("Arthur's Theme" playing)
* Once in your life you find her *
* Someone that turns your heart around *
* And next thing you know you're closing *
* Down the town *
* Wake up and it's still with you *
* Even though you left her way 'cross town *
* Wondering to yourself *
* "Hey, what've I found?" *
* When you get caught between the moon *
* And New York City *
(scanner beeping)
* I know it's crazy *
* But it's true *
* If you get caught between the moon and New York City *
(beeping)
* The best that you can do *
* Is fall in love *
(heavy metal music playing)
Hey, Ruby. Rube!
Yeah, I know, Mike.
"Staplehead."
Your hit. That was your hit, yeah?
This was it.
Mike: Fucking turn it up!
Ruby: You don't have to, alright.
Mike: Doxxxology.
Fuck yeah!
I had this on CD.
Back in the day.
My daughter tells me I'm too old to rock,
but I say bullshit.
I work with Ruby Ruin!
Respect you, lady.
-Hey, Victor. -Hey.
Tour time again.
You interested in some roadie work for a few weeks?
Man the merch table?
No. Sorry.
Man: (on PA) Ruby, you have a visitor
in the break room.
Hey. Uh, drummer, right?
Thanks for answering the ad.
I'm Ruby.
Yes, you are.
Wow.
This is ama-- I'm Gavin.
Wow. Nice to meet you.
This is fucking amazing, dude, I'm...
Okay.
I've just been a diehard Doxxx fan
since I was, like, two years old.
Dude, this is fuckin' badass.
My mom said she'd catch me banging
my sippy cup to "Staplehead."
Just aaah!
Wow. That's--
Gavin: When I saw the listing
to be the drummer of Doxxxology
on fucking Craigslist,
I was just, just what, dude, fucking...
Alright, we leave Monday, a three-week tour,
mostly bars and small venues,
but it'll give us time to tighten up the act,
maybe write a few new songs,
'cause we end the tour in Milwaukee,
at the Lariat, opening for Krampus.
Holy shit, you're opening for Krampus.
Yo, that's, that's badass, man.
-Ruby: Yeah, it's a big deal. -But hey...
if you guys are looking to freshen up
your material at all,
I do a little bit of, like, writing of my own stuff--
And you got your own gear?
Yeah, I've got a TAMA kit with a double bass pedal
and a vintage amp, so everything you need.
Great. But wait, no,
what the fuck do you need an amp for?
I blow my backing vocals through my fuzz pedal,
and it gives it like this,
this crunchy, chewy, disgusting...
-(growling) -Good. Fine.
Fine. You're in.
-I'm in? -You're in.
Holy shit, dude.
Look at me now, motherfuckers!
This is gonna rock so fucking hard.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
I will not let you down, I promise you.
Alright, RV leaves Monday. I'll send you the deets.
Gavin, we're all in our 40s.
Just take a fucking bath.
Take a bath. Aaahhhh!
(Gavin laughs)
I'm not joking.
Okay.
* Living on discount macaroni *
* Can't even get a job with my uncle Tony *
* You sent your goons to repo my truck *
* What the actual fuck *
* I can play guitar and I'm a decent singer *
* Now cut my wedding ring off my dead finger *
* You say you wanna deal but you're such a phony *
* You're never gonna get that alimony *
Al! Al. God. Stop.
That's awful. God.
How's the divorce going, bro?
Not good.
The lyrics are temporary.
I just slug out whatever's in my head,
we can zhuzh it up later.
There's no zhuzhing. It's a turd.
I don't want to zhuzh the turd.
We have three weeks, man.
We got to come up with something that's going
to pop at this Krampus show.
What's the point?
They're just gonna want to hear "Staplehead."
The point, Eskie, is that I'm not ready
to lay down and die as some fucking nostalgia act.
Are you?
I just moved back in with my mom,
and I got my AARP membership this year.
So it's been a banner year for me.
