A NETFLIX SERIES
Did you remember to hydrate? It's important to stay hydrated.
Yes, I did.
-Is there something in the air? -Mm-hmm.
Three liters?
Two.
-It's love. -No, seriously, can you smell it?
I can keep going if you want.
Aren't your knees hurting?
No, I've only been kneeling for three minutes. Maybe four.
Let's try going for seven.
Okay.
Everything okay?
Yes, I just need to pee.
Sorry, too much water!
Water, where's water?
I don't know, I drank it! Three liters!
That's plan B.
Plan B means we're going to jail.
Then let's maybe focus on plan A.
Any questions?
Mm-hmm.
Why did we meet up here?
Well, I thought it would be nice.
On the rooftop. Like old times.
Us three and the roof.
Ninth floor, no elevator.
Burning mountains, burning forests
The heart of the hood's weeping Through staircases we're creeping
Trembling hands, sweaty temples
I'm drowning in your arms
Today we disappear
You fucking hottie I will smash open a bottle
And scratch a heart into your door
In hotels or restaurants I'll make a flower out of a napkin
We can both cry into it
Burning mountains, burning huts…
Babes?
Peanut, haul your ass and get Babes some tea or some other beverage.
No, you won't finish it tomorrow, 'cause the launch is today!
I'm sorry, I tried, but…
Don't worry, you can go.
Problems with the launch?
No, lately everything goes surprisingly smoothly.
-Could be going better. -Is that so?
Yes.
I've come to ask for a job.
Interesting, since Monika was here,
and it didn't seem like you would work with me anymore.
I'm not Monika.
I, like you, am a rational person.
I can appreciate good decisions when I see them.
Removing us from heading the company was a good decision.
And it would be a good decision to hire me because I'm good.
As a programmer, not a boss.
Such a moment of clarity on the day of the launch? You'd like to come?
I don't care about the launch.
But in the meantime, I'd gladly clean up the old code.
I wrote some of it in a hurry.
You know what? Maybe we really aren't that different.
Fine, I'll get you a room
as your penance internship.
It'd be easier from the Sexify office.
Of course.
The fellas said, "Don't write or call. She'll come to you."
-And here you are. -Yeah.
Young Lad, it's true I'm coming to you because what bonded us was…
remarkable.
Three children.
That's how I see us.
You're not too old to have kids, huh?
I don't think so.
Fucking awesome!
But we can't be together.
What are you talking about?
Exactly.
-I met someone. -A TikToker!
No, not a TikToker.
And thank fuck, 'cause I hate them.
Right.
Come on, now I really wanna be with you.
Like never before. That's how it is.
You can't have something, you gotta have it.
Babes,
let me tell you…
I really fucking respect it.
That you came to me to tell me face-to-face.
Yes. That's exactly why I came.
Actually, I have one tiny favor to ask.
A break-up favor. Because of our shared past.
A break-up favor?
Yes, I'd like you
to give a concert at my party.
Two, three songs would do.
When is it?
Today.
Hey, guys
and girls,
listen.
-Have you heard about Young Juvenile? -Sure!
Oh. He's playing a free gig today. You just need to download an app
and answer a few questions.
Thank you, girls. That will be perfect.
Okay. So, what do you actually wanna do?
Get my company back.
By throwing a concert?
-Have you answered the questions? -Mm-hmm.
That app now knows more about my fetishes than my three exes.
All right. So, what is this about?
Jabba?
How'd you get in here?
With the tech crew.
Oh.
Luckily, I still had my costume from the World of Computers Con.
Mario?
Luigi.
I've always been different.
And I get nervous before public speeches 'cause I always fuck something up.
That's great. 'Cause that's the point.
To fuck something up.
Where is Natalia? At the office?
I was about to call the police to report you missing.
Sorry, I've had a lot on my plate lately.
Three days ago you wanted to reach the end of Instagram,
so that's progress.
Is it gonna be a bombshell?
Today we screw over Małgorzata.
I want you to know about it. You can't stop me.
Everything is ready.
Natalia is already at the office to apply our update to the app.
Wait, this is not the way to our office.
We're not going to Sexify.
Then where?
You'll see.
I want you to know that in a moment, we'll take over the launch,
and either Małgorzata agrees to our vision of Sexify, or…
NATALIA: I WON'T GET INTO THE OFFICE. SHE LIED TO ME.
You're not the only one dropping bombshells?
You still have access to our office?
No. Why?
Fucking hell.
What's going on?
You're right. We're not that different. We both have some trust issues.
Dear guests, Małgorzata Dębska of Sexify!
Dear ladies, I was supposed to represent Sexify at today's panel discussion,
but I have a surprise for you.
