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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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# Now, this is a story of long,
long ago... #

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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SINGING

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Hello...
SHE SCREAMS

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Jo!

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JO!

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Please welcome your host,
Caroline Flack.

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She was an exceptionally good live
presenter, and when she got big,

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she got very big, very quickly.

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The Strictly Come Dancing champions
2014...

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Caroline and...
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

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Caroline Flack has been
charged with assault.

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The 40-year-old has
pleaded not guilty to charges

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of assaulting her boyfriend,
Lewis Burton.

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Clear the stairs, come on!

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Clear the stairs! Get back!

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CRYING: It was a fight.

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The only person
I ever hurt was myself...

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She was my little girl.

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It doesn't actually seem real.

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It doesn't.

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I...

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I just wish I'd have seen her.
I-I just wish I could've spoke

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and told her not to do it.

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That's all I wanted to say.

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And, I...I never got an opportunity
to do that.

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There were contradictions
in her personality where she seemed

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supremely confident on one level,
but then massively vulnerable

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and lacking confidence on another.

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It's hard to imagine a closer bond
than twins.

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It's a different world now,
and it's trying to come to terms

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with what happened and...

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..could it have happened any
differently

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if we'd done things differently?

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So, that's the hardest bit.

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Yeah? How do you invite
a snail to a party?

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I dunno.

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Do you want to come to a party?
LAUGHTER

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If she walked into a room,

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it was like a light going on,

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which is a gift.

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CHEERS
Yeah!

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This is fun even when my
eyes are open! Woo!

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I just remember her as being
the funniest,

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most stupid ball of energy.

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# We are family

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# I got all my sisters and me... #
Everyone's looking at us!

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Everyone fancied her.

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You wanted to hang out with her,
you wanted to spend time with her

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because you just, you thrived on it.

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It was lovely.

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Oh, Pinks!

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LAUGHTER

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I always used to tell her
she sounded like Peppa Pig.

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She sounds like Caroline.

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She thought that was hilarious.

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Sorry!
LAUGHTER

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I remember meeting her
a couple of years ago,

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and I couldn't believe
how recognised she was.

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I mean, it would be like
every other person.

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You'd hear,
"It's Caroline Flack, Caroline..."

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I was like,
"Wow, Flacky, you are..."

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Here she is!

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Have a seat!

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I will always remember at a red
carpet event, she'd be so nervous

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in the car -
that all eyes are on her.

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Caroline, just on the end!

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Caroline, look here on the end,
Caroline!

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When, she got out of the car,
it was always fine.

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There were fans screaming her name.

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Caroline!

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That's when you could see her come
alive.

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She was like,
"Oh, people do like me."

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Caroline!

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She would always tell me who she was
dating pretty much straight away.

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And we were heavily, heavily
involved in Caroline's private life.

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Caroline started dating Lewis,
and he was this very tall,

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good-looking model. He was an
ex-tennis player and she, you know,

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was pretty smitten with him.

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Let's talk love.

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Who's looking for the real thing?

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She was about to go into the sixth
series of Love Island.

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So, she was top of her game
when she met Lewis.

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The press were obsessed
with her love life.

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They always were.

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This night in December, Caroline was
just meeting another friend

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for a drink at Shoreditch House,

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and then I went there to meet
her and we had a few drinks.

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She had gotten home and then
Lewis had come back.

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And then she had...

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She had seen something on his phone.

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Lewis had been texting a woman.

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That was obviously going
to be a massive trigger for her.

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They had an argument
and he called the police.

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When the police arrived,
she was covered in blood.

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What prompted Lewis to call
the police,

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he received a cut to his head.

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She was taken away.

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Within 24 hours,
journalists had the story.

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The TV presenter Caroline Flack
was arrested and charged

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with assault by beating.

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Everything started to go
from bad to worse.

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I just went and sat
outside the police station.

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And just, yeah, waited
for it all to...play out.

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So, I was scared
probably more than she was.

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I remember her walking out the
police station not really,

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I don't think, really understanding
the impact it might have.

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We got a camera!

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SINGING IN UNISON

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# Had a drink... #

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Being twins, it's just a link and
a bond which I think is quite rare.

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All the way along, you know,
everything was the same.

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We played together all the time.

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# Oompah-pah, oompah-pah
that's how it goes... #

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When we were very young, you know,
we used to sing at home

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and stuff, and I sort of went
along with it a little bit.

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# Sweet little meek little
Marianne.. #

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That was the sort of pecking order.
She was just a bit bossy.

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I mean, she was Kylie
out of Kylie and Jason.

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Especially For You
by Kylie and Jason.

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Yeah, I was always the boy.

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# Especially for you

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# I'm gonna tell you,
you mean all the world to me... #

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Complete opposites,
complete opposites.

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Jody was positive,

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and Carrie was the negative.

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It was either, you know,
when you get a high or a low

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and that's what
she was like from a child.