And Al with his divorce.
It's not going well.
-And you think law school is gonna-- -Eskie: Law school?
You think I can afford law school?
It's an online MSL degree.
I can't even afford to sell out.
It's desperate times, Rube.
Piling in this shitty van year after year
for the rest of our lives,
driving around playing Irish pubs.
I swear to Christ, I'm gonna start crying
I really think about it.
Ruby: The goal is not this.
The goal is to get back.
To have shit acts like Krampus opening for us.
That feeling on stage, the crowd,
do you remember that?
We're metal gods.
What would you do to get that back?
Anything.
-Anything. -Ruby: Anything.
We need to do this.
And all we need,
all we need is to write one new song
that doesn't suck.
I had a kind of a doomy sort of riff in A,
try this.
(playing riff)
That's not bad.
(laughter)
(woman talking on screen)
(laughter continues)
Geez, where'd you get this kid?
Juilliard.
Really?
Fucking Craigslist.
Where do you think?
That's wild. (laughing)
(strumming guitar)
Let's see if Cleveland rocks!
(tapping)
(heavy metal music plays)
So this tape line goes right here.
-Man: Okay. -Not here.
-Man: Mm-hmm. -And not here.
-Man: Okay. -So I, so I don't hunch.
-Man: Alright. -I got a sciatica.
-I can't hunch. -Okay.
Maggie May,
I ain't seen one of these since Foghat.
Battle Creek, show us your metal!
(tapping)
(heavy metal music playing)
-(laughter) -("Benson" theme song playing)
Fuckin' Benson, man.
Al: Two, three, and...
* Merch girl *
* Working all night *
* Merch girl *
* Fits me just right *
* Merch girl *
* Last one to leave *
* Merch girl *
* Nothing up her sleeve, yeah *
-Alright. Okay. -There's no bridge yet.
Fuck a bridge. What are we, Christopher Cross?
Just power through it.
What do you think? There's something there?
Deuteronomy, what do you think? Something there?
I got my audiobooks on.
Hey, kid, what do you think?
Why don't you guys just try to write another song
like "Staplehead"?
I mean, "Staplehead." That song is, um, good.
So just try and, you know...
make another song like that.
Why don't I just fucking traipse into the fucking forest
and capture a bejeweled fucking Pegasus?
That would be rad too.
Every second of every day,
I try and write a song like "Staplehead."
I remember the first time I heard it,
that feeling was like a needle made of ice
going into my brain.
Like seeing the face of God
and fucking God saying,
"That's what a fucking hit feels like."
I've been chasing that feeling for the past 20 years
and never come close.
"Staplehead"'s a fucking curse.
Ruby: That song ruined my life.
But the song is your big hit.
We didn't write it.
-What? -Yeah, we didn't fuckin' write it.
Our drummer Belinda did, and she gets all the royalties.
Now that bitch is selling leggings in the suburbs.
But you guys continue to play the song.
We have to every gig. Have to.
And when we're not on stage, we hear it everywhere.
And we don't get one red cent.
It's a fucking curse.
Fuck that, though.
Tonight, we open with "Merch Girl."
I got a feeling about this.
Two, three and...
(strumming)
* Merch girl *
* Nothing up her sleeve, yeah *
(lone person clapping)
We suck.
Hey,
aren't you the band that does "Staplehead"?
Play "Staplehead"!
No.
We're not playing "Staplehead."
(playing intro to "Staplehead")
* Up from the dust above the ruins *
* By fire *
* By flood *
* Atop my rusty chariot *
-* Lusting for your blood * -Woo!
* Staplehead *
* Tonight is where you rise *
* Staplehead *
* Tonight we rise *
* Staplehead *
(singing falsetto): * Tonight we rise *
* Staplehead *
-(crowd cheering) -Yeah! Fucking DeKalb, Illinois,
we love you!
Punk rock metal, baby.
Dude, are you okay?
