1 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:16,225 (加州,加迪納,恩典主教食物銀行) 2 00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:17,309 要出來了 3 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,728 (為此公益食品倉庫 捐贈:食品與用品) 4 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,939 (公益食品倉庫,今日菜單 蔬菜湯、雞肉) 5 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,065 (水果盤、米飯和豆子) 6 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,483 (滿足南加州的需求) 7 00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,276 (今日菜單:水果、花生醬果醬三明治) 8 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,036 搞啥鬼? 9 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:40,999 (加州,瑟袞多 南加州LGBTQ青年中心) 10 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,501 莉茲小姐,別痛宰他們 11 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,503 (愛、力量、接納) 12 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,380 謝謝 13 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,217 -空調的人回電沒? -沒有 14 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,178 怎麼可能?再等一個小時 我就要自己動手修了 15 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,014 (成為LGBTQ青年導師) 16 00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:59,852 (驕傲) 17 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,353 他媽的,不會吧 18 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,690 (加州,博伊爾高地,現代芭蕾舞團) 19 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,943 來吧,各位,有精神點 20 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:12,906 各位,挺胸、肩膀下壓 21 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,412 喂 22 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:19,997 我就是 23 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,249 是真的嗎? 24 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,419 好耶 25 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,258 (意外的捐款) 26 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:34,469 今天早上,超過150個當地組織感到震驚 27 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:37,973 因為他們收到億萬富翁莫莉威爾斯 慷慨捐款資助的禮物 28 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,725 威爾斯利用她雄厚的財力 29 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,436 資助南加州的推廣計畫 30 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:45,898 她主動提供此一禮物 讓收禮者們大吃一驚 31 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:49,860 這筆錢將改善許多LGBTQ青年的生活 32 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,528 這種事竟然會發生在我們身上 33 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,696 我好感激 34 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:58,660 執行長約翰諾瓦克的前妻 在一份聲明中表示 35 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,288 今早的活動只是一個開端 36 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,665 還有更多財政協助即將發出 37 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,918 對於這些應得的人來說,真是美好的一天 38 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:07,669 哇 39 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:12,007 各位,恭喜,莫莉,功勞都歸妳 40 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,301 這些意外捐款真是神來一筆 41 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,594 謝了 42 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:19,389 看到我自己因為正面的事件而上電視 感覺真是新鮮呢 43 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,726 各位,我很以我們為榮,大家乾杯 44 00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:27,022 另一則新聞,在俄亥俄州的 一處地下室發現了18隻斷腳… 45 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,234 不…別為這則乾杯,是為上一則新聞乾杯 46 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,278 《錢錢錢錢》 47 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,708 (餘額不足) 48 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:53,131 (美國證券交易所) 49 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,473 (逾期,最後通知) 50 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:23,370 我的天啊,莫莉…小莫…大消息 51 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,539 我有些好消息,也有些壞消息 52 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:28,125 好消息是我們受邀參加一場超豪華派對 53 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,211 -那壞消息呢? -這裡的所有人都受邀了 54 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,046 (第38屆年度晚宴) 55 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:37,092 我獲得了“慈善人道獎”的認可? 56 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,927 人道獎?真的嗎? 57 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:42,931 對,上頭說我要獲頒 “瑪喬麗潘德頓福斯特獎” 58 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,433 那是誰? 59 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,310 她是一位著名的慈善家 60 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:49,229 她利用家族的石油財富建立了許多孤兒院 61 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,607 後來她跑去撞火車自殺了 62 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,693 誰管這些事啊? 