1
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,265
[gasps] What are you doing here, Carlos?
2
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:18,977
I'm here to take you. All of you, Joanna.
3
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,562
You've got to get out of here.
4
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:23,106
My husband, the mayor,
will be here any second.
5
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:26,318
I don't care if I lose my job
on the railroad project.
6
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:30,405
I can't get last night out of my mind,
or the taste of you out of my mouth.
7
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:34,576
You think I don't want this too?
I ache for your manhood.
8
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,578
Then lose the dress.
9
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,331
I wanna see the curve
of your breast in the moonlight...
10
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:42,376
[inhales sharply] ...and feel the heat
of your body against mine.
11
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,629
Don't you fucking fall in love with me!
12
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,048
[whispers] Too late.
13
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,427
[normal voice] And that's the scene.
14
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,180
- Oh, my God, that was so good!
- Mmm. Thank you.
15
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,433
[inhales deeply] I mean, the writing? Wow.
16
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:01,937
But more importantly, you are incredible.
17
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:06,066
I really believed you were a former gigolo
who got into city planning.
18
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,734
The part is just so complex, right?
19
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,237
I-- Every time I read the script,
I have more questions.
20
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,656
- Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
- That's gotta be a good sign, right?
21
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,117
I cannot wait to see you in this play.
22
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,994
I mean,
I have invited everyone in my life.
23
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,955
My gym friends, my yoga frenemies,
my lesbian dentist,
24
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:22,082
my stalkers and the people I'm stalking.
25
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,667
Oh, that is so great.
26
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,711
And what about your family?
Are your parents coming?
27
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,213
Um, no. They're way out in Indiana.
28
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,382
It's probably... [inhales sharply]
...way too big of a hassle.
29
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,260
But that does remind me,
I should probably invite my sugar daddy.
30
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,513
[inhales deeply] I wonder if the theater
is wheelchair-accessible.
31
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:40,017
Ooh, can we do the next scene?
It is so good.
32
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:44,313
Yes. You're topless, I'm bottomless,
and we're in an abandoned train yard.
33
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:47,107
- Feel free to slap me for real. [chuckles]
- Oh, I will.
34
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:53,488
Carlos! I have news.
35
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,823
I'm pregnant.
36
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,702
- And it's your twin brother's baby!
- No!
37
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,454
[hip-hop song playing]
38
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:44,748
[song ends]
39
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,334
Okay, Howard, why don't you update us
40
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,461
on the broadband cost
at the Space for Everyone property?
41
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,129
Absolutely.
42
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:52,881
[stammers] Happy to.
43
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:54,967
[sighs]
44
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,181
What is this?
45
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,516
Oh, well, full disclosure,
46
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,768
- it's not quite finished.
- [scoffs] It's not done at all.
47
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,645
You didn't even
finish the word "presentation."
48
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:10,274
Oh. [stammers] Well, I was about to type
the N, and then the meeting was starting,
49
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:11,775
and you told us to never be late.
50
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,111
So in many ways, this is your fault.
51
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,238
Howard, you need to take this seriously.
52
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,824
Space for Everyone is a huge project.
53
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:22,452
We all need to be at the top of our games.
This needs to get done.
54
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,453
Yes, ma'am.
55
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:28,000
[cell phones buzzing, chiming]
56
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:34,631
[giggles]
57
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,092
[Howard inhales sharply]
58
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:40,220
Sofia... [stammers]
...what notification did you just get?
59
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,682
It's a news alert. It's about a typhoon
that's about to hit Burma.
60
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,643
You fist-pumped a typhoon
about to hit Burma?
61
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,688
Yes,
in solidarity with the Burmese people.
62
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,398
Hmm.
63
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,242
Hey, hey. We have got to talk.
Something very intriguing is happening.
64
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,119
I think Sofia is a Swiftie.
65
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:07,247
- [gasps] Oh, my God.
- Oh, I actually know what that is.
66
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,999
My daughter is a huge Taylor Swift fan.
