1 00:00:01,218 --> 00:00:04,308 Aardvark. Armadillo. 2 00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:06,658 Ant. Anteater. 3 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,660 Now that I'm doing my fellowship at the district, 4 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,227 there's a rotation of substitutes 5 00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:13,100 who are teaching my class while I'm gone. 6 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,711 I like to pop by and see how they're doing 7 00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:17,756 whenever I happen to be at Abbott. 8 00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:20,063 Just some quick, light-touch check-ins, 9 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,934 you know, just to show support. 10 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,501 They hardly even know I'm here. [ Chuckles ] 11 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:30,465 Jessca: Alpaca. Alligator. 12 00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:33,033 [ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 13 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:41,128 ♪ 14 00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:45,610 Kids: ♪ I'm a little teapot, short and stout ♪ 15 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,221 My kids are so bored, they're moshing to 16 00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,962 "I'm a Little Teapot." When can we go back in? 17 00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,095 ♪ When I get all steamed up, hear me shout ♪ 18 00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,315 [ Scoffs, clicks tongue ]♪ Tip me over and pour me out ♪ 19 00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,534 And what you tsk'ing at, Tsk'in' Teagues? 20 00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,362 Ugh, just-- I mean, look-- look at this. 21 00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,843 My kids are just meandering. You know what I mean? 22 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,454 You know, she's not even using the buddy system. I-- Mm... 23 00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:05,021 What even set off the alarm? 24 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,892 Don't look at me. 25 00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:09,330 Church or home are the only places my candles are lit. 26 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:12,072 What's not lit is another call from Abbott. 27 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,769 At least it's not a full fire this time. 28 00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,205 - Mm. - Just some smoke. 29 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,685 Seems like someone lit a cigarette 30 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:17,816 - in one of the boys' bathrooms. - What?! 31 00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,340 - Cigarette? - What? 32 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,993 Seriously, who still smokes cigarettes? 33 00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,604 Single dads, criminals... 34 00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,345 Morton. Where is he? 35 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,608 Probably lightin' up in a back alley behind a Dumpster. 36 00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:29,045 Scumbag. 37 00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,916 We got him. Melissa sniffed him out. 38 00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:34,877 Oh, yeah. You got menthols, you can run, but you can't hide. 39 00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:37,314 One whiff, and I am 14 again... 40 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,403 thinkin' I'm gonna wait a couple years 41 00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,797 before I try one of these. 42 00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:44,016 That would only make you 16. 43 00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,844 Smell always reminds me of my uncle. 44 00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:48,456 Oh, my aunt used to sit in a chair with a cig 45 00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:51,067 and a glass of Pinot Grig and recount "Moonlighting" to me. 46 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,938 Yeah, my uncle used to do the same thing, 47 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,027 except it was scotch and the Phillies game the night before. 48 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,464 Mm. 49 00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:57,813 Childhood. Childhood. 50 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,123 - Nah, but this is a real problem. - Gregory: Mm-hmm. 51 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,602 - Janine: Yeah. - Oh, yeah, absolutely. 52 00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,213 Where did you even get a cigarette? 53 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,997 Yeah, what you, a French child? 54 00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,781 The guy around the corner sold it to me for a dollar. 55 00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,870 A dollar? Inflation is crazy. 56 00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:14,525 But you are in big trouble, because cigarettes are banned. 57 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,701 Not on any of the signs I saw. 58 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:17,833 What? 59 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,445 On the school's website, we got "no skateboarding, 60 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,926 no vaping, no loitering, no horseplay, no weapons, 61 00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:26,058 no open flames, no bullying, and no gambling." 62 00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:28,148 That last one's just for students, though, right? 63 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,932 There's nothing here about cigarettes. 64 00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,760 Did y'all find anything? 65 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,154 Uh, well, I saw a sign in the hallway that said "no," 66 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,286 but whatever was under it was graffitied over. 67 00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,723 Yeah, that was a "no graffiti" sign. 68 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,943 The e-mail from the top of the year lists everything-- 69 00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:43,293 and I mean everything-- including bringing a live spider 70 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:44,729 to school is grounds for expulsion, 71 00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,122 but it definitely doesn't list cigarettes. 