WONDROUS MUSIC PLAYS
VOICEOVER: 'It's the outrageous dance show that toys with the mind.
'Where celebrities compete to keep their identities wrapped up.
'Their voices distorted in interviews...'
But can you guess who I am?
'..leaving you and the panel guessing...'
Oh, my God!
'..who is behind the mask?
'Astronaut was the first to take off.'
JOEL: Oh, my God, it's Jesse Metcalfe!
CHEERING
'Six brand-new masked dancers Face Off.
'Onomatopoeia versus Pearly King.
'Pig versus Sea Slug.
'And Cactus versus Tomato Sauce.'
Who are you?! Oh...
What?!
Ah!
# Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?
# Who's that behind the mask? #
# But tell me, tell me
# Tell me what it is that you need
# Cos I think I'm onto something
# Cos I feel the good times coming
# Tell me, tell me
# Tell me what it is that you need
# Cos I think I'm onto something
# Cos I feel the good times coming
# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
# Cos I think I'm onto something
# Cos I feel the good times coming
# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
# Cos I think I'm onto something
# Cos I feel the good times coming
# Tell me, tell me Tell me what is that you need
# Cos I feel I'm onto something
# Cos I feel The good times coming. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
VOICEOVER: 'Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host,
'Joel Dommett.'
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Who are ya? Who are ya?
# Who's that behind the mask? #
How incredible was that?
I'm Joel Dommett and you're watching The Masked Dancer.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Tonight, six more characters will perform six epic dance routines,
and before the night is through,
one of them will reveal their true identity.
Until then... AUDIENCE: Ooh!
..it's gonna be a guessing frenzy!
And you can't have a frenzy without your best "friendzzz".
Give it up for the panel, everybody!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Go on, Joel!
Hello!
Yay!
He's six foot seven
and a little slice of heaven, it's Peter Crouch!
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
It's her "McCall" of duty to shake that booty,
It's Davina McCall!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
When she's not here, she's twerking from home -
it's Oti Mabuse!
DAVINA: Yes, Oti! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
He's so graceful on the dance floor,
I call him Swanathan Ross...
LAUGHTER ..it's Jonathan Ross!
Thank you. Thank you. Very kind. Very kind.
Jonathan, that opening number was incredible, right?
It was amazing.
I especially loved it cos, as you know, I love toys.
You do! I collect toys,
I love toys more than someone my age should love toys.
I'm not ashamed. I'm not one of those who keeps their toys in boxes.
I get my toys out and play with them.
If I seem preoccupied tonight, please forgive me.
LAUGHTER Oti...
Yes? ..a brand-new set of characters tonight.
Has anyone caught your eye already?
Yes, I loved Onomatopoeia.
Why did you like Onomatopoeia?
Cos I just love the word, as well, of course.
Just because it's so difficult to say.
And, Peter, can you say Onomatopoeia?
No, I really struggle.
LAUGHTER
Crouchy, er... Yes?
..have you been having a little snoop at Davina's notes?
Cos she writes a lot. Er, she does write...
Yes... ..a hell of a lot.
..but Crouchy also writes a lot.
Oh, my God. Chip off the old block!
LAUGHTER Best friends?
I'm taking it really seriously.
And I'm not very good at it. LAUGHTER
That's what I've realised.
OK, kids, playtime is over.
It's time to get guessing.
Good luck, everybody. Our panel!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Tonight, our six masked dancers will Face Off against each other
two at a time.
After each head-to-head,
the studio audience will vote for their favourite,
and the character with the fewest votes
will go into tonight's bottom three.
It will then be up to our panel to decide who is unmasked.
AUDIENCE: Ooh! Our first head-to-head is...
Pearly King versus Onomatopoeia!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yeah!
Up first, I'd be "lion" if I said I knew who this was.
It's Pearly King!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Look at that! Yeah!
DAVINA: Yeah! Yes!
CHEERING
SONG: 'Chelsea Dagger'
Showman. Oh, yeah.
Showman. Loves it.
Oh, God! So aggressive!
It's like Jonathan before lunch.
LAUGHTER
And now, please don't make me spell it out,
It's O-n...
Ah, forget it! It's Onomatopoeia!
# Bang, bang into the room I know you want it
# Bang, bang all over you... # Oh, yes!
Yeah! # I'll let you have it
# Wait a minute till you
# Ah, hey! #
Look at this! Aw!
Oh, I love it. These are great characters.
This is unbelievable.
This is my job!
LAUGHTER
Remember, part of tonight's films feature stunt doubles,
or "selbuodtnuts", if you say it backwards.
LAUGHTER
First up, it's the beast from the East... End.
It's Pearly King!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
ROAR
'Ello, guv'nor. It's your mucker, Pearly King.
Welcome to the streets of London.
Right, East End.
The Pearly King is part of a normal tradition.
Binoculars. Theatre?
We're honest folk who aren't afraid of hard work to get to where we are.
Apples and pears.
It's like rhyming slang. Oh, right.
Let me tell ya, they call me Pearly King.
It's been nice to try on another character for size.
Sometimes, people can confuse you with the person they see on screen.
They forget you might be playing a role.
Obviously, he's an actor.
But enough about that,
pull up a lion's lair and let's have a brew.
Tonight, we're having a knees-up!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
OTI: There's a lot of "DD".
Danny Dyer? Danny Dyer.