I'll be replaced by the mastermind behind this wonderful app,
the gal who knows everything about sex,
Natalia Dumała.
Come on.
DEEP INSIDE YOURSELF
We can begin.
I officially welcome you to the "Deep Inside Yourself" panel.
I've added one line at the end.
"Technology has never been this sexciting!"
Great, you're doing very well. Just drop that line.
Excuse me.
Will you be making a speech? Let's get you mic'd up.
Yeah.
Natalia can't enter the office to integrate the apps.
Game over.
Crap!
I don't have the nerves for it. I do not.
Asia, so what are your next steps?
You have hundreds of thousands of followers among young Polish women.
What can they expect in the coming months?
Next year, I have written a second book.
You've already written it? You've only just released the last one.
Yes. I've just used the manifestation method.
Talk about your plans as if they're already done.
I wrote about it in my book.
The one I wrote-wrote,
not the one I will have written.
Fucking hell.
Let's say I know something
that might help you win.
Some of the office computers are here.
You can't re-engineer the code for the app integration, huh?
Of course I can!
In a week. Only Natalia knows both codes inside and out.
There's one more option.
If Natalia gets close enough,
she can log into the building's Wi-Fi and get access to the company network.
Right.
But she'd have to get really close.
And apart from Natalia, we'd need an army of users.
Sexify was never the real goal.
That's why Małgorzata wanted to release it so quickly.
I know, it's about the image. "An app by women for woke women."
I'm gonna puke.
That too, but mainly it's about the data.
Data collected by Sexify is intimate,
making it a valuable asset on the consumer profiling market.
There are companies willing to pay,
great sums for what your app knows.
Is it legal?
That depends.
On what?
On whether you can afford lawyers who are paid a grand an hour.
Okay, I just found out the big shots are fucking us over
and getting away with it.
Sorry, Maks, but that's not that much of a shocker.
Don't go reading about palm oil.
Now, the most important thing.
Małgorzata sells most of the data to the Vertigo Funding Group.
Taking into account the forecasted number of Sexify users,
it could be a really big deal for them.
You know who Vertigo is trying to push out from the European market?
I do.
Cool of you to tell me now.
But…
you can make up for it.
I'm asking you the biggest favor one can do for someone else.
-Meaning? -Lend me your Matiz.
Yes, Jabba?
-Excuse me! -Yes?
Unfortunately, I have to cancel the concert.
Now that we've set it all up?
But I'll rent all of your equipment.
Forget it.
I could get you the equipment.
Natalia, let's talk about getting to know yourself in the context of sex.
PAULINA: GET TO THE WEB SUMMIT! QUICKLY!
What was the biggest challenge in creating an app about sex?
I think it was coding neural networks with dynamic nodes.
Or maybe coding parsers using data APIs, because the problem is that…
I'd probably say it was the nodes.
Uh-huh. Vanessa, you also do not shy away from the topic of sex in your workshops.
No.
That's our method for getting out of your comfort zone.
In the third step of the workshop,
we ask ourselves intimate questions, like, "the weirdest place you've had sex."
In a candle kiosk by the cemetery.
It was just me, Piotr Oleś and Sons.
I didn't plan it, but sometimes things are different from your plans.
And now excuse me, I have to…
have saved my app.
Did I say it right?
Yes.
Do you think it could work?
Meaning what?
This illegal party of yours.
Oh. I don't know.
But I know I have to try.
NEW CONCERT LOCATION
PAULINA: MACIEK, CHANGE OF PLANS. WE'LL BE THERE:
They've just changed the location.
-We're going to a secret party. -Again?
Tell you what, if I score three goals, you're going.
Sorry, I wanted to buy an entry pass.
-Sorry. Not gonna happen. -Why not?
I received instructions not to let you in.
No, you must have mistaken me for someone.
Natalia!
Excuse me.
That's two.
Three. You're doomed to party.
Hey, sorry.
Where's Babes?
Babes?
Yeah, um…
Monika, no?
Good question.
Hello, Ms. Monika. Your dad is out.
What? Why doesn't he pick up the phone?
It's Tuesday.
He skis without his phone. It distracts him.
Skiing on Tuesdays?
For fuck's sake, no wonder his business is crumbling.
Excuse me?
Nothing. Gossip.
Okay, I've got access to the screens in the main hall.
Fucking awesome.
Not really. Creep still hasn't given me access to Sexify's network.
Come on, Creep!
Okay. They're downstairs. It's our turn.
Fuck.
Jesus Christ! I'm sorry! Oh God.
Sorry for my friend.
