Coming out!
What the hell?
Don't hurt 'em, Miss Liz.
Thank you!
-The AC guy call back yet? -Nope.
Unbelievable. One more hour and I try to fix it myself.
Holy fucking shit!
Come on, people. Energy up!
Rib cage! Shoulders down, everyone!
Hello?
This is she.
Are you serious?
Yes!
Over 150 local organizations were shocked this morning
when they received generous financial gifts from billionaire Molly Wells.
Wells is using her immense wealth
to fund Southern California outreach programs.
The gifts were unsolicited and caught the recipients by surprise.
This money is going to improve the lives of so many LGBTQ youth.
I can't believe this happened to us.
I'm so thankful!
The former wife of CEO John Novak said in a statement
that this morning's activity is just a start,
and more financial help is on the way.
Quite a nice day for these deserving folks.
Wow.
Congratulations, you guys. Molly, I gotta hand it to you.
These surprise donations were a genius idea.
Thanks.
It's a new feeling to be watching myself on TV for something positive.
I am so proud of us, guys. Cheers, everyone!
In other news, 18 severed feet were found in a basement in Ohio…
No, no, no. Don't cheers to that. Cheers to the thing before.
Oh, my God. Molly. Molly. Mol-- This is huge.
I've got some good news, and I've got some bad news.
The good news is we got invited to a super fancy party.
-Well, what's the bad news? -Everyone here got invited too.
I'm being recognized for something the "Philanthropic Humanitarian Awards"?
The Mannies? For real?
Yeah. It says I'm receiving the "Marjorie Pendleton Foster Award."
Who's that?
She was a famous philanthropist.
She used her family's oil fortune to build a lot of orphanages.
Before throwing herself in front of a train.
Who cares about any of that?
It's a black-tie affair at a fancy hotel.
I mean, we're back.
Wow. The celebration is catered.
A vegetarian option. Well, that's considerate of them.
It says they have lobster and prime rib.
I mean, I love surfboard turf.
You know, I've been to plenty of award ceremonies,
but it was always because John was winning something.
I mean, I'm happy for you.
But should we be going to the Mannies though?
What? Why are you like this? Why?
I mean, it's kind of messed up
to watch a bunch of billionaires give each other golden statues.
But we've been working really hard.
And who doesn't like a free prime rib?
Then it's settled.
We're dressing up. We're eating lobster.
We are going to a fancy party
to celebrate putting this shitty year behind me!
-Okay, but let's remember that-- -No! You will not ruin this for me.
Okay. It's okay. We're going. It's okay, baby. It's okay.
Go, go.
I know. We're going.
It's okay. It's okay. I know.
You really think I can pull this off?
I have never been more sure of anything in my life.
Okay. I'm coming out.
Oh, my God. This is everything.
You are a phoenix rising out of the ashes.
You look so beautiful in this,
you are this close to penetrating my gay seal.
It does feel good, you know,
being recognized for something other than just being divorced.
Yeah. And you deserve it.
-How's the speech coming along? -Great.
"As many of you know, I've been through a lot this year.
And in that journey, I have found a way to mend.
Philanthropy is, at its core, all about healing others.
But it's also about healing myself."
Oh, my God! Powerful, much?
-Did you write this? -Oh, God. No. I hired a speechwriter.
I mean, look at me in this dress. Do I look like a writer?
-No, you don't. And thank God for that. -Right?
Can you imagine?
"I think the comma should go over there, not here."
"Words, words, words.
I have no way of communicating with people."
"Let's workshop this piece I'm working on right now."
Oh, God. That's too real.
-I took it too far. -Yeah.
Wow.
This is the coolest thing I've ever been to.
Alex wants proof that I'm actually here.
-Oh, my God. -What?
That is Martin Streibler.
Oh, man.
What a cool feeling…
for someone who knows who Martin Streibler is.
He founded the software company
that revolutionized accounting back in the '90s.
I mean, he's like the LeBron James of number crunching.
Sorry, I don't know if you're a sports guy. LeBron James--
Look, I appreciate you not making assumptions,
but I know who LeBron James is.
Okay.
All right.
Let's go say hi to Martin.
Wait, what? Hang on. Are you kidding?
No. Why not?
The guy is, like, a billionaire. We can't just walk up to him. Right?
Sure we can. I mean, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Let's go.
Pardon me. I do not mean to interrupt
what appears to be a very lively and lovely conversation, but--
Are you Martin Streibler?
Yes, I am.
Well, sir, I have your number-one fan right over here.
-Say hello. -Hello.
-Where is this bartender? -I don't know. It's been a while.
Here I am. So sorry to make you wait.
What can I get for you?
Could I please have a tequila and a Diet Sprite with five cherries
-and a little bit of-- -Oh, Lord, no.
We will have two vodka martinis, dry as a bone, with a twist.
Excellent choice.
He's very handsome.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
It this what all martinis taste like? This vodka is incredible.
Right? That's my favorite brand.
Wait. Are you Jean-Pierre Voland?
I am.
I saw you waiting, so I had to do something.