-Yeah, man, I'm fucking good. -(cymbal crashes)
You little shit.
You ever steal my scream again,
I'll break more than your fucking face.
(siren wailing in distance)
Hey!
Drummer boy.
Krampus!
(evil laughter)
Jesus. It's inane.
This will get you popular these days,
this Jackass shit?
People love it.
Krampus Cam. They got Ozzy with that thing once.
Dude, that was fake.
-(camera shutter clicks) -And what are you doing?
Our drummer got hit in the head
with a stapler during "Staplehead."
That's what we call provenance.
-Got a secret little eBay store. -(door opens)
It's not community property. Don't tell Edward.
Kid's hanging with us tonight.
Let's party!
I got to be up early, man, really.
Acid reflux, man.
Sober ten years.
Cool. Cool. Alright.
Hey, kid. I'm sorry about tagging you.
Don't let that shit happen again.
But I'm sorry.
Listen, th-that's me totally out of bounds.
It's, it's your set. It's your scream. I'm sorry.
And I know that I'm a lot to put up with, you know,
but I just thank you guys
for puttin' up with me.
I mean, really.
And I know you guys are looking for a new song,
and, um, I don't want to overstep or anything,
but I wrote something and if it sucks, it sucks.
Just let me know. Just say it, no harm.
But I want you to hear it.
It's not like we got anything else.
Tss... (mouths)
Here we go. (clears throat)
(rock music playing)
(inaudible singing)
* *
(light clicks on)
What did you think, Ruby?
Uh...
Yeah, there's some good stuff there, kid.
Keep working on it.
Seriously? Okay.
(laughs)
And I guess I will leave you guys
to your own party or whatever.
Ha, ha, ha!
I'm gonna go to bed. Good night, guys.
(door closes)
Holy shit.
I'm not crazy, right?
Tell me I'm crazy.
It's a fuckin' hit.
It's gonna be "Staplehead" all over again.
Doesn't have to be.
("Rumble" by Link Wray playing)
* *
So I'm fired.
You're dragging the energy of the band down.
We're trying to grow wings, and you're...
You just, you're not on board.
How'd he take it?
He'll live.
Well, I broke my sacred commitment
to veganism for this.
I got it, dudes, thank you.
Hey, kid.
Yo, what's up? Whoa...
When we play "Staplehead" tonight...
Mm-hmm.
...I want you to take my scream.
No, no, no, no, no.
That is not my--
-That's yours. -Ruby: You have earned it.
(amp drones)
It's a fuckin' honor, man.
I just need, I just need a second if you--
(high-pitched feedback)
(band playing "Merch Girl"
* Merch girl *
* Working every night *
* Merch girl *
* Fits me just right, yeah *
(scattered applause)
Alright.
Are you ready for a banger?!
-(audience cheering) -(tapping)
(playing intro to "Staplehead")
* Up from the dust above the ruins *
* By fire *
* By flood *
* Atop my rusty chariot *
* Lusting for your blood *
* Staplehead *
* From the blackest depths of night *
* Staplehead *
* From the dark into the light *
* Staplehead *
(music ends)
(inaudible singing)
(music resumes)
(singing falsetto): * Tonight we rise *
(electricity crackling)
(Gavin groans)
(crowd murmuring)
(switch clicks)
(crowd screaming)
(flames crackling)
* *
Mm, do you have another cigarette?
-Man: Here you go. -Aw, thanks, I appreciate that.
Man: No problem.
I've got three days on a deck job.
Manuel.
Jorge and your guys, Victor.
Eso...
-Tony. -Vamos, amigos!
Nah, I'm good. I'm good.
Okay, that's it.
Hey. Hey, Charlie, right?
Uh, yeah.
Uh, Victor said you're looking for work.
Oh well, thank you, Victor.
Uh, yes,
I'm, I'm desperately looking for work.
You have a car?
Uh, yeah. Just needs gas.
And can you count?