MUSIC STARTS, AUDIENCE CHEERING
# Some people might say My life is in a rut
# I'm quite happy with what I got
# People might say that I should strive for more
# But I'm so happy I can't see the point
# Something's happening here today
# A show of strength With your boy's brigade
# And I'm so happy And you're so kind
# You want more money Of course, I don't mind
# To buy nuclear textbooks For atomic crimes
# And the public gets What the public wants
# But I want nothing This society's got
# I'm going underground Going underground
# Well, if the brass bands play And feet start to pound
# Going underground Going underground
# Well, let the boys all sing And the boys... #
What have we got there? King of the hill.
King Street.
# Going underground
# I'm going underground
# La-la-la-la
# This braying sheep On my TV screen
# Make this boy shout Make this boy scream
# Going underground I'm going underground
# Well, if the brass bands play And feet start to pound
# Going underground Going underground
# Well, let the boys all sing And let the boys all shout
# Going underground Going underground
# Well, if the brass bands play Feet go pound-pound-pound
# Going underground... #
# So let the boys all sing Feet go pound-pound-pound
# For tomorrow. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
DAVINA: Yay!
CHEERING CONTINUES
Give it up for Pearly King, everybody!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Oh, so good!
Wow! Little...
Slightly afraid of you, OK? There's...
Oh, God! He's so aggressive!
Oh, I preferred it when we had to be socially distanced.
LAUGHTER
Oti?
I love everything about that.
I don't think this is a professional dancer.
Maybe a professional mover... DAVINA: He's upset about that.
Don't be upset. Don't tell him that!
I'm close enough that he's gonna swing at me.
But I really love the look of it. Yeah.
And the outfit! I just thought,
"Who can dress like this with confidence?"
And then I looked at Jonathan. LAUGHTER
I feel like it's got a vibe of Jonathan before he has a shave.
LAUGHTER
I'm nowhere near that energetic.
Looking from the package,
I heard a lot about East Enders
and I see from the set, there's a lot of "DDs".
And that's something that's being...
AUDIENCE CHEER ..repeated a lot.
APPLAUSE
So I thought, maybe Danny Dyer from EastEnders?
Whoa! APPLAUSE
Audience loving that! OTI LAUGHS
Don't think it's Danny Dyer. You're going in the wrong direction.
The other DD, who it is,
and I know the audience are gonna 100% agree with me...
It's David Dickinson, ladies and gentlemen. Obviously!
Look at the colour of his face - it's David Dickinson!
LAUGHTER
Peter? Yeah.
I've been on a journey with this one.
The cockney references, he's a right geezer
and that could be Ray Winstone.
DAVINA: Oh, yes! He's SO Ray Winstone.
Look at that!
My journey went on, I'm not finished.
LAUGHTER
The CDs led me to believe he was a singer,
binoculars, he's been on stage.
The loud outfit, the fact that we believe his character
and not actually the person that he is,
led me to think he's Alfie Moon.
It's Shane Richie. DAVINA: Oh!
Ooh. OTI: Well done!
Look that! If you had a microphone, you would have dropped it.
Boom! LAUGHTER
Davina?
I just love Pearly King.
Your attitude... LAUGHTER
..your swagger.
Are you OK? I'll be honest,
I'm-I'm sc-scared of everything he's doing to me.
I can't tell whether he hates me or is flirting with me,
I'll be honest. I don't know what's going on.
LAUGHTER So, first person I thought of,
he played the Krays, from the East End,
so I'm gonna go with Tom Hardy.
OTI: Yeah!
JONATHAN: Do you know what this is Joel?
This is not so much guessing,
this is just desperately who Davina wants it to be.
LAUGHTER
You guys need a little help?
Yes. Yes, please.
It's Clue Detector time!
AUDIENCE WHOOPS
OK, let's find out where your clue is...
CLUE DETECTOR WARBLES
WARBLING INTENSIFIES
It's the mane! It's the mane.
I'm absolutely petrified.
OK, Pearly King, can we have your clue about your mane, please?
My mane is sometimes all I need
to feel confident.
JOEL REPEATS CLUE
Does that mean they have, like, an iconic hairstyle?
Yes. Hair a lot like...
David Dickinson!
David Dickinson is a very solid guess, Davina.
So, who's behind the mask?
We'll only Adam and Eve it when we see it.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Pearly King!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Wow. CHEERING
Wow! He is great.
Love Pearly King.
Do the panel have a Scooby Doo who Pearly King is?
Or are they in a right bit of Barney Rubble?
That felt a-mane-zing!
But the panel's guesses are "Dyer".
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Coming up, Onomatopoeia will be hitting the stage,
so everyone have an ad break dance break.
Go!
# Who's that behind the mask? #
Welcome back to The Masked Dancer!
If you love a curious conundrum concealed in a kooky costume
crossed with clues, choreography and Peter Crouch,
this could be the show for you.
We've carved out a very specific niche.
LAUGHTER
But now, make some noise, specifically pops bangs and claps,
for Onomatopoeia!
# Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?
# Who's that behind the mask? #
# I'm the cat with the bass and drum
# Going around like bom, bom, bom! #
Here, that'll work.
Are you ready for someone to bring the noise?
Then get ready for me, Onomatopoeia.
The noise, maybe a musician?
I sound like what I am and I am what I sound like.
Got it?
That's the old Hugh Grant routine in a library.
I'm one thing made up of many parts.
A team of words, if you will.
A team of words. A writer?
What I do takes stamina.
# I'm so cool and I'm so groovy... #
But I'm here for the long game.
# When I go bom, bom, bom! #
A cannon. That was the Arsenal badge.
And if there's one thing that'll fire me up,
it's the sound of a crowd in a stadium
cheering to get me on my feet.