67
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:13,921
I gotta say, I like all those songs
about not letting the haters get you down.
68
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,506
[groans] It's actually more frustrating
69
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,466
when you know a little bit about
something instead of your typical nothing.
70
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:21,512
Okay. So why do you think she's a Swiftie?
71
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:24,014
Well, that notification Ainsley
and I got earlier
72
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,934
was a Taylor Swift verified-fan
presale code.
73
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,978
And Sofia's phone dinged
at the exact same time.
74
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:34,566
Then suddenly she sends us a email saying
we have July 12th off out of nowhere.
75
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:38,570
Which is the exact date Taylor Swift
is playing at SoFi Stadium.
76
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,948
Sofia's going to that concert.
77
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:45,494
Okay, that's pretty good evidence,
but what's the big deal?
78
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:48,413
- So she likes Taylor Swift?
- Exactly. Why would she lie about it?
79
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,999
I mean,
what type of game is she playing here?
80
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,627
I mean, Sofia's a very private person.
81
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,587
Shouldn't you just
be working on your presentation?
82
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,798
Oh, she would love that...
83
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:01,385
wouldn't she?
84
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,305
[chuckles]
85
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,185
How about we kill him
with this dagger I'm holding
86
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:13,021
and then fuck for the rest of our lives?
87
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,777
Knock, knock.
Where is my genius future-EGOT?
88
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,697
Oh, my God. [chuckles]
Thank you so much. These are beautiful.
89
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,824
They're bigger than my entire apartment.
90
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,659
There's somebody else here too.
91
00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:28,745
- What?
- Your parents!
92
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:29,997
Surprise!
93
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:33,876
Oh, my God. [chuckles] Mom. Dad.
94
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:38,005
I called them right after we talked
and offered to send the jet for them,
95
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,923
and then they refused
and said they'd drive here.
96
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,425
All the way from Indiana?
97
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:47,097
No, yeah. We took the I-70 to the I-44,
then the I-40 to the I-15 to the I-10.
98
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,682
From there it's basically a straight shot.
99
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,725
Hmm.
100
00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:51,810
They sure don't give you
much room back here.
101
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,730
Yeah, well, Mom, it's just a small play.
102
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:56,940
Well, your parents are staying
for a couple days.
103
00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:01,111
I offered my house, but they said
they wanted to stay in a hotel in...
104
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,070
Panorama City.
105
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:07,868
From here you just take I-101 to the I-170
and then exit at Roscoe Boulevard West.
106
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,578
Pretty much a straight shot after that.
107
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:15,042
[inhales deeply] Ah.
108
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,212
We're gonna go to our seats, honey.
109
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,880
Yeah. See you after.
110
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,511
[inhales sharply]
I know it was a crazy swing,
111
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:28,639
but I'm just so proud of you.
You're so good.
112
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,308
Molly, my parents are super conservative.
113
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,976
This play is not their thing.
114
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,437
There are only, like,
three scenes that aren't sex scenes.
115
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,147
Well, who cares if it's their thing?
116
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,316
It's your thing,
and that's all that should matter.
117
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:45,030
- Yeah, okay, I-- I need to run lines.
- Of course. Oh, my gosh.
118
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,658
[inhales sharply] Don't let me get
in the way of your process. [kisses]
119
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:50,077
- [kisses]
- Be brilliant. [chuckles]
120
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,455
Oh, are you in the play too?
Oh, you're doing costumes. All right.
121
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,503
[actor 1] What did you say to me,
you limp-dicked cocksucker?
122
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,883
Oh, you better watch your step, asshole,
or one day someone will take you out
123
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,885
to Vengeance Falls.
124
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,720
[whispers] That's the name of the play.
125
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,267
[actor 1 gasps]
What are you doing here, Carlos?
126
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,686
- I'm here to take you.
- [gasps]
127
00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:16,979
All of you, Joanna.
128
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,441
Take you into town
to get an ice-cream cone.
129
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,403
[Joanna stammers]
You've gotta get out of here.