72 00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,993 Fidget spinners-- banned. 73 00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:50,822 Cigarettes just seem to have evaded every sign we've seen. 74 00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:53,434 Wait. So many new hazards have come out 75 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,914 that we forgot to put cigarettes on the ban list? 76 00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:58,178 Gee willikers, I have nothing helpful to say, 77 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,920 so I guess I'll just restate the problem that we're all aware of. 78 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,227 - That's you. - Yeah, I got it. 79 00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,534 Besties! Let's finish up those worksheets 80 00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,666 so we can move on to adjectives. 81 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:12,148 Jessca, do I need to capitalize the names of the states? 82 00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:16,761 The only human needs are water, food, shelter, and music. 83 00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:18,372 But don't worry about that right now. 84 00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:20,287 Just focus on getting your worksheets done. 85 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,419 Ooh. I'm sorry. [ Chuckles ] 86 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:25,030 You actually do need to capitalize the names of states, 87 00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:28,033 because that's the correct thing to do for proper nouns. 88 00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,514 Right? Don't want to build bad habits. 89 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,603 - Hi. I'm Janine. - Jessca. 90 00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,257 Oh, it's nice to meet you, Jessica. 91 00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:38,218 Jessca. There's no "I." Jess... Ca. 92 00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:40,611 Who are you again? 93 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,222 Oh, sorry. 94 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,354 I'm Miss Teagues. This is my classroom. 95 00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:46,138 Oh! You're back. 96 00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:48,924 Friends, looks like I'm at the end of my time here. 97 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,666 Oh, no, no, no, no. I was just popping in to say hi to them. 98 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,495 - That's it. - Everyone say hi to Janine! 99 00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,540 All: Hi, Janine! 100 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,848 Oh. Uh, no, guys, it's Miss Teagues, 101 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:03,068 with a capital "T" because it's a proper noun. 102 00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:04,809 Is there a reason why we're abandoning 103 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:07,116 - all the rules of grammar? - Oh, in the first worksheet, 104 00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:09,684 I like for the kids to write as freely as possible. 105 00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:11,773 Mm. And, uh, we'll tackle 106 00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,122 capitalization later. 107 00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:15,429 Thank you so much for stopping by. 108 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,779 - Bye, Janine. - Oh, see, it's the way 109 00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,433 he said that just now is what I'm trying--Mm-hmm. 110 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,609 Alright. Let's get back to it.[ Door locks ] 111 00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,263 [ Chuckles ][ Doorknob rattles ] 112 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,613 How could cigarettes not be banned? 113 00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:28,093 Yeah, somebody really missed the mark on that one. 114 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,574 I know my fit is going off today, but don't look at me. 115 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,750 I blame... Janine. 116 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,361 What are y'all even doing down there at the district? 117 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,450 Shuffling papers? Doing the Jubi Slide? 118 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,539 - The children are smoking. - What's the Jubi Slide? 119 00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,280 Oh, it's when you put one foot down, 120 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,716 and you kind of move in the opposite direction-- 121 00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,370 I do not want to live in a world 122 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:46,634 where white people explain dance moves to me. 123 00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,983 You know, I just don't get it.[ Door opens ] 124 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,332 You know, I thought we beat cigarettes 125 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,246 with the Truth Campaign. 126 00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:51,943 It's just so retro. 127 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,815 Well, maybe they're getting cool again. 128 00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:56,687 I mean, clogs are back. Anything's possible. 129 00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:58,689 Yes. Well, yes, but there are some cool clogs. 130 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:01,953 I just can't believe that children are smoking ragweed. 131 00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:04,042 I know. Don't they know that smoking kills? 132 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:06,610 Mm. Jacob, you literally vape. 133 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,395 Okay, that's different. That-- 134 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,832 Yes, in that it's worse because you can vape anywhere. 135 00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,355 You vaped all through "Saltburn." 