1 00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:03,543 All right. And once again, 2 00:00:03,544 --> 00:00:07,463 the school district requires that uniforms be purchased at O'Hare's Warehouse. 3 00:00:07,464 --> 00:00:10,800 If your children show up in a makeshift uniform from a department store, 4 00:00:10,801 --> 00:00:11,926 we're gonna send them home. 5 00:00:11,927 --> 00:00:14,512 What's the difference between a blue shirt and khaki pants 6 00:00:14,513 --> 00:00:16,139 from Filene's Basement and O'Hare's? 7 00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:18,433 One gets them sent home. 8 00:00:18,434 --> 00:00:20,226 - Was that not clear? I'm sorry. - Right. 9 00:00:20,227 --> 00:00:22,979 Also guys, what did I say about shouting out the questions? All right. 10 00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:24,313 Please have some decorum. Damn. 11 00:00:24,314 --> 00:00:28,359 But the PTA did successfully get Abbott 30% off for the rest of the month. 12 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:29,736 So head there fast, people. 13 00:00:29,737 --> 00:00:32,238 - That's big. That's big. - Mm-hmm. Right? 14 00:00:32,239 --> 00:00:34,323 - That's cool. That's good. - We did that. Mm-hmm. 15 00:00:34,324 --> 00:00:36,075 You're welcome. All right. Moving on, 16 00:00:36,076 --> 00:00:39,287 we've received many emails about the golf course being built up the street 17 00:00:39,288 --> 00:00:40,747 and what this means for our kids. 18 00:00:40,748 --> 00:00:42,290 Not just our kids. 19 00:00:42,291 --> 00:00:43,541 What about our community? 20 00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,418 I know they're trying to price us out. 21 00:00:45,419 --> 00:00:47,879 I don't want my daughter to have to change schools next year. 22 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,883 - Yeah. - Can we stop it from being built? 23 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,801 People, the golf course is happening. 24 00:00:53,802 --> 00:00:56,095 - There's nothing we can do about that. - Mm-mm. 25 00:00:56,096 --> 00:00:58,389 Well, that's not true. I could pull a Bagger Vance. 26 00:00:58,390 --> 00:00:59,932 - What? - See, I could cozy up 27 00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:01,934 - to whoever their Matt Damon is. - Oh, God. 28 00:01:01,935 --> 00:01:03,853 It's like, I'm teaching him about golf, but really 29 00:01:03,854 --> 00:01:06,773 - I'm teaching him about life. - Mmm. Just to add on to that, 30 00:01:06,774 --> 00:01:08,232 - that's a stupid idea. - Okay. 31 00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:11,944 To add on to that, that is a really good movie. It's Will Smith's best performance. 32 00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:14,030 Seven Pounds is sitting right there. Are you kidding? 33 00:01:14,031 --> 00:01:15,823 - I like Elf. - That's Will Ferrell. 34 00:01:15,824 --> 00:01:17,950 - Yeah, Jada's husband. - No. 35 00:01:17,951 --> 00:01:20,495 - All right, so let's get back on track-- - I like Wild Wild West. 36 00:01:20,496 --> 00:01:22,413 Think that's his best movie. We can move on now. 37 00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:25,124 - It is so good, it has its own line dance. - Yes. 38 00:01:25,125 --> 00:01:27,627 - No, no. You're thinking of Men in Black. - Okay. All right. 39 00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:29,545 Wait. Wild Wild West has its own line dance? 40 00:01:29,546 --> 00:01:32,298 Does it have its own line dance? 41 00:01:32,299 --> 00:01:33,758 - All right. - No-- 42 00:01:33,759 --> 00:01:34,842 Go, Barb. 43 00:01:34,843 --> 00:01:36,677 See? Here we go. Now, y'all got her started. 44 00:01:36,678 --> 00:01:39,013 I literally... I have a gavel. I literally have a gavel. 45 00:01:39,014 --> 00:01:42,934 Uh, yeah, so I got this gavel specifically for the PTA meetings, you know? 46 00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:47,230 I wanted to be like, "Hey, bang, bang, bang, bang, meeting adjourned." You know? 47 00:01:47,231 --> 00:01:48,773 But I have yet to use it 48 00:01:48,774 --> 00:01:52,401 because like most group functions that take place in a Philly school gym, 49 00:01:52,402 --> 00:01:55,404 every PTA meeting ends the exact same way. 50 00:01:55,405 --> 00:01:56,906 ♪ Wild Wild West ♪ 51 00:01:56,907 --> 00:01:58,866 - ♪ When I roll into the ♪ - ♪ Wild Wild West ♪ 52 00:01:58,867 --> 00:02:01,285 - ♪ When I stroll into the ♪ - ♪ Wild Wild West ♪ 53 00:02:01,286 --> 00:02:03,414 - ♪ When I bounce into the ♪ - ♪ Wild Wild West ♪ 54 00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,707 Kick that... Kick. Ah. 55 00:02:06,708 --> 00:02:08,251 ♪ Wild Wild West ♪ 56 00:02:08,252 --> 00:02:10,964 ♪ We're goin' straight to ♪ 57 00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:12,964 No. 58 00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:15,049 ♪ Now once upon a time in the West ♪ 59 00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:17,344 ♪ Mad man lost his damn mind In the West ♪ 60 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:34,068 {\an8}The US Constitution established the framework for our government 61 00:02:34,069 --> 00:02:35,653 {\an8}and included the Bill of Rights. 