130
00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:27,739
My husband, the mayor,
will be here any second.
131
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:31,535
I don't care if I get fired
from the railroad project.
132
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,453
I can't get you out of my mind.
133
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:37,291
You and me, watching
Everybody Loves Raymond on your couch.
134
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,168
And then I went home, alone.
135
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,003
[whispering] What are you doing?
Those aren't the lines.
136
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,296
[Nicholas] Let me look at you.
137
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:48,510
Let me see the-- the curve of your
heaving smile in the moonlight,
138
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:52,848
and-and feel the heat of
that smile from-from over here.
139
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,476
Don't you fucking fall in love with me!
140
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,354
You sh-shouldn't swear so much.
141
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,192
[exhales shakily] Oh, God.
142
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:07,029
[scattered applause]
143
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,415
More plates?
144
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:22,419
David Chang is serving
elevated Indiana cuisine
145
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:27,674
because you are elevated
"Indianianianianans."
146
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:31,595
So what we have here is
a deconstructed tuna casserole.
147
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:32,971
Deconstructed?
148
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,892
So, uh, you took it apart
and now I have to put it back together?
149
00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:39,436
And another F-minus, David Chang.
Congrats.
150
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,813
Go get us some Applebee's curbside
or something.
151
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,108
That play, Nicholas.
152
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,154
I mean, oh, my God, what a tour de force.
153
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:53,158
And Carlos Wu is such a layered character.
154
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,868
I think you just nailed it.
155
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,079
Oh, was that the character's name?
156
00:08:57,079 --> 00:09:00,374
[inhales sharply] We got
a great parking spot right out front,
157
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,460
uh, probably 20, 25 feet from the door.
158
00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:08,215
Speaking of parking, a lot of people
have been going to the Krogers lately.
159
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:11,760
- [smacks lips] Oh, really?
- They're doing free samples again.
160
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,887
[chuckles] We got some sausage there
the other day.
161
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,599
You know who I saw there? Susan Reed.
162
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,894
You went to middle school
with her niece Kayla.
163
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,397
What was Kayla's last name?
164
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,440
Honey, what was Kayla's last name?
165
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,068
- Reed. [sighs]
- Oh, that's right. Same as her aunt.
166
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,444
That makes sense.
167
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,489
Uh, Nicholas,
168
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:36,451
have you told your parents
about your callback for your commercial?
169
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:39,246
Yeah, no, I-- I didn't mention it to them.
170
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,206
- [Molly] What?
- It's not a big deal, you know?
171
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,876
[inhales sharply]
Even though it was national or whatever.
172
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:47,004
Did I tell you we got a new tractor?
173
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:50,632
[chuckles]
Oh, she's a beaut. Purrs like a kitten.
174
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,010
You know who can till
the Hades out of some soil?
175
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:55,179
- Nicholas.
- Yeah, of course I was good at tilling.
176
00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:56,555
I'm good at everything.
177
00:09:56,555 --> 00:10:00,309
Little Nicky. He was put on
God's green earth to farm.
178
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,937
Anytime you wanna try out the new tractor,
I could always use another set of hands.
179
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,022
No, it's not gonna happen.
180
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:09,401
Okay, every time we talk, we have
the same conversation. I'm done tilling.
181
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,403
I'm never coming back. Okay? Ever.
182
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,239
[sighs]
183
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,665
Kayla's back at the bank now.
184
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:25,834
Okay, you know what?
I think my parents are tired.
185
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,754
It's been a long day. I should probably
get them back to the hotel.
186
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,255
Yeah. [clears throat]
187
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,801
- Thank you so much.
- Of course. Anytime.
188
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:38,138
Oh, and by the way, I couldn't figure out
how to flush your toilet.
189
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,060
Okay.
190
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,905
[stammers] Do you need something, Howard?
191
00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:57,282
No, I just wanted to apologize
about the other day.
192
00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:01,370
See, I feel terrible about it,
and I'm really hoping we can both just
193
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:02,913
shake it off.
