1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:03,987
Ava, have you seen a --

2
00:00:03,987 --> 00:00:05,272
Is this you?

3
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:06,990
Ava: Oh. That must have
fell in there by mistake.

4
00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:08,325
Mind your business.

5
00:00:08,325 --> 00:00:09,626
What you looking for?

6
00:00:09,626 --> 00:00:11,011
Uh, I lost something.

7
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,180
What? Your sense of style?
Ha ha! Up top!

8
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,264
No.

9
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,716
You a hater.

10
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:16,850
What'd you lose?

11
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,086
Uh, it was a shawl
that was in my classroom.

12
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:21,588
It was my warmest one.
I am so cold. [ Chuckles ]

13
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,924
You think someone took it?
Who would just take a shawl?

14
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:29,446
Why would I, Ava Coleman,
take something from Janine?

15
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,366
Look, I am not
accusing anyone, but --

16
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,134
Mr. Johnson
took my shawl!

17
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:36,220
Why does the lost and found have
a five-day waiting period

18
00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:38,138
if we're not
gonna enforce it?

19
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:40,224
Aah!

20
00:00:40,224 --> 00:00:43,043
It's called
functional fashion.

21
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,412
Yeah!
That shawl chose him.

22
00:00:47,164 --> 00:00:49,132
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]

23
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:57,207
♪♪

24
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,562
[ Sighs ] I hope all the kids
aren't here today.

25
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,263
Yesterday,
everybody was in attendance,

26
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,514
and it almost broke me.

27
00:01:04,514 --> 00:01:05,849
That's what happens
when you enforce

28
00:01:05,849 --> 00:01:07,334
a "no nose picking"
policy.

29
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,835
I'm behind
on lesson plans,

30
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,420
but it's too early in the year
to show movies.

31
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:12,973
I'm doing LEGO day to catch up.
The kids love it.

32
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,725
I always end up
with LEGO toe.

33
00:01:14,725 --> 00:01:16,693
Exactly. I've bought
so many packs,

34
00:01:16,693 --> 00:01:18,445
LEGO owes me a sponsorship
already.

35
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,697
[ Chuckles ]
Man, this double class
is kicking my ass.

36
00:01:20,697 --> 00:01:22,082
I need my extra-large
coffee mug.

37
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,917
Jacob: Did you read
that article the other day

38
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,652
about how matcha --
actually more efficient

39
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,404
at awakening the nervous system
than coffee?

40
00:01:27,404 --> 00:01:30,023
Oh, yeah? Was that in
Who Gives A Crap Weekly?

41
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,775
It was in The New Yorker.

42
00:01:31,775 --> 00:01:33,543
Oh, so
Who Gives A Crap Biweekly.

43
00:01:35,212 --> 00:01:36,597
[ Door opens ]

44
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,434
Damn. It's more intense in here
than my at-home float tank.

45
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,085
What y'all doing?
Prepping.

46
00:01:42,085 --> 00:01:44,504
Mm. Working before work?
Couldn't be me.

47
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,456
Anyway, here's a reminder
that some goofy group

48
00:01:46,456 --> 00:01:48,458
is coming through to do
camp songs or something,

49
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:50,777
so check the schedule
to see when your class is up.

50
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,363
Holy Shakespeare!
[ Gasps ]

51
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,232
[ Imitating
sword slicing ]

52
00:01:55,232 --> 00:01:56,817
Jacob, we can't afford
for you to have a seizure

53
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,302
during school hours.
[ Laughs ]
[ Chuckles ]

54
00:01:58,302 --> 00:02:01,855
Guys! These are
the Story Samurai, okay?

55
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,774
They're a storytelling group
that goes all up and down

56
00:02:03,774 --> 00:02:06,910
the East Coast improvising
plays based on the kids' ideas.

57
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:09,046
[ Chuckles ]
I used to be in it.

58
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:11,748
Of course you were,
sweetheart.

59
00:02:11,748 --> 00:02:15,702
The Story Samurai are like
a book come to life, okay?

60
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,788
But the pages
are the performance

61
00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:21,124
and the illustrations
are, like, the lyrics.

62
00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:25,395
We help the kids see that
everyone is a story, okay?

63
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,515
Look, I don't condone violence,
but it slaps.

64
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:29,816
I think it sounds amazing,
Jacob.

65
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,301
I love it
when they come.

66
00:02:31,301 --> 00:02:33,470
You get to drop your kids off
at the auditorium for an hour

67
00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:36,139
and just catch up on work.
That part.

68
00:02:36,139 --> 00:02:38,008
Oh, well, then I may be
a really big fan

69
00:02:38,008 --> 00:02:39,326
of these Samurai-sitters.