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She was either very high

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or she was very down. You know,

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you couldn't stop her crying.

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What a day. No, not now, Carrie.

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Wait.
Carrie, why are you crying, babes?

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Eh?

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Aw, don't cry.

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Don't cry.

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Oh, darling, don't...

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And then she'd pick herself up -
she would pick herself up.

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GIGGLES

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Jody always had probably more
regular boyfriends.

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Carrie always - oh, she always...

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It was always someone
that wasn't quite right.

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And she went out with a boy
from the fair,

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which was - that was fine.

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But of course, he had to be older
cos he was working there.

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The waltzer boy.

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He was a bit older so it was all
a bit dramatic

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and secret and exciting.

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That was, I guess, the first time
she got super, super, super upset

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when she...when that
didn't work out.

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But she was heartbroken.

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She, I mean, I think she ran away
from home. She ran away,

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we didn't know where she was
and she'd gone to his house and,

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you know, was banging on his door.

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And she really, really, really,
really struggled emotionally.

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She was very, very depressed.

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And then that's something,
that pattern carried on forever.

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She really, really did
find heartbreak impossible.

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She had a long relationship
when she was in Cambridge,

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but it ended and then we got a call

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that she had taken some pills

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and she spent time...

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..in hospital, and then you could
tell, you know, that...

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It wasn't right, you know?
Her reaction wasn't right.

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Yeah, she didn't
handle heartbreak well.

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I don't know if I should...
I don't know.

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It feels so weird talking about it
because I know it's something

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she never wanted anyone
to know about.

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Each serious boyfriend,
she sort of...

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..took a lot of tablets,
drank a lot, ended up in

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an A&E situation, erm,

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a lot of times,

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and she really didn't think she
could cope with that feeling.

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Erm...

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And so that's, you know,
I think it was her trying to...

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..trying to control it.

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We went through all the doctors and
they saw to her and they said,

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"No, we think it was a one-off,"
you know...

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But there was always that fear
after then that...

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Erm...

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I don't know, you just, you just,
we... You always worried about...

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..in case anything happened.

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She was quite fascinated by the
subject of suicide always,

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and I knew that about her.
So, yeah, it was a worry.

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A worry for a long time
and something I think I tried

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to get my head around, er...

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..for a long time, so it's something
that's in my life

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that's been, yeah, I've...

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I prepared that it could happen.

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CAT MEOWS
Waffle?

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This is Carrie's cat,
that I've now inherited.

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Right, so this is, erm,
my memory box of Carrie.

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There's her school photo.
SHE CHUCKLES

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Then she went from that to that.

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SHE LAUGHS

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Lovely Mother's Day cards from her.

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And you don't realise at the time -
you read them, and you think,

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"Oh, that's nice."

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But when I read them now,
it's like...

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She used to say to me, "Oh, I've
booked this, Mum, are you coming?"

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You know, "Come with me,"
or "we'll go here, we'll go there."

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And I'd say, "Oh, I've got to work."

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And I did have to work, and I...

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Do you know, it just...

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You shouldn't...

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All the times you, sort of,
miss with someone.

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And you should just...

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..just do it, shouldn't you?

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There's one thing I really, erm,
treasure now, is this picture.

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I was with her when she bought it.

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I just thought it was so beautiful.

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And, to me, it now looks
like Carrie, you know?

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Just how...she floated away, really.

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It's three days after
I've been arrested...

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..for having a fight
with my boyfriend.

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Since then...

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..I lost my job.

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The job I've worked all my life on.

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Caroline was Love Island,
it was her show,

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it was what made her tick.

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She was devastated that...
that had gone from her.

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All the stuff that
she'd worked 20 years for -

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they were all gone overnight.

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They were just all gone.

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Maybe she'd never get
any of that back.

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Maybe she'd have to find
something else to do with her life.

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There wasn't a plan B.

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I've never hurt anyone in my life.

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TEARFULLY: The only person
I ever hurt is myself.

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SHE SOBS

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She always had something, you know?

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Something we could look on -
a strange channel.

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And it just, sort of,
grew from there, really.

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SHE GIGGLES

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What are you doing in my room?
Erm...

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..this is my room. Room 121?

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I first met Caroline
when she came into the agency.

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I think those early days,
in some ways,

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I just let Caroline get on with it.

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She wasn't a client that
I needed to go and look after.

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She didn't need you around.

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And obviously, that changed a lot,
sort of, in later years.

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HE SCREAMS

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What are you doing?!

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You can't just sit around,
singing all day!

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This isn't The X Factor.

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Let's meet this week's TMi-ers.

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Loved TMi.

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00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,240
They hadn't got anyone to do
one of the, erm, games,

251
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:53,760
she'd say, "Mum, you do it."

252
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,240
This one's my mum!

253
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,840
THEY CHEER

254
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,400
She can't see what I'm doing!

255
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,600
I met Caroline in 2001.

256
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,560
Cos Dee worked with her very
early doors.

