1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,545
Field trip worksheets!
Hot off the press!
2
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,631
What in the hot hell
is this?
3
00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:08,133
Today is thee day--
two E's--
4
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,093
that we go to
Smith Memorial Playground.
5
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,345
We're not gonna be
the only school there,
6
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,430
but we did snag
the last reservations.
7
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,225
And I made worksheets
so that it can be educational.
8
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:19,269
This is gonna be,
like, the best field trip ever.
9
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:22,064
Jacob,
nobody needs this.
10
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:25,275
You pulled off a field trip
with no money and no help.
11
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,652
Baby, relax.
12
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,695
Yeah, we're going to the park.
Kids don't wanna work.
13
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,155
Mnh-mnh.
We don't wanna work.
14
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,615
Ava definitely don't
wanna work.
15
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:32,950
I never do.
16
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,451
And today,
I get to not work
17
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,495
while lounging
in my air chair.
18
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:37,996
I love furniture
that rhymes.
19
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,456
Yeah, so knock it off
with the worksheets
20
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,874
or you're gonna
ruin this trip.
21
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,668
Ah! Morton.
22
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:43,961
For all your flaws,
23
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,922
I know you appreciate
the value of education.
24
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:49,466
Thanks, buddy.
You're a lifesaver.
25
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,475
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
26
00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:06,483
♪
27
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:13,824
One for you.
28
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,909
Oh, here we go.
29
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:18,745
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
30
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,789
I'll see you.
Okay.
31
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,418
Gregory.
32
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,752
I just witnessed
that interaction
33
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,546
between you and Janine.
34
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,172
Putting on
her coat for her
35
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,882
was practically
pornographic.
36
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,176
What's going on, man?
Am I-- Did I miss something?
37
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,345
I'm gonna tell her
how I feel.
Yay!
38
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,431
When I find
the exact right time.
Boo!
39
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,224
Look, I want it to go well
this time.
40
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:40,851
Wait.
Is there a chance
41
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,227
you might do it
on the field trip?
42
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,146
When the time is right,
the time is right.
43
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,355
Whenever that may be.
44
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,816
Oh. On my field trip.
[ Chuckles ]
45
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,860
That's a little like proposing
at somebody else's wedding,
46
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,404
but, you know, lucky for you,
I'm not that kind of bride.
47
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:55,782
[ Sighs ]
48
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,659
None of the kids
want to sit with me.
49
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,453
You confiscate
one water balloon
50
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,580
and you are persona non grata
around here.
51
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,874
Uh, well, as much as
I love a bus buddy,
52
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,459
maybe there's
another open seat
53
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,419
you'd prefer
to sit in.
54
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,672
What are you
talking about?
55
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,591
Let's just say
a little birdie
56
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,259
[coughs] named Gregory
told me that
57
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:17,638
he may have some very
serious feelings for you.
58
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:24,728
Jacob, I need you to tell me
the truth right now.
59
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,980
Did Gregory say that,
60
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,982
or do you have a bird
named Gregory?
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00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,984
My bird's name is Peter,
and you would know that
62
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,444
if you ever came over
to meet her.
63
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:33,820
Basically--
Janine.
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00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,280
Just admit it.
65
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,449
You still like him, right?
66
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,870
Maybe.
67
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,748
Yes. Yes, yes,
yes, yes.
68
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,750
But I already tried to tell him
at the beginning of the year.
69
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,210
Okay, well, you were
different people then.
70
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,628
We all were.
71
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,129
I was in a relationship
and unhappy.
72
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:52,422
And now look at me.
73
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,841
I'm-- I'm single and...
74
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,135
you know, I'm fine.
75
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,096
Just...
[ Clears throat ]
76
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:02,057
Just go talk to him.
Trust me.
77
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:04,851
Okay.
78
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,941
Hey. Oh.
79
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,526
Come here often?
[ Chuckles ]
80
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,194
About once a year.
81
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,029
Me too. Me too.