63 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,404 這是在一家高檔酒店的正式晚宴 64 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,156 我們回歸了 65 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,408 哇,這場慶祝會有外燴服務 66 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,286 還有素食選項,真是太體貼了 67 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,497 上頭說他們提供龍蝦和牛肋排 68 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,249 我超愛海陸全餐的 69 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,877 我參加過很多頒獎典禮 70 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,546 不過都是因為約翰獲得某個獎項 71 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,130 我為妳感到很開心 72 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,509 但我們應該出席人道獎嗎? 73 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,011 什麼?妳為何要這樣?為何? 74 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,513 這感覺不太恰當 75 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:26,099 只是去看一群億萬富翁互贈黃金雕像 76 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,104 但我們工作太辛苦了 77 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,899 免費的牛肋排誰不愛呢? 78 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,192 那就說定了 79 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,111 我們要好好打扮,要吃龍蝦 80 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,072 我們要去參加豪華派對 81 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,449 慶祝我送走這超爛的一年 82 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:45,577 -好,但要記得… -不,才不讓妳來掃興 83 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:48,664 好,沒事,我們會去 沒事的,寶貝,沒事 84 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:49,873 快走… 85 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:50,832 好,我們會去的 86 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:54,670 沒事…我知道 87 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,589 你真的覺得我穿這樣可以? 88 00:04:57,673 --> 00:05:00,634 我這輩子沒有這麼確定過 89 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,262 好,我要出來囉 90 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:11,019 我的天啊,真是太美了 91 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:14,648 妳根本就是浴火鳳凰 92 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,066 妳穿這件超美 93 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,277 只差一點點就要讓我變直男了 94 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,611 感覺真的很棒耶 95 00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:22,698 因為離婚以外的理由被人看見 96 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,616 對,是妳應得的 97 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,660 -演講稿進度如何? -很好 98 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:31,248 “很多人都知道,我這一年來很辛苦 99 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:35,169 在那段旅程中,我找到了療癒的方法 100 00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:39,882 慈善事業的核心就是療癒他人 101 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,261 但同時也是療癒自我” 102 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,140 我的天啊,真是鏗鏘有力 103 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,642 -是妳寫的? -天啊,不是,我找了講稿寫手 104 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:53,103 瞧瞧穿這身衣服的我,我看起來像寫手? 105 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,355 -不,妳不像,謝天謝地 -對吧? 106 00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:56,565 妳能想像嗎? 107 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,818 “我覺得逗點應該在那裡,不能放這裡” 108 00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:01,195 “文字… 109 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,238 我無法與人交流” 110 00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:05,741 “來討論一下我正在寫的文章吧” 111 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,950 天啊,太真實了 112 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,994 -我太過頭了 -對 113 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,874 (善人獎:慈善人道獎) 114 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,466 哇 115 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,718 這是我參加過最酷的活動 116 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,930 艾莉克絲要看我真的有來的證明 117 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,101 -我的天啊 -怎麼了? 118 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:17,187 那是馬丁史特雷布勒 119 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,147 天啊 120 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,649 真是太酷了 121 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:23,110 但我得知道馬丁史特雷布勒是誰啊 122 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,112 他創立了一間軟體公司 123 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,698 在1990年代徹底改變了會計界 124 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,742 他就像數字運算界的詹皇 125 00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:33,412 抱歉,我不知道你看不看運動比賽 詹皇是… 126 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,706 我很感激你沒有妄下臆斷 127 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,457 但我知道詹皇是誰 128 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:38,542 好 129 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,918 好啊 130 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,253 來去跟馬丁打招呼吧 131 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,881 等等,什麼?