Oh, look, look, that looks like boxing.
Believe me, I know first-hand, a billion times over.
So, do you like the sound of me?
Tonight, ready, steady, Argentine tan-go!
# I'm so cool and I'm so groovy
# When I go bom, bom, bom! #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
# Every time you come around
# You know I can't say no
# Every time the sun goes down I let you take control... #
Oh. Oh, sexy.
# I can feel the paradise Before my world implodes
# And tonight Had something wonderful
# My bad habits lead to late nights Endin' alone
# Conversations with a stranger I barely know
# Swearing this will be the last But it probably won't... #
Wow. Good moves. Insane!
# Or use or do
# My bad habits lead to wide eyes Stare into space
# And I know I lose control Of the things that I say
# Yeah, I was looking for a way out Now I can't escape
# Nothing happens after two It's true
# It's true My bad habits lead to you
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
# My bad habits lead to you
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
# My bad habits lead to wide eyes Stare into space
# And I know I lose control... #
They're so good!
# Yeah, I was looking for a way out Now I can't escape
# Nothing happens after two It's true
# It's true My bad habits lead to you. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Wow.
Onomatopoeia, everybody!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yay! So good!
So, so, so good. My mouth was open throughout the whole performance.
Yeah, it's amazing. That was incredible.
You did something with your leg and then you chucked her on the floor
and you lifted her up and I was like, "Yes!"
And you did all of that in that outfit.
I think I'm in love with you, Onomatopoeia,
I just love it so much. Wow.
I do think, just from everything that I saw,
you were in a library, you were talking a lot about words,
and then that made me think maybe a comedian,
somebody who works with a lot of words,
and someone who I know also dances is Russell Kane.
Ooh. Yeah.
DAVINA: Oh, yes. Yeah.
That was a tango he was dancing? That was an Argentine tango.
Argentine tango. It's that one where you're like, "Prrrr!"
I love it. You know what, there's a boxer
who prides himself on being very well read...
Yes. ..and who would do this show, is Chris Eubank.
Chris has that kind of vibe.
APPLAUSE
I still, I still don't really know what one of these is.
LAUGHTER
Peter still doesn't know what an onomatopoeia is. Boom!
It's like, you could guess what the word means from the way it sounds.
Oh, OK. Sweep, pop, zip.
Bang! It's a learning show as well.
LAUGHTER
Saw the Arsenal badge, New York reference. Yeah.
If it's someone who played in New York, that'd be Thierry Henry.
Oh, yes. Thierry Henry.
And wait... "Va-va-voom."
It's incredible. Davina, who do you think it is?
So, Bring The Noise.
There was a TV programme and in it was Tinie Tempah.
Ah.
I was thinking along the lines of a writer,
but Tinie Tempah is an amazing lyricist.
He's also acted, which is the many parts,
and Tinie... Tiny!
Yep. That's Onomatopoeic, and that's his actual name.
I mean, his stage name. It's not an Onomatopoeia.
It's only cos you're saying it like "tiny", "tiny".
Do you want another clue? Yes, please, Joel.
Please. Right.
CLUE DETECTOR WARBLES
WARBLING INTENSIFIES
It's the bicep. Wow.
Ooh. OK, Onomatopoeia, give us your bicep clue.
My body has been considered an anatomically perfect specimen. Wow.
"My body..." An anatomically perfect specimen.
Jonathan, who do you think it is?
David Dickinson. David Dickinson.
LAUGHTER
We'll only find out who's plopped inside the costume
when the mask comes off.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Onomatopoeia!
# Bang, bang into the room... #
Head off down, my friend. So good.
# I'll let you have it
# Wait a minute till you
# Ah, hey! #
Are the panel making all the right noises?
Have you worked out who Onomatopoeia is?
Kapow! What a start to the competition.
The panel are never "Gunners" guess who I am.
So, studio audience, who do you want to see perform again?
Pearly King or Onomatopoeia?
The winner will remain in the competition,
the other could find themselves unmasked at the end of the show.
Please welcome back Pearly King and Onomatopoeia!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?
# Who's that behind the mask? #
Studio audience, you are voting for your favourite masked dancer.
Please vote now.
ALL: Ooh...
LAUGHTER
Oh, my God. I can't tell whether he's in character,
or there's genuinely an issue.
LAUGHTER
Oh, he's OK, he's OK.
So funny.
The results are in.
WHOOPING
I can reveal the masked dancer with the most votes,
and safely through, is...
..Onomatopoeia!
Yay! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Onomatopoeia, congratulations, head off down the tunnel my friend.
# Bang, bang into the room I know you want it
# Bang, bang all over you I'll let you have it
# Wait a minute till you
# Ah, hey! #
Pearly King, unfortunately, you are now in tonight's bottom three.
Later, the panel will decide whether you will remain in the competition
or be unmasked at the end of the show. Aw!
For now, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Pearly King, everyone.
Yeah! Yay!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Wonderful stuff.
Now, don't go switching
because after the break, it's Pig versus Sea Slug.
# Who's that behind the mask? #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back to The Masked Dancer!
Whoo! Before the break, our studio audience gave Onomatopoeia
the chance to dance another day,
leaving Pearly King in tonight's bottom three.
But who will be joining them?
Yes! It's time for our next head-to-head.
It's Pig versus Sea Slug!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
This little piggy went to mask it, it's Pig!
# I'm coming up... #
I love that costume, this looks hilarious.
# You better get this party started I'm coming up, I'm coming...#
I love Piggy's trousers. Yeah.