194
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,165
Okay, sure.
195
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,625
Good.
196
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:11,129
'Cause I don't want there
to be any bad blood between us, baby.
197
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,715
Have you started your presentation yet?
198
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:16,802
I know you're a Taylor Swift fan,
199
00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,221
I know you're going
to that concert July 12th,
200
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:22,015
and now all I need to know
is why you're hiding it.
201
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,059
What?
Is this why you've been acting so weird?
202
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,061
Oh, I'm the one who's been acting weird?
203
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:29,606
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't listen to Taylor Swift.
204
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,734
I listen to podcasts
about systemic racism and urban decay.
205
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:36,071
No, see, it's okay. I'm a Swiftie too.
We can put on Red
206
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,490
and see how many songs
we can make it through without crying.
207
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,033
My record is two and a quarter.
208
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,494
Howard, enough of this.
You need to get back to work.
209
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,204
And you need to calm down.
210
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,290
I know you didn't just tell
a woman to calm down.
211
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,333
No, you--
"You Need To Calm Down" is a Swift song.
212
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,794
I'm still doing the song title thing.
I th-- I thought you knew that.
213
00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:54,047
Uh, I'm still my sweet self.
[stammers] Your hair looks lovely.
214
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,924
- Thank you. Get back to work.
- Yes, ma'am.
215
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,559
[Molly] Mmm.
216
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,352
[Nicholas sighs]
217
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:13,692
Hey. I'm sorry about last night.
I know things got a little awkward.
218
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,611
Hmm. Uh, we don't have to talk about it.
219
00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:17,738
Well, yes, but we could.
220
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:20,782
I mean, I'm here for you
if you'd like to unpack it with me.
221
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:23,368
[clicks tongue] Okay, um,
222
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,787
let's unpack the fact that you
invited my parents out here
223
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:29,291
to see an extremely sexual play
without asking me.
224
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,460
I thought it would be a nice surprise.
225
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:35,255
You've always told me that you have
a good relationship with your parents.
226
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,173
We do.
227
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:39,176
My parents and I are fine, as long as
we stick to safe topics like Krogers,
228
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,802
Kayla, who has cancer.
229
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,555
They do not want me to be an actor, okay?
230
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,307
I've tried to explain myself
to them many times,
231
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,477
and it's not worth it, so I just stopped.
232
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:52,356
Well, I'm sorry, Nicholas,
but I don't think that's very healthy.
233
00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:53,774
Healthy. What is healthy?
234
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,567
Okay, I-- I train like an Avenger,
235
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:59,154
but I'm functionally addicted to ketamine,
so the word "healthy" is meaningless.
236
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,908
Look, one thing I've learned on my SJ,
spiritual journey,
237
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:09,456
is that you have to open yourself up
to difficult emotions. With your parents.
238
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,999
It's the only way you'll grow.
239
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:16,797
It's not easy, but if you get up every day
and put the work into it like I do,
240
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,716
- you'll see some benefits.
- [snorts] Okay.
241
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,010
What was that snort?
242
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,011
Ugh.
243
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,849
Are you literally gonna stand there
and lecture me about putting in the work
244
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:30,727
when any of the work you've ever done
is actually being done by 25 other people,
245
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:34,064
- including me?
- What? That is not true.
246
00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,524
When was the last time you were alone?
247
00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:37,985
When I went to the bathroom, an hour ago.
248
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,654
Oh, wait, that's not true.
Marisol was there to dry my hands.
249
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:43,407
Exactly. Why can't you just admit
that if we left you alone,
250
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:45,075
you would fall apart within minutes?
251
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:47,077
[scoffs] That is ridiculous.
252
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:48,996
I don't need any help.
253
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:52,082
In fact, why don't you take
the rest of the day off?
254
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,751
I'll ask the entire house staff
to take the day off too.
255
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,003
And the kitchen staff
256
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,796
and the aquarium staff.
257
00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:01,425
- Oh-- Okay, you're really gonna do that?