62 00:02:35,654 --> 00:02:38,114 {\an8}But have you guys ever heard of Draco? 63 00:02:38,115 --> 00:02:39,534 {\an8}The wizard or the rapper? 64 00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:46,205 {\an8}Well, maybe the best way to describe him is through a little rap of my own. 65 00:02:46,206 --> 00:02:47,748 {\an8}Boo! 66 00:02:47,749 --> 00:02:48,875 {\an8}Fine. Fine. 67 00:02:48,876 --> 00:02:51,796 {\an8}He created the Draconian Constitution, 68 00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,340 {\an8}and he wrote a harsh legal code 69 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:58,050 {\an8}that doled out one-size-fits-all punishments to establish order. 70 00:02:58,051 --> 00:02:59,261 {\an8}That sounds like my mom. 71 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,682 {\an8}Okay, and we will pick this up next time. 72 00:03:04,683 --> 00:03:07,061 {\an8}Make sure you finish reading that chapter. 73 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,562 {\an8}Hey, Brandon. Why are you scratching? 74 00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:11,357 {\an8}- He dirty. - No. 75 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,276 {\an8}What do you have on your arm? 76 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,320 {\an8}Oh. 77 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,655 {\an8}I am so excited for our double feature tonight. 78 00:03:19,656 --> 00:03:21,282 {\an8}- I was-- - Ooh. Movie night. 79 00:03:21,283 --> 00:03:22,452 {\an8}Care for a third wheel? 80 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,161 {\an8}Oh. It's a Ja-gory thing? 81 00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:27,288 {\an8}Don't wanna make it a Ja-gor-acob party? 82 00:03:27,289 --> 00:03:29,707 {\an8}No. Your call. What are you gonna watch? 83 00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:31,667 {\an8}- Dune followed by Friday. - Yes. 84 00:03:31,668 --> 00:03:34,295 {\an8}I've seen Dune 2 and Friday After Next. 85 00:03:34,296 --> 00:03:36,088 {\an8}Now it's time to see the prequels. 86 00:03:36,089 --> 00:03:37,632 {\an8}Mmm. Oh, actually, uh, 87 00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:40,635 {\an8}speaking of big worms, and trigger warning, #gross, 88 00:03:40,636 --> 00:03:42,931 {\an8}one of my students in the first period has ringworm. 89 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,394 Well, there he goes. 90 00:03:50,395 --> 00:03:52,855 Chin up, Janine. He lasted longer with you than I thought. 91 00:03:52,856 --> 00:03:55,608 {\an8}Whoever is in charge of sanitizing this place needs to be fired. 92 00:03:55,609 --> 00:03:56,859 {\an8}A kid has ringworm. 93 00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:58,402 {\an8}- Ringworm? - Jacob, come here. 94 00:03:58,403 --> 00:04:00,071 {\an8}- Yeah. - Nope. Get back. 95 00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:02,907 {\an8}How do you know it's ringworm? Did you touch it? 96 00:04:02,908 --> 00:04:06,619 {\an8}Of course not. But it was clearly an itchy red ring, and nurse isn't here this week. 97 00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:09,038 {\an8}So I just sent him home and sanitized every surface. 98 00:04:09,039 --> 00:04:10,667 {\an8}- That's not enough. - That's not enough. 99 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,793 {\an8}Jacob, ringworm is an elementary school's-- 100 00:04:13,794 --> 00:04:14,877 {\an8}Worst enemy. 101 00:04:14,878 --> 00:04:17,171 {\an8}Maybe you could keep those older kids from touching each other-- 102 00:04:17,172 --> 00:04:19,842 - If the little kids get it... - All of 'em get it. 103 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:22,969 One, two, three. 104 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:25,054 - Kindness. - Bananas. Thank God. 105 00:04:25,055 --> 00:04:29,433 Last time ringworm broke out, we lost half the staff, and students, too, for a week. 106 00:04:29,434 --> 00:04:31,060 - Mm-hmm. - It was horrible. 107 00:04:31,061 --> 00:04:33,104 Oh, yeah. Well, this is worse than horrible. 108 00:04:33,105 --> 00:04:36,023 I got a date this weekend, Jacob. Did you ever stop to think of that? 109 00:04:36,024 --> 00:04:38,025 And the guy's got a hot tub. 110 00:04:38,026 --> 00:04:39,110 In-ground. 111 00:04:39,111 --> 00:04:40,571 What's the relevance of that? 112 00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:42,613 I can't with this virgin. 113 00:04:42,614 --> 00:04:45,700 I had ringworm once. My second year of teaching. 114 00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:49,328 Uh, it was awful. But, thank God, I've got immunity now. 115 00:04:49,329 --> 00:04:51,872 Barb, you can't get immunity from ringworm. 116 00:04:51,873 --> 00:04:54,083 Maybe you can't, but I did. 117 00:04:54,084 --> 00:04:56,794 Look, circling back to how I did nothing wrong here. 118 00:04:56,795 --> 00:05:00,172 I went beyond district policy. I sent him home before the end of the day. 119 00:05:00,173 --> 00:05:02,341 Okay, well, I have a plan that will guarantee 120 00:05:02,342 --> 00:05:03,759 that the ringworm doesn't spread. 121 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,511 - I also have a plan. - Okay. 122 00:05:05,512 --> 00:05:10,057 First step, contain the spread by keeping certain special students separated. 