It's like an old English kind of outfit, isn't it?
# You better get this party started.
I love it. I'm dressed like a naked you.
LAUGHTER
Nobody does it wetter, it's Sea Slug!
# A deeper love
# A deeper love... #
Look at that walk. Strut.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Don't forget, on this show, there are clues everywhere -
on stage, in the graphics, in the costumes,
in the dances, in the host, maybe.
So keep your eyes popped and locked on the performances.
But now, notebooks at the ready, people,
because it's time for our clue package.
It's Pig!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
OK. Here come the clues, Oti. Let's go, let's do this.
Tally ho, old sport. I'm Pig.
SNORTS
Oh, racing. A betting slip.
Someone who does horse racing?
Now, you might think pigs are ordinary animals,
but I'm here to tell you there's "snout" a pig can't do.
Just you wait and see.
MUSIC: 'Country House' by Blur
So, lots of different sports?
Yeah, maybe, yeah. Like a pentathlete or something.
But the proof will be in the black pudding, as they say,
and this little piggy is strong, ambitious and fiery.
# He lives in a house
# A very big house In the country... #
I'm always up for a challenge
and happy as a pig in blankets to get started.
Just as in life, I'm ready to go whole hog in this race.
Oh, and that was a racing glove.
Did you see the white knuckles?
So, buckle up, here we go. Vroom, vroom, vroom, I say.
GIGGLES
Tonight, I'm lacing up my good boots
because I'm gonna be walking on sunshine.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Ooh, yeah
# I used to think maybe you loved me
# Now, baby, I'm sure
# And I just can't wait
# Till the day When you knock on my door... #
Yeah! Come on!
# Now every time I go for the mailbox
# Gotta hold myself down
# Cos I just can't wait Till you write me
# You're coming around... #
I think they're younger. Yeah.
# I'm walking on sunshine, whoa
# And don't it feel good
# Hey! All right, now
# And don't it feel good
# Hey! Yeah
# Feel the love, feel the love
# I feel the love, it's really real
# I feel alive, I feel the love
# I feel the love, it's really real
# I'm on sunshine, baby, oh
# Oh, yeah
# I'm on sunshine, baby... #
I really think they've got some experience.
# I'm walking on sunshine, whoa
# I'm walking on sunshine Whoa-oh-oh
# And don't it feel good
# Hey... #
Whoo! Yeah!
# And don't it feel good
# I'll say it, I'll say it I'll say it again now
# And don't it feel good! #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yes, Pig!
Whoo!
Give it up for Pig, everybody!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Wow, Pig. That was incredible.
Wow! I loved that.
Jonathan, what did you think?
A wiggly, jiggly, little piggly.
LAUGHTER
But what a great performance, great song as well.
So many clues in that package, I'm sure you picked up most of them.
Did you notice the piggy was wearing a kind of driving glove?
A leather driving glove. Yeah.
What do we get from pigs? Leather.
Leather? We don't get leather from pigs!
Don't know why I said that. Who's wearing pig shoes out there?
No, not, no, I take that back.
We get sausages, but we also get ham. Ham, ham.
And if we think about racing and ham,
and someone who's not that big,
could it be Richard Hammond in there, ladies and gentlemen?
Richard Hammond?
Richard... It could be Richard Hammond.
Hang on a minute. It's a woman. I mean, there's a...
You think so? It's definitely a woman.
It's a guy. I think it's a man.
But I love the clothes. The last time I saw someone wearing trousers
like that, it was Sandi Toksvig, so could it be Sandi Toksvig?
She's got the physicality.
Crouchy, we're gonna come to you next.
Yeah, I got... I was on the same path as Jonathan
with the race meeting.
Obviously, I thought it might be a jockey.
Yes. Reasonably small. I don't want to...
LAUGHTER
Whoa, whoa. Peter, to you,
everyone's reasonably small, aren't they?
That is true.
But, yeah, I felt a jockey
and I felt Frankie Dettori could be a potential shout. Yes.
Ooh.
I did notice the number 47 above the door.
I don't know whether that's someone's age, potentially.
Yes. Mm.
Or maybe, in Peter's case, his inside leg.
LAUGHTER With a half.
Davina, who are you thinking, my friend?
So, I think Pig is a pig of many talents.
I think that Pig can do many different sports.
Maybe some kind of athlete, like a pentathlete. Stop flirting.
Sorry. I'm guessing here.
So, I'm thinking Jessica Ennis-Hill.
OK. Is from Sheffield.
APPLAUSE
A lot of people in the studio agreeing. I like that.
Oti, what are you thinking? OK, OK.
So, there was a lot of mention of country, country,
and that made me think of a TV show, Countryfile.
Yes. Also a northern presenter, maybe Anita Rani.
Oh, yes. What I thought.
Yeah. Yes, yes.
APPLAUSE
Do you guys want another clue? Yes!
Yes, let me just pull out my Clue Detector!
WHOOPING
Let's see if we can find something on Pig. Here we go.
CLUE DETECTOR WARBLES
WARBLING CONTINUES
WARBLING, LAUGHTER
HIGH-PITCHED WARBLING
Oh, yes! Bingo!
We've landed on Pig's ear,
which means the clue should relate to that body part.
Pig, take it away with your clue.
I once made a right pig's ear of meeting someone I really admired.
Has that helped any of you at all?
I mean, I think we've all done that. Yes, well...
Jonathan, the first time you met me, of course.
Well, no, I was talking about people we've admired.
Well, have you got an "oinkling" of who it might be?
