single parent 225 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,392 and you know that there's something missing, 226 00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,828 I just felt like my mom needed the help. 227 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:50,030 Somebody's got to be there. 228 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,199 But I can't tell you the amount of [bleep] 229 00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:56,103 I done been through trying to please people. 230 00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:59,139 When it comes to my relationship and my family, 231 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,275 the family that we are building, 232 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,510 - Building, mm-hmm. - I realized that I'll spend-- 233 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,712 I'll have a cape on throughout the whole day. 234 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,315 And I get back home, and I have nothing for my family. 235 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,950 - Mm. 236 00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:12,186 - I didn't realize how much it was-- it was-- it was-- 237 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,620 it was emptying me out. 238 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:14,755 I didn't know. 239 00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,290 - Ah. 240 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,059 I really love the fact that Bre-Z opened up with me. 241 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:23,597 This reveal of her needing to help everyone, and-- and heal 242 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,265 everyone, and carry everyone's burden, 243 00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:26,733 that's a lot of pressure. 244 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,869 Maybe it's not necessary, especially if it 245 00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,437 affects her relationship. 246 00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:33,173 You're a powerhouse, and I can see where it'd be 247 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,909 easy to succumb to your power. 248 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,244 - Mm-hmm. 249 00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:39,713 - It's easy to be the lesser communicator 250 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,882 because you've got so much of this power around you. 251 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:45,552 - But I relinquish it at times when I know she needs it. 252 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:48,188 - But, see, even still, that's-- that's your power 253 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,057 giving her permission. - Oh, well, yeah. 254 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,225 - You feel me? 255 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,392 - When you put it like that, yeah. 256 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,493 - Yeah. - It's still your power. 257 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,561 - Right. 258 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:55,529 - And I never try to-- 259 00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:56,830 I never look at it like that. 260 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,299 - Hmm. - Hmm. 261 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,168 - Because, honestly, you can't be afraid any longer 262 00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:03,237 to let me push you. 263 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,672 When I saw something, I said, I wonder 264 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,274 if this is an issue for you. 265 00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:08,575 - That's because I felt like you pried it out of me. 266 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:09,877 - Do you feel like it's something 267 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,044 she's never discussed with me? 268 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,212 - Well, I didn't know. 269 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:15,649 - That [bleep] almost set me off. 270 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,451 - Because now, hopefully, you know 271 00:10:17,518 --> 00:10:19,253 I'm only pushing you to your better, and it's from love. 272 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,187 - Mm-hmm. - You know what I mean? 273 00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:22,222 - Right, right. 274 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,824 - So now maybe you can walk in a spirit and an energy 275 00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:26,460 of not feeling like a target, but asking for the push. 276 00:10:26,527 --> 00:10:28,061 - Yeah. 277 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,031 [upbeat music] 278 00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:36,136 ♪♪ ♪♪ 279 00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:37,504 [alarm blaring] 280 00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:40,474 - Yo, you guys, what's going on? 281 00:10:40,541 --> 00:10:42,776 I don't know what to do right now. 282 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:46,747 It's like... 283 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,750 [upbeat music] 284 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:54,321 ♪♪ ♪♪ 285 00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:55,822 - It's a mayday situation. 286 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,124 - Yo, it's a mayday situation. 287 00:10:57,191 --> 00:10:58,458 - So I have to look good for it. 288 00:10:58,525 --> 00:10:59,893 - They actually sounded the [bleep] alarm 289 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:00,861 because everybody's running so late. 290 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:03,931 ♪♪ ♪♪ 291 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:04,998 - Where your hands going? 292 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,400 - My hands? Ooh. 293 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,035 - Blew it. She ruined it. 294 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,469 - No. 295 00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:10,637 - ♪♪ I'm gonna get my money ♪♪ 296 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,039 ♪♪ Let's go ♪♪ 297 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,540 ♪♪ I'm gonna hype this ting then roll ♪♪ 298 00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:16,410 ♪♪ We be the baddest, the baddest, for sho' ♪♪ 299 00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:20,113 - Let's go on another adventure! 300 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,748 [cheers and applause] 301 00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,150 - Yes. - Which way? 302 00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:24,718 Which way? - To the white bus. 303 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:27,154 - There's so much to drink. 304 00:11:27,221 --> 00:11:28,722 [cheers and applause] 305 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,224 - Hey! - What up? 306 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,558 What up? What up? 307 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:33,360 - Hey, y'all. 308 00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:35,395 - Y'all look like a Reese's cup. 309 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:36,230 - Aw. 310 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,264 - Isn't it so cute? 311 00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:39,533 You guys are like conjoined. 312 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,868 - A Reese's cup. 313 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,936 - Even though I saw the headline about Simon 314 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:46,106 this morning, I'm gonna enjoy my time with Jaylan, 315 00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,708 and we are gonna have fun, 316 00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:51,678 one thing that I did not do in my previous relationship. 