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Basic principles:
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No woman wakes up saying:
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"God, I hope I don't get
swept off my feet today."
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Now, she might say...
"This is a really bad time for me."
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Or... something like...
"I just need some space."
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00:01:08,003 --> 00:01:10,254
Or, my personal favorite:
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00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:13,468
"I'm really into my career right now."
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You believe that?
Neither does she.
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You know why?
Because she's lyin' to you. That's why.
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You understand me? Lyin'.
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It's not a bad time for 'er.
She doesn't need any space.
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And she may be into her career,
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but what she's really saying is, uh,
"Get away from me now."
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Or, possibly, "Try harder, stupid."
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Well, which one is it?
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60% of all human communication
is nonverbal.
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Body language.
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30% is your tone.
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So that means that
90% of what you're sayin'...
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ain't comin' outta your mouth.
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Toby! Toby!
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Shit!
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Of course she's gonna lie to you.
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She's a nice person,
she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings...
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What else she gonna say?
She doesn't even know you.
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Yet.
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Luckily, the fact is that,
just like the rest of us,
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even a beautiful woman doesn't know
what she wants until she sees it.
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And that's where I come in.
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My job... is to open her eyes.
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Toby!
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Oh, my God!
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Is this what you're looking for?
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Basic principles: No matter what,
no matter when, no matter who...
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any man has a chance
to sweep any woman off her feet.
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Just needs the right broom.
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You cannot use
what you do not have.
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So, if you're shy, be shy.
If you're outgoing, be outgoing.
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00:03:03,843 --> 00:03:06,074
- I'm not outgoing.
- That's okay.
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00:03:06,449 --> 00:03:09,871
Now, she may not want the whole truth,
but she does want the real you.
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She may not wanna see it all at once,
but she does want to see it.
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So, tonight, when you're wondering
what to say,
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or... how you look,
or whether or not she likes you,
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just remember,
she is already out with you.
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That means... she said yes
when she could've said no.
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That means she made a plan,
when she could've just blown you off.
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00:03:30,228 --> 00:03:33,937
So, that means it is no longer your job
to try to make her like you.
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It is your job
not to mess it up.
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Huh?!
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Huh?
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Huh?
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Shoes are hot.
You went to the place I told you, right?
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Yeah, but... I don't...
I don't think they're really me.
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"You"... is a very fluid concept
right now.
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You bought the shoes.
You look great in the shoes.
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That's the you that
I'm talking about.
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Now, the key tonight
is hang back.
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Give 'er plenty o' space.
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If she lingers at a photograph,
move on.
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But maintain the visual.
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All right, now. It's supposed
to be 64 and clear tonight.
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So when you leave the club,
walk a little.
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Ask her what she thought
about the show,
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what was her favorite photograph,
why that one.
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And when she answers,
don't be looking at her mouth.
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Don't be wondering
what she looks like naked.
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Listen to what she is saying
and respond.
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Listen and respond...
Listen and respond...
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That way,
when it's your turn to talk,
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you'll have something better
to say than "I like your mouth."
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What was your favorite one?
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The, uh, elephant, definitely, yeah.
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And all of a sudden,
we're on date number two.
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Ready.
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No way.
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We're going back in there.
You have to smile.
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00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:14,579
In case you didn't go to high school,
hitting is a good thing.
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00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:17,453
So, how does it happen...
great love?
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00:05:17,707 --> 00:05:18,545
Are you okay?
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00:05:18,748 --> 00:05:20,260
- Nobody knows.
- I'm good.
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00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:23,588
Uh, let me get a Bomb Pop
and a Screwball for the lady.
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But what I can tell you is that
it happens in the blink of an eye.
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One moment,
you're enjoying your life.
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And the next, you wondering
how you ever lived without them.
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Three dates is all I need.
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Three dates and I'll get you here,
to the high-stakes medal round...
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where eight out of 10 women
believe that the first kiss
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will tell them everything
they need to know about the relationship.
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00:06:22,189 --> 00:06:24,618
After that...
you're on your own.
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00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,623
But always remember...
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life is not
the amount of breaths you take.
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It's the moments
that take your breath away.
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Did I call it or did I call it?
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I mean,
what did I say, six months?
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And when was her first date?
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So, five and a half?
God, I hate it when I'm right.
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I mean, what is it about guys that makes 'em
wanna screw anything that walks,
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even when they're going out
with someone as awesome as Allegra Cole?
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I mean, she's only the single
most fabulous thing walking around New York.
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Thanks, Young.
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Are you kidding?
Of course I'm gonna run it.
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Why should she waste her heart
on some Swedish aristo-brat?
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Even if he is... gorgeous.
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Hey, if he's stupid enough to cheat,
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then the world should know
he's dumb enough to get caught.
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Exactly. I'm in the elevator.
I'll see you in a minute.
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Good morning. How are you?
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Bitter, party of one.
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Hey, you should try it sometime.
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Barbados by myself?
I wouldn't last five minutes.
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It was just
what the doctor ordered.
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I slept in, I did my yoga,
I read a couple of books,
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I flirted with my scuba instructor....
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- And apparently never left the office.
- I know, isn't that great?
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You should've taken someone with you.
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Who?
Who am I gonna take with me?
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This is where a boyfriend comes in handy.
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- I don't have time for a boyfriend.
- You said that two years ago.
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Yes, and it's as true today as it was then.
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- Hey!
- Hey.
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I thought you were on vacation.
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See if these are in focus, will you,
and have them in my desk in an hour?
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Cool.
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Besides,
relationships are for people...
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that are just waiting for
something better to come along.
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Ah, spoken like a true cynic.
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I'm not a cynic. I'm a realist.
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You are a realist masquerading as a cynic
who is secretly an optimist.
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What are you doing here?
What is she doing here?
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She works here, remember?
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No, she doesn't.
Not for another four days.
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- Well, this couldn't wait.
- Oh, course it could.
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What are you doing?
Go back to the beach.
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- I don't want you here.
- Oh, no, really, you do.
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You are becoming
a-a sick, workaholic lunatic
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and this is exactly...
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the kind of nervous,
overwrought behavior that leads to...
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Pictures of Sebby
with a busty brunette.
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A very, very big raise.
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Jesus!
You could find dirt in a snowstorm.
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Comes with the job.
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You know, kiddo, there is more to life
than watching other people live it.
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Can I help
he was cheating on my beach?
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Hey, I think that it's great
that you're so good at your job.
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I'm just a little worried as to why.
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Let me worry about that.
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Okay. I want that column
on my desk by lunch.
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00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,195
Does that mean
you're gonna pay for my hotel?
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For you to sip mai tais?
I don't think so. Get out.
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- Oh, come on!
- What?
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- That's good, right?
- No.
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No, it was in
and it freaked out.
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You know what your problem is, Hitch?
You're all about the short game.
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You pick your shots
based on what you see first...
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not what's, uh,
necessarily best for you...
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in the long run.
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Well... All of us are not married to the woman
of our dreams and about to have a baby.
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You know, I'm very happy for you.
Just not meant for everybody.
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So, please, just leave me
to my hot, sweaty,
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totally varied, wildly experimental
short game.
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I was just talking about pool,
but, you know, whatever.
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Yeah, okay.
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Honestly, I just hope one day
you're able to experience
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the unconditional love, and the trust,
and the openness that...
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you know, I share with Grace
every single day.
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- Is-is this really barroom talk?
- No, you need to listen to me, man. I'm serious.
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Because when you... get to a place
with a woman like that,
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it's so beyond anything physical...
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that when I think back to
when I used to run around with you
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and chase all these really gorgeous
but, you know, shallow women and...
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I don't know, it's... it's
kind of ridiculous and vaguely... pathetic.
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Yeah, I see what you mean.
That's pathetic.
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- That... that's pathetic.
- Uh-huh.
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So, how'd you meet 'im?
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I was in La Perla, you know,
just buying some weekend thongs.
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- And he was doing likewise?
- No.
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00:10:52,555 --> 00:10:55,176
Well, yeah. Actually, he said
he was buying somethin' for his mom.
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- His mom?
- Mm-hm.
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Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie
for their mother?
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00:10:59,387 --> 00:11:01,259
Oh, well, maybe
he was looking for a robe.
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00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:06,013
Casey... Casey, he was hitting on you while
he was buying lingerie for another woman.
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00:11:06,348 --> 00:11:11,434
- Well... I prefer the mother story.
- I know you prefer, but that's not the point.
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00:11:11,434 --> 00:11:14,484
No, the point is I'm not gonna start out
assuming the guy's a liar.
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00:11:14,856 --> 00:11:16,997
- Why not?
- Because that's how you wind up...
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00:11:18,657 --> 00:11:20,444
Like me?
Is that what you were gonna say?
187
00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:23,571
No. I was gonna say "Like you."
188
00:11:23,870 --> 00:11:26,000
- What's his name?
- Why?
189
00:11:26,421 --> 00:11:28,668
- I'm gonna Google 'im.
- No. Google your own guy.
190
00:11:28,668 --> 00:11:30,508
Let's just see
if his mother's still alive.
191
00:11:30,508 --> 00:11:33,752
- So when is Grace due again?
- Soon.
192
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,512
- You excited?
- What'd you say?
193
00:11:37,299 --> 00:11:38,975
Do you want me to go get them
and bring them over here?
194
00:11:38,975 --> 00:11:40,962
No. No, no, no, no,
don't-don't-don't do that.
195
00:11:40,962 --> 00:11:43,252
Whoa! Are you saying
you don't wanna talk to them
196
00:11:43,252 --> 00:11:44,899
because you can't go home
with 'em?
197
00:11:44,899 --> 00:11:47,438
Hey, what do you want from me?
I'm just trying to keep my head above water.
198
00:11:47,438 --> 00:11:49,654
Hey, did you ever hear of this guy
they call the Date Doctor?
199
00:11:49,654 --> 00:11:50,226
Urban myth.
200
00:11:50,226 --> 00:11:51,603
- Really?
- Absolutely.
201
00:11:51,683 --> 00:11:53,407
I was kinda hoping
he also helped women.
202
00:11:53,407 --> 00:11:56,523
Casey, you're not sick.
You're single.
203
00:11:56,523 --> 00:11:59,109
You just have to relax
and enjoy the ride.
204
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:01,166
I haven't been ridden in months.
205
00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:09,580
On that happy note, I'm gonna go see
if anybody interesting came in tonight.
206
00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:12,002
- Oh, you mean, besides me.
- Right.
207
00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:13,128
Bye.
208
00:12:13,411 --> 00:12:15,212
I'm gonna go get those girls,
I'm gonna bring them over here
209
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:18,266
and we're gonna have a conversation
like human beings.
210
00:12:18,394 --> 00:12:21,770
Then you're gonna home,
and I'm gonna take 'em back to my apartment.
211
00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:26,717
Well, that sounds like fun for me.
But, you know, you might wanna get in line, pal.
212
00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:30,021
- Hey, girl. Hey.
- Hey, how are you?
213
00:12:31,645 --> 00:12:35,484
Hey, uh, baby, can I get a couple Coronas
over at the pool table, please? Thanks.
214
00:12:36,091 --> 00:12:37,576
Excuse me.
215
00:12:38,942 --> 00:12:41,605
- Excuse me.
- Lime wedges in the bottle's fine.
216
00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:43,916
Hey, asshole, I don't work here.
217
00:12:46,405 --> 00:12:51,416
Wow. Oh... I'm sorry. You, um...
The paramedics are gonna have
218
00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:53,345
to come to get my foot
outta my mouth, sweetheart.
219
00:12:53,345 --> 00:12:55,291
Just don't let it happen again.
220
00:12:55,878 --> 00:12:58,502
- I knew you didn't work here.
- You did?
221
00:12:58,934 --> 00:13:01,630
Well, how else was I supposed
to get you away from all those guys?
222
00:13:03,084 --> 00:13:04,883
Why would you wanna do that?
223
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:09,148
Some guys naturally develop a comfort
with the opposite sex.
224
00:13:09,148 --> 00:13:12,765
They like women, women like them.
Everything flows naturally.
225
00:13:14,022 --> 00:13:17,898
Back in college,
I was just not one of 'em.
226
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:24,541
I seemed to lack
the basic understanding
227
00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:27,580
that my peers
just intuitively grasped.
228
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:32,261
But like any late bloomer,
I was eager to make up for lost time.
229
00:13:35,255 --> 00:13:38,214
Her name... was Cressida Baylor.
230
00:13:39,214 --> 00:13:41,192
Can you tell me
where the registration building is?
231
00:13:42,675 --> 00:13:43,338
Yeah.
232
00:13:46,027 --> 00:13:48,277
And my life would never be the same.
233
00:13:48,277 --> 00:13:51,062
- I'm Alex.
- Cressida.
234
00:13:54,306 --> 00:13:56,768
What we had was beautiful.
235
00:14:02,577 --> 00:14:03,693
I love you.
236
00:14:06,748 --> 00:14:08,715
I love... I love so much.
237
00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,285
I-I love you, too, Alex.
238
00:14:17,759 --> 00:14:20,318
I know you don't love me
as much as I love you.
239
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:24,418
I mean, but that's okay. I...
I'm just glad you love me at all.
240
00:14:24,418 --> 00:14:28,188
In retrospect, I guess
I may have come on a little strong.
241
00:14:32,399 --> 00:14:34,636
But the experience taught me a lot.
242
00:14:34,943 --> 00:14:36,032
Cressida!
243
00:14:40,115 --> 00:14:40,931
What are you doin'?
244
00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:42,899
I'm-I'm sorry, Alex.
245
00:14:42,899 --> 00:14:47,135
But I love you. I love you. What just...
What did I do wrong? Just tell me what I did wrong.
246
00:14:47,135 --> 00:14:49,315
Dude, you're doin' it right now.
247
00:14:49,316 --> 00:14:50,377
Cressida!
248
00:14:51,092 --> 00:14:52,363
Alex, I'm sorry.
249
00:14:56,297 --> 00:15:00,332
And it's an education
I feel obliged to pass on to my fellow men.
250
00:15:04,301 --> 00:15:08,536
Because with no guile and no game,
there's no girl.
251
00:15:09,718 --> 00:15:12,023
And if ever there was
a man born without game,
252
00:15:12,936 --> 00:15:15,098
it was Albert Brennaman.
253
00:15:40,742 --> 00:15:45,507
My business is 100% referral
and, thus far, untraceable.
254
00:15:45,647 --> 00:15:47,102
And if there's one thing
I've learned
255
00:15:47,102 --> 00:15:50,549
when you orchestrate, coordinate,
and otherwise mess with fate...
256
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:53,308
it's best to fly under the radar.
257
00:16:31,993 --> 00:16:34,303
I hope she's single
cause I don't do break-ups.
258
00:16:34,303 --> 00:16:34,982
- Hi.
- Hey.
259
00:16:34,982 --> 00:16:36,219
Thank you for seeing me.
260
00:16:36,427 --> 00:16:39,765
Uh, yeah, no. I mean, uh,
she just got out of a relationship.
261
00:16:40,502 --> 00:16:43,268
Is that a problem?
Because... if it is, that's fine. I'm...
262
00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:45,642
I'm a little uncomfortable with this anyway,
you know what I mean.
263
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:50,108
Definitely... been hurt a lot. You know,
I had a lot o' bad experiences.
264
00:16:50,108 --> 00:16:52,782
Some good ones. You know?
But definitely a lot of bad ones and, uh...
265
00:16:54,582 --> 00:16:58,575
I'm desperate. Basically.
I mean, not in general, you understand?
266
00:16:58,575 --> 00:17:02,660
You know, not just for anybody.
But, man, for her... Yeah. I.. I... yeah. Yeah.
267
00:17:02,991 --> 00:17:04,289
Why don't you tell me about 'er?
268
00:17:06,378 --> 00:17:07,918
Oh, well, let's see, what can I say?
269
00:17:08,930 --> 00:17:11,915
My company handles her finances.
I'm her tax consultant.
270
00:17:11,915 --> 00:17:15,634
Well, I'm one of 'em.
I'm the junior man on the account.
271
00:17:16,571 --> 00:17:18,986
- So, does she know you're interested?
- Oh, no, no, no.
272
00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:21,895
No.
273
00:17:23,177 --> 00:17:24,190
Alive?
274
00:17:25,413 --> 00:17:26,972
I lent her my pen once.
275
00:17:26,972 --> 00:17:28,854
Shoot. Does anyone have a pen?
