1
00:00:13,315 --> 00:00:15,395
ANNE: Is that you, Mark?
'Yeah, Mum, it's me.

2
00:00:15,435 --> 00:00:17,955
'You're not gonna believe
this. I'm sitting next to Dad!'

3
00:00:18,955 --> 00:00:20,075
He's alive!

4
00:00:21,074 --> 00:00:24,594
Mark, you have your father
back. I'm so happy for you.

5
00:00:24,634 --> 00:00:27,834
Would you mind? It's just a
thing we do with our clients.

6
00:00:28,914 --> 00:00:30,593
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

7
00:00:30,633 --> 00:00:33,273
OFFICER: John Darwin? I'm arresting
you on suspicion of fraud.

8
00:00:33,313 --> 00:00:34,353
This is ridiculous.

9
00:00:35,393 --> 00:00:36,593
'Since our dad was arrested,

10
00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:40,272
'we are very much in an angry
and confused state of mind.'

11
00:00:40,312 --> 00:00:44,192
The front cover of today's
Daily Mirror simply reads:

12
00:00:44,232 --> 00:00:46,712
"John never had amnesia."

13
00:00:48,111 --> 00:00:49,911
Firstly, I think you're
a good person who,

14
00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:52,111
for reasons that are
probably very complicated,

15
00:00:52,151 --> 00:00:53,471
did a truly dreadful thing.

16
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:54,911
Second, tell the
police the truth

17
00:00:54,951 --> 00:00:57,390
and start rebuilding your
relationship with your boys.

18
00:00:57,430 --> 00:01:00,390
Anne Darwin? I'm arresting
you on suspicion of fraud.

19
00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:02,310
We've not spoken to
either of our parents,

20
00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:07,869
and at this present time, we want
no further contact with them.

21
00:01:07,909 --> 00:01:09,989
JOURNALISTS YELL,
CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK

22
00:01:13,149 --> 00:01:17,868
'We've not spoken to either of our
parents, and at this present time,

23
00:01:17,908 --> 00:01:21,068
'we want no further
contact with them.'

24
00:01:43,465 --> 00:01:44,625
Anne. Hello.

25
00:01:45,985 --> 00:01:48,265
Hello, I'm Nicola.

26
00:01:48,305 --> 00:01:51,664
Hello, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.

27
00:01:52,624 --> 00:01:53,784
How long will I get?

28
00:01:54,904 --> 00:01:57,224
Do you think, in prison?
How long might I get?

29
00:01:59,464 --> 00:02:01,103
So, it's very simple.

30
00:02:01,143 --> 00:02:03,303
We stick her in one room,
stick him in another,

31
00:02:03,343 --> 00:02:04,783
and we play them off.

32
00:02:05,863 --> 00:02:09,662
Bottom line, Anne, the more
honest you are with us,

33
00:02:09,702 --> 00:02:13,382
the more information you can give us
about what actually happened here,

34
00:02:13,422 --> 00:02:16,302
the quicker we'll have
all this sorted. OK?

35
00:02:16,342 --> 00:02:18,341
Yes. Good.

36
00:02:18,381 --> 00:02:21,901
And so we are interviewing her at
the same time as speaking to you,

37
00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:25,181
which means any answers you give
us, we'll be checking with her

38
00:02:25,221 --> 00:02:27,380
to see if they tally
up and vice versa,

39
00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:28,420
does that make sense?

40
00:02:28,460 --> 00:02:29,780
Yes. Good.

41
00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:32,220
Although do bear in mind
that Anne does not have

42
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:35,060
a very sophisticated grasp
of financial matters.

43
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:38,059
Right. Just the one
brain cell, you see.

44
00:02:39,019 --> 00:02:40,859
Your wife of 34 years.

45
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,179
Tell me about it.

46
00:02:42,219 --> 00:02:44,379
Would you like me to
repeat the question, Anne?

47
00:02:45,618 --> 00:02:47,338
No, I heard the question.

48
00:02:52,978 --> 00:02:56,417
When I started the insurance claim,
I still believed him to be dead.

49
00:02:57,697 --> 00:02:59,457
You took quite a long
time to answer that.

50
00:02:59,497 --> 00:03:00,497
But she did.

51
00:03:00,537 --> 00:03:02,337
I'm just wondering
why you hesitated?

52
00:03:02,377 --> 00:03:04,536
She's answered the question.
Can you move on, please?

53
00:03:04,576 --> 00:03:06,696
Just remember, Anne,
this is your interview.

54
00:03:06,736 --> 00:03:09,576
This is your chance to tell
us your side of things.

55
00:03:14,015 --> 00:03:16,135
He turned up half way through.

56
00:03:16,175 --> 00:03:17,215
'It's not true.'

57
00:03:17,255 --> 00:03:19,095
I turned up after
they'd been paid out.

58
00:03:19,135 --> 00:03:21,534
I thought you said you couldn't
remember when you turned up.

59
00:03:21,574 --> 00:03:23,294
The specific month, I said.

60
00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:25,494
But you can
specifically remember

61
00:03:25,534 --> 00:03:27,414
that it was after the
claim was settled?

62
00:03:27,454 --> 00:03:28,934
Yes.

63
00:03:28,974 --> 00:03:32,333
Erm... Which month was
the claim settled, then?

64
00:03:36,413 --> 00:03:39,052
Ah. Nice try. I don't remember.

65
00:03:39,092 --> 00:03:41,092
This isn't the "yes,
no" game, John.

66
00:03:41,132 --> 00:03:44,132
Your wife has already told us
that you never had amnesia.

67
00:03:44,172 --> 00:03:46,732
She's mistaken. Perhaps
she's forgotten.

68
00:03:46,772 --> 00:03:50,251
Yes, he told me he'd
faked the whole thing.

69
00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:52,411
His disappearance? Yes.

70
00:03:52,451 --> 00:03:55,171
For financial reasons? Yeah.

71
00:03:57,130 --> 00:03:58,450
Did he tell you where he'd been?

72
00:04:00,170 --> 00:04:02,770
No. "Around and about," he said.

73
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:03,930
HE SCOFFS

74
00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:06,169
For over a year? Y-Yes.

75
00:04:07,969 --> 00:04:08,969
OK.

76
00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:13,489
But why didn't you go straight
to the police at that point?

77
00:04:14,808 --> 00:04:16,648
He said if we went to the police

78
00:04:17,848 --> 00:04:20,808
we'd have to pay the insurance
money back immediately,

79
00:04:20,848 --> 00:04:22,888
and then we'd be back
where we'd started.

80
00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:25,567
Facing bankruptcy? Yes.

81
00:04:27,847 --> 00:04:30,207
So what was his
plan at this point?

82
00:04:31,447 --> 00:04:34,806
For me to sell all the other
houses, and then hand himself in

83
00:04:34,846 --> 00:04:37,286
when we were in a position
to pay the money back.

84
00:04:37,326 --> 00:04:41,166
OK. And how's that plan going?
Well, I'm here, aren't I?

85
00:04:41,206 --> 00:04:44,525
I'm not with you. Why else
do you think I returned?

86
00:04:45,645 --> 00:04:47,845
I don't know, why did you?
To pay the money back.

87
00:04:47,885 --> 00:04:50,404
Oh, so you've made contact with
the insurance companies, then?

88
00:04:50,444 --> 00:04:52,724
Well, I would have, if
you hadn't arrested me.

