1 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:05,422 I, for one, loathe that we live in a surveillance state, 2 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,174 but is there any chance there is a security camera 3 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,634 pointed towards the bike rack? 4 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,761 No. Our camera is pointed at the drop-off line 5 00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,596 so I can see which dads have nice cars. 6 00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:15,349 Why? A bike has gone missing. 7 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,017 Who would steal a child's bike? 8 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,436 Well, maybe not a child's, but an adult's. 9 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:20,938 Your bike got stolen? 10 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:23,732 [ Laughs ] 11 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:28,487 I saw an unfamiliar man milling about the rack this morning. 12 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,280 Okay, well, what did he look like? 13 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,412 U-Uh, I would say he had a, you know, 14 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:41,416 somewhat curly and spherical haircut. 15 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,668 An afro? 16 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,086 It was -- Some might call it -- 17 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,462 You know what, this feels reductive. 18 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,548 No, no, no! No, let's get to the bottom of this. 19 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,174 Would you describe this person 20 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:52,386 as someone who might have difficulty getting a loan? 21 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,845 You know what? It's fine. [ Laughs ] 22 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:56,056 Was it really ever my bike, anyways? 23 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,850 You know, does anyone really own anything? 24 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:03,480 I will, uh, leave you to ponder that query, 25 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,483 and, uh, adieu. 26 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,279 I suppose I won't be needing this. 27 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:14,283 [ Laughs ] 28 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:17,953 [ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 29 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:25,252 ♪♪ 30 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,089 After reading the material and looking at the data 31 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,882 from the past five years, 32 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,301 I have to agree with the nutritional board of Missouri 33 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:34,219 that small changes like a beverage 34 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,138 can lead to seismic shifts. 35 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:37,973 Guys, this juice is the future. 36 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,558 You don't need to stand when you talk. 37 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,978 You don't need to talk, period. 38 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,646 Devin: Once a year, the lunch crew has a meeting 39 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:47,232 to discuss new menu options from the school district. 40 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,276 This year it was about juice. 41 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,862 Now, the meeting is technically open to all staff, 42 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,655 but most teachers take the hint 43 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,199 and leave it to the professionals. 44 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,453 One teacher wouldn't know a hint if it closed a door in her face. 45 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,079 Twice. 46 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,665 You guys missed a great lunch committee meeting. 47 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,459 They don't want teachers there. 48 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,211 Oh, so they just say "all are welcome" as a formality? 49 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,963 Yeah, right. [ Chuckles ] 50 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,341 Oh, God. Anyway, someone had to get the scoop 51 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,426 on this hot new juice. 52 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,219 It's two more ounces than the juice the kids are drinking now 53 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,722 and five percent more real juice. 54 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,057 That's 10 percent more juice. 55 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,601 Okay, math! Yes, it's less sugar. 56 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,269 It's better all around. 57 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,229 It's a really easy low-lift win for our kids. 58 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,606 So what do you guys think? 59 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,940 Less sugar is compelling. Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,192 I'm not really a big fan of juice. 61 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,110 I prefer nature's juice -- 62 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,321 water. 63 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,406 What do you think, Barbara? 64 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:39,159 I say no. The kids aren't complaining. 65 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,912 If it ain't broke, don't fix it. 66 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,205 I'm with Barbara. 67 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,790 Okay, well, I'm for it, 68 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,375 but I would love to discuss further. 69 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,502 I have been here a long time, Janine. 70 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,628 Trust me. 71 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,963 New projects mean new problems. 72 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,215 Mm-hmm. [ Scoffs ] 73 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,300 What problems could there possibly be? 74 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,219 "Oh, no, help me. I'm hurting... 75 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,804 from getting too much of my daily recommended 76 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:00,138 fruit servings. 77 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,182 [ Laughter ] 78 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,600 There's no downside here. 79 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,852 It seems like you have made up your mind. 80 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,314 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go teach my children 81 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,442 what happens if you give a moose a muffin. 