LAUGHTER
We'll only find out when the mask comes off.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Pig!
Well done. Off you trot.
It's a tough one, that.
But this is someone who's danced before.
Have the panel made a pig's ear of their guesses?
Who do you think's behind the mask?
I've definitely left the panel guessing after my first performance.
They can't even work out if I'm a boy or a girl!
He-he-he-he!
Well, Pig was hot to trot,
but now, they're big on the marine dance scene,
it's Sea Slug!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?
# Who's that behind the mask? #
# Give it to me! #
Down low at the bottom of the sea, it's me, Sea Slug.
The sea. Swimmer?
It's very bubbly down here, which is a lot like me.
On, American... That's the American hat.
I'm very friendly, a big, squishy softy.
Although don't get on the wrong side of me
because sea slugs can also be a little bit spiky.
But only if we have to be.
Arrows going in one direction.
Ooh!
With all these bright colours, I'm practically phosphorescent,
and glow in the dark is definitely in this season.
Fashion. "In this season."
But can you guess who I am?
If you need help, I might throw you a lifeline or two.
Tonight, I'm going to make a splash on the dance floor.
A splash is another show. Yes.
# Boys call you sexy
# And you don't care what they say
# See, every time you turn around They're screaming your name
# Now, I've got a confession
# When I was young I wanted attention
# And I promised myself That I'd do anything
# Anything at all For them to notice me
# But I ain't complaining
# We all wanna be famous
# So go ahead and say What you wanna say
# You don't know what it's like To be nameless... #
That is amazing! It's a guy.
# See, when I was younger I would say
# When I grow up, I wanna be famous
# I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies
# When I grow up I wanna see the world
# Drive nice cars I wanna have groupies
# When I grow up Be on TV
# People know me Be on magazines
# When I grow up... # Whoa!
# Fresh and clean
# Number one chick When I step out on the scene
# Be careful what you wish for Cos you just might get it
# You just might get it
# Be careful what you wish for Cos you just might get it
# You just might get it
When I grow up
# I wanna be famous I wanna be a star
# I wanna be in movies. Ha... #
Whoo! # Get it
# When I grow up, I wanna be famous
# I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies
# When I grow up I wanna see the world
# Drive nice cars I wanna have groupies
# When I grow up
# Be on TV, people know me Be on magazines
# When I grow up. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yes!
That was off the charts.
Oh! Superb.
Sea Slug, everybody!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
I love the sass.
Oh!
Crouchy, I'm gonna come to you first, mate.
I'm still finding this very difficult.
LAUGHTER
You lot are used to it.
Like, I'm watching a sea slug dancing in front of my very eyes.
I loved it and I thought, great dancer.
I think, with the heels,
I was thinking there was a fashion element to it.
Ahh. Oh.
Oh! Hold off!
Sea Slug's happy with that.
JONATHAN: Work it, girl.
I thought it would be Gok Wan.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Davina, what are you thinking?
When you came out and danced, you absolutely blew my tiny mind.
I was... CHEERING
Honestly, it was so kind of forceful and energetic and youthful.
LAUGHTER
And I had written down Angela Rippon.
LAUGHTER
So I'm "Rippon" that up.
LAUGHTER
But I was thinking, bubbly person, friendly, big, squishy softy.
That is Gok Wan.
He's so lovely and, like, cuddly and...
It's not bad. It's not bad.
It's not bad at all.
Is there any clues in the performance, Oti?
So, that was doing a full commercial routine. Yes.
And it was also, like you said, energy, confidence.
You were doing it in heels, which is amazing
in the first place, and in that mask,
and still looked really fabulous doing it.
That was incredible.
See, when I looked at the clue package, I saw bubbly,
then I saw, like, the treasure chest and the shipwreck
and I thought maybe I'm A Celeb and someone who was on there.
Also a performer, can sing and dance.
I thought Fleur East.
Yes. That's a good guess, Oti.
Thank you. Jonathan, what are you thinking?
Did you notice, on the treasure chest,
there were loads of arrows,
and did you notice the arrows were all pointing in one direction?
AUDIENCE MURMURING
Do we finally know where Zayn is? Maybe, it could be.
LAUGHTER
He's been gone too long.
Guys, do you want a clue? Yes. Yes, please.
I think we need the Clue Detector!
WHOOPING
OK, here we go.
CLUE DETECTOR WARBLES
LAUGHTER
HIGH-PITCHED WARBLING
LAUGHTER
Dogs in the country are going mad right now.
LAUGHTER
OK, we've found something. The clue is connected to the hand.
Sea Slug, take it away, please.
You've got to hand it to me,
this sea slug sure knows how to scrub up well.
"This sea slug sure knows how to scrub up well."
You know, RuPaul's Drag Race, they always change and scrub up well.
Maybe this is Michelle Visage.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Wasn't Scrubs a TV show? Yes.
I don't know anyone in it. LAUGHTER
But it's a good start.
# Oh, we won't get to see inside The sea slug... #
LAUGHTER
# ..until the mask comes off. #
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Sea Slug!
# A deeper love
# A deeper love. #
Look at that. That's a guy, that's a guy.
Are the panel on a slimy path to success with their guesses?
Who do you think Sea Slug is?
I loved performing as Sea Slug.
The panel's guesses were such a drag.
They think the wind's in the east, but they're all lost at sea.
So, studio audience, who do you want to see again?
Pig or Sea Slug?
The winner will keep their place in the competition,
the other will be in tonight's bottom three.
Please welcome back Pig and Sea Slug!