257
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,720
Oh, she was brilliant!

258
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:08,520
And she was just this, kind of,
little, tiny little pocket rocket

259
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,080
whirlwind of fun.

260
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,760
It was a really fun time
to be working in television,

261
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,960
because you were able to make
your mistakes in public.

262
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,720
It kind of didn't matter.

263
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:21,800
And so, we were all learning
a craft and a trade together.

264
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,040
Ready?

265
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,400
Oh, Jesus, it's freezing.

266
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:29,200
Hello, and welcome to
PokerStars.com European Poker Tour,

267
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,840
coming to you once again from...

268
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,800
SHE LAUGHS

269
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,840
She didn't seem to think
of any pressure on her.

270
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,800
But she wasn't really well known.

271
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,920
Not until she did, really,
Xtra Factor with Olly.

272
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,400
CHEERING

273
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,240
We were the co-presenters

274
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,640
on The Xtra Factor.

275
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,960
I walked in and saw her for
the first time and thought,

276
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,480
"Wow, she's stunning, gorgeous,"
and she was full of life.

277
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,520
At the time, I was single,
and I think she was.

278
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:08,000
And I think straight away,
this chemistry came out of nowhere.

279
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,040
It was like, "Oh."

280
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,760
THEY SING

281
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,960
Yeah, it was exciting, everyone
was talking about us as the next,

282
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,480
you know, Richard & Judy,
the next Ant & Dec.

283
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,560
That's why the show was
such a success.

284
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,880
And, obviously, the fact that
everyone thought we were together.

285
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,400
Please welcome your hosts...

286
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,360
Caroline Flack!

287
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,560
So, The X Factor -

288
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,920
all of a sudden, we got
a phone call from Simon

289
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,880
saying he wants to revamp the show.

290
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,720
"We want you to replace
Dermot O'Leary."

291
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:52,600
When we got the job in 2015
to host the biggest,

292
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,200
most talked-about show on TV...

293
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:59,360
..it should've been the most
amazing experience of our lives.

294
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,440
But it ended up being, probably...

295
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:03,960
..our downfall, really.

296
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,480
If you've got a talent
for hosting live TV shows,

297
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,680
then the bigger shows on television

298
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:14,480
are in the white-hot heat
of Saturday night.

299
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,800
You don't get to have that career...

300
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,720
..and that level of fame
without taking all the shit

301
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:22,760
that comes with it.

302
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,200
After the first two, three shows,

303
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,280
we got it from all angles.

304
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,640
"Well, this show is good,
but it's missing something.

305
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,200
"It's missing Dermot."

306
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,480
And all of a sudden, you're just...
boom, beaten up, beaten up again.

307
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,480
And that was constant for ten weeks.

308
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,760
It was always knowing,
"Oh, what'll the media say now?

309
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,720
"What have people
said on Twitter now?"

310
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,600
I'd say it was the social media.

311
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,160
It was literally...
once Twitter started,

312
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,720
she would spend a lot of time
looking at comments.

313
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,120
Her rise to fame coincided
with the rise of social media.

314
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,400
I think she was in a kind of
weird cat-and-mouse game

315
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,920
with social media,
with press, with fame.

316
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,560
She hated it, but she couldn't
live without it. Yeah.

317
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,320
The abuse that she was getting...

318
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:18,920
It was awful.

319
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:19,960
Awful.

320
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,920
We did try quite hard to try
and wean her off social media.

321
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,960
But actually, I don't think we ever
really got a handle on that.

322
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000
Unfortunately.

323
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,480
CHRISTINE: I used to say to her,
"Just don't read it.

324
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,400
"Just get rid of your phone."

325
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,680
But she'd be on it constantly.

326
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,640
You'd try and talk to her,
but she'd be looking at her phone.

327
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,960
Them comments did affect
her every day.

328
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,440
The comments did hurt.

329
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:52,440
It was slightly destroying her,
I would say.

330
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,040
She...was suffering, basically.

331
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,920
And then, when you did
see her face-to-face,

332
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,400
nothing would get mentioned.

333
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,200
It would be, "Yeah, I'm fine."

334
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,160
Whereas, obviously, she wasn't fine.

335
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,400
Erm...

336
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,400
Yeah.

337
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:18,200
It's very difficult to know
the extent of someone's problems

338
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,560
if they tell you...

339
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,680
..if they sweep them
under the carpet.

340
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,320
She just hid it so well.

341
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,680
I think that's the thing,
she hid it so well.

342
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,800
And I think for me,
the only warning signs were

343
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,480
the addiction to social media.

344
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,520
And you definitely saw that
over the years progressing.

345
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:38,120
And obviously, that then grew
and grew, and didn't really

346
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,400
stop and go away.

347
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,880
REPORTERS CLAMOUR

348
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,280
Sometimes people ask
if she wanted to be famous,

349
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,920
which is a really good question.
"Did she want to be famous?"

350
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,400
She did want to be famous.