123 00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:11,517 Isolate the contaminated. 124 00:05:11,518 --> 00:05:14,145 All right. We're going to monitor student behavior-- 125 00:05:14,146 --> 00:05:15,815 Perform ruthless surveillance. 126 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,232 And we'll wanna do individual base learning-- 127 00:05:18,233 --> 00:05:20,484 Put them in solitary confinement. 128 00:05:20,485 --> 00:05:21,944 That sounds intense. 129 00:05:21,945 --> 00:05:23,237 - Yes. It really does. - Okay. 130 00:05:23,238 --> 00:05:25,489 Look, there's nothing to worry about here, guys. 131 00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:26,907 It's been handled. We're fine. 132 00:05:26,908 --> 00:05:29,245 Well, it better be handled, Jacob. 133 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,915 A hot tub. In [bleep] ground. 134 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,341 Hey, what's up? 135 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:43,007 Are you gonna open the door? 136 00:05:43,008 --> 00:05:44,800 Have you washed your hands recently? 137 00:05:44,801 --> 00:05:46,177 I'ma need a verbal yes. 138 00:05:46,178 --> 00:05:48,097 Gregory. 139 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,059 Why are you so freaked out by this? 140 00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:56,062 I mean, you teach first grade. It's not exactly a germ-free zone. 141 00:05:56,063 --> 00:05:57,523 This is a fungus, Janine. 142 00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,442 It's a whole ecosystem. 143 00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,068 Fungi are like sharks, okay? 144 00:06:02,069 --> 00:06:05,363 They're beautiful, elegant, but something to be respected, 145 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,532 nay, feared. 146 00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:09,160 Honestly, you're weird if you don't agree. 147 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:10,828 Okay. 148 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,500 Thank you. 149 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,585 - Thanks. - Okay. 150 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:23,798 So this isn't a totally surprising side of Gregory, 151 00:06:23,799 --> 00:06:27,470 but it is a bit of a new layer that I haven't seen before. 152 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,303 He really hates ringworm. 153 00:06:29,304 --> 00:06:31,015 Maybe even more than pizza. 154 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,015 But we all have our quirks. 155 00:06:33,016 --> 00:06:35,561 I'd really be way more concerned if he loved ringworm. 156 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,062 'Cause I don't think I can get past that. 157 00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:39,565 And he shouldn't ask me to. 158 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:41,649 There you go. See? 159 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:44,946 One of my quirks is getting carried away with my own hypotheticals, so... 160 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,783 Brandon, what are you doing back at school? I sent you home. 161 00:06:50,784 --> 00:06:52,243 Wait here, kids. 162 00:06:52,244 --> 00:06:54,747 I tried to go home, but my mom sent me back. 163 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,252 "Dear, Mr. Hill. I know that's wrong. 164 00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:02,753 According to the district's website, 165 00:07:02,754 --> 00:07:05,631 my child doesn't have to be sent home until the end of the day. 166 00:07:05,632 --> 00:07:09,885 I'm not the one or the two, so please send my child home at three. 167 00:07:09,886 --> 00:07:12,263 Try Jesus. Don't try me. Patricia." 168 00:07:12,264 --> 00:07:13,347 Is this a riddle? 169 00:07:13,348 --> 00:07:15,307 It means I'm here till the end of the day. 170 00:07:15,308 --> 00:07:17,017 But I kinda wanted to come back anyway. 171 00:07:17,018 --> 00:07:19,603 I let JoJo borrow my Switch, and he still has it. 172 00:07:19,604 --> 00:07:22,940 Okay. Well, that's... that's discouraging. Troublesome, actually. 173 00:07:22,941 --> 00:07:26,485 Okay. So you're telling me you let some other kid touch your contaminated game? 174 00:07:26,486 --> 00:07:29,238 Yeah. But to be fair, we all pass it around class while we're supposed 175 00:07:29,239 --> 00:07:31,699 - to be listening to Mr. C. - Okay. This is bad, Jacob. 176 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:32,992 Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. 177 00:07:32,993 --> 00:07:34,328 Come on, kids. 178 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:37,373 - Charlie's finished. - Oh? 179 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,584 Oh. That actually looks a lot like you. So good job. 180 00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:44,044 But maybe some beige, right? 181 00:07:44,045 --> 00:07:45,629 Add some color to it. 182 00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:47,756 Certainly got a lot of those unused. 