- I'm really gonna do that.
258
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:06,471
- Okay.
- Okay.
259
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,514
Okay.
260
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,057
- Great.
- Nice.
261
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,726
- Wonderful.
- Hang ten.
262
00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,019
Very cool.
263
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,354
- [as Borat] Very nice!
- [as Austin Powers] Yeah, baby!
264
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,399
[normal voice] Okay, I'm gonna go.
265
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,530
Okay, let's get started.
266
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,574
Howard, the broadband presentation please.
267
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:26,825
Absolutely.
268
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,128
- Oh, no.
- You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
269
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:42,883
What you are seeing before you
are the five personal days Sofia Salinas
270
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:46,470
has taken off in the eight years
she's worked here.
271
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,347
As you can see,
272
00:14:48,347 --> 00:14:54,520
every one of her absences lines up
exactly with a Tay-specific event.
273
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,647
August 29, 2015,
274
00:14:56,647 --> 00:15:00,108
the same day Taylor
plays Petco Park in San Diego.
275
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:05,781
We see Sofia is both absent
on August 18th and 19th of 2017,
276
00:15:05,781 --> 00:15:08,909
a time known in our community
as the "Great Panic,"
277
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,496
when Taylor wiped
her entire social media presence clean
278
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,081
to prepare for a new beginning.
279
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,750
Enough. Why are you doing this?
280
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,710
To help you be true to yourself.
281
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:22,798
I know you gave us July 12th off
because you are going to that concert.
282
00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:24,716
Thank you. I have no further questions.
283
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:27,386
Do you wanna know
what I'm doing on July 12th? [sighs]
284
00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:28,387
Hmm.
285
00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:31,098
My great-aunt Lucia
is having heart surgery.
286
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:33,141
She is wonderful, mi tía.
287
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,769
She helped raise me,
so I'm going to New Jersey to be with her.
288
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:39,398
I didn't want to talk about it because it
is a little upsetting. [inhales sharply]
289
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:40,649
But that is the truth.
290
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,067
Sorry to hear that, Sofia.
291
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,861
- Yeah, me too.
- [Sofia sighs]
292
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:46,905
[speaking Spanish]
293
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,283
[in English] Oh. Okay.
294
00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:50,784
Gracias, Ainsley.
295
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,787
Howard, is there any chance you did
the real presentation?
296
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:58,375
Honestly, I saw that all
going very differently, so no.
297
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,386
Everyone, I have an announcement to make.
298
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,430
I'm giving you all the night off.
299
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,017
- Is everything okay?
- Yes, everything is fine.
300
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:17,477
I just feel like flying solo tonight.
301
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:22,024
So, everyone, go home, live your lives.
302
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:27,112
Friends, family,
go to a burger restaurant.
303
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,238
Enjoy.
304
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:30,324
Ms. Molly, is it the Russians?
305
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:32,534
Are they making you be alone
so they can kidnap you?
306
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,995
No. No, Marisol. It is not the Russians.
307
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,163
If it were the Russians,
308
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,583
I would say our secret security word,
which I can't remember.
309
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,210
Pineapple.
310
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,630
- No, but it is something that you eat.
- It's "saxophone."
311
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:47,257
Great. Well, then, thank you.
312
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,301
And now, everybody, scram.
313
00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:52,554
- [sighs]
- Beat it. Go. Go on. Go home.
314
00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:56,391
[chuckles] You rascals. Aw, you guys.
315
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:03,565
[clicks tongue, inhales deeply]
Okay, let's see here.
316
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:07,402
[gasps]
317
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,155
Fuck, yeah.
318
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,117
Night mode activated.
319
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,501
Fuck, yeah.
320
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:31,677
Fuck, yeah.
321
00:17:33,512 --> 00:17:35,347
[vacuum whirring]
322
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,978
[singsongy] Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah.
Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah.
323
00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:42,271
Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah.
324
00:17:42,271 --> 00:17:43,480
[microwave beeps]
325
00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:54,533
Mmm.