# Who are ya? Who's that behind the mask?
# Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?
# Who are ya? Who are ya?
# Who's that behind the mask? #
Studio audience, remember,
you are voting for your favourite masked dancer.
Vote now.
The results are in.
Gosh.
I can reveal that the masked dancer with the most votes
and keeping their mask firmly on is...
..Sea Slug!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yeah! Well done, Sea Slug, congratulations.
Head off down into the tunnel.
# A deeper love. # Yes!
Wonderful stuff.
Pig, sadly, that means you're in tonight's bottom three.
Later, the panel will decide
whether you will stay in the competition or be unmasked tonight,
but for now, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Pig!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you, Pig.
Off you trot.
# Who are ya? Who are ya?
# Who's that behind the mask? #
After the break, it's Cactus versus Tomato Sauce
in our final head-to-head of the night.
# Who's that behind the mask? #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Welcome back to The Masked Dancer!
Remember, hidden amongst
all of the toe-tapping and booty shaking,
are clues to our character's identity.
So watch the performances closely, people.
Whoo!
It's time for our final head-to-head of the night.
Cactus versus Tomato Sauce.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Cactus is hilarious.
Cactus if you can... it's Cactus!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Wow. Oh, look, he's got wrestling gear on.
Oh, yes.
Hip, hip, puree...
It's Tomato Sauce!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
She's really tall, yeah?
Oh, very cute.
LAUGHING: Very cute.
Look at that little face.
OK. Up first, they really remind me of someone,
but I can't put my finger on it cos it hurts.
LAUGHTER It's Cactus!
MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYS
Hola, amigos! It's time to step into the ring with Cactus.
In Mexico, we wrestlers are known as "Luchadores",
and we are famous for putting on a show.
Shh!
Silence.
Sportsperson? Golf, quiet - snooker.
And have I got a performance for you all tonight.
# Ah, push it... #
Hall of fame. Music?
Not everyone might choose to step into the ring,
but I believe that everyone has it in them to be a champion.
Number one ranking?
Footballers' names there. # Ooh, baby, baby... #
Some might say performing on The Masked Dancer
is an impossible challenge.
But I've conquered some pretty iconic venues,
so I'm up for the ride.
So somebody that's played some big... Like Wembley?
This is the giant performance I've been preparing for.
So let's hope I won't get busted any time soon.
Round one - let's go!
# Push it, push it Push it, push it. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
It's a type of jalapeno.
Love chillies.
# She's into superstitions
# Black cats and voodoo dolls
# I feel a premonition
# That girl's gonna make me fall
# She'll make you Take your clothes off
# And go dancing in the rain
# She'll make you live Her crazy life
# But she'll take away your pain
# Like a bullet to your brain Come on!
# Upside, inside out She's livin' la vida loca
# She'll push and pull you down Livin' la vida loca
# Her lips are devil red
# And her skin's the colour mocha
# She will wear you out
# Livin' la vida loca
# She's livin' la vida loca She's livin' la vida loca... #
AUDIENCE CHEERING
# Upside, inside out She's livin' la vida loca
# She'll push and pull you down Livin' la vida loca
# Her lips are devil red And her skin's the colour mocha
# She will wear you out Livin' la vida loca
# Come on! She's livin' la vida loca
# She's livin' la vida loca... #
INSTRUMENTAL, CHEERING
# Gotta la vida loca
# Gotta, gotta, gotta la vida loca
# Gotta, gotta, gotta la vi'...! #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Wow!
Cactus, everybody!
So spikey, so spikey.
Davina, I'm gonna come to you first.
Cactus, that was an epic performance.
Really, really good fun.
I get, like, hints of either rock star or comedian
cos you've got such a good sense of humour.
So, I was thinking, "Hall Of Fame" is actually a Script song.
Yes. So it could be Danny O'Donoghue.
APPLAUSE
Great one. DD. OK, who are you going to go for, Crouchy?
Well, I noticed on the VT, obviously there was a bit for "silence".
He puts on a good show. DAVINA: Oh, yeah.
I thought that the numbers were potentially rankings.
Because I think that's Ronnie O'Sullivan.
Ronnie O'Sullivan? DAVINA: What?!
Oti, what you thinking?
Listen, Cactus, that was absolutely amazing.
I loved the fire,
I loved the jalapenos that were shimmying at the back.
I love that your were doing a bit of jive.
Do I think that you are a professional dancer?
No. Oh!
But you're still really good at it
and you gave us a fun, fun, fun performance.
I also, kind of, get the feeling of musician and guitar.
And I'm gonna go with a Danny, but another Danny.
Danny Jones.
DAVINA: Oh, love Danny. Yeah.
Ooh, big Danny Jones. Jonathan, what are you thinking?
If you go just from the face on the mask, it could be Alan Carr.
LAUGHTER
But here's the person I think it is.
Another clue, if we're thinking about Busted,
maybe puts us into the realm of boy bands... Yes.
There was the line, "My jive'll make you get down.
Do you remember the song?
# Everybody get up Singing one, two, three, four. #
I think he's from Five.
I think it's Ritchie Neville from Five.
Absolutely.
Ritchie from Five?
Yep.
Do you guys want another clue?
ALL: Yes!
OK, let's see where it goes.
CLUE DETECTOR WARBLES
DAVINA: Oh, I like that sound.
LAUGHTER
I think it's the eye.
The eyes have it. OK, Cactus, tell us about your eye.
"Eye" often get mistaken for a mythical beast.
Mythical beast?
So what are the mythical beasts?
