NETFLIX PRESENTS
LOVE.PL YOU HAVE ZERO MATCHES
SERGEANT WALDEMAR
-Hello? -Why aren't you picking up when I call?
I… didn't hear. What's up?
On your way to work, get two hot dogs.
-And something to drink. -Okay.
One with mustard and ketchup, one with Thousand Island.
Okay. Anything else?
No, that's it.
So I'll be there--
GROCERY STORE
Morning.
Two bottles of orange juice
and two hot dogs. One with ketchup and mustard, one…
with… Seven Island dressing and…
I'll pack it myself.
How much is it?
Twenty zlotys.
Why the fuck are you here?
Out!
Here's that 20 zlotys.
One more thing.
There is this Animal Rights Protection Act
of August 1997.
If I see you kick your dog or whatever one more time,
I'll take you to the precinct.
Got it? We'll see there how brave you are.
Get the fuck out.
POLICE
Howdy.
-Hey. -I bought you orange juice.
I don't drink orange juice.
Oh, right.
RESTROOM
Howdy.
-I've got the groceries-- -Bring them in.
One with mustard and ketchup.
Seven Island.
Two bottles of orange juice.
From today?
It was made today.
What happened here?
Something went down last night?
Who's in the cells?
Sarge, can you tell me anything?
Yesterday, the girl came here.
The one in the cell.
All dirty, covered in blood,
and visibly fucked up in the eyes.
Started saying some shit about meteors or meteorites.
And that all her friends were dead,
killed by some fat murderers.
And that she killed the fatties in revenge.
Supposedly, killed one with a machete, and ran the other one over with a car.
"Supposedly," as the fatties are locked up here too.
So we went there to that cabin.
And indeed, there was a fat guy there,
so we busted him.
Less than an hour later,
Mariusz and his brother brought in the other fat guy,
because they ran into him on their way.
And now… we have a few corpses.
Including a policeman from a nearby municipality.
This shit doesn't add up.
Do you understand any of this?
Wow.
Wow, indeed.
Should we call the regional headquarters?
What if I already have?
You called regional?
Metropolitan. You have a fucking problem with me?
No, just asking. Good that you called the Metropolitan.
What did they say?
That they will send special forces from the capital.
Special forces?
Yeah, fucking special forces. Don't you know what they are?
I know they're special forces…
-When are they coming? -I don't know.
Tonight or in the morning.
It's some archbishop's birthday. The ministers are there,
and the special forces are protecting those ministrants.
HIS MIDDLE NAME IS POWER
What else do you want to know?
You and Wanessa managed to arrest the fat guys?
-Yeah. -They're huge.
A few blows with a baton,
a jolt with a taser, and they're running like clockwork.
Hey.
Want a sip?
It's water.
I'm Adam.
I'm a constable here.
Yeah.
Zosia.
I heard.
Thanks.
If you need anything, you can always call on me.
Lock up later. Come on.
Get up.
Turn around. Hands.
What's going on?
We're doing a field visit.
Come on.
Lock up.
Listen.
Give me the interrogation notes.
And my cap.
When you're done with the report, send it to Warsaw.
Should I come with you? Maybe I could help.
No. Finish the report and go home.
Come on.
GOD, HONOR, HOMELAND
Please go in. Now, please.
Please go in. What did I say?
In, please.
Please!
We're in here and you're going to tell me exactly what happened.
From the very beginning.
Who got here first, who was last?
How did you all get out? What did you touch or take?
And when did you go down to the cellar?
Go.
Miss Iza,
our guide, went in first.
"Miss Iza first."
Okay. Where did the machete come from?
And the knife your friend was stabbed in the stomach with?
Jurek? Julek.
Well?
Oh, my. Turn around.
Turn around!
Sit down. Sit!
I'll be--
I'll be right back.
Fuck.
Hello?
Zosia, for fuck's sake!
-Thanks. -You're welcome.
It's odd they're not back yet.
Isn't it?
Call Waldek.
This is the voicemail--
It's switched off.
Or maybe there's no reception there.
I'll try the radio.
Sgt. Waldek, Adam Adamiec here.
Please come in. Over.
Sgt. Waldek, come in immediately. It's Adam here.
Over.
Sgt. Waldek, is everything okay? Over.
He's not answering.
All right, maybe take a ride there.
I'd rather not go alone.
I'm not done with the report yet.
Then I'll wait for you.
Fucking hell.
Wanessa, why are you getting upset?
There are some safety rules, right?
Like, there is this article in the health and safety regulations…
Move your ass.
Flashers on? I'm turning them on.