等一下,你在開玩笑嗎? 132 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:44,840 沒有,有何不可? 133 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,759 那個人是億萬富翁 我們不能直接過去找他吧? 134 00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:50,971 當然可以,這是一生難得的機會 135 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,848 走吧 136 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,066 不好意思,我無意打擾 137 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:07,196 這看似活潑又和樂的對話,不過… 138 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:08,614 你是馬丁史特雷布勒? 139 00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:09,698 對,我是 140 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:14,745 先生,這位是您的頭號粉絲呢 141 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,792 -說哈囉吧 -哈囉 142 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,385 -酒保呢? -不知道,已經過很久了耶 143 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,847 我來了,真的很抱歉讓妳們久等了 144 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:35,974 想喝點什麼嗎? 145 00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:38,894 我能不能來一杯龍舌蘭酒 和一杯健怡雪碧加五顆櫻桃 146 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,770 -再加一點… -老天啊,不可以 147 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:44,274 我們要兩杯伏特加馬丁尼 微苦,加檸檬片 148 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,443 很好的選擇 149 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:49,655 他很帥 150 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,913 -謝謝 -謝謝 151 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,169 馬丁尼嚐起來都像這樣嗎? 這伏特加太好喝了 152 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:06,255 對吧?這是我最愛的牌子 153 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,008 等等,你是尚皮爾伏蘭? 154 00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,093 我是 155 00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:14,763 我看到妳們在等待,所以我得想想辦法 156 00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:18,517 這男人也許跟妳一樣有錢 而且他是個大慈善家 157 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,602 他的家族擁有生產這款伏特加的公司 158 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:24,231 信不信由妳,這寶寶就是我 159 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,148 (伏蘭高級伏特加) 160 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,192 我爺爺把我放在瓶子上 我也不知道為什麼 161 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:29,361 也許因為你是個很帥的寶寶? 162 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,405 我是蘇菲亞 163 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,323 你的家族基金會做的事很棒 164 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,741 我是莫莉 165 00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:37,202 你的家族伏特加也很棒 166 00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,121 讓我醉到願意進舞池 167 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,002 妳會說法語? 168 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,715 我會用好幾種語言說“乾杯” 169 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,341 先提醒你 170 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:55,179 儘量別對著滿屋子的日本商人 說“噢親親” 171 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,639 這表示:“敬你兒子的小雞雞” 172 00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,683 幸好我知道了 173 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,646 恕我失陪,今晚請好好享受 174 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,315 你也是 175 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:11,195 那個帥寶寶竟然長這麼大了 176 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,951 你新增圖像使用者介面以追蹤滾動平均值 177 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:19,786 真是太天才了 178 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:23,582 -你真的很熱愛這種事吧? -沒錯,是的,非常熱愛 179 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,376 我把名片給你吧 你應該來我們的辦公室看看 180 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,546 好啊,我會…我一定會的,我們就去吧 181 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,131 我先把這杯馬丁內利喝完 182 00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:34,801 他是說改天,不是參加派對的時候 183 00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:38,138 我明白了,抱歉,我有點太興奮了 184 00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:39,306 你表現很棒 185 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:41,850 (女廁,男廁) 186 00:10:41,934 --> 00:10:45,062 (歡迎光臨第38屆善人獎晚宴) 