70
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,694
You're gonna want
to see this.

71
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,913
It's -- It's not like
some wack puppet show.

72
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:45,115
Plus, this is like
a whole new tour.

73
00:02:45,115 --> 00:02:47,317
It's gonna be
brand-new material.

74
00:02:47,317 --> 00:02:49,152
It's very subversive,
you know?

75
00:02:49,152 --> 00:02:51,154
And really cool.
Like me.

76
00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:55,575
Janine, Gregory,
y'all pulling up?

77
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,712
Yeah.
I'll walk over.

78
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,130
Yeah.

79
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:02,182
Alex and Jordan.

80
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,167
Oh, Natalie.
I'm sorry, honey.

81
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,169
You are in
my third grade now.

82
00:03:06,169 --> 00:03:08,038
You were in my second grade
last year,

83
00:03:08,038 --> 00:03:10,874
and now you're in third grade,
which I also teach. Okay.

84
00:03:10,874 --> 00:03:12,943
I told you, we got an aide
if you need it.

85
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,362
She's got this.
She's a veteran.

86
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,531
Veterans don't need
that help.
Exactly.

87
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,700
You save those aides
for the young'ns.

88
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,551
Alright, well, don't say
I didn't try to help.

89
00:03:21,551 --> 00:03:23,270
Everybody say young Ava
is unreliable,

90
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,188
but even a broken clock
is right once a day.

91
00:03:25,188 --> 00:03:27,974
Twice a day.
Whatever!

92
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,576
Melissa: Um, you know,
it's a little tough.

93
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,962
But you know what?
Barbara's right. I'm tougher.

94
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,548
I'm so tough, brass knuckles
wear me to a fight.

95
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,883
Students: Ooh!
Oh. Excuse me.

96
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,535
What? What?!

97
00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:41,705
Keyon! Quit huffing
the Wite-Out, dude!

98
00:03:41,705 --> 00:03:44,374
Samurai. Ha!

99
00:03:44,374 --> 00:03:47,728
May we have a suggestion
for a character?

100
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,979
Meek Mill!

101
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,514
Ah.
Nice one, Clarence.

102
00:03:50,514 --> 00:03:54,384
What if Meek Mill...
was a meerkat?

103
00:03:54,384 --> 00:03:55,752
Why?

104
00:03:55,752 --> 00:03:58,555
I'm just a meerkat, strolling
through Western Philly.

105
00:03:58,555 --> 00:03:59,756
[ Chuckles ]
But it's not a story

106
00:03:59,756 --> 00:04:00,924
unless there's some...

107
00:04:00,924 --> 00:04:02,659
All: Conflict!

108
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:05,746
What's Meerkat Meek Mills'
conflict?

109
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,915
His ATV broke down
in the wrong hood!
[ Laughter ]

110
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,518
All: Wrong hood, Meerkat!
Wrong hood!

111
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,737
This is too corny, even for me.

112
00:04:13,737 --> 00:04:15,572
But Jacob loves it,
so thank goodness

113
00:04:15,572 --> 00:04:17,491
it's in his past
and he isn't up there.

114
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,209
[ Chuckles ]
I get it, though.

115
00:04:19,209 --> 00:04:20,594
If my "Degrassi"
reenactment group

116
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,630
showed up and performed here,
I'd be excited, too.

117
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,016
Shout-out to the guy
who played the original Jimmy.

118
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:29,336
Wonder what he's up to. Heh.
He is -- He's Drake.

119
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:30,954
I'm aware that he is Drake.
Yeah.

120
00:04:30,954 --> 00:04:33,290
I expected it to be corny,
but that was beyond anything

121
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:34,841
I thought was
theoretically possible.

122
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,527
[ Chuckles ]
I know.
It was peak Jacob.

123
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,896
Oh, Melissa, I bet that you
would love the Story Samurai.

124
00:04:39,896 --> 00:04:41,364
Oh, yeah,
I just dropped my kids,

125
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,066
and I got, like,
two lesson plans to do.

126
00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:45,435
[ Beeping ]
And that beep means
I got an hour left

127
00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:47,471
and I still didn't go
to the bathroom!
Okay.

128
00:04:47,471 --> 00:04:49,473
My class in here, please.
Thank you.

129
00:04:49,473 --> 00:04:51,024
Y'all see that corny show?
[ Laughs ]

130
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,793
I was in the back crying
while bootlegging it

131
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:53,994
for barbershop
distribution.

132
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,796
Guys,
it wasn't that bad.