326
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:56,493
Fuck, yeah.
327
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,581
[doorbell rings]
328
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:09,339
- Howard, what are you doing here?
- [stammers] I just came to apologize.
329
00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:16,430
Uh, I felt so bad about making you
bring up that stuff about your aunt,
330
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:19,850
so I stayed at work late
to finish the presentation.
331
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:23,812
Oh, all right. Well,
I appreciate you finally finishing it.
332
00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:26,148
And I wanted to get you
an Edible Arrangement,
333
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:30,360
but they couldn't finish it in time.
So, I tried to make you one myself.
334
00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:33,989
Thank you.
335
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,325
I was wrong for calling you a Swiftie.
336
00:18:36,325 --> 00:18:39,077
I just got excited about us
maybe having something in common.
337
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,623
I've worked with you for a while now,
and I still feel like I barely know you.
338
00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:43,665
[sighs]
339
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:47,044
And I just thought it would be cool
for us to like the same thing, 'cause...
340
00:18:47,044 --> 00:18:50,172
[stammers]
...girl, you know I look up to you.
341
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:54,676
But I took it way too far. I'm sorry.
342
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:58,347
Apology accepted.
343
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,767
I'll go put this in the fridge
and throw it away tomorrow.
344
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,477
That's a good idea.
345
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,856
There's actually some bubble gum
in the bottom if you want a prize.
346
00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:11,443
Hmm.
347
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,552
We did it, Mary-Kate and Ashley.
348
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,014
[fire alarm chirps]
349
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:45,811
What the hell?
350
00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:47,855
[chirps]
351
00:19:48,397 --> 00:19:49,231
Huh.
352
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,151
[chirps]
353
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,029
Be right back. Stay there.
354
00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:04,288
[chirps]
355
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,128
[chirps]
356
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,112
[mutters, strains, grunts]
357
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,655
Fuck, no.
358
00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:42,117
- [exhales sharply, shouts]
- [chirps]
359
00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:51,210
{\an8}- Care to explain this?
- Explain what?
360
00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:53,670
Why you have
the collectible green vinyl pressing
361
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,632
of Taylor Swift's Evermore
hidden in a Marvin Gaye jacket?
362
00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:58,842
That is not mine.
I'm holding it for a friend.
363
00:20:58,842 --> 00:20:59,927
Her name is Dakota.
364
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,388
- She is white.
- Oh, it's white Dakota's Evermore?
365
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,267
Well, then you won't mind if I start going
through these Kendrick Lamar records...
366
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,311
- Oh, okay. All right.
- ...and see what's really going on.
367
00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:12,648
You know what?
You're right. [stammers] I'm a Swiftie.
368
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,527
I knew it. I knew we could smell our own.
369
00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:18,320
But what about your great-aunt Lucia?
370
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,864
Oh, Howard. Don't be so naive.
No one has a great-aunt.
371
00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:23,492
They only exist when you're trying
to get out of work or a term paper.
372
00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:24,660
But why would you lie?
373
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:28,038
I mean, there is nothing to be ashamed
of loving the most visionary lyricist
374
00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:30,541
- of our generation.
- Oh, that is easy for you to say.
375
00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:31,834
But people would judge me.
376
00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:35,712
I am a 32-year-old Afro-Latina trying
to be taken seriously.
377
00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:38,006
People are always looking
to question my authority.
378
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:40,926
I wish it wasn't true,
but you and I both know that is the truth.
379
00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:43,053
I never really thought of it like that.
380
00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:44,596
I mean, do you think I like hiding these?
381
00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:48,183
Do you think I like creating
a fake end-of-the-year playlist
382
00:21:48,684 --> 00:21:49,935
and slapping jazz on it?
383
00:21:49,935 --> 00:21:52,479
You don't have to do that anymore,
because now I know.
384
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,439
And you know I'll never tell anybody.
385
00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:56,233
I promise. I Swiftie swear.
386
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,151
Is that a real thing?