276
00:17:28,854 --> 00:17:33,083
- Here, take mine.
- Albert, you're crushing my arm.
277
00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:34,654
Sorry about that.
Here you go, Allegra.
278
00:17:38,953 --> 00:17:41,700
Allegra? As in Allegra Cole?
279
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:44,534
Yeah, you know, I realize
that I'm not her usual type.
280
00:17:44,534 --> 00:17:48,379
Well, her last boyfriend like
owned Sweden or something.
281
00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:49,794
And that guy was a bum. I-I...
282
00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:53,002
He just... he didn't seem like
a very nice person to me.
283
00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,425
You swing for the fence.
284
00:17:56,911 --> 00:17:59,844
Hey, look, look, look, look, look. You don't think
I tried talking myself out of this?
285
00:17:59,844 --> 00:18:03,932
I mean, you don't think I know
how ridiculous this is? I-I know, okay?
286
00:18:03,932 --> 00:18:06,637
I just thought that
maybe, uh, with your... help I just...
287
00:18:09,891 --> 00:18:13,813
You know what?
I'm really sorry I... wasted your time.
288
00:18:25,306 --> 00:18:26,844
Hold on a second, Albert.
289
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:33,764
You know what it's like...
getting up every morning, feeling hopeless?
290
00:18:34,215 --> 00:18:37,389
Feeling like the love o' your life
is waking up with the wrong man?
291
00:18:37,819 --> 00:18:41,931
But at the same time,
hoping that... she still finds happiness...
292
00:18:43,224 --> 00:18:44,857
even if it's never gonna be with you?
293
00:18:47,428 --> 00:18:50,030
You... are flat-out...
294
00:18:51,099 --> 00:18:54,185
out o' your mind. You know that?
295
00:18:54,531 --> 00:18:55,566
Yeah.
296
00:18:57,959 --> 00:19:01,255
- That's good.
- It is?
297
00:19:02,844 --> 00:19:04,409
You ever heard of Michelangelo?
298
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,496
- Yeah.
- Heard of the Sistine Chapel?
299
00:19:06,496 --> 00:19:07,287
Yeah...
300
00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:10,051
Michelangelo.
301
00:19:11,486 --> 00:19:12,793
Sistine Chapel.
302
00:19:13,287 --> 00:19:14,718
You saying you can do this?
303
00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:18,174
My name is Alex Hitchens.
Let's go paint that ceiling.
304
00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,246
Take it easy.
305
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:52,043
Oh, my God!
306
00:19:52,748 --> 00:19:53,290
Oh, God!
307
00:20:38,372 --> 00:20:40,631
Well, it looks like I'm still rich.
308
00:20:44,545 --> 00:20:48,559
But what I would really like,
and what I was wondering... is...
309
00:20:50,184 --> 00:20:54,202
if I could have 500,000 dollars...
to invest on my own.
310
00:20:55,110 --> 00:21:00,353
Oh... And what were you thinking
of investing in, Allegra?
311
00:21:01,863 --> 00:21:06,825
Well, it's... something
that I really have a passion for.
312
00:21:12,534 --> 00:21:14,914
Daydreams are for private time.
313
00:21:15,243 --> 00:21:17,081
When you're in the room,
be in the room.
314
00:21:17,081 --> 00:21:20,919
Concentrate. Focus.
Women respond when you respond to them.
315
00:21:20,919 --> 00:21:23,967
My friend Maggie is
a really talented designer.
316
00:21:24,719 --> 00:21:29,019
I've seen the business plan
and the samples look fantastic.
317
00:21:29,928 --> 00:21:34,265
And I would really... really like
to get involved.
318
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:39,940
I'll tell you what.
319
00:21:40,402 --> 00:21:45,076
Let us come up with a range of investments
that we think you might be interested in...
320
00:21:45,406 --> 00:21:49,577
and next month, we'll run
the whole lot of them by you. Hm?
321
00:21:51,988 --> 00:21:55,548
- Okay.
- Fine. Thank you. All right, gentlemen.
322
00:21:56,284 --> 00:21:58,639
Let's go over this one more time.
What is the objective?
323
00:21:58,986 --> 00:22:00,137
Shock and awe.
324
00:22:00,137 --> 00:22:03,292
That was shockingly awful.
What is the objective?
325
00:22:03,292 --> 00:22:04,467
Shock and awe.
326
00:22:04,467 --> 00:22:07,174
What is the objective?!
327
00:22:07,995 --> 00:22:10,803
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes, Albert?
328
00:22:14,772 --> 00:22:16,678
Yes... Albert?
329
00:22:18,272 --> 00:22:21,814
I don't, uh-uh,
really agree... with that. Um...
330
00:22:21,814 --> 00:22:24,031
You don't really agree with what?
331
00:22:30,985 --> 00:22:33,622
I think if you wanna invest
half a million dollars in your friend's business...
332
00:22:34,409 --> 00:22:36,294
- that's exactly what you should do.
- Albert!
333
00:22:36,294 --> 00:22:38,621
No... You-you don't need us
to tell you what to do.
334
00:22:39,026 --> 00:22:41,849
We're a board of advisors,
we're not your kindergarten teachers.
335
00:22:42,196 --> 00:22:44,164
If you wanna be taken seriously
as an adult...
336
00:22:44,532 --> 00:22:46,629
I suggest you start
taking yourself seriously as an adult
337
00:22:46,629 --> 00:22:49,593
instead... of asking for permission
to invest your own money
338
00:22:49,593 --> 00:22:52,386
from a boardroom
full of your... daddy's golf buddies.
339
00:22:52,386 --> 00:22:54,435
- That's quite enough!
- You know, I'm not finished.
340
00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:58,651
I mean, I'd like to see anybody in this room
handle the attention and publicity...
341
00:22:59,146 --> 00:23:02,107
that she's had to deal with her whole life,
with half her class.
342
00:23:04,954 --> 00:23:09,029
We should be taking advice from you,
Miss Cole. Not the other way around.
343
00:23:09,029 --> 00:23:11,321
- Sit down, mister...
- No! You know what? I quit!
344
00:23:22,497 --> 00:23:23,580
Oh, my God!
345
00:23:34,015 --> 00:23:36,390
Just breathe. Just breathe.
How'd it go?
346
00:23:36,390 --> 00:23:39,698
I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss!
I quit my job!
347
00:23:40,922 --> 00:23:42,156
- What?!
- You said...
348
00:23:43,057 --> 00:23:44,834
- I gotta go back.
- No, I didn't tell you to quit.
349
00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:47,481
Relax. Okay, listen,
we're fine, we're fine. Okay?
350
00:23:47,595 --> 00:23:49,517
- Would you let me go?
- Albert, no, no!
351
00:23:51,432 --> 00:23:54,324
Just relax! Okay?
352
00:23:54,581 --> 00:23:57,842
- Just let it marinate for a second. Trust me.
- No!
353
00:24:08,516 --> 00:24:10,210
Relax. Relax.
354
00:24:10,685 --> 00:24:12,634
- It's Allegra Cole.
- Answer it.
355
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,433
- Could I speak to you a second?
- Answer the door, Albert.
356
00:24:20,691 --> 00:24:21,767
Yes. Hi.
357
00:24:22,964 --> 00:24:24,018
What's up?
358
00:24:24,573 --> 00:24:25,938
Listen... Albert, right?
359
00:24:27,311 --> 00:24:32,372
- People... don't usually talk to me like that. Okay?
- Close your mouth, man.
360
00:24:32,473 --> 00:24:38,160
Let me... rephrase that.
People never talk to me like that.
361
00:24:39,647 --> 00:24:40,622
- Stand up.
- Mm-hm.
362
00:24:40,622 --> 00:24:43,331
I guess it's kind of scary for them.
363
00:24:44,334 --> 00:24:48,225
But that's why I really appreciate
what you did in there.
364
00:24:49,634 --> 00:24:51,378
But I was wondering, um...
365
00:24:51,630 --> 00:24:55,467
do you think that you and I could...
get together sometime this week?
366
00:24:58,132 --> 00:25:00,689
You know, to go over things...
367
00:25:01,769 --> 00:25:02,978
Financial things.
368
00:25:03,409 --> 00:25:07,397
You see, I'd-I'd like to see the areas
where I can afford to take some risks.
369
00:25:07,397 --> 00:25:08,940
- Check your schedule.
- Let me check my schedule.
370
00:25:10,344 --> 00:25:13,032
Great. Let me give you my number.
Do you have a pen?
371
00:25:13,917 --> 00:25:15,663
I don't... think I have one.
372
00:25:21,022 --> 00:25:22,745
- Yes, I do.
- Great.
373
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,799
And... call me Allegra.
374
00:25:39,306 --> 00:25:42,145
- You're done.
- Goodbye.
375
00:25:45,846 --> 00:25:46,738
Good job.
376
00:25:48,021 --> 00:25:51,065
Albert... Oh, damn.
377
00:26:12,463 --> 00:26:16,591
She's some kinda newspaper columnist.
Comes in here once in a while. Great tipper.
378
00:26:16,591 --> 00:26:17,642
What's 'er drink?
379
00:26:17,889 --> 00:26:21,478
Usually beer.
Tonight, Grey Goose martini, dirty.
380
00:26:31,821 --> 00:26:32,397
Hi.
381
00:26:34,795 --> 00:26:36,205
I noticed your glass was getting
a little low,
382
00:26:36,205 --> 00:26:39,068
so I took the liberty
of bringing you another apple martini.
383
00:26:39,068 --> 00:26:39,783
Thank you.
384
00:26:40,113 --> 00:26:44,291
And I couldn't help but notice
you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
385
00:26:45,339 --> 00:26:47,497
- What's your name?
- They call me Chip.
386
00:26:47,975 --> 00:26:49,790
Ah, you can't get 'em to stop?
387
00:26:51,312 --> 00:26:52,007
That was funny.
388
00:26:52,338 --> 00:26:55,667
Listen, Chip, I-I understand the courage
it takes to walk across a room
389
00:26:55,667 --> 00:26:58,008
and try to generate a relationship
outta thin air.
390
00:26:58,133 --> 00:27:02,593
- So, don't take the following personally.
- You have fantastic eyes.
391
00:27:03,943 --> 00:27:05,724
Thanks. Try to listen.
392
00:27:05,724 --> 00:27:10,018
A'ight.... This is no reflection on you.
I'm just not interested.
393
00:27:10,431 --> 00:27:12,566
But thank you for the compliment
of coming over.
394
00:27:12,566 --> 00:27:15,534
You welcome.
So, do you like Cuban food?
395
00:27:16,443 --> 00:27:20,198
Chip, seriously, that was not code for...
"I wish you'd try harder".
396
00:27:20,503 --> 00:27:24,257
Are you always so shut-down.. and
afraid that the right man might make you...
397
00:27:24,257 --> 00:27:26,447
Feel like a natural woman?
398
00:27:27,848 --> 00:27:30,377
Sorry I'm late, honey.
I couldn't get a cab. Uh, how was the meeting?
399
00:27:30,874 --> 00:27:34,584
Ooh, well, there was a-a beginning,
a middle, and an end.
400
00:27:35,289 --> 00:27:36,561
Nice to meet you, Chip.
401
00:27:42,563 --> 00:27:43,636
You, too.
402
00:27:47,094 --> 00:27:49,199
Now, on the one hand,
it is very difficult for a man
403
00:27:49,199 --> 00:27:52,067
to even speak to someone
who looks like you.
404
00:27:52,067 --> 00:27:54,954
But, on the other hand,
should that be your problem?
405
00:27:55,690 --> 00:27:57,574
So, life's kinda hard all around.
406
00:27:59,046 --> 00:28:00,821
No, not if you pay attention.
407
00:28:03,131 --> 00:28:04,620
I mean, you're sendin'
all the right signals:
408
00:28:04,620 --> 00:28:08,413
no earrings, heels under two inches,
your hair is pulled back,
409
00:28:08,413 --> 00:28:12,331
you're wearing reading glasses with no book,
drinking a Grey Goose martini,
410
00:28:12,331 --> 00:28:15,547
which means you had a hell of a week
and a beer just wouldn't do it.
411
00:28:15,547 --> 00:28:16,710
And if that wasn't clear enough,
412
00:28:16,710 --> 00:28:20,050
there's always the "fuck off"
that you have stamped on your forehead.
413
00:28:21,731 --> 00:28:23,392
Because who's gonna believe
that there's a man out there
414
00:28:23,392 --> 00:28:25,567
that can sit beside a woman
he doesn't know
415
00:28:25,567 --> 00:28:29,867
and genuinely be interested in who she is,
what she does, without his own agenda?
416
00:28:30,139 --> 00:28:32,733
Yeah. I wouldn't even know
what that would look like.
417
00:28:33,100 --> 00:28:35,111
So, what would a guy like that say?
418
00:28:35,111 --> 00:28:38,900
Well, he'd say "My name is Alex Hitchens
and I'm a consultant."
419
00:28:39,151 --> 00:28:40,401
But she wouldn't be interested in that
420
00:28:40,401 --> 00:28:43,241
cause she'd probably be just counting
the seconds until he left.
421
00:28:43,241 --> 00:28:45,950
Thinking he was like every other guy.
422
00:28:45,950 --> 00:28:48,996
Which, life experience has taught 'er,
is a virtual certainty.
423
00:28:49,630 --> 00:28:52,078
But then he'd ask her name
and what she did for a living
424
00:28:52,248 --> 00:28:53,873
and she might blow 'im off.
425
00:28:54,789 --> 00:28:56,006
Or she might say...
426
00:29:01,131 --> 00:29:04,931
"I'm Sara Melas.
I run the gossip column at the Standard."
427
00:29:05,312 --> 00:29:07,886
And then he'd ask
all these penetrating questions about her,
428
00:29:07,886 --> 00:29:11,476
because he was sincerely,
if atypically, interested.
429
00:29:11,719 --> 00:29:12,349
No.
430
00:29:13,153 --> 00:29:15,412
- No?
- He'd be interested.
431
00:29:16,991 --> 00:29:19,041
But... he'd see that
there was no way
432
00:29:19,041 --> 00:29:22,581
he could possibly make her realize
that he was for real.
433
00:29:23,197 --> 00:29:28,174
Well, he could be funny and charming
and refreshingly original.
434
00:29:29,169 --> 00:29:29,744
Wouldn't help.
435
00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:33,199
- Don't you hate it when that happens?
- Not really.
436
00:29:34,008 --> 00:29:37,291
They'd both probably go on
to lead the lives they were headed toward and...
437
00:29:37,511 --> 00:29:40,717
My guess is... they'd do just fine.
438
00:29:42,750 --> 00:29:44,482
It's a pleasure
to have met you, Sara Melas.
439
00:29:50,858 --> 00:29:53,804
Grey Goose martini
from the gentleman who just left.
440
00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:00,289
Is that for me?
441
00:30:04,104 --> 00:30:04,952
What?
442
00:30:20,521 --> 00:30:22,512
Vance Munson. Sorry I'm late.
443
00:30:23,547 --> 00:30:26,508
Oh, no. Uh, not a problem.
444
00:30:27,895 --> 00:30:29,341
Wow, you're-you're the...
445
00:30:30,631 --> 00:30:33,723
- Can I get you something to drink, Mr...
- Uh, no, no, I'm-I'm fine, thank you.
446
00:30:34,468 --> 00:30:35,633
So, tell me about 'er.
447
00:30:38,806 --> 00:30:40,197
Have you ever met someone...
448
00:30:40,607 --> 00:30:42,980
and you knew right away
she was gonna be important to you?
449
00:30:43,318 --> 00:30:46,493
Not just because of her looks,
but, you know, that X factor...
450
00:30:47,981 --> 00:30:48,951
How'd you meet 'er?
451
00:30:49,501 --> 00:30:52,577
Uh, actually, I was in a shop
buying pyjamas for my mom.
452
00:30:52,779 --> 00:30:54,619
And by that, of course, you mean...
453
00:30:55,122 --> 00:30:57,543
you were buying lingerie
for another woman.
454
00:30:59,247 --> 00:31:02,960
Yes. You can't help
where you meet somebody.
455
00:31:03,764 --> 00:31:06,417
And the... the lingerie is
for a woman I'm no longer seeing, so...
456
00:31:06,433 --> 00:31:08,925
But anyway, the girl I met,
the one I was talking about...
457
00:31:09,218 --> 00:31:11,777
she's so sweet, funny, southern...