187 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,230 真是抱歉 188 00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:49,691 海莉 189 00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,109 嗨,莫莉 190 00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:52,986 嗨 191 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,865 -嘿,抱歉 -不,我…抱歉 192 00:10:56,949 --> 00:10:58,825 我不是故意要這樣碰見妳的 193 00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,994 沒關係,我沒事,一切都很好 194 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,413 -很好 -很好 195 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:06,959 我喜歡妳的洋裝 196 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,211 真的? 197 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,380 那麼,妳想要用妳上我老公的方式 來上我的洋裝嗎? 198 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,340 好,妳似乎很不好 199 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:17,094 莫莉,嘿,好久不見 200 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,763 你怎麼會來?我還以為你在摩納哥 201 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:23,100 我們本來是,但後來人道獎來電 202 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,018 我是重要捐贈者,所以他們希望我過來 203 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,603 所以我們改了航班 204 00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,313 -太好了 -是啊 205 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:33,610 那她能自己吃牛排嗎? 還是你得幫她切好? 206 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,404 都不對,我吃魚素 207 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,281 好,大家都喘口氣 208 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:41,034 我的氣順得很,謝謝,一切都很好 209 00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:43,412 我的呼吸沒有什麼不對的地方 210 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,830 我的呼吸很正常 211 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,957 一點都沒有不正常,非常感謝你 212 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,169 你們兩個何不好好享受今晚? 我們稍後見,再見 213 00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:56,967 -約翰來了 -啥? 214 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,802 約翰跟海莉在這裡 215 00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,470 我的天啊,妳還好嗎? 216 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:03,348 我要去宰了他…如果我見到他,我要… 217 00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,726 我的天啊,他的髮型真棒 218 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:09,229 他做了波浪燙?那捲度不可能是自然的 219 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:11,565 我待不下去了 220 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:16,820 來吧 221 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,198 莫莉…等等 222 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:22,910 莫莉,拜託,等等,等一下…跟我們聊聊 223 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,412 我不懂,他以前從來都不在乎慈善事業 224 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:28,332 -他今晚為何要來? -因為他想要這種事發生 225 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,334 -他想要整妳 -什麼? 226 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,920 尼可拉斯說得對,他嫉妒妳的正面報導 227 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,922 他出席這活動是為了讓妳出糗 228 00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:38,967 他想當勝利的一方 229 00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:41,595 沒錯,好嗎?所以妳得這麼做 230 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,681 妳得冷靜下來,回去裡頭 優雅地飄到約翰身邊 231 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:48,644 和他拍一張合照,展現出最燦爛的微笑 232 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:49,728 奪回掌控權 233 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,606 這是真實版的《大老婆俱樂部》橋段 234 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,651 -沒錯,妳是貝蒂蜜勒 -不要,我想當歌蒂韓 235 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,986 寶貝,我們談過這件事了 顯然我才是歌蒂韓 236 00:12:58,070 --> 00:12:59,738 我不在乎妳想當哪個白人女性 237 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,573 如果要做的話,就得進去 238 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,619 顯然有人是黛安基頓呢 239 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,829 -那是誰? -之後再跟妳說 240 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,343 -約翰,你好 -嗨 241 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,553 海莉 242 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,514 我只想過來打個招呼 243 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,016 -我好愛妳的洋裝 -謝了 244 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,769 -還有妳的髮型,真美 -她很美吧? 245 00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,021 我們三個來拍張合照吧? 