1 00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:03,087 Okay. Thank you, Melanie, 2 00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:06,006 for showing us the inside of your eyelids again. 3 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,758 Okay. Khalil, come on. You're up. 4 00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:09,468 What you got? 5 00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:13,597 For Show-and-Tell, I brought a famous person I saw outside. 6 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:14,724 Come on in. 7 00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,976 Hi, I'm Bradley Cooper. What? 8 00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:20,438 Y-You are Bradley Cooper. Why are you Bradley Cooper? 9 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,106 And why are you here? 10 00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,274 Uh, well, whenever I'm in Philly, 11 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:25,151 you know the deli across the street? 12 00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:27,153 Uh, that's my first stop. My dad used to always take me there. 13 00:00:27,153 --> 00:00:28,404 They have the best hoagies in the city. 14 00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:29,655 [ Chuckles ] 15 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,657 Everybody wanted to take a picture with him, 16 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:34,201 so I figured he was famous. Yeah, you bet he is. 17 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,662 I'm just texting the other teachers, not paps. That's okay. 18 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,956 Anyway, so when my friend here asked me to come by, 19 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,750 I had a minute, so I thought, "What the heck?" 20 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:43,169 If you're famous, are you in "Spider-Man"? 21 00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:44,545 I'm not in "Spider-Man," 22 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,338 but I am in "Guardians of the Galaxy." 23 00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:47,715 No, you're not! 24 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,383 [ As Rocket ] Are you frickin' kiddin' me? 25 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,010 I'm the voice of Rocket Raccoon! 26 00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:52,970 [ Laughter ] 27 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,638 And the face of "Alias." 28 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,349 Not the face of. Yeah, you were the face. 29 00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:58,851 A-And "He's Just Not That Into You." 30 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,978 Well, Janine, that was rude. 31 00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,980 No, I-I mean "He's Just Not That Into You" 32 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,774 is my favorite Bradley Cooper film. 33 00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:05,900 It's more of an ensemble, 34 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,276 but if you think about it, 35 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,652 it's Justin Long's movie. 36 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,654 [ Chuckles ] You crazy, Bradley. 37 00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,657 Oh, I've been a Cooper Trooper since "Wet Hot American Summer." 38 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,493 Well, you look different in person. 39 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:16,619 You don't look famous. 40 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,662 Yeah. Shouldn't your teeth be whiter? 41 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,206 They should, 42 00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:22,166 but I can't whiten them because they're too sensitive. 43 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:24,585 Oh. I just loved you in "The Holdovers." 44 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,505 It was just so heartwarming. 45 00:01:27,505 --> 00:01:29,048 It's "The Hangover," and, no, it's not. 46 00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:31,300 Guys, he's literally in a critically acclaimed film 47 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,802 right now. "Oppenheimer." 48 00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,178 Is that the one about Napoleon? 49 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:36,305 Yes. I don't think so. I'm not in "Oppenheimer." 50 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:38,682 Are you sure? Everybody was in "Oppenheimer." 51 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:39,600 Yeah. 52 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,811 Why are there cameras here? 53 00:01:41,811 --> 00:01:43,938 It's a long story, Brad. Bradley. 54 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,689 Um, but, hey, since we have you-- 55 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,442 Okay, I-I do you have to get that hoagie, so, um... 56 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,777 but this-- this was so much fun, 57 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,195 and does Khalil get an "A"? 58 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,696 Oh, hell yeah, he does. 59 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,365 Um, can you stay and take just one picture before you go? 60 00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:55,741 Yeah, of course. Okay. Thank you. 61 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:58,369 Let's do it. Ooh! Get in, get in, get in. 62 00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:00,329 Hey. This is so exciting. 63 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,289 I can't wait to tell everyone at the district. 64 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,791 Oh, you work at the school district? Yeah. 65 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,168 Oh, you know that these schools are criminally underfunded? 66 00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,753 It's proven every-- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm working on it. 67 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,380 Let's just take the picture. Okay. 68 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,381 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 69 00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:12,508 {\an8}[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 70 00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:20,766 {\an8}♪ 71 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,270 {\an8}Jacob: Look, guys, I don't know. 72 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:27,106 {\an8}She just said she's "dropping by with a special surprise." 73 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,774 {\an8}Wait, who's coming? Janine? 74 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,067 {\an8}It's not too late to leave, y'all. 75 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,027 {\an8}She can't annoy us if we're not here. [ Chuckles ] 76 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:35,406 {\an8}Hello! Hi, everyone! Sorry we're late. 77 00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:39,201 {\an8}But do notice that we are a we, which is exciting. 