136 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:15,402 You're inhaling thousands of toxins. Yuck. 137 00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:18,535 Yeah, well... Janine smokes weed every day. 138 00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:19,667 [ All gasp ] No. 139 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:20,668 Damn, Afroman. 140 00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:22,844 Nope. Not every day. 141 00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:23,888 Every night. 142 00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,107 Janine. 143 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:27,718 Reefer. Ganja. 144 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,416 The Devil's Lettuce. 145 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,026 That's why your feet so big. 146 00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,941 I-It's medicinal, and-- and it's considerate. 147 00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,857 If I didn't smoke, I'd be an insufferable Energizer Bunny. 148 00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,512 What a twist. Janine is quietly off that loud. 149 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,427 Ava, you can't talk, okay? You a hookah head. 150 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,690 Mm-hmm. Facts. And microdosing. 151 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:45,083 I just eyeball it and say, "Yeah, that's enough." 152 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,998 Now, I don't smoke, 153 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:50,001 but I do enjoy a protein-bar edible on the weekends. 154 00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,438 You know, research actually shows-- 155 00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:53,744 Wow. This man just made drugs boring. 156 00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:58,401 I suggest that you all drop your vices 157 00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:01,709 and take a hit of my drug of choice-- 158 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:04,929 J-E-S-U-S. 159 00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:07,976 Street name, Christ. 160 00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,717 Uh, you've been known 161 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:12,937 to demolish those little bottles of Chardonnay. 162 00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:16,376 And you snort that liquid marijuana. 163 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,987 You don't snort it. It is CBD oil, 164 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,510 and I rub it on my joints. 165 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:21,685 It's a gateway ointment. 166 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:23,208 Your lungs are dust. 167 00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:25,036 Crackheads. Speaking of joints, 168 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:26,777 you ever submerge yourself in the essence of-- 169 00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,823 Oh, duh-duh-duh-duh, shh. Don't finish that sentence. 170 00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:30,999 [ Cellphone chimes ] Frankincense and rosemary. 171 00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:33,175 I bathe in it while I hit a blunt. 172 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,832 Gotcha. Okay. I-- 173 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:41,052 [ Panting ] Gotcha. Whew, so glad we found you. 174 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,794 Um, you may or may not have heard some chatting earlier, 175 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,492 that may or may not have been by the teachers, 176 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,232 about, you know, some topics 177 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,060 that you may or may not know enough about to parse. 178 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,019 - What? - Baby, what'd you hear up in the lounge? 179 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,282 That the teachers are all dope fiends. 180 00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,979 [ Gasps ] Okay, now, that was an adult conversation between adults. 181 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,460 - That also didn't happen. - We were just joking. 182 00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,722 Why didn't anybody laugh? 183 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,289 'Cause Janine isn't funny. 184 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:01,943 Okay, listen, I'm gonna level with you, 185 00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:03,553 'cause I know you're a smart kid-- 186 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:05,903 I am. Or at least that's what my teachers say. 187 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:08,428 But maybe they didn't mean it. Since they were high. 188 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,125 [ All gasp ] Okay, alright, I think the point 189 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,040 is that you overheard our conversation, 190 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,563 which wasn't meant for you, 191 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:16,087 so maybe it should just stay right here. 192 00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,306 If it makes y'all feel better, 193 00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:19,395 - it can stay here physically. - Okay. 194 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,745 But, digitally, it's up on every platform. 195 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,399 I posted it everywhere immediately. 196 00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:25,009 - Ohh! - Ooh. 197 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,534 Respect. 198 00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,449 Gotcha. [ Panting ] 199 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,972 So, the Dust Bowl, named after-- 200 00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,582 Is that what the inside of your car looks like 201 00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,758 when you're vaping, Mr. C.?[ Laughter ] 202 00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,457 Look, I-I want to make something very clear. 203 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:41,373 No one should be talking about, or doing, any drugs, okay? 204 00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:43,201 Except for the teachers, huh? 205 00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,073 This man is a hypocrite. 