82 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,902 It does not end well. 83 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,737 New juice it is. 84 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:19,157 Okay, so if you have a dollar, and your brother, 85 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,409 who already owes you 10 grand 86 00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,327 'cause he keeps backing the Jets, 87 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,830 wants to borrow 75 cents... 88 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,373 Where are my quarters? 89 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,416 [ Change rattles ] Ashley: Whoo! 90 00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,626 [ Children cheering ] 91 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,254 Ashley Garcia, Frankford, Philly. 92 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,424 Old enough to know better, young enough to sheesh. 93 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,050 And I'm here at Abbott as an aide 94 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,885 'cause I'm helpful as hell. 95 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,012 That's why I've been at four schools in four months. 96 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,848 'Cause everyone wants a piece. 97 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,850 Hey, are those mine? 98 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,393 Hey, you want your own quarters, 99 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,145 date your own vending machine guy. 100 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:51,440 I'm using them for my science lesson on momentum. 101 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,400 Oh! If it's heads, I get to keep it. 102 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,901 It's tails. 103 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,366 [ Indistinct conversations ] 104 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,535 Would you look at this? The kids love it, 105 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,537 and the juice is flying off the trays. 106 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:08,457 Yeah, maybe next year we could get real meat. 107 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,584 Mmm. 108 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,961 Mm. What's that I taste? 109 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:16,131 Is that the nectar of sweet victory? 110 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,341 Yeah, the kids are having more juice, 111 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,677 but less sugar, and they seem very happy. 112 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,180 That's nice, dear. 113 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,098 You gotta admit this was a good idea. 114 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,100 You know, your kids are probably loving it. 115 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,102 Well, I guess we'll never know 116 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,647 because I did not opt in for this juice. 117 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,149 Why not? 118 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,817 Because my class will be sticking with the juice 119 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:39,154 that has been working for the past 20 years. 120 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:41,782 If it ain't broke, don't fix it. 121 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,949 All right, you know what? I think they should change 122 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,868 that phrase to "If it ain't broke, 123 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,912 do fix it sometimes 124 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,455 because it might make it better." 125 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,249 So you want to fix an unbroken phrase 126 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:54,211 that has been used effectively for generations? 127 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,880 If it makes it better, then yes. 128 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,299 Ugh. 129 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,343 Don't worry. Chapter books will be a breeze. 130 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,136 Most books are based off movies anyway, 131 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,262 so you can watch instead of -- 132 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:07,724 No, no! No. 133 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,977 Ashley is more easily distracted than my second graders. 134 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,562 But I got a plan. 135 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,898 I figure if we organize her work, it'd help, 136 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,317 so I made her a to-do list, 137 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,361 which is different from my to-do list, 138 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,072 which includes Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. 139 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,782 Or Jon "The Rock" Bon Jovi. 140 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,493 Yeah, so where are youse on that checklist? 141 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,869 Oh. 142 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,579 Ashley. Checklist. 143 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,248 Oh, you meant me? 144 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,666 Right. Good! Great. 145 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,501 I mean, I lost it. Of course. 146 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,044 Okay, so you're supposed to be working on words 147 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:39,756 with H's after P's. 'Kay? 148 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,259 H's after D's? That's weird. 149 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,261 No. H's after P. 150 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:47,430 P. [ Snorts ] 151 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,932 You said pee-pee. 152 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:52,060 [ Laughter ] 153 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,105 Hot, right? So this is vintage 2019 Zara, 154 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:58,191 previously loved. I'm gonna start this listing at $20. 155 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,985 Okay, I see you @moolahbaybee. 156 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,695 Can I get $25? 157 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,947 Ava, it's urgent. 158 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,699 Okay, sold to @moolahbaybee. 159 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:09,661 You better count your blessings, fan, 'cause this is a steal. 