246 00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:36,191 -好,好啊 -好,來吧 247 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,237 真棒 248 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,572 真是美好的一晚,對吧? 249 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,782 -我愛今晚 -我也是 250 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,578 好,我最好是回去我那桌 練習一下我的演講 251 00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,663 -好,真高興見到妳 -美好的夜晚 252 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,707 -很高興見到妳 -好的,好 253 00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:03,093 我的美寶阿姨說:“冰棒就在你手裡” 254 00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:08,348 真是幽默的結局 霍華,你的工作是什麼? 255 00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:10,726 我目前任職於資訊科技領域 256 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,061 但為了省時間,我稱之為“IT” 257 00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:14,605 是啊,我知道,IT 258 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,191 那麼你的公司是新創公司? 259 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:20,611 不是…我只是威爾斯基金會的員工 260 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,946 對,霍華是我們團隊很重要的一員 261 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,823 如果沒有他,我們連一天都撐不過去 262 00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,201 真是令人欽佩的工作 263 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,203 是啊,是令人欽佩 264 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:32,206 但這不表示我手邊沒有其他要事 265 00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:35,667 我有好多次都差點開設職業摔角的播客 266 00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:38,170 -哇 -在很多方面,我都很嫉妒你 267 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,963 你還有大好前程等著你 268 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,216 你可以去探索自己的熱情所在 269 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,259 我是說,我愛我的公司 270 00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:46,637 但有時候我稱之為我的六十億美元牢籠 271 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:58,649 我的天啊,這個… 就是妳想要剝奪我們的東西? 272 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,943 好,你說得對,這龍蝦真是太好吃了 273 00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,653 我根本沒嚼,它就化開了 274 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:08,033 每樣東西裡面都有巧克力 275 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:11,370 (約翰諾瓦克:我稍早並非想要嚇妳) 276 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:13,205 (可以聊聊嗎?我在我的休息室) 277 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,249 我去為演講整理一下儀容 278 00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:24,675 (休息室,保留予約翰諾瓦克) 279 00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,438 我們停戰妳覺得如何? 280 00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:42,192 你想幹嘛? 281 00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:47,698 好,聽我說 282 00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:51,952 請坐 283 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:58,834 我想要… 284 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,005 說我很對不起 285 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,967 哇 286 00:16:07,593 --> 00:16:10,012 我們都在等待的時刻到來了 287 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,221 聽我說,我是真心的 288 00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:14,808 我們都知道有問題,但是… 289 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,354 我應該和妳談開而不是逃走,那… 290 00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,525 我不尊重妳和我們的婚姻 291 00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:27,529 而且我很後悔 292 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:33,285 好 293 00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:37,456 感謝你這麼說 294 00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:39,541 什…等等,莫莉,我還沒說完 295 00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:44,213 我還想說… 296 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,842 妳現在的所作所為,在慈善事業方面 297 00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:51,386 很棒 298 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:55,766 忍受我讓妳經歷的一切 還能有如此的成果? 299 00:16:58,352 --> 00:16:59,853 真的令人很佩服 300 00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:03,190 我可能不該這麼說 301 00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:07,109 但我覺得海莉有點嫉妒妳 302 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,907 你真的不該這麼說 303 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:18,789 我也真的不該說我很高興聽到 304 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,713 所以… 305 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,717 當老闆的感覺如何? 