When you see a sandwich girl, you just can't help yourself, huh?
Let's do this shit.
We just… I mean, we…
We'll win yet.
You'll see. I mean…
You'll see, ma'am.
It'll be safer this way.
No!
Not again!
That's right, Marek!
Now gain some speed. Don't be afraid.
That's right! Now left, Marek!
That's right! And now right, Marek!
Beautiful, you're a regular Alberto Tomba!
Monika? Hey!
I've got info on your competition.
But it'll cost you.
After tomorrow I'll be in the office, and we can talk about work then.
Dad, I'm begging you, cut the crap.
The first time things don't go right for you,
instead of facing it, you're skiing.
Or riding your bike. Or going to Rhodes.
Get a grip before something bad happens.
Like you lose your company.
It's fine.
You had a moment of weakness, and that's okay.
But your daughter's here to get you out of it.
Let's save a company.
Or two.
-You're coming onstage. -Me?
You'll help with the presentation.
Dear guests, I would like to welcome you very warmly
to the most important event of this year's Warsaw Web Summit.
To the incredible, wonderful launch of the Sexify app!
Those of you who know me, know very well
how important women's issues are to me.
That's why, as soon as I heard about the app…
-Hi! -Hi!
What's going on?
Unfortunately, our speechmaker friend didn't make it, so…
we will try.
But the gist of it is that we're launching the real Sexify.
Everyone, don't listen to them. This is some kind of joke.
Małgorzata, be quiet.
I mean… Please…
Please stay quiet.
Where's Young Juvenile?
Don't worry, Young Juvenile will perform for you in a moment.
What Young Juvenile?
-We're not talking to you. -The thing is, we're not here alone.
There's a crowd of people with us…
who we've invited here
to show you all, and you in particular, Małgorzata,
what we've been fighting for.
And I guess you did too.
Everyone in the parking lot has an app that was your entry ticket to our party.
And the answers you gave in it
will help our algorithm find you a sexual soulmate.
Sexual soulmate?
We need to work on the wording.
But the app is working.
And it's amazing.
It doesn't judge you, your looks, nor your character.
It doesn't encourage you to lie or show off.
It lets you be honest with yourselves about who you are
and find someone who's like you.
You can kill it, Małgorzata. But first, we'll show it to the world.
Rafał, give me access to the network.
But Rafał's not here, so maybe let's end this show…
And yet someone gave us access.
Launch the app!
SEXIFY DOWNLOADING DATA
HI, IT'S ME
Małgorzata, you screwed us over, and we screwed you over. We're even.
Today we played hard.
But if you believe in this project,
we could create a better world.
Can we do it together?
I do not negotiate with terrorists.
My answer is no.
-Plan B. -Are you sure?
Like never before.
No?
Fine then.
What is it? What did they do to the app?
I think they deleted it.
And you let them.
-You are… -A renegade.
No, you're fired.
These are not mutually exclusive.
Bitch
We have to call Monika.
What's up, party animals? Are you here?
Make some noise!
On the pedestal he is On the pedestal he is
Horse!
On the pedestal he is On the pedestal he is
Horse!
On the pedestal he is On the pedestal he is
Horse!
On the pedestal he is
-Horse! -On the pedestal he is
The skier has landed.
Is that some kind of code?
Yes and no.
Mom doesn't make me sandwiches Grown man, I take it and I pay
Swagger and fate under control I won't woo you with a green roll
Haven't watched porn in 20 years Those people ain't my peers
Sitting in the lounge Drinking moonshine
Although I've outgrown parties
What's new for you
Is vintage for me
Questions keep flowing His groggy eyes, he gets it going
I'm the first, who came second? Don't neigh baby, what you reckon?
-She asks… -Do you smoke?
Darling, the horse is Tabaluga's friend
Horse!
What were you thinking?
That you're at fucking school?
That you'll get a detention, and that's it?
You will never pay this off.
Don't have children or grandchildren.
Because they'll still be paying off your stunt.
But first, I promise, you will go to prison for it.
Hi.
This is my business partner, Marek.
And these are his lawyers.
Małgosia.
Małgosia, I really respect sporting competition.
As you can see from this image, can't you?
You remember me winning the business half-marathon?
In Baden-Baden.
Or was it Lausanne?
-Baden-Baden. -Baden. Yeah.
But it was fair.
Małgosia.
Fair competition according to Olympic spirit.
Without such foul play.
I can see the guys at Vertigo and you… are different.
You tried to trick me.
And to get your way, you used those nice girls.
Girls who only ever wanted to help their peers.
With sex.
Supposedly, young people have problems nowadays.
I read that testosterone levels in young people are falling drastically.