458
00:31:12,272 --> 00:31:14,972
She gives me her number.
Now... she won't return my phone calls.
459
00:31:14,972 --> 00:31:18,860
I don't know what it is about her.
I just can't get her outta my mind.
460
00:31:19,246 --> 00:31:22,938
You know, food has lost its taste.
Colors, you know, they seem dull and...
461
00:31:23,149 --> 00:31:26,531
Things that used to matter...
I don't know, they just no longer do.
462
00:31:27,287 --> 00:31:29,574
I think things aren't gonna
snap back unless I...
463
00:31:32,159 --> 00:31:33,531
Unless I bang 'er.
464
00:31:36,096 --> 00:31:37,215
Excuse me?
465
00:31:39,199 --> 00:31:42,093
You know, bang 'er. Clear my head.
Get in, get off, get out.
466
00:31:45,439 --> 00:31:48,423
I think you may have misunderstood
what I do exactly.
467
00:31:48,423 --> 00:31:51,128
No, I was told you help guys
get in there.
468
00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:53,320
Right. But, see, here's the thing.
469
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:57,051
My clients actually like women.
470
00:31:59,699 --> 00:32:01,990
Uh, yeah, hit-hit it and quit it
is-is not my thing.
471
00:32:01,990 --> 00:32:06,106
Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi.
I need professional help.
472
00:32:06,106 --> 00:32:09,160
Well, that is for damn certain.
473
00:32:09,696 --> 00:32:13,238
And I'm glad you can admit it
because generally that's the hardest part.
474
00:32:17,204 --> 00:32:19,701
You see what I'm doin'?
This is what I'm about.
475
00:32:21,241 --> 00:32:23,091
Power suit, power tie,
power steering.
476
00:32:23,091 --> 00:32:26,752
People can wince, cry, beg,
but eventually they do what I want.
477
00:32:28,046 --> 00:32:31,049
Oh... So, that's, like, a metaphor.
478
00:32:32,841 --> 00:32:33,634
Oh, yeah.
479
00:32:34,052 --> 00:32:36,612
Right. Well, see,
I'm more of a literal kinda guy.
480
00:32:37,224 --> 00:32:38,179
So, when I do this...
481
00:32:41,061 --> 00:32:45,019
this is more like me sayin'
that I will literally break your shit off
482
00:32:45,019 --> 00:32:48,066
if you ever touch me again.
Okay, pumpkin?
483
00:32:48,402 --> 00:32:49,186
Got it.
484
00:32:57,678 --> 00:32:59,176
No. No!
485
00:32:59,746 --> 00:33:03,097
Pablo, I can't just mention your restaurant.
Somebody has to eat there.
486
00:33:04,117 --> 00:33:06,810
No, somebody famous.
You know that.
487
00:33:06,810 --> 00:33:08,450
- Sara Melas?
- No, no, no, no, no.
488
00:33:09,890 --> 00:33:11,514
Okay. Bye.
489
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:14,643
I need your signature.
490
00:33:29,539 --> 00:33:34,076
I... hate it when a guy calls a girl
who did not give him her number.
491
00:33:34,239 --> 00:33:36,238
So, this is me not calling. Over.
492
00:33:36,577 --> 00:33:39,491
Yes, you're right.
This is much less invasive.
493
00:33:39,918 --> 00:33:42,291
Listen, I've been thinkin' about
that sign on your forehead.
494
00:33:42,496 --> 00:33:46,294
And I was wondering if you'd mind
taking it down for dinner Friday night. Over.
495
00:33:47,419 --> 00:33:50,795
Ooh, I can't. I have a couple parties
I have to hit.
496
00:33:51,381 --> 00:33:52,923
Uh, gossip never sleeps.
497
00:33:53,634 --> 00:33:55,382
Not till about 4:00 a.m.
498
00:33:56,136 --> 00:33:56,927
Saturday.
499
00:34:00,180 --> 00:34:01,801
I, um, I have a date.
500
00:34:03,219 --> 00:34:05,862
Do you know the definition
of "perseverance", Miss Melas?
501
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,308
An excuse to be obnoxious?
502
00:34:08,749 --> 00:34:10,356
Continuing in a course of action
503
00:34:10,356 --> 00:34:14,481
without regard to discouragement,
opposition or previous failure. Over.
504
00:34:15,489 --> 00:34:17,187
Okay, Webster,
how do I get rid o' you?
505
00:34:17,649 --> 00:34:20,458
Breakfast, Sunday.
And you can barely even call that a date.
506
00:34:20,458 --> 00:34:24,210
You do that with out-of-town relatives
that you don't even like. Over.
507
00:34:28,669 --> 00:34:29,828
Come on.
508
00:34:32,439 --> 00:34:34,383
Okay, I guess I could do Sunday.
509
00:34:35,375 --> 00:34:37,440
You forgot to say "over". Over.
510
00:34:38,211 --> 00:34:41,137
This conversation's over
as soon as you tell me when and where.
511
00:34:41,381 --> 00:34:44,218
7:00 a.m., North Cove Marina.
Over and out.
512
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:48,599
7:00 a.m.? Are you crazy?
I-I-I don't do 7:00 a.m.
513
00:34:50,657 --> 00:34:51,898
- Hello?
- Sign here.
514
00:34:52,316 --> 00:34:53,778
- What?
- You said Sunday, right?
515
00:34:53,778 --> 00:34:54,570
Yeah.
516
00:34:58,298 --> 00:34:59,530
What if I would have said Friday?
517
00:35:00,867 --> 00:35:01,839
Sunday?
518
00:35:06,306 --> 00:35:08,334
So, I guess
you're not going to church.
519
00:35:21,855 --> 00:35:24,030
Do you really expect me
to wear this?
520
00:35:26,093 --> 00:35:27,977
It'll be awful cold out there
without it.
521
00:35:28,729 --> 00:35:31,310
- Good morning.
- "Good" would have been at 10:00.
522
00:35:36,269 --> 00:35:38,200
You're a lot taller than I remember.
523
00:35:38,705 --> 00:35:39,910
You ever ride one o' these?
524
00:35:40,569 --> 00:35:41,704
Not on the Hudson.
525
00:35:42,542 --> 00:35:45,079
So, what do you wanna do?
Race me around the Statue of Liberty?
526
00:35:45,079 --> 00:35:46,398
If there's time.
527
00:35:47,748 --> 00:35:49,873
- But you might need these.
- All right.
528
00:35:50,201 --> 00:35:51,666
- Bam.
- Wow.
529
00:35:53,086 --> 00:35:54,258
How do I look?
530
00:35:55,856 --> 00:35:56,832
Fabulous.
531
00:35:58,959 --> 00:36:00,433
All right, I give.
532
00:36:01,300 --> 00:36:02,551
Where do I change?
533
00:36:04,131 --> 00:36:08,481
So, we'll go out past the wall, take a left...
It is pretty much a straight shot from there.
534
00:36:08,644 --> 00:36:11,985
- Straight shot to where?
- That's for me to know and you to find out.
535
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:13,520
So, look, what you do
with these babies is...
536
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,607
Yeah, what I do with this baby
is kick your ass.
537
00:37:28,415 --> 00:37:31,019
- What happened? You change your mind?
- It just died.
538
00:37:32,986 --> 00:37:34,480
Did you put gas in it?
539
00:37:35,061 --> 00:37:38,815
Yeah, no. Um, you know, I think it must
have sucked up a diaper or somethin'.
540
00:37:39,029 --> 00:37:41,727
Gross. Try it again.
541
00:37:45,532 --> 00:37:46,835
You want me to call AAA?
542
00:37:46,835 --> 00:37:49,323
Come on around
and let me hop over too.
543
00:37:49,870 --> 00:37:53,199
I don't know. What if you break mine, too?
Then we'll both be sitting ducks.
544
00:37:53,199 --> 00:37:57,370
- I didn't break it. It just died.
- Yeah, yeah.
545
00:37:57,511 --> 00:37:58,668
All right, hop on.
546
00:38:00,967 --> 00:38:03,588
- Uh, scoot back.
- Hitch, I'm already here.
547
00:38:04,381 --> 00:38:05,837
Oh, yeah, but you don't know
where we're goin'.
548
00:38:06,131 --> 00:38:08,773
Well, why don't you tell me?
And then we'll both know.
549
00:38:08,773 --> 00:38:10,138
Sara...
550
00:38:11,724 --> 00:38:13,485
Man, male egos.
551
00:38:13,593 --> 00:38:15,848
I don't know how you guys
make it through the day with them.
552
00:38:15,848 --> 00:38:18,227
What? It is not my ego.
553
00:38:18,436 --> 00:38:20,605
I just... I don't wanna
ruin the surprise.
554
00:38:24,778 --> 00:38:26,862
Sara! Sara!
555
00:38:31,611 --> 00:38:33,286
I'm sorry. Are you all right?
556
00:38:36,483 --> 00:38:39,331
There. I always keep
a few of those around.
557
00:38:39,331 --> 00:38:40,166
Thank you.
558
00:38:40,166 --> 00:38:44,297
I have lower back trouble.
I just shove the ice packs right down there.
559
00:38:44,939 --> 00:38:47,058
Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's a fresh one.
560
00:38:48,995 --> 00:38:50,690
So, Ellis Island.
561
00:38:50,964 --> 00:38:54,387
I have to admit, I have lived in New York
my whole life and I've never been here.
562
00:38:54,387 --> 00:38:56,396
Yeah, I figured that.
Most people haven't.
563
00:38:56,396 --> 00:38:59,116
So I got my man Larry here
to set us up a private tour.
564
00:38:59,281 --> 00:39:01,564
- Oh, great!
- Anything for Hitch.
565
00:39:03,157 --> 00:39:06,152
It was originally known
as Oyster Island.
566
00:39:06,152 --> 00:39:08,857
The island was expanded
to its present size
567
00:39:08,857 --> 00:39:13,319
with dirt removed during the construction
of the New York subway system.
568
00:39:14,030 --> 00:39:15,580
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
569
00:39:15,580 --> 00:39:16,622
Did you know this?
570
00:39:16,995 --> 00:39:19,041
Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's-that's
why I brought you here.
571
00:39:19,041 --> 00:39:23,661
In fact, over 100 million Americans
can trace their ancestry
572
00:39:23,966 --> 00:39:27,970
back to a single man, woman,
or child on the ship's manifest...
573
00:39:28,141 --> 00:39:30,009
to an inspector's ledger.
574
00:39:30,761 --> 00:39:35,598
By 1910,
75% of the residents of New York,
575
00:39:35,860 --> 00:39:39,441
Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, and Boston
576
00:39:39,546 --> 00:39:41,644
were immigrants,
or the children of immigrants.
577
00:39:42,187 --> 00:39:45,397
They generally lived
in the poorest sections of the cities,
578
00:39:46,190 --> 00:39:49,410
in Little Italys, Chinatowns
and other ethnic enclaves.
579
00:39:50,530 --> 00:39:52,238
It's called "The Kissing Post".
580
00:39:53,115 --> 00:39:57,288
The plaque explains how different cultures
kiss after long absences.
581
00:39:58,453 --> 00:40:02,040
Now, what exactly would qualify
as a long absence?
582
00:40:02,455 --> 00:40:03,301
I mean...
583
00:40:04,586 --> 00:40:07,137
- That count?
- No.
584
00:40:10,744 --> 00:40:14,894
I, uh... I actually had... a relative
come through here.
585
00:40:15,558 --> 00:40:16,762
- Really?
- Yeah.
586
00:40:19,196 --> 00:40:19,985
What?
587
00:40:21,354 --> 00:40:24,536
- What?
- What... was that thing?
588
00:40:25,566 --> 00:40:28,732
No, uh... You know,
I was just thinkin' that, uh...
589
00:40:29,596 --> 00:40:33,238
you can't really know where
you're goin' until you know where you been.
590
00:40:33,491 --> 00:40:35,912
- Ain't that right, Larry?
- Amen, brother.
591
00:40:36,499 --> 00:40:38,911
Kinda deep for a first date,
don't you think?
592
00:40:43,677 --> 00:40:45,041
What is that?
593
00:41:03,645 --> 00:41:05,394
Oh, my God!
594
00:41:12,038 --> 00:41:16,466
That's my great-great-grandfather.
That... that's his signature. I... I mean...
595
00:41:16,876 --> 00:41:18,841
Jesus, it's right here!
596
00:41:21,881 --> 00:41:23,668
How did you... how did you know?
597
00:41:24,884 --> 00:41:27,426
Hitch did the search.
I just found the page.
598
00:41:51,444 --> 00:41:52,809
I'm sorry.
599
00:42:02,124 --> 00:42:05,092
I saw that... goin' differently
in my mind.
600
00:42:07,706 --> 00:42:11,966
So, my family never saw 'im again.
Well, except for on the Wanted posters.
601
00:42:12,469 --> 00:42:14,713
Look, I'm... I'm really sorry.
602
00:42:15,635 --> 00:42:20,180
When I saw it on the computer, it said
"the Butcher of Cadiz". You know, what, uh...
603
00:42:21,021 --> 00:42:25,932
I tho-I thought it was a profession...
not a... headline.
604
00:42:27,230 --> 00:42:30,934
It's just one o' those horrible family legacies
we've all tried to forget.
605
00:42:32,952 --> 00:42:35,275
But thank you.
No, it was...
606
00:42:35,889 --> 00:42:37,982
- A train wreck. Yeah.
- No.
607
00:42:38,124 --> 00:42:39,532
Let me get you a cab.
608
00:42:44,397 --> 00:42:45,513
Thanks.
609
00:42:47,967 --> 00:42:49,867
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
610
00:42:59,679 --> 00:43:00,845
Taxi!
611
00:43:04,517 --> 00:43:06,569
Poor guy. Sounds like
he went through a lot o' trouble.
612
00:43:06,936 --> 00:43:11,439
It was fun. In a disastrous kinda way.
I mean, this isn't exactly a hickey.
613
00:43:12,986 --> 00:43:14,732
At least you got a good story
out of it, right?
614
00:43:18,731 --> 00:43:19,366
Right?
615
00:43:19,530 --> 00:43:23,240
- You should try mine, it's great.
- Wait, wait. You're seeing him again?
616
00:43:25,038 --> 00:43:27,577
Well, look. You said that
I'm always expecting men
617
00:43:27,577 --> 00:43:29,832
- to... let me down, right?
- Yeah.
618
00:43:29,832 --> 00:43:32,838
- Assuming that they're gonna fail?
- Which he did.
619
00:43:34,169 --> 00:43:37,047
Yeah, but he did it with flair.
620
00:43:39,342 --> 00:43:44,395
- I mean, Case, he really tanked.
- And that's a desirable trait?
621
00:43:45,437 --> 00:43:48,149
Yeah. Weird, huh?
622
00:43:50,864 --> 00:43:53,160
Now, just... keep it simple.
Just like we practiced.
623
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,785
We're just leavin' a message, okay?
624
00:43:54,785 --> 00:43:57,958
Women like Allegra Cole
don't pick up numbers they don't recognize.
625
00:44:01,653 --> 00:44:02,659
Hello?
626
00:44:03,781 --> 00:44:05,505
She's on the phone!
627
00:44:07,872 --> 00:44:09,757
- Uh, yes. Hello. Miss Cole?
- Yeah.
628
00:44:09,757 --> 00:44:11,664
Hi, I have Albert Brennaman for you.
629
00:44:12,385 --> 00:44:14,516
- One moment, please.
- No. Te-tell her I'm at lunch.
630
00:44:14,516 --> 00:44:17,476
We called her to tell her
you're at lunch?
631
00:44:22,509 --> 00:44:26,611
Allegra.
Hi, it's, uh, Al-bert Brennaman.
632
00:44:27,734 --> 00:44:28,973
Hi, how are you?
633
00:44:29,272 --> 00:44:31,611
Good. Good. I'm doing good.
634
00:44:31,978 --> 00:44:35,328
The reason I'm calling is, uh, about
our appointment this Wednesday.
635
00:44:35,942 --> 00:44:37,699
Not gonna be able to make it.
636
00:44:37,699 --> 00:44:40,739
Oh! Uh... well, when can you make it?
637
00:44:41,581 --> 00:44:42,657
Uh, when can I do it?
638
00:44:42,865 --> 00:44:49,286
Uhh... I don't even know,
cause my whole next week is slammed.
639
00:44:50,523 --> 00:44:52,915
Right. But it's all good. Yeah.
It's all good.