306 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,512 -我喜歡 -好 307 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,430 有時候喜歡,有時候很糟糕 308 00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:36,807 我懂 309 00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:40,185 妳真的很有影響力 310 00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:42,396 這是值得驕傲的事 311 00:17:44,815 --> 00:17:48,026 不過給錢當然比賺錢容易 312 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:49,111 但還是很棒 313 00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:53,532 我在開玩笑 314 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,159 你就是忍不住,對吧? 315 00:17:56,827 --> 00:17:58,579 好啦,放鬆點 316 00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:00,455 別叫我放鬆 317 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:06,545 你有種病態的好勝心,我… 318 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:09,798 對你來說 今晚的這部分才是重點,對吧? 319 00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:12,467 妳到底在說什麼好勝心? 320 00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:16,889 妳懂得打造我所打造的事業 321 00:18:16,972 --> 00:18:19,600 跟把我所賺來的一半送給 322 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,101 某個他媽的舞蹈團體不同吧? 323 00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:22,728 -你賺的? -對啊 324 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,063 每一步我都有參與 325 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:29,109 當你在我們的車庫亂搞的時候 是我養你的 326 00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:32,154 你當時還懷疑自己到底能不能成功 327 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,447 但我成功了 328 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:38,744 然後妳花了20年坐在池邊,什麼也沒做 329 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,496 所以我覺得妳的投資報酬率挺高的 330 00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:43,332 這真是大錯特錯 331 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,584 我要去接受我的獎項 332 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:48,212 好啊,對了,不客氣 333 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,631 為何?這是什麼意思? 334 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,007 莫莉,拜託 335 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,051 妳覺得他們是怎麼選擇讓誰得獎的? 336 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:57,804 妳覺得有一部電腦 去替妳為世界做的好事評分嗎? 337 00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,640 我不知道是怎麼選的 338 00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:02,100 這活動的董事會中有些人是我的朋友 339 00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:05,938 我打了幾通電話,強烈建議把獎項頒給妳 340 00:19:08,482 --> 00:19:10,234 我覺得妳需要獲獎的感覺 341 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,000 嘿,大家都在想你跑哪去了 342 00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,087 怎麼了嗎? 343 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:33,006 冷肉盤裡的酸黃瓜永遠給得不夠多 344 00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:36,885 好,有什麼不關食物的事讓你心煩? 345 00:19:37,553 --> 00:19:40,264 你朋友馬丁說了些話讓我思考了一番 346 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,976 我知道你把我視為你的 年輕、時髦、Z世代朋友 347 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:46,228 最多只有23、24歲 348 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,814 是啊…差不多 349 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:52,109 我不是23歲,我已經38歲了 350 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,194 所以我沒有大好前程等著我 351 00:19:54,278 --> 00:19:56,989 我對於現在的狀態很不滿 352 00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:58,782 有時候我會在半夜醒來 353 00:19:58,866 --> 00:20:00,909 想著我到底是不是在浪費人生 354 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,245 兄弟,我很抱歉 355 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:07,040 是啊,所有念頭一舉襲來 356 00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:11,378 我正在安靜地消化 然後有人粗暴地來打斷了 357 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:16,383 瞭解,我很抱歉打斷你 358 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:19,303 但我得說,霍華… 359 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:23,056 你有一種世界上 幾乎沒有其他人擁有的天賦 360 00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:26,518 大家都愛你,他們想要待在你身邊 361 00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:29,271 以今晚為例 你把那些億萬富翁唬得一愣一愣的 362 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,480 是啊,很簡單 363 00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:33,317 只要眼神交會 把大家都想成耶誕老公公就好了 364 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,571 我要說的是像你這樣有魅力的人 一定會成功的 365 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:41,450 我向你保證,你總有一天會成為 某人心目中的馬丁史特雷布勒 366 00:20:43,327 --> 00:20:45,704 謝謝,你這麼說真好 367 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,289 你想回座位去了嗎? 368 00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:48,832 -好啊 -好 369 00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:50,459 幫我把冷肉盤端來吧 370 00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:52,586 好啊 371 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,047 我覺得會有服務生來端吧,不過沒關係 372 00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:05,224 嘿,妳要進來嗎? 