133
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,415
I can't wait until
it's my class's turn.

134
00:04:58,415 --> 00:05:00,217
Mr. Johnson just told me
that they've got

135
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,953
some white boy doing
the Malcolm X Games.

136
00:05:02,953 --> 00:05:04,621
Janine: Oh, my God.
He did an ollie and said,

137
00:05:04,621 --> 00:05:06,790
"Plymouth Rock
didn't land on me, dude."

138
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,959
[ Laughter ]
Guys, just -- Guys.

139
00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:12,479
Tschoo! Story Samurais,
we slice down barriers.

140
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,182
If you need a story,
we're in your area-er.

141
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,316
Hey.
Huh?

142
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,801
What did everyone think?

143
00:05:17,801 --> 00:05:19,553
Did you see how excited
the kids were?!

144
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,505
It was great.
It was incredible.

145
00:05:21,505 --> 00:05:24,307
I honestly cannot wait
to see it.

146
00:05:24,307 --> 00:05:25,642
I told you
it was gonna be bomb!

147
00:05:25,642 --> 00:05:26,993
You really think
I would be a part

148
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,445
of something
that wasn't bomb?

149
00:05:28,445 --> 00:05:29,830
Well, it was something.

150
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:30,997
Something
that you can be

151
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,950
very, very proud
you did in the past.

152
00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,986
Well, the past
has become the present,

153
00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:38,522
because the Samurai
have asked me, Jacob Hill,

154
00:05:38,522 --> 00:05:40,323
to join
the afternoon show.

155
00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:41,942
-Wait.
-And you said yes, right?

156
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,793
Yeah, of course I did.
Janine: Oh, no.

157
00:05:43,793 --> 00:05:45,545
Ava:
[ Laughs ] Fantastic!
Barbara: Yes.

158
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:47,547
Hey, and if you guys thought
the Malcolm X Games was cool,

159
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,799
just wait till you see
Rosa Parks and Rec.

160
00:05:49,799 --> 00:05:51,001
Hey, Siri.
[ Watch dings ]

161
00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:52,619
Clear my afternoon
and set a reminder

162
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:55,672
to watch this boy
embarrass himself.
[ Laughter ]

163
00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:57,090
Janine, let me borrow your phone
so I can go live

164
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,142
on IG and TikTok
at the same time.
Uh --

165
00:05:59,142 --> 00:06:01,394
It's our duty to spread this joy
to the world, y'all.

166
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:03,230
It's tough times out here.
People need the laughs.

167
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,531
The people need the laughs.

168
00:06:08,518 --> 00:06:10,387
Hey.
I got your Slack.

169
00:06:10,387 --> 00:06:12,022
By the way, thanks
for being the first one

170
00:06:12,022 --> 00:06:14,524
to use the Slack channel
I set up two months ago.

171
00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:15,976
[ Chuckles ]
Anyway, what's up?

172
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,544
Um, I just wanted
to talk to you

173
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,746
a little bit more about
this Samurai business.

174
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,331
It's exciting, right?

175
00:06:21,331 --> 00:06:22,666
Oh, 100%.

176
00:06:22,666 --> 00:06:24,117
I'm sure back when
you were performing,

177
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:27,153
you were riveting, blowing
tiny minds left and right.

178
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,955
Guilty.
Yeah.

179
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:32,542
Off that, though,
my concern is,

180
00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:35,312
what if you kill it
too much?

181
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:38,181
Kill it too much? What?
I'm not sure I follow.

182
00:06:38,181 --> 00:06:42,302
Well, it's just you were
so good at it, you said,

183
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:45,555
and this is a new generation
of Samurai.

184
00:06:45,555 --> 00:06:47,223
They need to feel good
about themselves,

185
00:06:47,223 --> 00:06:49,743
and they probably
can't compare.

186
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,444
You don't want to
upstage them, do you?

187
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,582
Wow. Janine, I didn't
even think of that.

188
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,735
See, this is why
we're friends.

189
00:06:59,903 --> 00:07:02,572
Thank you...
for seeing me.

190
00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:04,107
You got it, bud.

191
00:07:04,107 --> 00:07:06,593
Alright, well, Slack me if
you got anything else, okay?

192
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,295
You know, you can
customize the emojis.

193
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:09,095
Mm-hmm.

194
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:15,502
Second graders, who can tell me
which clock says 3:30?

195
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:16,620
Thank you.
Ooh! I know!

196
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,088
We learned this
last year!

197
00:07:18,088 --> 00:07:20,123
Okay, thank you, Jameel, but you
gotta do your worksheet, okay?