89
00:04:52,764 --> 00:04:55,444
So it's our fault.
We spoilt your plan?

90
00:04:55,484 --> 00:04:56,644
You and the press.

91
00:04:56,684 --> 00:04:58,964
Ah, well, apologies. Accepted.

92
00:05:01,763 --> 00:05:03,523
Can I just ask, though, John,

93
00:05:03,563 --> 00:05:06,523
if your plan was to
sell all the properties,

94
00:05:06,563 --> 00:05:08,802
with the intention of
paying the money back

95
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:09,922
when you got straight

96
00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:12,842
why did you move to Panama?

97
00:05:16,602 --> 00:05:17,601
No comment.

98
00:05:18,801 --> 00:05:20,481
And buy a flat there?

99
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:23,081
No comment. And a plot of land?

100
00:05:24,761 --> 00:05:26,640
No comment.

101
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,040
Well, Anne, why did you
just go along with it?

102
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,280
Why didn't you tell him it
was wrong and dishonest?

103
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,840
I should have and.

104
00:05:36,479 --> 00:05:38,199
I should have told the
boys at that point,

105
00:05:38,239 --> 00:05:40,039
but he said if I
went to the police,

106
00:05:40,079 --> 00:05:42,839
he'd tell them I was
in it from the start.

107
00:05:42,879 --> 00:05:45,158
You were an adult.
You could've refused.

108
00:05:45,198 --> 00:05:48,318
And I bitterly regret
my decision, but

109
00:05:49,998 --> 00:05:52,198
he was hard to resist -
John was very forceful.

110
00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:59,437
Anne.

111
00:05:59,477 --> 00:06:01,357
Why...

112
00:06:02,636 --> 00:06:05,036
Why don't you just
tell us the truth?

113
00:06:08,276 --> 00:06:10,796
You were in on it from
the start, weren't you?

114
00:06:10,836 --> 00:06:13,555
She's answered the question.
Can you move on, please?

115
00:06:17,315 --> 00:06:20,394
So the, er, life insurance
policies that you took out

116
00:06:20,434 --> 00:06:22,714
just three months
before you went missing,

117
00:06:22,754 --> 00:06:24,834
is that date relevant, John?

118
00:06:24,874 --> 00:06:26,274
You tell me.

119
00:06:26,314 --> 00:06:28,594
No, you tell me.
That's how this works.

120
00:06:28,634 --> 00:06:30,153
Is that date relevant? No.

121
00:06:30,193 --> 00:06:33,353
No? So it's pure coincidence

122
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:37,313
that you took out a life
insurance policy in December 2001,

123
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,832
which then allowed your wife
to make a very large claim

124
00:06:39,872 --> 00:06:42,072
just 12 weeks later? Yes.

125
00:06:42,112 --> 00:06:44,552
Is it also a coincidence that
on a computer hard drive,

126
00:06:44,592 --> 00:06:46,952
taken from your house soon
after your disappearance,

127
00:06:46,992 --> 00:06:49,311
we've since found
a downloaded file

128
00:06:49,351 --> 00:06:52,391
titled "Missing Persons
and Police Investigations"?

129
00:06:55,071 --> 00:06:56,990
One of the boys must
have downloaded that.

130
00:06:57,030 --> 00:07:01,350
It was dated a month before
you went missing, John.

131
00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:05,189
Fair play.

132
00:07:06,389 --> 00:07:07,629
That's a tricky one.

133
00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:12,149
OK, I'm now showing
Anne Exhibit AB01,

134
00:07:12,189 --> 00:07:16,548
which is a copy of a library card,
registered at Hartlepool library,

135
00:07:16,588 --> 00:07:20,188
in the name of "John Jones".

136
00:07:20,228 --> 00:07:23,867
Anne, can you tell
me who you see

137
00:07:23,907 --> 00:07:25,187
on that photo?

138
00:07:26,587 --> 00:07:27,587
SOFTLY: It's John.

139
00:07:27,627 --> 00:07:30,307
Except this fella has a beard.

140
00:07:30,347 --> 00:07:33,146
I presume you can
grow a beard? Yes.

141
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,626
OK, so is that you,
but with a beard?

142
00:07:38,546 --> 00:07:39,826
Maybe.

143
00:07:39,866 --> 00:07:41,705
John, I'm asking if you
can identify yourself.

144
00:07:41,745 --> 00:07:44,585
No comment. OK, well

145
00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:46,665
perhaps you could read two
things out for me, then.

146
00:07:46,705 --> 00:07:49,305
The date it was issued
and the address.

147
00:07:51,744 --> 00:07:54,664
22nd of April 2002.

148
00:07:54,704 --> 00:08:01,223
Address, Number Four, The
Cliff, Seaton Carew. OK.

149
00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:04,583
So just four weeks
after you went missing,

150
00:08:04,623 --> 00:08:06,663
a man who looked
very much like you...

151
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:09,142
Ah, yeah, but with
a beard, yeah,

152
00:08:09,182 --> 00:08:12,342
applies for a library card
and gives your home address.

153
00:08:13,622 --> 00:08:15,902
But this man's
called John Jones!

154
00:08:17,421 --> 00:08:21,221
Come on, Anne, he was living at
number four from day one, wasn't he?

155
00:08:21,261 --> 00:08:23,541
No. And you knew from day one.

156
00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:25,221
I didn't.

157
00:08:25,261 --> 00:08:29,060
Were your boys in on it,
too? No, absolutely not.

158
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:32,180
Cos our economic crime unit is
finding all sorts of things.

159
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,740
What things? Money transfers
to Mark and Anthony,

160
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:37,619
fake property sales to Mark.

161
00:08:37,659 --> 00:08:40,739
Basically money laundering,
very serious of fence.

162
00:08:40,779 --> 00:08:42,579
That was just an
inheritance tax thing.

163
00:08:42,619 --> 00:08:45,698
Please, they never knew anything
about any of this, please.

164
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,698
It's interesting how
upset you're getting,

165
00:08:53,057 --> 00:08:56,577
and I tell you, I do not wanna
have to bring your lads in.

166
00:08:56,617 --> 00:08:58,137
Please don't.

167
00:08:58,177 --> 00:09:01,657
The best way to head that off is
for you tell us the whole truth.

168
00:09:01,697 --> 00:09:03,736
You were in on it from
the start, weren't you?

169
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:04,936
No.

170
00:09:04,976 --> 00:09:08,296
And you knew John was perfectly
fine when you dialled 999

171
00:09:08,336 --> 00:09:10,016
and said he was missing.

172
00:09:10,056 --> 00:09:13,855
In fact, I'm surprised the attending
officer didn't see wet footprints

173
00:09:13,895 --> 00:09:15,375
going up the stairs.

174
00:09:16,895 --> 00:09:18,015
Am I right?

175
00:09:22,334 --> 00:09:23,334
No comment.

176
00:09:24,454 --> 00:09:25,814
'Have a seat.'

177
00:09:31,853 --> 00:09:34,253
So, we need to have
a talk about bail.

178
00:09:34,293 --> 00:09:35,653
No. No bail.

179
00:09:38,052 --> 00:09:40,492
You do understand what
happens now, don't you, Anne?

180
00:09:40,532 --> 00:09:44,732
Anyone not released on
bail is kept in a prison,

181
00:09:44,772 --> 00:09:47,091
on remand, until their trial.