351
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:54,240
But the problem was she just
wasn't emotionally wired

352
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,200
to deal with all the pressures
that came with being famous.

353
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,560
But in the beginning,
we didn't know that.

354
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,200
Because it wasn't obvious then.

355
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,120
I remember the final
of The X Factor,

356
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,120
there was a big story.

357
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,320
And basically, we were getting
sacked after the show.

358
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,360
I was just like,
"This is the final of The X Factor!"

359
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,520
Yeah, it was an awful experience,

360
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,960
to know that everyone hated us
on the show.

361
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,440
DERMOT: It was tough. It hurt.

362
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,200
Sadly, as Caroline
got more famous,

363
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,560
I think she became addicted
to affirmation.

364
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:44,120
And all that terrible kind of
maelstrom ended up with us

365
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,200
on the sofa talking to you
about her now.

366
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:52,040
That X Factor experience
for both of us was...was hard.

367
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,600
You know, but again, Caroline...

368
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,920
God, she got it
so much more than me.

369
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,160
I don't know what it was.

370
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,240
GRAHAM NORTON: Dermot's back
on The X Factor.

371
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,560
Well done, girls. Yes.

372
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,800
APPLAUSE
Well done. Now...

373
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,280
..I'm not saying the writing was
on the wall for Caroline Flack,

374
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,920
but you could get better odds
of Anne Boleyn returning for

375
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,120
the second series of Wolf Hall.

376
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,480
That just really, really hurt her.

377
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,000
You thought,
"Oh, that's going to..."

378
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,320
You know,
"..make her feel so, so bad."

379
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,680
And that's when you again worried
about her.

380
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,120
Are you two good mates?
Yeah. We're best friends.

381
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,360
Are you?
What's the worst thing she does?

382
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,280
Go on. Go on, Mum. The worst thing?

383
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,960
Yeah, what's the worst thing?
Doesn't answer her phone.

384
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,920
She's busy. She worries a lot.

385
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,120
I don't answer my phone, she gets
in the car and drives to London.

386
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,680
That's great. And knocks on my door,

387
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,680
"Why aren't you answering
your phone?"

388
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,160
She'd text me in the middle of
the night, and one night,

389
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,240
I remember got in my car
to drive to London.

390
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,840
And halfway there, she went,
"Oh, it's all right now."

391
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,560
But she just, yeah...
used to brush it off then.

392
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:04,000
And what always got her out of it
was having to go to work,

393
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,800
or having to do something.

394
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,360
And then, the next day,
it might, you know,

395
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,640
things might seem better.

396
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,200
But you just never really knew.

397
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,040
LORRAINE KELLY: As Caroline Flack
steps down from Love Island,

398
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,080
we're finding out
who is set to replace her.

399
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:24,240
Yeah, that's showbiz.

400
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,960
First, though, Andi Peters has
joined us - the competition!

401
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,720
Just to laugh when it was
the worst time in Carrie's life,

402
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,440
and say, "That's show business."

403
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,480
Well, it shouldn't be show business.

404
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,480
Should not be show business.

405
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:41,520
She started to feel that she
was losing her grip on her life.

406
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,920
The attacks were coming in
at her from all sides.

407
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,840
The press.

408
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,040
She was on her phone,

409
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,280
and she was just scrolling
through Twitter.

410
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:01,360
She had people on social media -
that this is "what she deserved".

411
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:05,680
Fathers for Justice decided to start
a Twitter campaign against her,

412
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,960
of her in a line-up
with the heading,

413
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,600
"This is what a domestic
abuser looks like."

414
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,040
The madness doesn't stop.

415
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,360
The echo chamber got really
loud and really angry.

416
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:22,560
She just felt really ashamed that
that's what people saw her as -

417
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,160
I think it was just too much.

418
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,120
It made her so on-edge
and so paranoid.

419
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,640
She'd had bad press before,
and she'd get over it.

420
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,040
But there was always a way out
that she couldn't....

421
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,320
This time, she couldn't see.

422
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:38,920
She just couldn't see a way out.

423
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:10,280
Caroline Flack was surrounded
by photographers as she arrived

424
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,960
at court accused of assaulting
her boyfriend.

425
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,840
SHOUTS

426
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,600
That was awful.

427
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,160
Yeah, that was awful.

428
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:29,040
She just seemed tiny to me,
and she was frightened and...

429
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,320
She just looked so lost and sad,

430
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:39,680
and it was - it was horrible.

431
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,920
Her boyfriend, former professional
tennis player and model

432
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,680
Lewis Burton, arrived separately.

433
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,160
He's previously said he wants
the case against Caroline Flack

434
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,480
to be dropped and doesn't support
the prosecution.

435
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:56,200
Prosecutor Katie Weiss told the
court both were covered in blood.

436
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,120
And in fact, one of the police
officers likened the scene

437
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:00,720
to a horror movie.

438
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,680
The presenter pleaded not guilty
to assault.