317 00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:56,517 All right, y'all, it's shot o'clock! 318 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,818 - Yes! 319 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,086 [cheers and applause] 320 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,922 - Hey, hey, hey, shot o'clock. 321 00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,423 - All right, y'all, shots up. 322 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,292 - Let's go. - Couples retreat. 323 00:12:05,359 --> 00:12:08,896 [all shouting] 324 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,899 - All right, so who all had sex last night? 325 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,033 Raise your hand. 326 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,902 - Oh, that's good. 327 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,604 - I said after that exercise that it was gonna be you two. 328 00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:20,607 [funky music] 329 00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,910 ♪♪ ♪♪ 330 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,311 - Ooh! 331 00:12:24,378 --> 00:12:26,280 - Yes, we definitely got up in there. 332 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:30,017 The flame is lit in our relationship again, 333 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,985 and I think it was that paddle. 334 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,320 - Yeah, when you paddled me. 335 00:12:33,387 --> 00:12:34,688 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 336 00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:36,557 It was good to embrace the shower 337 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:39,359 and then take it to the bedroom and everywhere else 338 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:43,997 we ended up that night. 339 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,200 - What the [bleep] is this? 340 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,335 Like, what the [bleep] are we doing, bro? 341 00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:49,636 Where the hell are we? 342 00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:52,339 - What are these stones everywhere? 343 00:12:52,406 --> 00:12:55,776 And why is AJ and Tony looking at us like that? 344 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,978 I feel like they're gonna sacrifice us. 345 00:12:58,045 --> 00:13:01,181 - I need another bottle. 346 00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,050 - Coming up on "Couples Retreat..." 347 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,284 I am the king of the jungle. 348 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,285 You stay right there. 349 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,221 I'll go do the hunting. 350 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,388 - You idiot. 351 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,324 This is just like our love. 352 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,694 - Come on now. 353 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:18,065 - I am a shamanic practitioner psychic medium. 354 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,000 [growls] 355 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,969 [clicks tongue] 356 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,737 [drum thumping] 357 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:27,875 - I--I don't know. 358 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,780 [Mary J Blige's "Real Love"] 359 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:36,550 [upbeat music] 360 00:13:36,617 --> 00:13:38,819 - ♪♪ We party up ♪♪ 361 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,321 ♪♪ ♪♪ 362 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,689 ♪♪ We party up ♪♪ 363 00:13:42,756 --> 00:13:44,992 - What the [bleep] is this? 364 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:47,160 What the [bleep] are we doing, bro? 365 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,763 Look, I hope this doesn't spark another fear 366 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:52,633 because riding horses-- 367 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,767 Oh, [bleep]. 368 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,569 --jumping off high [bleep]-- 369 00:13:55,636 --> 00:13:56,670 No, I can't do it. 370 00:13:56,737 --> 00:13:57,838 I can't do it. 371 00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,239 --I can't take this no more. 372 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:00,741 I'm done. 373 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:04,478 I'm ready to go to the hotel and get my freak on, yeah. 374 00:14:04,545 --> 00:14:06,613 - Oh, mad [bleep] is out here, you guys. 375 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,781 - Ew, I see it. 376 00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:10,150 Ugh. - [bleep in various places. 377 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,585 - Oh, they everywhere, y'all. 378 00:14:11,652 --> 00:14:13,754 - Shamari, what you complaining about already? 379 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,422 What? - It's [bleep] everywhere. 380 00:14:15,489 --> 00:14:16,623 - [bleep]. 381 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:17,858 - Exactly, in your relationship, too. 382 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:18,859 Come on over. 383 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:21,461 [together] Oh! 384 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,496 - AJ, hold on. 385 00:14:22,563 --> 00:14:23,664 That was a great metaphor. 386 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:24,665 I love it. 387 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,733 Yo, I embrace it. 388 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,468 - I want you to say hi to-- well, we 389 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,636 call him the Black MacGyver. 390 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:30,904 This is Hakim. 391 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:31,939 - Hey, what's up? 392 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:32,906 How are you guys doing? 393 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,474 - What up? 394 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,276 - Hakim has a really interesting perspective 395 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,478 on healing in the wilderness. 396 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,348 And so we wanted to get you outside to learn a little bit 397 00:14:41,415 --> 00:14:44,418 about the elements inside you that 398 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,153 have to be on point before you can have 399 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,721 a successful relationship. 400 00:14:47,788 --> 00:14:50,891 - Before we had the nice houses and the fancy cars, like, 401 00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,659 everything was outdoors. 402 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,562 And outdoors, you can find all these different lessons 403 00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:58,198 that are gonna help you build and thrive. 404 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,400 So we're gonna work on that today. 405 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,403 When I was out naked in the wilderness living 406 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:06,640 on a mountain, one of the things that I figured out 407 00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:09,776 was that all those distractions really keep you from paying 408 00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:11,011 attention to what's important. 