198
00:07:20,123 --> 00:07:21,424
They gotta answer.
I have a question.

199
00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:22,842
Yeah. Honey,
hang on one second.

200
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:24,277
I can help you!
That's a preparation --

201
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,645
No, no, no, no, sweetheart.

202
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:26,947
You stay on
the third-grade side, okay?

203
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,064
You just let them
do their thing.

204
00:07:28,064 --> 00:07:29,316
Desiree:
Ms. Schemmenti?
Yes?

205
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,184
Bul tied his shoe
to the desk.

206
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,770
He did what?
Oh! Oh, no.

207
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:34,888
Ms. Schemmenti,
can I borrow you?

208
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,272
Oh. Let me see this.

209
00:07:36,272 --> 00:07:38,108
Okay.
Second graders only,

210
00:07:38,108 --> 00:07:39,376
can you tell me

211
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:42,128
which clock is saying 3:30?

212
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,964
What the heck
did you do here?

213
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,249
-Look. Are -- Are you okay?
-I know, I know, I know!

214
00:07:46,249 --> 00:07:48,201
Jameel, what are you
doing on this side?

215
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,953
Go back to
the third-graders side.

216
00:07:49,953 --> 00:07:52,372
But I knew the answer, so I came
to the second-grade side.

217
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,290
Okay, well, go back
to the third-graders side.

218
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:55,542
Okay. Are you good?

219
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,344
Oh, me? I'm...fine.

220
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:58,428
I got this.

221
00:07:58,428 --> 00:08:00,063
Okay.
Okay.

222
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,815
Desiree.
Where are you going?

223
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,250
Third graders get to go
to the library by themselves.

224
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,669
You're not
in the third grade.

225
00:08:05,669 --> 00:08:07,137
Depends where you sit.

226
00:08:07,137 --> 00:08:11,808
Okay, anybody else in the class
sitting on the wrong side,

227
00:08:11,808 --> 00:08:13,576
switch.

228
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,995
What?

229
00:08:15,779 --> 00:08:17,947
[ Rhythmic tapping ]

230
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:23,937
Um, I will be right back.
Please stay quiet. Thank you.

231
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,188
Quiet.

232
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,274
Hey! What's up?

233
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:30,126
Just saying hi.

234
00:08:30,126 --> 00:08:32,178
Oh. That's nice.

235
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,880
Hi. How's your day?

236
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,181
Surprisingly smooth.

237
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,683
I got through 90%
of animal habitats,

238
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,752
even though it's been a bigger
bathroom day than usual.

239
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,170
Mm.

240
00:08:40,837 --> 00:08:42,288
For -- For the kids,
not for me.

241
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,673
Oh, okay.
Yeah. How's your day going?

242
00:08:43,673 --> 00:08:45,125
Uh, my day is good.

243
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,193
Um, taught
the two times table.
Oh.

244
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,363
But I did convince Jacob
not to perform.

245
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,065
Thank goodness.

246
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,700
That girl
isn't ruining this for me.

247
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,018
She can be so selfish.

248
00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:56,519
Like last week,
when she wouldn't pretend

249
00:08:56,519 --> 00:08:58,521
to be my daughter at McDonald's
so I could get a Happy Meal.

250
00:08:58,521 --> 00:08:59,856
[ Scoffs ]

251
00:08:59,856 --> 00:09:01,274
So you just told him
that it's corny

252
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,710
and that eventually we will
all end up making fun of him?

253
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,413
No. Better.
I told a fib.

254
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,214
To protect his feelings.
Ah.

255
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,967
Jacob just puts so much
thought into how he's perceived.

256
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,285
And it doesn't hurt anyone,

257
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,287
so I figured,
why burst his bubble?

258
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,289
For one, it could stop him
from inviting us

259
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,708
to his "Living Single"
rewatch parties.

260
00:09:18,708 --> 00:09:19,893
[ Laughs ]

261
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,644
It's like, dude,
you're in a relationship.

262
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,396
I don't --
I don't get it.

263
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,814
But he does get
some good guest speakers.

264
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,066
He got the guy
who played Kyle --

265
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,134
[ Door opens ]
[ Students shouting ]

266
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:29,969
Oh. Melissa?
Are you okay?

267
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:31,805
[ Door closes ]
Yes.

268
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:32,839
Okay.

269
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,329
Good.

270
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,199
[ Door opens ]
[ Students shouting ]

271
00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:44,517
You like
that cheesesteak?

272
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,402
We got it
from the corner store.

273
00:09:46,402 --> 00:09:48,488
People write off this area
as a food desert,

274
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,740
but the culinary scene here
is so slept on.