And today you…
You look nice.
Just saying.
Light my way.
Sarge?
Waldek?
What?
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Oh, no, no…
Let's go back to the station. Come on.
Leave me alone!
Wanessa.
Remember what Waldek said?
Special forces are coming, right?
Let's go back, wait for them, and come back with them.
-Come, now. -You're such a wimp!
Wimp?
They're not coming until late or even in the morning.
You know what will happen by morning? More people will die.
Get a grip, we are the police!
We can't wait for backup and hide
when that murderous cunt is running around.
We have to catch her!
But why? What for?
For fuck's sake! The handcuffs are here, she isn't. Sarge is dead.
Adaś, use your fucking brain!
That's our job.
Our duty. Remember the oath you took?
"To protect the community, even if it means risking our lives."
But my oath doesn't matter. Waldek has been fucking split in half.
You can't just do whatever, this isn't Miami Vice. Come on!
-We'll wait for them and come back-- -Don't touch me!
Sorry.
But… it's dark and we're alone.
We can't handle this.
We are not alone.
There's the Territorial Defense.
According to the cards, I see it's…
It's not just your legs. I reckon this is something much, much worse.
I reckon this could even be a brain tumor.
Jesus! So I guess I should see a doctor.
No, absolutely not, no need to see a doctor.
Let me tell you, Jarosław,
if you go to my website, www.psychicpablo.pl,
there are special ointments I've made with the best herbs, with ginseng…
Will you get that?
…and bamboo leaves, which are the best for all ailments.
I see. Well, thank you very much.
I also wanted to ask about my feet as sometimes they hurt.
According to the cards, it could also be your spine.
Hello?
Okay.
Gear up for action.
People used to be more human.
In the analog times.
And now?
All that technology has made us so freaking lonely.
Freaking lonely!
And frustrated.
All people do is spend time on the internet, cell phones, computers,
commenting on others.
This is now the most popular sport.
Online hate!
Fucking hell.
No more values, feelings, tenderness. Nothing.
Back in the day, there was your word, respect. And now?
We're at each other's throats.
Throats! In texts, on messengers… Fuck!
Fucking hell.
And if you don't add an emoji, someone gets fucking offended
because they don't get your joke or your fucking intention!
That's just sick.
The world got sick.
But I will cure it.
That's why I set up this camp.
Because I don't agree with any of this.
Adrenaline!
Yes. That's the truth.
No two ways about it.
What's this? Are your kids playing pranks?
How could they? The camp is empty.
They're out on a trip.
It might be a fuse or short circuit.
By the way, that leopard print…
I'll be right back!
Hurry up.
Fucking hell.
Robert?
Oh, fuck.
Fuck me.
Fuck!
Fuck me.
We're here.
She ran that way. Over there.
That's where the offline camp is.
How do you know she ran straight ahead and didn't turn left or right?
-Stay out of it. -We'll follow the tracks.
We know our stuff.
Let's go.
Courage, brotherhood, responsibility.
-That's who we fucking are. -#Territorials.
No, it makes no sense.
Move it! That's an order.
Wanessa, following a killer into the woods is a death wish.
Bad career choice?
Yes, apparently it was!
What the fuck was I thinking?
We should have three, five, ten times more guys for this.
And a helicopter!
Shut up!
And a searchlight!
Quiet, for fuck's sake!
She was here. Bear trap.
Light.
When our fugitive friend gets caught in this, there is no way out.
But how do you know she will be coming back through here?
If she gets lost, she'll come back here.
And it'll either be us, or the trap.
Wolves often watch the hunter, surround him,
and then follow his tracks.
He thinks he's following the wolf, but it's the wolf following him.
And that's when traps…
are awesome.
Yeah, but she's not a wolf.
What do you know about field work, hunting, tracking? Nothing.
Set up the trap. Twenty meters east.
Adaś.
If you don't have anything smart to say, keep your mouth shut.
You're annoying.
Thirteen, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.
Twenty.
Men.
Mariusz?
Sławek?
Sławek!
Jesus Christ, Sławek.
Holy fuck.
-Sit down, here. -What?!
Sit him down.
-Sit! -What?
-Here, sit down. -Oh, fuck!
Jesus, man, you have no… We need to… wrap it somehow.
All right, hold it. There.
Jesus, no!
No, no, no…
That's it, we're going back. You hear me?
I'm calling an ambulance.
But aren't we closer to the camp now?
-What? I don't know. -Same distance. Maybe closer.
-Sławcio! -Hello?
Officer Adamiec from Baranowo speaking.
We have a colleague here with two severed hands--
To the camp Adrenaline.
