1
00:00:00,238 --> 00:00:04,944
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

2
00:00:04,944 --> 00:00:05,820
♪ Happy -- ♪

3
00:00:05,820 --> 00:00:08,072
Hit that high note.

4
00:00:08,072 --> 00:00:10,825
♪ ...dear Ryan ♪

5
00:00:10,825 --> 00:00:15,496
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

6
00:00:15,496 --> 00:00:18,708
♪ And how old ♪

7
00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:20,752
♪ Are you, Ryan? ♪

8
00:00:20,752 --> 00:00:21,961
Here she goes again.

9
00:00:21,961 --> 00:00:27,091
♪ How o-o-o-old are you ♪

10
00:00:27,091 --> 00:00:28,635
♪ Ryan? ♪

11
00:00:28,635 --> 00:00:33,806
♪ How o-o-old ♪

12
00:00:33,806 --> 00:00:37,477
♪ Are yo-o-o-o-u? ♪

13
00:00:37,477 --> 00:00:38,853
I'm 6.

14
00:00:40,521 --> 00:00:43,191
♪ May the good Lord ♪

15
00:00:43,191 --> 00:00:47,403
♪ Bless yo-o-o-o-o-u ♪

16
00:00:47,403 --> 00:00:49,572
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]

17
00:00:49,572 --> 00:00:58,247
♪♪

18
00:00:59,832 --> 00:01:01,042
Okay, now,
does anybody remember

19
00:01:01,042 --> 00:01:03,086
what was in
this container before?

20
00:01:03,086 --> 00:01:05,046
-Oh, oh.
-Erin, go for it.

21
00:01:05,046 --> 00:01:06,881
Ice. Brr.

22
00:01:06,881 --> 00:01:09,676
I will accept "Ice. Brr."

23
00:01:09,676 --> 00:01:12,345
Now, there was an ice cube
in this container before, right?

24
00:01:12,345 --> 00:01:14,097
[ Australian accent ]
Mum!

25
00:01:14,097 --> 00:01:15,390
Micah, why are you
yelling in my class?

26
00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:16,933
Is your mum here right now?

27
00:01:16,933 --> 00:01:19,435
[ Chuckles ]
Mr. Eddie, you're silly.

28
00:01:19,435 --> 00:01:21,604
No, I'm not.

29
00:01:21,604 --> 00:01:23,606
[ Laughs ]
Um, so there was an ice cube
in here before,

30
00:01:23,606 --> 00:01:26,067
but now, there's just water.

31
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,403
What do we think happened
to that ice cube?

32
00:01:28,403 --> 00:01:32,031
I love Bingo!

33
00:01:32,031 --> 00:01:34,242
This isn't the first time
Micah has disrupted my class.

34
00:01:34,242 --> 00:01:35,868
From what I understand,
he's obsessed with a TV show

35
00:01:35,868 --> 00:01:37,578
about Australian dogs.

36
00:01:37,578 --> 00:01:39,372
"Blue-ish" or something.

37
00:01:39,372 --> 00:01:40,957
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.

38
00:01:40,957 --> 00:01:42,500
What matters is I've tried
everything to keep him in line

39
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,168
and nothing works.

40
00:01:44,168 --> 00:01:47,255
It's gotten to the point where
even his classmates are annoyed.

41
00:01:47,255 --> 00:01:49,298
Do you know how hard it is
to annoy a first grader?

42
00:01:49,298 --> 00:01:50,758
Bingo! Bingo!

43
00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:53,052
Bingo, Bingo, Bingo!

44
00:01:53,052 --> 00:01:54,220
Um, everybody, e-eyes up here.

45
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:56,431
Bingo, Bluey!

46
00:01:56,431 --> 00:01:57,932
"Bluey."

47
00:01:57,932 --> 00:01:59,308
The show is called "Bluey."

48
00:01:59,308 --> 00:02:03,021
And then, Tariq said,
"Let's get ready to rumbly!"

49
00:02:03,021 --> 00:02:04,272
[ Chuckles ]

50
00:02:04,272 --> 00:02:05,690
Because my tummy was rumbly.

51
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:07,400
It was funny. [ Chuckles ]

52
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,277
Oh, my God.
Are those pork rinds?

53
00:02:09,277 --> 00:02:11,612
W... [ Chuckles ]
I know.

54
00:02:11,612 --> 00:02:14,073
I've been talking
about my ex too much.

55
00:02:14,073 --> 00:02:15,241
[ Sighs ]

56
00:02:15,241 --> 00:02:17,452
Jacob tells me
I sound like a lesbian.

57
00:02:17,452 --> 00:02:18,453
I'm working on it.

58
00:02:18,453 --> 00:02:19,454
No. Not that.

59
00:02:19,454 --> 00:02:22,790
I mean, yeah, you do,
but this food.

60
00:02:22,790 --> 00:02:26,085
You eat like you took
a cooking class in prison.

61
00:02:26,085 --> 00:02:28,713
You know,
it's funny you say that,

62
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,548
because my play cousin
Meechie just got out

63
00:02:30,548 --> 00:02:31,716
and taught me this.

64
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,509
It's so delicious
and cheap.

65
00:02:33,509 --> 00:02:35,345
Oh, so
it's about money?

66
00:02:35,345 --> 00:02:37,472
'Cause I can stretch a budget
like a big headed baby

67
00:02:37,472 --> 00:02:39,307
stretches a...

68
00:02:39,307 --> 00:02:42,352
It's not about money.

69
00:02:42,352 --> 00:02:45,605
My mom never taught my sister
or I how to cook.

70
00:02:45,605 --> 00:02:47,357
So everybody just got
a sister now?

71
00:02:47,357 --> 00:02:49,108
Janine: Tariq used to do
the cooking.

