1
00:00:01,218 --> 00:00:04,308
Aardvark. Armadillo.
2
00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:06,658
Ant. Anteater.
3
00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,660
Now that I'm doing
my fellowship at the district,
4
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,227
there's a rotation
of substitutes
5
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:13,100
who are teaching my class
while I'm gone.
6
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,711
I like to pop by
and see how they're doing
7
00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:17,756
whenever I happen
to be at Abbott.
8
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:20,063
Just some quick,
light-touch check-ins,
9
00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,934
you know, just to show support.
10
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,501
They hardly even know I'm here.
[ Chuckles ]
11
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:30,465
Jessca: Alpaca. Alligator.
12
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:33,033
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
13
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:41,128
♪
14
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:45,610
Kids: ♪ I'm a little teapot,
short and stout ♪
15
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My kids are so bored,
they're moshing to
16
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,962
"I'm a Little Teapot."
When can we go back in?
17
00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,095
♪ When I get all steamed up,
hear me shout ♪
18
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,315
[ Scoffs, clicks tongue ]♪ Tip me over and pour me out ♪
19
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,534
And what you tsk'ing at,
Tsk'in' Teagues?
20
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Ugh, just-- I mean,
look-- look at this.
21
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,843
My kids are just meandering.
You know what I mean?
22
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,454
You know, she's not even using
the buddy system. I-- Mm...
23
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:05,021
What even
set off the alarm?
24
00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,892
Don't look at me.
25
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:09,330
Church or home are the only
places my candles are lit.
26
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:12,072
What's not lit
is another call from Abbott.
27
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,769
At least it's not
a full fire this time.
28
00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,205
- Mm.
- Just some smoke.
29
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,685
Seems like someone
lit a cigarette
30
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:17,816
- in one of the boys' bathrooms.
- What?!
31
00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,340
- Cigarette?
- What?
32
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,993
Seriously, who still
smokes cigarettes?
33
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,604
Single dads, criminals...
34
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,345
Morton. Where is he?
35
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,608
Probably lightin' up in
a back alley behind a Dumpster.
36
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:29,045
Scumbag.
37
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,916
We got him.
Melissa sniffed him out.
38
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:34,877
Oh, yeah. You got menthols,
you can run, but you can't hide.
39
00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:37,314
One whiff,
and I am 14 again...
40
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,403
thinkin' I'm gonna wait
a couple years
41
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,797
before I try one of these.
42
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:44,016
That would only make you 16.
43
00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,844
Smell always
reminds me of my uncle.
44
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:48,456
Oh, my aunt used
to sit in a chair with a cig
45
00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:51,067
and a glass of Pinot Grig and
recount "Moonlighting" to me.
46
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,938
Yeah, my uncle used
to do the same thing,
47
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,027
except it was scotch and the
Phillies game the night before.
48
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,464
Mm.
49
00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:57,813
Childhood.
Childhood.
50
00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,123
- Nah, but this is a real problem.
- Gregory: Mm-hmm.
51
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,602
- Janine: Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, absolutely.
52
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,213
Where did you
even get a cigarette?
53
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,997
Yeah, what you,
a French child?
54
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,781
The guy around the corner
sold it to me for a dollar.
55
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,870
A dollar?
Inflation is crazy.
56
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:14,525
But you are in big trouble,
because cigarettes are banned.
57
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,701
Not on any
of the signs I saw.
58
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:17,833
What?
59
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,445
On the school's website,
we got "no skateboarding,
60
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,926
no vaping, no loitering,
no horseplay, no weapons,
61
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:26,058
no open flames, no bullying,
and no gambling."
62
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:28,148
That last one's just for
students, though, right?
63
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,932
There's nothing here
about cigarettes.
64
00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,760
Did y'all find anything?
65
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,154
Uh, well, I saw a sign
in the hallway that said "no,"
66
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,286
but whatever was under it
was graffitied over.
67
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,723
Yeah, that was
a "no graffiti" sign.