409 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:11,979 - Y'all don't hear this man? 410 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:13,280 What happened now? 411 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,282 My boy, hold up, hold up, hold up. 412 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,050 This dude, Hakim, sound like he on some 413 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:18,519 "Naked and Afraid" type [bleep], man. 414 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,821 - [laughs] 415 00:15:20,888 --> 00:15:22,122 - All right, so bring it in, guys. 416 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,457 We're gonna first start with fire. 417 00:15:23,524 --> 00:15:25,759 It takes three things to build a fire. 418 00:15:25,826 --> 00:15:26,894 First, you need heat. 419 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,762 Then, you need oxygen and fuel. 420 00:15:28,829 --> 00:15:31,231 So if you think about the heat, if you think about that 421 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,900 in your passion and in your relationship, 422 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,501 you started off very passionate. 423 00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:36,670 Then, you added a little oxygen. You started to grow. 424 00:15:36,737 --> 00:15:38,839 But now you're getting to a stage where you're like, well, 425 00:15:38,906 --> 00:15:40,541 we need more fuel. 426 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,442 We need to add to this in order to keep it growing. 427 00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,878 So, everybody, I want you to pick up this right here. 428 00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,346 You all have one match. 429 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,582 We're gonna do the ten-minute fire drill. 430 00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:51,151 And what's gonna happen is this is all you have. 431 00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:52,886 This is a Strike Anywhere match. 432 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,454 - This match look like a corn dog. 433 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,757 - [laughs] Go out and collect the materials 434 00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:57,925 we need to start a fire. 435 00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,426 We have ten minutes to do that. 436 00:15:59,493 --> 00:16:01,094 I'm gonna give you guys one minute 437 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,163 each to light your fire. 438 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,998 One match, that's all you get. 439 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,733 - One match. 440 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,502 - How the hell am I gonna light up this-- this pit? 441 00:16:08,569 --> 00:16:10,671 - I mean, I hate to sound spoiled, 442 00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,439 but can we get a lighter? 443 00:16:12,506 --> 00:16:13,807 - Go! 444 00:16:13,874 --> 00:16:15,609 - ♪♪ Won't stop ♪♪ 445 00:16:15,676 --> 00:16:18,912 ♪♪ Can't stop, won't stop ♪♪ 446 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:20,347 - Bre-Z is gone. 447 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:22,649 - She was shot out of a damn cannon. 448 00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:23,951 What is going on? 449 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,452 Where is she running to? 450 00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:26,720 - We're like, what is this, a competition? 451 00:16:26,787 --> 00:16:28,589 - Hey, baby, do not split up. 452 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,357 It's tigers in here. 453 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,893 - So get these smalls sticks, baby. 454 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:33,894 - Those aren't really-- 455 00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,429 I guess. 456 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,064 - Baby, they're easy to get-- like, catch fire. 457 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,365 - How do you know? 458 00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:39,900 - Baby. - Baby, you got it? 459 00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:40,901 You good? 460 00:16:40,968 --> 00:16:42,302 - Yep. 461 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,805 - I'm excited to-- to do this. 462 00:16:44,872 --> 00:16:47,207 I used to go camping all the time with Girl Scouts. 463 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,842 - I don't have a clue. 464 00:16:48,909 --> 00:16:50,477 I actually just enjoyed running and playing in the dirt. 465 00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:52,479 - Yeah, me, too. - So I think-- 466 00:16:52,546 --> 00:16:54,982 I'm like, stay out of my way, because I'm going for it. 467 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:56,049 - Yeah, you're going for it. 468 00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,718 - Five minutes left. 469 00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,887 - You got to get the stuff that's like hay. 470 00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:00,954 See this? 471 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,155 - Mm-hmm. 472 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,290 - I am the king of the jungle. 473 00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:04,291 You stay right there. 474 00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:06,126 I'll go do the hunting. 475 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,161 I'm the brains of the [bleep] operation anyway. 476 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,264 Being outside in the wilderness, 477 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,766 it really give me that vibe of Mufasa, 478 00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:14,067 and I'm the king of the jungle. 479 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,536 Rawr. 480 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:16,503 - Stop. 481 00:17:16,570 --> 00:17:17,838 - We know what we looking for. 482 00:17:17,905 --> 00:17:21,008 And they trying to figure it out. 483 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,876 - Trying to find more dry stuff. 484 00:17:22,943 --> 00:17:23,977 - This is all dry, babe. 485 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,512 - See the difference? 486 00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:26,680 - Yeah, thank you. 487 00:17:26,747 --> 00:17:27,848 - All right, you hold it. 488 00:17:27,915 --> 00:17:28,916 I step on it. 489 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,217 - Both of them? 490 00:17:30,284 --> 00:17:31,618 - He's listening to what I have to say, 491 00:17:31,685 --> 00:17:34,988 and he's not combative. 492 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:36,924 Yes, teamwork. 493 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:39,092 His guards are down, and we're working together as a team. 494 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,127 - Time's up. 495 00:17:40,194 --> 00:17:41,995 Back at your station. 496 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,630 - So here we go. 497 00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:46,066 One minute to start a fire with that one match. 498 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,668 So I'm gonna go with Joc first. 