82
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,740
These field trips,
they usually end in disaster.
83
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,075
It's crazy.
84
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,952
Well, maybe this year's
field trip
85
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,787
can break
our unlucky streak.
86
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:24,788
[ School bus engine starts ]
87
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,915
Next stop-- the park!
88
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,041
Whoo!
89
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,963
Nice to finally have
some peace and quiet, huh?
90
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,590
In my head, things are
as loud as ever.
91
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,008
With no kids around,
92
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,885
I can finally take care
of my to-do list.
93
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,762
But most pressing of all?
94
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,723
All these damn keys
weighing my pants down.
95
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,518
I got duplicates,
triplicates, four...
96
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,353
plicates.
97
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,480
My belt loops are rated
50 pounds or less
98
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,357
and suspenders
are for freaks.
99
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,401
And if you think
the seesaw is cool,
100
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,278
you should check out
the fun facts section of your--
101
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,821
Okay, no one's listening.
102
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,617
My air chair needs air,
and there's no wind.
103
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:03,994
Try running north
to south.
104
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,413
Ms. Schemmenti!
A kid pushed me!
105
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,415
Oh, no.
Are you okay, kiddo?
106
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,250
Which kid?
That kid over there
107
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,252
from the other school.
108
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,796
Oh. Oh.
109
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,007
Hey. How you doing?
110
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,384
So, um, I just was made
to understand
111
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,052
that there was
some sort of incident
112
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,138
where your kid
pushed my kid.
113
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,098
Well, actually,
I was told that
114
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:28,810
your student
shoved my student first, so...
115
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:31,104
Oh. Well,
that's unfortunate.
116
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,398
Why don't we just have
them apologize to each other?
117
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,941
Okay. W-- Sure.
118
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,611
I mean, I guess that's
the right thing to do,
119
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,613
no matter who shoved
the other one first. Go ahead.
120
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,825
Sorry.
Sorry.
121
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,744
Huh?
Yeah.
122
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,037
[ Chuckles ]
It's gonna be a great day.
123
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,371
Yeah.
Yeah.
124
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,290
Melissa: Oh, yeah,
it can get like that
125
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,209
between kids
on the playground sometimes.
126
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,211
Especially right before
snack time.
127
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:57,297
It's like a less violent version
of the "Squid Game."
128
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,257
Gotta tell you,
I'm not loving the 'tude
129
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:01,134
coming off that teacher, though.
130
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,219
Alex, be careful.
131
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,595
Your shoes are untied!
Oh! [ Thuds ]
132
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:04,888
And he's down.
I got Band-Aids.
133
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,139
Oh, no, he's back up.
134
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,265
It's alright.
He's running it off.
135
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,850
That's good.
136
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:12,020
We did a pretty good job of
getting him to like school.
137
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,356
"Like" is a strong word,
but he's here.
138
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,525
What kid would miss
field trip day?
139
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,693
Uh, well... actually,
140
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,904
I hated field trips
as a kid.
141
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:23,281
It meant missing class.
142
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:26,451
Oh, right.
I forgot you're a nerd.
143
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,537
You sing Randy Newman songs
to your plants,
144
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,247
so who's the nerd, really?
145
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,915
[ Chuckles ]
You heard that?
Yeah.
146
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,750
[ Both laugh ]
147
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,214
Do you mind, um,
taking a picture
148
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,715
of me with my kids
in the background?
149
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,300
I barely have any
from the year, so...
150
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,636
Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
151
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,471
Okay, ready?
152
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,889
[ Cellphone chimes ]
153
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,891
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
154
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,311
Janine: Got it?
155
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,105
Yeah.
Yeah?
156
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,690
Thank you.
157
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,029
Um...
158
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,614
Hey,
are you a swinger?
159
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,157
What?
160
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,909
Do you want to go on
the swings?
161
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,286
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
162
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,162
I swing
on the swings.
Swings.
163
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,581
Yeah.