There's a chimera, there's a basilisk,
There's a unicorn. JOEL GASPS
CROUCHY: Trolls. Dragons.
Dragons! Someone with drag on...
Dragons' Den. Dragons' Den.
ALL SPEAK AT ONCE
Deborah Meaden.
LAUGHTER This could be Deborah Meaden.
OK, who's inside this prickly customer?
We'll only see when the mask comes off.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Cactus!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Are the panel's guesses looking sharp?
Who do you think's behind the mask?
I scorched the dance floor tonight!
Though, the panel's guesses are a bit prickly,
they have no idea who I really am.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
After the break, we have the final performance of the night,
before one of our mystery movers is unmasked.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Who's that behind the mask? #
Welcome back to The Masked Dancer.
Before the break, Cactus was succulent,
but now, just like Mama used to make it,
it's Tomato Sauce!
Whoo!
SQUIRTING, TOMATO SAUCE GIGGLES
Hello, it's me, Tomato Sauce. I'm here to put the sauce
into saucy, quite literally.
Oh, it's quite flirty, no?
Now, it's simply stating facts that tomato sauce
is a staple at meal times.
Where are they there? That's like a farm shop. Market.
A good tomato sauce can easily be paired with anything,
from the delectably simple to the tantalisingly cordon bleu.
Tomato Sauce interview take one.
On air.
Radio person or TV person.
Go on, have a squeeze, I won't judge what you put it on,
not this time.
Tomato sauce is always at the heart of the table,
it's where people "ketchup" with one another.
Many an important conversation can be had while breaking bread.
But I'm an ever-humble condiment,
I just want to make the world a more tasteful place.
Tonight, I'm planning on keeping you on your toma-toes.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Oh-oh
# I say, hey, boy Sittin' in your tree
# Mummy always wants you To come for tea
# Don't be shy Straighten up your tie
# Get down from your treehouse Sittin' in the sky
# I wanna know just what to do
# Is it very big? Is there room for two?
# I got a house With windows and doors
# I'll show you mine If you show me yours
# Gotta let me in, hey, hey, hey
# Let the fun begin, hey
# I'm the wolf today Hey, hey, hey... #
Oh, look, Irish dancing.
# I'll huff, I'll puff
I'll blow you away
# Say you will Say you won't
# Say you'll do what I don't
# Say you're true, say to me
# C'est la vie... # Ahh!
# Say you will, say you won't
# Say you'll do what I don't
# Say you're true, say to me What are you like?
# C'est la vie... # # C'est la vie
# Hey, hey Na-na-na, hey
# Na-na-na, oh
# Na-na-na, hey
# Hey-hey-hey-hey... #
This is amazing. # Say you will, say you won't
# Say you'll do what I don't Say you will
# Say you're true, say to me
# Wanna say, c'est la vie
# Say you will, say you won't
# Say you'll do what I don't
# Say you're true, say to me
# Fight like me dad as well C'est la vie. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Tomato Sauce, everybody!
Oh! They loved that so much, so cute.
Davina, I'm going to come to you first.
It was so good, where did that come from?
I was thinking you've got to be Irish,
you've got to have been learning that
from when you were a little girl. Got to be.
It was amazing.
At one point, it did look like she was trying to get a sock off.
Yeah.
I had guessed because of all the food
that it must be somebody, a cook, a chef,
and I thought Nigella Lawson. Oh.
I mean, Nigella Lawson is saucy, let's be honest. Yeah.
Crouchy, what are you thinking, my friend?
Well, firstly, I'm not a huge fan of tomato sauce, but I loved that.
Yes! DAVINA: Yes!
Peter, what do you have on your chips?
You're not one of those weirdos who does mayonnaise?
No, not mayo, no, I actually do have ketchup,
I just made that up. LAUGHTER
I loved the performance, a saucy chef thing, I got,
that's why I was thinking Gordon Ramsey, he's quite saucy.
He's quite a saucy guy.
But I went for...
The percentages got me and I went to Countdown
and I thought it could be Rachel Riley. Ooh, OK.
APPLAUSE
Jonathan, what did you think?
Here's my guess, a staple at teatime, she said,
could it be someone who's on the radio at tea time?
And that'd be Sara Cox.
She does the Drivetime Show on Radio 2.
APPLAUSE
Oti, what are you thinking?
OK, I thought that was amazing, Tomato Sauce,
I feel like you used the floor really, really well
and your footwork was really impressive
and I saw there was something that said "on air"
also with the food references, also Irish,
I thought of Clodagh McKenna
who works on This Morning and cooks as well.
People liking that in the studio, Oti Mabuse.
Thank you.
Do you want some more clues? Yes, please. Yes.
There's only one thing for it, engage Clue Detector.
JUDGES: Yeah!
CHEERING
OK, let's go for it, what is the clue about?
CLUE DETECTOR WARBLES
WARBLING INTENSIFIES
OK, thank God, it's the stomach.
Yes. LAUGHTER
Tomato Sauce, using your stomach as inspiration,
please, give us your clue.
I had a stomach-churning moment in a famous house.
In a famous house.
I had a stomach churning moment in a famous house.
Big Brother. Big Brother, yeah.
I'm trying to think who had a stomach churning moment
in the Big Brother house. Yes.
Every single housemate that ever went in there.
OK, will you be saying "of course" when you see Tomato Sauce?
LAUGHTER
You'll only found out when the mask comes off.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Tomato Sauce!
Extremely attractive tomato. Yeah, very cute.
Have the panel guessed Tomato Sauce's identity
or are they already playing ketchup?