Uh, got 10 good fingers.
My band's going on the road, and we're looking
for someone to sell merch,
help out, you know, whatever needs doing.
The pay sucks, but you get to visit
the worst bars in America.
Well, shit.
You got yourself a merch girl.
Holy shit.
Uh, you're Ruby Ruin, right?
(singing) Staplehead!
(laughs)
Alright.
Let's see if Cleveland rocks!
(playing song intro)
So this tape line goes right here.
Not here and, and not here.
-So I, so I don't hunch. -Deuteronomy: Alright.
Al: I got a sciatica. I can't hunch.
* Merch girl *
* Nothing up her sleeve, yeah *
(lone person clapping)
-(feedback whines) -We suck.
Hey, aren't you the band
that does "Staplehead"?
Play "Staplehead."
Ruby: No, we're not playing "Staplehead."
(playing intro to "Staplehead")
* Up from the dust... *
-(stapler thuds) -Whoa!
-Charlie: Kid... -I'm just trying to get some more on my amp.
Dude, it's so badass!
Okay, okay. Just... Jesus, kid.
-Just wait-- -Hold still.
Gavin: It was so intense tonight.
It was just so metal.
It was just metal.
-Yes, it was very metal. -I thought it was metal, right?
It was very metal. It was...
super-duper metal.
-Yeah. -Okay, just turn to the light a little.
There you go.
You, you think she's mad at me, though.
Ruby? Uh, yeah.
On account of how she punched you in the face.
But also, who cares?
I mean, don't get me started on that "Merch Girl" song.
Slanderous.
I thought she was cool, man.
I'm starting to suspect she's actually a real dick.
I know. Ruby's... she's cool.
She's, she's alright.
Mm, mm...
But maybe, um, maybe tomorrow, I can,
I can catch a ride with, with you?
If that's okay?
-Okay. -Okay.
Charlie: Gav.
Gavin!
Jesus.
I admire the commitment to the craft,
but maybe not with the metal sticks, yeah?
I mean, Christ on a cracker.
Metal!
Oh, I get it. Oh... geez.
What, what's that thingy?
Oh, well,
I like to keep some eyes
underneath my kit at every show.
That way, I can go back...
...and watch my footwork.
Alright.
Check one of these out right here.
(singing) * Stalagmite! *
* Stalactite *
* Stalag-sight *
* You might stalag-me *
You, sir, are a magpie.
Magpie?
Mm-hmm.
Self-taught, huh?
No, Juilliard.
Oh.
Ugh. Alright, dude.
I don't want to be all Felix Unger or anything,
but, uh, this is my house, you know.
A little respect.
Why do you live in your car?
Wolves on my fender
so I gotta keep moving.
Some wolves, huh?
You going to be like this forever?
(sighs) Maybe.
I hadn't really thought about it that way, I--
Not fully until just now, actually.
So thanks for that fresh dose of existential dread.
(growling)
Oh, no, no. Toss it.
I do not consent to photos.
Well, it's not like I post them or anything.
It's just for, like, a mind-collage of my own.
Oh.
That was littering.
Yes, it was.
Gosh, you are just really dedicated
to not wearing shoes, huh?
If you're wearing shoes, you're just not grounded,
you know.
Life is a beat, Chuck.
You got to feel it.
Hey, look. See?
Ba-da-da-whoosh. Ba-da-da-whoosh.
-Right? -Ba-da-da-whoosh. Alright.
Look, see?
(drumming)
That's the bridge we went over.
You know? Little raindrops.
(Charlie chuckles)
Holistic magpie motherfucker.
Yeah. Sometimes I just, I feel this shit so hard.
Carries me through.
Makes the bad stuff just...
roll right off of me.
(dog barking in distance)
(siren wailing in distance)
Hi.
I owe you one for taking that little shitheel
off our hands for the day.
You know, that kid really took a hit for you, right?
God, I hope he didn't lose any precious brain cells.