439
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,400
She put her head in her hands
as the court refused an application

440
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,920
to remove bail conditions,

441
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,120
preventing her from contacting
Burton.

442
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,920
There was, erm, a love element
in there as well.

443
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,680
At the time,
she just wanted to see him.

444
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,840
It was that feeling
she knew too well

445
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,720
that she knew
she couldn't cope with.

446
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,320
Step back, please! Out of the way!

447
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,120
From that day,
she was in a very bad way.

448
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:39,520
I know her, so I knew it was
going to be unbearable.

449
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:43,880
It was going to trigger
all the things that she finds...

450
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,840
..difficult, so it didn't just
trigger one of those things,

451
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:51,280
it triggered everything in her life
that she finds difficult.

452
00:26:57,120 --> 00:27:00,360
I first met Caroline, 2003.

453
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,000
We were both young in the industry.

454
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,240
I was an aspiring TV producer.

455
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,240
She was an aspiring TV presenter.

456
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,680
I was emotionally stable.

457
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,360
I would run like this,

458
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,040
and she was up and down.

459
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,320
I was already attached.

460
00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:19,760
I had a boyfriend,
who I then later married.

461
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,960
She was on and off attached
to various different people.

462
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,840
She did go a bit...
out with some funny...

463
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,240
Yeah, not funny people.

464
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,920
I don't mean that, but people
you don't expect.

465
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,760
Yeah, her world. But it's where her
world took her, really.

466
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,800
Prince Harry was like the defining
moment, really.

467
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,720
The papers had got hold
of it and that had never

468
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:47,240
happened to her before and she was
really upset about it.

469
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,080
There's a catchy headline

470
00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:51,160
and the tabloid image of them

471
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,640
together is great cos it proves
that they're together.

472
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:57,280
And then you stick that next to a
photo of her looking really sexy

473
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:01,520
and glamorous and suddenly
what the page is saying is "slut".

474
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,760
And then she has to live with that.

475
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,680
It got to a point with Carrie

476
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,960
that she was on the front page
of the paper so often.

477
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,880
It was just like, "Oh, it's just
another day.

478
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,560
"Caroline's on the front
of the paper."

479
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,760
You know, she's probably immune
to it, but she never was. She...

480
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,440
You don't become immune
to that, do you?

481
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,280
This says that you're in a new
relationship.

482
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,840
Oh, I'm not here to talk about my
love life. Are you good, happy?

483
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,200
I'm all good. I'm all good.

484
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,000
Just newspaper cannon fodder,
isn't it?

485
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,000
And there's probably part
of her that loved it

486
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,680
and got a buzz from it,

487
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,840
and there's part of her that it just
chipped away at her soul.

488
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,160
It was slow-motion...

489
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,080
..it happening in front of our eyes.

490
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,760
CHEERING
It's time for One Direction!

491
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,560
# It's gotta be you... #

492
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:51,280
I was there at X Factor
when Harry was 16, 17.

493
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:53,680
And you could see there was a lot
of flirting going on.

494
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,200
ARCHIVE: Which girl do you fancy
the most, Harry? Caroline.

495
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,040
LAUGHTER

496
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,400
A lot of the Harry Styles fans,

497
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,520
there was a big hate brigade.

498
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:08,040
It was sort of a personal hate
for someone that they didn't know.

499
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:12,280
If you're not the person, it's easy
to see that that's ridiculous,

500
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,200
but Carrie couldn't see that.

501
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,000
An older woman dating a teenage boy,

502
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:21,880
in society's view,
is not acceptable.

503
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,400
But because she kept doing these
things and like fuelling that fire,

504
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,720
then there would be a backlash
to it.

505
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,280
But the backlash was extraordinary.

506
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:36,640
And so then, when she started to
publicly mess up with her love life,

507
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,640
that made it even more compelling,

508
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,080
like you were buying in to
her soap opera.

509
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:42,920
Here was the profound irony
to all of this,

510
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,200
she's hosting a show called
Love Island,

511
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,240
and she couldn't, herself,
find love.

512
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,920
ARCHIVE: Brace yourself, Britain,
it's the return of the Flack.

513
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,920
# Can't stop thinking about you... #

514
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,000
I'm a sort of TV producer by trade.

515
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:02,200
The biggest job we did together
was the first series of Love Island.

516
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,800
You know, it's a show about hot
people falling in and out of love

517
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,720
and having relationships
they shouldn't have

518
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:08,960
and being a bit messy.

519
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,760
And you're, like, literally
that's Caroline Flack, the TV show.

520
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:16,200
Hello, boys. ALL: Hello.
Welcome to Love Island.

521
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:17,720
Thank you very much.

522
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,320
And as a producer on it, you sit
back and you're kind of thinking

523
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:21,760
like it's kind of not real.

524
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,640
But to Caroline, it's like,
"What do you mean?

525
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,280
"Like it's these people that...
Of course they're in love."