182
00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:50,811
Where would I even go?

183
00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:56,770
I only have one friend, and
she won't speak to me now.

184
00:09:56,810 --> 00:10:00,450
Obviously none of my family would
want me, so where would I even go?

185
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:05,369
DISTANT SIRENS WAIL

186
00:10:08,889 --> 00:10:10,209
OFFICER: Mind the step.

187
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,808
Take a seat here,
please. DOOR SLAMS.

188
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,006
Heya. Hey.

189
00:10:39,366 --> 00:10:40,925
It's all good,
no-one's followed me.

190
00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:43,965
I know you think I'm
overreacting but last night

191
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:48,125
there were about 50 of
them outside the house.

192
00:10:48,165 --> 00:10:49,924
Lou's had to go stay
with her parents.

193
00:10:49,964 --> 00:10:51,524
I've had to check in here.

194
00:10:51,564 --> 00:10:55,124
So I just spoke to
the police again. And?

195
00:10:55,164 --> 00:10:57,004
They'll want to interview
us at some point.

196
00:10:57,044 --> 00:10:58,723
As "witnesses", apparently, now.

197
00:10:58,763 --> 00:11:01,523
Well, we don't do anything
without a solicitor.

198
00:11:01,563 --> 00:11:03,243
I'll call my lawyer, shall I (?)

199
00:11:03,283 --> 00:11:05,283
Uncle Michael's sorting
us out with one.

200
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:07,882
How is he?

201
00:11:08,962 --> 00:11:10,042
Same as all of us.

202
00:11:12,362 --> 00:11:13,922
I just can't stop
thinking about the

203
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:19,601
literally hundreds of times
we went up there, Mark

204
00:11:21,401 --> 00:11:24,641
to keep her spirits up
whilst we were dying inside.

205
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,560
'Do you know how it
makes me feel, mate?'

206
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,920
Makes me really hate her.

207
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:35,159
I'm raging about them both, but
at least he only told one lie.

208
00:11:36,999 --> 00:11:38,279
An evil, horrible one,

209
00:11:39,879 --> 00:11:41,279
but it was just one.

210
00:11:41,319 --> 00:11:42,319
'Anne Darwin?'

211
00:11:42,359 --> 00:11:47,638
'She lied to us every day
for five-and-a-half years.

212
00:11:47,678 --> 00:11:49,638
'Every single day.'

213
00:11:49,678 --> 00:11:51,158
You start thinking,

214
00:11:51,198 --> 00:11:54,157
"Well, if she could lie
so easily about that,"

215
00:11:54,197 --> 00:11:56,437
"about our actual
dad being dead"

216
00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,397
"what else could she
have lied about?"

217
00:12:01,516 --> 00:12:02,796
OFFICER: Clothes in here.

218
00:12:03,876 --> 00:12:05,076
Put your wedding ring in here.

219
00:12:09,516 --> 00:12:13,435
And then I think, "Wow,
is it all just some"

220
00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:16,395
"fucked-up lie?"

221
00:12:18,395 --> 00:12:19,554
Our family

222
00:12:21,114 --> 00:12:22,474
our childhood

223
00:12:25,594 --> 00:12:27,554
our whole life with them?

224
00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:38,032
Did either of them ever
even genuinely love us?

225
00:12:38,072 --> 00:12:39,552
PRISONERS CHAT INDISTINCTLY

226
00:12:42,592 --> 00:12:43,792
So that's me.

227
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,671
That's where I am, mate.

228
00:12:49,911 --> 00:12:51,911
ANNE: 'And here I was.

229
00:12:51,951 --> 00:12:54,511
'Where I'd feared
ending up all my life.

230
00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:58,550
'Utterly alone.'

231
00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:00,870
DOOR BANGS

232
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:04,349
LATCH CLUNKS, KEYS JANGLE

233
00:13:04,389 --> 00:13:06,229
WOMEN SHOUT DISTANTLY

234
00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:24,747
'It's from John.'

235
00:13:24,787 --> 00:13:29,387
"Dear Dad, just to let you
know, please don't worry."

236
00:13:31,426 --> 00:13:32,586
Carry on.

237
00:13:34,706 --> 00:13:37,546
Sorry. That's it.

238
00:13:41,785 --> 00:13:44,225
JOHN ON PHONE: 'I really don't
think you've given any thought

239
00:13:44,265 --> 00:13:45,905
'as to what it's like for me.

240
00:13:45,945 --> 00:13:48,745
'An ex-prison officer in prison.

241
00:13:48,785 --> 00:13:52,224
'I've had my food spat in, I've
been punched, abused verbally.

242
00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:53,904
Whatever you think
it's like for you,

243
00:13:53,944 --> 00:13:56,184
it's so much worse for me.

244
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,823
'Except it wasn't.

245
00:13:58,863 --> 00:14:01,303
'John had already
given up his boys once,

246
00:14:01,343 --> 00:14:02,943
'without a second
thought, really.

247
00:14:02,983 --> 00:14:07,023
'For me, it felt like my
heart had been ripped out.'

248
00:14:08,702 --> 00:14:12,142
'My darling son, I
wanted to write you again

249
00:14:12,182 --> 00:14:16,261
'to tell you how profoundly
sorry I am for what I have done.

250
00:14:16,301 --> 00:14:19,301
'I will never be able
to explain my actions,

251
00:14:19,341 --> 00:14:21,901
'because what I did
was as inexplicable

252
00:14:21,941 --> 00:14:23,661
'as it was unforgiveable.

253
00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:29,980
'But what I can say is
that I love you so much.

254
00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:34,299
'I always have loved you,
and I always will love you,

255
00:14:34,339 --> 00:14:37,299
'even if you never
want to see me again.

256
00:14:37,339 --> 00:14:39,899
'Which I fully expect
to be the case.'

257
00:14:42,859 --> 00:14:43,898
HE SIGHS

258
00:14:56,457 --> 00:15:00,217
'And indeed, despite the dozens
of letters I wrote to them

259
00:15:00,257 --> 00:15:03,856
'over the next few
months, neither replied.

260
00:15:05,176 --> 00:15:06,936
'How could I
possibly blame them?

261
00:15:07,976 --> 00:15:09,256
'And so, finally

262
00:15:10,335 --> 00:15:14,415
'finally, I realised there
was only one way forward

263
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,175
'if I ever wanted
to see them again.'

264
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:20,534
'I lied.'

265
00:15:20,574 --> 00:15:23,334
I was in on it from
the very start.

266
00:15:25,774 --> 00:15:29,493
So you knew, before he
went out in the canoe,

267
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:31,773
that he intended to
fake his own death?

268
00:15:33,653 --> 00:15:35,013
Yes, I did.

269
00:15:35,053 --> 00:15:38,092
And when you reported him
missing? I knew he was fine.

270
00:15:38,132 --> 00:15:40,412
In fact, I'd picked him
up from North Gare beach

271
00:15:40,452 --> 00:15:41,772
about two hours before

272
00:15:41,812 --> 00:15:43,732
and then driven him
to Durham station,

273
00:15:43,772 --> 00:15:45,572
where he got the
train to the lakes

274
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,051
and camped by a stream
for the next three weeks.

275
00:15:48,091 --> 00:15:50,331
He then came back to Seaton

276
00:15:50,371 --> 00:15:54,531
and lived between numbers three
and four for the next five years.