72
00:02:49,108 --> 00:02:50,818
He used to say,
"Call me Chef Tariq-riq,

73
00:02:50,818 --> 00:02:52,987
'cause when you cook,
it stink-stink."

74
00:02:52,987 --> 00:02:54,489
You know no one's making you
tell these stories, right?

75
00:02:54,489 --> 00:02:57,075
I know.
Okay, listen,
I can teach you

76
00:02:57,075 --> 00:02:59,827
how to make a cheap,
non-embarrassing meal.

77
00:02:59,827 --> 00:03:01,746
It might take you five days
to finish it,

78
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,039
but it'll be delicious,

79
00:03:03,039 --> 00:03:04,415
so it won't skeeve you
till the third day.

80
00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:06,209
Really?
Yeah.

81
00:03:06,209 --> 00:03:08,294
Oh, God.

82
00:03:08,294 --> 00:03:10,380
I'm gonna regret this,
but...

83
00:03:10,380 --> 00:03:12,215
you just come
to my place tonight.

84
00:03:12,215 --> 00:03:14,801
What time?
I mean, can I come?

85
00:03:14,801 --> 00:03:16,719
I need you to help me
with my wine pairings.

86
00:03:16,719 --> 00:03:19,514
Zach -- he gets embarrassed
when I ask the clerk for the,

87
00:03:19,514 --> 00:03:21,349
"second least
expensive bottle."

88
00:03:21,349 --> 00:03:22,725
Well, I couldn't think
of a reason

89
00:03:22,725 --> 00:03:24,102
why you can't quick enough,

90
00:03:24,102 --> 00:03:27,355
so yeah, I frickin' guess
you can, buddy.
Yay.

91
00:03:27,355 --> 00:03:30,358
And we'll just get rid
of that.
Whoa.

92
00:03:30,358 --> 00:03:32,568
Hey, man, can you, uh,
pass me a sugar packet?

93
00:03:45,581 --> 00:03:46,916
Talk to me, bro.

94
00:03:46,916 --> 00:03:48,459
Try again.
Copy that.

95
00:03:48,459 --> 00:03:50,419
Uh, hey, Gregory.

96
00:03:50,419 --> 00:03:52,797
Is there anything you want to
get off your chest?

97
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:55,550
[ Sighs ]
I have this kid -- Micah.

98
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:58,427
I can't stop him
from disrupting my class.

99
00:03:58,427 --> 00:04:00,179
It's like he can sense
whenever I feel like

100
00:04:00,179 --> 00:04:01,597
I'm getting a handle
on something,

101
00:04:01,597 --> 00:04:03,474
and he just swoops in
like a cute little falcon

102
00:04:03,474 --> 00:04:04,475
and rips me apart.

103
00:04:04,475 --> 00:04:05,852
Foof.

104
00:04:05,852 --> 00:04:08,479
I have been there.

105
00:04:08,479 --> 00:04:11,440
All the students
bringing the correct energy.

106
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,318
Insightful answers
popping off left and right.

107
00:04:14,318 --> 00:04:17,864
And then [imitates explosion]
someone goes and kills the vibe.

108
00:04:17,864 --> 00:04:19,073
Yeah, I hated
all of those sentences,

109
00:04:19,073 --> 00:04:20,199
but how do you
handle it?

110
00:04:20,199 --> 00:04:22,618
Well, like last week,

111
00:04:22,618 --> 00:04:24,745
every time Aaliyah
would give a correct answer,

112
00:04:24,745 --> 00:04:27,415
she would say,
"I'm on your ass, Mr. C."

113
00:04:27,415 --> 00:04:28,374
You still letting them
call you that?

114
00:04:28,374 --> 00:04:29,750
Eh, it's out of love.

115
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:31,252
But when she said it,

116
00:04:31,252 --> 00:04:33,045
the class would burst out
in laughter.

117
00:04:33,045 --> 00:04:36,382
It was
an untenable situation.

118
00:04:36,382 --> 00:04:38,885
So I sent her
to the principal's office.
To Ava?

119
00:04:38,885 --> 00:04:40,261
Man: The magnitude seve--

120
00:04:40,261 --> 00:04:42,180
Don't nobody care
about that earthquake.

121
00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:44,599
Turn it back, or there'll be
another national emergency.

122
00:04:46,142 --> 00:04:48,352
And that was helpful?
Yeah.

123
00:04:48,352 --> 00:04:50,938
Like, it made me feel like the
mayor of White Guiltsylvania,

124
00:04:50,938 --> 00:04:53,608
but, uh, it --
it did help.

125
00:04:53,608 --> 00:04:57,361
Look, I can't have one student
ruining the lesson for everyone.

126
00:04:57,361 --> 00:04:59,238
If you've really tried
everything else,

127
00:04:59,238 --> 00:05:00,656
you know,
give it a shot.

128
00:05:02,825 --> 00:05:05,703
That's a good idea,
actually.

129
00:05:05,703 --> 00:05:06,746
Thank you?

130
00:05:06,746 --> 00:05:08,915
Oh, you're welcome.

131
00:05:12,335 --> 00:05:13,377
That is your coffee.

132
00:05:13,377 --> 00:05:15,421
It was.

133
00:05:15,421 --> 00:05:17,089
[ Doorbell rings ]
Hey.

134
00:05:17,089 --> 00:05:18,841
Oh, good.
You brought the opps.

135
00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:20,885
And hello to you, too, Melissa.
[ Chuckles ]

136
00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:23,763
-Oh, wow.
-Wow.

137
00:05:23,763 --> 00:05:25,973
Hey, I, uh --
I brought this.

138
00:05:25,973 --> 00:05:27,725
I think it's called a "blend"
'cause they just mix

139
00:05:27,725 --> 00:05:29,435
all the best wines
together.

140
00:05:29,435 --> 00:05:31,812
Is that --
Yes, my cousin Vinny,
and you wouldn't know that

141
00:05:31,812 --> 00:05:33,648
if you were minding
your own business.