526
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,040
She was struggling with her
relationships.

527
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,160
I think at that time she was trying
to find

528
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,360
a person to settle down with,
I think.

529
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,160
And then I found somebody
and that wasn't easy, I think.

530
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,720
I have no comment on that one.

531
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,080
Everybody's asking me that.

532
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,920
I don't feel like I had enough time
for Carrie all the time.

533
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,240
Yeah. I feel bad, yeah.

534
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,600
Because it's irreversible now,

535
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,000
so it's, you know, it's...final.

536
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,280
So you don't get a chance to -

537
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,320
to address it.

538
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,120
Caroline never really wanted
to grow up.

539
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,560
I think she was really jealous
of everyone else's

540
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,480
emotional stability and their
ability to settle down

541
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,000
and get married and have children,
and I think she really wanted that.

542
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,880
But it wasn't in her make-up.

543
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,400
She just wasn't built that way.

544
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,880
Caroline, why are you being like
this? Come on, Caroline.

545
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,800
It was really difficult
for her to find that connection

546
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,000
with somebody because her world
became more and more surreal.

547
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:32,440
Why are you being like this?

548
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:37,120
And because of that negative element
of her particular fame...

549
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:38,840
..I think it was hard to get
someone,

550
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,840
to find somebody who understood
that.

551
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,600
First thing, congratulations, miss!
Thank you very much.

552
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,880
Can you show your sparkling ring
to our camera, please?

553
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,400
It needs resizing at the minute.

554
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,440
That was very, yeah, sudden.
Very sudden.

555
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,520
And I think at the time it was
lovely.

556
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,480
Talking weddings, have you got any
plans yet?

557
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,280
Oh! I don't even know what to do.

558
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,600
I never thought I'd get married,
so, for me, I don't know...

559
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,960
Do I call someone up?
Hi, I need to get married!

560
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,040
That was quite
a turbulent relationship.

561
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,480
She was really happy to get engaged
and there was something

562
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,120
about it that she felt would be OK
and would work,

563
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,160
but it didn't.

564
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:19,840
It was probably tough

565
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:21,960
to have a relationship with her,

566
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,360
but also brilliant.

567
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,280
And actually, the truth is,
if you want the best of Caroline,

568
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,840
you have to take
the worst of Caroline as well.

569
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,200
I just don't think, ultimately,

570
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,960
she met a man who quite
had the balls to do that.

571
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,320
There is nothing more worrying
than getting a text from Caroline

572
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:46,960
saying, "I've got a new man and
you're really going to like him."

573
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,880
So every time she got a boyfriend
she really liked, we'd say,

574
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,480
"Oh, it's lovely.

575
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,000
"Maybe this time it'll all be
right."

576
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,440
That's awful. But it's true.

577
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,080
"I've got a new man and you're
really going to like him."

578
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,760
Had that text several times.

579
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,160
And every time I would think,

580
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:07,440
"Fingers crossed."

581
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,720
She'd meet someone, be very happy,

582
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:14,000
but you were always worried that
if it ended or when it ended,

583
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:16,080
she would get...

584
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,960
She couldn't handle heartbreak.
She couldn't - ever.

585
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,400
When I look back now, I get it.

586
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,920
She was feeling things so much
more deeply than I would have done

587
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,320
in the same situation.

588
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:39,440
And I don't think I really got
that when we were younger.

589
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,600
I just thought she was a pain
in the arse.

590
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,960
And now I get it. Now I understand
that you'd be a friend,

591
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,320
and then there will come a certain
point where you think,

592
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:57,400
"Oh, come on, it's not THAT bad."
But I think it was that bad.

593
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:10,920
I just think she'd sometimes go
into a place where she needed help.

594
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:15,320
And usually it was -
it was possible to help her.

595
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,560
Sometimes it wasn't.

596
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,360
Sometimes you just couldn't get in.

597
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,840
Christmas, we didn't think
she was coming,

598
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,720
we didn't know where she was going.

599
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:33,840
Then Christmas morning, she said,
"Are you at home?"

600
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,080
I was, "Of course I'm at home."

601
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,800
And, um, cos we couldn't get
hold of her on Christmas Eve and,

602
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,680
um, and she drove up home
and she had the last Christmas

603
00:34:42,720 --> 00:34:44,960
with us and it was lovely.

604
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,640
So she, yeah, she forgot about
trying to figure out

605
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,120
what was going on for the day

606
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,000
and came and had a really, really
good time.

607
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,000
We said that was the best,
best thing.

608
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,760
Then she laughed and we had fun
with her and we thought, "Oh, maybe

609
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,200
"she's turned the corner,
you know, it'll be all right."

610
00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:04,040
And we said, "Now, just stay here
until..."

611
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,000
But then she got up Boxing Day
and she drove home.

612
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:13,120
Um, and you don't... You didn't know
what was going on in her head.

613
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,280
You just didn't know.

614
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:20,840
Christmas came and went.