275
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:52,075
It really is.

276
00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:54,260
So, listen,
I am honored

277
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,846
by the invitation
to perform with you all,

278
00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,016
but, uh, I think
I gotta sit this one out.

279
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,869
Man. Are you serious?
We were so stoked, Sensei.

280
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:05,421
Yeah, we still talk about
your legendary performances.

281
00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:09,275
You are our dopest alumnus.
Other than Josh Gad.

282
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,977
Oh. Josh Gad.
Josh Gad.
Yeah. Olaf.

283
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,780
I am flattered, truly,
but I got to keep

284
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,733
my Story Kimono
up in the rafters, okay?

285
00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:18,184
What's up, Mr. C?

286
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:21,354
Hey, Clarence.
Meet the Story Samurai.

287
00:10:23,273 --> 00:10:24,891
Nah. I'm good.
Yep.

288
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,159
You catch
"Last Week Tonight"?

289
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,827
[ Scoffs ]
You know it.

290
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,746
Yeah.
I bet you did.

291
00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:32,332
I'll see you in history,
Mr. C.

292
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,833
That's what
it's all about, dawg.

293
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,703
Connecting with the kids.
That's why we story.

294
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:38,238
That's why we samurai.

295
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,622
It's true.

296
00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:41,624
You guys should consider
working in a school,

297
00:10:41,624 --> 00:10:43,259
you know, full-time,
when you're out.

298
00:10:43,259 --> 00:10:46,479
I don't know. I was planning
on auditioning for "SNL,"

299
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,765
or if not that,
a YouTube channel.

300
00:10:48,765 --> 00:10:51,584
Yeah, I'm gonna work
at my dad's hedge fund.

301
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,253
In a school like this,

302
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,805
you're kind of like
a firefighter for joy.

303
00:10:55,805 --> 00:10:58,308
You want to get in,
spray as much joy as possible,

304
00:10:58,308 --> 00:10:59,442
and then get out.

305
00:10:59,442 --> 00:11:00,660
[ P. A. system beeps ]

306
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,245
Ava: Big news,
Abbott Elementarians!

307
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,113
I am calling
an all-school assembly

308
00:11:04,113 --> 00:11:06,282
so that we can watch
our own Mr. Hill

309
00:11:06,282 --> 00:11:08,651
perform with the Story Samurai.

310
00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:10,103
It'll be like
watching The Game

311
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,238
perform one night only
with G-Unit.

312
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,990
You got this, Mr. C!

313
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:15,408
Student:
Yeah, you do.
Heh.

314
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,345
I'm so excited
about your performance.

315
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,347
I'm stretching so I don't
throw my back out laughing --

316
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,932
I mean, learning.
[ Giggles ]

317
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,501
Are you ready to swing
your story sword?

318
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:26,870
Yes.

319
00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:29,005
And, uh, you're gonna be
live streaming the whole thing?

320
00:11:29,005 --> 00:11:30,173
Oh, yeah!
It's gonna open

321
00:11:30,173 --> 00:11:31,624
a whole new corner
of TikTok for me.

322
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,726
Well, I so appreciate
you using your platform

323
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,361
to amplify our message.

324
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:40,066
Hey, Jacob.
You aren't performing, are you?

325
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,601
Because we already
talked about it.

326
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:43,853
And remember?
No upstaging the Samurai.

327
00:11:43,853 --> 00:11:45,772
Yeah, but it's a whole
school assembly now,

328
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:48,308
and, you know, the kids
are gonna be expecting
to see me, so, uh...

329
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,994
Yeah, he don't want to let
all those kids down, Janine.

330
00:11:50,994 --> 00:11:52,412
[ Jacob humming ]

331
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,713
[ Whispers ]
I know what you're doing!

332
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,832
Good, 'cause I worry
about your awareness.

333
00:11:55,832 --> 00:11:58,034
[ Jacob breathing sharply ]

334
00:11:58,034 --> 00:12:00,370
Hey, Jacob, can I see you
for a second in the hall?

335
00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:02,038
Just real quick.

336
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,092
Don't listen to her!
We believe in you, Jacob!

337
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,810
[ Door closes ]

338
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,730
Hey, what's, uh --
what's going on?

339
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,433
Um, I'm not sure --

340
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,336
I don't think
you should perform.

341
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,838
Look. I get it.
You think I'm rusty.

342
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,139
But don't worry.

343
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:21,557
It's -- It's muscle memory.
You know?

344
00:12:21,557 --> 00:12:24,744
It's like when
I ride a unicycle --
That's enough.

345
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,280
Jacob, Ava just
wants you to perform

346
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,532
so that everyone
can laugh at you.