142
00:05:33,648 --> 00:05:36,234
So now close your eyes and
follow the sound of my voice.

143
00:05:36,234 --> 00:05:38,444
This way.

144
00:05:39,695 --> 00:05:41,447
You think this
is a [bleep] joke?

145
00:05:41,447 --> 00:05:43,616
Ma'am.
Eyes.

146
00:05:43,616 --> 00:05:45,868
Yeah, at school, I make sure
I don't use salty language.

147
00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:46,994
It's my house.

148
00:05:46,994 --> 00:05:48,579
I don't give a [bleep]

149
00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:50,164
Oh, it's a video.
I thought it was a picture.

150
00:05:50,164 --> 00:05:52,375
Oh, me, too. Ugh!
[ Laughs ]

151
00:05:52,375 --> 00:05:54,418
But that's okay, though.
Just save it.

152
00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:56,003
We can upload --
Oh, my God.

153
00:05:56,003 --> 00:05:57,630
How come
you got a shallot?

154
00:05:57,630 --> 00:05:59,882
A what now?
A shallot.
I said get an onion.

155
00:05:59,882 --> 00:06:01,217
Oh, Janine thought it was
an onion

156
00:06:01,217 --> 00:06:03,135
that was adorable
and small like her,

157
00:06:03,135 --> 00:06:05,054
and who am I
to shatter that illusion.

158
00:06:05,054 --> 00:06:06,722
[ Laughs ]
Does it really matter?

159
00:06:06,722 --> 00:06:08,057
Does it matter?

160
00:06:08,057 --> 00:06:10,434
Janine, come on.
Of course it matters.

161
00:06:10,434 --> 00:06:12,853
Ooh! Now I get to patronize
a local vendor.

162
00:06:12,853 --> 00:06:14,355
BRB.

163
00:06:14,355 --> 00:06:17,567
I love haggling with
neighborhood merchants.

164
00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:20,820
You should see their faces when
I counter with a higher price.

165
00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:24,073
You've heard of up-selling?
Well, I'm an up-buyer.

166
00:06:24,073 --> 00:06:26,033
If you get a white onion,
I swear to God.

167
00:06:26,033 --> 00:06:28,661
[ Door opens, closes ]
Hmm.

168
00:06:28,661 --> 00:06:31,539
So, do I have to be that
specific about ingredients?

169
00:06:31,539 --> 00:06:33,457
I mean, well, I wonder
if I could switch it up.

170
00:06:33,457 --> 00:06:36,043
I hear cooking's like jazz.
[ Chuckles ]

171
00:06:36,043 --> 00:06:38,296
No, Dizzy Gillespie.
It's not like that.

172
00:06:38,296 --> 00:06:39,714
You got to be specific.

173
00:06:39,714 --> 00:06:41,841
My sister Kristin Marie
used the wrong ingredient

174
00:06:41,841 --> 00:06:43,259
making our nana's
signature dish

175
00:06:43,259 --> 00:06:45,303
and brought that dish
to her wake.

176
00:06:45,303 --> 00:06:46,512
I haven't spoken to her
since.

177
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,141
Phew! Well, I may not know
about cooking,

178
00:06:50,141 --> 00:06:51,976
but I know a thing
or two about sisters.

179
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,769
[ Chuckles ]
[ Blender whirring ]

180
00:06:55,771 --> 00:06:58,190
[ Whirring stops ]
So does your sister --

181
00:06:58,190 --> 00:07:00,234
[ Whirring resumes ]

182
00:07:03,195 --> 00:07:05,197
That's really loud.
[ Chuckles ]

183
00:07:05,197 --> 00:07:06,449
[ Whirring stops ]
Alright, you're not
getting the hint.

184
00:07:06,449 --> 00:07:07,325
Go ahead, finish.

185
00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:09,368
Hint?

186
00:07:09,368 --> 00:07:12,997
Anyway [sighs] my sister and I
aren't that close either.

187
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,582
I mean, literally.

188
00:07:14,582 --> 00:07:17,960
She moved to Colorado because
she just couldn't take my mom.

189
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,004
I mean, we still talk.

190
00:07:21,213 --> 00:07:22,840
Sorry.

191
00:07:25,551 --> 00:07:29,680
Garlic, you know, makes you --
makes you cry.

192
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,558
Yeah, garlic doesn't do that.
Do it like this.

193
00:07:32,558 --> 00:07:34,435
I know that Melissa's quick
to cut people off.

194
00:07:34,435 --> 00:07:36,062
She even stopped talking
to her hairdresser

195
00:07:36,062 --> 00:07:37,480
because he called her
Melinda once,

196
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,358
but, I mean, her own sister?

197
00:07:40,358 --> 00:07:41,859
That's just heartbreaking.

198
00:07:41,859 --> 00:07:44,320
[ Chuckles ]
Hey, Melissa.

199
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:45,654
I was just thinking
about last night,

200
00:07:45,654 --> 00:07:47,365
when you said you don't
talk to your sister.

201
00:07:47,365 --> 00:07:50,076
Well, you can stop
thinking about it.

202
00:07:50,076 --> 00:07:51,494
I bet you miss her, though,
right?

203
00:07:51,494 --> 00:07:52,745
Yeah, of course I miss her,
but she was wrong.

204
00:07:52,745 --> 00:07:54,747
What am I gonna do?
Apologize to myself?

205
00:07:54,747 --> 00:07:56,374
Well, maybe --
maybe there was a reason

206
00:07:56,374 --> 00:07:57,375
for the substitution,
you know?

207
00:07:57,375 --> 00:07:59,126
There's always two sides
to every story.

208
00:07:59,126 --> 00:08:02,129
And one of those is
the right side, which is mine.