277
00:15:55,930 --> 00:15:57,610
I never wanted to do any of it.

278
00:15:59,130 --> 00:16:02,570
And I tried constantly
to persuade him not to.

279
00:16:05,729 --> 00:16:07,249
But I did do it.

280
00:16:08,889 --> 00:16:10,249
I was in on it

281
00:16:11,489 --> 00:16:12,729
from the very beginning.

282
00:16:15,968 --> 00:16:17,808
And I'm very, very sorry.

283
00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:45,445
OK.

284
00:16:46,565 --> 00:16:47,805
Yes.

285
00:16:50,364 --> 00:16:51,764
I faked it all.

286
00:17:02,043 --> 00:17:03,443
DOOR CLANGS

287
00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:11,082
Oh, my God. John.

288
00:17:16,881 --> 00:17:19,321
HE BREATHES DEEPLY

289
00:17:19,361 --> 00:17:22,081
They said I could see you
for two minutes. Who did?

290
00:17:23,161 --> 00:17:24,161
J... please...

291
00:17:24,201 --> 00:17:26,960
Cos we're all we have
now, love. Each other...

292
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,840
John, someone could walk in...
We just have to stick together.

293
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,200
OFFICER: That's enough, fella.

294
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,879
Right, out, now!

295
00:17:38,999 --> 00:17:41,079
I also wanted to tell you

296
00:17:42,718 --> 00:17:45,118
that I forgive you, Anne.

297
00:17:45,158 --> 00:17:46,678
WHISPERING: I do.

298
00:17:56,197 --> 00:17:57,237
Call me, Anne!

299
00:17:58,757 --> 00:17:59,997
DOOR BANGS

300
00:18:11,835 --> 00:18:14,955
'Even harder than
confessing to the police

301
00:18:14,995 --> 00:18:18,994
'was telling my parents that the
daughter they had always adored

302
00:18:19,034 --> 00:18:23,154
'had betrayed every single
principle they had ever believed in.

303
00:18:24,634 --> 00:18:27,074
'I fully expected
them to disown me.

304
00:18:36,353 --> 00:18:37,432
'But I am guilty.'

305
00:18:39,032 --> 00:18:41,992
Well, that's what I'm saying, if
we can prove that you were coerced,

306
00:18:42,032 --> 00:18:43,432
then no, you're not.

307
00:18:44,512 --> 00:18:46,271
I didn't have to do anything.

308
00:18:46,311 --> 00:18:48,351
I was an adult, I
made my own choices.

309
00:18:48,391 --> 00:18:50,271
He never threatened
me or hurt me.

310
00:18:50,311 --> 00:18:53,071
Physically, no, but emotionally?

311
00:18:53,111 --> 00:18:55,670
Every day of your life
together, as I understand it,

312
00:18:55,710 --> 00:18:58,230
and I think I can argue that
that wears a person down,

313
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:00,590
day after day year after year,

314
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:02,950
till they no longer have
the strength to resist.

315
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:07,669
So what would I get? For
a guilty plea, I mean.

316
00:19:07,709 --> 00:19:10,709
Maybe... three years?

317
00:19:13,828 --> 00:19:18,188
Four, four-and-a-half if
you go not guilty and lose.

318
00:19:18,228 --> 00:19:20,908
Which I should stress
is entirely possible.

319
00:19:20,948 --> 00:19:22,347
It's a tough defence to prove.

320
00:19:24,147 --> 00:19:25,387
But if it succeeded?

321
00:19:27,547 --> 00:19:29,147
Well, then you'd walk free.

322
00:19:32,866 --> 00:19:35,946
'It was a horrible
decision to have to make.

323
00:19:35,986 --> 00:19:37,706
'And for many weeks,

324
00:19:37,746 --> 00:19:42,745
'I had absolutely no idea what
the right thing to do was.'

325
00:19:42,785 --> 00:19:44,625
WOMEN LAUGH

326
00:19:48,704 --> 00:19:51,264
ON PA SYSTEM: 'Officers
requested in rec area three.

327
00:19:51,304 --> 00:19:53,504
'Please report to
Officer Crenshaw.'

328
00:19:53,544 --> 00:19:56,104
'And then a few days
before my first hearing,

329
00:19:56,144 --> 00:19:58,183
'my parents came to see me.

330
00:19:59,463 --> 00:20:02,223
'These good, good people,

331
00:20:02,263 --> 00:20:06,263
'my flesh and blood who had
been so shamed and let down,

332
00:20:06,303 --> 00:20:10,622
'told me whatever I'd
done, they still loved me.

333
00:20:10,662 --> 00:20:12,982
'That they would
always love me.'

334
00:20:15,062 --> 00:20:18,181
I'm so scared my parents
will die before I get out.

335
00:20:20,381 --> 00:20:23,381
And I think, if I
could just see my boys

336
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,740
talk to them, maybe I could...

337
00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:32,300
And he did make me
do it, he really did.

338
00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:35,459
I... I tried to stop
him so many times.

339
00:20:35,499 --> 00:20:39,219
OK, well, the pre-trial
hearing is in three weeks.

340
00:20:40,459 --> 00:20:43,418
How do you want to plead?
I want to go not guilty.

341
00:20:56,417 --> 00:20:58,857
'And then, finally,
the day arrived.

342
00:20:58,897 --> 00:21:01,696
'I'm not sure what
I was most scared of

343
00:21:01,736 --> 00:21:06,576
'the trial itself or
seeing my boys in court.

344
00:21:06,616 --> 00:21:09,935
'A torment John avoided by
already pleading guilty.

345
00:21:12,975 --> 00:21:15,055
'I was on my own.'

346
00:21:15,455 --> 00:21:17,975
OFFICER: OK, Anne, it's time.

347
00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:21,374
BARRISTER: 'Members of the jury,
the defendant stands before you,

348
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:26,574
'charged with 15 counts of
deception and money laundering.

349
00:21:26,614 --> 00:21:30,573
'Mrs Darwin's defence is
one of marital coercion,

350
00:21:30,613 --> 00:21:33,933
'but, for this to
succeed, it must be shown

351
00:21:33,973 --> 00:21:38,412
'that her husband was present each
time an of fence was committed.

352
00:21:38,452 --> 00:21:39,812
'It is the Crown's submission

353
00:21:39,852 --> 00:21:43,212
'that not only was her husband
very often not present,

354
00:21:43,252 --> 00:21:46,131
'but that over a period
of five-and-a-half years,

355
00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:50,051
'and with multiple
opportunities to end the deceit,

356
00:21:50,091 --> 00:21:54,330
'she in fact repeatedly offended

357
00:21:54,370 --> 00:21:58,490
'willingly, individually
and actively.'

358
00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:02,050
'We will furthermore show

359
00:22:02,090 --> 00:22:05,849
'that, far from being a
submissive and coerced wife,

360
00:22:05,889 --> 00:22:10,329
'Mrs Darwin was in fact a
clever and ingenious liar

361
00:22:10,369 --> 00:22:13,008
'who was able to
effortlessly deceive

362
00:22:13,048 --> 00:22:15,248
'on an almost industrial scale.

363
00:22:15,288 --> 00:22:18,368
'To the police, to
the Coroner's Court,

364
00:22:18,408 --> 00:22:20,088
'to her work friends
and colleagues

365
00:22:20,128 --> 00:22:24,287
'and, perhaps most shamefully,
to her own children.'