387
00:21:58,944 --> 00:21:59,945
It is now.
388
00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,239
Hmm.
389
00:22:02,239 --> 00:22:06,869
[chuckles] You know, since I'm here,
maybe you wanna put on Midnights,
390
00:22:06,869 --> 00:22:08,829
- and we can discuss the "Karma" theory.
- Oh, my God.
391
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:10,497
Please don't get me started
on that goddamn clock.
392
00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:12,541
- [chuckles]
- Uh, okay, Midnights.
393
00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:14,209
Ah, that will be in the Coltrane section.
394
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:16,336
Oh, no, you didn't. No, you didn't.
[chuckles]
395
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,672
- Mm-hmm. Yes, I did.
- Girl, you are wild.
396
00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:20,674
["Don't Sweat the Technique" playing]
397
00:22:25,179 --> 00:22:27,556
[grunting]
398
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,563
- [chirps]
- [groans]
399
00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:41,653
- [chirps]
- [groans]
400
00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:48,577
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ye--
401
00:22:49,745 --> 00:22:51,872
You suck!
402
00:22:51,872 --> 00:22:54,082
[groans]
403
00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:00,255
[music stops]
404
00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:01,340
[chirps]
405
00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:10,933
[swallows, exhales deeply]
406
00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:20,234
[music continues]
407
00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:23,028
[laughs]
408
00:23:23,987 --> 00:23:26,365
- [chirps]
- [groans]
409
00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:27,991
Stop beeping.
410
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:30,077
Why?
411
00:23:31,245 --> 00:23:34,122
[cries] Please stop beeping.
412
00:23:35,290 --> 00:23:37,417
- [chirps]
- [groans]
413
00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:50,597
- [chirps]
- [groans]
414
00:23:58,897 --> 00:24:03,485
- [chirps]
- [shouting] What the fuck?
415
00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:20,752
[music stops]
416
00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:26,216
[chuckles] I beat you!
417
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:29,428
I beat you, smoke detector!
418
00:24:29,428 --> 00:24:32,264
[door creaks]
419
00:24:32,264 --> 00:24:34,266
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
420
00:24:35,851 --> 00:24:36,852
[breathing heavily]
421
00:24:39,354 --> 00:24:41,148
"Enter code to access door."
422
00:24:41,148 --> 00:24:44,610
I don't know the code.
I don't know the code!
423
00:24:44,610 --> 00:24:47,738
I don't know the code. [whimpers]
424
00:24:47,738 --> 00:24:48,822
[chirps]
425
00:24:48,822 --> 00:24:50,866
[music continues]
426
00:24:53,076 --> 00:24:57,164
- [chirps]
- You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
427
00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:10,469
[Nicholas]
Molly... [stammers] ... are you okay?
428
00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:14,264
Nicholas, is that you?
429
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:16,683
[Nicholas sighs] Yeah, I'm right outside.
I-- I get an alert
430
00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:21,104
whenever the panic room locks.
I-- I thought you might need me.
431
00:25:23,065 --> 00:25:28,195
I'm so embarrassed.
I can't do anything by myself.
432
00:25:28,195 --> 00:25:29,947
Hey, that is not true.
433
00:25:29,947 --> 00:25:32,616
You completely destroyed the kitchen
by yourself.
434
00:25:32,616 --> 00:25:36,370
[sighs] I'm such a mess.
435
00:25:36,370 --> 00:25:38,997
Well, at least you're trying.
436
00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:41,291
Can you imagine
if you were a sane, well-adjusted person?
437
00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:42,459
You'd be so boring.
438
00:25:43,043 --> 00:25:45,671
"Uh, my name's Julia Miller
439
00:25:45,671 --> 00:25:48,507
and I'm gonna eat a salad
with dressing on the side
440
00:25:48,507 --> 00:25:50,259
and then go to the gym."
441
00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,178
"And I'm gonna go home
442
00:25:53,178 --> 00:25:56,181
and see my tall husband
and my twins, Audrey and Michael."