209
00:08:02,129 --> 00:08:03,506
Well, do you think
you would consider ever,

210
00:08:03,506 --> 00:08:06,300
you know,
mending fences with her?

211
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:08,052
Yeah.
Sure, that'd be nice,

212
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:10,471
but Kristin Marie
would have to come to me,

213
00:08:10,471 --> 00:08:11,847
and she's never
gonna do that,

214
00:08:11,847 --> 00:08:13,891
so let's stop talking
about it, okay?

215
00:08:15,351 --> 00:08:19,188
Maybe Kristin Marie wouldn't,
but Janine Marie would.

216
00:08:19,188 --> 00:08:21,690
What are you up t-- Wait,
your middle name is Marie?

217
00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,901
No, it is not.
My mom forgot to give me one.

218
00:08:23,901 --> 00:08:26,445
I may or may not be hatching
a little plan

219
00:08:26,445 --> 00:08:28,739
to reunite
Melissa and her sister.

220
00:08:28,739 --> 00:08:30,491
I've hatched many a plan
in my day,

221
00:08:30,491 --> 00:08:33,828
and this one is gonna
drive the coop crazy.

222
00:08:33,828 --> 00:08:37,415
Okay, now, rain is an example
of water in its liquid state.

223
00:08:37,415 --> 00:08:40,668
[ Australian accent ]
Bluey is from down under.

224
00:08:40,668 --> 00:08:42,795
Micah, if you keep distracting
your classmates,

225
00:08:42,795 --> 00:08:43,796
you're gonna leave me
with no other choice

226
00:08:43,796 --> 00:08:45,423
but to send you
to the principal's office.

227
00:08:45,423 --> 00:08:47,299
Student: Oooh.

228
00:08:47,299 --> 00:08:51,554
Now, we already know that ice
is a solid, but water is a --

229
00:08:51,554 --> 00:08:54,598
Have you ever been
down under?

230
00:08:54,598 --> 00:08:58,477
Micah...I didn't want to
have to do this,

231
00:08:58,477 --> 00:08:59,687
but you leave me
with no choice.

232
00:08:59,687 --> 00:09:01,647
Gather your things.

233
00:09:01,647 --> 00:09:03,190
You're going to see
Principal Coleman.

234
00:09:03,190 --> 00:09:06,569
Students: Ooooooh!

235
00:09:09,071 --> 00:09:12,783
Looking good.
Great job, you guys.

236
00:09:12,783 --> 00:09:14,368
Hey.

237
00:09:14,368 --> 00:09:15,911
What's up?

238
00:09:15,911 --> 00:09:17,538
I need to take this one
to principal's office.

239
00:09:17,538 --> 00:09:18,330
Can you watch my class
for a second?

240
00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,915
The principal's office?

241
00:09:19,915 --> 00:09:22,793
Don't you think that's a little
harsh for a kid that young?

242
00:09:22,793 --> 00:09:26,547
I mean, I've never had to even
take any of my kids to Ava.

243
00:09:26,547 --> 00:09:28,174
Well, this is
a unique situation.

244
00:09:28,174 --> 00:09:29,508
How so?

245
00:09:29,508 --> 00:09:31,010
Can you help me or not?

246
00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:33,095
Well, I just think maybe there
might be some other options.

247
00:09:33,095 --> 00:09:36,390
You two in a fight?

248
00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:38,517
Looks like y'all
in a fight.

249
00:09:38,517 --> 00:09:39,894
I'll be right over.
Thank you.

250
00:09:39,894 --> 00:09:41,687
Thank you.
Come on, Micah.

251
00:09:43,647 --> 00:09:46,108
You can walk faster.

252
00:09:46,108 --> 00:09:47,109
How have things been going
since I sent Micah

253
00:09:47,109 --> 00:09:48,652
to the principal's office?

254
00:09:51,530 --> 00:09:52,740
Pretty well, I'd say.

255
00:09:52,740 --> 00:09:55,576
[ Door opens ]

256
00:09:55,576 --> 00:09:57,745
Here I am, returning
Micah after a short,

257
00:09:57,745 --> 00:10:00,206
yet respectable amount
of time in my office.

258
00:10:00,206 --> 00:10:02,333
So, Micah, do you have anything
you want to say to the class?

259
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:04,752
[ Normal voice ]
Not really.
What do you want him
to say?

260
00:10:04,752 --> 00:10:06,921
I want him to apologize
for disrupting the class

261
00:10:06,921 --> 00:10:08,506
and tell us
it'll never happen again.

262
00:10:08,506 --> 00:10:09,465
Of course it's gonna
happen again.

263
00:10:09,465 --> 00:10:10,508
You want him to lie
to your face?

264
00:10:10,508 --> 00:10:11,801
No.

265
00:10:11,801 --> 00:10:14,011
Don't forget
your axolotl.

266
00:10:14,011 --> 00:10:16,514
Hey, Micah, what does
an axolotl do on vacation?

267
00:10:16,514 --> 00:10:17,807
Relax-alotl.

268
00:10:17,807 --> 00:10:19,141
I know that's right.

269
00:10:19,141 --> 00:10:22,186
Hey --
Hey, why does he
get a toy?

270
00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:25,189
I wanna get sent to
the principal's office, too.

271
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,273
Students: Me, too!

272
00:10:26,273 --> 00:10:28,943
No. No.
Okay. No.

273
00:10:28,943 --> 00:10:30,986
We're not -- We're not do--
[ Students shouting ]

274
00:10:33,447 --> 00:10:36,033
And then, he pulls out
a lollipop that she gave him.

275
00:10:36,033 --> 00:10:37,409
I don't want to interrupt, but
your spaghetti's getting cold.

276
00:10:37,409 --> 00:10:39,912
When I asked for the lollipop,
he spit it out into my hand.