640
00:44:54,007 --> 00:44:57,372
Uh-huh... No, we're gonna
make it happen though, that's for sure.
641
00:44:58,549 --> 00:45:00,835
We're gonna make it happen. Yes.
642
00:45:08,237 --> 00:45:10,881
Are y... What's goin' on over there?
643
00:45:10,881 --> 00:45:13,100
Just moving some things around.
644
00:45:15,288 --> 00:45:16,563
Sky Studios.
645
00:45:16,563 --> 00:45:19,985
Look, tonight I'm actually going
to this fashion thing at Sky Studios.
646
00:45:20,453 --> 00:45:21,408
- Designer friend....
- Yeah.
647
00:45:21,408 --> 00:45:25,738
I just thought it might be something your...
designer friend Maggie would be interested in.
648
00:45:25,738 --> 00:45:27,119
Yeah, definitely.
649
00:45:27,290 --> 00:45:31,462
Well, great. Great. Well, then
I will put you back on with my assist...
650
00:45:49,882 --> 00:45:52,109
- Allegra, over here, please.
- Miss Cole, this way.
651
00:45:52,285 --> 00:45:53,070
Great. One more.
652
00:45:53,438 --> 00:45:56,852
- Hi, there.
- This was a fantastic idea.
653
00:45:57,156 --> 00:45:59,568
I suppose.
Hey, where's Maggie?
654
00:46:00,059 --> 00:46:01,399
Late as usual.
655
00:46:03,763 --> 00:46:07,411
Tonight, I want you to meditate
on the image of an iceberg.
656
00:46:07,785 --> 00:46:09,531
Do you know
why I want you to do that?
657
00:46:10,003 --> 00:46:10,544
Because I'm cool?
658
00:46:11,804 --> 00:46:13,247
- No.
- I know, I'm not. I...
659
00:46:13,247 --> 00:46:15,840
Uh... I'm sayin'
that you are an iceberg
660
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:20,458
in that over 90% of your mass
is below the surface.
661
00:46:21,114 --> 00:46:22,184
I know I'm heavy. I am.
662
00:46:22,516 --> 00:46:26,262
No, uh-uh... I'm talkin' about
who you are. It-it's a metaphor.
663
00:46:26,853 --> 00:46:27,885
Accounting, business,
664
00:46:27,885 --> 00:46:32,888
all of that is just... a small part
of a much deeper, richer Albert.
665
00:46:34,142 --> 00:46:34,826
One more.
666
00:46:36,068 --> 00:46:36,570
Okay.
667
00:46:36,829 --> 00:46:37,939
I know,
it's gonna be loud in there,
668
00:46:37,939 --> 00:46:40,443
so this is our opportunity
to break the touch barrier
669
00:46:40,614 --> 00:46:41,864
in a non-sleazy way.
670
00:46:41,864 --> 00:46:45,000
So, get to where it's loudest.
Ask her if she'd like a drink.
671
00:46:45,191 --> 00:46:47,655
Lean in, place your hand
on the small of her back
672
00:46:47,789 --> 00:46:49,781
and say it in her ear
like a secret.
673
00:46:49,781 --> 00:46:52,992
Watch your hand placement.
Too high says "I just wanna be friends."
674
00:46:53,201 --> 00:46:55,871
Too low says
"I just wanna grab some ass."
675
00:46:56,581 --> 00:46:59,597
Friends. Ass. Me.
676
00:47:04,841 --> 00:47:07,142
Special issues:
Allegra Cole is a celebrity,
677
00:47:07,142 --> 00:47:10,179
which means that when people talk to her,
they'll ignore you completely.
678
00:47:10,179 --> 00:47:12,445
You know? She's classy,
so she'll introduce you.
679
00:47:12,636 --> 00:47:16,185
When she does, shake hands hard and
speak up. Let them know that you're there.
680
00:47:16,185 --> 00:47:18,024
Show her you can handle
being her escort.
681
00:47:18,024 --> 00:47:21,105
- Egon, this is Albert.
- How you doin'?
682
00:47:21,661 --> 00:47:23,978
- Albert, this is Zak.
- Nice to see you.
683
00:47:24,396 --> 00:47:26,156
- These guys are friends with Maggie.
- Oh!...
684
00:47:26,156 --> 00:47:29,277
- Have you been to that new Brazilian restaurant?
- No, but I am looking...
685
00:47:29,277 --> 00:47:32,010
It's disgusting.
I'm writing an article about it.
686
00:47:32,990 --> 00:47:35,452
And... did you see
the new installation at MOMA?
687
00:47:35,910 --> 00:47:38,497
- Yes. Did you think...
- Disgusting. Disgusting.
688
00:47:40,377 --> 00:47:43,179
Uh, women can always tell
when you're not being real with them.
689
00:47:43,930 --> 00:47:47,226
Worst thing you can do is try to fake it,
because you are a great guy.
690
00:47:47,516 --> 00:47:50,878
And you do have something
to offer Allegra that no other man does.
691
00:47:52,038 --> 00:47:53,329
What was your name?
Eggnog?
692
00:47:55,227 --> 00:47:56,054
Egon.
693
00:47:56,825 --> 00:48:00,060
What do you think of the design of the Jets'
new football stadium on the West Side?
694
00:48:00,645 --> 00:48:03,696
- Uhh..
- Lemme guess. Disgusting?
695
00:48:04,650 --> 00:48:06,854
Think it over. We'll be back.
696
00:48:08,955 --> 00:48:11,749
Thank you.
I can't stand those guys.
697
00:48:11,999 --> 00:48:14,169
Really? I kinda liked them.
698
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:15,997
But, when all is said and done...
699
00:48:16,367 --> 00:48:19,122
tonight... is not about Allegra.
700
00:48:19,966 --> 00:48:22,415
- It's not?
- No. Tonight is about Maggie.
701
00:48:22,667 --> 00:48:26,797
A woman's best friend has to sign off
on all big relationship decisions.
702
00:48:27,173 --> 00:48:28,589
So you can't afford to mess this up.
703
00:48:28,589 --> 00:48:31,221
Albert, I want you to meet
my friend, Maggie.
704
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:32,759
Hi, Maggie.
705
00:48:32,759 --> 00:48:35,849
- It's an absolute pleasure to meet you.
- I'm... Maggie.
706
00:48:37,250 --> 00:48:40,242
- No, you're not.
- Yeah, actually... I am.
707
00:48:40,853 --> 00:48:43,935
Magnus Forester.
Thank you so much for inviting us.
708
00:48:46,559 --> 00:48:48,576
- You have very soft hands.
- Thank you.
709
00:48:50,775 --> 00:48:52,914
- Wow. So do you.
- Thank you.
710
00:48:53,067 --> 00:48:57,452
So, tonight, you focus on one thing
and one thing only.
711
00:48:57,804 --> 00:48:58,375
Maggie.
712
00:48:58,529 --> 00:49:01,870
- Where does your... inspiration come from?
- Oh, my God.
713
00:49:03,276 --> 00:49:04,541
Anything I see.
714
00:49:05,278 --> 00:49:08,719
Something in a magazine...
out on the street...
715
00:49:09,615 --> 00:49:10,338
in an old movie...
716
00:49:11,468 --> 00:49:15,308
The receptive nature of the creative facility
just astounds me.
717
00:49:15,509 --> 00:49:17,318
Ooh. Anybody want any spring rolls?
718
00:49:17,318 --> 00:49:20,980
That's a beautiful tie, by the way.
I mean, this whole thing, it just works.
719
00:49:21,188 --> 00:49:22,310
Thank you.
720
00:49:24,228 --> 00:49:26,854
- Is he gay?
- I don't think so.
721
00:49:28,935 --> 00:49:29,561
I like 'im.
722
00:49:29,561 --> 00:49:34,445
Now, 'bout the DJ. Um, generally,
I have a firm no-dancing policy.
723
00:49:34,445 --> 00:49:37,406
But... if she asks, you cannot say no.
724
00:49:37,406 --> 00:49:40,291
That's the one thing I'm not worried about.
But if there are people there and...
725
00:49:40,291 --> 00:49:45,748
I'm sorry... I hate to be a stickler, but,
you kn... I... need to be thorough. Mm, um...
726
00:49:46,552 --> 00:49:48,758
Show me what you mean
by you're not worried about it.
727
00:49:49,097 --> 00:49:52,045
Trust me. You know...
728
00:49:54,527 --> 00:49:56,346
That's what it's all about,
right there.
729
00:49:57,050 --> 00:49:58,349
See how it gets bigger?
730
00:50:01,934 --> 00:50:03,521
Now I'm gonna start the fire.
731
00:50:03,803 --> 00:50:07,436
But the feet are goin'.
I start the fire, I make the pizza.
732
00:50:07,436 --> 00:50:09,097
Hips are always goin'.
733
00:50:10,877 --> 00:50:14,862
Can't get enough hip.
From there... the Q-Tip.
734
00:50:15,915 --> 00:50:18,987
Q-Tip. Q-Tip. Throw it away.
735
00:50:19,986 --> 00:50:21,418
That's not workin', hit 'em with this.
736
00:50:30,763 --> 00:50:35,128
Don't... ever...
do that again.
737
00:50:37,270 --> 00:50:38,385
Do you hear me?
738
00:50:39,135 --> 00:50:40,942
- Just expressing myself.
- No.
739
00:50:41,432 --> 00:50:45,716
No. Mm-mm. Not like that,
you're not. All right?
740
00:50:48,814 --> 00:50:50,272
This is where you live.
741
00:50:51,150 --> 00:50:51,690
Right here.
742
00:50:52,652 --> 00:50:55,356
You live right here. Okay?
This is home.
743
00:50:56,109 --> 00:50:57,118
None o' this.
744
00:50:57,957 --> 00:50:59,237
I don't wanna see none o' that.
745
00:50:59,725 --> 00:51:01,783
Don't need no pizza.
They got food there.
746
00:51:09,790 --> 00:51:13,045
Elbows, 6 inches from the waist,
90-degree angles.
747
00:51:13,265 --> 00:51:16,007
Don't-don't you bite your lip.
Stop it.
748
00:51:35,030 --> 00:51:38,378
Okay? Women relate dancing to sex.
All right?
749
00:51:38,378 --> 00:51:41,489
Even a great dancer can lose it
with one o' these.
750
00:51:42,864 --> 00:51:45,242
Okay, see, now that's what
I need to be learnin'.
751
00:51:56,596 --> 00:51:57,721
Can't stop it.
752
00:51:58,517 --> 00:52:00,426
You cannot stop it.
753
00:52:02,822 --> 00:52:04,054
Next subject.
754
00:52:06,092 --> 00:52:06,599
Get out.
755
00:52:12,231 --> 00:52:12,938
Thanks.
756
00:52:13,689 --> 00:52:16,038
So... you're a Knicks fan?
757
00:52:17,901 --> 00:52:19,068
When they're good.
758
00:52:24,285 --> 00:52:25,654
- Hey.
- Hey.
759
00:52:26,278 --> 00:52:28,293
- I'm really sorry.
- Oh, God. Why?
760
00:52:29,749 --> 00:52:31,916
- She was there?
- I left you a bunch o' messages.
761
00:52:32,618 --> 00:52:35,515
- My phone fell in the Hudson.
- Yeah, well, it gets worse.
762
00:52:39,462 --> 00:52:40,274
I don't believe this.
763
00:52:40,274 --> 00:52:41,472
I thought he was a bodyguard.
764
00:52:41,472 --> 00:52:44,228
Yeah, well, the only one who's gonna
need protection around here is me.
765
00:52:45,197 --> 00:52:47,469
- Max is gonna...
- Gonna be really irritated.
766
00:52:48,057 --> 00:52:51,648
You know, when I got the train this morning,
I thought it was gonna be a good day.
767
00:52:52,354 --> 00:52:54,979
Who the hell is Albert Brennaman?
768
00:52:55,282 --> 00:52:58,480
- I need you to tell me how this happened.
- What? There were some photographers.
769
00:52:58,574 --> 00:53:00,735
Look. Does this even
look like dancin' to you?
770
00:53:01,153 --> 00:53:03,071
That's just a little bit o' me...
being me.
771
00:53:03,071 --> 00:53:05,951
No, Albert. That's, uh, you bein'
a lot o' bit o' somethin'
772
00:53:05,951 --> 00:53:07,699
you don't need to ever be again.
773
00:53:08,454 --> 00:53:09,910
- It's just one dance.
- No.
774
00:53:10,656 --> 00:53:14,998
One dance, one look, one kiss.
That's all we get, Albert.
775
00:53:14,998 --> 00:53:17,627
Just one shot to make the difference
776
00:53:17,627 --> 00:53:20,374
between... happily ever after and...
777
00:53:20,374 --> 00:53:24,144
"Oh, he's just some guy
I went to some thing with once."
778
00:53:25,441 --> 00:53:26,267
All right?
779
00:53:31,849 --> 00:53:34,719
- What?
- You-you said "kiss".
780
00:53:37,397 --> 00:53:38,653
Is... that a problem?
781
00:53:38,653 --> 00:53:40,314
It's... it's not a problem,
782
00:53:40,314 --> 00:53:42,122
- but, I don't know, this is Allegra Cole.
- Albert...
783
00:53:42,722 --> 00:53:44,535
Eight outta 10 women believe
that the first kiss
784
00:53:44,535 --> 00:53:47,827
will tell them everything that
they need to know about a relationship.
785
00:53:47,948 --> 00:53:51,579
And believe me,
she has definitely thought about it.
786
00:53:52,198 --> 00:53:54,096
- She has?
- Ow, of course.
787
00:53:54,096 --> 00:53:58,045
I mean, not that she's gonna
act on it. So, it's no real big deal.
788
00:53:58,504 --> 00:54:01,303
- All right, it's no big deal then.
- It's a very big deal, Albert!
789
00:54:01,303 --> 00:54:02,756
- Huge.
- Monumental!
790
00:54:02,756 --> 00:54:05,048
You are not listen...
791
00:54:06,399 --> 00:54:08,134
I need you
to wrap your head around this.
792
00:54:08,573 --> 00:54:11,137
Tomorrow night, Allegra Cole...
793
00:54:11,767 --> 00:54:15,536
could have her last... first... kiss.
794
00:54:26,322 --> 00:54:28,822
All right, come on,
uh, just show me what you got.
795
00:54:29,507 --> 00:54:32,369
- What do you... what do you mean?
- Just, uh, show me how you would kiss me.
796
00:54:33,205 --> 00:54:33,901
I wouldn't kiss you.
797
00:54:34,512 --> 00:54:35,873
I'm not me, I'm Allegra.
798
00:54:39,145 --> 00:54:40,772
But you're really not, so...
799
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:44,600
Okay, Albert, end o' the night,
you're droppin' me off at home...
800
00:54:44,984 --> 00:54:45,634
Show me the magic.
801
00:54:45,634 --> 00:54:47,252
Yeah, you know, I'm really
not comfortable with this.
802
00:54:47,252 --> 00:54:50,885
God, Albert,
I had such a wonderful time with you.
803
00:54:51,052 --> 00:54:52,723
Yeah, how 'bout those Knicks, huh?
804
00:54:52,887 --> 00:54:58,352
Hey... You see what I'm doin'? All right?
This is a signal. Okay? I'm fiddlin' with my keys.
805
00:54:58,731 --> 00:54:59,937
All right?
A woman that doesn't want a kiss...
806
00:55:00,398 --> 00:55:02,435
takes her keys out, puts them in the door,
goes in the house.
807
00:55:02,435 --> 00:55:05,024
A woman that wants to kiss, she fiddles.
808
00:55:06,500 --> 00:55:07,570
I'm fiddling.
809
00:55:08,071 --> 00:55:09,461
Okay, you have a good night now...
810
00:55:11,206 --> 00:55:13,419
- You see what I'm doin'?
- Robbing me?
811
00:55:13,419 --> 00:55:14,477
No.
812
00:55:14,916 --> 00:55:17,621
See, this is what most guys do.
They rush in to take the kiss.
813
00:55:18,056 --> 00:55:20,166
But you're not most guys.
814
00:55:20,349 --> 00:55:24,543
See, the secret to a kiss...
is to go 90% o' the way...
815
00:55:25,958 --> 00:55:27,226
and then hold.
816
00:55:32,164 --> 00:55:34,054
- For how long?
- As long as it takes...
817
00:55:34,551 --> 00:55:36,025
for her to come the other 10.