160 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:10,787 [ Cellphone chimes ] 161 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,372 Okay, y'all, I gotta run. 162 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,874 Remember, my live pop-up sales only happen 163 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,042 Monday through Friday, 9:00 a. m. to 3:00 p. m.. 164 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,627 Otherwise, I'm pretty busy. 165 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,045 Peace. 166 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,006 Administrative business. What's going on? 167 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,632 Ashley's gotta go. Who? 168 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,843 My new aide. I want her gone. 169 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,219 Oh, what exactly is the problem? 170 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,470 She's giving me agita. 171 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,972 We can't fire people for that. 172 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,473 I tried to get Jacob fired his first year 173 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,851 for buying me a reusable water bottle for Christmas. 174 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,144 I found it passive aggressive. 175 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,564 And yet he's still here. 176 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,815 You gotta have a paper trail of bad behavior. 177 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,400 This is a bureaucracy. 178 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,860 Yeah, but she's a huge pain in my ass. 179 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,862 I'm actually getting less work done with her here. 180 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,280 Okay, damn. I'll come to your class 181 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,698 and monitor her myself. 182 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,700 You will? Yes! 183 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,452 Why does everybody get so surprised when I say I'll help? 184 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,870 I'm a professional. 185 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,496 No, that's -- that's great. 186 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,749 Thank you. 187 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,918 Now, what does one wear to monitor? 188 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,004 Three-ninths is complicated. 189 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,547 A little full of itself. 190 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,215 It's not my favorite, but some people -- 191 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:07,177 Oh. Kalan, Armonni, welcome back. 192 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,429 You took so long I thought you fell in the toilet, 193 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,930 but now it's time to fall 194 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,641 into the wonderful world of fractions. 195 00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:15,393 I have to go to the bathroom, too, Miss Teagues. 196 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:19,606 Okay, um, who else needs to go to the bathroom? 197 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,150 Well, looks like I need to go, too, 198 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,444 so I guess it's time to take a little field trip. 199 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,199 Dang, this line is longer than Saweetie's nails. 200 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,533 Is there some kind of free-before-ten special 201 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,951 going on that I don't know about? 202 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,036 We've been in line for 15 minutes. 203 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,871 It's been like this all day. 204 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,456 Has it? That's wild. 205 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,916 'Cause I've been so busy working, you know, 206 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,292 I didn't notice. 207 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,586 Whoa, I thought it was just my class. 208 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:42,796 What is going on? 209 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,297 It's this new juice. 210 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,840 It's busting their bladders. 211 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,175 Oh, but that can't be it. 212 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,927 I mean, it's only two more ounces. 213 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,096 Well, I guess two more ounces adds up to 200 more trips 214 00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:53,890 to the bathroom. 215 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,642 Well, this is a good thing 216 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,811 because more trips to the bathroom 217 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,647 means more liquid flushing through their tiny bodies 218 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,066 and cleansing their tiny little cells. 219 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,401 Hydration. 220 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,945 This is good. Mm. 221 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:10,115 [ Thud, toilet flushing ] 222 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,909 Uh-oh. I think the bathroom broke. 223 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,747 [ Sighs heavily ] 224 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,041 All the first floor bathrooms are broken. 225 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,459 Until reinforcements arrive, 226 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,712 everyone has to use the upstairs bathroom. 227 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,214 And I pray to the Mario Brothers they hold. 228 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:29,509 If I didn't have so much class, I'd say "I told you so." 229 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,887 Ugh! You did not tell me that changing juices 230 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,556 would make the kids drink so much 231 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:35,682 that they peed the bathrooms out of commission. 232 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,225 I told you that there was no need 233 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,436 to fix something that wasn't broken. 234 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,355 But no, that wasn't enough for Janine. 235 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,065 You should have just listened to me. 236 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,734 How are we even supposed to teach? 237 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,819 My first graders have never even been to the second floor before. 238 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,446 And it takes me 45 seconds 239 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,864 at a brisk pace to get all the way up there. 240 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,824 It will take the kids forever. 241 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,909 You time yourself going to the second floor? 