68
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,943
The e-mail from the top
of the year lists everything--
69
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:43,293
and I mean everything--
including bringing a live spider
70
00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:44,729
to school
is grounds for expulsion,
71
00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,122
but it definitely
doesn't list cigarettes.
72
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,993
Fidget spinners-- banned.
73
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:50,822
Cigarettes just seem to have
evaded every sign we've seen.
74
00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:53,434
Wait. So many new hazards
have come out
75
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,914
that we forgot to put
cigarettes on the ban list?
76
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:58,178
Gee willikers, I have
nothing helpful to say,
77
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,920
so I guess I'll just restate the
problem that we're all aware of.
78
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,227
- That's you.
- Yeah, I got it.
79
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,534
Besties! Let's finish up
those worksheets
80
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,666
so we can move on
to adjectives.
81
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:12,148
Jessca, do I need to capitalize
the names of the states?
82
00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:16,761
The only human needs are water,
food, shelter, and music.
83
00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:18,372
But don't worry about that
right now.
84
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:20,287
Just focus on getting
your worksheets done.
85
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,419
Ooh. I'm sorry.
[ Chuckles ]
86
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:25,030
You actually do need to
capitalize the names of states,
87
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:28,033
because that's the correct thing
to do for proper nouns.
88
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,514
Right?
Don't want to build bad habits.
89
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,603
- Hi. I'm Janine.
- Jessca.
90
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,257
Oh, it's nice
to meet you, Jessica.
91
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:38,218
Jessca. There's no "I."
Jess... Ca.
92
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:40,611
Who are you again?
93
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,222
Oh, sorry.
94
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,354
I'm Miss Teagues.
This is my classroom.
95
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:46,138
Oh! You're back.
96
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:48,924
Friends, looks like
I'm at the end of my time here.
97
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,666
Oh, no, no, no, no. I was just
popping in to say hi to them.
98
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,495
- That's it.
- Everyone say hi to Janine!
99
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,540
All: Hi, Janine!
100
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,848
Oh. Uh, no, guys,
it's Miss Teagues,
101
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:03,068
with a capital "T"
because it's a proper noun.
102
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,809
Is there a reason
why we're abandoning
103
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:07,116
- all the rules of grammar?
- Oh, in the first worksheet,
104
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:09,684
I like for the kids to write
as freely as possible.
105
00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:11,773
Mm.
And, uh, we'll tackle
106
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,122
capitalization later.
107
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:15,429
Thank you so much
for stopping by.
108
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,779
- Bye, Janine.
- Oh, see, it's the way
109
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,433
he said that just now
is what I'm trying--Mm-hmm.
110
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,609
Alright. Let's get back to it.[ Door locks ]
111
00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,263
[ Chuckles ][ Doorknob rattles ]
112
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,613
How could cigarettes
not be banned?
113
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:28,093
Yeah, somebody really missed
the mark on that one.
114
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,574
I know my fit is going off
today, but don't look at me.
115
00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,750
I blame... Janine.
116
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,361
What are y'all even doing
down there at the district?
117
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,450
Shuffling papers?
Doing the Jubi Slide?
118
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,539
- The children are smoking.
- What's the Jubi Slide?
119
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,280
Oh, it's when you put
one foot down,
120
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,716
and you kind of move
in the opposite direction--
121
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,370
I do not want
to live in a world
122
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:46,634
where white people
explain dance moves to me.
123
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,983
You know,
I just don't get it.[ Door opens ]
124
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,332
You know, I thought
we beat cigarettes
125
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,246
with the Truth Campaign.
126
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:51,943
It's just so retro.
127
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,815
Well, maybe they're
getting cool again.
128
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:56,687
I mean, clogs are back.
Anything's possible.
129
00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:58,689
Yes. Well, yes,
but there are some cool clogs.
130
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:01,953
I just can't believe that
children are smoking ragweed.
131
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:04,042
I know. Don't they know
that smoking kills?
132
00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:06,610
Mm.