818
00:55:36,483 --> 00:55:38,391
Okay, 90-10. Got it.
819
00:55:38,391 --> 00:55:42,027
Yeah? Okay, come on.
Shake it off. It's your turn.
820
00:55:45,698 --> 00:55:48,280
I had a really nice time tonight, Albert.
821
00:55:50,883 --> 00:55:54,032
I had a... great time tonight,
too, Allegra...
822
00:55:56,088 --> 00:55:57,243
with a beard.
823
00:56:31,056 --> 00:56:31,527
What's up?
824
00:56:32,925 --> 00:56:34,953
- I'm not feelin' it.
- What do you mean? I came 90.
825
00:56:35,866 --> 00:56:37,408
It's just... I'm not feelin'
like you want it.
826
00:56:37,622 --> 00:56:42,432
Look, I'm Allegra Cole,
the woman of your dreams.
827
00:56:42,432 --> 00:56:46,041
The woman whose green eyes
are limpid pools of desire.
828
00:56:46,041 --> 00:56:48,460
Now, show me the magic, Albert.
Show me the magic...
829
00:56:49,275 --> 00:56:51,101
- What the hell was that?!
- I'm showin' you the magic! I...
830
00:56:51,101 --> 00:56:53,544
No, I said come 90
and then I come 10!
831
00:56:53,674 --> 00:56:55,216
You don't go the whole hundred!
832
00:56:55,216 --> 00:56:58,933
My mouth was open, Albert.
You overeager son of a...
833
00:57:02,644 --> 00:57:03,853
Other than that, how was it?
834
00:57:05,068 --> 00:57:07,689
They came together, they danced together,
and they left together.
835
00:57:08,894 --> 00:57:10,998
He's cute,
in a sheepdog kind of way.
836
00:57:11,323 --> 00:57:13,406
Hey, for all I know,
he's adorable.
837
00:57:13,866 --> 00:57:15,750
But him dating her is...
838
00:57:16,268 --> 00:57:17,574
You seem stressed.
839
00:57:17,574 --> 00:57:19,200
You and I had an understanding.
840
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:21,371
If you invite Allegra,
you're supposed to call me.
841
00:57:21,371 --> 00:57:23,539
Sara, I didn't invite her.
842
00:57:24,143 --> 00:57:26,043
Honestly, sweetie,
I thought she was still in Europe.
843
00:57:26,597 --> 00:57:28,841
- So, you invited Albert?
- No.
844
00:57:29,509 --> 00:57:33,551
Look, it says here the tickets went
to some guy named... Alex Hitchens.
845
00:57:33,919 --> 00:57:34,594
What?
846
00:57:46,118 --> 00:57:47,150
Machine.
847
00:57:51,025 --> 00:57:52,288
Hi, it's Sara.
848
00:57:52,288 --> 00:57:58,577
Um... I just wanted
to, uh, to say thank you...
849
00:57:58,874 --> 00:58:03,664
for a... an unforgettable experience...
850
00:58:04,083 --> 00:58:04,919
the other day.
851
00:58:06,639 --> 00:58:08,792
And, uh, if you ever wanna see
your shirt again,
852
00:58:08,792 --> 00:58:13,180
you can... you can come by
the Fulton Fish Market tonight, around 8 o'clock .
853
00:58:13,559 --> 00:58:15,185
Okay. Bye.
854
00:58:18,853 --> 00:58:21,012
- You think he'll show?
- Yeah.
855
00:58:21,767 --> 00:58:24,238
He's too much of a player
to have a bad date on his record.
856
00:58:24,643 --> 00:58:27,890
Is this a, uh, source or... a date?
857
00:58:28,974 --> 00:58:30,021
A source.
858
00:58:31,032 --> 00:58:32,937
Well, it sounded like... a date.
859
00:58:33,979 --> 00:58:35,446
Well, it was supposed to.
860
00:58:37,030 --> 00:58:41,084
So, it-it... it looks like a date
and it sounds like a date,
861
00:58:41,084 --> 00:58:45,119
- but... it's not a date.
- Yeah. Right.
862
00:58:46,525 --> 00:58:47,170
Just checkin'.
863
00:59:07,643 --> 00:59:10,239
Hi. I wasn't sure
you got my message.
864
00:59:10,353 --> 00:59:15,025
Well, I wasn't sure you called the right guy.
Uh... You must be a glutton for punishment.
865
00:59:15,571 --> 00:59:17,914
Either that or I really
wanna pay you back.
866
00:59:18,824 --> 00:59:20,689
I think this is yours.
867
00:59:21,627 --> 00:59:24,956
Thank you. I... I'm gonna frame this
for my wall of shame.
868
00:59:25,241 --> 00:59:27,328
Really? There's a whole wall?
869
00:59:27,512 --> 00:59:28,705
So, what are we gettin' into?
870
00:59:31,765 --> 00:59:33,464
Ever been to a food rave before?
871
00:59:33,464 --> 00:59:37,588
Happens once a month, all around the city.
Different chefs, different venues...
872
00:59:38,198 --> 00:59:38,857
You any good in the kitchen?
873
00:59:38,857 --> 00:59:41,353
Well, I can stand the heat,
if that's what you mean.
874
00:59:41,353 --> 00:59:44,775
Good. Cause that's my boss
and his wife right over there.
875
00:59:45,741 --> 00:59:46,894
- Interesting.
- Mm-hm.
876
00:59:47,323 --> 00:59:51,318
Well, here's a concept:
we're paying to cook our own food.
877
00:59:51,318 --> 00:59:54,374
Here's another concept:
Shut up. It's an evening out.
878
00:59:54,374 --> 00:59:56,459
I tell you, the longer you're married,
the less you go out.
879
00:59:56,459 --> 01:00:00,698
In a couple of years, we're gonna end up
bricked into our apartment like a Poe story.
880
01:00:02,198 --> 01:00:04,872
So, Louise, are you...
in the newspaper business, also?
881
01:00:04,872 --> 01:00:06,455
Oh, no, I'm a psychiatrist.
882
01:00:07,618 --> 01:00:11,260
Well... Uhh, that's the last thing
I'm gonna say tonight.
883
01:00:12,206 --> 01:00:15,502
So, uh, Sara, you never told me.
884
01:00:15,863 --> 01:00:19,638
How was the Sky Studio fashion thing
you went to the other night?
885
01:00:19,638 --> 01:00:24,679
- Did you... meet anyone worth mentioning?
- Uh... no. Mm-mm.
886
01:00:26,323 --> 01:00:29,990
Really? I find that... very odd.
887
01:00:30,442 --> 01:00:32,565
- Max.
- I think you're being odd.
888
01:00:32,827 --> 01:00:36,412
Well, I'm... always odd.
It's... why you married me.
889
01:00:36,566 --> 01:00:38,655
And it's why I married you.
890
01:00:40,193 --> 01:00:41,717
Speaking of which, Hitch, uh,
891
01:00:41,828 --> 01:00:45,284
what exactly are your intentions
for the lovely Sara here?
892
01:00:45,284 --> 01:00:48,995
Wait, you know what?
Um, actually, there... there was someone.
893
01:00:51,081 --> 01:00:53,334
Um, I think I met your friends
Albert and Allegra.
894
01:00:54,797 --> 01:00:57,020
- My friends who and who?
- Allegra Cole?
895
01:00:57,424 --> 01:00:59,814
Really?
How do you know her?
896
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:03,012
- Um, I don't.
- Oh, so you know Albert?
897
01:01:04,593 --> 01:01:06,970
- Well, uh... knew.
- Well, he had your tickets.
898
01:01:06,970 --> 01:01:10,935
I mean... How well do you really
know your accountant?
899
01:01:11,903 --> 01:01:15,353
April 15, and then
you don't see 'im again... till April 15.
900
01:01:17,530 --> 01:01:18,186
Ladies and gentlemen...
901
01:01:18,649 --> 01:01:21,608
a coquille St. Jacques
with a lemon butter reduction...
902
01:01:22,029 --> 01:01:23,921
- Compliments of our chef.
- Thank you.
903
01:01:23,921 --> 01:01:25,618
I'm sure you're really
gonna enjoy this.
904
01:01:34,580 --> 01:01:35,674
That's really good.
905
01:01:36,949 --> 01:01:38,848
I'm very impressed.
906
01:01:40,094 --> 01:01:40,633
Why is that?
907
01:01:40,884 --> 01:01:46,633
Well, you know. Around these two, people usually
can't wait to, uh, name-drop and dish their friends
908
01:01:46,633 --> 01:01:50,404
- and you, you are being all discreet.
- Yes. It's... it's quite endearing.
909
01:01:50,847 --> 01:01:53,525
Actually, it is.
So, why don't we change the subject?
910
01:01:56,302 --> 01:01:58,829
- Whoa! Whoa. You all right?
- Oh, no, yeah. No, I'm fine.
911
01:01:59,916 --> 01:02:04,069
So, uh, Sara tells me that, uh,
you're a consultant, Hitch.
912
01:02:04,290 --> 01:02:08,577
Yeah, uh, mostly marketing,
little advertising, brand management...
913
01:02:10,075 --> 01:02:12,383
I have... no idea what that means.
914
01:02:12,919 --> 01:02:15,507
No one does.
That is why I get to charge so much.
915
01:02:19,457 --> 01:02:21,186
Are you-are you sure
you're all right?
916
01:02:21,628 --> 01:02:26,558
Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Um...
Hey, is it itchy in here or is it just me?
917
01:02:27,091 --> 01:02:29,587
- Oh, I know what's happening.
- No, no.
918
01:02:30,473 --> 01:02:32,748
You think
that I-I'm in a stressful state
919
01:02:32,748 --> 01:02:34,349
because I'm tryin' to make
a good impression
920
01:02:34,349 --> 01:02:37,736
while also... dealing
with my commitment issues...
921
01:02:39,038 --> 01:02:41,899
tryin' to avoid
all these awkward conversations...
922
01:02:43,116 --> 01:02:45,980
No, I-I-I think you have food allergies.
923
01:02:47,658 --> 01:02:48,503
- Oh...
- Oh!
924
01:02:48,907 --> 01:02:50,463
- Wow.
- What?
925
01:02:52,613 --> 01:02:55,120
- Uh, Benadryl? Where's the Benadryl?
- Aisle 2.
926
01:02:55,428 --> 01:02:57,750
- Which one's Aisle 2?
- The one with the big 2 over it.
927
01:02:57,750 --> 01:02:59,081
Sara, I'm fine.
928
01:02:59,543 --> 01:03:01,768
- You sure it's in Aisle 2?
- No.
929
01:03:02,002 --> 01:03:03,919
Really, it is not that serious.
930
01:03:08,047 --> 01:03:08,652
Benadryl.
931
01:03:10,219 --> 01:03:13,344
- A lot of Benadryl. A lot. A lot of Benadryl.
- What? What? Will you...
932
01:03:28,394 --> 01:03:30,749
Coquille St. Jacques.
Death on a leaf!
933
01:03:35,568 --> 01:03:36,175
Come on!
934
01:03:47,594 --> 01:03:49,055
Okay, we're doing fine.
935
01:03:49,382 --> 01:03:52,006
Just a couple more blocks
and you get to lie down.
936
01:04:00,938 --> 01:04:02,692
Wait, wait,
who-who sings that song, again?
937
01:04:02,692 --> 01:04:04,522
Oh, girl. Earth, Wind & Fire.
938
01:04:04,899 --> 01:04:06,747
Ahh, you should let them sing it.
939
01:04:10,362 --> 01:04:14,077
I bet this would be great on the rocks.
It's good, right?
940
01:04:16,501 --> 01:04:19,704
I bet I can ask you
just about anything right now.
941
01:04:19,704 --> 01:04:20,834
No.
942
01:04:21,407 --> 01:04:23,540
I'm a vault, baby.
Locked down.
943
01:04:25,347 --> 01:04:31,031
- What is an heiress doing with a CPA?
- Oh, they're going to the Knicks game.
944
01:04:31,991 --> 01:04:34,091
Yep, Fort Knox.
945
01:04:34,236 --> 01:04:35,208
Oh, whoa, whoa.
946
01:04:35,470 --> 01:04:40,433
- He loves her so much!
- I'm sure he does.
947
01:04:40,893 --> 01:04:44,850
I'm tellin'g you, people search
their whole lives trying to find the
948
01:04:44,850 --> 01:04:48,084
reasons that we're here.
949
01:04:49,642 --> 01:04:50,668
I wouldn't know.
950
01:04:51,911 --> 01:04:52,921
You would if you saw it.
951
01:04:52,921 --> 01:04:57,117
Well, sometimes it's really hard
to see the forest through the sleaze.
952
01:04:58,335 --> 01:05:00,802
What about you?
You ever been in love?
953
01:05:06,043 --> 01:05:07,001
Yep.
954
01:05:11,211 --> 01:05:13,412
But you're never gonna know that.
955
01:05:16,274 --> 01:05:19,973
Okay, okay, I think you've had enough
of the juice box.
956
01:05:22,773 --> 01:05:23,735
Let's go.
957
01:05:31,117 --> 01:05:32,846
This is some place.
958
01:05:33,945 --> 01:05:35,414
You live here alone?
959
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:41,919
Yeah. I actually prefer it that way.
What about you?
960
01:05:42,456 --> 01:05:46,388
I haven't had a roommate since college,
and he upped and married my sister.
961
01:05:46,388 --> 01:05:49,081
- Really?
- Yeah, they're gonna have a baby soon.
962
01:05:49,081 --> 01:05:51,471
Oh... Uncle Hitch.
963
01:05:53,146 --> 01:05:54,191
Thank you.
964
01:06:00,713 --> 01:06:03,648
- So, how do you feel?
- Good.
965
01:06:04,864 --> 01:06:06,060
Relaxed.
966
01:06:07,570 --> 01:06:09,408
So, what about you?
Any siblings?
967
01:06:11,479 --> 01:06:15,577
Sister. Maria. Lives in D.C.
968
01:06:17,782 --> 01:06:18,991
Younger, right?
969
01:06:22,046 --> 01:06:23,660
I could hear it in your voice.
970
01:06:25,079 --> 01:06:28,919
Sort of an... innate protective thing.
971
01:06:31,044 --> 01:06:32,425
Yeah, I guess.
972
01:06:38,427 --> 01:06:39,469
What?
973
01:06:42,718 --> 01:06:44,229
She almost died once.
974
01:06:49,311 --> 01:06:50,398
I was 10.
975
01:06:57,657 --> 01:07:02,069
We, um... were skating on the pond
behind our house...
976
01:07:02,808 --> 01:07:04,400
and she fell through the ice.
977
01:07:06,711 --> 01:07:08,167
My dad pulled 'er out.
978
01:07:12,618 --> 01:07:14,142
Gave 'er mouth-to-mouth.
979
01:07:17,554 --> 01:07:20,223
Longest three minutes of my life.
980
01:07:21,972 --> 01:07:23,384
Yeah, I'm sure.
981
01:07:29,657 --> 01:07:32,315
I don't think
I've ever really gotten over it.
982
01:07:35,986 --> 01:07:39,503
Kind of... defines you, doesn't it?
983
01:07:44,412 --> 01:07:48,830
You know, like,
one moment you're gliding along...
984
01:07:50,296 --> 01:07:54,459
next moment you're standin' in the rain
watchin' your life fall apart.
985
01:07:56,529 --> 01:07:57,860
Except it was snow.
986
01:07:59,797 --> 01:08:02,598
Yeah. That's what I said, "snow".
987
01:08:04,937 --> 01:08:05,972
You said "rain".
988
01:08:08,065 --> 01:08:10,893
Some kind of precipitation.
989
01:08:15,159 --> 01:08:16,819
Is that what happened to you?
990
01:08:21,121 --> 01:08:24,787
Nothin' as dramatic
as fallin' through the ice.
991
01:08:28,828 --> 01:08:29,539
You know, it, uh...
992
01:08:31,714 --> 01:08:33,209
definitely...
993
01:08:37,203 --> 01:08:38,594
Left a scar?
994
01:08:40,673 --> 01:08:41,798
Yeah.
995
01:08:54,451 --> 01:08:58,195
I guess it's best
just not to love at all, right?
996
01:09:02,489 --> 01:09:03,864
Or skate.
997
01:09:24,557 --> 01:09:25,510
Hitch?
998
01:09:31,726 --> 01:09:33,015
Are you here?