277
00:10:39,912 --> 00:10:42,039
You know, you guys
can eat and listen.
I've seen you do it.

278
00:10:42,039 --> 00:10:44,083
You know, I have seen students
produce fluids

279
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:45,876
that made me
briefly consider

280
00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:47,837
that they might be
an alien species.

281
00:10:47,837 --> 00:10:49,213
The thing about spaghetti
is you want to eat it hot.

282
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,507
Janine,
stop interrupting.

283
00:10:51,507 --> 00:10:53,425
You and Jacob did a good job
yesterday.

284
00:10:53,425 --> 00:10:56,011
In 30 seconds,
everyone's gonna tell you so.

285
00:10:56,011 --> 00:10:57,596
Just let the man
finish his story.

286
00:10:57,596 --> 00:10:58,681
Mm-hmm.

287
00:10:58,681 --> 00:11:00,266
She said
I did a good job.

288
00:11:00,266 --> 00:11:02,643
The point is, Ava literally
made me take candy from a baby,

289
00:11:02,643 --> 00:11:05,354
and she didn't do anything
to discipline Micah at all.

290
00:11:05,354 --> 00:11:07,356
Oh, Ava doesn't
discipline the kids.

291
00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:11,777
So then why did you tell me
to send them to her?

292
00:11:11,777 --> 00:11:13,988
[ Muffled ] Remember when I said
you shouldn't do that?

293
00:11:13,988 --> 00:11:15,990
[ Coughs ]
Look,
sending a kid to Ava

294
00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:17,491
just helps get them
out of the room

295
00:11:17,491 --> 00:11:19,743
so that you can regain control
of the rest of the class.

296
00:11:19,743 --> 00:11:22,997
But it doesn't fix the problem,
and rewarding bad behavior

297
00:11:22,997 --> 00:11:25,165
is the opposite of what
a principal should do, right?

298
00:11:25,165 --> 00:11:27,334
Oh, wait,
repeat what you just said,

299
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:28,586
because for a second,
it sounded like

300
00:11:28,586 --> 00:11:30,462
you expect Ava
to do her job.

301
00:11:30,462 --> 00:11:32,590
What y'all doing
in here?

302
00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:34,550
Never mind.
I don't care.

303
00:11:34,550 --> 00:11:37,136
[ Door opens ]

304
00:11:37,136 --> 00:11:38,470
[ Door closes ]

305
00:11:38,470 --> 00:11:39,930
Say when.

306
00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:41,515
Discipline is an incredibly
important part

307
00:11:41,515 --> 00:11:42,850
of a child's development.

308
00:11:42,850 --> 00:11:45,728
When I was a kid,
if I did anything childlike --

309
00:11:45,728 --> 00:11:49,523
yell, run around, just generally
have a zest for life --

310
00:11:49,523 --> 00:11:50,691
I would be put on time out,

311
00:11:50,691 --> 00:11:52,443
and I would have to reckon
with the fact

312
00:11:52,443 --> 00:11:54,945
that I had committed
a failure of character.

313
00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:56,780
And that is how I became
the well-adjusted man

314
00:11:56,780 --> 00:11:58,282
that stands before you today.

315
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,951
Barbara, when you talk to Ava,
she listens.

316
00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:03,370
Yes.
And you're the only one
in this whole school

317
00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:05,039
that can get her
to even remotely do her job.

318
00:12:05,039 --> 00:12:06,373
You got that right.

319
00:12:06,373 --> 00:12:08,042
You got this gift to just
see through her bull--

320
00:12:08,042 --> 00:12:09,501
Gregory,
what do you want?

321
00:12:09,501 --> 00:12:10,878
Ma'am, can you please get Ava
to discipline the kids?

322
00:12:10,878 --> 00:12:12,338
'Cause I'm here to teach,
not punish.

323
00:12:12,338 --> 00:12:14,089
I will talk with Ava,

324
00:12:14,089 --> 00:12:16,508
because this color
doesn't look good on you.

325
00:12:16,508 --> 00:12:19,261
I thought I looked nice today.

326
00:12:19,261 --> 00:12:22,014
[ Intercom beeps ]
Ava: Mr. Eddie, please report
to the principal's office.

327
00:12:25,059 --> 00:12:27,227
Barbara: Alright.
Turn around.

328
00:12:27,227 --> 00:12:29,063
Turn around.
Come on.

329
00:12:29,063 --> 00:12:31,398
Students, turn around.

330
00:12:31,398 --> 00:12:34,568
Students: Ooooooh.

331
00:12:34,568 --> 00:12:36,362
Alright, now,
enough of that.

332
00:12:36,362 --> 00:12:40,032
We do not kick somebody
when they are down.

333
00:12:42,701 --> 00:12:44,954
You wanted to see me?
Why, yes, Mr. Eddie.

334
00:12:44,954 --> 00:12:46,288
I did.

335
00:12:46,288 --> 00:12:48,123
Though, ideally not under
these circumstances.

336
00:12:49,249 --> 00:12:51,168
Don't make that face.

337
00:12:51,168 --> 00:12:53,128
I heard you're going
around complaining
about my principaling.

338
00:12:53,128 --> 00:12:55,005
Now, I've made it a point
not to "harass" you

339
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,840
these past few weeks
and this is how you repay me?

340
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,258
Ava, you do these kids
a disservice

341
00:12:58,258 --> 00:13:01,679
by not being the strong
authority figure that they need.

342
00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:03,847
Kids are supposed to be scared
to go to the principal's office.

343
00:13:03,847 --> 00:13:05,641
You turned it into
a Chuck E. Cheese.

344
00:13:05,641 --> 00:13:07,309
[ Chuckles ]
Don't say that.

345
00:13:07,309 --> 00:13:08,978
I got beef with every
Charles Entertainment Cheese

346
00:13:08,978 --> 00:13:10,437
in the greater
Philadelphia area.