242 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,536 You don't? Uh, while I admit 243 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,496 this is an unfortunate circumstance, 244 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,832 it will be nice to have some extra pairs of feet 245 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,917 up in the penthouses. 246 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,086 That's what we non-ground floor teachers call it. 247 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,504 Wait, Barbara, is your kindergarten bathroom 248 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,716 still working? 249 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,802 Yes, my private facilities are intact, 250 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:16,514 due to my responsible juice decision. 251 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,183 Can our kids use it, Barbara? 252 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,101 Please? It's a close call getting them 253 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,603 to the first floor bathroom as it is. 254 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,146 And first graders have 255 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,774 the second most combustible bladders. Okay, fine. 256 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,401 The kindergarten bathroom may be used in emergencies. 257 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,153 Oh, thank goodness. 258 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,529 I meant the kids. 259 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,447 I'm a kid at heart. 260 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,990 You -- 261 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:36,117 Thank you. Thank you. 262 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,453 Your lipstick...pretty. Those pants are creased real well. 263 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:42,123 Okay, kids. How many yards are in one Manute Bol? 264 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:44,042 Jessica. 265 00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,335 Three? 266 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,295 Not quite. Anybody else? 267 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:51,174 I'm Meg Thee Skeleton and it's time to learn about our bones. 268 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:54,219 Eh! [ Children laughing ] 269 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,137 Good news is, now that I have Ashley helping out in my class, 270 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,889 I can teach two lessons at once. 271 00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:01,351 Bad news is, I now have Ashley in my class. 272 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,311 [ Children laughing ] 273 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,021 How y'all doing? Don't worry about me. 274 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,981 I'm not even here. 275 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,150 Alright. So, um -- I'm here to teach you about the human... 276 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,986 ♪ Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody ♪ 277 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,906 ♪ Bones, blood, meat, you! ♪ Okay. 278 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,699 Hey. Hi, my class. [ Children laugh ] 279 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,993 You guys would know this if you did your homework. 280 00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,329 Hello. Right up here, guys. Right up here. 281 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:24,207 Girl, is that my shirt? Oh, this? 282 00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,167 I got it off a popular Depop page. 283 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,670 @AvaFlaaaaaaaaaav with 10 A's? 284 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,713 Oh, my God. That's you? 285 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:31,840 I love your clothes. 286 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,342 Thank you. 287 00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,969 I closed that account down for tax reasons, 288 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,887 but I do live auctions now. 289 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,348 Here, scan this QR code and hit follow, 290 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,516 and make sure you turn on the notifications 291 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:42,517 so you don't miss anything. 292 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,685 The good stuff goes fast. 293 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,520 Oh, my gosh. That's so smart. 294 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,939 You know, way better than some piece of paper I'd lose. 295 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:48,982 Business cards are for gum, girl. 296 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,775 This is the future. Yes. 297 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:54,279 Okay, how many feet are in a yard? 298 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,364 Melissa, do you mind? 299 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,700 We talking business back here. 300 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,410 Okay, here's another one. 301 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,413 If I were to break this yard stick in half 302 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,207 out of anger, how long would each piece be? 303 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:09,627 The human... ♪ Body-ody-ody-ody-ody ♪ 304 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:10,837 [ Class singing along ] 305 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,756 ♪ Bones, blood, meat, you ♪ 306 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,383 [ Laughter ] 307 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:18,845 What clothes do we wear in the winter time? 308 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,180 [ Class shouting "Me" ] 309 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,222 -Coat! -Mittens! -Pajamas! 310 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,557 Very good. 311 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:23,808 [ Class shouting indistinctly ] 312 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,769 Hi, Keta. Hi, Hayley. Hi, Fred. 313 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,479 I'm sorry, Mrs. Howard. We'll be quick. 314 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,857 Come on. 315 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,358 All right, now. 316 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,986 And in what seasons do we wear -- 317 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,407 Sorry, Mrs. Howard. 318 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:42,911 In what seasons do we wear pajamas? 319 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:45,413 My pajamas have racecars on them! 320 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:46,706 Yes. 321 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:47,790 Bathroom's over there. 322 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,125 Oh, thanks, girl. 323 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:51,920 Buddy system. 