206 00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:47,292 [ Laughter ] Oh, you just got smoked, Mr. C. 207 00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:49,947 But I bet you like that.[ Laughter ] 208 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:51,645 Hi. 209 00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:53,385 Hmph. Bet you are. 210 00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,912 Word Families. 211 00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:58,913 - Pet. - Kids: Pet. 212 00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,784 Mm. Mrs. Howard, 213 00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,786 is that Pinot Grigio? 214 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:08,270 This thing has gotten totally out of control. 215 00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,794 You're all drug addicts, - and I'm tired of it. - What do we even say to them? 216 00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,709 We can't just have our kids undermining us. 217 00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:14,363 Okay, but how do we tell them not to smoke or do drugs, 218 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,278 when, one, they know that we do them, and, two, 219 00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:18,410 we can't say anything to them except for "Just say no"? 220 00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,630 Okay, well, Janine, you're at the school district. 221 00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:23,459 What's our move? 222 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:27,202 We do have one more resource at our disposal. 223 00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:29,552 I think it's time to call in a professional. 224 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,901 Gregory: Take a seat in this row, 225 00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:33,295 but leave this seat for me, okay? 226 00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:34,905 Well, F.A.D.E. got here quickly. 227 00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:36,603 Yeah, just had to call in a favor. Nice work. 228 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,387 And then I had to call in another favor 229 00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:39,997 when they found out I was the one who sent them Tariq. 230 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:41,521 To which I said, "How was I supposed to know 231 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,131 he'd be a liability?" To which they said, 232 00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:44,349 "Wasn't he your boyfriend?" To which I said, 233 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,003 "Okay, nosy, good point. 234 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,483 I'd like to use all other remaining favors. 235 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,006 Can you help me or not?"Well, it sounds like 236 00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,704 the Tariq and F.A.D.E. split was amicable, then. 237 00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:52,706 They said it's litigious and Tariq is not winning. 238 00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:54,316 Great. Look at this. 239 00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,448 [ Scoffs ] Why aren't they in single file, 240 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,277 and why are they holding hands? It's like, germ alert. 241 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,149 Maybe it's to make sure no one gets left behind. 242 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,803 Okay, well, did you know 243 00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:05,153 that she has them call her by her first name? 244 00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,807 These are your students, not your buddies. 245 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,373 Also, I overheard her saying, 246 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:10,419 "You can use commas whenever you feel like." 247 00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,290 And I just feel like--[ Quietly ] Janine, 248 00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:14,728 did you smoke last night? 'Cause it don't seem like you did. 249 00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,556 I just don't think it's the best way to run a classroom. 250 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,122 Well, she's right over there if you want to have 251 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,211 an actual conversation with her. 252 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,127 Mm. 253 00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:26,957 [ Kids chattering ] 254 00:09:26,957 --> 00:09:30,570 Awwww, yeah! 255 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:35,792 Abbott Elementary two- thousand-and-twenty-three-ee-ee! 256 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,228 It's 2024. 257 00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:41,232 Two-thousand- and-twenty-fou-ou-r! 258 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,886 Gotta introduce myself right quick. 259 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,409 My mama named me Timothy. 260 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:47,021 I call myself Slimothy. [ Laughs ] 261 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:49,414 But you can call me Slim. You feel me? 262 00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:51,373 Welcome to the F.A.D.E. Experience. 263 00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:53,114 Let's do this! 264 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,420 Drink up the energy! 265 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,075 Drink up the energy, drink up the energy! 266 00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,338 Sober minded. 267 00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:03,994 Aw, yeah, no, it's a great gig. Like, it was fate. 268 00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:06,388 And your Tariq was a renaissance, for real. 269 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,085 Definitely my inspiration. 270 00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,739 'Cause I just be studyin' what he be doin' 271 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,523 and puttin' my own spin on it. 272 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:14,004 And the people, shh, they like it. 273 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:16,398 So, what's poppin' to all my little sweeties. 274 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:19,053 Smokin' cigs'll give you diabetes. 