347
00:12:29,532 --> 00:12:31,567
What? [ Stammers ]

348
00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:33,486
Yeah, they're gonna laugh.
They're gonna laugh with us.

349
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,488
It's a pretty biting satire.
It's --

350
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,440
No, no.
They're going to laugh at you,

351
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,609
because, Jacob,
the Story Samurai

352
00:12:39,609 --> 00:12:41,961
are corny as hell.

353
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:45,098
How could the Samurai be corny?
I was in it.

354
00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:52,839
I'm c-corny?

355
00:12:55,591 --> 00:12:57,560
Jacob, you are...

356
00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:00,613
corny sometimes...yes.

357
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,448
Wha-- [ Chuckles ]

358
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,701
Wait. Uh -- No.

359
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:07,470
I have Kendrick Lamar on vinyl.
Okay? Is that corny?

360
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,889
Look, and the Samurai
are not corny, okay?

361
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:12,025
They performed
at a Bernie Sanders rally.

362
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,459
Without his permission.

363
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,628
And those things
can be corny.

364
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,381
Look, Jacob, at the end
of the day, I'm corny,

365
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:21,284
and at the beginning of the day,
too, but I don't care as much.

366
00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,036
Okay, but that is different,
because you are

367
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,454
African-American.
Dit-dit-dit!

368
00:13:24,454 --> 00:13:28,291
See, when you said "African,"
that's corny. It just is.

369
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:31,477
Look, you are a white teacher
in a Black school.

370
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,646
I am not Hilary Swank
in "Freedom Writers."

371
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,182
You are Hilary Swank
in "Freedom Writers."

372
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:38,551
You are Michelle Pfeiffer
in "Dangerous Minds."

373
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,470
You are
Sandra Bullock in --

374
00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:41,554
In "Bird Box"?

375
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,256
In "The Blind Side."
[ Gasps ]

376
00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:45,808
Too far.
Too far, I know.

377
00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:47,827
I'm sorry about that.
I know.

378
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,445
But my point is...

379
00:13:49,445 --> 00:13:51,664
you cannot do
this performance.

380
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,533
You will never
live it down.

381
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:54,984
I'm just trying to help.

382
00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:58,738
You don't want to be
a corny legend.

383
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,239
[ Door opens ]

384
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:02,942
Jacob, hair and makeup
are ready for you.

385
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:05,678
You know what, Ava?

386
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,680
I don't think
I'm going to do the performance,

387
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,682
and, um...

388
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,418
By the way,
would a "corny" person

389
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:15,671
stage a one-man show
called "The Color Urkel"?

390
00:14:15,671 --> 00:14:18,091
Did you do that?
Then yeah.

391
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,567
Damn it, Janine! Pop-Tarts
was sponsoring the stream!

392
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:34,974
Oh.
Melissa?

393
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:36,909
Is this
your handiwork?

394
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:40,163
Students: Ooooh!

395
00:14:40,163 --> 00:14:41,664
He looked at me funny.

396
00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:45,368
Oh, you have been dealt
an impossible situation.

397
00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:46,402
Aw, come on.

398
00:14:46,402 --> 00:14:48,404
Nothing's impossible
for us.

399
00:14:48,404 --> 00:14:50,540
I have known you
a long time,

400
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:52,909
and you are
an amazing teacher.

401
00:14:52,909 --> 00:14:55,895
This is no reflection
of your teaching ability.

402
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,731
Yeah, but, you know,
you said it yourself.

403
00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,932
I got this.

404
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:03,052
I believe in you,
so I know that you could,

405
00:15:03,052 --> 00:15:05,555
but just because you could
doesn't mean you should,

406
00:15:05,555 --> 00:15:08,141
and I shouldn't have
made you feel that way.

407
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:12,745
Huh! Give me two classes,
girl, I'd be in Jamaica. Mm!

408
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,832
Yeah, there was a moment
when I mentally transported

409
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,851
to Capt'n Chucky's Crab Cakes
in Ocean City.

410
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,686
Aww.

411
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:24,607
This school district offers you
absolutely nothing,

412
00:15:24,607 --> 00:15:27,877
and the mere fact that they
are offering you something

413
00:15:27,877 --> 00:15:30,596
is all the proof
that you need.

414
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:33,466
Yeah, maybe having an aide
wouldn't be so bad.

415
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:37,420
And in the meantime,
I know exactly what you need.

416
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:40,089
A bathtub
full of Prosecco.

417
00:15:40,089 --> 00:15:41,374
A laugh.

418
00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:43,860
Okay.