499 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,369 Light it. 500 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,038 - ♪♪ I'm on fire ♪♪ 501 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,406 ♪♪ Yeah, I'm on fire ♪♪ 502 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,908 ♪♪ And I'm hot, hot, I'm on fire ♪♪ 503 00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:55,943 - Get it lit. 504 00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:57,211 Get it lit. 505 00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,178 - Baby, this stick right here, baby. 506 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,179 Right here. 507 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,181 That one is good. 508 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,750 Oh, yeah, we got us a fire. 509 00:18:03,817 --> 00:18:06,320 I think it's very, very sexy that my husband 510 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,722 was able to light this fire. 511 00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:11,258 And because of that, I know that we 512 00:18:11,325 --> 00:18:12,993 are not gonna freeze out here. 513 00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:13,994 We lit. 514 00:18:14,061 --> 00:18:15,329 - Good job. 515 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:20,367 - It feels like a symbol of our new flame, 516 00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:23,170 you know, rekindling our fire. 517 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:27,040 - Feed it with the dry stuff, guys. 518 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,208 Did you light it? 519 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,710 - And time. - It's going out. 520 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,211 - Good try, good try. - You idiot. 521 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:32,312 - Moving down the line. - Hey, hey, hey. 522 00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:33,614 - This is just like our love. 523 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:39,553 - Words of affirmation, words of support. 524 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:43,123 I'm really disappointed that there's a slippage 525 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,892 back into the disrespect. 526 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,895 They've been connecting so much better in the retreat 527 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:51,532 that calling Jaylan an idiot, in front of people as well, 528 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,133 would not have been what happened. 529 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,868 And I saw the hurt on his face. 530 00:18:54,935 --> 00:18:57,471 I felt the hurt for him when she said it. 531 00:18:57,538 --> 00:18:58,972 We just got to keep working. 532 00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:00,908 - Yep, you doing that. 533 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,109 Keep it going. 534 00:19:02,176 --> 00:19:03,911 - Make sure that dry is getting lit. 535 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,245 - Yeah. 536 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,047 - Oh, man. 537 00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:08,115 - And time. 538 00:19:08,182 --> 00:19:09,550 Good try, good try. 539 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:10,617 Moving on. 540 00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:12,452 - The match broke. Look. 541 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,087 - Protect the match. - Adversity. 542 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,222 The match broke. 543 00:19:15,289 --> 00:19:18,825 - You get one match, guys. 544 00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:20,127 - Oh, yes. 545 00:19:20,194 --> 00:19:21,995 [upbeat music] 546 00:19:22,062 --> 00:19:25,098 - ♪♪ Show up, show up ♪♪ 547 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,967 ♪♪ We don't hold down ♪♪ 548 00:19:27,034 --> 00:19:27,901 - Ooh, look at it. 549 00:19:27,968 --> 00:19:29,002 Yes, babe, look. 550 00:19:29,069 --> 00:19:30,103 - Success, success. 551 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,939 [cheers and applause] 552 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:32,906 - Right there. 553 00:19:32,973 --> 00:19:33,941 - Yes. 554 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,375 - Right there. 555 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:39,479 - We ended up using that broke match lighting the fire. 556 00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,048 We come from a place of brokenness, 557 00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:44,518 and now all we had to do was put in the work to fix it. 558 00:19:44,585 --> 00:19:48,288 - That's what I'm talking about! 559 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,992 - Good job, good job. 560 00:19:52,059 --> 00:19:53,827 Good job, good job. 561 00:19:53,894 --> 00:19:55,195 - Nice. 562 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,964 - I didn't give two [bleep] about this [bleep] 563 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,332 exercise, [bleep]. 564 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,501 - Falynn and Jaylan, what happened? 565 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,002 - He's a little upset. 566 00:20:02,069 --> 00:20:03,437 - Why are you upset? 567 00:20:03,504 --> 00:20:05,839 You don't know why you're upset? 568 00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:08,942 I saw your response, and I saw your disappointment 569 00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:13,180 in yourself when Falynn called you an idiot. 570 00:20:13,247 --> 00:20:14,648 - Oh, I was just kidding. 571 00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:16,183 - I know you are. 572 00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:17,084 - That's something to work on, Falynn. 573 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:18,585 Words have power. 574 00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:20,888 50% of every joke has truth to it. 575 00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:23,924 So a part of you feels that. 576 00:20:23,991 --> 00:20:28,629 - No, not at all, no, no, no. 577 00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,230 - Coming up on "Couples Retreat..." 578 00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:32,199 - How's everybody feeling about this project? 579 00:20:32,266 --> 00:20:33,567 - She don't like it. 580 00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:34,635 - What do you not like about it? 581 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,036 - She wanted an arch breezeway. 582 00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:38,105 - Chris? 583 00:20:38,172 --> 00:20:39,072 - I feel like I failed. 584 00:20:39,139 --> 00:20:40,707 It's just-- 585 00:20:40,774 --> 00:20:42,476 - Falynn, I think you ought to be careful with that. 586 00:20:42,543 --> 00:20:43,777 - It hurts me the most. 587 00:20:49,116 --> 00:20:53,220 - I know if I don't work on myself and get past the pain, 588 00:20:53,287 --> 00:20:55,656 Jaylan is not going to want to get married. 589 00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,659 [dramatic music] 590 00:20:58,725 --> 00:20:59,927 ♪♪ ♪♪ 591 00:21:04,131 --> 00:21:05,866 [Mary J Blige's "Real Love"] 592 00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:08,836 [upbeat music] 593 00:21:08,902 --> 00:21:11,839 - Falynn and Jaylan, I saw your response, 594 00:21:11,905 --> 00:21:14,775 and I saw your disappointment in yourself when 595 00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:15,943 Falynn called you an idiot. 596 00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:17,644 - Oh, I was just kidding. 597 00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:20,147 - 50% of every joke has truth to it. 598 00:21:20,214 --> 00:21:21,682 So a part of you feels that-- 599 00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:22,783 - No. 600 00:21:22,850 --> 00:21:23,884 - --for you be able to say it. 601 00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:25,552 - Not all, no, no. 602 00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:27,454 I think he's the smartest person I've ever met. 603 00:21:27,521 --> 00:21:29,122 - Well, you should say that instead of saying "idiot." 604 00:21:29,189 --> 00:21:31,625 - Yeah. - Because words have an anchor. 605 00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:34,361 [gentle music] 606 00:21:34,428 --> 00:21:36,230 - I think they're having a moment right now. 607 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:37,865 ♪♪ ♪♪ 608 00:21:37,931 --> 00:21:42,503 - I feel absolutely horrible about making 609 00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:46,640 Jaylan feel the way that I did when I called him an idiot. 610 00:21:46,707 --> 00:21:50,010 I have been hiding from the world 611 00:21:50,077 --> 00:21:54,381 and myself my struggles with my ex-husband. 