275 00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:21,446 Now, I admit that it make you look cool. 276 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,448 But it make your breath smell like stool. 277 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,233 And that's poop.[ Gasps ] 278 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,844 Slim: I run up the score when I step in the booth. 279 00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:31,979 You do too much dip, you might lose a tooth. 280 00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:35,156 I'm feelin' so swaggy and actin' uncouth. 281 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,027 Please don't get me started on cancer. 282 00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:40,074 I'mma lose it if you think smokin' the answer! 283 00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,293 Get that out. Put it out. 284 00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,992 In conclusion, I don't think children should smoke. 285 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,384 - That's right. - Yes. 286 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,386 Whoo! [ Chuckles ] 287 00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:50,911 Yeah, y'all warm as hell now! 288 00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:53,522 Fatal overdoses in Philly are on the rise! 289 00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:58,092 And you all are responsible for stopping it via your decisions. 290 00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,615 Say it wit' me. 291 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:02,618 All: Decisions. 292 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:05,621 Alright, now I'm about to bring out da dopest... 293 00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:06,448 Mm. Mm. Mnh-mnh. 294 00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,145 ...the tightest 295 00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,408 certified F.A.D.E. representative 296 00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,976 in the wo-o-rld! 297 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:17,154 Carol-i-i-i-ne! 298 00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:19,504 Pay attention so you don't die. 299 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,637 Pay attention... 300 00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:25,075 so you don't die. 301 00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:28,905 Hello, young... youth of color. 302 00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,733 I'm Caroline. 303 00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:33,823 Look to your left. 304 00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,652 Now look to your right. 305 00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:39,524 Now imagine it's blurry. 306 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:42,353 That's what it's like to be under the influence. 307 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,138 Hey, Jessca, how's it going? 308 00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:47,010 It's fantastic. I was just telling the kids 309 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:49,839 they can choose their own homework assignments. 310 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,798 - I see. - Yeah. 311 00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:55,627 I find that choice gets them really excited about homework. 312 00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:58,021 Caroline: - You are worthy of a good life. - Hey, so, um, first of all, 313 00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,110 I just wanted to say thank you for subbing. 314 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,896 The only job harder than teaching is substitute teaching. 315 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:06,595 I don't know. Have you ever seen "Ice Road Truckers"? 316 00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:10,468 That ice thin. That truck big. 317 00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,470 [ Chuckles dryly ] Yeah, good point. 318 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,994 Mm-hmm. Great show. 319 00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,517 Uh, second, you know, 320 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,693 I used to teach this class for three years, 321 00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,869 and so I have a deep, you know, rich understanding 322 00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:22,045 of the kids and this grade level, 323 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,221 so, you know, if you ever need any tips. 324 00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:27,137 Thanks! But everything's fine. 325 00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,749 Right, but there are some universal teaching practices, 326 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,794 and because of your lack of experience, 327 00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,754 you might just need a little gentle guidance. 328 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:38,366 Excuse me, Janine, I'm trying to listen. 329 00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:39,715 Thank you. Mm-hmm. 330 00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:42,674 If I need help, I will ask. 331 00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:43,893 Okay. 332 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,896 But I don't, so I won't. 333 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,985 So, in conclusion, 334 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:53,120 say no to drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol. 335 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,252 Remember, F.A.D.E. says, 336 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,820 if it makes you faded, 337 00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:02,259 walk away from i-it. 338 00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,087 I know that doesn't exactly rhyme, 339 00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:07,264 but it's the message that counts. 340 00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:10,441 A-Alright, we're gonna keep this fun bus moving along 341 00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:14,228 and jump right into a Q&A. 342 00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:16,926 When my mom gets off her shift at the hospital, 343 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,972 she has a cigarette. Is that okay? 344 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:22,889 Only if she wants to wind up being a patient there herself. 