183 00:07:47,757 --> 00:07:49,091 - Hey, Janine. - Yeah. 184 00:07:49,092 --> 00:07:52,261 The ringworm kid is back in school. It's time to put your plan into place. 185 00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:55,514 I have been waiting for this moment my entire life. 186 00:07:55,515 --> 00:07:56,724 All hands on deck. 187 00:07:56,725 --> 00:07:58,476 Okay. I'll tell Ava. 188 00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:00,519 I'm already on it. 189 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,939 Ava, I thought you said you were gonna stop listening in on our classrooms. 190 00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:05,566 I'm a known liar. 191 00:08:05,567 --> 00:08:06,777 Let's go to work. 192 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:13,616 {\an8}All right. Mr. Johnson, we need you to stand here 24-7. 193 00:08:13,617 --> 00:08:16,035 And block this floor by any means necessary. 194 00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:17,286 Oh, I got you. 195 00:08:17,287 --> 00:08:18,789 Nothing's getting past me. 196 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,337 No one is getting past me. 197 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,339 All right. Well, as you can see, our plan is now in place. 198 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:32,009 Now, we can trust the older kids not to touch each other, but the littles, no. 199 00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,011 So just to be safe, 200 00:08:34,012 --> 00:08:35,137 the second floor 201 00:08:35,138 --> 00:08:37,681 is now completely sealed off from the first floor. 202 00:08:37,682 --> 00:08:40,309 And if all goes well, we'll never see those upstairs people again. 203 00:08:40,310 --> 00:08:43,062 All kids' hands must be washed at all times. 204 00:08:43,063 --> 00:08:45,481 No going upstairs or downstairs allowed. 205 00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:49,068 No group activities. No recess. No gym. No library. 206 00:08:49,069 --> 00:08:50,444 And no using the bathroom. 207 00:08:50,445 --> 00:08:51,946 Unless they're supervised. 208 00:08:51,947 --> 00:08:54,698 Well, see, that's where we differ. I say pee where you stand. 209 00:08:54,699 --> 00:08:57,993 - And I say please don't. - This is a complete overreaction. 210 00:08:57,994 --> 00:08:59,954 The upper floors can't go to the library? 211 00:08:59,955 --> 00:09:02,164 Jacob, you're just mad that you're stuck on the second floor 212 00:09:02,165 --> 00:09:03,668 - with patient zero. - Okay. 213 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:05,793 I love you like a son, Jacob. 214 00:09:05,794 --> 00:09:07,044 But I will beat you down. 215 00:09:07,045 --> 00:09:10,506 Jacob, if it gets down here, everyone will be infected. 216 00:09:10,507 --> 00:09:12,258 We have to protect the entire school. 217 00:09:12,259 --> 00:09:14,760 This is not fair. And it is certainly no way to educate. 218 00:09:14,761 --> 00:09:16,595 You're being real cavalier right now. 219 00:09:16,596 --> 00:09:18,889 Maybe you're infected and that's the ringworm talking. 220 00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:21,517 Yeah. When's the last time you washed your legs? 221 00:09:21,518 --> 00:09:23,352 I do not have ringworm. 222 00:09:23,353 --> 00:09:25,690 Okay, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. 223 00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,444 No one's home. 224 00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,616 - Gregory left. - Okay. 225 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,785 Enough of that. 226 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,327 - Hey. - Hey. 227 00:09:40,328 --> 00:09:42,162 - Hi. - Hi. 228 00:09:42,163 --> 00:09:45,251 So, you know, we sealed off the second floor. You don't have to do this. 229 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,295 - Do what? - Well-- 230 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:51,005 - Where did you get that turtleneck? - Oh, it was in my drawer. 231 00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:52,842 Why do you keep a turtleneck in your drawer? 232 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,925 I don't know. Times like this. 233 00:09:54,926 --> 00:09:56,552 So what? You're just gonna stay in here? 234 00:09:56,553 --> 00:09:57,805 Pretty much. Yeah. 235 00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,432 All right. So, 236 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,600 are we not gonna do our double feature tonight, or? 237 00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:04,351 I would say, 238 00:10:04,352 --> 00:10:07,315 for now, in light of recent news, it's TBD. 239 00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:09,565 - TBD? - It means "to be determined"-- 240 00:10:09,566 --> 00:10:11,027 I know what it means, Gregory. 241 00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,114 Okay then. 242 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,199 See ya. 243 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,416 Wait. These doors don't have double locks. 244 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,459 I installed the locks myself. 