Who do you think's behind the mask?
That was to-mazing.
I've got this competition in the bottle, he-he!
So, studio audience, who do you want to save,
Cactus or Tomato Sauce?
The winner will stay in the competition,
the other will join tonight's bottom three.
It is time to vote.
Please, welcome back to the stage Cactus and Tomato Sauce.
# Who are ya? Who are ya?
# Who are ya?
# Who's that behind the mask? #
Love it. Remember, studio audience,
you are voting for your favourite masked dancer.
Please, vote now.
The results are in.
I can reveal that the masked dancer with the most votes
and keeping their dancing shoes on is...
..Tomato Sauce!
# Who's that behind the mask? #
Congratulations, Tomato Sauce.
Well done, head off into the tunnel. Well done.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Cactus! That means you're in tonight's bottom three.
Very shortly, the panel will decide if you'll dance again
or be unmasked tonight, my friend,
but for the moment, give it up for Cactus, everyone.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
After the break, Pig, Pearly King or Cactus
will reveal their identity.
Don't go anywhere. I mean, who would stop watching now?
# Who's that behind the mask? #
Welcome back to The Masked Dancer.
Sea Slug, Onomatopoeia and Tomato Sauce
have secured their places in the competition,
but for Pig, Pearly King and Cactus,
their fates lie in the hands of our panel.
To help you decide,
here's a reminder of all three performances.
# Going underground Going underground
# Well, if the brass bands play And feet start to pound
# Going underground Going underground... #
# I'm walking on sunshine, whoa
# And don't it feel good... #
# Upside, inside out She's livin' la vida loca... #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
This is it. AUDIENCE: Ooh!
Davina... Yes.
..who have the panel decided to save first?
We hate this part because you all deserve to be here,
but the first Masked Dancer we have chosen to save...
It's Cactus. # Who's that behind the mask? #
Wow. That leaves Pearly King and Pig.
Davina, please, tell us
the second Masked Dancer you'd like to save.
The second Masked Dancer that we would like to save
is someone who really carries their character.
CHANTING
It's Pearly King.
Pearly King!
Pearly King and Cactus,
your identity will remain a secret for now.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Cactus and Pearly King.
Head off down the tunnel, guys, well done.
Ohh, Pig, Pig! I'm so sorry, Pig.
Oh, no. AUDIENCE: Aw.
Sadly, your time on The Masked Dancer
has come to an end, it is almost time to find out
who you really are, but first, panel,
who do you think is behind the mask?
Come to you first, Jonathan.
I wish you hadn't because I'm still confused,
and I'm sorry to see you go.
Although, I'll see you at the barbecue tomorrow.
I'm gonna go back to who I said earlier,
I'm gonna go to Sandi Toksvig.
Sandi Toksvig. Oti?
I am also so, so, so confused, but I'm going to say Anita Rani.
Anita Rani, OK. Davina?
I think heavily disguised in that costume is Jessica Ennis-Hill.
Jessica Ennis-Hill. Peter Crouch, what are you saying?
I'm going to stick with Frankie Dettori.
Frankie Dettori. I think that's a great shout.
I hope it is Frankie Dettori.
I really hope it's Frankie Dettori.
OK, there's only one way to find out.
It's time to reveal the identity of our Masked Dancer.
Who's behind the mask? Take it off!
ALL: Take it off! Take it off!
Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!
Take it off! Take it off!
Who are you?
Take it off! Take it off! Come on!
Take it off! Take it off!
Oh! Take it off! Take it off!
It's Joanna Page!
Oh, my God!
It's actress Joanna Page, everybody.
What?!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
You were so amazing. What?!
I was so sure I was right.
I mean, let's be fair, you were all absolutely miles away.
Totally wrong.
What did you think of some of their guesses, Joanna?
Oh, my goodness, really quite funny.
I was quite pleased you thought I was a man.
LAUGHTER
You look nothing like Frankie Dettori!
Thank goodness!
Something, now, that is shouting out to me,
is the number 47 that you brought up, Peter Crouch.
That was the house in Gavin and Stacey.
Yes, it was Stacey's house number. Yes.
That was the house number.
You said that you'd embarrassed yourself when you met someone. Yes.
I made pig's ear of myself the first time I met Emma Thompson
at the Love Actually read through.
I went to the loo and the toilet wouldn't flush and I had to come out
and go, "Oh, hello, Emma. I've only done a wee."
LAUGHTER
Did you enjoy yourself? Oh, I had a fantastic time.
It's been absolutely amazing. The children don't know or anything.
So I'm very excited cos this is their favourite programme.
Kids, kids, I was Pig!
LAUGHTER
Give it up for Joanna Page, everybody.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
We'll be back next week for more masked moving and shaking.
Stay here on ITV for The Voice.
Right now, dancing one final time, unmasked at last -
ladies and gentlemen, this little piggy went all the way home.
It's Joanna Page!
CHEERING
Oh, my God, I love it without the mask!
# I used to think maybe you loved me Now, baby, I'm sure
# And I just can't wait till the day When you knock on my door... #
You go, girl!
# I'm walking on sunshine, whoa
# And don't it feel good... #
# I feel a love, I feel a love I feel a love that's really real
# Walking on sunshine, baby, whoa
# I'm walking on sunshine, whoa
# And don't it feel good
# I'll stay it, say it Say it again now
# And don't it feel good? #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
That was extraordinary.
VOICEOVER: '..strut their stuff.
'And another top secret celebrity...'
No idea who it is.
'..is revealed.' That was out of this world!
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com