612 00:21:54,448 --> 00:21:57,518 And I'm sitting here trying to regulate all of these emotions 613 00:21:57,584 --> 00:22:01,822 throughout the days, but Jaylan should have never gotten 614 00:22:01,889 --> 00:22:03,824 the brunt of my emotions. 615 00:22:03,891 --> 00:22:05,692 You want a minute? 616 00:22:05,759 --> 00:22:07,861 - What are you guys-- what are you guys talking about? 617 00:22:07,928 --> 00:22:10,130 What are you feeling right now? 618 00:22:10,197 --> 00:22:11,298 - I feel like I failed. 619 00:22:11,365 --> 00:22:13,033 It's just-- 620 00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:15,269 - I've been you before, Jaylan. 621 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:18,172 Falynn, where you're kidding with him, this man, 622 00:22:18,238 --> 00:22:19,873 he's the youngest person here. 623 00:22:19,940 --> 00:22:21,475 - So everybody else, all they heard is idiot. 624 00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:22,910 - I think you ought to be careful with that-- 625 00:22:22,976 --> 00:22:24,511 - Yeah. 626 00:22:24,578 --> 00:22:26,413 - --from a bro to a sis, because when I heard it, 627 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,549 I was just like, oh, Falynn, don't do my boy like that. 628 00:22:28,615 --> 00:22:30,817 Even though I felt like you was just talking [bleep], 629 00:22:30,884 --> 00:22:31,885 but he internalizing it. 630 00:22:31,952 --> 00:22:32,986 And it's clear right now. 631 00:22:33,053 --> 00:22:36,723 You know what I'm saying? 632 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:40,093 - And it just me realizing that I didn't have a father to show 633 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,095 me how to do this [bleep]. 634 00:22:42,162 --> 00:22:44,898 It hurts me the most. 635 00:22:44,965 --> 00:22:48,902 - Can we give you a hug, brother, just as men? 636 00:22:48,969 --> 00:22:50,404 Ronnie, you'll help me out? 637 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:54,274 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sho', man. 638 00:22:54,341 --> 00:22:56,543 ♪♪ ♪♪ 639 00:22:56,610 --> 00:23:00,414 - I need some time, y'all. 640 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,549 - I'll be all right. 641 00:23:02,616 --> 00:23:06,386 ♪♪ ♪♪ 642 00:23:06,453 --> 00:23:08,155 I can't control my emotions. 643 00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:09,590 This is me. 644 00:23:09,656 --> 00:23:12,993 This is legit, Jaylan, like, the person 645 00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:15,963 that I hide from everybody that just 646 00:23:16,029 --> 00:23:18,966 sees a smile on my face 24/7. 647 00:23:19,032 --> 00:23:23,504 I'm actually trying to use this 648 00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:25,639 as a growth experience, 649 00:23:25,706 --> 00:23:27,808 but I know now that Falynn 650 00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:29,843 does need to be more respectful. 651 00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:31,411 It's not about failing. 652 00:23:31,478 --> 00:23:34,681 Failing, yeah, OK, I'm upset that I didn't do what I-- 653 00:23:34,748 --> 00:23:36,817 I didn't accomplish what the mission was, 654 00:23:36,884 --> 00:23:42,456 but it just made me realize I didn't have my dad to show 655 00:23:42,523 --> 00:23:43,991 me how to do that stuff. 656 00:23:44,057 --> 00:23:47,261 So me, I'm just going based off what I think 657 00:23:47,327 --> 00:23:51,064 might be what I need to start that fire. 658 00:23:51,131 --> 00:23:55,002 And again, I failed. 659 00:23:55,068 --> 00:23:59,406 - Just be careful and remember in these tender 660 00:23:59,473 --> 00:24:03,110 times of healing and learning who he is 661 00:24:03,177 --> 00:24:05,612 and learning how to love himself 662 00:24:05,679 --> 00:24:10,851 despite the father situation, your words are so powerful. 663 00:24:10,918 --> 00:24:12,152 - Right. 664 00:24:12,219 --> 00:24:13,554 And then that's another thing, right? 665 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,155 I was just kidding. - I know you were. 666 00:24:15,222 --> 00:24:16,390 - I didn't think I was-- - I know you were. 667 00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:17,491 - --hurting him. - I know you were. 668 00:24:17,558 --> 00:24:18,959 I know you were. 669 00:24:19,026 --> 00:24:20,661 - You did amazing. 670 00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:24,131 You did amazing with that, and you're doing amazing in life. 671 00:24:24,198 --> 00:24:26,300 Don't beat yourself up. 672 00:24:26,366 --> 00:24:31,972 You way further than I was at 23. 673 00:24:32,039 --> 00:24:35,976 So every step, it's a victory. 674 00:24:36,043 --> 00:24:37,377 - But remember, he's gotta-- 675 00:24:37,444 --> 00:24:39,646 he's gotta heal, and he's learning, right? 676 00:24:39,713 --> 00:24:41,048 - Yeah. 677 00:24:41,114 --> 00:24:43,016 - So-- so because you don't know what hurts, 678 00:24:43,083 --> 00:24:44,384 keep it positive. 679 00:24:44,451 --> 00:24:46,053 Keep it positive. Keep it fueled. 680 00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:47,187 Keep it love. - Right. 681 00:24:47,254 --> 00:24:48,355 - You know what I mean? 682 00:24:48,422 --> 00:24:51,658 Because you're not gonna know. 683 00:24:51,725 --> 00:24:56,763 - I have to be honest, at this point, 684 00:24:56,830 --> 00:24:59,733 I really thought that Jaylan and I would be married by now. 685 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,135 I know if I don't work on myself 686 00:25:02,202 --> 00:25:06,240 and get past the pain from Simon, 687 00:25:06,306 --> 00:25:08,442 Jaylan is not gonna want to get married. 688 00:25:08,509 --> 00:25:10,544 - ♪♪ Where would be today ♪♪ 689 00:25:10,611 --> 00:25:15,849 ♪♪ If I hadn't asked for more? ♪♪ 690 00:25:15,916 --> 00:25:19,887 - Being with Falynn, I already have this image of little boy. 691 00:25:19,953 --> 00:25:24,258 And I'm trying to show myself that I am a man. 692 00:25:24,324 --> 00:25:28,662 And for Falynn to talk to me in that manner, it's-- 693 00:25:28,729 --> 00:25:31,832 it just doesn't-- it doesn't fly with me. 694 00:25:31,899 --> 00:25:35,035 So even though we are engaged, there's some things 695 00:25:35,102 --> 00:25:36,436 that I need to think about. 696 00:25:36,503 --> 00:25:37,938 I don't want to sign a piece of paper 697 00:25:38,005 --> 00:25:42,075 and sign my whole life away if it's not gonna last. 698 00:25:42,142 --> 00:25:46,046 ♪♪ ♪♪ 699 00:25:46,113 --> 00:25:49,016 - Coming up on "Couples Retreat..." 700 00:25:49,082 --> 00:25:50,350 - All right, teamwork. 701 00:25:50,417 --> 00:25:52,085 - I just love watching your excitement. 702 00:25:52,152 --> 00:25:53,787 It's turning me on, baby. 703 00:25:53,854 --> 00:25:56,924 Hurry up and make this tepee so we can hide in it. 704 00:25:56,990 --> 00:25:58,158 - See how it's going this way, Bre-Z? 705 00:25:58,225 --> 00:25:59,126 - Like that. - Turn it around. 706 00:25:59,193 --> 00:26:00,561 It will be a wall. 707 00:26:00,627 --> 00:26:01,728 - So that's what I wanted to do initially, 708 00:26:01,795 --> 00:26:03,063 but I tried her way. 709 00:26:03,130 --> 00:26:06,333 [dramatic music] 710 00:26:10,204 --> 00:26:11,939 [Mary J Blige's "Real Love"] 711 00:26:12,005 --> 00:26:15,375 [upbeat funky music] 712 00:26:15,442 --> 00:26:17,311 - All right, so did we all have good breakthroughs 713 00:26:17,377 --> 00:26:18,612 with that particular drill and skill? 714 00:26:18,679 --> 00:26:20,314 - Yes, yes. 715 00:26:20,380 --> 00:26:21,415 - Raise your hand if you felt you had a breakthrough. 716 00:26:21,481 --> 00:26:23,116 - Yes, yes, yes. 717 00:26:23,183 --> 00:26:24,885 - I'm really surprised that so many people are thriving 718 00:26:24,952 --> 00:26:26,854 in this make-fire exercise. 719 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,856 Now, not everybody's good at it, 720 00:26:28,922 --> 00:26:30,624 but I love the support they're giving 721 00:26:30,691 --> 00:26:34,061 each other in couples as well as in the new friendships. 722 00:26:34,127 --> 00:26:35,829 I like this. This is good. 723 00:26:35,896 --> 00:26:37,164 - So now what we're gonna be doing is 724 00:26:37,231 --> 00:26:39,533 we're gonna be moving into shelter. 