324 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:58,259 Pajamas are actually year-round attire. 325 00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,470 Mrs. Howard, I have to go potty. 326 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,763 All right. Get in line. 327 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:04,140 But it's a memergency. 328 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,892 Well, come on. Come on. 329 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,019 Let's go. 330 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:10,188 Hey! No cutting! 331 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,899 Excuse me. My children are kindergartners 332 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,193 and they need the bathroom more than anyone. 333 00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,528 Not more than me. I had 10 juices. 334 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,113 You know what? 335 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,698 From now on, you all need to use the bathroom 336 00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,533 on the second floor. 337 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,952 But, Mrs. Howard, that's not fair. 338 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,536 You know what's not fair? 339 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:29,040 My children having to pay for your juice mistakes. 340 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,126 Now, please get out. 341 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,836 That way! Okay. 342 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,296 C-Come on. Sorry. 343 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,423 You trippin'. Ashley is a star. 344 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,925 I'm trying to run a classroom, 345 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,261 and she's actively working against that. 346 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,762 I can't even hear myself think over the kids 347 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,181 singing body-wody-whatever. 348 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,141 See, that's not even how the song goes. 349 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,685 I thought you was one of them spicy Whites. 350 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,769 I hate being wrong. 351 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,896 Ava, she is a menace. 352 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,816 She painted eyeballs on her lids so she could nap during class. 353 00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:57,110 [ Laughs ] Ava! 354 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,153 She's supposed to be prepping right now during lunch. 355 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,321 I don't even know where she is. 356 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,490 No. She's perfect. Like a little mini-me. 357 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,742 Hold on. 358 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,996 Ashley, make a note in my Halloween costumes ideas folder 359 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,748 for a Mini-Me and a sexy Dr. Evil. 360 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,792 Ashley: Copy. Ashley. 361 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,502 Where are you? 362 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,005 Getting water for Ava's clothes steamer. 363 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,506 She wanted to steam them. 364 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,342 Can you go back to prepping in my classroom, please? 365 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,344 Okay, you're kinda throwing a lot at me here. 366 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,514 Ashley, go back to my classroom. 367 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,559 What? I already did my prep. 368 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,893 I do it while I'm teaching. 369 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,521 I call it preaching. 370 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,732 Single file. Just line up right here. 371 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,191 All right? Bathroom? 372 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,277 Yeah. This is so inconvenient, 373 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,695 I can barely find a silver lining. 374 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,030 You found one? 375 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,489 We're getting good exercise. 376 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,616 It don't count if I don't got my FitBit on. 377 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:48,202 We cannot be expected to keep hauling our entire classes 378 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:51,164 up the stairs every five seconds. 379 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,248 We would help Barbara if she needed it, right? 380 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,542 Yeah. Absolutely. 381 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,919 Because it is her free period right now. 382 00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:00,465 [ Indistinct conversations ] 383 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,218 And it's not like we'd be disrupting her class. 384 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,803 Right? And I bet if I asked her, 385 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,638 she'd want us to use her bathroom. 386 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,600 Come on kids. Yeah, right. 387 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,060 Let's be quiet. Everyone, shhh. 388 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,228 Get low. Well, really, just Mr. Eddie get low. 389 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,272 [ Whispering ] Get low. Get low. Okay, come on. 390 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,067 Gregory: What's taking that kid so long? 391 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,860 Who's even in there? 392 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,280 Um, everything okay? 393 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,615 You know, Gregory, you try it. 394 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,450 I've been told I knock like a ghost. 395 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,951 Could y-- I know. Just -- 396 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,332 Girl: Hi, Mrs. Howard. 397 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,087 I distinctly remember telling both of you 398 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,380 that my bathroom was off limits. 399 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,257 Yes. Yes. But then I remembered 400 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,134 how if you needed help, I would give it to you. 401 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,303 And that's lovely, but I said no. 402 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,721 Barbara, look, it's your free period. 