This man might just be as rich as you, and he's a huge philanthropist.
His family owns the company that makes this vodka.
Believe it or not, that baby is me.
My grandfather put me on the bottle. I don't know why.
Maybe because you were such a handsome baby?
I'm Sofia.
Your family's foundation does great work.
And I'm Molly.
And your family's vodka also does great work.
For me. On the dance floor.
Parlez français?
I mean, I know how to cheers in several languages.
Just a heads-up.
Try not to say ochinchin to a room full of Japanese businessmen.
It means, "Cheers to your little boy's penis."
Good to know.
Well, if you will excuse me. Please enjoy your evening.
And you.
I can't believe that's that hot baby all grown up.
I mean, the GUI that you added to keep track of moving averages…
Genius alert!
-You really love this stuff, don't you? -I do, yes. Very much so.
Let me give you my card. You should come by our offices.
Yeah! I would-- I-- Definitely. Let's do it.
I'll just finish my Martinelli's here.
He means another time when we're not at a party.
Got it. Sorry. Got a little excited.
You're doing great.
So sorry.
Hailey?
Molly. Hi.
Hi.
-Hey. Sorry. -No, I-- Sorry.
I didn't want to run into you like this.
It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine.
-Cool. -Cool.
I like your dress.
Really?
So, do you wanna fuck it the way you fucked my husband?
Okay. It seems like you're not fine.
Molly! Hey. Long time no see.
What are you doing here? I thought you were in Monaco.
Well, we were, but then, you know, the Mannies called.
I'm a big donor, so they wanted me here.
So we turned the plane around.
-Fantastic. -Yeah.
So, can she eat her steak by herself, or do you need to cut it for her?
Neither. I'm a pescatarian.
Okay, let's just take a breath here.
I am breathing just fine, thank you. Everything is fine.
There is nothing abnormal about the way I'm breathing.
I am perfectly breathing normally.
It's not out of the ordinary. Thank you very much.
Why don't you two have a great night? I'll see you guys later. Goodbye.
-John is here. -What?
John is here with Hailey.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him. If I see him, I'm gonna--
Oh, my God. His hair looks amazing.
Did he get a body wave? There's no way that's natural.
I can't do this.
Come on.
Molly! Molly, wait!
Molly! Come on! Wait! Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. Talk to us.
I don't understand. He never cared about charity before.
-Why would he come here tonight? -Because he wanted this to happen.
-He wanted to get in your head. -What?
Nicholas is right. He's jealous of the good press you're getting.
He showed up to throw you off your game.
I think he wants to win the breakup.
Exactly. Okay? So this is what you need to do.
You need to calm down, walk back in there, waltz up to John,
and take a picture with him with the biggest smile anyone's ever seen.
Regain control.
That is some real First Wives Club-level stuff.
-Exactly. And you're Bette Midler. -No, I wanna be Goldie Hawn.
We've talked about this. I am clearly Goldie Hawn.
I don't care about what white woman you wanna be.
If we're gonna do this, we should get back in there.
Clearly, someone's a Diane Keaton.
-Who is that? -I'll tell you later.
-Hello, John. -Hi.
Hailey.
I just wanted to stop by and say hi.
-I love your dress. -Thanks.
-And your hair. It's beautiful. -Isn't she gorgeous?
What do you say the three of us get a picture together?
-Yeah. Okay. -Okay, here we go.
This is so nice.
What a beautiful night, huh?
-I love this night. -Me too.
All right. I better get back to my table and work on my speech.
-All right. Great to see you. -Beautiful night.
-Lovely to see you. -Okay. Yeah.
Then my Aunt Mabel says, "The ice cream bar's in your hand."
Such a humorous ending. Howard, what do you do?
Well, I'm currently in information technology,
but to save time, I call it "information T."
Uh-huh. I knew it. IT.
So, is your company a new start-up idea?
Oh, no. I mean, I'm just an employee at the Wells Foundation.
Yeah, Howard is a huge part of our team.
We couldn't get through a single day without him.
Such admirable work.
I mean, yeah, it's admirable,
but it doesn't mean I don't have other irons in the fire.
I mean, I've almost started a pro-wrestling podcast several times.
-Wow. -In many ways, I'm jealous of you.
You have your whole life ahead of you.
You can explore your passions.
I mean, I love my company,
but sometimes I call it my six-billion-dollar prison.
My God. This-- This is what you wanted to deprive us of?
Okay, you're right. This lobster is stupid good.
I'm not even chewing. It's just melting.
There's chocolate inside of everything.
I'm gonna go freshen up for my speech.
What do you think about a peace offering?
What do you want?
Okay, look.
Please.
What I want…
is to say that I'm sorry.
Wow.
Here it comes. The moment we've all been waiting for.
Look, I mean it.
I mean, there were problems. We both know that. But…
I should have addressed them with you instead of running away. It--
I disrespected you and our marriage.
And… I regret it.
Okay.
Thank you for saying that.
Wha-- Hold on, Molly. I'm not done.
I also wanted to say that…
what you're doing now, with the charity,
it's amazing.