78 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,412 {\an8}Please meet Joan from the city. 79 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,330 {\an8}And you'll remember Elizabeth Washington 80 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,082 {\an8}from the Education Board. 81 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,084 {\an8}Okay, what's up? 'Cause last time she was here, 82 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:50,004 {\an8}I had to eulogize Gregory at the Educator of the Year thing. 83 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,047 {\an8}There's my star. 84 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:54,925 {\an8}Hey, you never sent me thank you flowers. [ Laughs ] 85 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,302 {\an8}This is my nightmare. 86 00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,387 {\an8}Literally, she's my sleep paralysis demon. 87 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:01,515 {\an8}Abbott Elementary is set to be designated 88 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:05,936 {\an8}as a historical landmark in the city of Philadelphia. 89 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,646 {\an8}We're gonna be a historical place? 90 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,565 {\an8}Cha-ching! [ Laughs ] 91 00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:10,524 {\an8}What? 92 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,775 {\an8}It comes with a discretionary fund 93 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,319 {\an8}for structural upkeep. 94 00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:14,528 {\an8}Yeah, that's true. 95 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,572 {\an8}My great aunt's pastrami shop got designated 96 00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:19,033 {\an8}'cause Dick Clark looked through the window once. 97 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:21,285 {\an8}We've always known how special Abbott is, 98 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:23,412 {\an8}but now we're historic. 99 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:24,830 {\an8}Like the "Rocky" stairs. 100 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:27,625 {\an8}Not quite, as Rocky is a fictional character. 101 00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:28,918 {\an8}How about we throw you down those stairs, 102 00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:30,377 {\an8}and you can see how fictional they feel?! 103 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,338 {\an8}I think she just means like the home of Betsy Ross. 104 00:03:32,338 --> 00:03:33,631 {\an8}Right? Okay. 105 00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:34,924 {\an8}Oh, my God, guys, 106 00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:37,134 {\an8}we're probably going to be a part of walking tours. 107 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,886 {\an8}Oh, my gosh. Who's gonna give the tour? 108 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,179 {\an8}Uh, okay. I'll do it. Barbara: Okay. 109 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:43,557 {\an8}Abbott is certainly old, but historic? 110 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,893 {\an8}Willard R. Abbott himself 111 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,980 {\an8}used this very building as a bomb shelter. 112 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,857 It actually turned out to be a false alarm. 113 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,484 Nevertheless, 114 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:56,862 a great man cowered on this hallowed ground. 115 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,864 That's right. We're gonna be famous. 116 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,991 Aah! This is so cool. 117 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:04,662 Working at the district, we treat every school as equal. 118 00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,789 But I always knew Abbott was exceptional. 119 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,165 And now the city agrees. 120 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,584 Eat it, all other schools in the district! 121 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,503 [ Chuckles ] 122 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,171 You'll cut that part out, right? 123 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,215 Attention Abbott Elementarians... 124 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,342 it's your captain, Principal Coleman, speaking. 125 00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:19,927 If you're learning, stop. 126 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,971 Abbott Elementary, the school that I raised, 127 00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:24,473 is becoming a Philly historical landmark. 128 00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,850 There will be a plaque ceremony honoring our school's 129 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,894 namesake, Willard R. Abbott. 130 00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,562 And if that sounds old and dusty to you, 131 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,648 the district is also throwing a pre-party 132 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:34,024 for us and the neighborhood. 133 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,985 We're partying on the district's tab. 134 00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:37,569 Oh, and there will be pizza. 135 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,780 [ All cheering ] 136 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,532 You're welcome. 137 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:43,492 Just imagine how many people are gonna be posing 138 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,119 with peace signs out by the plaque. 139 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,705 Oh, no. People do finger hearts now. Like that. 140 00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,790 I have to admit, this is impressive. 141 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,166 I already feel more distinguished. 142 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,876 You can't even spell "distinguished." 143 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,670 [ Laughs ] 144 00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:57,548 [ Clears throat ] Barbara, Melissa. 145 00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,883 That was your, uh, "This is amazing look," huh? 146 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,051 Right? 147 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,886 I'm so happy you're happy. 148 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:03,721 But? 149 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,097 No but. There's a but. 150 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,557 I can feel a but. 151 00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:08,308 Damn. You freaky. 152 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,727 [ Door opens ] 153 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,395 But... I knew it. 154 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,897 ...Janine, this is just local politics. 155 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,108 It's got nothing to do with our school. 