366
00:22:24,327 --> 00:22:25,687
All rise.

367
00:22:25,727 --> 00:22:27,447
And lastly, members of the jury,

368
00:22:27,487 --> 00:22:30,246
as sons, daughters,
mothers yourself,

369
00:22:30,286 --> 00:22:33,566
I will ask you, when you
look at that infamous photo

370
00:22:33,606 --> 00:22:35,886
in a Panamanian estate agent,

371
00:22:35,926 --> 00:22:38,406
if you see a terrified woman,

372
00:22:38,446 --> 00:22:42,245
coerced in to telling her
children their father was dead,

373
00:22:42,285 --> 00:22:46,445
or if you see a
devious and wily woman,

374
00:22:46,485 --> 00:22:49,524
smiling at the
prospect of a new life

375
00:22:49,564 --> 00:22:51,164
in a tropical paradise,

376
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:54,844
paid for with the fruits
of her dreadful fraud.

377
00:22:56,004 --> 00:22:57,523
It crushed my world.

378
00:22:58,683 --> 00:23:00,643
Of course it did.

379
00:23:00,683 --> 00:23:03,123
I loved him. He was...
He was a great dad.

380
00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:07,082
Crushed my entire world.

381
00:23:07,122 --> 00:23:10,522
'It might have appeared like I
took control, but I didn't really.'

382
00:23:10,562 --> 00:23:14,242
It was only ever within the confines
of what he ultimately wanted.

383
00:23:15,841 --> 00:23:17,881
Are you a good liar, Mrs Darwin?

384
00:23:17,921 --> 00:23:20,601
I hope not. Well, did
you convince your sons

385
00:23:20,641 --> 00:23:22,721
for five-and-a-half years
their father was dead?

386
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,240
Yes. And the police?

387
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,640
Yes. And the coroner?

388
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,640
So, you are telling
the court, on oath,

389
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,959
that he forged your signature?

390
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,359
He made a footer template
of it on his computer.

391
00:23:37,399 --> 00:23:42,038
So any letter, any instruction
to a bank or lawyer or whoever,

392
00:23:42,078 --> 00:23:43,638
he could write it

393
00:23:43,678 --> 00:23:46,158
and it would appear
to be from you? Yes.

394
00:23:46,198 --> 00:23:48,358
So, you had no idea at all?

395
00:23:48,398 --> 00:23:50,678
She told me it was to
do with inheritance tax.

396
00:23:50,718 --> 00:23:52,557
And you believed her?

397
00:23:54,317 --> 00:23:55,637
She was my mother.

398
00:23:56,797 --> 00:23:59,397
And was money
important to him? Yes.

399
00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:01,476
And the appearance of it? Maybe.

400
00:24:01,516 --> 00:24:03,116
And your mother?

401
00:24:03,156 --> 00:24:05,836
Er... I'd always
thought the opposite.

402
00:24:05,876 --> 00:24:09,275
"I cannot wait to
join you, my darling.

403
00:24:09,315 --> 00:24:12,355
"Missing you so much."

404
00:24:12,395 --> 00:24:14,275
"All my love."

405
00:24:14,315 --> 00:24:16,875
"Kiss, kiss, kiss."

406
00:24:16,915 --> 00:24:18,754
Who wrote that?

407
00:24:20,514 --> 00:24:21,834
I did.

408
00:24:24,554 --> 00:24:27,913
"Generally, I only ever
take her out to vote."

409
00:24:27,953 --> 00:24:30,153
He actually said that? Yes.

410
00:24:30,193 --> 00:24:32,393
To a friend of his
in front of you?

411
00:24:32,433 --> 00:24:35,713
Yes. I think he
thought it was funny.

412
00:24:35,752 --> 00:24:38,152
Angry, betrayed

413
00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:41,312
stupid.

414
00:24:41,352 --> 00:24:43,792
I felt all of that.

415
00:24:43,832 --> 00:24:48,231
I still do. Every single day,
I... still have very negative...

416
00:24:48,271 --> 00:24:50,991
Where was John when you
roped your unwitting children

417
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,511
into laundering money for you?

418
00:24:52,551 --> 00:24:55,030
He was in Panama.

419
00:24:55,070 --> 00:24:58,150
My point is that he
wasn't standing over you

420
00:24:58,190 --> 00:24:59,630
as you spoke to the bank,

421
00:24:59,670 --> 00:25:02,510
forcing you to commit
a criminal act, was he?

422
00:25:02,550 --> 00:25:05,949
He didn't need to
actually be in the room.

423
00:25:05,989 --> 00:25:09,549
He was on the end of an email,
or phone, or just in my head.

424
00:25:10,869 --> 00:25:12,708
You can fight your
corner, can't you?

425
00:25:12,748 --> 00:25:13,828
I can now.

426
00:25:13,868 --> 00:25:15,788
Under immense pressure,
in a public trial.

427
00:25:15,828 --> 00:25:20,228
But not, apparently, at home
with your non-violent husband.

428
00:25:22,107 --> 00:25:23,387
You don't know what to think.

429
00:25:23,427 --> 00:25:26,507
I mean, it took me a long time to
even believe the photo was real,

430
00:25:26,547 --> 00:25:29,587
that any parent could
have done such a thing.

431
00:25:29,626 --> 00:25:32,346
It took me a long
time to accept that.

432
00:25:32,386 --> 00:25:35,586
I'm not even sure I
have. Maybe I never will.

433
00:25:35,626 --> 00:25:38,985
Can I ask, why didn't
you just leave him?

434
00:25:39,025 --> 00:25:42,785
This man you claim was
an oppressive bully.

435
00:25:44,465 --> 00:25:46,745
I wanted to keep
the family together.

436
00:25:48,384 --> 00:25:50,784
You "wanted to keep
the family together"?

437
00:25:50,824 --> 00:25:53,424
Oh, the irony, Mrs Darwin.

438
00:25:54,704 --> 00:25:56,064
And let me ask you this.

439
00:25:56,104 --> 00:25:59,383
If you hadn't have picked
John up from North Gare,

440
00:25:59,423 --> 00:26:01,463
if you'd have said
to him on the phone,

441
00:26:01,503 --> 00:26:04,783
"Oh, I can't go through with this,"
or, "I'm not doing this to my boys,"

442
00:26:04,823 --> 00:26:07,862
what were you frightened
was going to happen to you

443
00:26:07,902 --> 00:26:09,502
for disobeying his request?

444
00:26:09,542 --> 00:26:11,302
Was he going to beat you up? No.

445
00:26:11,342 --> 00:26:14,262
Were you scared that
when he got home,

446
00:26:14,302 --> 00:26:17,181
he might manipulate you a bit?

447
00:26:21,501 --> 00:26:24,420
I was frightened that
he might leave me.

448
00:26:28,180 --> 00:26:33,059
'The jury took less than four
hours to reach a verdict.'

449
00:26:33,099 --> 00:26:36,379
I accept that your
husband, John Darwin,

450
00:26:36,419 --> 00:26:38,339
was the driving force
behind this deceit,

451
00:26:38,379 --> 00:26:42,418
but you, Anne, although
perhaps initially unconvinced,

452
00:26:42,458 --> 00:26:47,018
went on to contribute to its success
and play your part very efficiently.