347
00:13:10,437 --> 00:13:11,772
Can I go?

348
00:13:11,772 --> 00:13:13,190
Have you not
embarrassed me enough?

349
00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:15,067
Now, how do you think it feels
for a six or seven year old

350
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:16,568
to make
that walk of shame?

351
00:13:16,568 --> 00:13:17,653
By the time they get
to my office,

352
00:13:17,653 --> 00:13:18,946
they got snot
running down their face

353
00:13:18,946 --> 00:13:21,198
and they're shaking
like a Chihuahua, and what?

354
00:13:21,198 --> 00:13:22,658
I'm supposed to punish them?
And then what?

355
00:13:22,658 --> 00:13:24,159
I gotta tune out
some sobbing child

356
00:13:24,159 --> 00:13:26,161
while I'm trying to watch
"Below Deck"?

357
00:13:26,161 --> 00:13:27,496
If you don't agree with
my approach,

358
00:13:27,496 --> 00:13:29,623
you need to get Micah
under control on your own.

359
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,585
[ Intercom beeps ]
I'm sending Mr. Eddie
back to his class.

360
00:13:33,585 --> 00:13:35,170
Let's all hope
he's learned his lesson.

361
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:39,717
I got next game.

362
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,010
Shame.

363
00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:43,387
Shame.

364
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:44,847
Shame.

365
00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:48,058
This is a 2021,
uh, white,

366
00:13:48,058 --> 00:13:51,353
and this $10 dandy
has hints of metal --

367
00:13:51,353 --> 00:13:53,272
Oh, God, would you shut
the hell up about the wine?

368
00:13:53,272 --> 00:13:54,273
Mm-hmm.
[ Doorbell rings ]

369
00:13:54,273 --> 00:13:55,607
Janine, could you get that,
please?

370
00:13:55,607 --> 00:13:56,817
Mm-hmm.
It's probably one
of my neighbors

371
00:13:56,817 --> 00:13:58,694
thinking you're
an interracial couple

372
00:13:58,694 --> 00:14:01,071
trying to gentrify
the neighborhood.

373
00:14:01,071 --> 00:14:03,741
Oh, Kristin Marie!

374
00:14:03,741 --> 00:14:05,576
Do I know you,
Bilbo Baggins?

375
00:14:05,576 --> 00:14:06,910
Where's Melissa?

376
00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:09,830
♪ Chase the blues away ♪

377
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:10,956
Let me catch you up.

378
00:14:10,956 --> 00:14:12,958
I made the sacred
Schemmenti gnocchi,

379
00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:14,334
dropped it off
at her school with a note

380
00:14:14,334 --> 00:14:16,670
implying it's from Melissa,
and now...

381
00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:19,465
♪ Reunited
and it feels so good ♪

382
00:14:22,468 --> 00:14:24,052
Are you trying
to [bleep] poison me?

383
00:14:26,889 --> 00:14:29,933
Poison? You know I would never
poison anybody.

384
00:14:29,933 --> 00:14:33,145
If I'm taking someone out,
I wanna watch 'em go.

385
00:14:33,145 --> 00:14:36,732
The hell are you doing
in my house, you pazzo lunatic?

386
00:14:36,732 --> 00:14:38,066
You know exactly
what I'm doing here.

387
00:14:38,066 --> 00:14:40,778
You show up at my place
of employ

388
00:14:40,778 --> 00:14:43,030
trying to mock me
via food.

389
00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:45,199
What the hell are you
talking about?

390
00:14:45,199 --> 00:14:46,241
If Nana knew
you'd made this,

391
00:14:46,241 --> 00:14:48,160
she'd be turning over
in her urn.

392
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:51,371
If Nana knew you made her
gnocchi with red potatoes,

393
00:14:51,371 --> 00:14:54,625
that urn would be
a [bleep] sandstorm.

394
00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:58,879
The store
was out of russets.

395
00:14:58,879 --> 00:15:00,672
Alright,
enough of that!
I don't like confrontation.
I'm -- yeah.

396
00:15:00,672 --> 00:15:02,257
Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.
You know what? I'm really glad
I came by, actually,

397
00:15:02,257 --> 00:15:05,093
because you're clearly --
you're losing your mind.

398
00:15:05,093 --> 00:15:07,846
What, you're l-- you're letting
cameras in your house.

399
00:15:07,846 --> 00:15:09,890
Forgetting
you dropped-off food.

400
00:15:09,890 --> 00:15:12,518
You know, I thought about
giving this crap to my dog,

401
00:15:12,518 --> 00:15:15,062
but I love my dog, so...

402
00:15:15,062 --> 00:15:16,897
I would say that comment
was pretty hurtful.

403
00:15:16,897 --> 00:15:20,984
I couldn't make food
that disgusting if I tried.

404
00:15:20,984 --> 00:15:22,319
That, too.

405
00:15:22,319 --> 00:15:23,487
Yeah? If you didn't do it,
then how else did this

406
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:24,738
gnocchi-shaped Play-Doh

407
00:15:24,738 --> 00:15:26,240
end up in my classroom

408
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,449
with a note...
Oh.

409
00:15:27,449 --> 00:15:30,786
...that said,
"For my sister"?

410
00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:33,539
Huh.

411
00:15:33,539 --> 00:15:34,331
Everybody out.
Mm-hmm.

412
00:15:34,331 --> 00:15:35,624
Get out.

413
00:15:35,624 --> 00:15:37,918
Wow.
Not even an apology

414
00:15:37,918 --> 00:15:40,671
for trying to snuff out
your own sister.

415
00:15:40,671 --> 00:15:42,589
Real nice, Schemmenti.

416
00:15:44,758 --> 00:15:45,843
Oops.