156 00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:17,568 Melissa: Yeah. Plus this is Philly. 157 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,695 I mean, you can't hock a loogie without hitting 158 00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,447 something historic around here. 159 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,157 Oh, my God, please. 160 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:26,326 Just one parade without Barbara clouds and Melissa meatballs. 161 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,287 [ Scoffs ] You wish it rained my meatballs. 162 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,748 And let me remind you, you asked. 163 00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:32,374 Uh, yes, but that was before 164 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,959 when I thought I would like to answer. 165 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,003 No one is saying that meaningless accolades 166 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,213 can't be a win-win, but... 167 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:41,717 No, it's more like a don't care... ...don't care. 168 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,094 Like I said, 169 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:48,307 I am so happy you are happy. 170 00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:50,726 Yeah, we're ecstatic. For you. 171 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,019 Okay, well, that's good, 172 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,021 because it is objectively cool 173 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,774 that Abbott won't be able to be overlooked anymore. 174 00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:59,943 You know? We're finally getting the recognition we deserve. 175 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,820 You can't even spell "deserve." 176 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,405 [ Laughs ] 177 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,740 [ Upbeat music playing ] There you go. 178 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,200 Ooh! Hey. 179 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,452 "I 'heart' Willard R. Abbott" cupcakes! You know it. 180 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,621 To match my "I 'heart' Willard R. Abbott" shirt. 181 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:11,914 I love that. Gregory: You know, I really admire 182 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,207 the commitment to the middle initial, 183 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:14,792 but does anyone know what the "R" stands for? 184 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,126 Uh, maybe Rashid? 185 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,087 No. Probably-- Probably Robert. 186 00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:22,132 Hello, Abbott Elementary and community! 187 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,176 My name is Elizabeth Washington, 188 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,637 and I am the Chief Education Officer. 189 00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:29,473 I want to thank you all so much for joining us 190 00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:30,557 at this press opp-- 191 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,476 [ Clears throat ] ...party. 192 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:33,644 Party. 193 00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,979 And I want to welcome my mentee 194 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,482 and Abbott's own Janine Teagues 195 00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:41,485 to the stage for opening remarks. 196 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,862 [ Applause ] 197 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:49,409 Um, thank you. Thank you, Elizab-- 198 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,870 Thank you, Elizabeth, and thank you, everyone, 199 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:54,414 for joining us in this celebration. 200 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,668 We have always known how special Abbott Elementary is, 201 00:06:57,668 --> 00:07:02,422 but we are grateful that what we know will now be set in stone. 202 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,591 That's a plaque pun. [ Snorts ] 203 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:05,676 Thank you, Joan. 204 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:08,345 [ Chuckles ] Yeah. 205 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:11,181 And, finally, I'm gonna give a posthumous thank you 206 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:14,852 to Abbott Elementary's namesake, Willard R. Abbott, 207 00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:18,230 who famously crawled these very halls 208 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,440 in a historical manner. 209 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,192 Thank you. We love you, Willard! 210 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,443 Elizabeth: Hey! Yes! 211 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,238 Hey. H-Hey, Willard R. Abbott was a racist. 212 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,698 [ Spectators gasp ] 213 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,951 Oh, my. Okay. So, we can't just shout things out 214 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,162 because it's fun to shout. It's true! 215 00:07:33,162 --> 00:07:34,413 Know your history! 216 00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:36,206 Okay. That's-- Easy. 217 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:39,418 I want everybody to just calm down and take a breath... 218 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:42,212 Well, now we know what the "R" stands for. ...and then welcome, uh, 219 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,131 dialoguing and different poin-- 220 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:49,428 And when you say racist, you mean like racist racist? 221 00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:51,889 One racist is racist enough, don't you think? 222 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,391 I'm sorry. B.L.A.C.K.S.? What does that even stand for? 223 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,561 {\an8}Building Love And Creating Kids Safety, obviously. 224 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,396 And don't be trying to change the subject. 225 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,481 Now, Willard R. Abbott was a city planner 226 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,151 and his city plan was to uphold segregation 227 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,195 while red lining all of Philadelphia. 228 00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,197 Oh, my God. How did I not know that? 229 00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:09,656 Am I bad at history? 230 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:12,284 They have all kind of methods for rewriting legacies. 231 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,703 You know, like getting schools named after themselves. 232 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,079 I guess we shouldn't be surprised 233 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,081 that a white man of that era was racist. 