725 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,801 So what's more important? 726 00:26:40,868 --> 00:26:41,768 Is if fire or shelter? 727 00:26:41,835 --> 00:26:43,270 Somebody tell me that. 728 00:26:43,337 --> 00:26:45,172 - Fire. 729 00:26:45,239 --> 00:26:48,509 - All right, so-- so here's the deal. 730 00:26:48,575 --> 00:26:50,611 Man lived for hundreds of thousands of years 731 00:26:50,677 --> 00:26:52,346 without fire. 732 00:26:52,412 --> 00:26:57,384 You can last only about three hours of exposure to the sun, 733 00:26:57,451 --> 00:27:00,420 to the cold if you don't have a shelter. 734 00:27:00,487 --> 00:27:02,756 When you talk about building a relationship, 735 00:27:02,823 --> 00:27:04,324 you're talking about coming together 736 00:27:04,391 --> 00:27:07,427 to build a home for you and your significant other. 737 00:27:07,494 --> 00:27:08,829 How do we do that together? 738 00:27:08,896 --> 00:27:10,330 And that's what this next drill is about. 739 00:27:10,397 --> 00:27:13,233 We're gonna be building shelters. 740 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:14,835 You got some sticks in front of you. 741 00:27:14,902 --> 00:27:16,270 Then you have a tarp. 742 00:27:16,336 --> 00:27:17,938 And once you get it to a nice little enclosure, 743 00:27:18,005 --> 00:27:19,406 you can put the tarp on it to make 744 00:27:19,473 --> 00:27:20,941 sure that it's waterproof. 745 00:27:21,008 --> 00:27:23,110 15 minutes to build the best shelter you can 746 00:27:23,177 --> 00:27:24,077 that can stand up and won't fall over you. 747 00:27:24,144 --> 00:27:25,512 - Go! - Let's go! 748 00:27:25,579 --> 00:27:26,680 Let's go! 749 00:27:26,747 --> 00:27:27,614 - All right, let's go, baby. 750 00:27:27,681 --> 00:27:32,386 - 1, 2, 3. 751 00:27:32,452 --> 00:27:35,822 - All right, teamwork. 752 00:27:35,889 --> 00:27:37,558 - I just love watching your excitement. 753 00:27:37,624 --> 00:27:39,326 It's turning me on, baby. 754 00:27:39,393 --> 00:27:42,930 Hurry up and make this tepee so we can hide in it. 755 00:27:42,996 --> 00:27:45,299 Start at the tip and just wrap it around. 756 00:27:45,365 --> 00:27:48,168 Remember, like, how they bond-- bondaged us. 757 00:27:48,235 --> 00:27:49,937 - [chuckles] 758 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,371 - We got this. 759 00:27:51,438 --> 00:27:53,974 We got this, baby. 760 00:27:54,041 --> 00:27:56,877 - Hey, you're doing a great job back there, Shamizzle. 761 00:27:56,944 --> 00:27:58,846 - Everybody's looking good. Let's go. 762 00:27:58,912 --> 00:27:59,813 - Pull it that way. 763 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:00,981 Keep pulling. 764 00:28:01,048 --> 00:28:02,616 - Good job, baby. 765 00:28:02,683 --> 00:28:04,284 - Look at this mansion. 766 00:28:04,351 --> 00:28:05,285 - Yeah. 767 00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:06,119 - My man. 768 00:28:06,186 --> 00:28:07,454 - Go big or go home. 769 00:28:07,521 --> 00:28:08,789 - That's enough room for a family. 770 00:28:08,856 --> 00:28:10,657 - Right. Eight kids, right? 771 00:28:10,724 --> 00:28:12,125 - Well, there you go. 772 00:28:12,192 --> 00:28:13,994 - There's looks like "The Blair Witch Project." 773 00:28:14,061 --> 00:28:16,496 - Seven minutes, guys. 774 00:28:16,563 --> 00:28:18,699 - Baby, I got a couch. 775 00:28:18,765 --> 00:28:19,867 - Turn this way. 776 00:28:19,933 --> 00:28:20,868 - Where you want it? 777 00:28:20,934 --> 00:28:21,835 - Turn it around. 778 00:28:21,902 --> 00:28:24,171 We gonna go here. 779 00:28:24,238 --> 00:28:26,673 - See how it's going this way, Bre-Z? 780 00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:28,375 - Oh, like, coming like that? 781 00:28:28,442 --> 00:28:29,943 - Turn it around and more like this. 782 00:28:30,010 --> 00:28:31,144 So it will be your wall. 783 00:28:31,211 --> 00:28:32,880 - That's what I wanted to do initially, 784 00:28:32,946 --> 00:28:34,681 but I tried her way to see what she's saying. 785 00:28:34,748 --> 00:28:38,619 Chris watches HGTV all day. 786 00:28:38,685 --> 00:28:40,053 This was her task. 787 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,056 - I love home improvements. 788 00:28:43,123 --> 00:28:45,726 I just want to make sure our structure is good, 789 00:28:45,792 --> 00:28:46,994 the foundation. 790 00:28:47,060 --> 00:28:48,395 - You need good bones. 791 00:28:48,462 --> 00:28:50,531 - Yeah, bones, that's a good word. 792 00:28:50,597 --> 00:28:53,066 - Four minutes, guys. 793 00:28:53,133 --> 00:28:55,135 - Man, our opening is kind of wide. 794 00:28:55,202 --> 00:28:56,703 - We got our [bleep] spacious. 795 00:28:56,770 --> 00:28:57,938 - Sherien? 796 00:28:58,005 --> 00:28:58,906 - Yeah, how can I help you, sir? 797 00:28:58,972 --> 00:29:00,507 - I guess sometimes-- 798 00:29:00,574 --> 00:29:02,409 - You're supposed to knock before you come in. 799 00:29:02,476 --> 00:29:05,646 - --I guess sometimes Apollo's assertiveness pays off. 800 00:29:05,712 --> 00:29:06,647 - Yeah, it does. 801 00:29:06,713 --> 00:29:08,215 This pays off. 802 00:29:08,282 --> 00:29:09,650 - Well, look, where's the front? 803 00:29:09,716 --> 00:29:12,753 How are we-- 804 00:29:12,819 --> 00:29:14,154 - This is our front. 805 00:29:14,221 --> 00:29:15,255 We just got to make it tight, man. 806 00:29:15,322 --> 00:29:16,623 - OK. 807 00:29:16,690 --> 00:29:18,225 - Let's take a nap while everybody's still working. 808 00:29:18,292 --> 00:29:22,029 This is literally like us at our best, you know? 809 00:29:22,095 --> 00:29:24,264 He's listening to even what I have to say 810 00:29:24,331 --> 00:29:25,699 and the questions that I have, 811 00:29:25,766 --> 00:29:27,434 and we're working together as a team. 812 00:29:27,501 --> 00:29:29,169 Although he has taken the lead on this one 813 00:29:29,236 --> 00:29:31,605 because he's more experienced, the communication 814 00:29:31,672 --> 00:29:32,840 made a huge difference. 815 00:29:32,906 --> 00:29:34,641 He's making a change. 816 00:29:34,708 --> 00:29:35,642 And I'm happy. 817 00:29:35,709 --> 00:29:37,177 - Time! 818 00:29:37,244 --> 00:29:39,413 - Hey, look at all this shelter we got. 819 00:29:39,479 --> 00:29:40,714 [laughs] 820 00:29:40,781 --> 00:29:42,749 - How's everybody feeling about this project? 821 00:29:42,816 --> 00:29:44,117 - She don't like it. 822 00:29:44,184 --> 00:29:45,052 - What do you not like about it? 823 00:29:45,118 --> 00:29:47,855 - The decoration. 824 00:29:47,921 --> 00:29:49,690 She wanted an arch breezeway. 825 00:29:49,756 --> 00:29:51,158 - Chris? 826 00:29:51,225 --> 00:29:53,594 - No, it's just that I thought maybe 827 00:29:53,660 --> 00:29:57,431 our tarp was positioned the wrong way. 828 00:29:57,497 --> 00:29:58,799 - The tarp's not the cover you want? 829 00:29:58,866 --> 00:30:00,634 - Yes. 830 00:30:00,701 --> 00:30:02,102 - She do the same thing with the comforter on the bed. 831 00:30:02,169 --> 00:30:03,370 - She did it the long way one day. 832 00:30:03,437 --> 00:30:05,038 I said, no, no, no, it needs to be 833 00:30:05,105 --> 00:30:06,673 this way because she pulls all the covers 834 00:30:06,740 --> 00:30:08,408 by the end of the night. 835 00:30:08,475 --> 00:30:11,044 - I'm really proud of Bre-Z for giving Chris a chance 836 00:30:11,111 --> 00:30:12,613 to step forward and have a voice. 837 00:30:12,679 --> 00:30:16,083 It doesn't matter that Chris' instructions were wrong. 838 00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:20,087 What matters is that Bre-Z let Chris have a voice. 839 00:30:20,153 --> 00:30:24,291 That's where the new and improved relationship lives. 840 00:30:24,358 --> 00:30:27,127 - All right, so let me tell you guys how proud I am of you. 841 00:30:27,194 --> 00:30:29,229 This is not something that everybody can do. 842 00:30:29,296 --> 00:30:32,165 The process of starting a fire and going out into the bush 843 00:30:32,232 --> 00:30:35,102 and grabbing stuff is really challenging for people. 844 00:30:35,169 --> 00:30:38,472 These exercises brought out a lot in you today, 845 00:30:38,539 --> 00:30:41,942 but it doesn't matter if you don't hold on to them. 846 00:30:42,009 --> 00:30:44,411 - After learning a lot from this exercise, 847 00:30:44,478 --> 00:30:48,248 I'm gonna choose to keep elevating Jaylan as a man 848 00:30:48,315 --> 00:30:51,118 and as he continues to grow. 849 00:30:51,185 --> 00:30:54,254 So I'm gonna do better with thinking before I speak. 