615
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:25,880
She was being really sensible
and looking after herself.

616
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:30,120
And when the image turned up on
January 1st, 2020

617
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,680
on the front of The Sun,
she almost gave up hope.

618
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:41,120
The early hours at the morning
of her arrest, there was an argument

619
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:46,960
between Caroline and Lewis,
he received a small cut to his head,

620
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,280
which was treated on the scene
when the police arrived,

621
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,040
and then he went home with his mum.

622
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:56,200
Her blood was on those sheets
in the bedroom.

623
00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:59,040
That was her blood,
she'd cut herself.

624
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:05,640
She had to have plastic surgery on
her arm where she'd cut it so bad.

625
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,480
She did do that when she got
really low.

626
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,800
She'd cut herself before.

627
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,760
That was her worst nightmare,

628
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:20,160
that she did not want
that to be made public

629
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,960
because she'd hurt herself

630
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,840
and she didn't want to have to speak
about that or...

631
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,280
I don't know,
she felt ashamed about that...

632
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,840
I have never had the kind
of exposure or press intrusion

633
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:37,280
that Caroline had.

634
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,480
That's ultimately what killed her,
I believe.

635
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,320
And, you know,
I'm sure many others do.

636
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:47,760
I think she realised that,
you know, everything

637
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,920
was going to be in the press
and that they'd find out

638
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,240
that she was...
you know, had these dark moments.

639
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,680
And she didn't - she didn't want
people to know that.

640
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,000
We've got some breaking news
for you now.

641
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,480
In the past few minutes,
it's been confirmed that

642
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:31,480
the TV presenter Caroline Flack
has died at the age of 40...

643
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:37,760
She was my little girl,
but that was part of Jo.

644
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,360
It's just... Just part of her.

645
00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:44,560
How do you start to come
to terms with her loss?

646
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:47,040
I don't know.

647
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:50,840
Just... Just carry on.

648
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,400
It's hard to see her
and to hear her...

649
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,560
..so I sort of avoid it.

650
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,680
What would you say to her now?

651
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,000
I don't know.

652
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:35,240
Oh, do you remember that one?

653
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,520
That's when I had to cut all her
hair off

654
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:40,080
because she had eczema,
so you kept long hair

655
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,440
and that was the one time that you
really looked...different.

656
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:44,880
THEY CHUCKLE SOFTLY
Aw.

657
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,800
Oh, that's a lovely one of Carrie.

658
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:52,400
Oh, that's beautiful.

659
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,880
I think it's hard to look at it
recently because... Yeah.

660
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,120
..that's what we've lost.
We've lost...

661
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,000
We've lost Carrie. Yeah.

662
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,480
Who do you blame for all of this?

663
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,280
I don't know. That's really
difficult...

664
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:08,680
That's really difficult...

665
00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:12,280
You know, you say,
"Well, if she hadn't met Lewis,

666
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,040
"it wouldn't have happened.

667
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,800
"If the police hadn't done that,
it wouldn't have happened,

668
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:18,920
"if she'd have got off with
a caution..."

669
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,400
You just don't... "If she hadn't
done that," you know, and, you know,

670
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:26,680
"If she hadn't looked at his phone
and seen a text from a girl"...

671
00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:31,080
I just don't know, but Carrie's
state of mind was such that...

672
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,360
..any of those things could have
done it

673
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,320
because it was how she...was...

674
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,800
Someone else could have probably
dealt with it, but she couldn't.

675
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,720
She just hated the thought that
people thought she was like

676
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:48,320
this awful person. And is that
because she just really cared

677
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:52,440
what everyone thought? Yeah, yeah,
she wouldn't... Even when she'd

678
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:56,560
taken pills as a young person,
we weren't allowed to...

679
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,040
She didn't want anyone to know.

680
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,360
She didn't want anyone to know
she got down.

681
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,520
And I know they say, "Oh, everyone's
talking about it now,"

682
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,720
but I think a lot of people
that really suffer with depression

683
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,360
still don't talk about it.

684
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:10,840
They don't.

685
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,520
You're either ashamed of it or
you're frightened that

686
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,880
they'll think something...about you,

687
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,680
so I think people are still
frightened to say it.

688
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,320
What was she, about 14 there?

689
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,480
Yeah.
CHRISTINE CHUCKLES

690
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,280
Oh, dear... I just...

691
00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:33,640
This is really sad...

692
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:36,880
SHE SOBS

693
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,840
..but then I'm really pleased
we've got all these...photos,

694
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,320
but this is the first time I've
looked through...

695
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,520
SHE SNIFFLES

696
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:46,640
..to look through...

697
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:55,760
Sorry. No, don't be.

698
00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:02,160
She wouldn't talk to me.

699
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,480
I'd never known her do that
before, actually.

700
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,600
And then she got in touch
and then, actually, we had a chat.

701
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:09,560
She said it was fine.

702
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,320
And then I took my eye off the ball

703
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,760
and I spent maybe two or three days
not worrying.