234 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:21,293 And so none of you thought to, like, background-check this guy? 235 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,878 Are you even from Philadelphia? 236 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,588 Yeah, I mean, Joan, did you know about this? 237 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,965 Oh, yes, absolutely. 238 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,217 Janine: Guess that tracks. 239 00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:29,593 There are a lot of landmarks in this city 240 00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:30,761 honoring bad men. 241 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:32,971 And women. No, wait. No. 242 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,098 Ever been on Columbus Boulevard? 243 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,142 Literal state of "Penn"-sylvania. 244 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:40,103 Franklin Bridge, Franklin Court, Franklin Institute. 245 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:41,313 My uncle Franklin. 246 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,981 A lot of eggs in that Franklin basket. 247 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,691 This is the nature of history. 248 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,943 It's not all good. 249 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,527 I'm so mad... 250 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,612 at you! 251 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,364 Damn, why did you have to bring this up? 252 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:53,033 Okay, w-what if we change the school's name to... 253 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,577 um... blanking on people who aren't problematic. 254 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,704 "Doin' Just Fine" Elementary. 255 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,832 We already have 100 school names and mascots 256 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,542 already in line for a makeover, 257 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,337 and the ones that are racist without having to Google 258 00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,672 are priority. 259 00:09:06,672 --> 00:09:09,091 And you're looking at at least three to five years. 260 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,843 I'm sorry, Janine. This is too messy. We're out. 261 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:12,970 No, wait. My clout! 262 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,471 Wait, uh, what if, uh... what if-- 263 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,014 Melissa: There's no "what if." 264 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,600 A stupid designation is not gonna change anything 265 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,685 about this school. 266 00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:20,978 Barbara: We didn't have one yesterday. 267 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:22,312 We don't have one today. 268 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,189 But look on the bright side. 269 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,149 The kids got pizza! 270 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,609 Let's just leave it at that. 271 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:31,446 Guys, if we give up now, we're named after a racist 272 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,490 and we don't have a plaque. 273 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,492 Level with me, Liz. What can we do? 274 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,495 Well, I mean, the plaque is already made, so you're out of luck. 275 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:42,666 Unless you can find another Willard R. Abbott of note 276 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,043 and say that the school is named after him. 277 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,169 Janine can do that. I can do that. 278 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,379 Oh, wow. 279 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:50,132 Uh, so is it not clear I was joking? 280 00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,509 Oh, so racism's a laughing matter? Mm-hmm. 281 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:56,013 [ Scoffs ] Of course not. Great. 282 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,639 So if my minions can find a better Abbott, 283 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:58,724 can we have the money? 284 00:09:58,724 --> 00:09:59,933 Because I've already mentally spent it 285 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,518 on zip ties, beans, and birth control, 286 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:02,936 and there's no returns in the apocalypse. 287 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,439 She means, does Abbott get the recognition it deserves? 288 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:07,566 I [sighs] I guess so. 289 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,360 Chop, chop! To the library! 290 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,445 Yeah. 291 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:15,073 Go help her! Damn! 292 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,992 What if she needs to reach a book on the middle shelf? 293 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,582 Okay, well, there are definitely more Willard R. Abbotts 294 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:24,875 than I expected. 295 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:27,336 Oh, Abbott used to have an indoor pool. 296 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:28,754 Wait, no. 297 00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:30,339 Apparently the basement flooded in '63 298 00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,424 and they just didn't drain it until '71. 299 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,467 Oh, God. 300 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,885 Oh. Wow. 301 00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,636 Look at this picture from the district archives. 302 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,722 Hmm. I didn't know Abbott had Black teachers back then. 303 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,307 I didn't know Philly did. 304 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,225 Okay, trailblazing. Hold on. 305 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:45,645 Did Abbott have a real-life owl as a mascot back in the '80s? 306 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,980 Keep reading. 307 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,441 "World's most rabid owl discovered in local school." 308 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,026 Yeah, that makes sense now. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 309 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:51,902 Oh! Ohh. 310 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:53,653 How does a book smell bad? 311 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,572 I cannot wait to get my librarian program 312 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,199 off the ground. 