453
00:26:47,058 --> 00:26:50,298
In my judgment, you
operated as a team,

454
00:26:50,338 --> 00:26:53,057
each adding something
to the joint venture.

455
00:26:53,097 --> 00:26:55,657
And it is the duration
of the offending,

456
00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:57,377
its multi-faceted nature,

457
00:26:57,417 --> 00:27:01,216
and, in particular, the grief
inflicted over the years

458
00:27:01,256 --> 00:27:04,696
to the real victims,
your own children,

459
00:27:04,736 --> 00:27:09,575
that make this a case that merits
a particularly severe sentence.

460
00:27:09,615 --> 00:27:11,495
Anne Catherine Darwin,

461
00:27:11,535 --> 00:27:15,575
I sentence you to a term of
six years and six months.

462
00:27:15,615 --> 00:27:17,095
Take her down.

463
00:27:22,574 --> 00:27:25,774
'It was three months
longer than John got,

464
00:27:25,814 --> 00:27:28,413
'but then I was their mother.

465
00:27:28,453 --> 00:27:32,133
'I think most people felt
I'd got what I deserved.'

466
00:27:36,172 --> 00:27:38,252
DOOR CLANGING SHUT

467
00:27:40,412 --> 00:27:42,412
'And so it began.

468
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:46,651
'Six years and six
months, minus parole.

469
00:27:46,691 --> 00:27:48,971
'I tried to keep busy.

470
00:27:49,011 --> 00:27:50,771
'Keep myself distracted.

471
00:27:52,251 --> 00:27:58,170
'I continued to write to the boys,
never really expecting a reply.

472
00:27:58,210 --> 00:28:01,410
'And John continued
to write and call.'

473
00:28:01,450 --> 00:28:04,129
Look, money's not going
to be an issue, love.

474
00:28:04,169 --> 00:28:07,129
Trust me. Our story sells.

475
00:28:07,169 --> 00:28:10,889
'And I wanted to cut him off,
I really did, but it was hard.

476
00:28:12,088 --> 00:28:16,168
'After 35 years, and with
nothing else in my life,

477
00:28:16,208 --> 00:28:19,768
'even about a bad future felt
better than none whatsoever.'

478
00:28:19,808 --> 00:28:21,207
Fear not.

479
00:28:21,247 --> 00:28:26,447
We play our cards right, we
are going to be sitting pretty.

480
00:28:31,926 --> 00:28:34,806
'And then eight months
into my time inside,

481
00:28:34,846 --> 00:28:38,725
'the prison chaplain suggested
I speak to a counsellor

482
00:28:38,765 --> 00:28:41,765
'because I could not rid
myself of thoughts of death.'

483
00:28:46,365 --> 00:28:48,964
GRACE: 'What would you like
to get from these sessions?'

484
00:28:49,004 --> 00:28:52,844
I suppose to wake up every day not
hating myself would be a start.

485
00:28:54,004 --> 00:28:55,964
And how do you think you
could get to that place?

486
00:28:59,283 --> 00:29:01,083
Through my family.

487
00:29:02,363 --> 00:29:03,883
My children.

488
00:29:05,482 --> 00:29:08,842
By somehow showing them
that this is not who I am,

489
00:29:08,882 --> 00:29:12,442
that I did a terrible,
terrible thing, but...

490
00:29:12,482 --> 00:29:15,801
I don't think that
I'm a terrible person.

491
00:29:19,481 --> 00:29:21,441
I don't expect forgiveness.

492
00:29:21,481 --> 00:29:25,840
I never expected to be forgiven.
I just ask for second chance.

493
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:30,760
To show them that... I could
be a good mother again.

494
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:35,039
Be the person I used to
be, or should have been.

495
00:29:35,079 --> 00:29:36,799
Could may be even still.

496
00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:39,639
And who was that?

497
00:29:42,078 --> 00:29:44,118
She was kind, I think.

498
00:29:46,198 --> 00:29:47,718
And loving.

499
00:29:49,518 --> 00:29:53,317
With conscience. She
knew right from wrong.

500
00:29:57,237 --> 00:29:59,236
And she didn't want much.

501
00:30:00,876 --> 00:30:04,476
A happy family, enough
money to pay the bills.

502
00:30:06,476 --> 00:30:08,035
A simple life.

503
00:30:09,755 --> 00:30:13,035
So, how do you get back to her?

504
00:30:16,675 --> 00:30:18,754
I don't know.

505
00:30:18,794 --> 00:30:21,274
OK, mate. You take care.

506
00:30:22,954 --> 00:30:24,594
How is he?

507
00:30:25,874 --> 00:30:26,953
Angry.

508
00:30:29,233 --> 00:30:30,593
Sad.

509
00:30:32,433 --> 00:30:35,712
Laughing about it,
and then... crying.

510
00:30:38,192 --> 00:30:39,752
Fucked up, basically.

511
00:30:43,072 --> 00:30:44,191
And you?

512
00:30:46,111 --> 00:30:48,831
It just feels like
they're both dead.

513
00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:55,070
I'm not sure I can bear that.

514
00:30:56,350 --> 00:30:58,390
'I was never a
confident person.'

515
00:30:59,790 --> 00:31:04,069
When I look back... my
first encounter with him,

516
00:31:04,109 --> 00:31:07,869
John... was when I
was 14 on the bus.

517
00:31:09,149 --> 00:31:11,668
And he knocked my
school hat off.

518
00:31:17,388 --> 00:31:19,708
It was just a silly joke, and.

519
00:31:21,027 --> 00:31:25,147
I'm sure he didn't mean to,
but... he made me feel stupid.

520
00:31:27,387 --> 00:31:29,026
More stupid.

521
00:31:30,466 --> 00:31:34,026
I was already very aware I
wasn't academic, like him.

522
00:31:35,346 --> 00:31:37,106
But

523
00:31:37,146 --> 00:31:42,385
maybe that set the
tone, as it were.

524
00:31:44,385 --> 00:31:47,544
Because he was the
only boy I ever...

525
00:31:51,384 --> 00:31:53,704
And I went straight
from my parents' house

526
00:31:53,744 --> 00:31:56,263
to living with him after
we got married, so.

527
00:31:57,503 --> 00:32:00,023
I never knew anything but him.

528
00:32:00,063 --> 00:32:04,143
How he spoke to me...
how he regarded me.

529
00:32:06,062 --> 00:32:09,902
And I think that's
been quite a thing,

530
00:32:12,982 --> 00:32:15,341
for the last 35 years.

531
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:30,220
Anne?

532
00:32:31,620 --> 00:32:33,259
Hope it's good news.

533
00:32:33,299 --> 00:32:34,699
Thank you.

534
00:32:44,018 --> 00:32:46,258
'Dear Mum, I hope you are well

535
00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:49,218
'and not finding
things too difficult.

536
00:32:49,258 --> 00:32:52,457
'We are all still trying to
adjust to what has happened,

537
00:32:52,497 --> 00:32:54,617
'which has not been easy.

538
00:32:54,657 --> 00:32:56,817
'But I would like
to come and see you,

539
00:32:56,857 --> 00:32:59,416
'so I'll send a request today.

540
00:32:59,456 --> 00:33:02,256
'Take care of yourself. Mark.'