245 00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,752 Look, I'm not crazy. 246 00:10:29,753 --> 00:10:30,838 I'm pragmatic. 247 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:33,966 Why am I so far away? 248 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:35,635 Why are you so close? 249 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,347 Hey. Where are you coming from? 250 00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:44,725 The lounge. Had to replenish my coffee for the midafternoon slump. 251 00:10:44,726 --> 00:10:47,728 Yeah. Mr. Johnson was supposed to be blocking access. 252 00:10:47,729 --> 00:10:51,692 You'd be surprised what he's willing to do for a wild berry fruit strip. 253 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,652 Mmm. 254 00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:57,571 Okay. So, not only are you putting all the rest of us at risk, 255 00:10:57,572 --> 00:11:00,451 but you're also blowing your personal goal of switching over to tea. 256 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:02,995 It's just not realistic. 257 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:09,708 Look, I made it through the outbreak of '02, '07 and '11 with hardly an itch. 258 00:11:09,709 --> 00:11:11,671 I'm telling you, I'm immune. 259 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,504 God protects me. 260 00:11:13,505 --> 00:11:15,756 So God protects you but not the kids? 261 00:11:15,757 --> 00:11:17,841 Something I've brought up with him many times. 262 00:11:17,842 --> 00:11:19,385 What if I don't believe in God? 263 00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:21,720 I didn't mean that. I do, especially when I fly. 264 00:11:21,721 --> 00:11:23,847 I'm just saying, why don't we leave God out of this. 265 00:11:23,848 --> 00:11:26,392 Just 'cause I'm trying to make a point, but we'll check in later. 266 00:11:26,393 --> 00:11:29,436 Listen, I'm glad you're safe with your God, 267 00:11:29,437 --> 00:11:31,730 but some of us are trying to get into some heavy sinnin' 268 00:11:31,731 --> 00:11:33,065 - this weekend. - Oh. 269 00:11:33,066 --> 00:11:36,902 So please, no more ups and absolutely no more downs. 270 00:11:36,903 --> 00:11:37,988 Right? 271 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,827 The thing about teaching here as long as I have is 272 00:11:44,828 --> 00:11:46,537 I've had everything: 273 00:11:46,538 --> 00:11:48,789 ringworm, chicken pox, mad cow, 274 00:11:48,790 --> 00:11:50,666 sad cow, red cow, blue cow. 275 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,670 Mmm. 276 00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:57,883 ♪ Freedom ♪ 277 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,135 Yeah, it upsets me that people aren't taking this seriously. 278 00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:03,846 Because I think what people fail to get 279 00:12:03,847 --> 00:12:06,515 is that this hot tub is in the ground, okay? 280 00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:08,392 It's not a Costco operation. 281 00:12:08,393 --> 00:12:09,852 The guy called a contractor. 282 00:12:09,853 --> 00:12:11,770 He came to the house. He dug a hole. 283 00:12:11,771 --> 00:12:13,313 A contractor. 284 00:12:13,314 --> 00:12:17,527 And so a constitution is fundamentally how we coexist together. Okay? 285 00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:21,655 Hey, hey. Wh-Where are you running off to? Let's, uh-- Let's... 286 00:12:21,656 --> 00:12:23,532 Let's stay here, you know? 287 00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:24,783 Chop it up a bit. 288 00:12:24,784 --> 00:12:26,118 Have a hang. Chill. 289 00:12:26,119 --> 00:12:27,619 But it's time for recess. 290 00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:29,913 - Yeah, that's what's so, um, fire. - Fire? 291 00:12:29,914 --> 00:12:33,417 - Is we get to skip recess today. - Get to? 292 00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:35,711 It might just be safer for everyone if we all stay here 293 00:12:35,712 --> 00:12:37,671 until matters calm down, rash-wise. 294 00:12:37,672 --> 00:12:39,798 So you're trapping us in here? 295 00:12:39,799 --> 00:12:41,675 "Trapping" is a strong word. 296 00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:43,344 - But accurate. - Yes, you're trapped. 297 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:48,390 Guys, this is... this is apparently for the greater good. This is good. 298 00:12:48,391 --> 00:12:49,808 This is ass. 299 00:12:49,809 --> 00:12:51,226 Yeah. Right. 300 00:12:51,227 --> 00:12:52,313 They're right. 301 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,354 And you know why they're right? 302 00:12:54,355 --> 00:12:58,484 Because I taught them to question the system and to speak truth to power. 303 00:12:58,485 --> 00:12:59,612 And the truth is, 304 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,780 yeah, this is ass. 305 00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:05,284 God, why am I such a good teacher? 306 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,119 Hello? The Atlantic? 307 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,829 This message is for whomsoever is in charge of great stories. 