999
01:09:42,468 --> 01:09:47,506
Sara, you're such an idiot! You moron!
What the hell did you think?
1000
01:09:47,673 --> 01:09:50,345
You're so stupid! You're so stupid!
You gotta learn, Sara.
1001
01:09:50,345 --> 01:09:52,665
- When are you gonna learn...
- Should I come back later?
1002
01:09:55,748 --> 01:09:58,929
Hi. I thought, uh,
I thought you left.
1003
01:09:59,172 --> 01:10:03,883
Well, yeah, I did, you know, but, uh,
but then I came back... with breakfast.
1004
01:10:04,928 --> 01:10:07,644
Uh, yeah, I figured
it-it was the least that I could do.
1005
01:10:09,722 --> 01:10:11,098
Hey, I didn't know
what you were drinkin'
1006
01:10:11,098 --> 01:10:16,356
so... I got a grande cap, a latte,
an Earl Grey tea
1007
01:10:16,356 --> 01:10:19,733
and... somethin' with "chai" in the title.
1008
01:10:20,490 --> 01:10:22,702
Uh-uh... tea for me.
1009
01:10:22,702 --> 01:10:25,736
Tea. Yes!
I was hoping you'd say that.
1010
01:10:28,954 --> 01:10:32,088
Oh, God.
You're a morning person, aren't you?
1011
01:10:33,161 --> 01:10:36,082
Well, you know,
like I, uh, always tell my clients:
1012
01:10:36,417 --> 01:10:39,414
Begin each day...
as if it were on purpose.
1013
01:10:47,259 --> 01:10:49,138
- Wow. Beautiful day.
- Yeah.
1014
01:10:51,136 --> 01:10:53,437
- Beautiful girl...
- Thank you.
1015
01:10:55,180 --> 01:10:59,700
- Well, I'm... this way.
- Oh, I'm... that way.
1016
01:11:01,314 --> 01:11:03,601
Gimme a ring... sometime.
1017
01:11:05,313 --> 01:11:06,903
I mean, on the phone.
1018
01:11:08,991 --> 01:11:12,816
Yeah... No, uh, I definitely will.
1019
01:11:15,209 --> 01:11:15,921
Good.
1020
01:11:45,023 --> 01:11:47,588
Oh, I gotta go to work.
1021
01:11:51,836 --> 01:11:52,742
Okay.
1022
01:11:57,369 --> 01:11:58,414
Bye.
1023
01:12:00,623 --> 01:12:01,996
Goodbye.
1024
01:12:26,123 --> 01:12:30,163
Hey. Can you believe
what a beautiful day it is...
1025
01:12:30,936 --> 01:12:31,823
not?
1026
01:12:32,035 --> 01:12:35,198
- What's wrong, pumpkin?
- Oh, I'm so stupid.
1027
01:12:35,868 --> 01:12:37,969
I ignored your advice.
I went on that date.
1028
01:12:38,329 --> 01:12:39,872
With who?
1029
01:12:40,479 --> 01:12:42,891
- Not the lingerie guy...
- Vance Munson.
1030
01:12:43,182 --> 01:12:45,253
You're right, there's no way
he ever had a mother.
1031
01:12:45,253 --> 01:12:46,881
Oh, that bad?
1032
01:12:46,881 --> 01:12:51,141
He took me to Scalinatella,
and he was affectionate and sweet...
1033
01:12:51,991 --> 01:12:55,225
He told me all these intimate things,
like... how he can't taste food...
1034
01:12:55,225 --> 01:12:56,590
and he wants three kids...
1035
01:12:56,590 --> 01:12:58,231
So, you slept with 'im.
1036
01:12:59,698 --> 01:13:01,390
I never seen anybody
get dressed that fast.
1037
01:13:01,390 --> 01:13:03,349
Oh, Case, I'm so sorry.
1038
01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:08,239
- Well, maybe I'll just die alone after all.
- No, you won't.
1039
01:13:08,941 --> 01:13:12,824
You're gonna meet a great guy with a great smile
and you're gonna travel the world together.
1040
01:13:12,824 --> 01:13:15,000
Okay, who are you?
What have you done with my best friend?
1041
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:18,453
It is true. He just hasn't found you yet.
But he will.
1042
01:13:18,453 --> 01:13:22,291
Just as he's leaving, guess what he says:
"Date doctor, my ass."
1043
01:13:22,623 --> 01:13:25,429
- Well, what-what does that mean?
- It means he's really out there.
1044
01:13:25,678 --> 01:13:29,508
And if I ever meet 'im, the only date
he's gonna need is with a real doctor.
1045
01:13:42,193 --> 01:13:43,156
That's him.
1046
01:13:43,909 --> 01:13:46,038
Vance? Is that you?
1047
01:13:46,355 --> 01:13:49,318
Yeah, hey there... beautiful.
1048
01:13:49,748 --> 01:13:51,107
Sara Melas, from the "Standard".
1049
01:13:51,350 --> 01:13:53,151
I'd like to talk to you about
the dating consultant you hired
1050
01:13:53,151 --> 01:13:55,028
before you went out
with Casey Sedgewick?
1051
01:13:59,214 --> 01:14:02,840
Hey, you don't wanna talk, that's fine.
I'm gonna write this anyway.
1052
01:14:03,128 --> 01:14:05,502
You just earned yourself
a photo with a boldface caption.
1053
01:14:05,502 --> 01:14:07,255
What? Nice.
1054
01:14:07,255 --> 01:14:09,460
Now, I can only imagine how
the guys on the trading floor
1055
01:14:09,460 --> 01:14:10,919
are gonna react when they see this.
1056
01:14:10,919 --> 01:14:12,816
Look, you have no proof,
you have no facts.
1057
01:14:12,816 --> 01:14:15,596
Vance, I'm a gossip columnist,
not the D.A.
1058
01:14:15,596 --> 01:14:18,684
Okay, okay. How much will it cost me
to stay out of this?
1059
01:14:18,684 --> 01:14:20,571
I don't want money. I want a name.
1060
01:14:20,946 --> 01:14:23,062
- I don't know his name.
- Well, what do you know?
1061
01:14:26,218 --> 01:14:26,740
I know this.
1062
01:14:33,992 --> 01:14:35,572
All this for a lousy lay.
1063
01:14:36,562 --> 01:14:37,859
Are we satisfied?
1064
01:14:39,287 --> 01:14:40,408
Almost.
1065
01:14:44,636 --> 01:14:47,417
No, you... Oh... You gotta be...
1066
01:14:53,045 --> 01:14:54,589
Is this really necessary?
1067
01:14:55,447 --> 01:14:56,424
Have you seen your back?
1068
01:14:56,424 --> 01:15:00,637
No, but I see my front and... maybe
we should be starting with some sit-ups.
1069
01:15:01,304 --> 01:15:03,138
God! Mother of Troy!
1070
01:15:06,683 --> 01:15:07,311
Hello?
1071
01:15:07,811 --> 01:15:12,732
Wow. That's crazy.
Just hearin' your voice makes me smile.
1072
01:15:13,238 --> 01:15:14,151
How are you?
1073
01:15:14,697 --> 01:15:16,573
Uh, I'm-I'm-I'm good, I think. Um...
1074
01:15:17,202 --> 01:15:20,571
No, actually, you know what?
Uh, it's, uh... I feel a little strange.
1075
01:15:22,995 --> 01:15:23,914
I'm good.
1076
01:15:25,644 --> 01:15:26,926
Sweet Georgia Brown!
1077
01:15:26,926 --> 01:15:27,830
What was that?
1078
01:15:27,830 --> 01:15:31,251
No, that's just, uh...
some guy screamin'.
1079
01:15:32,618 --> 01:15:33,884
Listen, is there any context
1080
01:15:33,884 --> 01:15:39,467
under which you'd consider facial edema
and pharmaceutical intervention a date?
1081
01:15:39,467 --> 01:15:42,257
Mm... Probably not.
1082
01:15:42,528 --> 01:15:43,356
How 'bout a do-over?
1083
01:15:43,356 --> 01:15:46,439
- What do you have in mind?
- Dinner, my place...
1084
01:15:46,439 --> 01:15:49,970
I mean, because obviously goin'
anywhere public with you is outta the question.
1085
01:15:51,740 --> 01:15:54,116
God! That's it.
I don't like you very much.
1086
01:15:54,318 --> 01:15:55,400
What is that?
1087
01:15:55,974 --> 01:15:56,742
Wait... I'm getting up.
1088
01:15:56,742 --> 01:15:59,568
Kind of, uh-uh, like,
one of those makeover shows.
1089
01:15:59,568 --> 01:16:01,943
- That's a makeover show?
- It's Danish.
1090
01:16:02,247 --> 01:16:02,782
Almost done!
1091
01:16:04,983 --> 01:16:05,825
Friday?
1092
01:16:05,825 --> 01:16:11,006
Oh, can't. I told a friend I'd go speed dating.
Well, you know, for moral support.
1093
01:16:11,006 --> 01:16:13,098
Uh, but... tomorrow I'm free.
1094
01:16:13,996 --> 01:16:15,828
Great. All right. Uh, 8 o'clock?
1095
01:16:16,562 --> 01:16:17,171
Great.
1096
01:16:17,696 --> 01:16:20,383
- All right. Bye-bye.
- Bye.
1097
01:16:25,531 --> 01:16:28,755
- See, it wa-it wasn't so bad, was it?
- Oh, God!
1098
01:16:33,229 --> 01:16:35,904
Ball is back in play
after a 20-second timeout.
1099
01:16:35,904 --> 01:16:39,777
Knicks lead the Grizzlies, 12-6,
here early in the first quarter.
1100
01:16:49,787 --> 01:16:52,337
- So, this is what this feels like?
- "This" being...?
1101
01:16:53,265 --> 01:16:55,131
Great seats... great game...
1102
01:16:56,717 --> 01:16:58,834
Great... date.
1103
01:17:00,843 --> 01:17:02,423
I mean... sort of.
1104
01:17:02,889 --> 01:17:05,339
To me, it-it feels... like a...
1105
01:17:06,048 --> 01:17:08,025
- Date?
- Yeah.
1106
01:17:08,932 --> 01:17:09,850
Yeah.
1107
01:17:14,064 --> 01:17:15,770
Look at 'er.
She looks so happy.
1108
01:17:16,822 --> 01:17:18,856
How does a guy like that
end up with a girl like her?
1109
01:17:25,208 --> 01:17:28,533
I am so jealous.
I've always wanted to be able to do that.
1110
01:17:28,533 --> 01:17:31,546
Really? Tonight is your lucky night.
Let's see what you got.
1111
01:17:31,546 --> 01:17:33,331
Okay. You ready?
1112
01:17:36,775 --> 01:17:39,714
- Oh, God. I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
1113
01:17:39,714 --> 01:17:42,019
Knicks off to a great start...
1114
01:17:41,879 --> 01:17:43,501
All right,
here's how it works.
1115
01:17:43,775 --> 01:17:48,071
Central Park Zoo, tomorrow, noon,
by the sea lions.
1116
01:17:49,488 --> 01:17:51,115
No, don't worry. I'll find you.
1117
01:17:51,351 --> 01:17:53,687
All right. Thank you.
1118
01:18:12,044 --> 01:18:13,698
No, it's all right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1119
01:18:14,746 --> 01:18:15,590
Damn me. Damn me.
1120
01:18:19,269 --> 01:18:22,059
Hey! That was it!
You got it. Do it again, do it again!
1121
01:18:24,342 --> 01:18:25,757
Look how cute they are.
1122
01:18:57,356 --> 01:18:58,416
Thanks.
1123
01:19:14,940 --> 01:19:17,228
I had a great time tonight, Albert.
1124
01:19:17,930 --> 01:19:20,939
I... had a great... time, too, Allegra.
1125
01:19:38,623 --> 01:19:39,676
Well, uh...
1126
01:19:41,666 --> 01:19:42,768
Good night.
1127
01:19:43,602 --> 01:19:44,933
Good night, Albert.
1128
01:19:58,447 --> 01:20:00,727
- Allegra.
- Yes?
1129
01:20:04,990 --> 01:20:05,566
Hold on.
1130
01:20:28,447 --> 01:20:30,091
I like your lips.
1131
01:20:34,219 --> 01:20:35,849
They seem to like you, too.
1132
01:20:42,186 --> 01:20:45,320
Okay... Good night.
1133
01:20:46,465 --> 01:20:47,399
Good night.
1134
01:21:23,908 --> 01:21:26,241
- Anything?
- Not yet.
1135
01:21:26,901 --> 01:21:28,520
But I got some great shots
of you bitin' your nails.
1136
01:21:29,941 --> 01:21:31,358
Well, it's a big story.
1137
01:21:32,364 --> 01:21:34,496
- Aw... incoming.
- Really?
1138
01:21:34,496 --> 01:21:35,702
Yep. They're shakin' hands.
1139
01:21:35,702 --> 01:21:38,200
Oh, my God, this is so great.
I can't wait to nail this guy.
1140
01:21:38,200 --> 01:21:40,034
Hey, make sure
you get a good shot of his face.
1141
01:21:40,034 --> 01:21:40,469
Uh-huh.
1142
01:21:40,469 --> 01:21:42,663
- What's he look like?
- Tall, dark, and handsome.
1143
01:21:43,522 --> 01:21:44,472
Basic principles:
1144
01:21:45,041 --> 01:21:47,299
No matter what, no matter who,
no matter when.
1145
01:21:47,560 --> 01:21:48,876
This is killing me.
1146
01:21:49,302 --> 01:21:51,423
Geoff's actually managing
to play it straight.
1147
01:21:51,458 --> 01:21:52,806
How long you been
in love with 'er?
1148
01:21:52,806 --> 01:21:56,629
Oh, her? Chap...
About two and a... two and a half years.
1149
01:21:59,638 --> 01:22:00,098
- Take a look.
- Okay.
1150
01:22:08,563 --> 01:22:11,667
- How'd you get my card?
- Albert... Albert Brennaman.
1151
01:22:11,860 --> 01:22:13,918
- Great guy, isn't he?
- Excellent guy.
1152
01:22:16,496 --> 01:22:17,614
What...? Sara...
1153
01:22:18,535 --> 01:22:19,199
Sara!
1154
01:22:23,969 --> 01:22:27,415
- Pleasure to meet you, Geoff.
- Uh, hey, what...
1155
01:22:32,170 --> 01:22:35,548
- How'd you get my card?
- Albert... Albert Brennaman.
1156
01:22:35,817 --> 01:22:37,799
- Great guy, isn't he?
- Excellent guy.
1157
01:22:40,512 --> 01:22:42,070
You sure you wanna do this?
1158
01:22:42,482 --> 01:22:43,354
Why wouldn't I?
1159
01:22:47,101 --> 01:22:51,732
You know, Louise made an interesting observation
on the way home the other night.
1160
01:22:52,958 --> 01:22:55,627
She said people who are guarded
are afraid
1161
01:22:55,627 --> 01:22:59,030
that... you can see right through them.
1162
01:22:59,212 --> 01:23:03,369
That's why they hide behind
layers of, uh, secrecy or humor.
1163
01:23:03,451 --> 01:23:06,828
Well, he's gonna have to hide behind
a lot more than that once this hits the fan.
1164
01:23:08,139 --> 01:23:09,391
She meant you.
1165
01:23:14,401 --> 01:23:15,760
What do you want me to say?
1166
01:23:17,313 --> 01:23:21,762
That I like the guy?
Yeah, sure, I liked the guy.
1167
01:23:23,555 --> 01:23:26,140
Well... here's his shirt.
1168
01:23:27,559 --> 01:23:32,065
- Why don't you think about it? Call me.
- Thanks.
1169
01:23:42,377 --> 01:23:42,945
Yeah.
1170
01:23:43,500 --> 01:23:45,792
Papi, Sara Melas is here to see you.
1171
01:23:47,328 --> 01:23:50,459
Thanks a lot, Raoul. Send her up.
And, uh, stop callin' me papi.
1172
01:24:02,192 --> 01:24:05,472
Well... Aren't you
a sight for sore eyes.
1173
01:24:06,822 --> 01:24:08,934
I believe this belongs to you.
1174
01:24:13,147 --> 01:24:16,033
Yeah, this thing is like a...
a bad penny.
1175
01:24:16,141 --> 01:24:17,288
Wow!
1176
01:24:18,193 --> 01:24:19,899
So, this is it.
1177
01:24:20,335 --> 01:24:21,862
Uh, yeah, this is it.