541
00:33:02,296 --> 00:33:04,816
SHE SOBS

542
00:33:07,016 --> 00:33:08,495
I'm just not there.

543
00:33:09,535 --> 00:33:11,935
You don't have to apologise.

544
00:33:13,295 --> 00:33:14,415
HE SIGHS

545
00:33:15,735 --> 00:33:19,094
Maybe it's the baby,
just... HE EXHALES SHARPLY

546
00:33:19,134 --> 00:33:21,574
knowing I could never
do anything to hurt him.

547
00:33:25,014 --> 00:33:27,413
But either way,
I'm just not there.

548
00:33:35,812 --> 00:33:38,252
PEOPLE CHATTERING

549
00:34:12,048 --> 00:34:14,128
Mum?

550
00:34:35,006 --> 00:34:37,525
We didn't even know
until the trial

551
00:34:37,565 --> 00:34:39,525
that you'd been in
on it from the start.

552
00:34:40,925 --> 00:34:42,485
That when you hugged me

553
00:34:43,765 --> 00:34:45,205
that first night I came up

554
00:34:46,524 --> 00:34:47,764
you knew!

555
00:34:47,804 --> 00:34:49,684
I'm so sorry.

556
00:34:50,884 --> 00:34:53,204
Everything we found out, you
made us find out in public.

557
00:34:54,564 --> 00:34:56,843
Online, newspapers.

558
00:34:56,883 --> 00:34:59,123
In a bloody court room, Mam!

559
00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:01,203
And there is no excuse.

560
00:35:01,243 --> 00:35:03,043
A reason'd help.

561
00:35:03,083 --> 00:35:05,522
Why, after everything you'd
done, you still kept lying.

562
00:35:05,562 --> 00:35:09,162
For the same reason I ever
did, Mark, just the shame.

563
00:35:09,202 --> 00:35:11,882
The terrible, terrible
guilt and shame I felt.

564
00:35:11,922 --> 00:35:13,002
So it was about you, is it?

565
00:35:13,042 --> 00:35:15,041
H-How telling the truth
would make YOU feel?

566
00:35:15,081 --> 00:35:17,681
I knew it would break
your hearts, love.

567
00:35:17,721 --> 00:35:20,361
No, no, no, no. No!
No! You don't...

568
00:35:20,401 --> 00:35:22,720
Don't you dare cry! I'm sorry.

569
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,920
And I just kept thinking,
hoping, praying,

570
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,120
all along that there would
be some way I could fix it

571
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,519
before that had to happen,
but there just never was.

572
00:35:31,559 --> 00:35:33,999
No, you were probably
too preoccupied

573
00:35:34,039 --> 00:35:35,919
drinking pina
coladas on the beach!

574
00:35:56,557 --> 00:35:58,916
GRACE: 'What did you expect?'

575
00:35:58,956 --> 00:36:01,956
No more than what I got.

576
00:36:01,996 --> 00:36:05,236
ANNE SNIFFLES But I suppose...

577
00:36:05,276 --> 00:36:08,635
I thought I might be left
feeling a tiny scrap of hope.

578
00:36:08,675 --> 00:36:12,595
And again, I know I
don't deserve that, but

579
00:36:12,635 --> 00:36:14,995
it doesn't stop me
yearning for it.

580
00:36:15,035 --> 00:36:16,354
SHE SNIFFLES

581
00:36:17,914 --> 00:36:19,914
It's been so long.

582
00:36:21,434 --> 00:36:23,714
DOOR BUZZES Am I sorry?

583
00:36:24,914 --> 00:36:28,153
Well, that I got
caught, yes. Very!

584
00:36:33,113 --> 00:36:36,992
But seriously, of
course, if what I did

585
00:36:38,112 --> 00:36:40,512
upset you, then yes.

586
00:36:40,552 --> 00:36:42,592
Of course I'm sorry.

587
00:36:45,351 --> 00:36:47,191
Tell me about the
American woman.

588
00:36:48,551 --> 00:36:50,391
And all the others
you've been writing

589
00:36:50,431 --> 00:36:51,951
your shabby little letters to.

590
00:37:02,749 --> 00:37:04,669
'I know what should
be the first step.'

591
00:37:04,709 --> 00:37:05,989
"Should"?

592
00:37:06,029 --> 00:37:09,469
Well, because whether I could
actually do it not, I don't know.

593
00:37:09,509 --> 00:37:12,108
And what are we talking about?

594
00:37:13,828 --> 00:37:15,548
Leaving him.

595
00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:18,548
OK.

596
00:37:18,588 --> 00:37:22,107
And why might you not
be able to do that?

597
00:37:22,147 --> 00:37:24,187
I find the idea petrifying.

598
00:37:26,267 --> 00:37:29,586
Despite all the wrongs
you feel he's done you?

599
00:37:29,626 --> 00:37:31,026
Yes.

600
00:37:31,066 --> 00:37:35,786
And what specifically is
it that you're scared of?

601
00:37:36,826 --> 00:37:38,305
Everything.

602
00:37:40,865 --> 00:37:44,105
I've never lived any part
of my life on my own.

603
00:37:44,145 --> 00:37:48,424
I wouldn't know how to even
be, who I even am. I mean,

604
00:37:50,024 --> 00:37:52,064
for my entire adult life,

605
00:37:52,104 --> 00:37:54,504
I've just been an
extension of him, really.

606
00:37:55,623 --> 00:37:58,623
Or not even that,
just a nothing.

607
00:37:58,663 --> 00:37:59,863
Invisible.

608
00:38:01,103 --> 00:38:03,943
And so starting
again, from scratch

609
00:38:05,502 --> 00:38:09,422
trying to create a new me
at the age of nearly 60

610
00:38:10,902 --> 00:38:13,141
it makes me sick
with fear, Grace.

611
00:38:14,781 --> 00:38:17,701
Slightly different tack.
Does John make you happy?

612
00:38:17,741 --> 00:38:19,661
He has done at
times in our life.

613
00:38:19,701 --> 00:38:21,461
I'm not happy now, obviously,

614
00:38:21,501 --> 00:38:23,900
and haven't been much in
the last ten years or so,

615
00:38:23,940 --> 00:38:25,580
but before that, yes.

616
00:38:25,620 --> 00:38:29,340
But on balance? Would you
say he's been good for you?

617
00:38:35,659 --> 00:38:37,659
He gave me two beautiful sons.

618
00:38:38,939 --> 00:38:43,298
'I knew what she wanted me to say,
but as ridiculous as it may seem.

619
00:38:44,538 --> 00:38:47,378
'I just didn't feel strong
enough to be on my own.'

620
00:38:51,297 --> 00:38:54,657
He's beautiful, mate.
Must have Lou's genes.

621
00:38:54,697 --> 00:38:57,097
Well, I bloody hope so.

622
00:38:57,137 --> 00:38:59,456
Wouldn't want too many
of our side in there.

623
00:39:01,056 --> 00:39:03,016
No, fair enough.

624
00:39:06,576 --> 00:39:09,375
Flick was just saying you
saw her again last week.

625
00:39:10,655 --> 00:39:11,855
Yeah.

626
00:39:14,415 --> 00:39:16,174
And how was it?

627
00:39:18,014 --> 00:39:19,414
It's still hard.

628
00:39:21,014 --> 00:39:23,414
I'm not quite sure
what I'm hoping for.

629
00:39:24,734 --> 00:39:26,173
I think...