419
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,612
So, wait.
Jacob isn't performing now?
No.

420
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,614
Y'all gotta stop playing God
with that boy's life.

421
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,782
Oh, no, no, no, no.

422
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,385
I truly convinced him this time
to let it go.

423
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,720
I told him the truth,
which I feel good about,

424
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,222
but I also feel
kinda bad about.

425
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,723
Well, did he really
want to do it?

426
00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,225
Uh, yeah.

427
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:01,878
He was over the moon
and back,

428
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:04,580
but I'm just trying to save him
from embarrassment.

429
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:05,832
He was gonna
look like a fool

430
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,618
in front of the entire school
and the Internet.

431
00:16:08,618 --> 00:16:11,621
But he does that weekly anyway.
It's who he is.

432
00:16:11,621 --> 00:16:13,990
I mean, if we like him for it
and he really wanted to do it,

433
00:16:13,990 --> 00:16:17,760
I don't see why you would
stop him from being him.

434
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,263
Stay in the line,
y'all.

435
00:16:20,263 --> 00:16:21,647
I'm Megan!

436
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,983
I'm Harold!
And I'm Tyrone!

437
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,219
He just ruined my favorite
Erykah Badu song.

438
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:29,005
Together: And we are
the Story Samurai!

439
00:16:29,005 --> 00:16:30,973
Hi-ya!

440
00:16:30,973 --> 00:16:33,109
I thought you were gonna
go up there, Mr. C.

441
00:16:33,109 --> 00:16:35,611
Well, Clarence, I-I didn't
want to steal their thunder.

442
00:16:35,611 --> 00:16:37,363
Ohh.

443
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:38,781
It would've been mad funny
to see you up there.

444
00:16:38,781 --> 00:16:40,166
Harold:
Cut the corners of the bread.

445
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,818
Can we get a suggestion?
Anyone?

446
00:16:42,818 --> 00:16:44,820
Clarence: We call him Mr. C
because he's corny.

447
00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:47,523
But I like his class.
It's fun.

448
00:16:47,523 --> 00:16:50,092
He showed us that movie,
"Summer of Soul."

449
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,261
That was good. He's cool.

450
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,047
Megan: Tapenade!
Harold: Ooh! Dijon!

451
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,849
I have a suggestion!

452
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,868
Who thinks Mr. Hill
should get up there?!

453
00:16:58,868 --> 00:17:01,504
[ Cheers and applause ]

454
00:17:01,504 --> 00:17:02,872
Yes, yes!

455
00:17:02,872 --> 00:17:05,091
[ Cheers and applause ]

456
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,685
Okay.
Can I get a suggestion?

457
00:17:15,685 --> 00:17:18,137
A tiger.
I heard "tiger."

458
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:21,891
Okay, because I'm a tiger
with stripes and big teeth,

459
00:17:21,891 --> 00:17:25,211
people are conditioned
to think I'm scary.

460
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,630
The villagers
judge and harass me

461
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,549
based on how I look.

462
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,551
What is my conflict?

463
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,902
Your dad thinks
you're a bum!

464
00:17:32,902 --> 00:17:34,036
[ Students laugh ]

465
00:17:34,036 --> 00:17:35,788
Samurais:
Bum, bum, bum, bum.

466
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,991
Okay, okay.
Yeah, I want to sell cereal,

467
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:42,094
but my tiger dad wants me
to stay in the forest.

468
00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:44,513
Is he using a cereal
mascot to describe
racial discrimination?

469
00:17:44,513 --> 00:17:46,482
Mm-hmm.
That's what he's doing.
Okay.

470
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,335
I was born to help make
a balanced breakfast.

471
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:52,255
These stripes are feeling
like prison bars!

472
00:17:52,255 --> 00:17:54,340
[ Laughing hysterically ]

473
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:01,247
I'm sorry. I've just
never been so inspired.

474
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,415
[ Laughs ]

475
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,333
Son, I support
anything you do.

476
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,235
I just think
you need one thing

477
00:18:06,235 --> 00:18:09,021
so people know
you're a friendly tiger.

478
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,073
This red handkerchief.

479
00:18:11,073 --> 00:18:15,678
Thank you, fam,
for helping me be who I am.

480
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,597
Samurais: Who I am.

481
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,599
Who I am.

482
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,717
Who I am!

483
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:25,087
Whoo!

484
00:18:25,087 --> 00:18:27,707
[ Cheers and applause ]

485
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,276
Nice! Nice! Nice!

486
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,446
I know who I am.
I see it.

487
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:37,450
I am Jacob Hill,
and it turns out...

488
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,467
I'm corny.