345 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,412 What about wine? 346 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,066 My dad drinks a glass at dinner sometimes. 347 00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,546 You know what pairs well with everything? 348 00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,461 Sobriety. 349 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,942 My aunt takes edibles the doctor prescribed for her glaucoma. 350 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,683 I guess that would be an exception 351 00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,816 if it is for medical reasons. 352 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,601 So, you're saying some drugs are better than others? 353 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,124 I would not say better. 354 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,605 But some are definitely worse than others. 355 00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,868 Well, then, what's the least bad drug? 356 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,739 All substances are bad. 357 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,480 But if you had to pick one... 358 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,786 Cigarettes, I guess. 359 00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,744 No! No! [ Scoffs ] 360 00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:56,096 So if I had to pick one thing to do if my life depended on it, 361 00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,097 it should be cigarettes? 362 00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,925 No! Maybe weed? 363 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,491 - Hoo, buddy. - The hell? 364 00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:01,841 Let's end this, guys. 365 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,973 According to CNN...Uh, fake news. 366 00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,670 Okay, now you got my attention. 367 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,586 ...alcohol was illegal during the Prohibition era, 368 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,111 and we're seeing the same renaissance now with marijuana. 369 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,852 You know where they don't have a marijuana problem? 370 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,592 The Third World, 371 00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:16,072 where kids can't just Google whatever they want, 372 00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,421 because they're busy making the phones. 373 00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:18,683 Okay, alright--It just seems like 374 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,511 most drugs aren't that bad. 375 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:23,166 Fine, you can smoke a little! Just don't do opioids! 376 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,559 My grandfather's on opioids. 377 00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:26,213 Drugs from a doctor are okay. 378 00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,779 My mom's on Valtrex. 379 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,346 That's fine. Your mom has herpes. 380 00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:30,521 - Hey! - Wow. 381 00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:31,958 Lady, are you high? 382 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,569 Caroline: Uh--[ Coughing ] 383 00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:36,832 Whoo! Alright! 384 00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:39,574 When I say "this," you say, "went well." 385 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:42,446 This. Went well. 386 00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:45,014 Hey, okay. Ah, peace. 387 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:50,846 Ava: [ Over P.A. ] Attention, Abbott Elementarians-- 388 00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,587 Due to the district mandate, we will now be performing 389 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,154 mandatory locker, bag, and cubby searches. 390 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,851 In addition to searches, 391 00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:58,723 we are also reinforcing the zero-tolerance policy. 392 00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:02,031 Any substance found will end in a mandatory two-day suspension. 393 00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:04,381 Okay... Any discussion of illicit substances 394 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,731 will result in disciplinary action. 395 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:09,734 This applies to students and teachers. 396 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,825 [ Sighs ] It's bad enough 397 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,436 I got to make announcements sounding like a cop. 398 00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,177 Now I got to be a judge and hand out a sentence. 399 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,831 According to this, I got to suspend Curtis. 400 00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,877 Well, that's how it goes. 401 00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:24,575 You bring a substance in, you get suspended. 402 00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,577 This seems like overkill, to do all this 403 00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,884 without even having an honest conversation with Curtis 404 00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,103 or any of our students. 405 00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:32,627 Well, that's the system for ya. 406 00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:35,673 We're not allowed to say anything except "drugs are bad." 407 00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:39,068 It just all seems ridiculous. Okay, Curtis is a great kid. 408 00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,070 He's an "A" student. He doesn't bother anyone. 409 00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:43,333 It's kind of uncharacteristic that he smokes. 410 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,075 Smokes or smoked? 411 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,164 Do we even know if he's done this before? 412 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,256 We let this thing get so out of control, 413 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:57,086 we forgot to ask the boy what happened. 