313 00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:58,700 Library program? 314 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,453 Yeah. Did I not tell you? 315 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:04,623 Sorry. I've been so busy. 316 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,625 Okay, team, I'm gonna go see 317 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,168 if I can rustle up anything in admin. 318 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,211 Alright. 319 00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:10,962 Jacob: Look. Research? Absolutely. 320 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,799 But between us, Janine and Gregory... 321 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,342 [ Chuckles ] 322 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:18,762 ...they're like a handsome moth to a cutie-patootie flame. 323 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,764 They've given: they will. They've given: they won't. 324 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,766 Now they're giving: two people that kissed 325 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:25,852 but decided to just be friends for some Godforsaken reason. 326 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,437 So, yeah. 327 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:30,273 Figured they should have some time alone. 328 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,776 So... 329 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:33,985 how has it been at the district? 330 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,279 Oh, it's been great, actually. 331 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,697 Been learning a lot. 332 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,950 It's different, though. Clean. 333 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,619 Isn't that a good thing? You know, you'd think, 334 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:45,539 but I just miss Abbott's ambience. 335 00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,374 Our dirt has a certain... 336 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,458 "Janine" sais quoi. 337 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,837 [ Both laugh ] 338 00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:54,464 So, your, uh-- your library program... 339 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,465 Mm-hmm. 340 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:56,800 ...will there be microfiche? 341 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,301 Of course not. 342 00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,846 Never mind. That would be nuts, right? 343 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,806 Yes, Gregory, that would be nuts. 344 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,642 Yeah, I know. I know. But that's amazing, though. 345 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,436 Thanks. Look at you, 346 00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,688 programming stuff and taking names. 347 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:12,983 You're absurd... and thank you. 348 00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,484 I'm absurd? Yes. 349 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,319 You're the one with a pin that's a game of tic-tac-toe. 350 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,321 I like this. Yeah, I know you do. 351 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,823 Guys! Guys! I found something. 352 00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,158 Both: What? 353 00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:23,994 Well, I found an idea, like, in my head. 354 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,120 Willy! 355 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,496 You can't just say Willy all willy-nilly. 356 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,124 What is...? Short for Willard. 357 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,750 Okay. We searched for Willard R. Abbott 358 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,463 and Bill Abbott, but we didn't search for Willy. 359 00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:37,424 Willy is insane, but okay. 360 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:43,180 Oh, my God, Willy Abbott, AKA Willard R. Abbott V. 361 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,473 He's a direct descendant. 362 00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:47,559 Environmental philanthropist. Seems promising. 363 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,852 He funds environmental research 364 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,520 and he works to combat misinformation. 365 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,564 He's-- He's-- He's basically a hero! 366 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:53,732 Okay. Alright, keep looking. 367 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,442 Let's make sure that he's squeaky clean. 368 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,527 He wrote a Medium article... Oh, no. 369 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:58,945 ...denouncing the racist views 370 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,739 of his great-great-grandfather and namesake, 371 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:03,033 Willard R. Abbott! Hot damn! 372 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,243 He has a contact form on his website. 373 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,662 Let's free Willy. Let's just e-mail him, yeah? 374 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,622 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 375 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,667 [ Indistinct conversations ] 376 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,252 So, what are we thinking racism-wise? 377 00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,587 I can't tell by his outfit. 378 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:18,548 [ Chuckles ] Good find. He's a charmer. 379 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,883 Thank you guys so much for coming back 380 00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,218 and giving us another shot. 381 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:23,428 Well, the plaque was very expensive, yeah. Yep. 382 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,305 But, um, seems legit. We vetted him. 383 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,765 [ Melissa scoffs ] 384 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:30,310 At the district, "vet" means checked for a pulse. 385 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,063 You know, another pass wouldn't hurt. 386 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,731 Especially with his demographic. 387 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,900 Ask him if he thinks the moon is a spaceship. 388 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,235 You know what? I'll handle this. 389 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:41,947 Oh. Hey, Willy, how you doing? 390 00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:44,241 So, I wanted to ask you a couple of questions. 