489
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,303
Corny isn't bad.

490
00:18:40,303 --> 00:18:42,054
[ Screams ]

491
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,889
It just is.

492
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,941
Melissa: Yayyy.
Aww.

493
00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:47,827
[ Chuckles ]

494
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,746
Jacob, that was
actually incredible.

495
00:18:50,746 --> 00:18:52,798
Actually,
it was corny.

496
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,000
But the kids loved it.

497
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,068
I do think the trust fall
to represent

498
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,953
our own appropriation
was a bit much.

499
00:18:57,953 --> 00:18:59,455
I mean,
I would have dropped me.

500
00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:01,073
[ Laughter ]

501
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,309
That was so corny,
I gained 2,000 new followers

502
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:06,345
during the stream, including
Josh Gad, whoever that is.

503
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:07,980
When you guys
Voltron'd yourselves

504
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,317
into a Black Shaun King,
I -- I died. I did.

505
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:14,136
And the singing.
And those outfits.

506
00:19:14,136 --> 00:19:16,722
Your curly-ass hair.
[ Laughs ]

507
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,758
That's --
That's just my hair.

508
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,826
Bravo, Jacob. Bravo.
Good job, man.

509
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,361
-Yes, yes.
-Nailed it.

510
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:23,496
-You got it.
-You did that.

511
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,947
Made my day.

512
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:30,569
You think they'll ever get
how corny they are?

513
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:33,606
Not a chance. They'll never
stay in one place long enough

514
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:37,426
to connect with someone
who will tell them the truth.

515
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,845
They're missing out
on the best part --

516
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,130
connection.

517
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:42,381
Hey.

518
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:45,334
Can you get your corny asses
out of here so I can clean?

519
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,504
Go on and get.

520
00:19:48,504 --> 00:19:50,706
Okay.
So your request for a teacher's
aide has been filled,

521
00:19:50,706 --> 00:19:52,291
and they're sending one
over today.

522
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:53,476
Ohh!

523
00:19:53,476 --> 00:19:56,812
A Ashley Garcia
from Frankford.

524
00:19:56,812 --> 00:19:59,448
Eh. Frankford.
That's a toss-up.

525
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,816
Gotta admit,
never thought I'd see

526
00:20:00,816 --> 00:20:02,802
the Melissa Schemmenti
asking for help.

527
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,854
Okay, Ava, I'm not
in the mood, right?

528
00:20:04,854 --> 00:20:07,189
I'm just in the mood
to get some help.

529
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:08,691
When -- When's she
getting here?

530
00:20:08,691 --> 00:20:11,744
[ Chuckles ] Well,
it look like she's here now.

531
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:13,713
Okay. Why are you
making the face?

532
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,965
[ To tune of
"Waiting for Tonight" ]
♪ Waiting for Ashley ♪

533
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,299
♪ Ohh-ohh-ohh ♪

534
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,869
♪ I'll be the aide
of your dreams ♪

535
00:20:19,869 --> 00:20:22,121
♪ Waiting for Ashley ♪

536
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,539
♪ Ohh-ohh-ohh ♪

537
00:20:23,539 --> 00:20:26,659
♪ You'll get help
with your class needs ♪

538
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:29,145
♪ Waiting for Ashley ♪

539
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:32,014
What's up, Melissa?
I'm Ashley.

540
00:20:32,014 --> 00:20:33,265
Oh, wait.

541
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:34,734
The boombox wasn't on,

542
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,169
so the song probably
didn't make sense!

543
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:38,921
That was Jennifer.

544
00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:40,556
Lopez.
Lopez. Mm-hmm.

545
00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:42,725
Yeah.
Let me come back in.

546
00:20:42,725 --> 00:20:44,527
[ Chuckles ]

547
00:20:48,531 --> 00:20:51,500
♪ Homework is the jam,
homework is the jaaaam ♪

548
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,070
What are you doing?

549
00:20:55,070 --> 00:20:58,240
Oh. Just waiting out
their cool down.

550
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,543
Not in the mood
to be improv-ed at.

551
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,095
You don't think --

552
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,597
I mean, they have to
be virgins, right?

553
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:05,798
[ Laughs ] Stop it.

554
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,767
I'm serious.
Oh, no.

555
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,370
Can we get
a suggestion?

556
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:12,922
Yeah. Beat it!

557
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:15,508
[ Fingers snapping ]

558
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:17,109
[ Samurais grunting ]

559
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,444
Oh, you might be right.

560
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,563
Hey! I'm calling
the police!

561
00:21:20,563 --> 00:21:21,614
Whoo-hoo!