414 00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,567 So I guess I got to suspend him? 415 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,612 Hold on, okay? Let me talk to him. 416 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,266 He's been spending a lot of time in my classroom, 417 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:04,789 and I think he's comfortable with me. 418 00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:07,053 I'll go with you. As a former child smoker, 419 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,837 I can probably cough up some advice. 420 00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,056 [ Laughs ][ Door opens ] 421 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,709 [ Coughs ] 422 00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:16,801 See? It's not funny. 423 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,239 Janine: ...steps to make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen anymore. 424 00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:20,980 Feel like some direction... 425 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,853 Uh, some direction from the school district-- 426 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,246 Everything okay? 'Cause, Janine, 427 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:28,335 I know you love to return a wave. 428 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,598 Yeah, everything's fine. I love the sub. 429 00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:34,036 [ Chuckles ] And her methods, and her ways. 430 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,691 - Yeah, I have no concerns. - Spill the peas. 431 00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,823 She's just doing things differently than I would, okay? 432 00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:39,955 And that's all I'll say. 433 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,654 She is teaching grammar out of order, 434 00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:46,309 and it is chaos, and other things, too. It's-- 435 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,181 Would you believe it if I told you 436 00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:51,140 that when you first started, I found that some of your ways 437 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,534 of teaching were a bit unorthodox? 438 00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:56,232 Uh, no, because that belief interferes 439 00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,886 with my perception of reality, so... 440 00:16:57,886 --> 00:17:01,150 Janine, every teacher has their own style. 441 00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:02,978 You do things differently than Melissa. 442 00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:05,459 Melissa does things differently than me. 443 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,200 I know, but it's my class. 444 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,811 It was your class. 445 00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,031 It's not your class right now. 446 00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,687 Okay. Okay. 447 00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:18,515 But did you know that she took the "I" out of her name 448 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:19,951 and just goes by Jessca? 449 00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,953 Now, that is foolishness. 450 00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,433 Mm-hmm. These kids nowadays, 451 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,479 - they're just gonna do anything. - I know. 452 00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:28,743 "Hello, students. My name is no longer Miss Barbara. 453 00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:31,659 It's Miss Br-ha-ha-ra."[ Kids giggle ] 454 00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,704 Yeah, yeah. It's absurd. 455 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:34,966 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 456 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:39,188 Am I in trouble? Because I really am sorry. 457 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,103 No, no, we just wanted to talk, hon. 458 00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,714 So, remember when we asked you where you got the loosie? 459 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:46,674 Well, we also want to know why you got it. 460 00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,980 I don't know. Just curious, I guess. 461 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,982 Curiosity is part of being a kid. 462 00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:53,463 Okay, when I was younger, I, uh... 463 00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:57,293 Uh, l-look, you're gonna be presented 464 00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,730 with a lot of things in life, both good and bad, 465 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,819 and we just want to make sure that you're being careful. 466 00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:03,952 I wasn't even gonna do it again. 467 00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:06,998 See, that's great. It took me decades to learn that. 468 00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,696 It was nasty. 469 00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:11,307 Yeah, it is nasty, so don't forget that taste. 470 00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:14,180 Was F.A.D.E. my fault? 471 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,920 No, no, sweetie. 472 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,661 F.A.D.E. is the government's fault. 473 00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,924 [ Chuckles ] 474 00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,796 I really am sorry. 475 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,886 Yeah, we know you are. Why don't you head on back to class? 476 00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,934 I hate that we can't be more honest with them.[ Door opens ] 477 00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:32,763 Me, too. That kid should not be suspended. Ugh. 478 00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:36,593 Maybe he doesn't have to be. 479 00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,771 Hey. Now it's vibe time. 480 00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:43,861 Hey, Jessca. 481 00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,733 So, I just wanted to apologize. 