1178
01:24:24,115 --> 01:24:28,837
- Business must be good.
- Well, you know, it-it has its rewards.
1179
01:24:28,837 --> 01:24:32,165
Yeah.... I'll bet.
1180
01:24:33,892 --> 01:24:34,458
Tough day?
1181
01:24:35,212 --> 01:24:37,221
Mm, you could say that.
1182
01:24:39,064 --> 01:24:41,418
Well, you know what?
You can just sit back and relax.
1183
01:24:41,418 --> 01:24:43,592
- Mmm...
- I got this all covered.
1184
01:24:47,305 --> 01:24:49,616
Spanish wine?!
1185
01:24:51,609 --> 01:24:54,064
How thoughtful are we?
1186
01:24:54,064 --> 01:24:56,646
- Here, let me pour that for you.
- No, that's okay.
1187
01:24:57,849 --> 01:25:00,319
- You want some?
- Sure.
1188
01:25:02,110 --> 01:25:08,384
So... Hitch.
Is that, like, a... noun or a verb?
1189
01:25:09,468 --> 01:25:12,672
- Uhh... I guess it depends.
- Mmm.
1190
01:25:14,956 --> 01:25:18,710
Let's see.
What should we toast to?
1191
01:25:21,842 --> 01:25:25,051
Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink.
1192
01:25:25,638 --> 01:25:29,100
But if you must lie,
lie in the arms of the one you love.
1193
01:25:29,930 --> 01:25:32,647
If you must steal,
steal away from bad company.
1194
01:25:33,144 --> 01:25:35,933
If you must cheat, cheat death.
1195
01:25:36,481 --> 01:25:38,033
And if you must drink...
1196
01:25:38,448 --> 01:25:42,079
drink in the moments...
that take your breath away.
1197
01:25:43,959 --> 01:25:45,835
Did you just make that up?
1198
01:25:58,276 --> 01:26:02,172
Make yourself at home.
Um... I'm gonna... check on the risotto.
1199
01:26:02,586 --> 01:26:07,421
Waw! Look at this!
Which one's the music?
1200
01:26:09,767 --> 01:26:12,151
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
1201
01:26:13,185 --> 01:26:16,561
And it does... does lights, too?
1202
01:26:18,270 --> 01:26:21,025
Uh, hey. Let me, uh,
let me help you out with that.
1203
01:26:21,275 --> 01:26:24,359
Now, this... this is nifty.
1204
01:26:25,870 --> 01:26:26,619
What are you doing?
1205
01:26:27,285 --> 01:26:29,697
How does it work, exactly?
1206
01:26:31,159 --> 01:26:36,158
Well, usually... you have dinner,
then you have dessert.
1207
01:26:36,962 --> 01:26:40,588
No, no. No, I mean
your thriving business.
1208
01:26:44,714 --> 01:26:46,007
I don't do interviews.
1209
01:26:48,293 --> 01:26:51,595
But if you'd like to get back to the evening,
I'd be more than happy to sit and talk.
1210
01:26:51,595 --> 01:26:53,847
Great idea. You start.
1211
01:26:55,183 --> 01:26:59,894
Well... maybe I would
if you weren't snarling.
1212
01:27:06,477 --> 01:27:08,028
What if I told you...
1213
01:27:08,546 --> 01:27:13,007
that I know exactly what you do
and how you do it?
1214
01:27:13,007 --> 01:27:15,293
And I think it's despicable!
1215
01:27:15,293 --> 01:27:18,252
You know what?
We might need to go out to dinner.
1216
01:27:18,252 --> 01:27:21,712
Yeah, there's a great seafood restaurant
I'd love to take you to.
1217
01:27:24,195 --> 01:27:25,845
How 'bout
you just get a cleaver, butcher?
1218
01:27:26,865 --> 01:27:29,342
- Maybe I will!
- What the hell is wrong with you?
1219
01:27:29,678 --> 01:27:31,517
Nothing a front-page story can't cure.
1220
01:27:31,517 --> 01:27:33,142
- Oh, so that's what this is all about?
- Uh-huh.
1221
01:27:33,142 --> 01:27:35,682
Albert and Allegra
on the front of your crap-ass newspaper?
1222
01:27:35,682 --> 01:27:37,727
- You put them there!
- No, you did!
1223
01:27:37,727 --> 01:27:40,812
No, he did!
The minute he called you!
1224
01:28:08,517 --> 01:28:10,066
Dr. Hitch. Listen to me, papi.
1225
01:28:10,465 --> 01:28:14,487
I need to bring my partner, Amir,
somewhere amazing for our anniversary.
1226
01:28:15,013 --> 01:28:18,099
Maybe it's not your thing,
but... maybe it is.
1227
01:28:18,383 --> 01:28:19,809
What the hell
are you talking about, Raoul?
1228
01:28:20,059 --> 01:28:21,746
It's you, no?
1229
01:28:42,507 --> 01:28:46,543
So, my friend? How was she?
Pretty good, eh?
1230
01:28:50,386 --> 01:28:53,157
How was she?
I'll tell you! She was great!
1231
01:29:07,106 --> 01:29:08,524
- Isn't that the Date Doctor?
- No, it's not him.
1232
01:29:08,524 --> 01:29:10,955
- I'm telling you, that's him.
- He doesn't look anything like 'im.
1233
01:29:10,955 --> 01:29:14,252
- Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you know him?
- No.
1234
01:29:15,306 --> 01:29:18,534
I want you to look me in the eye
and you tell me he did not hire you.
1235
01:29:18,534 --> 01:29:22,459
Ma'am, I have never seen this man
before in my life.
1236
01:29:22,947 --> 01:29:23,765
See you later, Tony.
1237
01:29:23,765 --> 01:29:26,249
Uh, Tony? You have got
some serious explaining to do.
1238
01:29:26,549 --> 01:29:28,216
Albert. Hitch. You all right?
1239
01:29:28,216 --> 01:29:31,063
You know what? I can't really, uh,
talk right now. I'm kinda... tied up.
1240
01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:33,459
One, two, three.
1241
01:29:41,833 --> 01:29:43,227
Women will remain seated.
1242
01:29:43,449 --> 01:29:46,899
Men will rotate
to the left at the buzzer.
1243
01:29:46,899 --> 01:29:48,914
You get two minutes each,
four minutes total.
1244
01:29:48,914 --> 01:29:53,336
So... trade your talk time
when you hear...
1245
01:29:55,279 --> 01:29:55,740
the gong.
1246
01:29:56,363 --> 01:29:58,110
If it's mutual, you get numbers.
1247
01:29:58,325 --> 01:30:01,984
If not, better luck next time. Okay?
1248
01:30:02,756 --> 01:30:05,453
Ladies... take your seats.
1249
01:30:06,858 --> 01:30:10,936
Case, you are a living testimonial
to the triumph of hope over experience.
1250
01:30:10,936 --> 01:30:12,341
Oh, thanks for comin'.
1251
01:30:12,964 --> 01:30:15,723
I know it's lame. I'm sure
it's the last thing you feel like doin'.
1252
01:30:16,300 --> 01:30:20,028
I really prefer Rachmaninoff
to the heavier romantic composers,
1253
01:30:20,028 --> 01:30:23,358
but... you know, despite
the pan-Germanic anti-Semitism...
1254
01:30:23,741 --> 01:30:26,017
I'd still have to say
my favorite is Wagner.
1255
01:30:27,313 --> 01:30:28,231
Oh, yeah.
1256
01:30:29,180 --> 01:30:31,240
- Nice talking to you.
- Thank you. Okay, bye.
1257
01:30:31,240 --> 01:30:32,275
Bye.
1258
01:30:33,035 --> 01:30:34,116
- Hi.
- Hi.
1259
01:30:34,116 --> 01:30:35,288
Excuse me.
1260
01:30:36,587 --> 01:30:37,483
That's my seat, man.
1261
01:30:38,001 --> 01:30:39,322
- Hi.
- Hi.
1262
01:30:39,532 --> 01:30:41,992
- Hi.
- My name is Ron. Uh, 28.
1263
01:30:41,992 --> 01:30:44,003
Albert Brennaman is a good man.
1264
01:30:44,881 --> 01:30:47,541
In fact, Albert Brennaman is a great man.
1265
01:30:47,749 --> 01:30:50,695
I just got out of
a five-year relationship.
1266
01:30:50,835 --> 01:30:53,003
I'm a lot of fun at parties.
I like dogs...
1267
01:30:53,003 --> 01:30:56,340
And then... you're-you're mad at me
for what I do for a living?
1268
01:30:56,340 --> 01:30:57,674
Look, I've already got your number
1269
01:30:57,674 --> 01:31:00,215
so why don't you go
consult your conscience?
1270
01:31:00,778 --> 01:31:03,110
- Albert is in love with her.
- Oh yeah, just like Sebastian?
1271
01:31:03,110 --> 01:31:05,351
- Is there a problem?
- Oh, no, just one sec.
1272
01:31:05,351 --> 01:31:07,769
- What do you have against Allegra anyway?
- Nothing.
1273
01:31:08,268 --> 01:31:11,235
My interest is protecting women
from assholes like you.
1274
01:31:11,235 --> 01:31:12,980
Oh, I did ice climbing. Once.
1275
01:31:12,980 --> 01:31:15,657
- You don't even know me.
- And whose fault is that?
1276
01:31:15,657 --> 01:31:18,484
... the sun comes up,
the-the ice really starts to fall apart.
1277
01:31:18,484 --> 01:31:19,864
I bet. I-I-I'm sorry.
1278
01:31:19,864 --> 01:31:21,998
- Do you know this guy?
- Apparently not.
1279
01:31:21,998 --> 01:31:22,877
You're in my seat.
1280
01:31:22,877 --> 01:31:26,789
Look... You really...
I'm doin' you a favor, believe me.
1281
01:31:27,591 --> 01:31:31,628
Basically, I like outdoor sports.
But indoor, uh, sports have their place, too.
1282
01:31:31,628 --> 01:31:34,626
There are certain aspects of my job
that are secretive, all right?
1283
01:31:34,626 --> 01:31:36,840
And my job is
to try to find the truth.
1284
01:31:36,840 --> 01:31:40,592
The truth? Ha! You wouldn't know the truth
if it kicked you in the head.
1285
01:31:40,592 --> 01:31:43,013
And if Albert Brennaman has
to take a fall for it, so be it.
1286
01:31:43,013 --> 01:31:44,890
Why don't you say
what's really pissin' you off?
1287
01:31:45,519 --> 01:31:46,641
Okay, buddy,
I've been waiting to talk to her...
1288
01:31:46,641 --> 01:31:49,065
You wanna sit down?
Here you go, here you go. Gong!
1289
01:31:49,065 --> 01:31:49,735
Thank you.
1290
01:31:49,735 --> 01:31:50,622
- Excuse me.
- Whoa!
1291
01:31:50,894 --> 01:31:53,855
Hi. A-actually, you're not supposed
to move. He's... b... um...
1292
01:31:54,066 --> 01:31:54,981
I'm Alex Hitchens.
1293
01:31:55,370 --> 01:31:57,037
- Okay, hi.
- No, no, it's okay, really. Go.
1294
01:31:57,037 --> 01:31:58,947
- I'm Casey.
- Hi, Casey.
1295
01:31:58,947 --> 01:32:01,574
And I work for a small publishing house
in the press department...
1296
01:32:01,781 --> 01:32:04,706
which isn't actually where I wanna be.
But, you know, it's a good house, so...
1297
01:32:04,706 --> 01:32:07,552
You handled me.
You manipulated me.
1298
01:32:08,012 --> 01:32:11,204
You researched me and you showed me
my great-grandfather's signature.
1299
01:32:11,372 --> 01:32:13,392
Wait. You're Ellis Island?
1300
01:32:14,018 --> 01:32:15,562
- I thought that was real sweet.
- Thank you.
1301
01:32:15,562 --> 01:32:19,084
- Case, you're not helping.
- Uh, excuse me! I'm on a date.
1302
01:32:20,359 --> 01:32:23,020
Does it ever occur to women
that maybe a guy might
1303
01:32:23,020 --> 01:32:25,639
like to have a plan, you know,
because he's nervous?
1304
01:32:25,639 --> 01:32:29,692
He's not sure that he could just...
walk up to you and you'd respond if he said:
1305
01:32:29,976 --> 01:32:33,230
"I like you." "I... like you."
1306
01:32:34,032 --> 01:32:35,566
I... like you!
1307
01:32:35,566 --> 01:32:38,656
- Oh, no, that sounds good to me.
- It's true, you can't tell 'em you that you like 'em.
1308
01:32:38,656 --> 01:32:41,788
- I tried that one time. It didn't go well.
- It's stupid, I've been crashed and burned on that.
1309
01:32:42,380 --> 01:32:45,199
That is what you did,
and I did like you!
1310
01:32:45,449 --> 01:32:48,126
I just didn't know I was being worked over
by some professional.
1311
01:32:48,292 --> 01:32:49,343
He doesn't have a badge.
1312
01:32:50,455 --> 01:32:52,705
And, you know, the only time
he was sincere or spontaneous
1313
01:32:52,705 --> 01:32:56,055
was when everything was going horribly wrong...
or when you were stoned outta your head.
1314
01:32:56,055 --> 01:32:59,671
- Now, I'm sorry to interrupt. Do I know you?
- No, I-I don't think so.
1315
01:32:59,671 --> 01:33:02,399
- You wanna see me be spontaneous?
- Sure, you want a Benadryl?
1316
01:33:02,399 --> 01:33:07,137
Hey, you know what? This is really kinda
distracting. And I haven't gotten laid in a year!
1317
01:33:13,816 --> 01:33:16,479
We're sorry. Why-why don't you guys
get back to your date?
1318
01:33:16,978 --> 01:33:19,820
Um... Or... go somewhere.
1319
01:33:20,943 --> 01:33:22,418
Maybe from the bank? Huh?
1320
01:33:23,020 --> 01:33:24,738
Hey, you know what?
If this doesn't work out, you can give 'im a call.
1321
01:33:24,738 --> 01:33:26,282
He might hook you up
with Paris Hilton.
1322
01:33:26,282 --> 01:33:30,116
Wait, that's it. That's... You're the, uh,
you're the Date Doctor, right?
1323
01:33:30,537 --> 01:33:32,254
Oh, you're the Date Doctor?
1324
01:33:34,587 --> 01:33:37,556
- You're the Date Doctor?
- Do we have a problem here?
1325
01:33:37,794 --> 01:33:42,172
Oh, yeah. A big one!
What the hell did I ever do to you, huh?
1326
01:33:43,056 --> 01:33:45,425
I'm s... Am I missing something?
1327
01:33:46,185 --> 01:33:47,303
Sir, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.
1328
01:33:47,469 --> 01:33:48,262
All right.
1329
01:33:48,442 --> 01:33:51,182
Why don't you go hit a titty bar
with your buddy Vance?
1330
01:33:57,064 --> 01:33:57,934
Wow.
1331
01:34:00,258 --> 01:34:00,899
I don't believe this.
1332
01:34:05,096 --> 01:34:05,697
That's your source?
1333
01:34:07,128 --> 01:34:10,742
- You buried yourself, Alex.
- Then you weren't listening.
1334
01:34:11,037 --> 01:34:15,374
I heard every word.
You're a scam artist.
1335
01:34:15,450 --> 01:34:18,967
- You trick women into getting...
- Into getting outta their own way
1336
01:34:18,967 --> 01:34:22,913
so great guys like Albert Brennaman
have a fighting chance.
1337
01:34:23,047 --> 01:34:26,148
Okay, no, no, no. I want-I want everybody
to take a good look at this... right now.
1338
01:34:26,148 --> 01:34:27,760
Because this... this right here...
1339
01:34:27,920 --> 01:34:32,337
this is exactly why fallin' in love
is so goddamn hard.
1340
01:34:33,445 --> 01:34:35,602
Sir, let's go. Now!
1341
01:34:38,362 --> 01:34:43,435
And Vance Munson... is a pig!
And I refused to work with him.
1342
01:34:43,989 --> 01:34:45,834
You need to get your facts right.
1343
01:34:48,339 --> 01:34:51,242
It's because o' jerks like him
that I even have a job.
1344
01:34:54,288 --> 01:34:55,498
Had a job.
1345
01:35:08,429 --> 01:35:10,092
Can you believe that guy?
1346
01:35:11,094 --> 01:35:14,055
Actually... I do.