Do you want to do them?
164
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,540
The swings?
Yeah.
165
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,625
Okay.
166
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,918
Melissa: Look at 'em.
167
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,045
Those Liberty kids
keep cutting our kids in line.
168
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,089
Oh. It's just
kids being kids.
169
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,341
See, my student Torian,
he's right up front.
170
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,051
Nobody's cutting--
171
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,344
Ooh, just
wait a minute now.
Hey.
172
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,762
Hold on a second.
Okay, let's--
173
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,306
let's not let this ruin
my big day.
174
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,849
Okay, but you didn't see
what happened
175
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,184
between me and one of
the Liberty teachers earlier.
176
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,020
I am sensing
a pattern here.
177
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,646
Melissa.
Hmm?
178
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,898
I'm going to need some muscle
and a sharp tongue.
179
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,150
Well, let's go then.
Come on.
180
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,192
[ Sighs ]
Hey.
181
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,777
Nice to see you again.
Listen.
182
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,613
Your kids are
on strike two, okay?
183
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,990
'Cause they seem to keep
cutting our kids in line.
184
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,159
What?
That is so interesting
185
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,286
because, see,
our kids are saying
186
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,455
that your kids are hogging
all the saddle spinners.
187
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:55,915
So, I don't know.
Teach your kids to share.
188
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,627
[ Chuckles ]
No need to get snippy here.
189
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,086
Oh, no.
190
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,630
I see where
these Liberty students
191
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:02,797
get their manners.
Mm-hmm.
192
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,132
What was that?
Nothing.
193
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,467
Why don't you watch
your students?
194
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,052
Why don't you, huh?
Yeah, we just,
195
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,595
you know,
want to keep things fair.
196
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,721
Melissa: All right?
Alright, yeah, well, you know,
197
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,097
life's not fair.
Right?
198
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,849
You have to
teach at Abbott, so...
[ Snickers ]
199
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,059
Excuse you?
The audacity!
200
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,186
No, we get
to teach at Abbott.
201
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,855
Huh.
Yeah, I get to be
lactose intolerant.
202
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,607
[ Barbara sighs ]
203
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,567
Jacob: She was being rude.
I get it now.
Thank you.
204
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,111
Okay. I shouldn't punch someone
in the park, right?
No.
205
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,699
Liberty
everywhere you look.
206
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,742
Do they not understand the
meaning of the word "public"?
207
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,077
I'm riled up.
208
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,578
You know, I thought
if anyone was gonna ruin
209
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,081
this field trip for the kids,
it was gonna be you.
210
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,999
Hey, Morton.
Are your students having
211
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,876
any trouble with
these Liberty kids today?
212
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,586
I honestly
have no idea.
213
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,338
I've been angrily texting
my ex-wife all morning.
214
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,215
She thinks she should
get the grill.
215
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,800
What's a woman gonna
do with a grill?
216
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,426
You're scum.
217
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,388
Listen, these Liberty teachers
must be stopped.
218
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,806
Ava: [ Scoffs ]
Y'all need to let it go.
219
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,516
It's not that deep.
220
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,059
I'm trying to listen to
an oral history
221
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,477
on the history
of oral histories,
222
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,354
and I can't hear it
over all y'all pettiness.
223
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,563
Oh.
224
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,981
Liberty Teacher:
Little help?
225
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,109
Hey, uh, that's our ball.
Toss it back.
226
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,443
Just as far
as you can.
227
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,779
I don't want you
to hurt yourself.
228
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,448
It has got to be done.
229
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,285
- Whoa!
- Come on.
230
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,121
Seriously?
Melissa: Slow down.
231
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,790
You don't want
to hurt yourself.
232
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,333
[ Laughs ]
233
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,168
How have we
not talked about this?
234
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,503
We haven't?
No.
235
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,004
Yeah, my favorite color
is green.
236
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,339
I'm a green guy.
Wow.
237
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,299
Green for your
green thumb?