417
00:15:45,843 --> 00:15:48,136
Hang on. Wait.
Let me just --

418
00:15:48,136 --> 00:15:50,430
Let me just say one thing to you
before you go, okay?

419
00:15:52,599 --> 00:15:53,684
Your roots
are growing in.

420
00:15:56,353 --> 00:15:58,063
That's enough.

421
00:15:58,063 --> 00:15:59,690
Make your voice deeper.

422
00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:01,024
Since Ava refuses to do
another one

423
00:16:01,024 --> 00:16:02,651
of the integral functions
of her job,

424
00:16:02,651 --> 00:16:04,862
I have to take on
this additional duty.

425
00:16:04,862 --> 00:16:07,447
I plan to exceed expectations.

426
00:16:07,447 --> 00:16:09,616
Of which there are none.

427
00:16:09,616 --> 00:16:11,368
'Cause this isn't my job.

428
00:16:11,368 --> 00:16:12,160
That's enough.

429
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,620
Deeper.

430
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:15,998
[ Clears throat ]
That is enough.

431
00:16:15,998 --> 00:16:18,083
My work here is done.

432
00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:19,877
Hm.
Enough. Enough.

433
00:16:19,877 --> 00:16:21,211
[ Clears throat ]
Enough.

434
00:16:23,088 --> 00:16:24,798
Just stopping by to see
how things are going

435
00:16:24,798 --> 00:16:26,091
since your conversation
with Ava.

436
00:16:26,091 --> 00:16:27,342
Terribly.

437
00:16:27,342 --> 00:16:28,802
I can't think of any other way
to get Micah to focus

438
00:16:28,802 --> 00:16:30,470
other than to break out
my dad voice.

439
00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:33,599
Well, did your dad's
dad voice work on you?

440
00:16:33,599 --> 00:16:35,100
I'd say it did.

441
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:37,769
Working here at Abbott
as a young Black man,

442
00:16:37,769 --> 00:16:39,605
you are in
a unique position.

443
00:16:39,605 --> 00:16:40,689
Mm.

444
00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:42,900
You are also
at a crossroads.

445
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:44,735
Now, I am not saying
that discipline

446
00:16:44,735 --> 00:16:47,154
does not have its place,

447
00:16:47,154 --> 00:16:49,156
but your students
can either fear you

448
00:16:49,156 --> 00:16:51,617
or they can respect you.

449
00:16:51,617 --> 00:16:53,243
You can't have both.

450
00:16:54,453 --> 00:16:56,330
It's possible I'd forgotten
what all that discipline

451
00:16:56,330 --> 00:16:58,999
made me feel like as a kid.

452
00:16:58,999 --> 00:17:01,209
I'm starting to thinking that
maybe I didn't grow into the man

453
00:17:01,209 --> 00:17:04,671
I'm proud of because of it.

454
00:17:04,671 --> 00:17:06,340
Maybe I did in spite of it.

455
00:17:06,340 --> 00:17:08,967
Ooh,
Melissa is mad.

456
00:17:08,967 --> 00:17:10,636
I'm sure
she's not that mad.

457
00:17:13,889 --> 00:17:15,682
Yeah, she is.
That's her angry walk.

458
00:17:15,682 --> 00:17:17,100
Look at her,
not bending her knees.

459
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,435
Are you so bad
at reading body language

460
00:17:18,435 --> 00:17:19,853
because yours
are so small?

461
00:17:22,397 --> 00:17:23,565
Hey, Melissa?

462
00:17:23,565 --> 00:17:25,943
Hey.
I'm -- I'm sorry.

463
00:17:25,943 --> 00:17:28,195
I was just trying to fix your
relationship with your sister,

464
00:17:28,195 --> 00:17:30,197
not re-create an episode
of "The Sopranos."

465
00:17:30,197 --> 00:17:31,657
Is that offensive?
I haven't seen it.

466
00:17:31,657 --> 00:17:33,700
I don't know.
No, I knew
what I was risking

467
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:36,161
when I invited you
over to the house.

468
00:17:36,161 --> 00:17:38,247
I brought this on
myself.

469
00:17:38,247 --> 00:17:39,873
I don't want to undercut
my apology

470
00:17:39,873 --> 00:17:41,375
by over-explaining
my behavior...

471
00:17:41,375 --> 00:17:43,335
Sure you don't.
What is it, Janine?

472
00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:47,172
I have been missing my sister
a lot lately,

473
00:17:47,172 --> 00:17:49,174
and I can't imagine
having her down the street

474
00:17:49,174 --> 00:17:51,593
and not speaking to her
over a potato substitution.

475
00:17:51,593 --> 00:17:52,761
And I get that food's
important to you.

476
00:17:52,761 --> 00:17:55,013
It's not about the gnocchi,
Janine.

477
00:17:55,013 --> 00:17:56,473
There are members
of my family

478
00:17:56,473 --> 00:17:59,184
that still have a vendetta
against her over that dish,

479
00:17:59,184 --> 00:18:01,603
but Kristin Marie left
my whole family high and dry

480
00:18:01,603 --> 00:18:03,230
when my nana got sick.

481
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:04,856
She said, "Oh, I can't handle
seeing her like this,"

482
00:18:04,856 --> 00:18:06,775
and she just disappeared,

483
00:18:06,775 --> 00:18:10,070
and I was left to take care
of her by myself.

484
00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:11,530
And then she brings
a Tupperware

485
00:18:11,530 --> 00:18:13,115
full of hot garbage
to the funeral?

486
00:18:13,115 --> 00:18:14,950
That was just the nail
in the coffin.

487
00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:16,827
Metaphorically.
Nana was cremated.

488
00:18:16,827 --> 00:18:19,121
I miss
seeing her though.

489
00:18:19,121 --> 00:18:21,832
It was nice to have fun
with her like that again.

490
00:18:21,832 --> 00:18:23,166
Really?