308 00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:11,955 I've got a hot one. 309 00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:15,626 Local hero principal saves downtrodden school from outbreak. 310 00:13:15,627 --> 00:13:19,131 Possible headline: "Ava Coleman Runs Rings Around Worm." 311 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,215 Uh-uh. 312 00:13:21,216 --> 00:13:24,094 Miss Lowery said if it happened again, I'd have to come here. 313 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:25,761 It happened again. 314 00:13:25,762 --> 00:13:27,807 I don't care. Get out. Get out. Get out. 315 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,390 Attention, teachers. 316 00:13:30,391 --> 00:13:33,101 No child is to be sent to the principal's office today. 317 00:13:33,102 --> 00:13:35,646 Kids, if you want to do crime, now's the time. 318 00:13:35,647 --> 00:13:36,982 Happy Purge Day, y'all. 319 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:43,072 Mr. Johnson, bring every disinfectant under the sun to my office immediately. 320 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,240 Mr. Johnson? 321 00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:48,867 Are you sleeping standing up again? Hey. 322 00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:52,081 No, George Washington Carver, I invented peanut butter. 323 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,629 I'm done with the chapter. Can I go use the bathroom? 324 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,296 Sorry, you're not allowed to leave unsupervised, 325 00:14:01,297 --> 00:14:02,881 and I can't leave the class now. 326 00:14:02,882 --> 00:14:03,966 I don't like it either, 327 00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:06,009 but you don't understand the kind of pressure I'm under. 328 00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,345 You don't understand the kind of pressure my bladder is under. 329 00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:10,597 But I promise, I'll go to the bathroom and be right back. 330 00:14:10,598 --> 00:14:13,100 What am I gonna do? Sneak off and learn something new? 331 00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:14,935 Certainly not if you stumble into Morton's class. 332 00:14:14,936 --> 00:14:17,189 I'm not trash-talking Morton with you right now. 333 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,109 - Why not? - Because you're being worse than Morton. 334 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:21,819 You're being Draconian. 335 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,573 - Okay. Go to the bathroom. - Thank you. 336 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:32,327 Living organisms. Tiny little creatures crawling all over your body, 337 00:14:32,328 --> 00:14:34,622 thriving in moist areas, so-- 338 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:39,253 What just happened? 339 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,380 That hoodie? 340 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,132 Gio, were you wearing that hoodie this morning? 341 00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:46,218 No. 342 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,928 - Where'd it come from? - My brother gave it to me. 343 00:14:49,929 --> 00:14:51,348 - I was cold. - When? 344 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,265 - Just now. - Gio, 345 00:14:53,266 --> 00:14:55,225 remember when we said no one could leave the classroom? 346 00:14:55,226 --> 00:14:58,355 Yeah. That's why I texted him to bring it to me. 347 00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:01,483 Bring it to you from where? 348 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,987 What floor is your brother on? 349 00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:13,412 Mr. Eddie, my arm itches. 350 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,539 The fungi are here. 351 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:17,917 They're here. 352 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,793 Protocol has been broken, y'all. 353 00:15:21,794 --> 00:15:24,421 I repeat, protocol has been broken, y'all. 354 00:15:24,422 --> 00:15:26,006 The perimeter has been breached. 355 00:15:26,007 --> 00:15:28,175 The infection has jumped floors and is now spreading. 356 00:15:28,176 --> 00:15:29,927 We are in full lockdown. 357 00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:34,099 I am currently reviewing the tapes to see which teacher or janitor is to blame. 358 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,393 You just went to the bathroom, right? Nowhere else? 359 00:15:38,394 --> 00:15:41,146 - Yeah. - Oh, thank goodness. 360 00:15:41,147 --> 00:15:44,441 But on the way, I stopped by the first floor real quick 361 00:15:44,442 --> 00:15:46,109 to drop off my hoodie to my brother. 362 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,277 - He was cold. - What? 363 00:15:47,278 --> 00:15:50,530 And then, I returned a book to the library, dapped up Miss Howard, 364 00:15:50,531 --> 00:15:52,908 and grabbed a drink from teachers' lounge. But I swear, that's it. 365 00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:55,744 You were just supposed to go to the bathroom. 