You might give him a break.
Is all I'm sayin'.
He's a vibe-killer.
Can't read a room. It stresses me out.
He's just nervous.
He worships you.
I got to tell you, Ruby, I really thought
that being on tour with the band was going to be like,
you know, one big party, all fun and bonding,
like... Spinal Tap.
Pre-Jeanine.
Not this cliquey
gate-keepy high school bullshit.
Consider my eyes opened. (chuckles)
Hey!
Drummer boy.
Dude, I don't know what kind of voodoo,
whatever you did,
but thank you.
What voodoo did I do?
Well, I saw you talking to Ruby last night,
and now she's gonna let me do the scream.
The "Staplehead" scream.
I've been dreaming doing it since I was
a little dumb-as-fuck baby.
This is, this is fuckin' everything, man.
-Thank you. -Yeah, yeah...
Hey. So, um...
-Oh. Uh, uh... -You...
I'll, I'll get a good one for you.
I'm happy for you, you little scamp.
Alright, let's do some fuckin' metal.
* Atop my rusty chariot *
* Lusting for your blood *
* Staplehead *
* *
* Staplehead *
* Tonight we rise *
* Staplehead *
* Tonight we rise *
-* Staplehead * -Let 'em have it, kiddo.
* Tonight we rise *
* Staplehead *
Gavin: * Tonight we rise *
(electricity crackling)
(crowd murmuring)
I know it's been a tough night for you all.
We appreciate your patience.
The ME's ruling your drummer died by electrocution.
His amp wasn't grounded.
So when he touched the mic,
it was like kissing a lightning bolt.
Jesus.
Officer: It was an accident due to faulty equipment.
We're impounding the amp for insurance purposes,
but you can have the rest of your equipment back.
You all were on that stage, too.
It could have been a lot worse.
Wow.
Guess we just got lucky.
(sighs)
Charlie: Good idea.
(tap running)
What do you figure I can get for these on eBay?
Don't you fuckin' dare.
I can't stop smelling that smell.
We did what we did. Now we gotta move forward.
That song is gonna change our lives.
Let's keep it together.
Eskie: About that.
We should get a recording of the song,
at least a rough demo,
before we play it at the Krampus show.
We can use his rhythm track, but we all play the rest.
Really lock in our ownership.
Then let's do it right fuckin' now.
And where are we gonna find a recording studio
in Kenosha, Wisconsin, "right fucking now"?
Al: Two, three--
* It's a flash inside that calls you *
* From the street *
* Drink from the well so bittersweet *
* It's sugary sweet it's a fiery treat *
* It's time to eat my sucker punch *
Judas to the Priest. That song's pretty good.
Oh, uh, excuse me. Are you with this group?
Because I have this booth reserved
as of seven minutes ago.
Oh yeah. I think they're almost done.
"Murder Girl."
Nice.
Is your band, uh,
death metal or something?
It's my podcast. I solve murders.
Oh.
Nice work, if you can get it.
Charlie: (singing) * Enter the caverns *
* Of the past *
* Your first trip won't be your last *
* It's sugary sweet, a fiery treat *
* It's time to eat my sucker punch *
Damn, that is an earworm.
-(splat) -Whoa.
Oh geez. Come on.
Hey. Which one of you assholes
Shamrock-Shaked my car?
-Fan: Krampus slays! -What is this?
Oh my god. Just clean it.
-Oh, hi. Excuse me. Hi. Uh, hi. -Hello.
Do you know my friend Molly?
-I'm sorry, who? -Uh, Molly.
-You know, my ex. -Okay, n-n-nice try, narc.
I-I'm not a narc. I...
You're wearing pleated khakis, you know.
Just try harder. I believe in you.
-Fan: (chanting) Krampus! -Charlie: Uh, excuse me...
Charlie: Very good...
Ah, damn it, Gavin. Respect the domicile.
Geez, honey.