373 00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:06,767 我想妳的獎項就快到了 374 00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:11,688 抱歉,我現在覺得我不想接受獎項了 375 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:17,903 妳確定?因為妳的講稿很棒 而且妳超美的耶 376 00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:19,988 謝謝 377 00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:24,243 我覺得情況開始變得有點太緊繃了 378 00:21:24,785 --> 00:21:26,745 你們應該留下來,好好享受今晚 379 00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:30,457 我就在這裡坐一下,然後回家去 380 00:21:32,084 --> 00:21:33,085 好 381 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:34,962 對,她不回去了 382 00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:37,172 好,那我們要去哪? 383 00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:42,261 各位,你們退席了? 384 00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,137 你們確定不想待著? 385 00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:47,599 不要,如果妳沒跟我們在一起 那還有什麼意義? 386 00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:49,434 表姊,我們都挺妳 387 00:21:49,518 --> 00:21:51,937 如果我們要離開,何不去戴巴餐廳? 388 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,898 -我有一堆票 -不要,霍華,那些是詐騙票 389 00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:58,151 才不是,我再集七十萬張 就能買一台PS3了 390 00:21:58,235 --> 00:21:59,069 什麼? 391 00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:01,905 你在那裡花的錢 都能放進羅斯個人退休帳戶了 392 00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:05,075 無所謂,我今晚才不要 去戴巴餐廳去引起仇恨犯罪 393 00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:12,332 (緬懷大慈善家,傑斯謝爾文) 394 00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:14,084 (緬懷大慈善家,詹姆斯韋斯特米爾) 395 00:22:18,255 --> 00:22:22,259 (緬懷大慈善家,羅伯特阿森伯格) 396 00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:25,804 安息吧,各位大慈善家 397 00:22:25,888 --> 00:22:26,847 (第38屆善人獎) 398 00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:28,265 現在,讓氣氛輕鬆點 399 00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:31,560 瑪喬麗潘德頓福斯特獎的受獎者 400 00:22:31,643 --> 00:22:34,646 請熱烈歡迎莫莉威爾斯女士 401 00:22:36,815 --> 00:22:41,069 (瑪喬麗潘德頓福斯特獎) 402 00:22:44,031 --> 00:22:45,949 有人看到莫莉威爾斯嗎? 403 00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:49,411 她原本就在那裡啊 404 00:22:50,204 --> 00:22:51,955 抱歉,各位,很抱歉 405 00:22:52,039 --> 00:22:54,291 各位女士、先生,歡迎莫莉威爾斯 406 00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:55,375 謝謝 407 00:22:56,627 --> 00:22:59,338 抱歉…各位 408 00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:02,883 應該有些人以為我跟瑪喬麗一樣 被火車撞死了吧 409 00:23:04,510 --> 00:23:05,886 我不會跟她一樣慘的 410 00:23:07,596 --> 00:23:12,809 今晚我本來要發表關於我自己的長篇大論 411 00:23:14,061 --> 00:23:19,107 但我不知道自己何德何能可以獲頒此獎 412 00:23:20,484 --> 00:23:23,070 別誤會我的意思,我挺棒的 413 00:23:24,863 --> 00:23:28,951 但我在慈善事業的世界也是個新手 414 00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:34,873 你們知道長久以來都是誰在盡心盡力嗎? 415 00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:37,167 我的團隊 416 00:23:38,544 --> 00:23:42,923 他們不求回報地努力 417 00:23:44,091 --> 00:23:49,179 他們無論如何都挺我 418 00:23:50,973 --> 00:23:55,269 所以我想要請他們上台來接受這個獎項 419 00:23:55,352 --> 00:23:57,813 因為他們才是今晚的主角 420 00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:10,492 我的天啊,真是太棒了 421 00:24:10,576 --> 00:24:12,494 我今晚本來根本不想來 422 00:24:12,578 --> 00:24:14,121 但我愛那幾杯馬丁尼 423 00:24:14,204 --> 00:24:16,582 還有加了鮪魚的薯片 424 00:24:16,665 --> 00:24:18,083 現在還有這個 425 00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:20,085 天啊,這玩意真重,謝謝 426 00:24:34,725 --> 00:24:37,853 嘿,還沒有很晚耶 戴巴餐廳開到幾點? 427 00:24:37,936 --> 00:24:40,689 -商場裡的那間11點關門 -我們趕得及 428 00:24:40,772 --> 00:24:42,858 -對 -好,各位,我請開胃菜 429 00:24:43,817 --> 00:24:44,985 威爾斯女士 430 00:24:47,613 --> 00:24:48,614 又見面了 431 00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:49,698 又見面了 432 00:24:49,781 --> 00:24:51,116 我喜歡妳在台上說的話 433 00:24:52,034 --> 00:24:52,910 謝了 434 00:24:54,328 --> 00:24:57,831 如果你們可以的話,我想要合作一項企劃 435 00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,877 好啊,那樣就太好了 436 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,754 好,打電話給我 437 00:25:05,130 --> 00:25:06,381 我會等著的 438 00:25:06,965 --> 00:25:07,966 好 439 00:25:10,761 --> 00:25:12,763 我的天啊 440 00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:14,431 各位,別擔心 441 00:25:16,225 --> 00:25:18,477 好,我說戴,你們說巴 442 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:19,645 -戴 -巴 443 00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:20,604 -戴 -巴 444 00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:21,605 -戴 -巴 445 00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:22,648 -戴 -巴 446 00:25:22,731 --> 00:25:23,565 -戴 -巴 447 00:25:23,649 --> 00:25:24,483 -戴 -巴 448 00:25:24,566 --> 00:25:25,859 -戴 -巴 449 00:26:19,288 --> 00:26:21,290 字幕翻譯:徐懿芬