403 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,056 Your kids are at the gym. 404 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,350 I don't care what period it is. 405 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:56,562 I said no, and I do not need to explain my reasoning to you. 406 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,482 When I say something, that is the end of the discussion. 407 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:04,904 There is a period at the end of each of my sentences. 408 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,697 That felt like an exclamation point. Mnh-mnh. 409 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,616 I'm sorry. 410 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,576 Barbara, we are sorry, but we will be done in a minute. 411 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,078 The kids will be out, and it will be like 412 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,412 we were ever here. 413 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:17,083 [ Pipes groan, water bubbling ] 414 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,043 I think it's broken. 415 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,878 [ Pipes groan ] 416 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:26,384 Man, this is messier than Temple Homecoming '74. 417 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,718 The kindergarten toilet somehow took out 418 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,220 all the second floor toilets with it. 419 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,180 Third floor bathroom is all we got now. 420 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,723 And I just got off the phone with the city. 421 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,768 They said they can't do anything until next week. 422 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,478 Thank you, Janine. 423 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:41,107 I was hoping I could take my entire class 424 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,943 up and down the stairs all day long. 425 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,446 And since one of my students can't use the stairs, 426 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,700 I'll have to drop Johnny off with another teacher. 427 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,909 Thank you. 428 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,705 [ Thumping rhythmically ] Ah! Yeah. 429 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,040 You know, when you think about it, "Grindin'" by Clipse 430 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,834 was kind of the original Cup Song. 431 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,127 Mm. Oh, my God. 432 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,087 I never thought about it like that. 433 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,173 Anna Kendrick is such a fraud! 434 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,885 Oh, hi, Ashley. 435 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,262 Glad to see you hard at not-work. 436 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,389 I'm sure you finished that to-do list I gave you? 437 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,600 Nar. 438 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,227 But I did write it all down in my Notes app this time. 439 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,645 I'll get right on it. 440 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,899 Jacob, more on Anna Kendrick later. 441 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,110 Ava, status update. 442 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,112 All orders have been packaged for shipping. 443 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,822 Oh, never thought the district would send someone 444 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,574 so enterprising. 445 00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:32,491 Thank you. 446 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,081 I haven't seen you this mad since the bartender cut you off 447 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,626 at the batting cages. 448 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,836 I can't get this girl to put caps back on markers, 449 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:47,840 and here she is helping Ava run an entire pyramid scheme. 450 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,219 Just tossing it out there, feel free to toss it right back, 451 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:55,890 but maybe it's because Ava actually engages with her. 452 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,392 This is a job. It's not a meet and greet. 453 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:01,938 I'm just saying, it might help if you got to know her. 454 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,356 Or -- Or, you know, carry on as is. 455 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,066 Whatever you -- whatever you like. 456 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,901 Barbara: Let's get in line. Thank you. 457 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:10,529 [ Breathing heavily ] 458 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,448 [ Sighs ] 459 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,991 Air is thin up here on the third floor. 460 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,327 Mm-hmm. 461 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:17,662 Barbara, I owe you an apology 462 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:18,871 just as s-soon as I catch my breath. 463 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:19,956 Mm-hmm. 464 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,499 [ Sighs ] Thank you. 465 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,709 I know you didn't mean to ruin my day, Janine. 466 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,211 But I did. 467 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,963 You did. 468 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:30,675 I tried to tell you no, but you wouldn't listen. 469 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:35,763 All day long I have 5-year-olds asking me why this, why that. 470 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:39,433 I do not have the time for a bunch of 20-somethings 471 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,643 doing the same thing. 472 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,271 I hear you. I do. 473 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,398 But, Barbara, we need to know the why. 474 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,774 If you just tell us the answer, 475 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,860 we'll never learn how to solve the problems. 476 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,779 We need you to show your work, too. 477 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,155 Look, when you were first starting out, 478 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,615 didn't you have someone who, like, 479 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,783 walked you through everything 480 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,451 and showed you the tricks of the trade? 