Fan: You're in Krampus land!
Oh, whoa.
Hold the phone.
* Step into the caverns of the past *
* Your first sip won't be your last *
* It's sugary sweet a fiery treat *
* It's time to eat my sucker punch *
Magpie.
Oh, great. Uh, I want to talk to you.
Drop the price of the shirts if you have to.
I don't wanna bring any of that shit home.
You know, it-it's about your new song.
-What about it? -Well, it's really good.
Which is how I know you guys didn't write it.
I got a soundcheck.
Okay, just look me in the eyes
and tell me that Gavin didn't write that song?
Gavin wrote that song.
Oh. Well, that's true.
But also not cool. He deserves credit.
And what do we deserve?
That song isn't going to bring Gavin back,
but it'll change our lives.
We recorded the song. We're playing it tonight.
Look, Charlie, I'm just trying to make something good
out of something bad.
Well, right, but,
but if it's Gavin's song, people should know that.
There are a thousand ifs.
If I hadn't given him the scream,
if our roadie hadn't quit and checked the amp,
if I had anything left in my garbage life
except one last shot.
This shot.
It is what it is, and I'm taking it.
I'm sorry about the kid,
truly.
Gotta go.
(sighs)
Something doesn't sit right, Gavin.
-Krampus! -(Charlie yells)
-(groans) -(crowd gasps)
-Shit. -Whoa!
Ooh! (laughing)
-Okay... -Krampus in the crapper!
Good shit, man. That dude's an asshole.
Deuteronomy.
Man: Yeah, merch girl!
Deuteronomy.
Nice right hook, merch girl.
I see you're moving up in the world, huh?
-Is that why you quit? -Deuteronomy: Quit?
I got canned on some bullshit.
Huh.
Well, you know, I knew that Ruby threw a lie in there.
I just couldn't track the, uh...
This business is built on relationships.
And amphetamines.
Can I ask you something? It's, uh, it's about the kid.
The thing that happened with his amp.
I mean, is that something that happens?
Yeah, it happens.
Yardbirds, '77.
Lead guitarist bit it using the same amp.
That's why they have a death capacitor.
A what?
Old amps used to have cords with two prongs
instead of three.
If you reverse the plug,
it's like sticking a fork in a socket.
A death capacitor keeps it safe.
-So Gavin didn't know that? -Of course, he did.
He had his amp converted to three-prong.
It was safe. I wouldn't have let him use it if it wasn't.
Here, let me show you what it looks like.
Okay, here's one on eBay. Identical.
Holy shit. Can I, can I see that?
Whoa, shit.
Al.
(strumming without amplification)
Al: * I'm gonna buy a new guitar *
* Neck inlaid with pearl *
* To pay my passage to the underworld *
* I'm gonna crawl up *
* From the afterbirth *
* And wander lonely *
* On this earth *
* Satan, cast your evil spell *
* Save a place for us in hell *
* You must learn we're all gonna burn *
* Because you can't un-murder someone *
* We electrocuted a lamb for the keys to the kingdom *
* Now it's time to burn *
Two, three, four.
If you're looking for Al, he's working on
a new song called "You Can't Un-murder Someone."
Sounds metal.
It sounds like a guilty conscience
unburdening itself for killing a drummer
via power ballad.
What?
That song
is basically a confession.
Uh, yeah. Okay. So you wanna arrest Bob Marley
for singing "I Shot the Sheriff"?
If he was also selling Gavin's amp on eBay,
like Al is, then yeah.
I know it sounds nuts, but I think
that Al switched it out for a booby-trapped amp
and killed Gavin.
Listen. I know you really liked the kid.
You're traumatized. We all are.
But reality now, equipment mix-ups happen.
Deuteronomy wasn't there to check it.
-Convenient, right? -Ruby: Jesus.
Al was on stage the whole time Gavin was.
You think he would have risked electrocuting himself?
Or Eskie or me?
Well that's true. Huh.