366 00:15:55,745 --> 00:15:58,666 You know what's so funny? I actually forgot to go to the bathroom. 367 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,460 Can I go to the bathroom now? 368 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,548 How on earth could this happen? 369 00:16:08,549 --> 00:16:09,925 My plan was airtight. 370 00:16:09,926 --> 00:16:12,469 - Apparently not. - Barbara's been breaking protocol. 371 00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:14,137 - Barb. - I thought your people don't snitch. 372 00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:16,348 Then why are all my uncles in jail, huh? 373 00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:17,432 It wasn't Barbara, okay? 374 00:16:17,433 --> 00:16:19,977 Somehow, one of my kids ended up with a tainted hoodie from upstairs. 375 00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,520 - Somehow? - I'm sorry. 376 00:16:21,521 --> 00:16:23,230 Okay. It is... Guys, it's possible 377 00:16:23,231 --> 00:16:26,441 that I definitely let one of my kids go to the bathroom and-- 378 00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:28,694 - Do you just hate me? - I worked so hard on this. 379 00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:31,530 I shaved above the knee, Jacob. Above the knee. 380 00:16:31,531 --> 00:16:33,490 That was so irresponsible. 381 00:16:33,491 --> 00:16:35,951 Oh, yeah? Well, apparently, he had time to also dap you up. 382 00:16:35,952 --> 00:16:38,078 And I him, but I am immune. 383 00:16:38,079 --> 00:16:40,288 Cancel classes and shut Abbott down. 384 00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:43,542 This is going to wreak the worst havoc on this school. 385 00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:46,378 I guess it's every man, woman and flawless principal for themselves. 386 00:16:46,379 --> 00:16:49,256 Send all the kids back to their homerooms. I'll be in my bunker. 387 00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:50,799 I ate all your bunker snacks, by the way. 388 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,426 You don't know where my bunker is. 389 00:16:52,427 --> 00:16:54,930 Well, I ate something from somewhere, buddy. 390 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,274 Hey. Guys, this isn't cool. Don't make Brandon sit in the corner. 391 00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:09,735 No, I moved over here. I don't wanna give everybody ringworm. 392 00:17:09,736 --> 00:17:12,237 Look, you don't have to punish yourself for this, okay? 393 00:17:12,238 --> 00:17:14,823 It's not a punishment. I would have stayed home if I could've. 394 00:17:14,824 --> 00:17:16,908 But I can't. So for now, 395 00:17:16,909 --> 00:17:18,996 I'm just gonna sit here and play on my Switch. 396 00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,164 Wish you wouldn't do that while I'm teaching. 397 00:17:22,165 --> 00:17:23,915 I wish you wouldn't teach while I'm playing. 398 00:17:23,916 --> 00:17:25,210 But here we are. 399 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,545 I'm just looking out for everybody else. 400 00:17:28,546 --> 00:17:32,051 That is what we should be doing. Sacrificing for the greater good. 401 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:37,181 God, I am such a good teacher that he taught me something, you know? 402 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,809 Everyone, come out. 403 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,188 Everyone. 404 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,022 - Oh, sorry. - Why do we keep interacting? 405 00:17:47,023 --> 00:17:49,066 This could have been an email. A nice, sterile email. 406 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,859 You better be down here with some good news. 407 00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:52,486 Nope. Nope. Day just keeps getting worse. 408 00:17:52,487 --> 00:17:54,988 Or not. I've already submitted this to The Atlantic. 409 00:17:54,989 --> 00:17:57,741 So if it gets worse, it's actually better for me, story-wise. 410 00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,785 Look, I know I fumbled earlier. 411 00:17:59,786 --> 00:18:01,828 And I realize now that I was wrong and you were right. 412 00:18:01,829 --> 00:18:04,581 So I think we need to take all of the exposed kids 413 00:18:04,582 --> 00:18:08,335 and put them in a combined isolation class in the gym until the end of the day. 414 00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:10,879 Mmm. Yeah. I mean, that's a good idea. 415 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,881 But who's gonna go in there and watch them? 'Cause... 416 00:18:12,882 --> 00:18:14,635 I will. Unless... 417 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:17,679 Anyone else? 418 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,972 Well, worth the ask. 419 00:18:20,973 --> 00:18:22,808 I wanted to do it anyway. 420 00:18:22,809 --> 00:18:23,892 Godspeed, brother. 