481 00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,912 I did not. 482 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:04,375 Oh. Okay. 483 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,586 I can't believe that they won't come out for a week 484 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,380 just because we have one working bathroom left. 485 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,549 Phew. 486 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:15,845 Janine, now is when you fix something. 487 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,805 When it's broken. 488 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,307 You see how that works? 489 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:22,184 I mean [chuckles] yeah, unless you're the city. 490 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,730 I will be right back. Watch my class. Thank you. 491 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,814 Excuse me. 492 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:30,359 [ Thumping rhythmically ] 493 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,279 So, uh, what's this little number called? 494 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,406 Oh, the "Grindin'" beat. My older sister taught it to me. 495 00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,950 Kids love it. 496 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,785 It's kinda like the Cup Song. 497 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,079 Oh, we have so much to discuss. 498 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,791 ♪ Signing ♪ 499 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,629 Wanna try? 500 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,213 Yeah, you know what, I'm good for now. 501 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,632 But how about this? How about we make time 502 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,425 for you to teach something cool like this 503 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:55,551 to the kids every week? 'Cause they're loving it. 504 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,219 Really? Absolutely. 505 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,596 And for now, why don't you start grindin' away 506 00:18:58,596 --> 00:18:59,930 on that math test? 507 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,141 Can do, boss. All right. 508 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,644 Melissa, I need your baseball bat. 509 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,354 Taped under my desk. Mm-hmm. 510 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:08,397 Oh, wipe it down when you're done. Got it. 511 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,650 Wait, can I get a baseball bat? 512 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,068 When you're older. 513 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,821 Come on, guys. Good job washing your hands. 514 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,281 Go sit down on the stairs. 515 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,824 Janine: Who else has to go? Come on up -- 516 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,284 Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! 517 00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,619 We're sorry. We're sorry. Barbara, what?! 518 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,621 Did everyone get a chance to use the bathroom? 519 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,039 I pooped. 520 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:25,998 That's great, sweetheart. 521 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,835 Um, okay... Come on, y'all. Let's take a step back. 522 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,463 Everybody step behind me. Just stand behind me. 523 00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,256 Just...behind us. Come on. 524 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,258 [ Clang, rattling, water rushing ] 525 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,427 Oh, my God. 526 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,850 Whew. 527 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:49,647 [ Panting ] Well, this bathroom is out of commission. 528 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,650 We will have to inform the district that our situation 529 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:57,321 is now officially an emergency. 530 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,824 Barbara! This is why I always want to meet up 531 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,367 with you and talk things out, 532 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,411 because you know how to handle every situation. 533 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,247 And clearly, I do not. 534 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,166 Well, I didn't have anybody to show me the ropes. 535 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:12,086 You were right. It would have been a big help. 536 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,004 Why don't I set aside some time 537 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:18,092 so anyone wanting to know how I handled a situation 538 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:21,095 and why can come -- Build community. 539 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,888 Talk to me. 540 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,682 Like office hours. Office hour. 541 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:28,352 Got it. Once a week. Once a month. 542 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,479 Deal. 543 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,440 Deal. 544 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,358 I have one thing to ask in return. 545 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,651 Yeah? 546 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:36,861 Get rid of this for me. 547 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,320 Oh, um... Thank you. 548 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,448 I don't wanna... Come on. 549 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,490 ...be a part of...this. Come on. Let's go, class. 550 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,871 I had to go over to the corner store 551 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,748 and they wouldn't give me the bathroom code 552 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,875 without a purchase, so I panic-bought some scratchers. 553 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,211 Come on, early retirement. 554 00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:57,047 Yeah, same. So terrible. 555 00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,175 Couldn't pee anywhere all day. 556 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,926 It was bananas. 557 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,144 [ Keypad beeps ] 558 00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:11,061 I know y'all didn't think I was using them 559 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,730 little kiddie toilets up there. 560 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:16,484 [ Soothing music plays ] 561 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,528 Unh-unh. No cameras in the bathroom. 562 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:20,905 But if you're wondering if I have a bidet, 563 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,406 you bet I bi-do. 564 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,365 ♪♪ 565 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,288 -- Captions by VITAC --