630
00:39:28,693 --> 00:39:30,573
I think I've just
come to the conclusion

631
00:39:30,613 --> 00:39:32,853
that I'd prefer to have
her in my life than not.

632
00:39:36,972 --> 00:39:38,492
Dad?

633
00:39:40,492 --> 00:39:42,092
Harder.

634
00:39:44,291 --> 00:39:46,131
I'm not sure he really gets it.

635
00:39:47,211 --> 00:39:48,731
Or ever will.

636
00:39:52,330 --> 00:39:55,250
So, I wrote to her yesterday.

637
00:39:58,370 --> 00:39:59,970
Requested a visit.

638
00:40:01,849 --> 00:40:03,049
OK.

639
00:40:06,169 --> 00:40:09,529
So... all I'll say

640
00:40:13,088 --> 00:40:17,528
just don't expect any...
blinding moment of forgiveness.

641
00:40:17,568 --> 00:40:19,367
Cos my guess is that
ain't gonna happen.

642
00:40:21,687 --> 00:40:25,007
I think it's just gonna
be this very long, slow

643
00:40:27,647 --> 00:40:29,366
accommodation.

644
00:40:35,486 --> 00:40:37,085
DOOR CLOSING

645
00:40:58,203 --> 00:40:59,363
Hello, Mam.

646
00:40:59,403 --> 00:41:01,283
Hello, love. Thank
you so much coming.

647
00:41:01,323 --> 00:41:02,603
I'm so pleased to see you.

648
00:41:02,643 --> 00:41:05,442
Well, I couldn't not let you
meet this little fella, could I?

649
00:41:12,122 --> 00:41:14,561
I don't know what to
say. How old is he?

650
00:41:14,601 --> 00:41:16,281
He's four months now.

651
00:41:16,321 --> 00:41:18,601
He's beautiful.

652
00:41:18,641 --> 00:41:20,801
He takes after his mother.

653
00:41:20,841 --> 00:41:24,040
Who asked me to say hello and
that she sends you her love.

654
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,560
That's incredibly kind of her.

655
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,560
Please send her my love
and huge congratulations.

656
00:41:31,679 --> 00:41:33,679
Would you like to hold him?

657
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:35,239
I would, very much.

658
00:41:54,757 --> 00:41:56,357
BABY FUSSES

659
00:41:56,397 --> 00:41:58,196
Aw...

660
00:41:58,236 --> 00:42:00,676
'It was an extraordinary
act of generosity

661
00:42:02,036 --> 00:42:04,436
'that I didn't deserve.

662
00:42:04,476 --> 00:42:06,316
'And it finally
gave me the strength

663
00:42:06,356 --> 00:42:09,595
'to do what I had needed
to do for so long.'

664
00:42:09,635 --> 00:42:11,075
BABY BABBLES, SHE LAUGHS

665
00:42:13,995 --> 00:42:15,674
PHONE RINGS

666
00:42:17,834 --> 00:42:18,914
Hello?

667
00:42:18,954 --> 00:42:20,794
What the hell's going on?

668
00:42:20,834 --> 00:42:23,874
You've stopped writing. You
haven't been taking my calls.

669
00:42:23,914 --> 00:42:25,433
Why?

670
00:42:25,473 --> 00:42:27,353
You don't make me happy, John.

671
00:42:28,433 --> 00:42:31,193
I think you haven't
for many years.

672
00:42:31,233 --> 00:42:32,633
You don't hear me.

673
00:42:32,673 --> 00:42:35,472
'You don't listen to me...'
That is total rubbish, Anne.

674
00:42:35,512 --> 00:42:37,872
'You don't know what you're...'
You're not listening now.

675
00:42:37,912 --> 00:42:41,672
Just stop talking, please. Just
stop always talking and listen.

676
00:42:42,711 --> 00:42:45,391
But much more important
than any of that,

677
00:42:45,431 --> 00:42:48,471
I don't think you love me, John.

678
00:42:48,511 --> 00:42:50,071
I do.

679
00:42:50,111 --> 00:42:52,590
I do love you, Anne, very much.

680
00:42:53,950 --> 00:42:56,550
Or why would I have stayed
with you for all these years?

681
00:42:58,790 --> 00:43:00,869
'Don't do this.'

682
00:43:00,909 --> 00:43:04,789
Don't throw 36 years and
two smashing boys away.

683
00:43:04,829 --> 00:43:07,549
'We can be happy again.'

684
00:43:07,589 --> 00:43:09,548
I promise we can.

685
00:43:09,588 --> 00:43:11,868
No.

686
00:43:11,908 --> 00:43:14,708
I don't think you do love me.

687
00:43:14,748 --> 00:43:18,387
Or maybe you just don't
know what proper love is.

688
00:43:18,427 --> 00:43:20,027
Please.

689
00:43:20,067 --> 00:43:24,307
And either way... I
don't love you any more.

690
00:43:24,347 --> 00:43:26,027
You've hurt me too much.

691
00:43:26,067 --> 00:43:28,706
You do love me. 'No.'

692
00:43:31,146 --> 00:43:34,586
No, I don't. And
I want a divorce.

693
00:43:54,903 --> 00:43:58,063
'About eight months
before my release,

694
00:43:58,103 --> 00:44:00,543
'I was transferred
to an open prison

695
00:44:00,583 --> 00:44:03,942
'to help prepare me for
my return to normal life.

696
00:44:05,582 --> 00:44:11,382
'And then in March 2011, a
few days shy of nine years

697
00:44:11,422 --> 00:44:14,581
'since John had
paddled out to sea,

698
00:44:14,621 --> 00:44:17,941
'I was released to a
halfway house in Leeds.

699
00:44:23,340 --> 00:44:25,340
'I was finally free.

700
00:44:32,619 --> 00:44:35,699
'I'm not sure I'll
ever truly understand

701
00:44:35,739 --> 00:44:37,939
'why I made the choices I did.

702
00:44:37,979 --> 00:44:42,378
'It was, as my counsellor
said, complicated.

703
00:44:44,138 --> 00:44:45,898
'My children still struggle

704
00:44:45,938 --> 00:44:49,377
'and will certainly never be able
to forget what I did to them,

705
00:44:49,417 --> 00:44:50,777
'nor should they.

706
00:44:52,057 --> 00:44:54,097
'We all know we're on a journey

707
00:44:54,137 --> 00:44:56,377
'that will last the
rest of our lives,

708
00:44:58,016 --> 00:45:00,376
'but we are at least
on that journey.

709
00:45:01,696 --> 00:45:03,976
'And for that gift,

710
00:45:04,016 --> 00:45:06,655
'I remain more grateful to them

711
00:45:06,695 --> 00:45:09,735
'than it will ever be
possible to express.

712
00:45:16,174 --> 00:45:21,214
'They say the opposite of love
is not hate, but indifference,

713
00:45:21,254 --> 00:45:24,413
'which is what I now
feel for my ex-husband.

714
00:45:28,413 --> 00:45:30,773
'But I wish him well

715
00:45:30,813 --> 00:45:33,252
'and sincerely hope
that he finds happiness.

716
00:45:35,172 --> 00:45:36,852
'I will try to do the same.

717
00:45:38,892 --> 00:45:43,131
'I will also keep
trying to find me.'

718
00:46:20,527 --> 00:46:22,527
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