Jacob, you literally vape.
133
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,395
Okay, that's different.
That--
134
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,832
Yes, in that it's worse
because you can vape anywhere.
135
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,355
You vaped all
through "Saltburn."
136
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:15,402
You're inhaling
thousands of toxins. Yuck.
137
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:18,535
Yeah, well...
Janine smokes weed every day.
138
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:19,667
[ All gasp ]
No.
139
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:20,668
Damn, Afroman.
140
00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:22,844
Nope. Not every day.
141
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:23,888
Every night.
142
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,107
Janine.
143
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:27,718
Reefer. Ganja.
144
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,416
The Devil's Lettuce.
145
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,026
That's why your feet so big.
146
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,941
I-It's medicinal,
and-- and it's considerate.
147
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,857
If I didn't smoke, I'd be
an insufferable Energizer Bunny.
148
00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,512
What a twist.
Janine is quietly off that loud.
149
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,427
Ava, you can't talk, okay?
You a hookah head.
150
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,690
Mm-hmm. Facts.
And microdosing.
151
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:45,083
I just eyeball it and say,
"Yeah, that's enough."
152
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,998
Now, I don't smoke,
153
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:50,001
but I do enjoy a protein-bar
edible on the weekends.
154
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,438
You know,
research actually shows--
155
00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:53,744
Wow. This man
just made drugs boring.
156
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:58,401
I suggest that you all
drop your vices
157
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:01,709
and take a hit
of my drug of choice--
158
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:04,929
J-E-S-U-S.
159
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:07,976
Street name, Christ.
160
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,717
Uh, you've been known
161
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:12,937
to demolish those little bottles
of Chardonnay.
162
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:16,376
And you snort
that liquid marijuana.
163
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,987
You don't snort it.
It is CBD oil,
164
00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,510
and I rub it on my joints.
165
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:21,685
It's a gateway ointment.
166
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:23,208
Your lungs are dust.
167
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:25,036
Crackheads.
Speaking of joints,
168
00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:26,777
you ever submerge yourself
in the essence of--
169
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,823
Oh, duh-duh-duh-duh, shh.
Don't finish that sentence.
170
00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,999
[ Cellphone chimes ]
Frankincense and rosemary.
171
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:33,175
I bathe in it
while I hit a blunt.
172
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,832
Gotcha. Okay. I--
173
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:41,052
[ Panting ] Gotcha.
Whew, so glad we found you.
174
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,794
Um, you may or may not have
heard some chatting earlier,
175
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,492
that may or may not have been
by the teachers,
176
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,232
about, you know,
some topics
177
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,060
that you may or may not
know enough about to parse.
178
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,019
- What?
- Baby, what'd you hear
up in the lounge?
179
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,282
That the teachers
are all dope fiends.
180
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,979
[ Gasps ]
Okay, now, that was an adult
conversation between adults.
181
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,460
- That also didn't happen.
- We were just joking.
182
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,722
Why didn't anybody laugh?
183
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,289
'Cause Janine isn't funny.
184
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:01,943
Okay, listen,
I'm gonna level with you,
185
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:03,553
'cause I know
you're a smart kid--
186
00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:05,903
I am. Or at least
that's what my teachers say.
187
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:08,428
But maybe they didn't mean it.
Since they were high.
188
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,125
[ All gasp ]
Okay, alright, I think the point
189
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,040
is that you overheard
our conversation,
190
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,563
which wasn't meant for you,
191
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:16,087
so maybe it should
just stay right here.
192
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,306
If it makes y'all
feel better,
193
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:19,395
- it can stay here physically.
- Okay.
194
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,745
But, digitally,
it's up on every platform.
195
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,399
I posted it
everywhere immediately.
196
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:25,009
- Ohh!
- Ooh.
197
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,534
Respect.
198
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,449
Gotcha.
[ Panting ]
199
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,972
So, the Dust Bowl,
named after--
200
00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,582
Is that what the inside
of your car looks like
201
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,758
when you're vaping, Mr. C.?[ Laughter ]
202
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,457
Look, I-I want to make
something very clear.