391 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,660 Man, you guys sure are thorough, huh? 392 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,912 Alright. Fill in the blank. "Women are..." 393 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,331 Great leaders. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 394 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,707 Thoughts on birds? 395 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,710 Real. And majestic. 396 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,045 Also, go Birds! 397 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,755 Lifetime season ticket order. Yeah. Okay. 398 00:13:58,755 --> 00:13:59,923 Where were you on January 6th?! 399 00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:00,882 Hey! Have some decorum. 400 00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,134 Oh, my God. Melissa: I got this. 401 00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,594 Well? 402 00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,596 In a coma actually. 403 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,473 'Cause you fell off a wall? 404 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:11,476 Medically induced. Tricky wisdom tooth situation. 405 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,936 [ Chuckles ] That is great. 406 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,813 Okay, let's get you up on stage. Great. 407 00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,274 Alright. 408 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,526 It is time to introduce our guest... 409 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:24,864 ...good guy philanthropist and the name on this plaque, 410 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,951 Willard R. Abbott V. [ Applause ] 411 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,120 Thank you. Thank you, Principal Coleman. 412 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,288 And you can call me Willy. 413 00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:33,081 Willard's actually better for us. 414 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,293 A school as wonderful as this 415 00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:39,504 shouldn't be named after a man like my great-great-grandfather. 416 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:42,048 I've spent my life and career 417 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,383 using family money to try 418 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,553 and fight environmental prejudice and inequality, 419 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,806 to right the wrongs of Abbott's past. 420 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,392 [ Scattered applause ] And I accept this honor... 421 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,477 with that pledge in mind. 422 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,730 The world is such a beautiful place, 423 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,732 and we want to keep it that way. 424 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:02,235 This planet is in desperate need of saving. 425 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,404 [ Applause ] 426 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,157 And there is no place for racism 427 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:11,119 from one edge of the Earth all the way to the other. 428 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,912 Now, I don't claim to know all, 429 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:18,209 but I do know that this flat Earth is our home for now. 430 00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,419 Excuse me, what? 431 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,046 Yeah. Alright. Let's, um... 432 00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:23,131 Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let him cook. 433 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:26,760 The gravity of this situation is undeniable, 434 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,303 even though gravity itself isn't real. 435 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:30,972 Okay. [ Laughs nervously ] [ Spectators murmuring ] 436 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,141 This is all Janine's fault. 437 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,559 The Earth is flat? 438 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,519 Yes. No, no, no. No. The Earth is a globe. 439 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,687 It is round, students. 440 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,314 Then explain maps. 441 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,190 Okay, let's go. 442 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,066 Okay. 443 00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,442 Janine: No, wait, wait. No. 444 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,944 I'm sorry, Janine. We were never here. 445 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,780 And the moon is a spaceship! 446 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,616 Okay. Told you. Real recognize real. 447 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,786 [ Indistinct conversations ] 448 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,040 You have fun? 449 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,124 Janine. 450 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,418 Don't gloat just yet, please. 451 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,337 I'm going to think of a way to save this. 452 00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,089 Just need to sulk for a second. 453 00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,382 I'm not here to gloat. 454 00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:06,549 Yeah, we already did that 455 00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,176 a few minutes ago behind your back. 456 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:11,721 Janine, we usually understand where it is you're coming from, 457 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:15,266 even if we disagree, but we're not really getting this. 458 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,686 Why are you so obsessed with a plaque? 459 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:19,562 I just love this school so much. 460 00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:22,273 Yes. That's your defining characteristic. 461 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:25,235 I can't be here every day this year, 462 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,612 and so it's just made it more clear, you know? 463 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:30,448 These kids, the people in the community who went here, 464 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:33,993 we all know that this isn't just some school. 465 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,245 It's special. 466 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,288 And I know it was just a plaque, 467 00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:40,291 but... it was validation. 468 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,960 I really wanted that for us. 469 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,878 Well, tell me this. 470 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,923 What makes Abbott special for you? 471 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:50,885 What we teach, what we learn... 