Mm-hmm.
238
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,301
Okay. And my favorite color
is blue.
239
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,303
Uh-huh.
No synthetic, though.
240
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,222
Okay.
You know, blue,
like, found in nature.
241
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,891
Like fish or Smurfs.
242
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,977
Can we get a turn?
243
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,353
Yeah. Sorry.
Oh, yeah.
244
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,396
Okay.
245
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,777
Will only be a while.
246
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,199
You know, if you could go
faster, that would be great.
247
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,577
I'm all the way down
to no excuses.
248
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,413
Oh. Ugh.
249
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,331
Bug.
250
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,296
Take your time
and be safe.
251
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,089
You want to keep your momentum
going so you don't get stuck.
252
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,383
You know what? A little bit
of help here, please.
Oh. Alright.
253
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,427
Here you go. Okay.
254
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,304
Thank you.
255
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,306
Whew!
Saved my life.
256
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,308
I don't know
about that.
No, you did.
257
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,684
With my height,
that's the equivalent
258
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,770
of a two-story fall.
Okay.
259
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,813
I guess I did
save your life then.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
260
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:26,816
Pick that up from that EMT
you've been hanging out with?
261
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,611
Maybe.
Is that bad?
262
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,197
No. Happy you
learned something.
263
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:36,785
It's nice to just have
a day with the kids and Gregory.
264
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,870
Feels good.
265
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,039
Feels great.
266
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,416
Ava doesn't like anyone
going down there.
267
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,251
The basement? Why?
268
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,586
I don't know.
269
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,004
But I see her going down
there all the time.
270
00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:00,475
Keys were bad enough,
now we've got numbers?
271
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,229
What the hell.
Let's try...
272
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,272
6-9-6-9.
273
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,274
[ Door unlocks ]
[ Chuckles ]
274
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,986
69% of the time
it works 69% of the time.
275
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,449
Well, I'll be.
276
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,201
[ Chimes ]
277
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,370
Robot Toilet:
Hello, Ms. Coleman.
278
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,579
It's Mr. Johnson,
but you're gonna learn that
279
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:22,997
the hard way.
280
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,082
[ Chuckles ]
281
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,130
Okay, kiddos,
come on, let's go
282
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,589
get us our lunch
and get in the shade.
283
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,134
Oh, thank goodness.
Let's get out of this sun.
284
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,262
Oh!
285
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,014
We had to move
your little lunches.
286
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,100
I hope it's not a problem.
287
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,185
Student: Oh!
288
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:47,230
That was supposed
to be our spot.
289
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:50,400
They threw our lunches
into the sun!
290
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,027
I have never known
evil like that,
291
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,196
and I have been
to a Cowboys home game.
292
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,866
You two!
Where have you been?
293
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,284
We're at war here.
294
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,119
War?
With the park?
295
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,329
Gregory, uh, walk with me
for a moment.
296
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,706
I could--
I could use some air.
297
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,915
We're already outside.
298
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,458
Well,
then it won't take long.
299
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,878
Gregory: Okay, so what's this
about a war?
300
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,046
You're a peacetime teacher,
Gregory. This isn't for you.
301
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,048
I merely wanted
you alone to ask
302
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,550
how the bus chat went.
303
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,594
Was it the right time?
No, not yet.
304
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,429
We were having a really good
time by the swings,
305
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,889
but then, while I was
taking a picture of her,
306
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,099
Manny sent her a text
asking her to go to dinner.
307
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,601
Oh, no.
Not the beard.
308
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,103
That's what's different.
I don't care about the text.
309
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,398
If anything, it just motivates
me more to tell her how I feel.
310
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,649
My man.
311
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,151
So...
312
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,448
Next time we're alone,
it's happening.
313
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,241
Wow.
314
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,910
It's like
a Hallmark movie.
315
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,286
Janine is the city girl,
316
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:44,746
and you're
the rough-and-tumble guy
317
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:45,663
who tends a garden,
318
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:48,124
and I am the guy...