203
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:41,373
No one should be talking about,
or doing, any drugs, okay?
204
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:43,201
Except for
the teachers, huh?
205
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,073
This man
is a hypocrite.
206
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:47,292
[ Laughter ]
Oh, you just got
smoked, Mr. C.
207
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:49,947
But I bet you like that.[ Laughter ]
208
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:51,645
Hi.
209
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:53,385
Hmph. Bet you are.
210
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,912
Word Families.
211
00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:58,913
- Pet.
- Kids: Pet.
212
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,784
Mm.
Mrs. Howard,
213
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,786
is that Pinot Grigio?
214
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:08,270
This thing has gotten
totally out of control.
215
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,794
You're all drug addicts,
- and I'm tired of it.
- What do we even say to them?
216
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,709
We can't just have our kids
undermining us.
217
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:14,363
Okay, but how do we tell them
not to smoke or do drugs,
218
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,278
when, one, they know
that we do them, and, two,
219
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:18,410
we can't say anything to them
except for "Just say no"?
220
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,630
Okay, well, Janine,
you're at the school district.
221
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:23,459
What's our move?
222
00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:27,202
We do have one more resource
at our disposal.
223
00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:29,552
I think it's time
to call in a professional.
224
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,901
Gregory:
Take a seat in this row,
225
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:33,295
but leave this seat
for me, okay?
226
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:34,905
Well, F.A.D.E.
got here quickly.
227
00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:36,603
Yeah, just had to
call in a favor.
Nice work.
228
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,387
And then I had to call in
another favor
229
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:39,997
when they found out I was
the one who sent them Tariq.
230
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:41,521
To which I said,
"How was I supposed to know
231
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,131
he'd be a liability?"
To which they said,
232
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:44,349
"Wasn't he your boyfriend?"
To which I said,
233
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,003
"Okay, nosy, good point.
234
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,483
I'd like to use
all other remaining favors.
235
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,006
Can you help me or not?"Well, it sounds like
236
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,704
the Tariq and F.A.D.E. split
was amicable, then.
237
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:52,706
They said it's litigious
and Tariq is not winning.
238
00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:54,316
Great.
Look at this.
239
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,448
[ Scoffs ] Why aren't they
in single file,
240
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,277
and why are they holding hands?
It's like, germ alert.
241
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,149
Maybe it's to make sure
no one gets left behind.
242
00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,803
Okay, well, did you know
243
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:05,153
that she has them
call her by her first name?
244
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,807
These are your students,
not your buddies.
245
00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,373
Also, I overheard
her saying,
246
00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:10,419
"You can use commas
whenever you feel like."
247
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,290
And I just feel like--[ Quietly ] Janine,
248
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:14,728
did you smoke last night? 'Cause
it don't seem like you did.
249
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,556
I just don't think it's
the best way to run a classroom.
250
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,122
Well, she's right over there
if you want to have
251
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,211
an actual conversation
with her.
252
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,127
Mm.
253
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:26,957
[ Kids chattering ]
254
00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:30,570
Awwww, yeah!
255
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:35,792
Abbott Elementary two-
thousand-and-twenty-three-ee-ee!
256
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,228
It's 2024.
257
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:41,232
Two-thousand-
and-twenty-fou-ou-r!
258
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,886
Gotta introduce myself
right quick.
259
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,409
My mama named me Timothy.
260
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:47,021
I call myself Slimothy.
[ Laughs ]
261
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,414
But you can call me Slim.
You feel me?
262
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:51,373
Welcome to
the F.A.D.E. Experience.
263
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:53,114
Let's do this!
264
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,420
Drink up the energy!
265
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,075
Drink up the energy,
drink up the energy!
266
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,338
Sober minded.
267
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:03,994
Aw, yeah, no, it's a great gig.
Like, it was fate.
268
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:06,388
And your Tariq was
a renaissance, for real.