Huh?
One more show,
and this will all be in your rearview mirror.
Okay?
Chill out and keep it together.
Yeah?
-Al: What are you doing? -You put Gavin's amp on eBay?
It's vintage.
It's evidence. Right?
-I guess. -You guess?
I haven't taken Criminal Law yet.
Okay, Clarence Dumbass and Veggie McShithead.
Listen to me.
We are this close to nailing this thing.
Keep it the fuck together!
And do not confess to murder in a song!
What...?
It's probably okay as long as you don't sing it under oath.
This is what, ehh, I'm saying...
Charlie: Uh, hey, Deuteronomy.
Um, can I borrow your readers?
You know, I'm trying to see something on here, and I can't.
No. But how about the right tool for the job?
Oh, okay. Upgrade.
Huh? Okay.
So Al was being a real baby
about setting up his mic stand, right?
(scoffs) Yeah.
Said it was his hunchback or something.
I tried to teach him the Pilates
I learned from Jimmy Page
but no!
Okay. So look at this.
This is from the show when Gavin died.
Look at the tape.
Somehow in this show, on this one night,
he got taller.
Huh, I--
Well, so what? Maybe he wore different shoes?
I mean, why would a guy with a bad back
suddenly wear new shoes on stage?
Hmm.
Well, you can't see his shoes there though.
Oh.
Huh.
* *
(knocking)
Hey. I-I-I come in peace, I...
Ca-can I borrow that?
-(camera beeps) -Come on, now.
Show me some heavy-soled murder shoes.
Gotcha, you son of a bitch.
Whoa!
Holy Toledo.
Rest in metal. Seriously?
Jesus. What now?
You guys are sick with this bullshit tribute.
You killed him. All of you.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Me? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe, maybe I'm the highest bidder
on eBay for Gavin's real amp,
you know, the one you switched out to kill him.
Or maybe I'm the girl with the photographic proof
that you knew he was going to be electrocuted.
You're all wearing Docs with thick rubber soles
to insulate you from that electro shit
that you sent through Gavin.
You know, when you told the fire inspector
that you got "lucky," I knew it was a lie,
I just didn't put it together.
Y'all made your own luck, didn't you?
Eskie: You know, I may not have my degree,
but even I know that's not legal proof.
Gavin was the real deal, you know,
and he was a good guy,
and you killed him just for what?
For some stupid little song about sucker punching?
It's not just a song. It's a hit.
You know what, Ruby?
I knew that you were a has-been.
But it's worse than that.
Alright, you're a hack.
And maybe I won't get to see you in an orange jumpsuit,
but you'll be in that orange "Build Box" apron
for the rest of your sad little hacky life.
Security!
Gavin had talent, okay. He was metal.
He was real metal.
And you all, you're the opposite of metal.
Alright? You're talc.
You hear me? You're fuckin' talc!
She can't do shit.
We play the fuck out of that song tonight
and everything changes.
Yes?
Let's rock!
Hey, do you mind swinging past
just over here? Uh...
Thank you. Thanks. I just-- I got to grab my, my bag,
and then I promise to continue to throw myself out, so...
I better not see you again.
No, absolutely. I appreciate you.
You're doing good work. Efficient.
Man: Hi. Hey, guys.
Any of you know my friend Lucy?
You know Lucy in the Sky--
Man 2: Fuck off, narc.
Man: Okay. Just looking for some old-fashioned cocaine.
Hey, narc.
My name's Scott.
Charlie: And that's how Doxxxology
murdered their drummer Gavin,
I don't know his last name, for a song.
Yeah, uh, well, that's, uh, that's a, a lot.
Ah.
I got no proof.
It's a whole lot of nothing.
Just loose, connected dots. I'm sorry.
I don't know who I thought would take this seriously.
Y-y-you know what? I think it's good.
-You do? -Yeah.
I think you make a compelling case.