850 00:30:54,321 --> 00:30:56,790 - On those times where things get a little bit difficult, 851 00:30:56,857 --> 00:30:59,593 start thinking about how we were able to piece things 852 00:30:59,660 --> 00:31:02,029 together with nothing, how we were able to make 853 00:31:02,095 --> 00:31:03,030 it work, right? 854 00:31:03,096 --> 00:31:04,598 - Yes. 855 00:31:04,665 --> 00:31:05,899 - And that's what I'd like to leave you guys with. 856 00:31:05,966 --> 00:31:07,434 - Thank you. [applause] 857 00:31:07,501 --> 00:31:08,802 - You're amazing. 858 00:31:08,869 --> 00:31:10,137 - ♪♪ Let me tell you something ♪♪ 859 00:31:10,204 --> 00:31:12,206 ♪♪ Let me tell you something ♪♪ 860 00:31:12,272 --> 00:31:13,974 ♪♪ Let me tell you something ♪♪ 861 00:31:14,041 --> 00:31:15,609 ♪♪ You're everything to me ♪♪ 862 00:31:15,676 --> 00:31:19,780 ♪♪ And you don't owe me nothing ♪♪ 863 00:31:19,847 --> 00:31:21,014 - I cracked my toes. 864 00:31:21,081 --> 00:31:22,449 - And they still cold? 865 00:31:22,516 --> 00:31:23,817 - Not even knowing that I would crack them. 866 00:31:23,884 --> 00:31:26,386 [laughs] 867 00:31:29,656 --> 00:31:32,059 - I actually felt good because I feel 868 00:31:32,125 --> 00:31:33,594 like I'm getting somewhere. 869 00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:36,864 I feel like I'm finding my voice that you know I've 870 00:31:36,930 --> 00:31:38,699 always, like, struggled with. 871 00:31:38,765 --> 00:31:42,503 - You've just got to get in the habit of speaking your mind. 872 00:31:42,569 --> 00:31:44,671 - If I say the wrong thing, I don't 873 00:31:44,738 --> 00:31:46,306 want it to come out hurtful. 874 00:31:46,373 --> 00:31:48,141 - You can't control people, but if they gonna feel a way, 875 00:31:48,208 --> 00:31:50,043 they gonna feel a way. - See, and that's the thing. 876 00:31:50,110 --> 00:31:51,078 I care too much. 877 00:31:51,144 --> 00:31:52,946 - I care a lot, too. 878 00:31:53,013 --> 00:31:55,249 I think that Chris should be speaking up 879 00:31:55,315 --> 00:31:57,651 for herself regardless, whether I'm there or not. 880 00:31:57,718 --> 00:32:00,854 It's a part of setting boundary and loving yourself. 881 00:32:00,921 --> 00:32:04,758 But I naturally look to protect and provide. 882 00:32:04,825 --> 00:32:09,363 It's kind of hard to change how you've always been. 883 00:32:09,429 --> 00:32:14,034 There is a strong fulfillment in making people feel good 884 00:32:14,101 --> 00:32:16,436 and making people happy or seeing smiles on they face. 885 00:32:16,503 --> 00:32:19,239 So I think by nature, that's just-- 886 00:32:19,306 --> 00:32:20,641 that's-- that's who I've been. 887 00:32:20,707 --> 00:32:22,609 I don't think that's gonna change. 888 00:32:22,676 --> 00:32:24,044 I got you something. 889 00:32:24,111 --> 00:32:25,579 - What you got? - I got you something. 890 00:32:25,646 --> 00:32:26,813 You gotta close your eyes. I got you something. 891 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,081 - You did not get me something. 892 00:32:28,148 --> 00:32:29,016 - I did get you something. 893 00:32:29,082 --> 00:32:30,484 Close your eyes. 894 00:32:30,551 --> 00:32:35,222 Coming into this retreat, I knew that it was gonna 895 00:32:35,289 --> 00:32:37,424 be a challenge for Chris. 896 00:32:37,491 --> 00:32:40,527 So to see her, you know, push through and kind of, 897 00:32:40,594 --> 00:32:44,364 like, you know, put some air in her chest was, 898 00:32:44,431 --> 00:32:46,200 like, a proud moment for me. 899 00:32:46,266 --> 00:32:47,167 - I'm nervous. 900 00:32:47,234 --> 00:32:48,135 - You should be. 901 00:32:48,202 --> 00:32:49,503 - [laughs] 902 00:32:49,570 --> 00:32:52,639 - OK, open them. 903 00:32:52,706 --> 00:32:53,674 - Aw. 904 00:32:53,740 --> 00:32:54,942 Really? 905 00:32:55,008 --> 00:32:56,643 Thanks, baby. 906 00:32:56,710 --> 00:33:00,180 - A little appreciation gift, because you're doing great. 907 00:33:00,247 --> 00:33:01,215 You're doing so good. 908 00:33:01,281 --> 00:33:02,482 - Thank you. 909 00:33:02,549 --> 00:33:04,918 - I hope you know that. - Thank you. 910 00:33:04,985 --> 00:33:05,986 - [indistinct]. 911 00:33:06,053 --> 00:33:07,654 - Yeah, I love you. 912 00:33:07,721 --> 00:33:09,223 - Thank you. 913 00:33:09,289 --> 00:33:12,259 I love you. 914 00:33:12,326 --> 00:33:13,727 - Coming up on "Couples Retreat..." 915 00:33:13,794 --> 00:33:15,696 - Just my interactions with people, 916 00:33:15,762 --> 00:33:18,165 it's like automatically unknowingly 917 00:33:18,232 --> 00:33:19,633 carrying their burdens. 918 00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:22,569 - It's because you're a natural healer. 919 00:33:22,636 --> 00:33:23,570 It's heavy. 920 00:33:23,637 --> 00:33:25,239 - Mm-hmm. 921 00:33:25,305 --> 00:33:29,142 - Your ancestors are calling you in a big way. 922 00:33:29,209 --> 00:33:32,145 [dramatic music] 923 00:33:36,083 --> 00:33:37,818 [Mary J Blige's "Real Love"] 924 00:33:37,885 --> 00:33:41,054 [funky music] 925 00:33:41,121 --> 00:33:43,790 - After Falynn called me an idiot, like, 926 00:33:43,857 --> 00:33:47,060 I feel like as if we go back home that it's 927 00:33:47,127 --> 00:33:49,129 gonna be the same pattern. 928 00:33:49,196 --> 00:33:51,498 Like, I feel like nothing's gonna change at all. 929 00:33:51,565 --> 00:33:53,734 I can't even think about getting married right now. 930 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,703 [dramatic music] 931 00:33:56,770 --> 00:34:03,977 ♪♪ ♪♪ 932 00:34:08,348 --> 00:34:10,851 - So gorgeous. 933 00:34:10,918 --> 00:34:14,321 - Hello, hello, hello. 934 00:34:14,388 --> 00:34:16,523 - This is so beautiful. 935 00:34:16,590 --> 00:34:17,858 - Find a spot. 936 00:34:17,925 --> 00:34:18,926 - Oh, we have to sit right here? 937 00:34:18,992 --> 00:34:21,428 - I'm gonna take my shoes off. 938 00:34:21,495 --> 00:34:22,896 - What's going on here? 939 00:34:22,963 --> 00:34:24,731 - I don't know, but I'm really feeling it. 940 00:34:24,798 --> 00:34:26,099 It's just calming, and it's soothing. 941 00:34:26,166 --> 00:34:27,134 - Yes. 942 00:34:27,201 --> 00:34:28,902 - And I'm ready. 943 00:34:28,969 --> 00:34:31,972 - When we started this retreat, we talked about vows 944 00:34:32,039 --> 00:34:35,576 that may be broken. 945 00:34:35,642 --> 00:34:38,879 So now we work on ones that we can move forward with. 946 00:34:38,946 --> 00:34:40,848 And that's what we sit down tomorrow to do. 947 00:34:40,914 --> 00:34:43,884 So in this healing session, the whole point 948 00:34:43,951 --> 00:34:48,856 is to introduce new tactics and tools and ways 949 00:34:48,922 --> 00:34:50,591 to just ground yourself. 950 00:34:50,657 --> 00:34:53,393 I just want you to be open to the possibility 951 00:34:53,460 --> 00:34:56,964 that there's so much that you can embrace healing from. 952 00:34:57,030 --> 00:34:58,899 So that's what tonight is about. 953 00:34:58,966 --> 00:35:01,068 Can you believe enough in the healing 954 00:35:01,134 --> 00:35:03,303 and not focus on the trauma? 955 00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:07,241 I'm completely open to explore whatever healing 956 00:35:07,307 --> 00:35:09,142 is going to penetrate someone. 957 00:35:09,209 --> 00:35:12,012 I want to introduce you to Jen Heartfire, 958 00:35:12,079 --> 00:35:18,252 who is a brilliantly talented healer, energy-shifter. 959 00:35:18,318 --> 00:35:20,687 These couples have issues and trauma 960 00:35:20,754 --> 00:35:24,224 that I feel go so far back, I felt like it would be 961 00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:26,560 a great idea to have Jen, a shamanic healer, 962 00:35:26,627 --> 00:35:30,964 do an exercise with us so that we could see if we open 963 00:35:31,031 --> 00:35:33,934 ourselves up, could the issue be healed by going 964 00:35:34,001 --> 00:35:36,803 back into our ancestral space? 965 00:35:36,870 --> 00:35:37,871 We'll see. 966 00:35:37,938 --> 00:35:38,906 - Hi, everybody. 967 00:35:38,972 --> 00:35:40,474 [together] Hello. 968 00:35:40,541 --> 00:35:42,876 - It's an honor to be here with you today. 969 00:35:42,943 --> 00:35:47,080 I am a shamanic practitioner, a psychic medium. 970 00:35:52,286 --> 00:35:55,189 What a shaman is, is somebody who 971 00:35:55,255 --> 00:35:59,993 walks in between the worlds. 