491
00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:24,626
Yeah, ya know. Family.
It's complicated.

492
00:18:24,626 --> 00:18:26,086
[ Snickers ]

493
00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:28,171
Yeah,
that is for sure.

494
00:18:28,171 --> 00:18:29,881
Yeah.

495
00:18:29,881 --> 00:18:32,050
I wish my mom taught me
how to cook.

496
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:34,219
Hey.

497
00:18:34,219 --> 00:18:36,054
Why don't you and me
make some time

498
00:18:36,054 --> 00:18:37,973
to do another
cooking lesson, alright?

499
00:18:37,973 --> 00:18:39,766
So you don't hurt someone.
[ Chuckles ]

500
00:18:39,766 --> 00:18:41,101
Okay?

501
00:18:41,101 --> 00:18:42,477
Oh, and no Jacob.
He's not invited.

502
00:18:44,146 --> 00:18:46,481
Oh, I-I'm not invited?

503
00:18:46,481 --> 00:18:50,068
Now, our ice cube melted
and then turned into water,

504
00:18:50,068 --> 00:18:53,572
but we left that water in
the sun, and then it evaporated.

505
00:18:53,572 --> 00:18:54,865
Now, does anyone know --

506
00:18:54,865 --> 00:18:56,867
[ Vocalizing
"Bluey" theme song ]

507
00:19:00,287 --> 00:19:02,497
[ Gasps ] Bluey!

508
00:19:02,497 --> 00:19:03,999
Huh? What?

509
00:19:03,999 --> 00:19:05,042
What was that, Bluey?

510
00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:06,376
Uh-huh. Yeah.

511
00:19:06,376 --> 00:19:08,337
[ Chuckles ]

512
00:19:08,337 --> 00:19:09,796
Bluey, you so crazy.

513
00:19:09,796 --> 00:19:11,840
Oh, Bluey is so funny.

514
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,009
But she said that she knows
what state

515
00:19:14,009 --> 00:19:15,344
the evaporated water is in.

516
00:19:15,344 --> 00:19:16,720
Does anyone else?

517
00:19:17,679 --> 00:19:19,431
Okay, Micah, come on up.

518
00:19:19,431 --> 00:19:22,142
Now you know
he don't know.

519
00:19:23,477 --> 00:19:28,940
Okay, now, is the water a solid,
a liquid, or a gas?

520
00:19:32,611 --> 00:19:34,613
Enh! Wrong.

521
00:19:34,613 --> 00:19:35,947
Not quite, buddy.

522
00:19:35,947 --> 00:19:37,449
But that's okay.

523
00:19:37,449 --> 00:19:39,576
Thank you for trying.

524
00:19:39,576 --> 00:19:41,411
Now, does anybody else
want to give it a go?

525
00:19:42,996 --> 00:19:45,540
Mr. Eddie, you didn't send
anyone to my office today.

526
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:47,876
Oh, I feel like I got
the situation under control.

527
00:19:47,876 --> 00:19:49,711
Well, you know you don't need
a misbehaving student

528
00:19:49,711 --> 00:19:51,004
to stop by my office.

529
00:19:51,004 --> 00:19:52,881
You could always
just come say hi.

530
00:19:52,881 --> 00:19:55,258
And I'd have to be high
to do that.
Oop.

531
00:19:55,258 --> 00:19:57,219
Come on.
Unh-unh.

532
00:19:57,219 --> 00:19:58,553
I don't like this little duo
at all.

533
00:19:58,553 --> 00:20:00,347
Oh, Ava,

534
00:20:00,347 --> 00:20:03,141
I forgot to drop off
that discipline report to you.

535
00:20:03,141 --> 00:20:04,684
You are no longer speaking
to work Ava.

536
00:20:04,684 --> 00:20:07,145
You can drop it off at her desk
or speak to her tomorrow.

537
00:20:07,145 --> 00:20:09,648
How dare you.
Oop.

538
00:20:22,828 --> 00:20:24,871
[ Sighs ]

539
00:20:25,747 --> 00:20:27,541
[ Sighs ]
[ Cellphone rings ]

540
00:20:30,085 --> 00:20:32,087
[ Cellphone clicks ]
What up, Pops?

541
00:20:34,548 --> 00:20:36,842
Yeah, of -- of course.
Of course.

542
00:20:36,842 --> 00:20:38,635
I'm sorry,
Lt. Colonel Father Sir.

543
00:20:42,889 --> 00:20:45,559
Mm. So, this one was where
Kristin Marie

544
00:20:45,559 --> 00:20:47,394
and I went to Disney World,
and if you look real close,

545
00:20:47,394 --> 00:20:49,855
you can see there's a bump
on my forehead

546
00:20:49,855 --> 00:20:51,773
where she slammed the door
in my face.

547
00:20:51,773 --> 00:20:54,776
Oh, this one --
this is a sad day.

548
00:20:54,776 --> 00:20:58,405
So this was when Kristin Marie
had to say goodbye to her cat.

549
00:20:58,405 --> 00:21:00,657
She had the name changed
legally to Melissa

550
00:21:00,657 --> 00:21:02,617
right before she put it down.

551
00:21:02,617 --> 00:21:04,411
So... [ Grunts ]

552
00:21:04,411 --> 00:21:05,454
Whoop!

553
00:21:05,454 --> 00:21:07,456
This one's very special.

554
00:21:07,456 --> 00:21:10,417
This is me on Kristin Marie's
wedding day.

555
00:21:12,002 --> 00:21:14,421
Oh, see, look -- look at this.

556
00:21:14,421 --> 00:21:16,339
Look how nice we used
to get along.

557
00:21:22,053 --> 00:21:23,096
Excuse me.

558
00:21:23,096 --> 00:21:24,389
[ Sniffles ]

559
00:21:26,808 --> 00:21:29,478
-- Captions by VITAC --