443
00:25:56,181 --> 00:26:00,060
- Ugh, fuck that. Fuck Julia Miller!
- Fuck Julia Miller.
444
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:03,355
I would quit on the spot.
You are so much more fun.
445
00:26:03,355 --> 00:26:06,149
- [keypad beeping]
- [door opens]
446
00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:09,319
[gasps, whimpers] Oh. [inhales sharply]
447
00:26:10,863 --> 00:26:12,406
I never wanna fight again.
448
00:26:12,406 --> 00:26:14,491
Hey. We never will.
449
00:26:17,536 --> 00:26:21,248
I'm sorry I tried to give you advice
about your parents.
450
00:26:21,248 --> 00:26:23,417
God. What the hell do I know?
451
00:26:23,417 --> 00:26:26,837
It's not like you were wrong.
I mean, you saw us.
452
00:26:27,671 --> 00:26:30,048
We are not good about talking
about our feelings.
453
00:26:30,048 --> 00:26:33,010
They're very Midwestern,
and I'm Midwestern and Asian,
454
00:26:33,010 --> 00:26:35,679
which basically means
it's like a repression Olympics.
455
00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:36,763
[chuckles]
456
00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:39,099
I'm so sorry.
457
00:26:40,309 --> 00:26:42,644
It's just, I like to pretend
that I don't care
458
00:26:42,644 --> 00:26:44,938
what they think about me,
but... [inhales shakily]
459
00:26:44,938 --> 00:26:46,857
- ...sometimes I-- I d--
- [Molly clicks tongue]
460
00:26:49,151 --> 00:26:50,819
[Molly] I'm done giving advice.
461
00:26:50,819 --> 00:26:56,116
[sniffles] But just know,
I'm here for you no matter what.
462
00:26:58,118 --> 00:26:58,952
Thank you.
463
00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:01,997
I'd love to keep hugging,
464
00:27:01,997 --> 00:27:04,458
but I really have to go to the bathroom.
465
00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:07,211
There's so much wine in the panic room
and nowhere to pee.
466
00:27:07,211 --> 00:27:08,420
Oh.
467
00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:10,672
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
468
00:27:12,758 --> 00:27:13,926
Do you remember where it is?
469
00:27:13,926 --> 00:27:15,886
Is it this way?
470
00:27:15,886 --> 00:27:16,970
No.
471
00:27:29,107 --> 00:27:30,400
[breathes sharply]
472
00:27:36,949 --> 00:27:38,951
Hey, Dad. Uh, listen.
473
00:27:38,951 --> 00:27:41,036
I know you and Mom are leaving tomorrow,
474
00:27:41,036 --> 00:27:45,666
but I feel like we didn't get enough time
to talk while you were here.
475
00:27:45,666 --> 00:27:48,418
So I was sort of hoping
I could take you guys out to dinner.
476
00:27:49,878 --> 00:27:50,879
Sure.
477
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:52,714
Great.
478
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:56,051
Uh, I actually really wanted to tell you
about this commercial that I booked.
479
00:27:56,051 --> 00:27:58,929
It's for Lipitor.
I play a supportive waiter.
480
00:28:00,889 --> 00:28:06,520
Oh. I-- I've heard of Lipitor.
Your uncle Terry is on Lipitor.
481
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,189
Margs. Uh, is Terry on Lipitor?
482
00:28:09,189 --> 00:28:10,732
Oh, he's on everything.
483
00:28:11,525 --> 00:28:13,527
Hey, Nicholas wants to take us to dinner.
484
00:28:14,319 --> 00:28:15,737
- Works for me.
- [chuckles]
485
00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:20,868
[stammers] You know, I actually passed
a pretty great-looking diner
486
00:28:20,868 --> 00:28:22,202
on the way over here.
487
00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:25,038
[stammers] You just go up Victory,
a right on Moorpark,
488
00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:27,040
and then basically a straight shot.
489
00:28:31,712 --> 00:28:34,464
["Harder Than You Think" playing]