421 00:18:23,893 --> 00:18:26,313 - And, Gregory, I'll take your gear. - The hell you will. 422 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,441 Well, then it's settled. 423 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,237 - I'll be a hero. - Okay. Bye. 424 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,153 Go. You got this. 425 00:18:35,154 --> 00:18:36,240 Okay. 426 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,324 Damn. He is so brave. 427 00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:41,243 Better him than me. 428 00:18:41,244 --> 00:18:43,453 Might as well be you. You guys live together. 429 00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:45,207 Son of a bitch! 430 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,751 Lord, this day. 431 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:52,422 Mmm. I can feel the strength of God just tingling through my body. 432 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,382 - Tingling? - Yes, like little angels 433 00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:56,969 dancing on my skin. 434 00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:58,635 Why, look. 435 00:18:58,636 --> 00:19:01,431 God has blessed me with a little red halo. 436 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:03,807 Barb, you have ringworm. 437 00:19:03,808 --> 00:19:04,933 Yes, I do. 438 00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:07,310 Oh, God. Barb, I mean, 439 00:19:07,311 --> 00:19:09,229 we could just tell Jacob you can go watch the kids. 440 00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:12,065 Unfortunately, that is not God's plan for me. 441 00:19:12,066 --> 00:19:14,153 - Have a nice day. - Wh-- 442 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,864 - I think God wants me to leave too. - No, Ava. 443 00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:23,618 Oh, no. 444 00:19:23,619 --> 00:19:27,416 I ran the ship into an iceberg, and so down with it I shall go. 445 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,128 Hopefully... Hopefully no one touches me. 446 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,881 I really appreciate that it's you, Mr. C. 447 00:19:35,882 --> 00:19:37,257 You're a real one. 448 00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:38,385 Thank you. 449 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,762 Bye, Mr. Eddie. 450 00:19:42,763 --> 00:19:45,390 Oh, whoa. All right, sweetie. 451 00:19:45,391 --> 00:19:47,311 Have a good night. Wash your hands. 452 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:49,603 All right. 453 00:19:49,604 --> 00:19:52,647 So movie night in four to ten days, huh? 454 00:19:52,648 --> 00:19:54,151 It's not so bad, right? 455 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,777 We could still FaceTime. 456 00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,031 Yeah. Okay. 457 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,243 Bye, girls. 458 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,508 All right. 459 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,761 So, 460 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,055 what movie we watching first? 461 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,515 Um, okay. What about Dune or Friday? 462 00:20:27,516 --> 00:20:29,851 One of them. I don't know. I'll watch all of them with you. 463 00:20:29,852 --> 00:20:31,897 - I don't care. - Okay. Well, we have the weekend. 464 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,899 I got ringworm. It was as horrible as I thought. 465 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,525 But we got it together. 466 00:20:37,526 --> 00:20:39,236 And, look, we even have matching rings, so-- 467 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:41,323 No, no. It's not as cute as you think. 468 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:46,245 The trick is, if you always have ringworm, you never catch it. 469 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,536 Take that how you wanna. 470 00:20:48,537 --> 00:20:49,788 Yeah, caught it. 471 00:20:49,789 --> 00:20:52,499 But turns out Jacuzzi guy got evicted that morning 472 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:55,794 for having an in-ground hot tub in violation of his HOA rules. 473 00:20:55,795 --> 00:20:57,379 I said we should go to dinner. 474 00:20:57,380 --> 00:20:59,925 And he said that would be violation of his parole. 475 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,217 So I just stayed home and itched. 476 00:21:02,218 --> 00:21:04,803 {\an8}I realize now that God was just testing me. 477 00:21:04,804 --> 00:21:08,558 {\an8}And now he is testing the whole church choir. 478 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,726 {\an8}But you should see Jacob. Oh. 479 00:21:11,727 --> 00:21:13,895 {\an8}Apparently, you can't really get it this bad, 480 00:21:13,896 --> 00:21:16,775 {\an8}but I guess I'm a medical marvel. 481 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,651 {\an8}I didn't get ringworm, but I did get a tapeworm. 482 00:21:19,652 --> 00:21:21,695 {\an8}Seafood restaurant next to the gas station. 483 00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:23,865 {\an8}Got it. Passed it. Worth it.