472 00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:53,888 the kids, teachers like you two. 473 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:56,433 Exactly. A plaque can't convey that. 474 00:16:56,433 --> 00:17:00,061 Yeah. We don't have to prove our worth to anybody out there. 475 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,147 Plus, somebody would've just stolen that plaque 476 00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:05,275 and melted it down and made, like, the perfect, 477 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:08,862 lightweight meat tenderizer with just a-- a swing... 478 00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,780 like a dream. 479 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,326 I-I guess I just thought it was a chance to do something. 480 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,747 What we do is we teach these remarkable students 481 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:22,125 the best we can with what we have. 482 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,335 And that is what teachers have done here 483 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:26,171 at Abbott since it opened. 484 00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:29,716 There you go. Now that is special enough. 485 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,343 Thanks, guys. 486 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:34,971 I would love to sit in this moment with you, 487 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:37,640 but I just thought of a plan that will fix everything, 488 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,435 ignoring your pleas for me to let it rest. 489 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:41,603 I love you. Bye. 490 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,149 Now, I'll tell you what he should have been nominated for 491 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:47,358 was "Failure to Launch." 492 00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:48,651 I thought that was McConaughey. 493 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,528 It's both of them. That's why-- 494 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:51,821 [ Breathing heavily ] 495 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,239 You know, you don't have to run everywhere. 496 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,866 I wasn't running, but I am excited. 497 00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:56,326 Don't tell me there's a sixth Willard. 498 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:57,452 No. Better. 499 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,454 I'll tell you more when we get there. 500 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,580 Ooh. 501 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:04,167 I thought it was clear we move in a pack. 502 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,544 To the district archives we go! 503 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:10,965 Ooh! 504 00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,970 I don't know why I was waiting for random people to tell us 505 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,514 that Abbott is important. 506 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,890 I'm Janine Teagues, damn it. 507 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,892 I don't wait for anything. 508 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:23,895 Except when it's polite. That's just courtesy. 509 00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:27,857 History happens every day, even when it's overlooked, 510 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:30,860 especially when it's overlooked 511 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:34,572 and I overlooked some, right in front of us. 512 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:38,284 Okay. 513 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,620 Um, let me just... real quick. 514 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,081 Oh. Mm, yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. 515 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:45,792 No news cameras, no blonde women. 516 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,669 What's with all the pomp and circumstance? 517 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,379 [ Clears throat ] 518 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,673 Over a century and a half ago, 519 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:54,342 there were no Black teachers in this city. 520 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:57,178 And in 1862, Banneker Colored School 521 00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,681 hired Philadelphia's first Black teacher 522 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:01,349 in a public school. 523 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,060 He was a pioneer named John Quincy Allen. 524 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,647 Soon after, another school, our school, 525 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:11,401 hired the first group of Black teachers in the city. 526 00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:15,196 They had no idea what history they were making at the time, 527 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:16,948 but that was for us to find out. 528 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,324 And now we know. 529 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:22,287 They came here every day through unimaginable adversity 530 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,913 to teach remarkable students 531 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,666 while doing the very best with what they had. 532 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,919 So we may not have a plaque, but it's okay. 533 00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,462 We don't need one, 534 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:33,923 because it's what's on the inside that counts. 535 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,717 And what's on the inside is us, 536 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:38,428 and there would be no us without them. 537 00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:41,931 [ Applause ] 538 00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,768 That was great, Janine. Thank you. 539 00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,729 Yeah, that was really something, hon. 540 00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:50,607 Yeah, it's a cute picture, 541 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:52,483 but it'd be cuter with some cash on top. 542 00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:55,069 Here is 10 bucks, Ava. Are you happy now? 543 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,779 Yes. 544 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,323 Is that so wrong? 545 00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:04,120 {\an8}Which one do you think was the Jacob? 546 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,121 {\an8}None of them. None of them. 547 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,164 {\an8}Yeah. 548 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,457 {\an8}Both: Oh 549 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:10,251 {\an8}For the last time, stop trying to take my job.