I mean, to endure what I put you through and end up where you did?
It's extremely impressive.
I probably shouldn't say this,
but I think Hailey is a little jealous of you.
Well, you definitely shouldn't say that.
And I definitely shouldn't say that I love hearing that.
So…
how do you like being the boss?
-I like it. -Yeah.
I mean, sometimes. Sometimes it's terrible.
I heard that.
You're, you know, definitely making a difference,
so that's something to be proud of right there.
I mean, obviously, it's way easier to give money away than to earn it,
but still.
That's just a joke.
You can't help yourself, can you?
Okay. Take it easy.
Don't tell me to "take it easy."
You have this pathological need for competition. I--
That's what this whole night is for you, isn't it?
What competition are you talking about?
I mean, you understand there is a big difference between building what I built
and then just giving away half of what I earned
to some fucking dance teams.
-What you earned? -Yeah.
I was there every step of the way.
I supported you while you dicked around in our garage,
doubting yourself, wondering if you were ever gonna make it.
But I did make it.
And then you sat by the pool for 20 years doing literally nothing.
So I feel like that's a pretty good return on your investment.
This was a mistake.
I'm going to get my award.
Okay. Well, you're welcome, by the way.
For what? What does that mean?
Come on, Molly.
How do you think they choose who gets these awards?
You think there's a computer that measures how much good you're doing in the world?
I have no idea how it works.
I'm friends with some people on the board of this event.
I made some calls, strongly suggested they give you an award.
I don't know, I thought you could use the win.
Hey. Everybody was wondering where you went.
Something wrong?
Never give you enough cornichons with your charcuterie.
Okay. Something not food-related bothering you?
It's just that your man, Martin, said something that made me think.
I mean, I know you look at me as your young, hip, Gen Z friend
that's, like, 23, 24 tops.
Yeah. Yeah. Something like that.
Well, I'm not 23. I'm 38 years old.
So I don't have my whole life in front of me,
and I'm just not happy with where I am right now.
Sometimes I'm just up late at night
wondering if I'm wasting my life or something.
I'm sorry, buddy.
Yeah. You know, it's kind of just all hitting me at once,
and I was quietly processing it until someone rudely interrupted me.
Got it. Well, I'm sorry I interrupted you.
But I gotta say, Howard,
you have a gift that almost no one else in the world has.
People love you. They want to be around you.
Take tonight. You had those billionaires eating out of your hand.
That's easy.
That's just eye contact and picturing everyone as Santa Claus.
My point is, someone with your charisma is gonna go far in this world.
I guarantee you that one day you will be someone's Martin Streibler.
Thank you. That's cool of you to say.
You wanna head back to the table?
-Yeah. -Okay.
But grab that charcuterie for me.
Okay.
I think there are people that do this, but okay.
Hey, you coming in?
I think your award's up soon.
I'm sorry. I just don't feel like accepting an award right now.
You sure? 'Cause your speech is great, and you look beautiful.
Thank you.
I think everything started feeling too intense, you know?
You guys should stay and enjoy your night.
I'll just sit here for a sec, and then I'm gonna head home.
Okay.
Yeah, she's not coming back.
Okay. Then where we going?
You guys, you left your table?
Are you sure you don't wanna stay?
No. What's the point of being in there if you're not with us?
Yeah, we got your back, coz.
If we're leaving, why don't we just go to Dave & Buster's?
-I got a ton of tickets. -No, Howard, those tickets are a scam.
No, they are not. I'm only 700,000 away from a PS3.
What?
The amount you're spending there you could be putting into a Roth IRA.
It doesn't matter. I'm not getting hate-crimed at a Dave & Buster's tonight.
Rest in peace, you titans of charity.
And now, on a lighter note,
here to accept the Marjorie Pendleton Foster Award,
please give a warm welcome to Ms. Molly Wells.
Has anyone seen Molly Wells?
She was right there.
Sorry, everyone. So sorry.
Molly Wells, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
Sorry. Sorry, everyone.
I bet some of you thought I got hit by a train like Marjorie.
Not going down like her.
Tonight, I had planned to give a long speech that was all about me.
But I don't know how much I deserve this award.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I am pretty great.
But I'm also pretty new to this charity thing.
And you know who's been putting in the work for a long time?
My team.
They work hard without ever asking for credit.
And they're always there for me in every way.
So I'd like to ask them to come up here and accept this award,
because tonight should really be about them.
Oh, my God. This is amazing.
I didn't even want to come to this tonight,
but I loved those martinis
and the little potato chips with the tuna on them.
And now this!
Oh, my God, this is heavy. Thank you!
Hey, the night is still young. How long does Dave & Buster's stay open?
-The one in the mall closes at 11:00. -We can make it.
-Yeah. -Okay, apps are on me, guys.
Miss Wells!
Hi again.
I like what you said up there.
Thanks.
If you're open to it, I'd love to work on a project together.
Yeah. That would be great.
All right. Give me a call.
I'll be waiting.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Don't worry about it, you guys.
Okay, when I say Dave, you say Buster's.
-Dave. -Buster's!