-Yes, to the camp. -Stay awake.
To the camp called "Adrenaline."
Yes, thank you.
-Okay, ambulance is coming. -Quick, pick him up.
-Help him. -Okay, let's go.
-Here, help your brother! -Here, quick.
And up.
-Where is Mariusz? Where is he? -I'm here.
Take them, maybe they'll sew them back on.
There it is!
Hold on, brother. Soon you'll be in the hospital.
Hello?
Oh, fuck!
Now what?
What are we gonna do?
Hush! Let me think.
"Think"? My brother is dying!
I know! Fuck.
There should be a first aid kit. With a red cross on it.
Shut up!
I'm the only person here who knows what to do.
So do something about my brother.
-Hold on, brother. -Shut your mouth!
I'm talking to my brother!
-What was that? -Back to the cabin, quick!
Get inside the cabin! Open it!
Fuck!
There! Put him over there.
Here.
Careful.
Here.
Hold on, brother, you'll make it. You have my word. Just hold on.
Quick! Put something under his head.
Let's lay him down.
Yeah.
Adaś.
Careful.
What was that? What did you see?
Adaś!
It was her. That girl, Zosia.
But she looked like…
Like…
Like what?
Like the fat guys in the cell.
And…
And what?
I don't know.
Hold it.
Janeczka?
Wanessa!
What are you doing here?
Adaś…
Listen, I was with Oliwier.
Suddenly, the light went out and he went to check.
And I heard something like…
I don't know what the hell it was.
I got scared and I didn't know what to do.
I got into this closet and I've been here for an hour.
Hi, Mariusz.
Hello, Janeczka.
Sławek?
He's not breathing.
Sławek?
Sławcio.
-I'm taking Sławek home. -What do you mean, home?
-In the ambulance. -You're not.
Nobody goes out. Let's wait for the cavalry.
What cavalry?
Special forces are coming from the capital.
I was just thinking we should call the police.
But you're the police, so who would we call?
They're coming late or in the morning.
-Waiting makes no sense. -Nothing does!
-I'm going back. Adaś, help me. -You can't go!
We have to finish what we started.
Finish what? My brother is fucking dead!
Who's to blame for that? Don't you want to kill her?
We're armed and trained.
-We have the advantage. -So far we don't.
What advantage?
Let's barricade ourselves and sit tight till morning.
-Fine policeman you are. -Responsible--
Not responsible, you're a pussy!
Okay, I'm off.
-No! -You're not going anywhere.
-Don't tell me what to do! -I'm the police. Stop that nonsense.
-Crybabies, both of you. -Guys, let's not fight, okay?
How about we mind our own business?
How about we listen to the highest-ranked officer?
Please, you're just a senior constable!
We need to speak with one voice.
We need to agree during a crisis.
-Rise above any division, understand? -Exactly.
-Look, what a smart-ass whore. -Hey!
Don't call me a smart-ass!
-I call things what they are. -I'm not a thing.
I am a whore, but a liberated one.
And you? Who are you?
A Polish patriot,
with a swastika on your chest.
-Moron. -I may be a moron…
But at least I don't have HIV!
I don't have HIV.
And you have a small dick!
-What did you say? -You heard me.
Stop it, all of you!
No!
No! Come on!
People!
What are you doing?
To survive, we have to stick together.
Janeczka is 100% right about that.
If we get divided, if we split up,
if everyone goes their own way, one left, one right,
you take the ambulance, you who knows what, then…
we will all die!
-Show some… -Manners!
Empathy, that's it.
Empathy.
All right, I'm sorry.
Me too. It's actually not that small.
Sorry.
Well, I'm sorry too.
And…
from now on we stay together, yes?
We are here. Ambulance is here. Here is the big tree. Here, the tents.
Here's the plan.
We take strategic positions.
Me by the cafeteria. Adaś, on top of the ambulance.
Mariusz, you go inside the tent. We lay low. And wait.
These are good vantage points.
We wait, with the bait in the middle, in full view.
Classic police setup.
And when that bitch appears,
the bait takes cover and we catch her in the crossfire.
And that's it, case closed.
I know, you'd rather hide and wait for rescue like a pussy.
-And if she doesn't come? -She will.
How do you know?
I can feel it. Cop's hunch, okay?
Trust me, it will work.
So I'm here, Adaś there.
You here.
Crossfire.
But who will be the bait?
No.
No, out of the question.
Over my dead body.
Sorry, that was me!
Janeczka.
Where are you going?
I can't see Mariusz.
Stay where you are.
Shut up! Go back to your position.