269
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,085
Definitely my inspiration.
270
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,739
'Cause I just be studyin'
what he be doin'
271
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,523
and puttin' my own spin on it.
272
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:14,004
And the people,
shh, they like it.
273
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:16,398
So, what's poppin'
to all my little sweeties.
274
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:19,053
Smokin' cigs'll
give you diabetes.
275
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:21,446
Now, I admit that
it make you look cool.
276
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,448
But it make your breath
smell like stool.
277
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,233
And that's poop.[ Gasps ]
278
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,844
Slim: I run up the score
when I step in the booth.
279
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:31,979
You do too much dip,
you might lose a tooth.
280
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:35,156
I'm feelin' so swaggy
and actin' uncouth.
281
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,027
Please don't get me
started on cancer.
282
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:40,074
I'mma lose it if you think
smokin' the answer!
283
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,293
Get that out. Put it out.
284
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,992
In conclusion, I don't think
children should smoke.
285
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,384
- That's right.
- Yes.
286
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,386
Whoo! [ Chuckles ]
287
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:50,911
Yeah, y'all warm as hell now!
288
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:53,522
Fatal overdoses in Philly
are on the rise!
289
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:58,092
And you all are responsible for
stopping it via your decisions.
290
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,615
Say it wit' me.
291
00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:02,618
All: Decisions.
292
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:05,621
Alright, now I'm about
to bring out da dopest...
293
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:06,448
Mm.
Mm. Mnh-mnh.
294
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,145
...the tightest
295
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,408
certified
F.A.D.E. representative
296
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,976
in the wo-o-rld!
297
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:17,154
Carol-i-i-i-ne!
298
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:19,504
Pay attention
so you don't die.
299
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,637
Pay attention...
300
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:25,075
so you don't die.
301
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:28,905
Hello, young...
youth of color.
302
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,733
I'm Caroline.
303
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:33,823
Look to your left.
304
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,652
Now look to your right.
305
00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:39,524
Now imagine it's blurry.
306
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:42,353
That's what it's like
to be under the influence.
307
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,138
Hey, Jessca,
how's it going?
308
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:47,010
It's fantastic.
I was just telling the kids
309
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:49,839
they can choose
their own homework assignments.
310
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,798
- I see.
- Yeah.
311
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:55,627
I find that choice gets them
really excited about homework.
312
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:58,021
Caroline:
- You are worthy of a good life.
- Hey, so, um, first of all,
313
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,110
I just wanted to say
thank you for subbing.
314
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,896
The only job harder than
teaching is substitute teaching.
315
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:06,595
I don't know. Have you
ever seen "Ice Road Truckers"?
316
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:10,468
That ice thin.
That truck big.
317
00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,470
[ Chuckles dryly ]
Yeah, good point.
318
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,994
Mm-hmm.
Great show.
319
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,517
Uh, second, you know,
320
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,693
I used to teach this class
for three years,
321
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,869
and so I have a deep,
you know, rich understanding
322
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:22,045
of the kids
and this grade level,
323
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,221
so, you know,
if you ever need any tips.
324
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:27,137
Thanks!
But everything's fine.
325
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,749
Right, but there are some
universal teaching practices,
326
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,794
and because of your
lack of experience,
327
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,754
you might just need
a little gentle guidance.
328
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:38,366
Excuse me, Janine,
I'm trying to listen.
329
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:39,715
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
330
00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:42,674
If I need help,
I will ask.
331
00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:43,893
Okay.
332
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,896
But I don't,
so I won't.
333
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,985
So, in conclusion,
334
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:53,120
say no to drugs, cigarettes,
and alcohol.
335
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,252
Remember, F.A.D.E. says,
336
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,820
if it makes you faded,
337
00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:02,259
walk away from i-it.
338
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,087
I know that doesn't
exactly rhyme,
339
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:07,264
but it's the message
that counts.
340
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:10,441
A-Alright, we're gonna keep
this fun bus moving along
341
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:14,228
and jump right into a Q&A.