I mean, some of this is a stretch,
but you've shored up a lot of the circumstantial evidence.
I'm convinced.
You think it's enough to take to your boss?
Why would you want me to take it
to the VP of Finance at Nationwide?
Okay, wait. So you're not a cop?
No, I'm an actuary. Did you think I was a cop?
Yes, man. Yeah, I thought you were a narc.
Everyone's been calling me that.
I think I'm just really bad at buying drugs.
Yes, you are really bad at it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
everything you just said makes perfect sense.
Oh, and since you're already famous,
maybe you can get some local news attention.
Hmm? What do you mean I'm famous?
You don't know. Oh, your video.
It went viral.
-Krampus: Krampus! -(Charlie yells)
-(Krampus groans) -(crowd gasps)
When did that go up?
Uh, it says four hours ago. Why?
Man: Charlie Cale?
Hey, Cliff.
I didn't take you for a TikToker.
It's over, Charlie. You're coming with me.
Front seat or the trunk. Your choice.
Hey. You need something, brother?
What's up, Milwaukee?!
(crowd cheering)
I think it's time for something fresh.
* It's a flash inside *
* That calls you from the street *
* Drink from the well so bittersweet *
* You wrote your number on the back of my receipt *
* Before you cracked me with your *
* Sucker punch *
* Step into the caverns of the past *
* Your first sip won't be your last *
* It's sugary sweet, it's a fiery treat *
-* It's time to eat my * -Fuck you, Ruby.
* Sucker punch *
To the left.
Watch it, man.
(crowd cheering, applauding)
Oh fuck!
Ruby: Thank you!
(crowd cheering)
(Cliff groans)
(cheering and applause continues)
Changing: Ruby! Ruby! Ruby!
(laughter)
Eskie: I like shrimp cocktail for breakfast.
This is, I can get used to this.
My friends, in just three weeks,
you've conquered the world
To "Sucker Punch."
-To Doxxxology. -Al: Hey.
Man: A viral smash.
(glasses clinking)
We got to get caviar in the rider.
I want this on the tour bus.
Like, I can get used to this.
This is my new style.
(indistinct chatter)
Eskie: But I can keep this pen though, right?
-(door shuts) -Man: Hold up.
Wait.
No.
What the fuck, man?
We have a big problem.
Yeah. So this "Sucker Punch" song
came out of nowhere, and it's everywhere now.
But did it come out of nowhere? It did not.
Shout out to some of our older viewers for helping us
connect the dots on this one.
("Benson" theme song playing)
("Sucker Punch" playing with same melody)
("Benson" theme song playing)
You ripped off the theme song to "Benson"
and didn't think nobody would notice?
-I didn't realize it. -Eskie: It's,
it's, it's fair use homage.
It's copyright infringement that was about to become fraud.
And it is the least of your problems.
(podcast music playing)
Murder Girl: You may know the heavy metal band Doxxxology
for their '90s hit song "Staplehead."
And for their incredible comeback hit "Sucker Punch."
Their story sounds like a rock-and-roll fantasy.
A band of has-beens who get their second shot at fame.
But what if I told you that's not the whole story?
Would you kill for a second shot at fame?
Commit murder for one hit song.
Welcome to season seven of "Murder Girl:
Rest in Metal."
Ba-da-da-whoosh.
We got her.
Wow, something to look forward to.
I'm in some deep shit.
Charlie: What went wrong?
She killed both of them.
She was lying. I could tell.
(screams)
You thinking what I'm thinking?
We have to kill that mother--
* *
Tell me where you are.
Charlie: I can't be the only one
getting bad mojo around here.
Sterling Sr.: There's not a corner in this country
small enough for you to hide in.
And I'm gonna hit you where it hurts.
Now, tell me, kid...
am I lying?
* *
Man: Watch your back, Charlie.
Look out!
That was intense.
I felt like I was in "Wolf of Wall Street" all of a sudden
and not the fun parts.