972 00:36:00,060 --> 00:36:03,430 - What the hell does she mean, walking through worlds? 973 00:36:03,497 --> 00:36:05,332 Like, is we getting on a spaceship? 974 00:36:05,399 --> 00:36:08,335 What in "The Fifth Element" is going on here? 975 00:36:08,402 --> 00:36:10,737 - So we're gonna call in our ancestors 976 00:36:10,804 --> 00:36:13,907 to assist us in this process. 977 00:36:13,974 --> 00:36:16,009 [drum thumping] 978 00:36:16,076 --> 00:36:21,014 Winds of the south, great serpent, sacho mama, 979 00:36:21,081 --> 00:36:23,016 wrap your coils of light around us. 980 00:36:23,083 --> 00:36:26,820 Help us to shed our skins the way you shed yours. 981 00:36:26,887 --> 00:36:28,722 Otorongo, jaguar. 982 00:36:28,789 --> 00:36:31,191 [growls] 983 00:36:31,258 --> 00:36:34,761 Help us to shred through what no longer serves. 984 00:36:34,828 --> 00:36:36,897 Help us to let go of the shame, blame, 985 00:36:36,964 --> 00:36:42,336 trauma, drama, guilt, fear, or any other lower vibration. 986 00:36:42,402 --> 00:36:44,037 Winds of the north, Siwar Q'enti, 987 00:36:44,104 --> 00:36:47,174 royal hummingbird... [clicks tongue] 988 00:36:47,241 --> 00:36:52,913 We invite our ancestors, our angels. 989 00:36:52,980 --> 00:36:54,982 We are so honored. 990 00:36:55,048 --> 00:36:57,251 Thank you for joining us here today. 991 00:36:57,317 --> 00:36:58,952 Aho. 992 00:36:59,019 --> 00:37:01,989 - Oh, is this Hypnotherapy 2.0? 993 00:37:02,055 --> 00:37:04,925 [drum thumping] 994 00:37:04,992 --> 00:37:08,128 I don't know. I don't know. 995 00:37:08,195 --> 00:37:11,698 [dramatic music] 996 00:37:15,802 --> 00:37:17,538 [Mary J Blige's "Real Love"] 997 00:37:17,604 --> 00:37:20,507 [tense music] 998 00:37:20,574 --> 00:37:22,910 ♪♪ ♪♪ 999 00:37:22,976 --> 00:37:25,546 - Our intention today is to move forward 1000 00:37:25,612 --> 00:37:28,615 in all areas of our life so that we 1001 00:37:28,682 --> 00:37:32,252 can choose to end suffering for myself 1002 00:37:32,319 --> 00:37:34,621 and for others around me. 1003 00:37:34,688 --> 00:37:39,059 - I choose to end my suffering, wow. 1004 00:37:39,126 --> 00:37:42,162 - If we're tired all the time, if our thoughts 1005 00:37:42,229 --> 00:37:44,865 are going negative, if we're picking up 1006 00:37:44,932 --> 00:37:48,235 an addiction like a cigarette, or alcohol, 1007 00:37:48,302 --> 00:37:51,672 or whatever it is to numb the pain or the stress level, 1008 00:37:51,738 --> 00:37:55,809 if we're snapping at people, if we're running away 1009 00:37:55,876 --> 00:37:57,911 in some way, shape, or form, 1010 00:37:57,978 --> 00:38:00,614 that's when we're not addressing 1011 00:38:00,681 --> 00:38:02,349 whatever it is deep down. 1012 00:38:02,416 --> 00:38:03,951 - Whew. 1013 00:38:04,017 --> 00:38:08,088 It is something that needs to be heard right in this moment. 1014 00:38:08,155 --> 00:38:10,624 - Can we take a second and just say 1015 00:38:10,691 --> 00:38:14,661 a portal that you're aware of that you 1016 00:38:14,728 --> 00:38:18,732 open, allowing that energy? 1017 00:38:18,799 --> 00:38:22,035 - I let a lot of stress get to me, and I let the-- 1018 00:38:22,102 --> 00:38:25,072 I let the past events that happened in my life 1019 00:38:25,138 --> 00:38:27,574 with people, like, just affect me sometimes. 1020 00:38:27,641 --> 00:38:29,376 Like, I got to-- 1021 00:38:29,443 --> 00:38:32,479 I got to learn how to, you know, like, forget about it 1022 00:38:32,546 --> 00:38:34,848 and leave it alone. 1023 00:38:34,915 --> 00:38:37,284 I'm glad that I could get down with this healing work, 1024 00:38:37,351 --> 00:38:40,754 you know, to find some closure from my past, you know, 1025 00:38:40,821 --> 00:38:43,624 because this is a way to release some things 1026 00:38:43,690 --> 00:38:44,658 that I've been feeling. 1027 00:38:44,725 --> 00:38:47,628 So it's definitely a big help. 1028 00:38:47,694 --> 00:38:50,964 - Who else? 1029 00:38:51,031 --> 00:38:53,066 - The interaction with individuals, 1030 00:38:53,133 --> 00:38:55,135 like, taking on some-- like, some of their burdens. 1031 00:38:55,202 --> 00:38:58,272 You know how people come to you for advice, 1032 00:38:58,338 --> 00:39:00,674 but it's more so not on a positive note. 1033 00:39:00,741 --> 00:39:02,709 It could be more so, like, negative. 1034 00:39:02,776 --> 00:39:05,679 Once I step away sometimes, you be like, man, 1035 00:39:05,746 --> 00:39:07,281 that was draining. 1036 00:39:07,347 --> 00:39:09,416 You know, like, it sucked the energy, 1037 00:39:09,483 --> 00:39:11,385 you know, out of me, so-- 1038 00:39:11,451 --> 00:39:12,452 - Mm. 1039 00:39:12,519 --> 00:39:13,720 - I agree with Apollo 100%. 1040 00:39:13,787 --> 00:39:14,655 That was what I was gonna say. 1041 00:39:14,721 --> 00:39:16,190 - Yeah? 1042 00:39:16,256 --> 00:39:17,658 - Yeah, just my interactions with people, 1043 00:39:17,724 --> 00:39:19,826 it's like automatically unknowingly 1044 00:39:19,893 --> 00:39:21,628 carrying their burdens. 1045 00:39:21,695 --> 00:39:25,098 - I want to address what you two are saying about people 1046 00:39:25,165 --> 00:39:27,601 coming to you and unloading, it's because you're 1047 00:39:27,668 --> 00:39:31,004 a natural healer, and it's learning 1048 00:39:31,071 --> 00:39:36,343 to put boundaries on who and what gets 1049 00:39:36,410 --> 00:39:38,078 to be unloaded in your field. 1050 00:39:38,145 --> 00:39:40,013 - Mm, that's the hardest part. 1051 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,215 - Yeah. 1052 00:39:41,281 --> 00:39:43,550 If it's pulling you down, 1053 00:39:43,617 --> 00:39:48,789 that's a negative, toxic energy trying to vampire your light. 1054 00:39:48,856 --> 00:39:51,959 - Now I'm realizing how draining it is to me. 1055 00:39:52,025 --> 00:39:54,428 This is costing me too much, you know, 1056 00:39:54,494 --> 00:39:55,762 because then I go to work-- 1057 00:39:55,829 --> 00:39:57,197 I go to work, and I can't perform. 1058 00:39:57,264 --> 00:39:58,966 To constantly worry about other people, 1059 00:39:59,032 --> 00:40:03,904 there's a level of exhaustion that is uncomprehendable. 1060 00:40:03,971 --> 00:40:05,772 That's not a good place to be in. 1061 00:40:05,839 --> 00:40:07,407 - It's heavy. 1062 00:40:07,474 --> 00:40:12,012 Your ancestors are calling you in a big way, 1063 00:40:12,079 --> 00:40:15,115 but it's your choice whether you 1064 00:40:15,182 --> 00:40:21,355 want to dig into that deep suffering of your own 1065 00:40:21,421 --> 00:40:25,125 so that you can serve others out of their suffering. 1066 00:40:25,192 --> 00:40:27,828 But you've got to learn the boundaries 1067 00:40:27,895 --> 00:40:31,865 ♪♪ ♪♪ 1068 00:40:31,932 --> 00:40:34,034 Because you're just so loving. 1069 00:40:34,101 --> 00:40:37,771 You have so much love to give. 1070 00:40:37,838 --> 00:40:40,641 But it's got to come back to you first. 1071 00:40:40,707 --> 00:40:47,848 ♪♪ ♪♪ 1072 00:40:54,021 --> 00:40:55,322 - Next time on the season finale of "Couples Retreat..." 1073 00:40:55,389 --> 00:40:56,256 - Can I say something? 1074 00:40:56,323 --> 00:40:57,424 - Yes! 1075 00:40:57,491 --> 00:40:58,792 - So I can be transparent? 1076 00:40:58,859 --> 00:41:00,027 I don't want nobody to be thinking 1077 00:41:00,093 --> 00:41:01,028 I'm shady, no kind of way. 1078 00:41:04,498 --> 00:41:07,734 - So we made it to our final day of the retreat. 1079 00:41:07,801 --> 00:41:09,570 - We're going to release the thing 1080 00:41:09,636 --> 00:41:11,705 that has plagued you the most. 1081 00:41:11,772 --> 00:41:15,342 - I'm releasing evil demons I be fighting. 1082 00:41:15,409 --> 00:41:17,311 - I don't know if his ass needed a couples 1083 00:41:17,377 --> 00:41:20,414 retreat or an exorcism. 1084 00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:23,283 - This is the most serious part of the retreat. 1085 00:41:23,350 --> 00:41:26,620 - Your new vows. 1086 00:41:26,687 --> 00:41:29,289 - I feel like if I don't love myself, 1087 00:41:29,356 --> 00:41:31,225 I'm not gonna know how to love you. 1088 00:41:31,291 --> 00:41:32,559 - I've never said this out loud, 1089 00:41:32,626 --> 00:41:34,795 so it's actually hard for me to say. 1090 00:41:34,862 --> 00:41:37,364 But I'm sorry. 1091 00:41:37,431 --> 00:41:39,032 I never meant to hurt you. 1092 00:41:39,099 --> 00:41:41,268 [dramatic music]