342
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:16,926
When my mom gets off
her shift at the hospital,
343
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,972
she has a cigarette.
Is that okay?
344
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:22,889
Only if she wants to wind up
being a patient there herself.
345
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,412
What about wine?
346
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,066
My dad drinks a glass
at dinner sometimes.
347
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,546
You know what pairs well
with everything?
348
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,461
Sobriety.
349
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,942
My aunt takes edibles the doctor
prescribed for her glaucoma.
350
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,683
I guess that would be
an exception
351
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,816
if it is for medical reasons.
352
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,601
So, you're saying some drugs
are better than others?
353
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,124
I would not say better.
354
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,605
But some are definitely
worse than others.
355
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,868
Well, then,
what's the least bad drug?
356
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,739
All substances are bad.
357
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,480
But if you
had to pick one...
358
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,786
Cigarettes, I guess.
359
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,744
No! No!
[ Scoffs ]
360
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:56,096
So if I had to pick one thing
to do if my life depended on it,
361
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,097
it should be cigarettes?
362
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,925
No! Maybe weed?
363
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,491
- Hoo, buddy.
- The hell?
364
00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:01,841
Let's end this, guys.
365
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,973
According to CNN...Uh, fake news.
366
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,670
Okay, now you got
my attention.
367
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,586
...alcohol was illegal
during the Prohibition era,
368
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,111
and we're seeing the same
renaissance now with marijuana.
369
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,852
You know where they don't
have a marijuana problem?
370
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,592
The Third World,
371
00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:16,072
where kids can't just
Google whatever they want,
372
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,421
because they're busy
making the phones.
373
00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:18,683
Okay, alright--It just seems like
374
00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,511
most drugs
aren't that bad.
375
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:23,166
Fine, you can smoke a little!
Just don't do opioids!
376
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,559
My grandfather's
on opioids.
377
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:26,213
Drugs from
a doctor are okay.
378
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,779
My mom's on Valtrex.
379
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,346
That's fine.
Your mom has herpes.
380
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:30,521
- Hey!
- Wow.
381
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:31,958
Lady, are you high?
382
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,569
Caroline: Uh--[ Coughing ]
383
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:36,832
Whoo! Alright!
384
00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:39,574
When I say "this,"
you say, "went well."
385
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:42,446
This.
Went well.
386
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:45,014
Hey, okay. Ah, peace.
387
00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:50,846
Ava: [ Over P.A. ] Attention,
Abbott Elementarians--
388
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,587
Due to the district mandate,
we will now be performing
389
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,154
mandatory locker, bag,
and cubby searches.
390
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,851
In addition to searches,
391
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:58,723
we are also reinforcing
the zero-tolerance policy.
392
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:02,031
Any substance found will end in
a mandatory two-day suspension.
393
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:04,381
Okay... Any discussion
of illicit substances
394
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,731
will result
in disciplinary action.
395
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:09,734
This applies to students
and teachers.
396
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,825
[ Sighs ]
It's bad enough
397
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,436
I got to make announcements
sounding like a cop.
398
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,177
Now I got to be a judge
and hand out a sentence.
399
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,831
According to this,
I got to suspend Curtis.
400
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,877
Well, that's how it goes.
401
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:24,575
You bring a substance in,
you get suspended.
402
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,577
This seems like overkill,
to do all this
403
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,884
without even having an honest
conversation with Curtis
404
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,103
or any of our students.
405
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:32,627
Well, that's the system
for ya.
406
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:35,673
We're not allowed to say
anything except "drugs are bad."
407
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:39,068
It just all seems ridiculous.
Okay, Curtis is a great kid.
408
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,070
He's an "A" student.
He doesn't bother anyone.
409
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:43,333
It's kind of uncharacteristic
that he smokes.
410
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,075
Smokes or smoked?
411
00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,164
Do we even know
if he's done this before?
412
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,256
We let this thing
get so out of control,
413
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:57,086
we forgot to ask the boy
what happened.