319
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,626
watching that movie.
320
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,673
You know, hot PB&J
is considered a delicacy
321
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:56,883
in a lot of places.
322
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,177
It's like a panini, basically.
323
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,471
[ Muffled ]
So, we're being fancy.
324
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,973
Ha! Y'all did this
to y'all selves.
325
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,267
Ava, you're deflating.
326
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,354
Hey, how are your warm,
toasty sandwiches?
327
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,230
What'd you say
about our sandwiches?
328
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,316
You know what?
Why don't we just not interact
329
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,360
for the rest
of the afternoon?
330
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,445
We are about to take
our students to the slide.
331
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,989
So you all
have a nice day.
332
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,659
Actually, we're going to
the slide right now, so...
333
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,118
Say what?
Ava: Oh, my God.
334
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,828
Let it go.
335
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,413
This is stupid
playground beef.
336
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,290
Y'all are being more childish
than the kids.
337
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,125
Soror!
338
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,086
Crystal?
339
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,923
Crystal.
This is your school?
340
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,466
This is my school.
341
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,593
Okay, let's fight
these bitches.
342
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,637
A soror war.
343
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:45,264
You and your teachers have been
messing with my school all day.
344
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:48,309
Before, when it had no effect
on me, I was disengaged.
345
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,686
But now that my podcast
has ended
346
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,813
and my chair is deflated,
this is personal.
347
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,189
It's time to end this.
348
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,691
And how do you suppose
we do that?
349
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:55,942
Relay race!
350
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,236
[ Students cheering ]
351
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,196
Winner takes all!
352
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:03,282
The slide
and the pride!
353
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,119
Yeah!
So just those two things!
354
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,455
I guess you're forgetting
I was on the track team.
355
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,791
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
I know you a runner.
356
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,459
That's a Chicago term
for a ho.
357
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,253
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
358
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,046
Ebonics, or AAVE,
it changes from state to state.
Jacob, mnh-mnh.
359
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,718
Today, these two crews--
Abbott Elementary...
360
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,803
And Liberty Rings!
361
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,724
[ Liberty students cheering ]
[ Abbott students booing ]
362
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,225
...will battle it out--
363
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,270
will battle it out
park style.
364
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,439
A relay race through
the playground.
365
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,107
You all know the risks.
366
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,442
It's what you
signed up for.
367
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:41,446
And winner gets dibs
on the big wooden slide.
368
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,239
[ All students cheering ]
Yes!
369
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,702
Alright, here we go.
Here we go. Let's go.
370
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,079
Why?! You don't know
how to light it!
This is kinda nice.
371
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,664
Big slide
all to ourselves.
Mm.
372
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,584
Our kids are so excited
about the relay race.
373
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,461
So are our adults.
[ Chuckles ]
374
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,796
So... should we slide?
375
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,715
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
376
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:01,966
Yeah, use the oven.
Whatever.
377
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,384
Janine: Thanks.
378
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,094
Have you sliden before?
379
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,637
Um, no.
Oh!
380
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,014
No, I don't typically.
381
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,932
Clear eyes, full hearts,
382
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,517
elbows out, hip checks,
whatever it takes.
383
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,935
Mm-hmm.
Let's be aggressive
out there.
384
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,353
Wait. Where's
Janine and Gregory?
385
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,022
Oh, who cares? Janine will
just slow us down.
386
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,356
She's got little limbs.
387
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,442
And let's be real-- Gregory's
never really been one of us.
388
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,195
Look.
We need everybody.
389
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,614
I can't carry this team
all by myself.
390
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,532
Alright.
Fine. I'll go find them.
391
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,242
Thank you.
392
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,661
You ready?
Born ready.
393
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,040
[ Both laugh ]
394
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,003
[ Sighs ]
395
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:53,101
Look, Janine, um...
396
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,727
I wanted to tell you...