482 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:48,257 Um, while you're here, 483 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:50,085 these kids are your class, not mine, 484 00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,478 and I should not have tried to force 485 00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:53,871 my albeit tried-and-true methods onto-- 486 00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,917 "K," so let me stop you right there, 487 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:59,486 because actually, I'm only signed up to be here this week. 488 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,183 And I won't be returning, 489 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,403 because this week has been exceptionally mid. 490 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:06,971 Oh! So-- Mm. I thought you would, uh-- 491 00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:08,973 I don't know. I just thought you were having a good time, 492 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:12,107 so that's why I wanted to come and, you know, say sorry 493 00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:14,892 for the way I'd been acting, because it wasn't, you know-- 494 00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,504 Yeah, you're talking as if there was some sort of interaction 495 00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,506 I'm supposed to remember, but I don't. 496 00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:21,029 [ Chuckles ] [ Chuckles dryly ] 497 00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,291 Nevertheless... Oh. 498 00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:23,858 ...I accept your apology, 499 00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:27,340 which I'm sure I humbly deserve. 500 00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:28,645 [ Both chuckle ] 501 00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:29,994 Toodle-oo. 502 00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,779 Okay. Oh. Oh, the door. 503 00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:32,606 Toodle-oo. Click it. 504 00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:33,998 [ Door locks ] 505 00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:39,700 I'm gonna be honest. This was a rough week at Abbott. 506 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,310 Uh, sometimes, as a teacher, 507 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,486 there's only so much you're allowed to say. 508 00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:44,792 But that doesn't mean that you can't still be there 509 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,489 for your kids. 510 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:49,144 I remembered that I had an in at the district, 511 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:50,841 and she's gonna speak to the board 512 00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:52,278 and see if she can get Curtis' suspension lifted. 513 00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:54,541 I'm confident she'll get it done. 514 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,891 She always does. 515 00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:59,981 - Thank you. - The truth is, attitudes change. 516 00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,852 And as teachers, we have to figure out 517 00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,420 how to keep an open mind while staying within the bounds. 518 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,205 And the result is, 519 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,598 sometimes we end up learning something ourselves. 520 00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:11,645 You're gonna feel so much better when you just let it go. 521 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:12,994 [ All speaking indistinctly ] Let it go. 522 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,169 - Drop it. - Good, there you go. 523 00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:15,170 - Okay. See? - Very good. 524 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:15,997 - Good job. - Yes! 525 00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,607 There you go! 526 00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:19,043 [ Chanting ] - Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. - Yes. Yes. 527 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:20,436 No! [ All screaming ] 528 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,221 No! Oh, my God! 529 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,005 - Get him out! Get him out! - Jacob. Jacob. Jacob? Relax. 530 00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:25,441 I got it![ All screaming indistinctly ] 531 00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:27,530 - - No! Jacob! - Give it to me! - No! 532 00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:32,840 They say quitting vaping is easy-peasy. Total lie. 533 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,537 Nicotine gum-- I kept accidentally swallowing it. 534 00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,713 Reading Allen Carr's "Easy Way to Stop Smoking," 535 00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:39,238 I was falling asleep and dreaming about smoking. 536 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:43,372 Anyway, I have found a solution that I really think is the one. 537 00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,854 [ Gasps ] 538 00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,290 Hey, didn't you listen to F.A.D.E.? 539 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,813 You can't have vape pens in school. 540 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,598 I buried my vape pen. 541 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,339 This is my Bref. [breath] 542 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:57,125 No vapor, no nicotine, just real natural air. 543 00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:59,040 Damn, they got dumbasses paying for air? 544 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,476 Why didn't I think of that? 545 00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:03,349 Dumbasses? No-- Uh, it was only $200. 546 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,742 And it comes with a lifetime guarantee... 547 00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,267 Wait. 548 00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,400 I got got. 549 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,318 [ Inhaling deeply ] 550 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:21,192 Well, I'll be. 551 00:21:21,192 --> 00:21:23,238 This oxygen is bussin'!