Very interesting article.
Antek, send it to Małgosia.
I will.
And now let's talk business.
Let me tell you
my proposal, Małgosia.
First of all, you'll drop those dumb ideas about selling data.
Second of all,
you won't reactivate the Sexify app.
May it rest in peace.
In exchange, my people and I
will forget about the whole thing.
What do you think?
I have my own lawyers, Marek.
Then bring them in here.
Let them wrestle.
I have some money for good lawyers,
and you have some money for good lawyers.
You've got friends in the press,
and I've got friends in the press.
You know people at various ministries, and I do too.
And that's what we're talking about.
That's fair, sporting rivalry.
Except with that balance of power, un-fucking-fortunately,
the one who is right, wins.
Gosia,
I'm not saying that selling sensitive data
from an app aimed at teenagers
to a shady corporation financed by an Eastern dictator
cannot be swept under the carpet.
But it won't be…
when you've messed with someone in your own league.
And who did you mess with?
Kasia?
Mr. Nowicki.
Yeah. So, what it'll be?
Are we going to war?
All right, let's do it your way.
Excellent.
Down with post-truth!
Am I right?
But that's not all.
Today's stunt of my associate and her business partners.
Let's forget about it. Huh?
Why should we intimidate each other with debts and… damages?
One day, we'll all laugh about it.
And how's your Robert? Did he get his hip replacement?
Fuck you, Marek.
Jeez.
All right.
Well, we didn't make millions.
But we saved millions from Sexiguy Men by Rafał and Grzegorz.
Yeah, but in the end, Małgorzata was right.
This is a game for big-shot ladies and gents in private jets,
not in trams.
Hey, but we did save my father, just like he saved us.
A fair deal.
Go, small potatoes.
So, what now, potatoes?
From what I've learned, things get clearer at an after-party.
You did a fucking awesome job. Really.
I hereby declare you its boss.
The late Sexify deserves a nice farewell.
Count me out, 'cause I need to finally get some sleep, but ladies, thank you.
For everything.
And I love you.
Wow.
It's a good strategy not to ever say such things, 'cause when you do,
it makes some fucking impact.
I'm going.
Go.
In front of me Are all the creatures I like
The small ones Happy ones, big ones
With panache, style, and chill
Those crazy kids who climb up the hill
I'm an animalist, you're my canvas
I make images, roll my heart in a joint
Young Sarmatian, tender at gunpoint
Listen up to the young stallion Check out his tunes, his moves
He's in your head Pull off your push-up
And move it, move it
It's the young stallion Listen up
Check out his tunes, his moves He's in your head
Pull off your push-up And move it, move it
The young stallion
I ride around with this tune
The meter shows zero Then two hundred
Foot, gas, foot, gas, SpaceX
Foot, gas, foot, gas, racer
The young Sarmatian is always fun We roll it hard, so you better run
We're doing shots, I am Top Gun Fly away with you, Pac-Man will get us
Now bow your head to the Sarmatian
After today, I have one question in my mind.
-Yeah? -Where is my Matiz?
I'm afraid it's been towed.
But don't worry, I'll buy us a new one.
I still have a fifty in my wallet.
I'm not sure if they'll have any change.
Wait, you said "us"?
Yes.
Thank you for what you did today.
For me.
But I didn't do it for you.
No?
I did it for myself.
You taught me to break windows and…
damn it, I liked it.
I've become a renegade.
Hold on… What are you trying to say about us?
Listen, Monika.
Our sex… Excellent.
It's really in my top seven, definitely.
But…
we're not a good match.
You know it, I know it.
It's not like the first guy you see as a real person
has to become your partner.
I know that our gender has a bad rep, but…
if you start giving us a chance, maybe you'll get something out of it.
I can't believe it. The donkey from Shrek blew off the dragon.
What is that? I didn't see it.
Juvenile!
Juvenile…
They'll remember about us.
Hey.
I thought I should give you your keys back.
Thanks.
I finally managed to get to your launch.
Oh. You've seen one launch, you've seen them all.
Fail like always.
This one went better, huh?
That's true.
Nobody can take that away from us.
That's good.
That our failures are becoming more and more spectacular?
No.
That you can start from scratch.
Having learned from your mistakes.
Want to watch something?
What do you want to watch?
TV.
There's never anything on TV.
That's good.
…and open tunnels dug in the tuff by the Etruscans in the Bronze Age.
Etruscans. What a remarkable civilization.
I know nothing about the Etruscans.
-…botany, astronomy… -Shame.
…it would take a long time to list fields of science in which…
You're beautiful.
I'm going to the shop. Want something?
Coffee.