414
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,567
So I guess
I got to suspend him?
415
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,612
Hold on, okay?
Let me talk to him.
416
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,266
He's been spending a lot
of time in my classroom,
417
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:04,789
and I think
he's comfortable with me.
418
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:07,053
I'll go with you.
As a former child smoker,
419
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,837
I can probably
cough up some advice.
420
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,056
[ Laughs ][ Door opens ]
421
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,709
[ Coughs ]
422
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:16,801
See? It's not funny.
423
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,239
Janine:
...steps to make sure this kind
of thing doesn't happen anymore.
424
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:20,980
Feel like some direction...
425
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,853
Uh, some direction from
the school district--
426
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,246
Everything okay?
'Cause, Janine,
427
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:28,335
I know you love
to return a wave.
428
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,598
Yeah, everything's fine.
I love the sub.
429
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:34,036
[ Chuckles ]
And her methods, and her ways.
430
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,691
- Yeah, I have no concerns.
- Spill the peas.
431
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,823
She's just doing things
differently than I would, okay?
432
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:39,955
And that's all I'll say.
433
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,654
She is teaching grammar
out of order,
434
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:46,309
and it is chaos,
and other things, too. It's--
435
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,181
Would you believe it
if I told you
436
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:51,140
that when you first started,
I found that some of your ways
437
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,534
of teaching
were a bit unorthodox?
438
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:56,232
Uh, no, because
that belief interferes
439
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,886
with my perception
of reality, so...
440
00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:01,150
Janine, every teacher
has their own style.
441
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:02,978
You do things differently
than Melissa.
442
00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:05,459
Melissa does things
differently than me.
443
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,200
I know,
but it's my class.
444
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,811
It was your class.
445
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,031
It's not your class
right now.
446
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,687
Okay.
Okay.
447
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:18,515
But did you know that she took
the "I" out of her name
448
00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:19,951
and just goes by Jessca?
449
00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,953
Now, that is foolishness.
450
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,433
Mm-hmm.
These kids nowadays,
451
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,479
- they're just gonna do anything.
- I know.
452
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:28,743
"Hello, students. My name
is no longer Miss Barbara.
453
00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:31,659
It's Miss Br-ha-ha-ra."[ Kids giggle ]
454
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,704
Yeah, yeah. It's absurd.
455
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:34,966
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
456
00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:39,188
Am I in trouble?
Because I really am sorry.
457
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,103
No, no, we just
wanted to talk, hon.
458
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,714
So, remember when we asked you
where you got the loosie?
459
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:46,674
Well, we also want to know
why you got it.
460
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,980
I don't know.
Just curious, I guess.
461
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,982
Curiosity is part
of being a kid.
462
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:53,463
Okay, when I was younger,
I, uh...
463
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:57,293
Uh, l-look,
you're gonna be presented
464
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,730
with a lot of things in life,
both good and bad,
465
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,819
and we just want to make sure
that you're being careful.
466
00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:03,952
I wasn't even
gonna do it again.
467
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:06,998
See, that's great. It took me
decades to learn that.
468
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,696
It was nasty.
469
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:11,307
Yeah, it is nasty,
so don't forget that taste.
470
00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:14,180
Was F.A.D.E.
my fault?
471
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,920
No, no, sweetie.
472
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,661
F.A.D.E. is
the government's fault.
473
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,924
[ Chuckles ]
474
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,796
I really am sorry.
475
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,886
Yeah, we know you are. Why don't
you head on back to class?
476
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,934
I hate that we can't be
more honest with them.[ Door opens ]
477
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:32,763
Me, too. That kid
should not be suspended. Ugh.
478
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:36,593
Maybe he doesn't
have to be.
479
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,771
Hey.
Now it's vibe time.
480
00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:43,861
Hey, Jessca.
481
00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,733
So, I just
wanted to apologize.