397
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:58,064
Now, what the hell's
going on here?
398
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,691
Sorry. I had to take a call
from my ex-wife.
399
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,193
I wasn't talking
to you.
400
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,695
Ugh. Never date someone
you work with.
401
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,656
Wait. What'd you say?
It's a long story.
402
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,533
No, please.
403
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,368
Some of us
need to hear it.
404
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:12,912
Well, me and my ex-wife,
we were both teachers.
405
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,539
Our classes were right next
to each other.
406
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:15,998
We eventually got there.
407
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,959
Ooh.
Sounds so familiar.
408
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,502
Did you take it to HR?
409
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:20,878
'Cause when I used to date
the other cashier
410
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,797
at Cold Stone Creamery,
policy stated
411
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:25,007
if we didn't report it, they
wouldn't like it or love it.
412
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,718
In fact, they gotta have it
reported to HR.
413
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,012
Or it would have been berry,
berry, berry bad.
414
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,806
Well, we did.
415
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,808
And they warned us,
but we ignored it.
Mm.
416
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,977
And at first, everything
was wonderful, a dream.
417
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,812
But then things got rocky.
418
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,814
We fought, and there was
no escape from it.
419
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,315
That's right.
420
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,609
Home, school,
the lunch room, recess,
421
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,612
field trips, parks, slides.
422
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,447
She was just there.
423
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,907
Always there.
424
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,201
I eventually had to
change schools,
425
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,412
take less money,
crappy studio apartment,
426
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:55,830
forced to work
with Mr. Hill.
Oof.
427
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,832
I feel that.
428
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,626
And now
I have several ulcers.
429
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,044
Mm-hmm.
430
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,796
All because
I dated a coworker.
431
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,549
Mm, mm, mm.
Thank you, Mr. Morton.
432
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:09,302
It was illuminating
for all of us.
433
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,096
Now, if you two will stop acting
like a couple of school kids,
434
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,015
we gotta go win
a relay race.
435
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,069
Thanks.
436
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,070
Yeah.
437
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,365
I've been thinking
so much about it going right,
438
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,577
I made the mistake of
not considering it going wrong.
439
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,497
So I have to hold off.
440
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,085
But Jacob's right, though.
Morton sucks.
441
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,671
I'm 20 pounds lighter
and finally done.
442
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,216
My pants won't have to
sag anymore.
443
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,134
I couldn't find a match
for this last one.
444
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,053
So it's going in the trash.
445
00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:00,353
Oops. Forgot my car keys.
446
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,071
[ Sighs ] [Bleep]
447
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,197
Everyone know
what they're doing?
448
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,199
Wait.
I want the monkey bars.
449
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,576
What, you got a bet
on the other team or something?
450
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,578
Janine, I really
don't think--
No, no, no, I can do it.
451
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,247
She can.
452
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,207
Fine. Gregory, you got
the tricycle thing.
453
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,042
So "tri-not" to
mess it up.
454
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,919
Melissa:
Okay, okay, okay.
455
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,254
Let's get it!
456
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,256
Let's have a good,
clean race.
457
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,424
Clean? Girl, I knew you
in college.
458
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,927
On your mark... get set...
459
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,011
go!
460
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,012
[ Screams ]
461
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,265
[ Indistinct shouting ]
462
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,642
Hey, wait a second!
Wait a second!
463
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,936
Ava!
464
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,230
[ Screams ]
465
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,774
[ Indistinct shouting ]
466
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:47,900
[ Cheers and applause ]
467
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,068
One, two...
468
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,654
Whooooa!
469
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,906
Okay,
go, go, go, go!
470
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,118
[ Cheers and applause ]
471
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,161
Janine:
Slap his hand, Jacob!
472
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,122
Come on, Gregory,
let's go!
473
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,958
Jacob: Go, Greg!
Go, Greg!
474
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:08,462
[ Cheering continues ]
475
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:10,339
That's it!
Don't fall!