704
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,760
That is what you learn, isn't it,
about suicide?

705
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,760
That often someone's just waiting
for you

706
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,320
to take your eye off the ball...

707
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,760
..and then they pretend
everything's fine...

708
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:28,440
..when it's not.

709
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,880
I just know that my heart breaks
every time I think of Caz and think

710
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,880
of what she would have had to have
gone through to take her own life,

711
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,120
you know, that...

712
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,440
And that's going to hurt
for a long time cos it's...

713
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,480
We got on...
We were... We were great together.

714
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:53,520
INAUDIBLE

715
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,680
All that talent, all that love,
all the joy that she brought,

716
00:41:57,720 --> 00:41:59,040
just gone.

717
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:03,600
She has gone.

718
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,440
It's... It's just horrible.

719
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,800
And you feel like saying, "Come on,
you've made your point, come back.

720
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:12,800
"We've all listened,
we've heard and I'm sorry...

721
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,160
"..that we didn't listen
more, sooner."

722
00:42:17,240 --> 00:42:19,600
It was playing out in
slow motion for us.

723
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,240
We still didn't do enough.

724
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,600
# If I had to do it all again

725
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:29,280
# I wouldn't change
a single thing

726
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,680
# There's no question in my
heart... #

727
00:42:32,720 --> 00:42:35,360
It's difficult to think all of the
things that you remember

728
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,240
about her, really.

729
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:41,640
I think it was that she was funny.
She just used to make us laugh.

730
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,720
Hello, I'm Caroline Flack.

731
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,840
SHE LAUGHS HEARTILY

732
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,480
I was proud of her there.

733
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,640
She was good at her job, and I...

734
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:58,440
I like the fact that she...

735
00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:03,800
..had so many people that did
really like her, didn't they?

736
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,720
But it's awful that
you don't know that...

737
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,680
You know, when you're feeling
that bad...

738
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,920
Toodle-oo, everyone. Toodle-oo.

739
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:18,120
# Goodbye, goodbye,
we're very sad to see you go

740
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:23,560
# Goodbye, goodbye,
it's time to wave goodbye! #

741
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,800
APPLAUSE
Toodle-oo.Toodle-oo.

742
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:29,360
# Welcome to your life

743
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:33,120
# There's no turning back... #

744
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,360
I just won't ever forget that she
made my life much more fun

745
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,280
than it ever would have been.

746
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,240
I've never met anyone like her, I'll
never meet anyone else like her.

747
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,800
If I walked into the same
room as her, like, across the bar,

748
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:48,120
she'd throw her hand in the air,
"Pinky!"

749
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,960
You'd light up because you knew
she was so happy to see you,

750
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,360
so she made you feel a million
dollars in that moment...

751
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,800
I've just always got this image of
her one arm in the air, just like...

752
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,000
Yeah, it was nice to talk...
It was good to talk today.

753
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,760
I enjoyed talking about her.

754
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,960
# It's my own design

755
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:11,920
# It's my own remorse... #

756
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:15,800
I never had as much fun
with anybody ever,

757
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,120
so, while she was living,
it was good fun.

758
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,200
Band metal!

759
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,760
# ..freedom and of pleasure

760
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,160
# Nothing ever lasts forever... #

761
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:27,800
That's my memory, you know, because
that's what they were like,

762
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,800
even at, like, 40-year-olds.

763
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,160
# ..rule the world

764
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:36,280
# There's a room where the light
won't find you... #

765
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:39,520
Even though Carrie
struggled, emotionally,

766
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,640
she was not a weak person.

767
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:45,000
Her emotional struggles were just
a little part of who she was,

768
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,640
and she was actually
someone who lived a great life

769
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,040
that was really full of joy.

770
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,800
That's what's so great
you miss about her.

771
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:58,800
# Everybody wants to
rule the world. #

772
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:14,160
We all needed a place just to come
and sit and remember, really,

773
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,440
this just fitted it. It was just...

774
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:17,720
Just beautiful.

775
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,200
You come here and...

776
00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:24,200
I don't know, I think it allows you
to talk to Carrie

777
00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:26,440
cos you feel silly anywhere else!

778
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:29,840
Here she is.

779
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,480
SHE LAUGHS

780
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,480
She's become a wooden bench!
THEY LAUGH

781
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:36,520
Aw...

782
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,280
It's as if she's there, really.

783
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,680
As if she's still here...

784
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:44,280
..but she's not.

785
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:52,920
"Our beautiful girl whose tiny feet
made such a big imprint

786
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:54,560
"on the world,

787
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,120
"Carrie, we miss and love
you so very much.

788
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:02,680
"Just to have another moment,
another kiss, another smile,

789
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:04,880
"one more chance to hear you
laughing

790
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:06,680
"or just to hold you for a while."

791
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,760
And I think that said it all,
really.

792
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:14,600
SHE SNIFFLES

793
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:45,360
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