482
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:48,257
Um, while you're here,
483
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:50,085
these kids are your class,
not mine,
484
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,478
and I should not
have tried to force
485
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:53,871
my albeit tried-and-true
methods onto--
486
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,917
"K," so let me stop you
right there,
487
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:59,486
because actually, I'm only
signed up to be here this week.
488
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,183
And I won't be returning,
489
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,403
because this week
has been exceptionally mid.
490
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:06,971
Oh! So-- Mm.
I thought you would, uh--
491
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:08,973
I don't know. I just thought
you were having a good time,
492
00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:12,107
so that's why I wanted to come
and, you know, say sorry
493
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:14,892
for the way I'd been acting,
because it wasn't, you know--
494
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,504
Yeah, you're talking as if there
was some sort of interaction
495
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,506
I'm supposed to remember,
but I don't.
496
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:21,029
[ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckles dryly ]
497
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,291
Nevertheless...
Oh.
498
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:23,858
...I accept your apology,
499
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:27,340
which I'm sure
I humbly deserve.
500
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:28,645
[ Both chuckle ]
501
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:29,994
Toodle-oo.
502
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,779
Okay. Oh. Oh, the door.
503
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:32,606
Toodle-oo.
Click it.
504
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:33,998
[ Door locks ]
505
00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:39,700
I'm gonna be honest.
This was a rough week at Abbott.
506
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,310
Uh, sometimes, as a teacher,
507
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,486
there's only so much
you're allowed to say.
508
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:44,792
But that doesn't mean
that you can't still be there
509
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,489
for your kids.
510
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:49,144
I remembered that I had
an in at the district,
511
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:50,841
and she's gonna speak
to the board
512
00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:52,278
and see if she can get
Curtis' suspension lifted.
513
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:54,541
I'm confident
she'll get it done.
514
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,891
She always does.
515
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:59,981
- Thank you.
- The truth is, attitudes change.
516
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,852
And as teachers,
we have to figure out
517
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,420
how to keep an open mind
while staying within the bounds.
518
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,205
And the result is,
519
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,598
sometimes we end up
learning something ourselves.
520
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:11,645
You're gonna feel so much better
when you just let it go.
521
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:12,994
[ All speaking indistinctly ]
Let it go.
522
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,169
- Drop it.
- Good, there you go.
523
00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:15,170
- Okay. See?
- Very good.
524
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:15,997
- Good job.
- Yes!
525
00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,607
There you go!
526
00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,043
[ Chanting ]
- Jacob. Jacob. Jacob.
- Yes. Yes.
527
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:20,436
No!
[ All screaming ]
528
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,221
No!
Oh, my God!
529
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,005
- Get him out! Get him out!
- Jacob. Jacob. Jacob? Relax.
530
00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:25,441
I got it![ All screaming indistinctly ]
531
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:27,530
- - No! Jacob!
- Give it to me!
- No!
532
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:32,840
They say quitting vaping
is easy-peasy. Total lie.
533
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,537
Nicotine gum-- I kept
accidentally swallowing it.
534
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,713
Reading Allen Carr's
"Easy Way to Stop Smoking,"
535
00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:39,238
I was falling asleep
and dreaming about smoking.
536
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:43,372
Anyway, I have found a solution
that I really think is the one.
537
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,854
[ Gasps ]
538
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,290
Hey, didn't you listen
to F.A.D.E.?
539
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,813
You can't have vape pens
in school.
540
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,598
I buried my vape pen.
541
00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,339
This is my Bref.
[breath]
542
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:57,125
No vapor, no nicotine,
just real natural air.
543
00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:59,040
Damn, they got dumbasses
paying for air?
544
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,476
Why didn't I think of that?
545
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:03,349
Dumbasses? No--
Uh, it was only $200.
546
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,742
And it comes with
a lifetime guarantee...
547
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,267
Wait.
548
00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,400
I got got.
549
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,318
[ Inhaling deeply ]
550
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:21,192
Well, I'll be.
551
00:21:21,192 --> 00:21:23,238
This oxygen is bussin'!