476
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,758
Oh, yes, Melissa!
477
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,135
Gregory:
Yes, beautiful!
478
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,886
[ Chuckles ]
479
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,514
Go! Go! Go!
Here we go! Here we go!
480
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,598
Go, Janine!
481
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:20,891
She good!
482
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,311
Fly, Janine, fly!
483
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,438
You got it.
Yes!
484
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,440
Melissa: Go, Janine!
You got it!
485
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,691
Go, Janine!
486
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:31,027
Come on, Janine, come on!
Put it all into it!
487
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,362
I'm not physical
in this way.
488
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,281
One more, Janine!
One more!
489
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,283
Okay. [ Grunts ]
490
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,577
Alright, now.
491
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,746
Stop dancing, Janine!
Stop!
492
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,956
Sorry!
Thank you!
493
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,125
Barb!
Jacob: You got this!
494
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:50,630
[ Cheering ]
495
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,298
Go, Barb, go!
496
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,467
- Oh, no, you didn't!
- Go, Barb!
497
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,137
[ Indistinct shouting ]
498
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,972
Satan right
behind you, girl!
499
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,600
[ Cheers and applause ]
500
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,144
Yeah! [ Laughs ]
501
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,316
You're welcome, kids!
502
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,359
Yes.
503
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,860
Kids?
504
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,321
Wait. Where'd all
the kids go?
505
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,366
[ Playful shouting, laughter ]
506
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,117
Barbara: Looks like the children
can get along
507
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,535
quite well without us.
508
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,204
Well, okay, but her kid
shoved my kid.
509
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,289
No, your kid did shove
my kid.
We're done.
510
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:29,585
I guess the adults are
to blame here.
511
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,129
I'm sorry, soror.
512
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,839
And I'm sorry...
513
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,175
that we had to
beat your ass!
514
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,968
[ Laughter ]
515
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,220
Whoo!
516
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,806
Boom!
Ooh! Sorry.
517
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,183
[ Playful shouting, laughter ]
518
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,188
Took you long enough.
519
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,232
Mr. Johnson,
what you doing outside?
520
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,609
While I was thinning out
my keys, I locked myself out.
521
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:56,320
No way back in, so I guess
there's no more school forever.
522
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,115
[ Students cheering ]
523
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,992
If it was that easy, I'd have
locked us out years ago.
524
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,578
Outta my way.
I gotta pee.
525
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,123
Lucky for me, I found that
brand-new bathroom to use.
526
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,958
Please tell me
you didn't use it.
527
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,710
Use it?
Baby, I abused it.
528
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,213
No. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
529
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,006
Jacob.
530
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,466
I gotta hand it
to you, man.
531
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,468
I thought this whole field trip
was gonna be terrible.
532
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,345
Just a bad idea
from start to finish.
533
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,764
But best field trip ever?
534
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:26,100
Best field trip ever!
[ Students cheering ]
535
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,852
Smith Playground champions,
baby!
536
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,937
That's right.
537
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,772
Look, I said you're
not getting the grill.
538
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,026
Okay, um, I guess
it's time to go inside.
539
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,822
Cool. I'm gonna see if Jacob
needs help with anything.
540
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,532
Okay.
541
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,075
I'll see you tomorrow?
542
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,952
Yeah.
543
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,834
You a little sore?
544
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,502
[ Chuckles ]
Forget a Charley Horse,
545
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,756
I got a Charley Polo Team
in my hamstrings.
546
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,551
Charley Polo Team.
547
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,011
Like Ralph Lauren.
548
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,515
Shut up, Gregory.
549
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,975
I said nothing.
550
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,894
But I did tell you
all to stretch.
551
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,897
You all look ridiculous.
552
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,774
Us? What about you?
553
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,152
Where does your waist end
and your neck begin?
[ Ava chuckles ]
554
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:20,321
If that's supposed
to be a pickup line...
555
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,697
it's working.
556
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,784
Delicious.