Wanessa!
Mariusz!
Wanessa!
-What are you doing? -Leave it!
-Don't shoot blindly! -Let's chase her!
-Let me go! What are you doing? Prick! -That's it!
Didn't I fucking say to barricade ourselves and sit tight?
No one ever fucking listens to me.
Why? "Adaś? That pussy doesn't know shit."
"A cop's hunch"? "Police setup"?
There goes your setup!
Janeczka and Mariusz, fuck!
Mariusz is dead too?
If he weren't, he would help us somehow.
He'd fucking react, open fire.
You are just… all talk.
A hothead. A cobra in a skirt.
The Messiah of the Polish Police. What did it get us?
-Fucking nothing! -Stop yelling at me already!
Everybody is dead. Don't you understand? And we're next!
I'm sorry.
All right, I'm sorry too.
The thing is, I'd like to live a bit longer.
And for you to live also.
Okay?
Okay.
We can't do that.
We have to be more fucking reasonable, okay?
I'm sorry.
Hi.
What is happening to me?
How come I know how to speak this language?
I will explain everything to you.
Officer Kowalczyk here, over.
Do you copy?
Come in at once, I'm fucking begging you!
Sgt. Waldek is dead, everybody is dead.
Can anyone fucking hear me?
It was a piece of the Moon
that once fell from the sky.
Its element of Evil oozed from the rock
and went inside me.
And now it's also inside you.
That's more or less what happened.
Now we are the bad guys.
We are monsters.
We kill people.
Wow.
And why do we kill?
Well, because we are monsters.
That's not really
a complex motivation.
That's our nature.
Instinct.
With every minute you'll feel it and understand it more.
And you will rediscover yourself.
It's cool, you will see.
Besides, Evil is a subjective notion.
People are evil.
They have it ingrained in their nature.
Their species should have been annihilated ages ago.
And we
will fix that and kill them.
Because we both hate people.
But…
they can't all be evil.
The world is a good place too.
The world?
Was the world ever good to you?
It wasn't good to me.
Are you okay?
I think so.
And now…
do I also have your strength?
Do I have any special powers?
So…
what now?
What now? We go out and kill.
But…
just anyone?
Can we…
choose someone?
If you want to kill someone specific, that's great.
How was it?
Awesome.
First, he got a glimpse of me,
then he turned around.
And I was already gone.
He'll never know if it was his imagination or not.
Just like you wanted, right?
So, you like it?
Yeah.
You see?
I told you,
with every minute you'll feel it more and more.
Instinct.
Yeah, it's cool we are the bad guys now,
and that we do what we do.
And that we can build up some suspense first.
Scare them a bit.
Sure we can.
I even thought
about roaring in some spooky way,
but somehow I didn't manage to.
Like this?
Exactly.
More from your belly.
You'll get there.
Okay, let's go and kill that bastard!
He deserves it.
What did he do?
He is a bad man.
A real, genuine dickhead.
So we should rip his head off or something.
How do you want to kill him?
Maybe with a knife.
Classic style.
That's cool too.
All right. Let's cut off his electricity.
Quiet! Hush.
Wait.
The closet!
As soon as he looks in the closet,
we jump out on him.
And if he doesn't?
He will. They always do.
We just need to…
There!
Fuck.
Jake, you whoring slut, shut up!
So how was…
my baptism of fire?
You are amazing.
So are you.
Can I ask you something?
Of course.
Why me?
Because…
as soon as
I saw you
for the first time,
I got this feeling…
that you and I…
are very much alike.
And later it turned out
to be true.
Basically, it was as if I saw myself in your eyes.
Thank you.
For what?
Well, mostly for…
For making me feel like I've finally found a place for myself in this world.
The doggy.
Kill it.
Come on…
Okay.
What's next?
We'll free the fatties, they might be useful.
We have a lot of work to do to launch
an apocalypse.
First here, locally, and then, who knows?
Come on.
Look, that's my office.
Come on.
Hey, get up.
You are free.
Why aren't they getting up?
I hate that bitch.
I'll take care of her.
Adaś, fuck!
Adaś!
No…
Kill her!
No!
Please!
I can't do it!
You have to kill her right now!
I can't!
Here, a souvenir.
Since you liked her so much.
I didn't like her.
It's not about that.
So what is it about?
Nothing.
Nothing?
You men
are all the same.
But I…
love you.
You don't!
If you did, you'd have killed her.
Don't say that.
You know what?
You are weak. A cheater and a liar.
Think about your behavior.
What are you talking about?
What did I do?
Subtitle translation by: Ewa Tyrala