1347
01:35:35,139 --> 01:35:35,961
You...
1348
01:35:38,289 --> 01:35:40,000
complete me.
1349
01:35:41,625 --> 01:35:43,685
- I might just have...
- Shut up.
1350
01:35:44,729 --> 01:35:46,135
Just shut up.
1351
01:35:47,164 --> 01:35:49,260
You had me at "hello".
1352
01:36:17,328 --> 01:36:18,220
No comment.
1353
01:36:19,332 --> 01:36:27,130
Oh, yeah... You know, uh...
This is... off the... record.
1354
01:36:32,510 --> 01:36:34,223
I came to apologize.
1355
01:36:34,545 --> 01:36:39,768
I made some assumptions about you
based on... nothing, it turns out.
1356
01:36:40,353 --> 01:36:45,736
- And I, uh... I guess Casey's right. My best friend...
- Don't worry about it. We're straight.
1357
01:36:47,167 --> 01:36:51,739
Wait... I just I... I should've asked you.
You know? But sometimes you're so guarded.
1358
01:36:51,739 --> 01:36:54,465
And I just don't wanna
be another reason for you to...
1359
01:36:56,366 --> 01:37:00,419
I'm not someone... who likes
to get involved past a certain point.
1360
01:37:00,711 --> 01:37:04,546
And that point...
was about a week ago.
1361
01:37:10,480 --> 01:37:15,140
Well... I just wanna say
I'm really sorry...
1362
01:37:16,598 --> 01:37:18,545
and I didn't mean to hurt you.
1363
01:37:21,125 --> 01:37:21,649
You didn't.
1364
01:37:26,457 --> 01:37:27,690
That's a relief.
1365
01:37:56,799 --> 01:37:59,345
- Hey, fella.
- Yeah, good. You?
1366
01:38:02,302 --> 01:38:04,055
- What you got there?
- This?
1367
01:38:04,055 --> 01:38:08,124
I... figured maybe if my heart
stops beatin', it wouldn't hurt so much.
1368
01:38:09,772 --> 01:38:11,277
She hasn't called back?
1369
01:38:15,529 --> 01:38:17,073
Hey, you want some coffee?
1370
01:38:22,322 --> 01:38:23,706
I want you to fix it.
1371
01:38:28,209 --> 01:38:29,595
I got nothin', Albert.
1372
01:38:31,547 --> 01:38:33,881
Hey, you-you wanna do somethin'?
We should get out tonight.
1373
01:38:33,921 --> 01:38:37,142
You know, honestly? Never knew
I could feel like this, um?
1374
01:38:37,142 --> 01:38:40,095
I swear I'm...
goin' out of my mind.
1375
01:38:41,282 --> 01:38:43,264
I wanna throw myself off
of every building in New York.
1376
01:38:43,264 --> 01:38:48,321
I-I see a cab and I just wanna dive in front of it,
because... then I'll stop thinkin' about 'er.
1377
01:38:48,321 --> 01:38:51,144
Look, you will.
Just... give it time.
1378
01:38:51,144 --> 01:38:53,814
That's just it. I don't want to.
1379
01:38:54,072 --> 01:38:56,949
I mean, I've... waited my whole life
to feel this miserable.
1380
01:38:57,169 --> 01:38:59,325
And if this is the only way
I can stay connected with her,
1381
01:38:59,325 --> 01:39:01,593
then... then this is
who I have to be.
1382
01:39:01,825 --> 01:39:06,121
No, you don't.
You can change, you can adapt.
1383
01:39:06,548 --> 01:39:09,166
You can make it,
so you don't ever have to feel like this.
1384
01:39:09,166 --> 01:39:10,580
Ever again.
1385
01:39:20,564 --> 01:39:23,501
Oh, my God.
You just don't get it, do you?
1386
01:39:24,101 --> 01:39:25,153
Oh, I get it.
1387
01:39:26,271 --> 01:39:27,734
All right, it's-it's...
Let me get this straight.
1388
01:39:28,397 --> 01:39:31,357
You're sellin' this stuff,
but you just don't believe in your own product.
1389
01:39:32,027 --> 01:39:35,076
- Love is my life.
- No. Love is your job.
1390
01:39:46,200 --> 01:39:46,886
Hey!
1391
01:39:48,623 --> 01:39:51,128
You wanna jump out a plane
without a chute, be my guest.
1392
01:39:51,128 --> 01:39:53,603
But forgive me if I don't join you.
1393
01:39:54,506 --> 01:39:56,720
This isn't about love
for you at all, is it?
1394
01:39:58,644 --> 01:40:02,487
Yeah... This whole time,
I thought I was the coward.
1395
01:40:07,642 --> 01:40:09,830
- Where you going?
- Skydiving.
1396
01:40:35,671 --> 01:40:37,296
Allegra! Allegra!
1397
01:40:37,933 --> 01:40:39,686
Allegra!! Allegra!
1398
01:40:40,719 --> 01:40:42,088
Taxi! Taxi!
1399
01:40:43,021 --> 01:40:45,978
Allegra! Allegra!!
1400
01:40:47,274 --> 01:40:49,517
Taxi! Taxi!!
1401
01:41:15,716 --> 01:41:17,010
Mr. Hitchens.
1402
01:41:18,129 --> 01:41:19,996
Miss Cole,
thank you very, very much for seeing me.
1403
01:41:20,468 --> 01:41:22,465
You said
it was a matter of life and death.
1404
01:41:24,045 --> 01:41:27,476
That man would've sold his soul
to make you happy.
1405
01:41:28,105 --> 01:41:30,516
So, what does that make you,
the devil?
1406
01:41:32,853 --> 01:41:37,606
My job is not to deceive, Miss Cole.
It's to create... opportunities.
1407
01:41:39,147 --> 01:41:40,358
Like the boardroom.
1408
01:41:41,039 --> 01:41:42,667
- Would you have noticed him otherwise?
- Yes.
1409
01:41:42,989 --> 01:41:45,325
- Really?
- Eventually.
1410
01:41:50,001 --> 01:41:50,947
Maybe.
1411
01:41:54,838 --> 01:41:57,173
How did you know
all that stuff about me?
1412
01:41:59,712 --> 01:42:01,471
Well, you really did your homework.
1413
01:42:03,424 --> 01:42:07,266
Like at boarding school, when everyone
used to tease me cause I couldn't whistle?
1414
01:42:07,769 --> 01:42:11,191
And having him dance like a buffoon
knowing that I can't dance, either?
1415
01:42:11,739 --> 01:42:15,856
Then telling him to drop mustard
on his shirt, so I'd feel less like a dork?
1416
01:42:19,279 --> 01:42:24,661
- That was all you, right?
- No. Hell, no.
1417
01:42:24,696 --> 01:42:28,714
- That was him?
- That's got Albert written all over it.
1418
01:42:30,238 --> 01:42:32,254
Did you put 'im up
to the inhaler?
1419
01:42:32,540 --> 01:42:35,174
Stop it.
He did not show you that.
1420
01:42:36,289 --> 01:42:38,054
He chucked it
right before he kissed me.
1421
01:42:39,042 --> 01:42:43,466
So-so, wait... that...
that... stuff worked for you?
1422
01:42:45,185 --> 01:42:46,717
It was adorable.
1423
01:42:54,479 --> 01:42:56,056
What did you do?
1424
01:42:58,063 --> 01:42:58,979
Nothin'.
1425
01:43:04,485 --> 01:43:06,827
Absolutely nothin'.
1426
01:43:08,939 --> 01:43:09,881
That's good.
1427
01:43:11,743 --> 01:43:14,209
- So, this was your plan the whole time, huh?
- Hey, Albert.
1428
01:43:14,209 --> 01:43:16,331
You sail off into the sunset
with my girl?
1429
01:43:16,332 --> 01:43:17,285
Albert!
1430
01:43:17,584 --> 01:43:18,469
Albert!
1431
01:43:20,414 --> 01:43:20,920
Albert!
1432
01:43:21,503 --> 01:43:23,670
- You were like a brother to me!
- Albert!
1433
01:43:26,295 --> 01:43:29,129
- He came here for you.
- Who?
1434
01:43:29,129 --> 01:43:30,595
The guy you're chokin'.
1435
01:43:41,036 --> 01:43:43,941
- My God... I love-I love you.
- I love you.
1436
01:43:43,941 --> 01:43:47,035
No, I-I.. I really love you.
I... love you.
1437
01:43:50,242 --> 01:43:52,619
- I love you more.
- Oh, no, I love you more. I really do.
1438
01:43:52,868 --> 01:43:57,873
Hey, uh... I got somewhere I gotta go.
So, um...
1439
01:44:28,486 --> 01:44:30,905
- Yeah, who is it?
- Hitch.
1440
01:44:31,251 --> 01:44:33,374
Uh... Can I talk to you?
1441
01:44:41,803 --> 01:44:42,589
What?
1442
01:44:42,835 --> 01:44:46,504
Uh... Hey, you almost hit me.
1443
01:44:51,096 --> 01:44:55,888
Look, I just, uh...
I wanted to stop by... basically. Um...
1444
01:44:56,982 --> 01:44:58,229
See, this is the thing.
1445
01:44:58,823 --> 01:45:07,442
I, um... This is... weird.
I don't have me behind the door, you know.
1446
01:45:08,785 --> 01:45:09,450
Close your mouth.
1447
01:45:13,157 --> 01:45:15,976
Yeah, because I.... I knew
at some point I-I'd be...
1448
01:45:18,202 --> 01:45:23,252
you know... right-right here. You know...
But I-I thought that... you know...
1449
01:45:27,077 --> 01:45:29,265
everything would come out, you know,
but it's... you know, it's like...
1450
01:45:31,348 --> 01:45:32,800
That's throwin' me off.
1451
01:45:38,199 --> 01:45:40,480
- Can we close the door?
- What?
1452
01:45:40,480 --> 01:45:44,015
I'm sorry. Just... ju... can we...
I just need, I need...
1453
01:45:44,356 --> 01:45:46,986
- Are you serious?
- No, just... like this-this.
1454
01:45:51,244 --> 01:45:53,115
What do you want, Hitch?
1455
01:45:55,207 --> 01:45:56,047
You.
1456
01:45:59,255 --> 01:46:03,256
For-for... a whole lotta reasons
that don't make any sense to me.
1457
01:46:04,681 --> 01:46:07,625
I mean... What,
we've been on... three dates?
1458
01:46:07,789 --> 01:46:10,552
But, that's... See, that's what's crazy.
1459
01:46:10,552 --> 01:46:13,591
That's what's crazy,
because I know.
1460
01:46:13,591 --> 01:46:15,008
I know deep...
1461
01:46:15,300 --> 01:46:20,155
like just... down, just... in this area...
1462
01:46:20,848 --> 01:46:23,058
that... I just know...
1463
01:46:24,393 --> 01:46:25,394
that I want...
1464
01:46:26,689 --> 01:46:33,455
I wanna be... miserable.
Like... really miserable.
1465
01:46:34,528 --> 01:46:35,361
Cause, hey...
1466
01:46:35,533 --> 01:46:40,116
if that's what it takes...
for me to be happy... then...
1467
01:46:42,458 --> 01:46:44,023
Wait, that didn't come out right.
That...
1468
01:46:44,460 --> 01:46:46,337
What the hell is wrong with you?
1469
01:46:46,552 --> 01:46:49,924
- Nothing!
- No. No, no, not, no, not you.
1470
01:46:51,218 --> 01:46:53,171
I'm-I'm talkin' to me.
1471
01:47:14,406 --> 01:47:16,200
Alex Hitchens, Tom Reda.
1472
01:47:16,484 --> 01:47:17,295
Hey.
1473
01:47:20,841 --> 01:47:22,331
I'll just put this in the car.
1474
01:47:36,589 --> 01:47:38,301
Maybe it's like what you said.
1475
01:47:38,469 --> 01:47:42,596
We should just both go our separate ways
and then we'll do just fine.
1476
01:47:54,316 --> 01:47:56,371
What if fine isn't good enough?
1477
01:48:01,325 --> 01:48:03,247
What if I want extraordinary?
1478
01:48:04,247 --> 01:48:05,537
No such thing.
1479
01:48:17,967 --> 01:48:20,267
I'm just as scared as you are, Sara.
1480
01:48:20,765 --> 01:48:24,224
But I'm right here,
and our time is right now.
1481
01:48:24,274 --> 01:48:25,942
Oh, yeah?
Well, what about before?
1482
01:48:25,942 --> 01:48:29,143
Sara, I am a guy. Since when
do we get anything right the first time?
1483
01:48:29,143 --> 01:48:32,064
Well, I'm a realist,
and I know what love does to people.
1484
01:48:32,361 --> 01:48:34,022
- No, you don't.
- Keys.
1485
01:48:34,732 --> 01:48:35,274
Keys.
1486
01:48:36,193 --> 01:48:38,656
There you go. Right here.
1487
01:48:41,863 --> 01:48:44,707
I don't know who this is...
and I don't care.
1488
01:48:45,170 --> 01:48:49,913
What I do know... is he'll never...
feel about you the way that I do.
1489
01:48:52,097 --> 01:48:54,792
- You know how to drive a stick?
- Both o' you, shut up!
1490
01:49:02,086 --> 01:49:04,395
- You okay?
- Yeah. No, I'm fine.
1491
01:49:05,298 --> 01:49:07,944
You'll never be fine,
and neither will I!
1492
01:49:10,935 --> 01:49:12,281
Maybe I should drive.
1493
01:49:13,353 --> 01:49:15,373
Are you trying
to get yourself killed?
1494
01:49:16,006 --> 01:49:16,777
If that's what it takes.
1495
01:49:17,026 --> 01:49:18,166
Sara, what happened?
1496
01:49:18,166 --> 01:49:21,030
- He jumped on the car.
- Why?
1497
01:49:22,029 --> 01:49:23,538
Because that's what people do.
1498
01:49:24,528 --> 01:49:28,161
They leap... and hope to God
they can fly.
1499
01:49:33,792 --> 01:49:35,007
Cause otherwise...
1500
01:49:36,089 --> 01:49:38,603
we just... drop like a rock...
1501
01:49:39,219 --> 01:49:41,298
wondering the whole way down:
1502
01:49:42,051 --> 01:49:45,850
"Why in the hell did I jump?"
1503
01:49:47,428 --> 01:49:51,062
But here I am, Sara. Fallin'.
1504
01:49:52,102 --> 01:49:56,285
And there's only one person...
that makes me feel like I can fly.
1505
01:49:58,650 --> 01:49:59,612
That's you.
1506
01:50:04,988 --> 01:50:07,726
So... you kinda like me, huh?
1507
01:50:08,914 --> 01:50:09,659
Nah.
1508
01:50:11,091 --> 01:50:12,179
I love you.
1509
01:50:13,584 --> 01:50:16,127
I love you,
and I knew it from the first...
1510
01:50:26,876 --> 01:50:29,346
If I say it back now,
it'll sound so stupid.
1511
01:50:30,099 --> 01:50:30,863
Sara!
1512
01:50:32,196 --> 01:50:36,492
Maria, this is the guy I was telling you about.
Hitch... Hitch, that's my sister... Maria.
1513
01:50:36,645 --> 01:50:38,521
And that's her husband, Tom.
1514
01:50:39,981 --> 01:50:40,610
Hey.
1515
01:50:43,393 --> 01:50:44,118
Her husband.
1516
01:51:26,279 --> 01:51:29,610
- Where's your date?
- Oh, don't have one.
1517
01:51:35,879 --> 01:51:37,248
I know. Shocking, huh?
1518
01:51:40,749 --> 01:51:43,599
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1519
01:51:50,637 --> 01:51:51,595
Are you all right?
1520
01:51:53,347 --> 01:51:54,657
Grandma, what happened?
1521
01:51:55,350 --> 01:51:59,035
This young lady just saved my life.
1522
01:52:03,498 --> 01:52:05,448
Ask her to dance.
1523
01:52:05,696 --> 01:52:09,157
Oh... Well... if you insist.
1524
01:52:10,125 --> 01:52:13,332
- I'm Casey.
- Charles Wellington.
1525
01:52:14,494 --> 01:52:17,575
- Oh, and this...
- Oh, forget it. Just go.
1526
01:52:30,925 --> 01:52:32,469
Basic principles:
1527
01:52:34,114 --> 01:52:35,430
There are none.
1528
01:52:36,000 --> 01:52:39,125
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